#SOOOOOOOO dead about this actually when will i see my son and my daughter in someone elses stuff....... whennnnnnn i can't subsist

[welcometoteyvat]

Xingqiu slumps onto his desk, defeated. The deadline for a special volume of A Legend of Sword is scarcely three nights away, and yet he still hasn’t progressed past the first fight sequence. Every word he pens feels inadequate, his characters are becoming more and more crooked, and the sentences are crawling away from him like silkworms off the page—one, two, three, four… Wait—but the next arc… His valiant unnamed hero will claim a narrow victory against the Tai-Shogun’s cyborg samurai, and then—and then…

When Xingqiu’s eyelids flutter open again, the lantern by his window has dimmed considerably. He cannot have dozed off for that long, can he?

At least his father and brother are asleep. It would be best if they never find out about his sleeping schedule.

The shadow of his hand is so sharp against the pages of his lantern-lit draft. Xingqiu traces the ridges of his knuckles, a flickering black silhouette on the page beneath it. From this angle, it almost looks like a dragon’s mouth, one of the Natlan kinds… Maybe he’ll be able to see one in person someday…

He should try to finish this chapter, since it’s almost done anyways… Oh, but didn’t Calx mention something about their alchemy experiments in their last letter? Perhaps they know a potion that could increase his inspiration… it wouldn’t be too late to ask about it, right?

His eyes shut slowly.

“—qiu. Xingqiu. Hey, bookworm. Aren’t you a sorry sight, hm?” Someone is poking his shoulder. He wishes they would stop. He knows that voice. It—

“…Wh— Hu Tao? Isn’t it late? How did you even get in?” Where is she? Xingqiu can only stare blearily in the direction of her voice, strangely disembodied in the pitch-black room.

“The same way I always do; don’t tell me you already forgot? Anyways, there was business at Wuwang Hill tonight. It takes a long time to walk back.” There's rustling, the tap-tap of shoes against the sandalwood floor, and then a crackling of fire as Xingqiu's lantern flickers to life again. It illuminates Xingqiu’s room, his manuscript, and the girl leaning against his desk, idly twirling her hat round her thumb. A smile dances across Hu Tao’s peach blossom eyes, and her merry lips quirk up at the corners, greeting him warmly. Xingqiu is impressed by her liveliness at such an hour; anyone normal would never be in such a good mood in this dead of night. Of course, Hu Tao has never settled for normalcy. And he would be delighted to see her any other time, but…

“Hu Tao, I appreciate your visit, but you should head back to Wangsheng. I need to focus, and you should rest too.” Xingqiu straightens in his chair, and immediately grimaces—his back is aching. Hu Tao’s eyes narrow, and Xingqiu resigns himself. He’s never been able to hide much from her: not his double standards, his avoidance, his fatigue.

“You’ve been in this slump for at least a week, and you’re still putting on a brave face? It’s unbecoming for a chivalric hero to refuse help in dire straits, Xingqiu.” Hu Tao’s voice is rarely so serious, and Xingqiu can feel her studying him, her gaze quietly burning. He looks away. When had she become so adept at instilling that indescribable feeling of shame-guilt in him?

“How long have you been working on this dialogue? You know, inspiration won’t strike you like a lightning bolt in this dead of night, or it would’ve already.”

“I—” Xingqiu looks back at the draft. The last sentence trails off illegibly, and there are ink splatters all over the page—it seems his brush control is no better with less sleep. He sighs.

“Aiya… look at you, already so despondent. Isn’t your deadline still three midnights away? Come on, you’re already turning into a dull and uninspired young master. If you go on like this, soon I won’t have anyone to trade verses with anymore.”

“Hey! I’m not becoming dull or uninspired! I just… I just need a bit more time.” Yeah, that’s it. He just needs to get used to the flow of his story again. After all, there’s never been another way out, has there?

“Hm. Whatever you say, young master. Listen, let me tell you about the hanged ghost mystery that cropped up a week ago; it’ll send chills down your spine for sure. I guarantee it would make for an incredible plot point!” There’s a warm lilt in Hu Tao’s voice—a rare teasing fondness that makes Xingqiu raise his head. She is looking at him expectantly, eyes alight with the promise of a good story, words waiting to spill from her lips like the sweet melody of just-ready rice wine.

