#So I chose her and like Vaughn she's one I never married but did like a ton

[prijune]

Orange🍊

[dilkirani]

I’d marry you again (& again)

Five times FitzSimmons get married and the one time it sticks.

thanks to @itsavolcano​ for the beta and @grapehyasynth​ for the brainstorming help!! (shoutout to her for the Vegas section!)

Read at AO3! or below:

++

i.

The forecast predicts rain, just as Fitz had insisted it would, but Jemma silences him with an arched eyebrow before he can say anything. “It doesn’t count as a curse if we chose to have an outdoor wedding in Scotland and it rains, Fitz. This was a statistical likelihood.”  

“I said that one time,” he grouses, but underneath his words are only affection and happiness.

Jemma walks over and sits on his lap, curling into him. “I need to get ready,” she murmurs, and he shakes his head, wrapping his arms more tightly around her. She laughs, but doesn’t actually make an effort to leave.

Caught in a perpetual cycle of saving the world left little time for wedding planning, so his mother and Jemma’s parents had taken over. When they arrived in Glasgow, they’d found themselves relegated to following everyone else’s orders. It’s not necessarily the wedding they would have chosen, but he can’t be anything but extraordinarily grateful to be here. If Jemma’s dress is a bit frillier than she would have liked, the decor more excessive than necessary, the bouquets a little gaudy, neither of them even think to complain. They know more than most that reaching this point was never guaranteed.

Still, he relishes the momentary quiet of the morning, the stolen minutes he’s allowed to spend with Jemma, and he can’t help wishing it could stay this way, just the two of them, for awhile longer.

“I love you so much,” she sighs, her breath feathering across his neck. He dips his head to kiss her in response, and it’s slow and reverent in a way they are so rarely allowed to be.

They reluctantly disentangle when Daisy knocks seconds later, having been commanded to retrieve Jemma.

“I’ll see you soon,” Jemma promises, and he holds her words deep inside because it’s the only way he can let her go.

++

He’d wanted them to write their own vows—the only part of the wedding they had any real control over—and he’d spent hours thinking of what to say, how to explain what this day meant. But when he’s looking at Jemma in front of him, her wedding ring in the palm of his hand, nothing he’s planned is good enough.

“Jemma,” he says, and her name, the most important word in his vocabulary, is enough to fill his eyes with tears. “I want you to know I...I’ve realized something. The universe can’t stop us. Because we have crossed—” he pauses, seeing Jemma’s eyes very subtly widen, and remembers a significant percentage of the audience, including his mother and her parents, knows nothing of the more classified aspects of their relationship milestones. “—continents,” he finishes. He bites his lip and gently squeezes her fingers. He’s not fully aware of where the words are coming from, only that they’re bubbling out and he’s desperate for her to understand what he’s trying to say.

“We’ve crossed continents, we survived Professor Vaughn’s classes and Sci-Ops and fieldwork we weren’t cleared for, together. And a love like that, that is stronger than any curse.” Somewhere in his periphery, he can hear laughter from the gathered crowd. They will think he’s making a joke or being dramatic, but Jemma smiles tremulously and he knows she’s deciphering what he’s really promising her.

“You and I, we are unstoppable together, and I don’t want to live another day without you. So, Jemma Simmons, I vow to be by your side the whole damn time. I vow to love and cherish you forever.”

He slips the ring onto her finger and she steals a kiss before he can move away. He smiles against her lips and ignores Daisy’s half-hearted slap to his shoulder.

“Leopold James Fitz,” Jemma says, beaming widely at him, “if I had waited for you to propose, we’d never have gotten here.”

“Hey—” he starts to protest, but she laughs and covers his mouth with her hand.

“I’m tired of not being married to you, and I can’t wait to start this part of our lives together. I vow to always be with you, no matter what. You’re my person, and I will love and cherish you forever.” She pulls at the lapel of his jacket, tugging him closer. “So marry me, Fitz.”

He grins, barely waiting for her to slide the ring on to his finger before capturing her mouth in another kiss. “Absolutely,” he whispers.

“I feel like there’s no point in me saying you may kiss now, so whatever,” Mack sighs. “But I’ll still pronounce you husband and wife.”

Fitz draws Jemma back to him amidst cheers, just as the skies open with surprising fury. There’s screaming and a mad dash for the reception hall, but he hardly registers the clamor.

“What’s a little rain when we’ve survived the bottom of the Atlantic?” he asks. Jemma wraps her arms around his neck and he lifts her, twirling her around. Her laughter echoes in his ears, louder than the downpour.

ii.

“It’s not like it really matters, I suppose,” Jemma says one night as they lie tangled together on the twin mattress in their bunk. “Ceremonies aren’t allowed, there aren’t any legal benefits, we’re already living together. We probably…” She stops, blinking back tears from a heartache he knows she’s only recently begun to feel. “We probably wouldn’t be approved for a child even if we put in a request. We’re not exactly popular with the Kree.”

Fitz turns to her and runs a finger along the curve of her face. “But it matters to you,” he says. He hadn’t realized until this moment that it did. He’s often found himself, when he isn’t thinking about everyone and everything they’ve lost or struggling with a time machine he doesn’t believe will actually work, daydreaming about the wedding they could have had. But Jemma has always been more pragmatic, and marriage on the Lighthouse means nothing at all.

“Isn’t that a silly thing to think about?” she asks, and the tremor in her voice causes splinters to dig their way into his heart.

“No,” he reassures her. “Of course it’s not.”

She cries then, unexpectedly, shuddering sobs that echo loudly in their room. At some point, she had stopped crying. If they fell apart at every horror they’d experienced since the world cracked open, they wouldn’t survive. Fitz holds her to him, pressing his lips to her forehead and trying not to be sick as Robin’s words flood his mind.

