#Shuuhei

[husbandograveyard]

Hi! Sorry for the first round, let's try a second round lol 🖤 May I request #11, #17, or #6 for Shuhei Hisagi for the awkward pillow talk event?

Mb I was at work reading the rules of your event and read it too quickly😅I was too excited

No worries! You got it now. I love Hisagi, I don't get to write for him too often. I hope you'll like this!

☁️ Pillow talk event - Masterlist ☁️ Prompt: “It’s only awkward if we make it awkward.” “Agreed.” “That sounded awkward.” “I know.” Character: Hisagi Shuhei (Bleach) x GN reader (no pronouns or genitals mentioned) ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ Suggestive content | Minors DNI | Fluff, humor, 'platonic' sex ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You should have known better than to dive into the sheets with your best friend. You really should have not done it. But the sexual tension between the two of you had been increasing every single day for a few months now. A few touches, some accidental -and not so accidental- flirting… it was only a matter of time before this happened. 

And yet. 

You didn’t want a relationship. He didn’t want one either. You had talked about this before. You cherished the friendship way too much. So it would have been for the best if neither of you had ever seen the other person naked in a non-platonic way. 

And yet. 

Here you were, laying on your back, catching your breath after what was arguably the best sex you had ever had. You had felt such a connection the minute your lips connected, and before you knew it, you had been nothing but a mess of limbs on the bed, not an inch of skin left unexplored or untouched. 

“So… we’re not a couple now, right?” 

You were the first to speak up, insecurity apparent in your voice. You had both broken the unspoken promise you had made to each other, and you had to talk about it. Preferably now, before your thoughts and feelings could go on, living a life on their own. 

“No.. we aren’t.” 

He didn’t sound as sure as you had hoped that he would. Hisagi was confident and strong when it came to work, professionalism. But you knew him better than that. And those insecurities came out in vulnerable moments like this. 

“It’s only awkward if we make it awkward.”

You spoke up again after a long moment of silence, staring at the ceiling above you. You couldn’t bear looking at him right now. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you could see his expression, trying not to imagine what he’d look like right now.” 

“Agreed.” 

Then more silence. 

“That sounded awkward” 

You chuckled uncomfortably, trying to diffuse the tension again by just calling it like it was. And he chuckled in response. 

“I know." 

It was silent for a while again, until you noticed the bed shake, just a little. Held back laughter was shaking Hisagi’s entire body until he could no longer hold it back and he just started laughing. You felt the corners of your mouth turn up as well, laughter bubbling up and eventually joining him, until your abs started hurting and your throat was dry. 

“Fuck, we are idiots.” 

“that we are.” 

“But we’re still friends, right?” 

“Of course”

[settsu-hyodo]

will yumichika let shuuhei rock his world? let's find out next week never

[hiyorisarugaki]

…

Listen guys…

I think we need to talk about how blending in with humans works…

[hardasstaichou]

nooo shuub

enter kensei being all cool

and berating and insulting the poor kiddo

[iamavillainandtodayismydayoff]

why is it always the shortest mangas that turn out to be some of the BEST!

They are literally the sweetest with each other🥺😭

Keeping the promises to each other even years later😭😭😭

Their smiles at the end made me so so so happy!!!!!!!😩🫶

And ofc the addition of the adorable family had me laughing hard🤣

Just 4 chapters and i laughed, cried and felt my heart burst🤌 I am going to keep re-reading this for a loooooooooong time~

[gallusrostromegalus]

You can lay blame for this second ask at @hoifne 's feet, I saw their comment on the post and had to:

How did folks react to the moon landing?

"You're ready? No Big Regrets?" Renji asks. He always asks. He'd done hundreds of Konso rituals now that he was doing his mandatory tour of duty in the living world, but he never wants them to feel 'routine', so he talks to the ghosts. Hypes them up a bit for the afterlife, tries to keep his heart in it.

Especially when it's a kid.

"Well, it's not really a big deal..." The ghost Suichi considers. He was maybe ten or eleven years old. Thick prescription glasses, face round with puppy fat, very loved. Love won't stop a freak electrical accident though. Young Suichi is handling his sudden departure really well, all things considered, so maybe love does stop despair. "-but its a bit of a shame that if there's no TV in the afterlife, I won't be able to watch the moon landing."

"Yeah, we're a bit behind the times, but I'm sure one of the mad geniuses in the 12th will invent one sooner than late-" Renji grins ruffling the boy's hair before the rest of the sentence registers. "-The What Landing?"

"The Moon Landing!" Suichi lights up with excitement. "They just launched the rocket yesterday! But in just three days, man will walk on the moon!"

"...The Moon?" Renji blinks, bewildered.

"Yeah!"

Renji points up over his shoulder into the sky, gripping the boy's shoulder, eyes wide. "THE MOON IN THE FUCKING SKY?"