Really, this girl. It’s scary how much she understands him.

“Oh? Then, if it pleases Master Hu to continue, my attention is all hers.”

———

notes: i have no idea how hu tao could get into his room tbh i just accept she's better at being a prankster than i am lmao. peach blossom eyes does not just refer to hu tao's pupils, it's an eye shape classification! i thought it fits her <3 (putting this note here since I already described it like that 2x) also just imagine that xingqiu usually has relatively fast reflexes but he's eepy and tired so he isn't as alert against intruders. also, smiles serenely. they could be each other's muses and inspirations (high honor). this is rlly just xingqiu going through The Horrors (writers block) but i hope it's decent i love him dearly. i dont actually know if hu tao was written that well tbh something about writing in limited perspective kinda fucks me up idk. the more i look at this the more things i find wrong with it but i need to be free from it now or it's never getting done

also this is irrelevant to this snippet but i choose to believe in shit eyesight xingqiu who got the teyvat equivalent of contacts and/or lasik eye surgery. he would've needed glasses but he doesn't want to look like an Old Man!!!! (baizhu: ._. )

[althealuisa]

Trust

BASED ON Doubt by @jinmukangwrites (this is the URL bc I don’t trust Tumblr yet) , one of my favourite authors that brightens my day, every day <3

Go read that first, it’s basically like part one. Please leave a kind comment <3 <3

Just as a disclaimer, I’m not native and I didn’t even check for typos more than once soooooooo... Expect to find a few here and there

I’m tired now and need to go to bed. i wrote this in class the last two days bc I was bored and  actually came up with this Idea while not being able to sleep after reading Doubt. Oh well.

________________________________________________________________

Twilight stood and stretched his hand out to Wild. “Let’s go back. The others are worried.” For a second, Wilds panicked mind told him to run. He didn’t want to go back to the others. He didn’t want to talk to them. He wasn’t ready to tell them yet. He never was ready to begin with.

They wouldn’t want to know anyway.

He grabbed Twis Hand and stood up. “You know that we need to tell them, right?” Twilights voice was wary, as if he was afraid to break something. Wild nodded. Twilight frowned. “I mean now. Like, I mean right now. They will want to know. And, I’m sorry, but they deserve to know” Wild stared at the ground, rolling the words around in his head. “Okay” He hated how sore and tired his voice was.

Twilight turned around and started slowly walking back towards camp, not noticing how Wilds back straightened, how his breathing evened into an forcefully slow and pressed rhythm, how the torment on his face faded into an emotionless mask. This wasn’t the first time he did this, and he guessed it wouldn’t be the last. He followed his predecessor, his steps too stiff and even, his movements too controlled.

Look at you. Do you think they won’t see right through you? This is ridiculous.

They won’t. He caught up to Twilight, walking just a few steps behind him. They moved in silence, the conversation they were to have looming over them. They could hear the others arguing from far away. “I just want to search for them, come on!”, “You can’t just waltz of on your own. Twilight can handle this.” Obviously, Twilight had been right. Wind didn’t seem too happy with just waiting for their return. Although Time seemed more than calm, Wild could hear the slight worry in his voice.

Twilight stepped into the small clearing and all the Links fell silent. “Did you find him?” Time asked concerned. Twilight nodded and continued to walk forwards without a word. His expression had changed into an almost angry stare. He sat down at the fire place and said nothing as Wild stepped out of the woods. “Wild! Are you alright?” Wind shouted, bolting forwards and throwing his arms around Wilds waist, breaking the upright posture he had remained in. Wild froze in place, not moving at all.

Wind let go of him after a few seconds and studied his face worriedly. “Come”, he said, dragging him towards the fire. He obeyed and sat down next to Twilight. The others followed them. The short, uncomfortable silence that fell was broken by Time. “What is going on Wild, what happened?” His voice was sturdy and calm, his features relaxed. Wild didn’t dare to answer. He knew his voice would fail him and he certainly didn’t want to break into tears in front of the others again. None of them noticed how he straightened his back again and raised his chin, but they all recognised how he lifted his hands.

