#Sergeant Bilko

[papermoonloveslucy]

BALL & THE BUTCHERS!

The Butchers & Meat Markets of the Lucyverse

Before supermarkets and online ordering, consumers visited local buthers and meat markets to shop.  Here’s a look at the butchers of the Lucyverse!

Lucille Ball had a huge imagination when she was a child in Jamestown NY. In order to attempt to control her daughter, her mother made a deal with the local butcher for Lucy to run up and down the street between his shop and their home. It was in his butcher shop that Lucille first made her entertainment debut. In her autobiography, Ball shares details of her first performance on the butcher's counter. Lucy loved to dance and twirl for them, as well as giving her rendition of a jumping frog. She would stick her tongue out and croak. Customers would give her some pennies or a sweet treat to show their appreciation. 

In 1942 Lucille Ball was the subject of a newspaper article titled “Conversation in the Kitchen” by Susan Thrift. The article details how the wartime homemaker can save money and conserve resources.

“If you have a freezing unit in your refrigerator, you can buy meat for the week. You’ve probably learned that you can depend much on a reliable butcher and standard brands. For the rest, remember what your mother taught you about the purchase of meat:”

“Valentine’s Day” (1949)

Katie the Maid (Ruth Perrot), is sweet on Mr. Dabney the butcher (Hans Conried), and Liz (Lucille Ball) offers to help. But when Liz's Valentine to her favorite husband gets switched with her check to pay the butcher's bill, Mr. Dabney gets the wrong idea.

Katie says she has a written a Valentine poem for Mr. Dabney the butcher. Liz calls him “old heavy thumbs”.    

KATIE: “Some people may have better beef, but his liver’s good. And no one has oxtails and pig’s feet like him!”

Mr. Dabney reads the Valentine aloud:

“If you’ll be mine, then I’ll be thyne. You set my heart a-quiver. Say you’ll be my Valentine, And send two pounds of liver.”

Hans Conreid also played Mr. Dabney the butcher in “Overweight” (1949) where a dieting weigh-in is held at his butcher shop.

Mr. Dabney returns in “Reminiscing” (1949), a re-dramatization of “Valentine’s Day” as part of a “My Favorite Husband” retrospective episode. 

When the "Valentine’s Day” script was made for television in 1952 in “Lucy Plays Cupid”, Mr. Dabney the butcher, played by Hans Conried, became Mr. Ritter, a grocer, played by Edward Everett Horton. 

“The Freezer” (1952)

Hoping to save money, Lucy and Ethel purchases a walk-in freezer from Ethel’s Uncle Oscar, a butcher.  When Lucy hears Ethel say that he has a “big cold chest,” Lucy drily replies, “Why don’t you knit him a sweater?”   

After buying the freezer, they buy the meat to fill it at 69 cents a pound. Lucy over-orders two sides of beef from Johnson’s Meat Packing, a wholesale butcher. Lucy tells Ricky that bacon costs 75 cents a pound. The girls end up ordering 700 pounds of meat for a total of $483!  Lucy immediately demands they take it back. 

DELIVERY MAN: “Look, ladies, even if you defrosted it, pasted it back together and taught it to walk, I couldn’t take it back!” 

To shift some of the meat, Lucy and other stake out the local butcher shop, stashing the meat in a baby stroller. 

LUCY (to a customer): “Are you interested in some high-class beef? Are you tired of paying high prices? Do you want a bargain? Tell you what I'm gonna do. I got sirloin, tenderloin T-bone, rump, pot roast, chuck roast, oxtail stump.”

Fred Aldrich plays the butcher who is none too happy about Lucy and Ethel poaching his customers.    

A December 1952 Philip Morris cartoon ad starts with the butcher delivering a side of beef to Lucy and Ethel, inspired by “The Freezer”.

“Together for Christmas” (1962)

The holiday episode opens with Lucy and Viv at the butcher shop, where Ernie the butcher (Joe Mell) is wrapping up Lucy’s Christmas turkey, even though Viv's family traditionally has a goose. 

Ernie the butcher jokingly suggests stuffing the turkey with a goose!  