---

The lights of the Fifth division offices reflect blankly off of Captain Aizen's glasses as he attempts to process the news. He is entirely still, save for his eyebrows which are writhing like overcaffienated caterpillars, unable to settle on an emotion to convey.

"The Moon?" Lieutenant Ichimaru squints at Renji even harder than usual, pointing up out the window behind him. "The Moon in the fucking sky?"

"Yeah!" Renji spread his hands. "I didn't believe it either but the humans have managed to work out some neat trick with the way the world turns to like, throw the spaceship like a slingshot..?" he tried to explain.

"So, so there's three guys in a boat-" Captain Aizen tried again, reaching up under his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.

"It's really more like a sealed metal tube, but they call it a Space Ship because it does sorta sail through space..." Renji tried to explain, holding up the newspaper from the living world he'd brought back to substantiate his claims and also provide helpful images to explain what was happening.

"So there's three guys in a metal tube and they... threw it into the sky so hard that instead of falling it started flying instead?" Aizen tried. "How do they even throw something that hard without Kido?"

"So the men are up in this little itty bitty bit at the top that looks like a cap on a vaccine needle-" Renji pointed at the image of the Apollo 11 rocket. "-All the rest of this is the uh. enormous amount of extremely coordinated high explosives they used to launch it. The. The whole thing is like... It's a little over three hundred fifty shaku and only 12 shaku of that is where the humans are. The rest is um. Air they smooshed so hard it became liquid and then they set that on fire and look at the picture you can see the kaboom!" Renji tried to explain, pushing the paper across Aizen's desk for his captain to read.

Aizen certainly pointed his face at the image and accompanying article, but 'read' may have been a bit beyond him at the moment.

"Oh, is that all it took?" Ichimaru hummed with interest. "Well fuck, why haven't we done that?"

"Oh yes, how very silly that the humans have beaten us at the trifling matter of FLINGING OURSELVES INTO SPACE, WHAT THE *HELL* ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ICHIMARU??" Aizen objected.

"Well like. Idea's sound. Moon goes around the earth, so a smaller thing should too. And we can absolutely make a sealed metal container and kaboom bigger than that." Gin shrugged, as though this were plainly obvious. "Betchya the clown that runs the twelfth has the stuff laying around- we got a meeting with him later today anyway, why not ask?"

"Oh sure, that's a great Idea!" Aizen beamed. "Why hello Kurotsuchi-taicho, curious news from the human world- do you think you could spare a few parts and several tons of explosives to send some guys for a stroll on the moon?"

There was a moment of silence where Renji and Gin shared an awkward glance (or at least, Renji gave meaningful look to the narrow slits where his lieutenant-commander's eyes theoretically were).

"...he'd agree to that in a heartbeat, if he hasn't started work on his own Spaceboat already." Aizen groaned.

---

"No." Grunted Mayuri.

"No? Why not?" Aizen asked, head cocked to the side like a confused spaniel.

"Look, what the old man doesn't know about budget expenditures won't hurt him!" Gin smiled encouragingly. "Think of all the scientific data you'd get to research!"

"What the old man finds out about budget expenditures after the fact can and will hurt me." Mayuri growled. "It's not cookie money, kitting an expedition to the living world to engineer a spaceship with atomic matter instead of Reishi- No, much more efficient to let the humans do it for us and poach the date from them."

"...Why would we need to go to the Living world?" Aizen blinked, confused. "I can see the moon from the window right here?" Aizen pointed out the window of Kurotsuchi's office.

"What? That moon? You can't go to that moon!" The clownish chemical engineer cackled."

Aizen and Ichimaru stared at him blankly.

"Is. Is the moon here different than the one in the living world?" Aizen asked, bewildered.

"Different? It doesn't exist!" Mayuri laughed, waving his hand at them.

Aizen and Ichimaru stared at him, then leaned back in their seats, looking out the window at the moon, which still looked as physical and present as it ever did.

"...Oh don't tell me you didn't know." Mayuri frowned, pouting. "No, spirit world doesn't have a moon. The thing up in the sky is a Tulpa- there's a "moon" because everyone who comes to spirit world thinks there should be one, and there's so much ambient spiritual energy even weak souls can exert some force on the nature of reality and when millions of them are all certain there should be a moon, a moon manifests. Or at least, a thing that looks like a moon. Doesn't act like one, changes size and skips around it's phases all the time and if it really were a round object in space, that's NOT what a crescent moon would look like."

Aizen and Ichimaru looked back out the window at the "Moon", whose crescent arced a full three quarters of the alleged satellite's circumference.

"Seriously? this is some really basic stuff." Mayuri glared at them in disappointment. "You never noticed that the moon is always visible out any random window at night, no matter what time it is? It doesn't even go east-to-west more than half the time!"

"But. But we have a lunar calendar..?" Aizen muttered, an edge of genuine distress in his voice.