It’s about the TriForce. He signed. Only Time spoke sign apart from him, so he sighed silently and began translating for him. “It is about the TriForce… He doesn’t have it”. He frowned at the last word as Wild lowered his Hands. A silence fell over the group. Wind shifted uncomfortably. “So?” asked Twilight. “What does it matter?”

“Well, it’s a sign Twilight. We all have the TriForce, we know that we are the Hero of our times because the gods gave it to us. How would we…” Warriors stopped himself seeing the look on Wilds Face. The Facade he had kept up had broken quickly. His features were twisted in pain and his eyes now stood out to them as red and puffy. He lifted his hands again.

“That’s not true” Time answered angrily to Wilds movements, but Wild shook his head and continued. “Time what is he saying?” Asked Hyrule worriedly. Time took a deep breath and began to translate Wilds signs. “He is right. It’s not only the TriForce, there is much more like that. I don’t belong with you, which is not true.” anger was shining in Times eyes as he said the last words. Warriors paled. “Wild, no. That’s not what I meant. You are as much of a hero as everyone of us.” Most of the others either nodded or hummed in agreement. Wild shook his head again. Tears were leaking out from his eyes as he signed. You don’t understand.

Look at you. They are lying to you again, trying to get your hopes up. They always have to care for you.

Time repeated him again and Twilight suddenly stood up, his face twisted in anger and sadness.

All because of you.

“How could you even believe for one second that you are not like us?”

Because you aren’t. You failed. So many dead people.

He spoke, his voice crumbling as he formed the words: “Because I am nothing like you.”

You are a failure.

“Why would you think that?” Hyrule asked, his voice soft and understanding. Suddenly Wild just wanted to get away. Panic flooded every inch in his body, his Head screaming at him to run away, to leave the others and to stop bothering them, to leave them behind for their own good and go back to doing what he did before he was a burden to everyone around him.

So, you want to be dead? Because every second of you being alive was a burden to someone, a problem in their way. How old where you when you pulled the sword? When your mother was killed because of you?

The image suddenly flashed through his mind, and before he knew it, he was sucked into the memory.

  The World was different. Brighter. So colourful. Every little creature strolling by or floating through the air brought joy to his little heart. His father was walking in front of him, a bright smile adorning his features, surrounded by a few more men, all clad in armour bearing the royal crest like him. “Come on my boy! It’s not much further!”

He was right. Only a few minutes later they stood in front of a dense forest. Although he was little, he noticed the uneasiness with which the guards were looking at the fog wavering through the trees.

“The princess and the king are going to be here soon. So, do as I taught you son!” He smiled at him proudly as Link stiffened his back and brought his feet parallel together. They stood to the side as Princess Zelda, barely 6 years old, arrived. Her face seemed too serious, her eyes just too old for her age as though she had seen more than even she herself could comprehend.

Her father walked right behind her, his face more relaxed and happier than you would expect him to be. “Let us begin. As I promised, your Son is allowed to come with us Soren.” The King said and nodded to Links father. The knight nodded and stepped into the fog, tightly holding his sons Hand. “Stay close to me Link.” He drew his sword and walked onwards in a seemingly illogical pattern. The Princess, the King and the knights followed them close behind.

When slowly there appeared, what seemed to be an entrance into a brighter part of the forest, Link had the strange sensation, that it could have been a mistake to follow his father to this place. They stepped through a huge hollow tree trunk and suddenly stood in a brightly lit area. “We have arrived, Sir” Links father said and stood to the side. The Royals walked past them and took the lead further into the forest.

Zelda stopped in front of a big stone pedestal. She looked up at a massive tree right in front of her. “Great Deku tree. Hear our prayers.” Even her voice sounded mature for her age. “We have heard of a prophecy that has told of the return of the great evil, Ganon himself. We seek your advice in this time of need as the gods have proven themselves deaf to our pleas.” She fell silent. A dark chuckle filled the air. “Princess, you have come here without knowing that you have searched in vain.” The Kings shoulders dropped.