“Lucy and the Plumber” (1964)

Lucy’s first talent discovery was made in Mr. Krause’s butcher shop when she saw his German Shepard Beauty “howl like the Beatles” when Mr. Krause (Tom G. Linder) played the harmonica. 

”Lucy and the Great Bank Robbery” (1964)

Reading The Danfield Tribune, Viv notes that Oscar the butcher has a special on rump roast. This may be a throwback to Ethel Mertz’s Uncle Oscar the butcher. 

“Lucy Gets Her Maid” (1965)

When Lucy and Viv take jobs as maids for a wealthy philanthopist, they realize that they not only have to prepare and serve the meals, but they have to act as their own butcher, too!

“Lucy and the Old Mansion” (1965)

A wrong number on the telephone keeps trying to reach Irving's Meat Market.

“Lucy Meets Mickey Rooney” (1966)

The backdrop for the Charlie Chaplin sketch features a sign for a market that has “Low Prices on Meat’s”.  The grammatically incorrect possessive apostrophe is particularly odd. By that logic, the episode should be titled “Lucy Meet’s Mickey Rooney”! 

“Someone’s on the Ski Lift with Dinah” (1971)

Harry feels entitled to approach Dinah Shore because his butcher’s cousin’s son’s best friend is engaged to her manicurist.

“Mary Jane’s Boyfriend” (1974)

Mary Jane’s boyfriend of the title owns a meat market. His name is Walter Butley (Cliff Norton). Harry calls Walter “meathead” because when he walked in the door, Lucy had just plopped a package of ground round on his head.

Possibly the most famous butcher on television was Sam Franklin, played by Allan Melvin on “The Brady Bunch.”  Desi Arnaz Jr. appeared on the show in 1970, although Melvin did not appear on that episode. Also, Eve Plumb (Jan Brady) played Lucy Carter’s niece on a 1972 episode of “Here’s Lucy.” 

Melvin appeared with Lucille Ball in a 1959 episode of “Sergeant Bilko” (aka “The Phil Silvers Show”) titled “Bilko and the Ape Man.” Melvin also appeared in several Desilu series: “Vacation Playhouse”, “The Danny Thomas Show,” “The Joey Bishop Show,” “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” “The Andy Griffith Show,” “Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.,” “Mayberry R.F.D.” 

[fruitysteve]

GO READ <3

[kwebtv]

Terry Carter (born John Everett DeCoste; December 16, 1928 – April 23, 2024) Actor and filmmaker, known for his roles as Sgt. Joe Broadhurst on the TV series McCloud and as Colonel Tigh on the original Battlestar Galactica.

Carter acted in numerous television series, specials, and theatrical films. Carter was a regular cast member of The Phil Silvers Show (popularly known as Sergeant Bilko), appearing as Pvt. Sugie Sugarman in 91 episodes between 1955 and '59. Carter played boxer Rosie Palmer in a 1964 episode of the ABC drama Breaking Point. In 1965 he was the only black actor to have a role in the World War II drama Combat! in the season three episode "The Long Wait". He is best known internationally for his co-starring role as Colonel Tigh in the popular science-fiction TV series Battlestar Galactica. He was originally cast as Lieutenant Boomer, but was cut following a roller skating accident that fractured his ankle. After replacing Carter with Herb Jefferson, Jr., producer Glen A. Larson instead offered Terry Carter the role of Colonel Tigh, second in command of the ragtag fleet of starships, giving the series the distinction for the time of having more than one regular African-American character in the principal cast. Carter also starred as Dennis Weaver's partner, Sergeant Joe Broadhurst in the detective series McCloud for seven years.

In 1975, Carter started a small Los Angeles corporation, Meta/4 Productions, Inc. for which he produced and directed industrial and educational presentations on film and videotape for the federal government. Carter was president of Council for Positive Images, Inc., a non-profit organization he formed in 1979, dedicated to enhancing intercultural and interethnic understanding through audiovisual communication. Under the council's auspices, Carter produced and directed award-winning dramatic and documentary programs for presentation on PBS and distribution worldwide. (Wikipedia)

[sewerfight]

Sometimes I shut the fuck up cause like. I literally have nothing safe, normal, nor comfortable to say in various contexts. Like the reason why I'm quiet is definitely not cause I ain't thinking about it. I'm thinking about it in the worst way pal. Oh buddy. Sergeant Bilko voice: he's thinkin!