"Oh yeah, the moon *used* to be regular as clockwork- everyone literally set their watches to it." Mayuri shrugged. "Then sometime about eh, two and a half, three thousand years ago? Right around the same time the first captain-class spirits started appearing, the moon started doing this 'Full Moon Thrice A Month If it Feels Like It' and 'Visible At Improbable Angles' nonsense."

Aizen's eyes were wide and Gin's very nearly open with alarm.

"That's uh- that's terrifying?" Aizen sputtered, now outright frightened.

"Yeah, anybody know what coulda caused that?" Gin muttered.

"The going theory is that the precipitation of a new class of spiritually hyperpotent souls like us has caused disproportionate tugs on the desired appearence of the the "Moon", but that's only a theory- my predecessor's predecessor once attempted to send a camera to the 'Moon' for a closer look, but it never actually *got* any closer." Mayuri explained, casually inspecting his fingernails- he seemed to be growing out the middle one for some godforsaken reason. "-Your theoretical starboat would likely far worse."

"...Okay but that's worse. You understand how that's worse, right?" Aizen demanded and Mayuri waved him off.

"No, no hit makes sense-" Gin nodded, and Aizen glared at his lieutenant. "Think about it! There's what, three and a half billion human on earth? Millions die every day, but only a couple hundred ever turn up every day at the intake queue in the 7th, and nearly everyone is from just the one part of Japan. We're one afterlife of many- ugh, could you imagine if the missionaries were sent here?- anyway, our world is nowhere NEAR as big at the Living World, so the moon-moon is just a geographical feature in the living world, and there's only a couple million people living here. We got disproportionate swing, so we pull on the collective conciousness more. It's fine!"

"That's AWFUL!" Aizen shouted, dismayed.

"I mean I think we all understand God is an Asshole, but what are you gonna do about it?" Mayuri shrugged before tapping on the crate beside his desk. "-Anyway, do you want these Polio Vaccines for the rukongai outreach program our not?"

"I- yes. Please." Aizen muttered.

"Good man, sign here." Mayuri tapped the sheet on his desk. As Aizen tried to read over the provisions release paperwork, the small "Electronic Mailer" on Mayuri's desk pinged. "Oh, the word got out- Kyoraku-taicho wants to hold another moon-viewing party for the occasion. Do me a favor and attend so you can explain to him why we can't go to our 'moon' for me? I don't want to go, and I really don't want to explain it to him through a hangover either."

"If you don't wanna go Boss I'll stand in for you. Promises to be a real riot." Gin grinned.

"Yes, you have your young friend, don't you? Miss Matsumoto?" Aizen smiled fondly at his second-in-command.

"Oh, she probably already got her invite- she an' Miss Nan- er, lieutenant Ise are real pals from the academy." Gin laughed. "Nah, I was gonna drag old blind bones along."

"...Captain Tousen?" Aizen asked, befuddled. "Whatever for?"

"Stars ain't exactly braille, y'know?" Gin explained, wiggling his fingers. "He knows even less than we do an' I wanna watch Rangiku and Kyoraku try'n 'splain the whole thing to him." Gin grinned.

"Sounds lovely! Take your shit and get out of my office." Mayuri threatened.

---

Renji exhaled, still bewildered, laying on his back on the grassy hill just outside the 2nd division training grounds, staring up at the moon as it rose opposite the sunset behind him. Or, maybe not? There had been some lecture about how the moon in spirit world wasn't a moon back at the academy that he didn't really remember-

"You sound like you're in the throes of a moral conundrum Red." Shuuhei teased, looking up from the strange contraption he was setting up.

"Huh?" Renji blinked. "Oh, no I'm just- Those guys in the Spaceship gotta be somethin' else, going to die thousands of miles from home."

"What? The Astronauts? They'll be fine! -Probably." Shuuhei laughed. "They're definitely insane, getting in that contraption at all, but they still gotta come home with all the rocks and whatever they get from the moon for the lab techs to look at."

"...How the hell are they getting back?" Renji frowned, rolling up onto his elbow to frown at his senpai. "I thought they blew up all the rocket getting off the planet?"

"They got a bitty rocket in the lunar landing craft that will get them between their ship and the lunar surface, and then they will angle the ship a bit and the moon will fling them back to earth the way earth flung them at the moon." Shuuei explained, not looking up from the weird bass-drum looking object he was messing with.

Renji opened his mouth, realized his friend probably understood it way better than he did, closed his mouth, shrugged, and changed topics. "So what is that thing you had me haul up here?"

"It's uhhh... Experimental. Haven't got a name for it yet." Shuuhei muttered, placing a level on top of it and frowning at the bubble before adjusting the legs bolted awkwardly to the side of the drum. "-But with all this excitement about the Lunar Landing, I realized Tousen-Taicho is... I mean he gets left out of a lotta stuff, y'know? But it's not like he can see the stars, or the spirit-moon, and I don't think he really understands orbital mechanics-"

"I sure fuckin' don't." Renji muttered.

"Yeah, because you're the kind of moron who put a ham sandwich in a VCR-" Shuuhei rolled his eyes.