“Because what you need has been with you the whole time. As the ancient legend tells, a legendary hero, wielding the sword of evils bane that I have been guarding over the past millenium , and a sacred princess, with the blood of the goddesses have sealed the evil away in the past. You, my dear bear the blood of the goddesses. And the legendary hero is right here with us.” The trees voice sounded almost sad, like he didn’t like what was going on. Links father suddenly paled. He grabbed Links shoulder so strongly, that his knuckles turned white.

“What do you mean?” The king demanded, his voice echoing though the empty forest. “The young boy behind you, he has been chosen by the goddesses. As you know, only the chosen hero himself could pull the sword from its pedestal. Let him try it.” Shocked silence had fallen over the group. The King and his daughter spun around and stared at Link. He was hiding behind his father, panic in his eyes. He didn’t understand all of it, but enough to know that whatever was happening wasn’t good.

“Link.” The King said, his voice sounding almost sorry. “Do as the tree said.” Link didn’t move. “Soren, step away. I am sorry, but if the tree is right…” His father swallowed and stepped aside. Link stared at him, his eyes big and scared. “Do as the king said Link. Like I taught you. Be a good boy…” Soren didn’t look at him as he said those words. Link turned and walked past the King and the princess. Panic was brooding in his stomach.

He could see the sword, its blade buried in the ancient stone. “Pull at it, boy. And don’t let go, whatever happens.” The tree boomed. Link grabbed the hilt, his teeth clenched. He pulled at the handle and suddenly pain fired through his body. He screamed, but he kept pulling, thinking that he might die if he wouldn’t.

He pulled and shouted and screamed, his father screaming something behind him. But Link knew that the tree had been right. Light was erupting from the pedestal and the blade was coming lose. Suddenly, with a loud sound it slipped out of the pedestal. The light died down and the princess shouted something seemingly surprised.

Link sank to his knees, his body shaking and his hands firmly grabbing the hilt of the sword in his hands. He heard faint steps behind him. “Link?” His father asked scared. “He is the chosen hero, Hylian.” The tree said thoughtfully. “I reckon that you will take such actions as to prepare the boy for what is to come. You have loads to do” He continued, directing his words at the King.

Suddenly the scenery changed. Link stood in front of a big door, listening to the argument going on behind it. “He is only five sir! You can not ask something like this of a boy this young! He can barely lift the sword by himself, how is he to already train with it?” He heard his father shout, his voice exhausted but determined. “Soren, this is nothing we can debate about. I can not change his destiny as the gods have chosen him. He will begin his training soon. Travel home and let him say goodbye. He will not return for long. That is an order.”

The scene changed again and Link and his father were approaching the door of their home. His father stopped and looked at his son for a second. “Whatever your sister and Mum say, It doesn’t matter.” He kneeled down. “It is not your fault my son. I know you think that I am sad because of you, but I couldn’t be. I love you boy.” He hugged Link for a second, then stood up. Without another word, he knocked at the door. Nothing was to be heard from inside the house. His father opened the door and stopped the second he entered.

He sank to his knees right behind the doorframe. “What’s going on Father?” Link asked worriedly. As he received no answer, he squeezed himself through the gap between his father and the door frame and then turned. He froze in place. His mothers corpse lay on the floor, a big bloody wound in her chest. His father suddenly jumped to his feet. “Stay back Link.” He snarled without looking at him.

He pulled his sword and walked further into the house. Suddenly, a loud cry sounded and the clanging of metal. Another cry followed and another, suddenly 4 people appearing seemingly out of nowhere. One of them was fighting his father, while the others approached him. They were laughing with glee and raising their strangely curved swords, ready to strike him down. He backed away, his way to the door cut off.

But he didn’t need to worry.

Before they could even touch him, they were dead, his father standing above them panting. “Yiga…” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “How could we forget…” suddenly a small cry was to be heard. His father rushed forward and opened the closet. A brown shadow jumped out and threw its small arms around Link’s father. “Daddy!” the little girl cried, tears streaming down her face. The man kneeled down, hugging her close and trying to comfort her. Link watched from afar, the pained expression on his fathers and sisters faces seemed to clench his heart together.