[70s80sandbeyond]

Phil Silvers (May 11, 1911 - November 1, 1985) as Sergeant Bilko on The Phil Silvers Show

[mariacallous]

Stanley Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove, which did have a little style, was scarcely a picture of relentless originality; rarely have we seen so much made over so little. John Simon, in the New Leader, declared that the "altogether admirable thing" about Dr. Strangelove was that it managed to be "thoroughly irreverent about everything the Establishment takes seriously: atomic war, government, the army, international relations, heroism, sex, and what not." I don't know who John Simon thinks makes up the Establishment, but skimming back at random from "what not," sex is our most durable communal joke; Billy Wilder's One, Two, Three was a boffo (cf. Variety) spoof of international relations; the army as a laugh line has filtered right down to Phil Silvers and "Sergeant Bilko"; and if "government" is something about which the American Establishment is inflexibly reverent, I seem to have been catching some pretty underground material on prime time television. And what not. Dr. Strangelove was essentially a one-line gag, having to do with the difference between all other wars and nuclear war. By the time George Scott had said "I think I'll mosey on over to the War Room" and Sterling Hayden had said "Looks like we got ourselves a shootin' war" and the SAC bomber had begun heading for its Soviet targets to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again," Kubrick had already developed a full fugue upon the theme, and should have started counting the minutes until it would begin to pall.

From "I Can't Get That Monster Out Of My Mind" in Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion

[newyorkthegoldenage]

In 1957, one of top-rated shows on TV was Sergeant Bilko, starring Phil Silvers. Camel cigarettes capitalized on his popularity by swapping out an illustration of the sergeant for the usual one of an anonymous man. It’s not clear whether the smoke came out of Bilko’s mouth, too.

Photo: kodakslides/Instagram

[inky-curves]

Sergeant Bilko #13 (May-June 1959) Cover by Bob Oksner

[interfusor]

Bilko-face.

[kingsnorthportfolio]

[nativenewyorkerposts]

“The difficult we do immediately.  The impossible takes a little time.”  I noticed this U.S. Armed Forces slogan while watching The Phil Silvers Show.  Those words certainly didn’t apply to Sergeant Bilko, who did nothing other than his money-making schemes:)  I wonder if anyone watched this late 1950′s show on a “Barber Pole” television.  This 1959 model is at the Museum of the Moving Image, in Astoria.  (Photo taken on March 3, 2017)

[papermoonloveslucy]

Lucy’s PLANET OF THE APES

The Simian Citizens of the Lucyverse

During her long career on television, Lucille Ball worked with nearly every species of animal - but none more frequently than simians: monkeys, chimps, apes, gorillas, and even the rare (but fictional) gorboona!  

“The Amateur Hour” (1952) ~ Lucy says she’d babysit a baby gorilla for $5 an hour - but she hasn’t yet met the horrible Hudson twins!  Her words will come back to haunt her in future incarnations of the Lucy character. 

“Lucy Buys Westinghouse” (1958) ~ Desi Arnaz takes a Westinghouse representative on a tour of Desilu Studios (formerly RKO). At the props department Viv and Bill show off the model of Mighty Joe Young from the 1949 RKO film of the same name. 

In this promotional film for Westinghouse executives, however, they refer to it as King Kong, another RKO film about a huge gorilla made by the same creative team. Lucie Arnaz remembers playing with the model as a child when set loose at Desilu Studios to play. 

“Bilko’s Ape Man” (1959) ~ Lucille Ball guest stars in an 8 word cameo on “Sergeant Bilko” aka “The Phil Silvers Show” aka “You’ll Never Get Rich.”  In it, a fitness instructor is placed in Bilko’s platoon. To get rid of him (and to make some money) Bilko tries to get him cast in a Tarzan movie. Bilko tries to fix it so his man wins the Mr. Universe contest. First step: he hires a woman (Lucille Ball) to scream when his man goes on stage. When this fails, he dresses Private Doberman (Maurice Gosman) up in a gorilla suit to fight his ‘Tarzan’. Colonel Hall (Paul Ford) sees the 'gorilla’ and soon has the whole camp hunting for him.