"That was ONE TIME, and Matsumoto Senpai told me it was a Panini Press!" Renji sulked.

"-and then pressed "Fast Forward", but Tousen is actually smart as hell- I'm the one who can't explain it without gestures he can't see." Shuuhei continued. "...but I can use a camera obscura and reiryoku-sensitive film to sort of take an old exposure image of the night sky. I'm hoping that if I treat the exposed film right, that the light and dark parts will turn into different textures for him to read, like a braille sky."

"Oh." Renji muttered. "That's really nice of you actually."

"I mean, we'll see if it works." Shuuhei shugged, examining the level again. "Hand me the allen wrenches- What about your boss?"

"Captain Aizen? Uh- honestly? He seems a little freaked out by all this and I saw him fuckin' slam the newspaper into his wastebasket when he got back from the twelth." Renji winced. "He's weird like that. Sweet as cake most of the time but then there's these weird flashes of anger... and I'm not sure how much longer he's gonna be my boss."

"As in you got ambitions, or you think he's gonna get fired?" Shuuhei asked, staring at the level again.

"As in 'Tetsuzaemon Iba got in another brawl with his mother about him only being fourth seat when she made captain, and Liuetenant Madarame asked me if I'd updated my resume recently." Renji winced.

"Woof. Talk about a lateral promotion." Shuuhei winced. "Still, the pay raise would be nice. You could afford to take your girl Rukia somewhere up to her brother's standards!"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Renji snapped, rolling over and jumping to his feet. "-It's -I'm sorry. It's kinda complicated." Renji sighed.

Shuuhei was silent for a minute as Renji sat back down on the grass, face in his hands. After a minute of fine-tuning the drum to keep it level, he spoke up. "You're more than good enough."

"Huh?" Renji jolted. "Oh, yeah- I'd be doing all the eleventh's paperwork but there's no way it's worse than the fucking rice subsidies accounting board-"

"That's not what I meant." Shuuhei glared.

"...I know." Renji groaned. "It's just. It's complicated, okay?"

"If you say so." Shuuhei shrugged. "Alright, hand me the flat box- thanks. It'll be ready for exposure in a minute, and I want to get it done before those clouds roll in." He gestured at the distant thunderheads threatening to bloom into a summer storm on the edge of the city.

The process was quick- the shielded plate went into the gap under the drum, and the light of the night sky was reflected onto it from a pinhole in the top. Once the metal plates were pulled back, it needed a few minutes to pick up enough light, before Shuuhei pushed the metal shutters back in and locked the plate in darkness until it could be developed.

"It's for taking pictures of the stars, right?" Renji asked as Shuuhei started disassembling the camera. "You could call that plate an Astrograph."

"Hah! Futuristic. I like it!" Shuuhei grinned. "C'mon and help me with this thing before the punishment squad turns up to kick my ass for having a camera within a mile of the second."

[rkgknno]

Bleach sketches! also I need everyone to know that there is a zero tolerance policy for Rukia slander in this household, that is all. 

[seireiteihellbutterfly]

Sundae Tropes - Masterlist 🍨

You guys amazed me! Like look at this beautiful masterlist! You guys did that! Thank you for sending in all your delicious requests and making this event such a success.

All the requests were run through a random number generator and will be written in the order below.

I will be tagging the person that requested the sundae on the one-shot when it is posted, unless you have requested it privately, in which case I'll DM you.

Please remember to like and reblog the works being written here. Engagement and interaction is what keeps the writers community going!

Original Sundae Menu

Now onto the lineup:

Cookies And Cream With Sprinkles And Brownie Bits With Kensei And Shuhei = Marriage Pact + Threesome + 69 - posted!

Coffee Waffle Cone #3 With Megumi = Friends To Lovers + “Don’t You Dare Walk Away Right Now!” - posted!

Birthday Cake With Strawberries And Chocolate Chips With Toji = Amnesia/Mistaken Identity + Passionate/Romantic Sex, Emotional Bond + Lotus Position

Peanut Butter With M&Ms And Chocolate-Covered Pretzels With Ichigo = Secret Billionaire+Virginity Loss, Soft Sex, Sweet Talking+Missionary

Coffee With Whipped Cream And Banana With Kenpachi = Friends To Lovers + Creampie/Breeding Kink + Missionary + Doggystyle

Cherry Flavor With Strawberry Toppings And Banana With Suguru Geto = Hometown/Reunion Love + Passionate/Romantic Sex, Emotional Bond + Doggystyle

Cookies & Cream Ice Cream, With Maraschino Cherries And Chocolate-Covered Pretzels Izuru Kira = Marriage Pact + Praise Kink, Lingerie, Blowjob +Missionary

Strawberry With Whipped Cream And Banana With Aizen = Enemies To Lovers+Creampie, Breeding Kink+Doggystyle

Vanilla Whipped Cream And Banana With Kensei = High School Sweethearts +  Creampie, Breeding Kink + Doggystyle

Strawberry With Whipped Cream And Chocolate Covered Pretzels For Aizen = Enemies To Lovers + Creampie, Breeding Kink+ Missionary

Birthday Cake With Strawberries And Chocolate With Gojo = Amnesia/Mistaken Identity + Passionate/Romantic Sex, Emotional Bond + Lotus Position

Vanilla + Strawberries And Chocolate Covered Pretzel With Dear Kento-Kun = High School Sweethearts + Passionate/Romantic Sex, Emotional Bond + Missionary

Can I Get A Mint Chocolate Chip Waffle Cone #5 With Ukitake = Soulmates + "I Trust You With All Of My Heart."