  “I think he’s waking up guys! Wild!” someone shouted as Wild snapped out of his memory. His muscles collapsed beneath him and he tumbled to the ground. Shouting surrounded him that blurred into a confusing mess as he turned to his side and threw up into the grass. His body was trembling, his vision obscured by his tears, his throat seemed to be on fire. He choked as his body was held by two hands, helping him to stay more or less upright. The images of his newly acquired memory were flashing through his mind, confusing him and making his head feel like it exploded. He felt sick, seeing the images of the corpses, but most dominantly guilt seemed to have stuffed his throat.

“Wild calm down!” Twilight shouted, bringing him suddenly back to reality. They helped him sit back up against a tree and tried to hand him a bottle of water. He waved them away as his stuttering breathing started to calm. But the shivering that was rocking his body back and forth only continued on stronger. Time and Twilight had each grabbed one of his shoulders and were holding him tightly. But their firm grip only reminded him of his fathers hand, digging into his back. He choked again, coughing on and on while tears ran down his face. After a few minutes he calmed, his breathing levelling out at least a little bit. “Wild, are you alright?” Time asked seriously. “Yes” Wild choked, His voice hoarse and weak. “You saw one of your memories, didn’t you?” Time asked cautiously, loosening his grip a bit. Wild just nodded in response. “One you knew? Or a new one?“, „A new one”, he answered quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. He could see that the others knew that it couldn’t have been a very pleasant memory. They all looked like they pitied him.

There you go. You finally did it. You managed that they care about you enough to feel sorry for you. And what good did it do?

He lifted his hands and clutched them at his head. The dizziness was confusing him and clouding his mind. “That’s not true”, he whispered quietly. “What do you mean?” asked Hyrule confused. Wild froze. A shadow seemed to go over Times Face. “Wild who were you talking to?” His voice was more than concerned, but he also sounded somehow angry.

“Nobody”, Wild answered carefully, almost scared. Time crouched down, so that he looked into Wilds Face, just a few inches away. “Listen, Wild. You need to let it go. It doesn’t matter how true it sounds, It’s not. Forget it and tell us. Talk to us. We miss you, the way you were before you thought all that nonsense. You are not a burden, you are our friend.” The others looked at Time surprised, but Wild took his hands away from his face and stared at Time, his eyes widened in shock.

“How do you know?” He asked quietly, tears still running down his face. “I knew someone” Time said, looking at him with sadness written all over his features. Wild bit his lip, staring at the ground.

You aren’t strong enough to do this. You are more than just weak. Just give up and let them go.

No, he thought, suddenly determined. They believe in me. I don’t need to protect them. Sometimes… it’s okay to need someone.

“I’m not like you because I failed. I let everyone down. So many people died because of me” he said silently, trying his hardest to keep his voice steady.

What do you expect them to do? To tell you that no one died?

“You didn’t let them down Wild”, Legend said carefully. “You gave your life for them. You did all you could and more. How could anyone tell you that you failed?”

Lies. All lies.

“Sometimes all you have isn’t enough Legend”, he whispered sadly. “So what?” asked Twilight irritated. “After all your torment, after you gave your life, after you saved the kingdom all on your own, without any help, how would anyone still even dare to question what you did? I mean, it was practically the embodiment of heroism if you ask me” Twilight huffed annoyed.

Don’t believe their lies, they are trying to blind you.

“There are so many differences between all of you and me. Different people and villages, even languages in my time. Heck, even the monsters are different!” Wild shouted frustrated throwing his arms around in the air. “We are all different, that’s just the way it is”, said Time slowly.

Distractions. Empty promises. Empty words. Don’t listen to them.

“I think”, Sky started nervously, “That we all feel guilty at some point or another. That we could have stopped the evil earlier. Saved more lives. But the truth is, we couldn’t have. All of us did our best. And although we just don’t seem to understand that, it’s the truth”, he smiled.

NONSENSE!

“I… I think you are right”, Wild slowly nodded. “I’m sorry guys. For all the drama.” He looked down.

THIS WON’T FIX IT!

“Don’t be. We all need that kind of episode sometimes”, Four shrugged. He smiled. “Must be a part of the spirit of courage. You will be very brave but also immensely dramatic when you feel bad. Too bad for you.” The heroes laughed and even Wild managed a smile, a real, genuine smile.