“Lucy and Viv Take Up Chemistry” (1963) ~  At night school chemistry class, Lucy gets carried away trying to invent a youth serum.

LUCY: “Shouldn’t we test it on a monkey first?”  VIV: “If there’s one thing the world doesn’t need, it’s younger monkeys.”

“Lucy and the Monsters” (1965) ~ Lucy and Viv have a dream about monsters after seeing a horror movie. In the dream, the maid of a haunted house is a gorilla named Loretta, played by George Burrows. Burrows played a gorilla in his very first screen credit, Tarzan and His Mate (1934). He donned the gorilla suit 18 more times from 1954 to 1978. His final simian character was on “The Incredible Hulk.”

“Lucy and Art Linkletter” (1966) ~ Lucy is picked from Art Linkletter's studio audience and challenged not to utter a sound for 24 hours to win $200. Linkletter arranges for various shocking events to occur at her apartment to get her to speak, including the attack of a giant gorilla named Hilda. George Burrows returns to play Hilda. 

“Lucy and the Monkey” (1966) ~ Mary Jane warns an over-worked and over-tired Lucy that she could start having hallucinations. Meanwhile, Mr. Mooney gets a visit from his old college friend who has a monkey for a show business partner. Lucy sees the monkey and thinks it is Mr. Mooney!

Janos Prohaska played Max the Monkey. He was an actor, stunt man, and animal imitator who is probably best remembered as the talking cookie-mad bear on “The Andy Williams Show” (1969), although due to his thick Hungarian accent, his voice was dubbed. 

He returned to play animals in three episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Prohaska died in a plane crash in 1974.

“Lucy Goes to a Hollywood Premiere” (1966) ~ On the red carpet posing as an usher, Lucy meets a variety of clelebrities, including Mimi Van Tyson (Beverly Powers) and Coconuts Mulligan (George Barrows), stars of the movie “Love in the Jungle”.  This is Barrows’ third and final female gorilla on the series. 

Coconuts goes rogue when she sees Lucy’s yellow autograph book and thinks it is a banana! 

“Lucy the Babysitter” (1967) ~ Lucy takes a job as a babysitter not knowing that they are baby chimps!  They are played by The Marquis Chimps.

The rambunctious chimps tire out Lucy with their antics. Lucille Ball was forced to improvise based on the behavior of the chimpanzees. 

The Marquis Chimps began appearing on television in 1955. They appeared in several TV commercials and on “The Ed Sullivan Show.”  The chimps were the stars of the sitcom “The Hathaways” (1961-62) in which a suburban couple kept three performing chimps as their children. The program lasted just one season on ABC. The act's last TV appearance was in 1976.

One of the toys in the chimp’s bedroom is Clancy the Great, a plastic-cast roller skating monkey, not unlike the Marquis Chimps, who also roller skate. Clancy had pose-able arms and a removable cap to accept tips! It was manufactured by Ideal Toys in 1963.

“Viv Visits Lucy” (1967) ~ On the Sunset Strip, Lucy and Viv track down a wayward Danfield boy to a hipster club named The Hairy Ape. 

“Lucy Gets Jack Benny’s Account” (1967) ~ Lucy sets out to convince notorious miser Jack Benny to become a depositor at the bank. But first, they have to build a vault secure enough to satisfy Benny. One of the extreme methods of guarding the vault is Irving the Gorilla (who is managed by Benny). Although the actor inside the gorilla costume goes uncredited, it may be inhabited by George Barrows. 

“Lucy’s Safari” (1968) ~ When a rare ‘Gorboona’ escapes from The Topanga Zoo, the Carters help a big game hunter (Howard Keel) trap him.

A ‘gorboona’ is a rare, nearly extinct, cross between a GORilla and a baBOON. Janos Prohaska returns to play the Gorboona.

“Lucy, the Helpful Mother” (1969) ~ Kim and Craig babysit for an entire pet shop - transporting all the residents to Lucy’s living room - including Irving, a baby chimpanzee. 

Lucy sings a lullaby to the chimp:

“Rock-a-bye Irving Hark to my chant. You’re kinda cute But you’re no Cary Grant.”