Cherry With M&Ms And Chocolate Chips With Nanami = Return To Hometown/Reunion Love + Virginity Loss, Soft Sex, Sweet Talking + Lotus Position

Butterscotch With M&M's For Kenpachi = Forced Proximity + Virginity Loss, Soft Sex, Sweet Talking

Fudge With Whipped Cream And Caramel With Nanami = Captor/Captive + Creampie, Breeding Kink + Thirst Position

Butter Pecan With Whipped Cream And Nutella! (Gojo + Geto) = Love Triangle + Creampie, Breeding Kink + Butterfly Position

Hurt/Comfort-Themed Cherry Waffle Cone Number Two With Hirako Shinji = Return To Hometown/Reunion Love + “Don’t You Dare Walk Away Right Now!”

Fudge Kitkat Banana Ice Cream With Gin = Captor/Captive + Exhibitionism, Dirty Talk, Hair Pulling + Doggystyle

Peanut Butter Waffle Cone #7 For Kiyotaka Ijicjhi = Secret Billionaire + “Do You Want My Jacket?”

Mint Chocolate Chip With Strawberry And Chocolate Chips With Higuruma = Soul Mates + Passionate/Romantic Sex, Emotional Bond + Lotus Position

Cherry Waffle Cone #12 With Mr. Nanami Kento = Return To Hometown/Reunion Love+“Of Course I Know The Way You Like Your Coffee.”

Peanut Butter With Whipped Cream And Chocolate Covered Pretzels With Nanami = Secret Billionaire + Creampie, Breeding Kink + Missionary

Butter Pecan With Maraschino Cherries And Brownie Bits With Kusakabe And Utahime = Love Triangle + Praise Kink, Lingerie, Blowjob + 69

Strawberry Kitkat With Grimmjow = Enemies To Lovers + Exhibitionism, Dirty Talk, Hair Pulling

Coffee Flavor On Waffle Cone #16 With Higuruma = Friends To Lovers + "I Never Believed In Love At First Sight Before I Met You

Coffee With Crushed Oreos And Gummy Bears With Gojo = Friends To Lovers+Clit Spanking, Nipple Play, Bondage+Facesitting

Cookie Dough + Marshmallows And Reese's Pieces + Kusakabe = Strangers In A Foreign City + Teasing, Edging, Toys + Cowgirl

Rocky Road With Strawberries And Chocolate Covered Pretzels With Toshiro = Teacher/Student + Passionate/Romantic Sex, Emotional Bond + Missionary

Cotton Candy / Whipped Cream / Nutella With A Side Of Nanami = Secret Admirer+Creampie, Breeding Kink+Butterfly Position

Cotton Candy+ Strawberries With Nanami = Secret Admirer+ Passionate/Romantic Sex, Emotional Bond

Mint Chocolate Chip Waffle Cone #5 With Higuruma = Soul Mates + "I Trust You With All Of My Heart."

Rocky Road, M&M's, And Chocolate Chips With Byakuya = Teacher/Student+Virginity Loss, Soft Sex, Sweet Talking+Lotus Position

Chocolate Flavor With Maraschino Cherries With Sum Chocolate Chips On The Side For Higuruma = Boss/Secretary + Praise Kink, Lingerie, Blowjob + Lotus Position

Cookies And Cream With Crushed Oreos And Bananas With Nanami = Marriage Pact + Clit Spanking, Nipple Play, Bondage + Doggystyle

Shuhei Hisagi X Reader Cookies And Cream - Marriage Pact Strawberries - Passionate/Romantic Sex / Emotional Bond  Chocolate-Covered Pretzels - Missionary

Coffee, With Whipped Cream, And Chocolate Covered Pretzels With Gin Ichimaru = Friends To Lovers + Creampie, Breeding Kink + Missionary

Chocolate, Kitkat And Banana With Geto = Boss/Secretary + Exhibitionism, Dirty Talk, Hair Pulling + Doggystyle

Mint Chocolate Chip And M&Ms With Aizen = Soulmates + Virginity Loss, Soft Sex, Sweet Talking

Vanilla With Whipped Cream And Chocolate Covered Pretzels With Nanami Kento = High School Sweethearts + Creampie, Breeding Kink + Missionary