THEY ARE right. I should trust them more.

He felt like a big stone had suddenly been removed from his head. He breathed in slowly.

“I just don’t want to annoy you”, Wild said carefully, but still happily. Time put a hand on his shoulder.

“You couldn’t. We are family, Wild.”

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Happy pride y'all let me tell you about some bullshit

So when I was still half-asleep this morning I heard my mom talking to my dad, she sounded pretty upset about?? Something, and I thought I overheard her wanting my dad to back her up with taking to me in the car or something

So I shrug it off, my dad and I are taking a brief mini trip within this larger vacation while my mom stays with my grandma to keep an eye on her, mom is driving us to the train station and she starts talking. Which is not unusual for my mom. But she's got an agenda this time. And it's pretty heckin obvious, because it's my mom.

So she starts talking about boy scouts and how girls are allowed to join now. And I honestly can't tell what she thinks of that because she sounds like she thinks it's a horrible idea but then she's like 'well when I was younger I was always jealous of the cool stuff the boy scouts learned while us girl scouts were just crocheting...'

And then she proceeds to tell this... Interesting story about herself

When she was 'very little, 3 or 4' she remembers a parent telling her 'no you can't wear that, that's for boys' and being a very small child with no conception of gender roles she goes 'why? There's a difference??' and the parent goes 'yeah boys and girls are different. Boys will grow up to be men like Daddy and girls will grow up to be women like Mommy.' and my mom goes 'oh! Ok, that's cool' and then after this starts becoming self-consciousness about femininity and appreciating that there were things 'for girls' (flowers!) that she liked and things 'for boys' (such as dinosaurs! She says, though afterwards adding, 'although dinosaurs, and flowers, are really for everyone'), like her older brother, which she didn't like.

(hilariously--to me anyway--this is actually interesting in a 'how much of gender is social expectations rather than built in' way which I'm SURE she didn't mean)

Anyways then she goes 'but, [Trefoil] didn't have a brother to compare herself to!" And kind of looks back at me to see what I say

And with the most innocent smile I go "is that why you didn't like me liking dinosaurs when I was younger?" And so she derails into her 'no it's because I think they look demonic' (or something?? Idk tbh) talk

Anyways

.... Did she think she was being subtle? She knows she's not subtle. Does she think she's being nice? I mean, this isn't as flat-out confrontational as a certain email some of you have heard me rant about, which she sent before I myself had even consciously started questioning my gender and which said things like 'Sodom and Gomorrah' and 'we would be losing a daughter, and not gaining a son-that's not how that works!' (so. .. What.... Are you saying I'd be dead to you? That sounds like what you're saying here)

Keep in mind I received this email with zero warning, when I myself wasn't consciously really doing anything strange or even that different, but she felt the need to just chime in out of the blue and inform me, preemptively, that she'd pitch a fit if I ever WAS trans

(Which, in a hilarious turn of events, made me consciously consider how I dress and go 'huh, yeah, it's kinda androgynous. I like it like that. I'm gonna start dressing EVEN MORE ANDROGYNOUS')

Anyways we had a big fight about that email. Because it was horribly rude and the whole thing was very accusatory. And, for once, I got through to her and she realized that we haven't had a good relationship in a long time. So now she's trying to be nice and make me like her again. And, yeah, she's pretty nice until she gets stressed, then she starts snapping at me. so, the usual.

But now she's more likely to be passive-aggressive rather than just flat out aggressive, because she's trying to pacify me. I think I like this even less than the simple aggression. I find complete genuine honesty somewhat redeeming even if it annoys me.

What does she want from me, anyway? Does she want confirmation of my gender in writing?