“Lucy and Viv Visit Tijuana” (1970) ~  Lucy, Harry and Vivian go sightseeing in Tijuana, but are stopped at the border after agreeing to take back a plush monkey that turns out to be carrying contraband!  

“Lucy Cuts Vincent’s Price” (1970) ~ Lucy visits horror maestro Price to get a painting appraised and he thinks she is auditioning for a part in his new horror film. This monkey corpse is one of the most unusual props in the mansion - if not all of the Lucyverse!

“Lucy and the Raffle” (1971) ~  At the permit bureau, a stone-faced woman at the back of the line (Jody Gilbert) gets snide with Lucy.

LUCY: “Thank you Mrs. Kong. Give my regards to your son, King.”  

King Kong (1933) was a Hollywood film about a giant gorilla that attacked Manhattan.  A sequel titled Son of Kong was released that same year. 

“Lucy in the Jungle” (1971) ~ The Carters swap houses with a couple from the African jungle. The house comes with pets Fido and Rover - not dogs - but baby chimps. 

When Harry sees Fido and Rover, he reminds Lucy and Kim that King Kong started out as a baby, too! Fay Wray, one of the stars of the original film, also made The Bowery that same year, which was the uncredited screen debut of Lucille Ball.  

“Lucy’s Lucky Day” (1971) ~ Lucy goes on a TV game show and is challenged to teach an untrained chimpanzee to do a trick in order to win a thousand dollars. Jackie the Chimpanzee is the seventh chimpanzee to work with Lucille Ball on television.

Harry dresses up as a gorilla to try to coax Jackie into performing. In his DVD introduction to the episode, choreographer Jim Bates recalls that the chimpanzee only knew one trick – to cross its legs – so the entire routine was built around that. He also recalls that when Gale Gordon took off the gorilla head in the presence of the baby chimp, the chimp went into hysterics and had to be taken off set to calm down.  

Finally, on “Milky Way to Riches” Lucy, Harry, Kim, and Jackie perform “Tell Me, Pretty Maiden” written in 1899 for the musical Floradora. They finish with “Daisy Bell / Bicycle Built for Two.”

The Planet of the Apes franchise began as a 1963 sci fi novel by Pierre Boulle. Boulle was also responsible for The Bridge Over the River Kwaii in 1952, which was referenced in “Lucy’s Summer Vacation” (1959). The first Planet of the Apes film was made in 1968. It was followed by four sequels, a television series and an animated series, as well as a several film reboots. 

Charleton Heston (Taylor) was referenced in “Lucy Fights the System” (1974). 

Roddy McDowell (Cornelius / Caesar / Galen) attended (uncredited) the “All Star Party for Lucille Ball” in 1984. 

Claude Akins (Aldo) appeared on “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy Show.” 

Ricardo Montalban (Armando) appeared as a Prince on “Here’s Lucy.” 

Victor Buono (”Beneath the Planet of the Apes”) appeared on “Here’s Lucy” as a suspected international spy. 

Background players from the Lucyverse who appeared as humans or apes in some iteration of the franchise include: Jerry Maren, Jack Berle, Paul Bradley, Gail Bonney, James Gonzales, Shep Houghton, Arthur Tovey, James La Cava, Joyce Haber, Victor Romito, and Monty O’Grady. 

[pitch-and-moan]

RAF Antsy Pantsy

A British remake of the Sgt. Bilko film, set at an airbase in 1940s post-war Warwickshire.

[kwebtv]

TV Guide -  October 5 - 11, 1963

Phil Silvers (born Phillip Silver; May 11, 1911 – November 1, 1985) Entertainer and comedy actor, known as “The King of Chutzpah.” He is best known for starring in The Phil Silvers Show, a 1950s sitcom set on a U.S. Army post in which he played Master Sergeant Ernest (Ernie) Bilko.

In the 1963–1964 television season, he appeared as Harry Grafton, a factory foreman interested in get-rich-quick schemes, much like the previous Bilko character, in CBS’s 30-episode The New Phil Silvers Show, with co-stars Stafford Repp, Herbie Faye, Buddy Lester, Elena Verdugo as his sister, Audrey, and her children, played by Ronnie Dapo and Sandy Descher.

