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flowerfan2 · 7 years

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Joyeux Noel

Seblaine, T, A03

Set in the Lost Boys’ Life ‘verse (Blaine is a vampire, Sebastian is too).

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Paris, 1920

In the space of one heartbeat to another I loved you and was lost to you. Catherynne M. Valente

The snow had been falling steadily all day, but that hadn't interfered with their plans. A long walk beside the Seine with Blaine, followed by a carriage ride down the avenues, admiring how Paris was lit up like a jewel, was Sebastian's idea of a perfect Christmas Eve.

They got back to their flat and shook off their coats, snowflakes melting as soon as they hit the carpet. Blaine still had snow in his dark curls, and it was all Sebastian could do not to run his fingers through his hair.

"Want some wine?" Blaine asked, not waiting for Sebastian's response before he poured them each a glass of a full-bodied red. Neither of them drank much alcohol, but vampires of their age could tolerate a little food and drink now and then, and they had both agreed that tonight was a special occasion.

Sebastian had only hazy memories of the Christmases before he was turned, but Blaine was younger, his memories more recent. They weren't all good, however, which made Sebastian even more determined to give Blaine a happy Christmas.

The problem was, Sebastian wasn't sure that what he had in mind as the crowning jewel to their evening would actually make Blaine happy. For as long as Sebastian could remember, since he had met Blaine at school when he was a teenager, Sebastian had been in love with him. Although years had gone by, Sebastian never forgot how it felt to be the focus of Blaine's attention. When Sebastian had heard that Blaine was in Europe, he knew he had to see if that spark was still there - and if it was, to do something about it.

No one had ever stirred Sebastian's heart the way Blaine did, and the past week had only proved how deep Sebastian's feelings ran. For the past little while it had been like living in a dream, spending every minute with the man Sebastian was sure was his soulmate.

Sebastian was certain Blaine had enjoyed himself too, spending hours exploring the city with Sebastian, drinking tiny cups of coffee in cafes, and studying great works of art in the museums. Sebastian had already lived more than his share of years, but if he had his choice, he wanted to live the rest of his time in the company of this beautiful and delightful man. He just wasn't sure that Blaine felt the same.

Blaine joined him on the sofa, unbuttoning his suit jacket, and they raised their glasses in a toast. "To spending this wonderful time of year with my favorite person," Sebastian said, feigning more confidence than he possessed. But Blaine just smiled his heartbreaking smile and clinked his glass against Sebastian's.

From where they sat they could see out the window, where the snow was followed by still gracefully falling. They drank in comfortable silence for a few minutes, and Sebastian knew this was his moment to say something, if only he could find the right words.

"Want to listen to some music?" Blaine asked, and Sebastian nodded gratefully. Blaine went over to the record player and put on Chopin, one of Sebastian's favorites. He could practically see Blaine's fingers itch with the urge to play, and he cursed himself again for not making sure there was a piano in the flat he had rented for the two of them.

Instead, he told Blaine about several concerts going on in the city over the next few weeks. Blaine was excited, eagerly agreeing to all of them, until he realized that one was more than two weeks away.

"Oh, that's too bad," Blaine said, looking genuinely disappointd. "I'll be gone by then."

Sebastian met Blaine's eyes, losing himself for a moment in their depths before finally speaking his mind. "You don't have to go. You could stay on. Here. With me."

Blaine's lovely eyes turned sad. "Sebastian, I can't. I'm sorry. I told you I'm... with someone."

Sebastian's heart sunk, but he had to go on. He had waited so long for this chance. "You told me you felt obligated to him, for helping you find your way. But Blaine - in all the time we spent together this week, you never said you loved him. Or gave me any reason to think he treats you well, let alone as well as you deserve."

Blaine rubbed the back of neck. "Dave's been through some rough times."

"Doesn't give him the right to take it out on you."

"He let me come visit you, didn't he?"

"You shouldn't need permission to visit an old friend, Blaine." Sebastian stood and paced across the room, then abruptly sat back down and took Blaine's hands in his. "Just promise me you won't let him hurt you. You won't stay just to pay back some kind of debt."

Blaine grasped Sebastian's hands tight. "He's not going to hurt me, Seb." Blaine let go and stood, moving to refill their glasses. "You worry too much."

If only you knew, Sebastian thought. Blaine had always been a little too trusting for this world, and one day it was going to get him killed. "You can always come to me, if you ever need to. You know that, right?"

"Of course," Blaine said, smiling at Sebastian. But some of the light was gone from his eyes.

Just as Sebastian had feared, Blaine didn't feel for Sebastian what Sebastian felt for him. Sebastian couldn't help but wonder if he had lost any chance at winning Blaine's heart years ago. Although Sebastian hadn't been the one to turn Blaine, he had brought the vampire posing as a doctor to his bedside, and allowed his dying friend to agree to trade his humanity for eternal life as an unnatural creature. Sebastian wasn't sure that was something Blaine should ever forgive him for. He certainly hadn't forgiven himself.

Putting his guilty feelings aside, Sebastian lightly brushed his shoulder against Blaine's, trying to restore the warm and festive spirit of the evening. "Shall we break out the chocolates? Marie set them aside especially for me, they're the best in the city."

Blaine relaxed, and they passed the rest of the night in peace, enjoying each other's company and the fine food and wine. Maybe Sebastian couldn't be the one to love Blaine the way he truly deserved, but he was going to do everything he could to keep him safe from those who would harm him. Having Blaine Anderson in his life was worth it, no matter how Sebastian's lonely heart yearned for more.

#seblainesnowball #seblaineaffairs #sebastian smythe #blaine anderson #my fic #lost boys life

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