I'm comfortable being female, I think, I just want to do it on my own terms. I guess that'd be 'gender non-conforming'? I'm still learning

But, but here's the thing, my mom is pretty gnc herself

She just can't abide a slightly different strain of it appearing in her daughter

Neither of us regularly wear makeup or wear the popular kind of feminine clothes

But my style is a bit more androgynous and OH NO, WHAT IF MY DAUGHTER WERE TRANS

she feels the need to freak out about this continually, rather than be concerned about, oh I don't know, the fact that I was suicidal in college and am still crushingly depressed and occasionally think about just not wanting to exist

Does she give a single fuck about my depression huh

Like she had seemed concerned and supportive before, briefly, but she doesn't bring it up, she doesn't ask how I'm doing or how it's affecting me

you know what she DOES bring up?? The way I dress and how uncomfortable it makes her

Honey

Friend

Listen

Shouldn't you be just a bit more concerned that I stay ALIVE maybe

Like she gives the impression she doesn't even want to talk about my mental health, but how I dress????? That's

SOOOOOOOO

Important~

[officergrimes-daddydixon]

The Walking Dead fanfic part seven

Note: hi guys, sorry this took soooooooo long to get out, I can’t apologise enough. I haven’t been at home and I’ve also written this in my phone. Anyway I hope you enjoy this and Sorry its short as well, I re wrote this like 5 times cause I didn’t know what felt right. Enjoy!! Warning: smut!! part one   part two   part three   part four   part five   part six   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Rise and shine!”

The bright future light pierced your eyes as you lazily blinked them open. Maggie was standing by your bed with a tray of eggs and orange juice.

“You need to eat, get your energy up” she said, handing you the tray

You felt sick at the thought of eating but you knew you needed to. You handed the tray back to Maggie and she smiled, leaving the room after. You felt weak and tired, but you needed to go and find Daryl. You had to tell him that you saw Merle last night. You knew he wasn’t really there but it could be a sign that he was still alive. You peeled yourself from the bed and shuffled to the door. Once in the hallway, you were so concentrated on not falling over that you didn’t notice Lori walking towards you.

“Hi (y/n)” she said, startling you.

“Hey” you replied, looking up at her

“I just want to thank you for what you did last night. You helped out a lot” she said, no sign of actual thanks in her voice.

“It was no problem” you said, forcing a smile.

“But don’t think that changes anything” she said suddenly.

You looked at her confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what you know about me and Shane. I just find it strange how you’re suddenly helping out our son. I see the way you look at him (y/n)” she spat.

You felt a fire growing inside of you. How dare she talk to you like this?

“And I see the way you look at Shane. How can you still do that when you now know your husband is alive?”

“You better watch yourself ” she hissed.

“Or what? You gonna run to Rick? Oh sorry, I meant to say Shane”

Her eyes grew wide and you wondered if you went to far that time.

“I needed a distraction! I thought my husband was dead” she shouted.

“So dead people walking the earth isn’t a big enough distraction for you?”

“What Shane and I do is none of your business!”

“What the hell is going on here?” A voice came from behind you and you swung around to see Rick, a confused look on his face.

You froze in your spot, not knowing what to say. You didn’t want to be the one to tell him, that should come from either Lori or Shane, not a stranger.

“Well?” He asked, looking from you to Lori.

“Rick, its not what it sounds like-” Lori started

Rick put his hand up and silenced her. The man looked hurt, betrayed.

“You and Shane?” He asked.

“I thought you were dead Rick, I-I’m sorry!” She pleaded.

“I don’t want to hear it. And you knew?” He said, turning to you.

“Rick it wasn’t my place to tell you" you whispered.

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. He walked off, not saying a word. Lori was crying now, you went to comfort her but she shouted at you to leave her alone and she stalked off into Carl’s room. You sighed and continued outside to try and find Daryl. **** He scoffed when you told him about Merle. He brushed it off saying Merle was probably far from here and what you saw was ‘some dumb hallucination shit’. He walked over to Andrea and Glenn who were going out to look for Sofia, and they all left for the woods. You felt tired again. There was no one to talk to; Dale and T-dog were keeping watch and Carol was isolating herself inside the RV, and you didn’t know Hershel'a daughters enough to speak to them. So you decided to head to your tent and try and catch up on resting. **** It was dark out when you finally woke up. You felt groggy and wondered what time it was. Probably late evening, you thought. You exited the tent and saw T-dog on watch.

“Good morning” he joked, cracking a smile towards you.