Silvers also guested on The Beverly Hillbillies, and various TV variety shows such as The Carol Burnett Show, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, and The Dean Martin Show. Perhaps Silvers’ most memorable guest appearance was as curmudgeonly Hollywood producer Harold Hecuba in an episode (titled The Producer) on Gilligan’s Island (broadcast in 1966), where he and the castaways performed a musical version of Hamlet. (Wikipedia)

[argumate]

the other struggle for Ace Troops is that an army not at war is an inherently comedic thing, what with all the standing at attention and saluting and shouting all the time but without anyone shooting at you, it's funny! it's vaudeville! and that goes double if the setting is a military base that's far from anything dangerous and ends up feeling like a bizarre summer camp as a result.

now you can try to get around that by introducing an internal adversary in the form of a corrupt official or a hardass general but firstly this is China so they have to soft pedal that aspect and secondly that's just Sergeant Bilko all over again, it's still funny!

[twistedtummies2]

“Oh Dear, What an Awkward Situation...”

So...had to share a little thing that happened today with you guys, because I figured it would make a few of you chuckle. XD Today I had a visit with an old friend and colleague of mine, who I haven’t had a chance to properly see in almost two years. He’s something of an aficionado for older films and television shows (as well as radio programs), and among a few other things today, we decided to watch an episode of the old time sitcom “Sgt. Bilko.” (The series was later the inspiration for a Steve Martin comedy of the same title, which may be where some may recognize the name.) For those who don’t know, Sgt. Bilko is an army sitcom focusing on the title character: a con-artist who has somehow managed to become a high-ranking sergeant in the U.S. military. The series focuses on Bilko’s many misadventures, as he tries to square being a patriotic soldier and commanding officer with his nature as, in his own words, “a real conniving louse.” My friend decided to share an episode with me I hadn’t seen (I’m not super familiar with the series) which features the first onscreen appearance of an actor I like, Fred Gwynne. Now, at this point, you’re probably thinking: “Okay, TT2, what are you driving at? Why do I care about some old TV series I probably haven’t even seen?” Answer: the episode in question was entitled “The Eating Contest.” Yeah. Suddenly I have your attention, right? The plot of “The Eating Contest” has Bilko feeling frustrated that he keeps losing various gambling games to a rival division. Determined to get revenge (and win back his losses from these earlier gambles), Bilko gets an idea when he finds out one of his new recruits actually has a reputation as basically a professional at eating contests: a guy with SUCH a big appetite, he has literally earned the name “The Stomach.” He thus decides to make a bet with the rival division, who have their own big eater, who calls himself “The Hog.” However, it turns out The Stomach has more or less retired from his gluttonous ways, so Bilko and his cronies have to find a way to convince The Stomach to take down The Hog. Now...this is a live-action series. From the 1950s, no less. So, as you can imagine, I don’t necessarily find the CHARACTERS appealing - I don’t have a crush on The Stomach or The Hog, as they are presented - but the CONCEPTS of this episode? They are another story. I swear, a lot of the visual gags and the dialogue in this episode feels INTENSELY like something I would write or one of my friends would write: for example, the Stomach drinking down a whole bowl of soup, or grabbing two corn cobs at once and alternating between them as he chows down. There’s even a line where Bilko warns one of his men, while the Stomach is getting ready to get to work: “Stay back! Do you WANT to be eaten?!” Even the personalities of both The Stomach AND The Hog feel almost like characters I would make. By Gadfrey, just the descriptions of how much both can eat feels so much like something I would put to paper,  With that in mind...yeah...it actually felt preeeetty awkward sitting there and watching the episode with my friend sitting there. And as you can imagine, it IMMEDIATELY started giving me ideas for doing a story featuring characters I DO find appealing, which didn’t help a whole lot. The only thing that kept me from blushing like wildfire and freezing up was probably the fact that...again...live-action sitcom from the 50s. So I guess that was a saving grace in THIS instance. XD Anyway...just wanted to share that with you all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go brainstorm ideas for the old Malleus vs. Leona eating contest idea I’ve had kicking around for a while. >///>