Tagging some friends :)

@seasparrow @pernesophe @sacredwarrior88 @starsinmylatte @itsfairly

@muzansfangs @harlekin6 @mangiswig @beneathstarryskies

@that-goth-bisexual @hunnie-lily, @bleach-your-panties

@bleachbrainrotbro @kr0wu @stygianoir @kenpachisbrat

@lees-chaotic-brain @actuallysaiyan @hellkaiserinphoenix

@whatshernameis @macchiato-dreaming22 @connorsui

@sitarawrites @j-u-u-z-o @jadedjane @stressed-cryptid

@akatsuki031 @kryptoniteforsale @estarlias

@illusionaryennui @vickkysthings @darkstarlight82

@dreaming-about-seireitei @buttercupbitches @the-eternal-sunflower

All dividers by @/ cafe kitsune Banner by @actuallysaiyan

[maounosekai]

Shūhei: *SCREAMING*

[cryinglittlepeople]

late night shuuzuru doodle bc I haven't drawn shuuhei in a hot minute

[alexdrawsbear]

happy birthday Shūhei!!! I hope all of your friends got you really nice gifts! I know Kensei did 🎂

[laughing-moonlight]

[pin-k-ink]

Lieutenant hisagi punishing his captain for not doing the paperwork by making her cockwarm him. He’d make her sit on his cock for hours, slapping her pussy every once in a while when he notices her hand stopped writing

Hisagi Shūhei X Reader

CW: cockwarming, spanking, clit/pussy slapping, soft dom!hisagi, teasing, semi-public sex, captain-lieutenant relationship, praise kink

a/n: god I love how your brain works anon <3

Hisagi was certainly a force to be dealt with when he got mad. It had been a last attempt to get you to finish your work. The deadline had already passed, but you couldn’t care less as you dumped the papers on his desk to go out drinking with Kyoraku.

Ignoring his shouts of your name, you flash-stepped out of the room before Hisagi could snatch you up. You thought you’d escaped his wrath for the day. But you made a terrible mistake.

Your precious lieutenant had been holed up in his office for the last week, trapped with the task of finishing the latest edition of the Seireitei Bulletin.

A stressed Hisagi meant a horny Hisagi.

You couldn’t get in a word of protest before he had dragged you out of the pub and back into your office. He pushed you inside the room, slamming you onto the desk.

His fingers made quick work with the bottom half of your shihakusho, slipping your hakama down your legs before his fingers latched onto the strings of your panties. He didn’t even bother taking them off before he ripped them apart at the seams.

You were about to berate him for ruining yet another pair before he slapped your ass. You yelped, falling across your desk in front of you. His palm flattened over the globe of your ass, soothing the sting before he landed another harsh slap. Another. And another.

You whimpered, bracing yourself on your forearms. His large hand came forward to grip your jaw, turning you towards him so he could place a searing kiss on your lips.

He could taste the sake on you, groaning into your mouth when you bit down on his bottom lip. His other hand snaked around your thigh, deft fingers sliding between your folds to find you all wet and ready for his cock.

He chuckled against your lips before he parted. “I didn’t know my captain was such a degenerate. Does getting your ass spanked by your lieutenant make you wet?”

You craned your neck towards him. “What’s this about, Shuuhei? Is it ‘cause I didn’t do the paperwork?” You smiled teasingly, rubbing your sore ass on his crotch, feeling his hard cock throbbing against your core.

He slapped your ass once more. “Uh uh. None of that. You-‘ his hand fumbled with his obi, untying it and slipping his bottom half off enough to slip his cock out, ‘are going to sit here and find ish signing the rest of the papers.”

Your eyes flitted towards the piles and piles of untouched documents. Groaning, you slumped onto the desk. You shook your hips towards him, eyes watching the way the thick, mushroom head of his cock flushed an angry purple, a pearly bead of precum sitting atop his slit.

His hand slowly fisted himself, and you licked your lips. You knew you were getting out of here without finishing your work, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t tease him a bit more to test your luck.

“Oh come on, Shuuhei. Don’t be like that. I know a couple more things we could be doing instead.”you flashed him a sweet smile, and he internally groaned when your lithe fingers came to part your pussy lips, giving him the perfect view of your glistening cunt.

Your clit throbbed under his gaze, cunt clenching around nothing. He saw it all, and it took all of his willpower to not drop down on his knees and bury his face between your thighs. No, he needed to be strong.

“Nice try.” He pulled a chair from behind him. Sitting down, he pulled you on top of him, impaling you on his cock in one fluid motion. You moaned, head falling back on his shoulder.

You turned your head to pepper kisses on the side of his jaw, teasing his earlobe with your teeth. You tried to circle your hips around for some friction, but Hisagi had a death grip on them.

You felt his left hand grip the fat of your thigh, massaging it before his right hand came down to place a prompt slap on your clit. It was soft, but it made you yelp once more. Hisagi could feel your glare on the side of his face, but he could care less.