“Shut up” you laughed. “What time is it?” “Late. Everyone should be asleep. Shane and Otis are out though, getting the supples for Carl, so you don’t need to give blood no more” You nodded in response. “There’s food for you in the kitchen, Rick saved it for you” You nodded and thanked him and headed to the house. It was dark inside, but the kitchen light was on. You walked in and saw a drunk Rick at the table, his head in his hands. He looked up when he heard you approach, his eyes were sad, but they lit up when he saw you. “Hey (y/n)” he said, leaning back in his chair “Hey” you replied, grabbing the plate of food from the counter. You sat opposite him and stared at the plate, you weren’t feeling hungry, in fact you felt sick. “You not hungry?” He asked “Not really” you replied, pushing the food around the plate. A silence fell over the both of you, it wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t completely comfortable either. You looked up to see rick staring you. “You feeling okay?” you asked him He sighed and grabbed another beer from the fridge. “My wife cheated on me with my best friend, how the hell do you think I feel?” He asked You looked down at the table when rick spoke again. “You’re beautiful” his voice was low and gravelly. “What?” You looked up in confusion. “You heard me” “Rick you’re drunk” you laughed. He laughed as well but his face showed he was serious. “I’m gonna head back outside” you said, not wanting to find out where this was going( as much as you wanted to). You headed to the sink to put your plate down and turned to head out the door when rick grabbed your wrist, stopping you on your tracks. “Rick-” you were cut off as he pulled you onto his lap, you were straddling him. His mouth immediately started attacking your neck and you moaned at his touch. You ran your fingers through his hair and pulled at it when he sucked on your pulse, making you feel dizzy but turned on at the same time. “You can’t deny that we have some chemistry” he said in between kisses. “ I see the way you look at me (y/n)”. Well shit, how obvious are you? “Not here” you whispered. He didn’t listen as he dug his fingers into your legs and bucked his hips slowly so that you could feel his bugle against you. “Lets go to my tent” you said. He nodded and you swung your legs of off him. You walked back to the tent, being careful not to get caught and trying to keep rick from falling over. Once inside the tent you zipped it up and turned to find Ricks lips pressed onto yours. His kisses were passionate and both your tongues were fighting for dominance, he won. You took off your top and jeans, and then took off Ricks clothes, leaving you both practically naked. “So beautiful” he murmured, staring up at your body. You straddled him once again and started kissing his lips, then made your way down to his jawline, neck and chest. His hands were roaming your body, stopping to squeeze your ass every time your hand brushed over his bulge. He unhooked your bra and you took off your underwear and his boxers, his throbbing cock springing free. You were surprised at how big he was, you grabbed his member and licked the under side of it, earning you a growl from Rick. “Come here” he huffed, pulling you up. You grabbed his cock and placed it at your entrance. He didn’t wait before thrusting upwards into you. You placed your hands on his chest to balance yourself. He thrusted into you mercilessly, not letting you adjust to his size. “Fuck” you said, you squeezed your eyes shut and then opened them once the pain had turned into pleasure. Rick grunted with every thrust and you placed kisses on his body. Once you had gotten used to his rhythm you started to work with it. You bounced down every time he thrusted up, causing both of you to groan at the pleasure. He suddenly grabbed your waist and flipped you on your back, still pounding into you. He dropped his head to the crook of your neck and was breathing heavily. He started biting your collarbone and neck, making you groan. “I’m close” you moaned “Me too” he grunted. He carries on pounding into you when you hit your high. You grabbed onto rick and arched your back into him, he thrusted into you and carried you through your high. “Let me make you feel good” he groaned as you held onto him, your body shook beneath him. Rick came after you, pounding a couple more times before pulling out and finishing on your stomach. He collapsed next to you and you were both panting. You sat up and grabbed a tissue to wipe off his seed from your stomach. After that you laid back down and rick wrapped his arm around you. “That’s the best sex I’ve had in ages” he said. You laughed and closed your eyes, both of you falling asleep to the sound of breathing. ————————————————–––————------------------------------------------ Note: sorry for any typos guys, I’ll have part eight up in a couple days! Send in requests and idea for what happens next! I don’t know if I want to follow the tv storyline completely but I don’t wanna go way off course. Anyway I hope you enjoyed!!