He pulled the first paper from the pile, dipping the pen in the ink before placing it in your hand. “Well, what are you waiting for, captain?”

Your eye twitched. “Are you serious?”

He raised a brow while looking down at you. “Do I look like I’m joking?”

You grumbled, giving up. You signed the first paper with ease. It made you hope that maybe you could get through all these papers in a few minutes. You didn’t account for your beloved lieutenant (more like the devil incarnated) to make it difficult for you.

He shifted in his seat during the 12th paper. His cock shifting inside you along with him. It was pressed up against your g-spot now. You knew he did it on purpose. Leave it to him to make even this, difficult for you.

His hands handy left your thigh, they ran up and down, occasionally squeezing it. His fingers flitted dangerously close to your cunt. Your clit hadn’t stopped throbbing, and you grew more wet as the time passed.

Hisagi felt it, your wetness pooling around his shaft, it gathered at the base until he felt some of it trickle down his balls. God, he wanted to fuck you so bad.

Unaware of his internal turmoil, you continued with your work, growing used to have him inside of you. You were almost done, the majority of the papers lay on the far end of your desk, your elegant signature adorning every single one.

Hisagi noticed. He’s always admired his captain for adapting to situations so quickly and easily. He didn’t realize you’d be so quick to get used to this as well.

No, he wasn’t going to just sit here and make this easy for you. This was supposed to be your punishment, for abusing your authority to get him to do your half of the paperwork.

He knew you didn’t mean anything bad by it. It’s just, he’s also been stuck with work for almost a week. That meant a week had gone by without him tasting your pussy. A week had gone by without him fucking your delicious cunt. Of course he’d grab this opportunity by the horns.

He wanted to get this over with so he could actually fuck you, but he certainly wasn’t going to let you get off this easy. Literally.

His fingers snaked close towards your sopping cunt. Index and middle finger settling on top of your wet and sensitive clit. Your breath hitched as you jumped on his lap.

His cock moved deliciously inside you, and you swore you felt it twitch. Your hand paused once more, not knowing whether you wanted to let him keep rubbing your clit for you, or take his hand off of you so you could get these hellish papers over with.

You really needed to talk to Head Captain Yamamoto about the ungodly amount of paperwork. You were broken out of your thoughts when Hisagi slapped your clit, a moan escaping his lips when he felt you tighten around him.

“Don’t stop. Keep working.” He whispered in your ear. You huffed, thighs closing around his hand to stop him from moving his fingers.

“I better get rewarded for this.” Hisagi chuckled, his hands wrenching your thighs apart.

“Of course, my love. As soon as you finish, you’ll get your reward.” That certainly spurred you on. Ignoring the splotch of ink on the previous paper scribbled with your unintelligible signature, you quickly moved onto the next one.

Hisagi leaned down to brush your hair out the way, his lips planting themselves in the junction of your neck. You leaned your neck to the side, humming lightly as his kisses traveled over to your shoulder.

His fingers were getting dangerously close to your clit once more, and his cock twitched inside you in anticipation. He wanted to feel you clench around his again.

Just as his thumb brushed against the hood of your clit, you slammed the last paper onto the desk. “Done!” You exclaimed.

Before you could even look at him, Hisagi had slipped you off of his cock, and placed you on the desk, sending the papers scattering all around the room.

He leaned forward to slip his tongue between your lips for a kiss. His hand worked through the top half of your uniform so he could expose your breasts.

With his fingers twisting a nipple, he angled his cock against your hole, massaging the tip against your clit. “Good girl.” He muttered against your swollen lips. “Now it’s time for your reward.”

[bleach-your-panties]

Okay but Rosie who do you think from the captains, visoreds and lieutenants would do casual dominance?

I almost said "what is casual dominance?" until I remembered that reblog about Draken 😂😂

KENSEI KENSEI KENSEI KENSEI KENSEI

Like that is definitely some shit he would do!

He has a dominant personality, but he also knows when not to do too much, i.e. he wouldn't try to check you in front of everyone and cause a scene.

You know not to act up too much anyway, because he's got something waiting for that ass when you get home.

He seems like the type that likes to spank, and he's got the hands big enough to leave your ass sore, aching, and hot.

"Thought I wasn't paying attention to your little display, huh? Turn over right the fuck now."

ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE

He's gonna play it cool and remain the elegant gentleman that he is, in public. Gotta keep up that 'perfect captain' facade.👌🏼 So you'll go about your regularly scheduled programming with him doing all the things he normally does for you.

Once he gets you alone though, he's pulling out the shibari ropes and yanking you over to the bed.

He doesn't care about you acting like a brat because he knows how to fix you right up.

Once your hands are tied tight above your head, he'll pull out the Hitachi wand (who the hell bought him that? SHINJI.) and set it on the highest setting before pushing it between your open legs.

"Gonna make you sing a sweet song for me, angel."

IZURU IZURU IZURU IZURU IZURU

He's gonna completely turn his head, act like he didn't see shit, and wrap a (possessive) arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his side.

He's a switch, anyway, and he can switch in rapid succession. You'll go from getting showered in compliments, hand-written poems, and soft, gentle touches to kneeling on the floor of your bedroom with his hand on the back of your neck, keeping your face pressed against his thigh as you try to slip his cockhead into your mouth. And you'd better not dare raise your head, either - until he tells you to.

"You've been acting a little naughty today, bluebell. Do you really think that you deserve to suck my cock right now?"

He's pulling out the shibari ropes as well and he's gonna tie your legs behind your head while he eats you out.

He probably got that shit from Rose in the first place, you know he follows behind his captain dutifully.

SHINJI SHINJI SHINJI SHINJI SHINJI

He's a tease himself, so he'll gladly play long.

He'd never disrespect you in any way and if you start acting bratty he'll just grin that famous multi-tooth grin and make a joke towards himself, you, or the situation at hand.

Once you're alone, you already know you're in for it when he shirks off his captain's haori and runs his tongue over his lips.

Hours later, you're writhing on the bed while he slides his long, fat tongue between your folds, nudging your clit with the ball of his tongue bar.

No doubt he has one of those vibrating ones as well.

"Had enough? Nah, I don't think you have, darlin'."

SHUUHEI SHUUHEI SHUUHEI SHUUHEI SHUUHEI

He's a pookie poo, so of course he will continue to be chivalrous and open doors, jars, reach high things for you - hell, even help you lace your shoes or adjust your shihakusho if you get ruffled throughout the day.

Even when you get home, he'll be the same way, until he suddenly remembers that "flirtatious" wave you gave a fellow male squad member and the way said male's cheeks flushed before his eyes trailed subtly over your figure.

In the next second your thighs are pressed against your ears while he holds you open with those strong, muscled arms.

His dick is stuffed in you to the hilt, yet he's pressing the softest kisses to your cheeks, forehead, and lips while moaning your name softly.

"Don't try to make me jealous, sugar. You know I go crazy when you give attention to any other man but me."

[irlkisukeurahara]

Ichigo laughing his fucking ass off about Shuuhei's 69 tattoo. Shuuhei extremely confused and eventually Ichigo explains. Shuuhei is flustered and startled about it cause he's a dork as he tries to justify Kensei's 69 design. Meanwhile Kensei in the background is just like "nice."

[gallusrostromegalus]

Is Tousen prescriptivist or descriptivist? As a librarian, he would certainly have strong opinions about it. For that matter, do any other characters have a notable stance on the topic?

For those of you who are not friends with linguistics nerds:

It is two truths largely universally acknowledged that 1. Words and Gramatical conventions mean specific things and 2. Language changes over time. Perscriptivisim is the perspective that WE HAVE RULES ABOUT LANGUAGE, DAMMIT. They have a point- for a lot of things we use words for like legal documents, manufacturing instructions, and medical research- Precision is KEY. But it isn't very flexible and doesn't account for some of the nuances of language. Descriptivism is a stance that is a bit more akin to your stoner buddy going "What even ARE words?". They have a point- language is, at it's core, a massive cooperative game of make-believe. But it'd not very helpful when you need to be clear about your meaning.

This can make editing... difficult.

Kaname had strong opinions on it when he was a librarian that have only gotten more insane and intense since becoming Editor-In-Chief of the Gotei-13's newspaper, but true to fashion, has managed to pick a position that pisses off everyone.

He's a Topical Perscriptivist.

There is a Meticulously updated and catalogued database of shifts in word usage, slang and novel grammatical structures. It's an incredible academic resource, and a helpful living translation document in the Gotei-13 where the last time the division policies got updated was in the Meji era. He's working on a mobile version for the newfangled 'smart' communicators. It's an incredibly useful tool!

Kaname pisses people off by using it to be a persnickety little shit about the grammatical rules of linguistic conventions invented last week.

"You know, if you want to annoy him back, you can try hosing your boss back with the constant stream of madness from the internet!" Keigo suggested to Shuuhei once. "There's a fun new term for throwing something real hard that could use an offi- You're kidding."

Shuuhei shook his head, handing the Official Conjugation of Yeet Document from the 9th division's Database of Current Linguistics to Keigo. "The Captain had this drawn up within an hour of the term hitting the 10th Division reports page. It's got a regular Perfect Tense, but Irregular and different Imperative, Continuous and Conditional tenses for maximum confusion."

"...That motherfucker." Keigo groaned, looking over the conjugation tables. "...I yeet, He yeets, we yote, I had yeeted, she had been yote, they will have been yet- Its so stupid but it makes so much intuitive sense! It's the perfect joke conjugation for a joke word!"

"That's why he's The Captain." Shuuhei nodded.

"I thought he was captain because he beat the crap out of Mugurama-san for the job? Twice?"

"Listen here you little shit-"