This is how it will end—with Jemma crying in his arms. He tries to pull himself back. Today is not that day. Today he can love her without losing her. She is real and alive and whole, and today he can save her.

He shifts until he is sitting up, bringing her with him and reaching for a small pouch in his cubby-hole next to the bed. He takes her hand in his and shakes out two rings, smooth and polished, like something from Before.

“Made ‘em with some scrap metal I nicked. I was saving them for…” He can’t say it, but she’ll know—for a mythical day that won’t ever come, when they return to the past and save the world. He’d never believed in a higher power, so how could he believe in a prophecy that set the remains of their team up as saviors? And yet he’d held onto these rings because he hadn’t wanted it to be like this.

Fitz holds her hands and ducks his head until he can meet her eyes. She’s still crying but she smiles at him, soft and trusting.

“I’ve loved you since I was sixteen years old,” he tells her. “There’s no one else I’d rather be trapped in a dystopian hellscape with.”

Jemma laughs and rolls her eyes, and he sneaks a kiss. Everything here is stolen, even these moments that should be their right.

He struggles to remember what people say in weddings, but people don’t have them anymore, and his memories are blurring together. “I promise,” he tries, “to love and respect and support you. I promise to be with you, for better or worse, metrics full of units or none at all, in sickness and in health, until—” His lungs constrict and he breathes through the pain of it, of knowing it has always been until her death. “Forever. I promise I’ll be with you forever.”

Fitz slides the ring onto her finger and she lifts her hand up, the metal shining in the dim light.

“I promise,” she repeats after him, “to love and respect and support you. I promise to be with you, for better or worse, metrics full of units or none at all, in sickness and in health, forever.”

He looks down as she puts his own ring on. It surprises him, seeing it against his skin, new and odd and yet already a part of him.

“Fitz,” she says urgently, and he glances back up at her. “I promise, okay? I promise I’ll be with you forever.”

He knows what she’s trying to tell him, what she’s trying to give him. He wants nothing more than to take her offering, but he doesn’t know how to have faith.

“You’re my husband,” she says, framing his face with her hands and kissing away his tears. “But you’re more than that, too. I’ll always be with you, Fitz.”

He kisses her back, hungrily and greedily. Today she is real and alive and whole, and today his ache for her can be soothed.      

iii.

“I can’t believe we’ve never been to Vegas before!” Jemma giggles, pulling sharply at his arm so he topples into her side.

“Is it honestly that exciting? We don’t gamble or participate in other...seedy activities.”

“We could see a show?” Jemma suggests, although she seems content enough to stay in this club and order increasingly complicated drinks. “I always thought of a Vegas trip as very American. A real cultural experience.”

“It’s too bad Coulson didn’t give us more than one night off. Who knows what sort of American cultural experiences we could have.” If she detects the sarcasm in his voice, she doesn’t respond, just insistently pushes another drink his way.

It might not be his ideal vacation, but they haven’t had a free night in ages, and he can’t complain when Jemma’s warm body is pressed against him, when the worry lines creasing her forehead have smoothed out and she’s giggling like they used to, back when everything was easy.

She kisses his jaw and then slides closer, biting at his ear. He squirms a bit, not quite as comfortable with public displays of affection as she is, although based on the antics of some other couples in this club, her actions could be considered positively family-friendly.  

“Let’s get married,” she whispers, the heat of her exhale fanning across his face.

“Um, wh-what?” he manages, brain stuck somewhere between where her hand is inching up his thigh and the shock of her words, spoken as if she’d merely suggested ordering room service.

“It’s a proper American experience, isn’t it? Going to Vegas and unexpectedly getting married? Oh, do you think we could find an Elvis officiant? Now that would be authentic.”

Fitz realizes he must be a few more beers in than he’d thought, because he can’t think of any compelling counterarguments to Jemma’s reasoning, which rarely happens.

“Okay…” he says, drawing the word out to give him time to think. “You’re sure about this though? This isn’t the alcohol?”

Jemma smiles at him and then straddles his lap in one fluid motion. She tugs him to her by the collar, and her grin is mischievous but her eyes are heart-stoppingly sincere. “Of course I’m sure. I’ve wanted to marry you for ages, and I’m afraid with this whole saving-the-world business, we might never have the opportunity.”

He chews on his lip, considering, although he’s never had the power to deny her. And anyway, she’s right—they know better than anyone the danger of waiting, and he really, truly wants to marry her. He grabs his cell phone from the table and does a quick Google search. He shows her what he thinks is an acceptable result, and she approves with a decidedly non-PG kiss.

++

He hadn’t meant to answer the phone—the shrill ringing had only increased the pounding of his head and he thought he’d rejected the call. Instead, his mother’s voice reverberates in the tiny hotel room, staticky through the speaker.

“Leopold James Fitz, I have been asking you about your wedding plans for ages! I haven’t seen you or Jemma in almost two years, and you have the absolute gall to send me photos of the two of you eloping in Vegas? Vegas, Leopold?”

Fitz groans, pulling a pillow over his face. He vaguely remembers texting his mother a few photos. Drinking apparently turns him into an idiot.

“Hello, Linda!” Jemma pipes up from beside him, sounding remarkably bright and cheery and not at all hungover.

“Oh, hello, Jemma. Please don’t think I’m upset at you, love. I know this harebrained idea must’ve been all Leo’s doing.”

Fitz expects Jemma to correct his mother, but instead she hums noncommittally and smirks at his outraged expression.

“Well, you know how Fitz can be,” she says as he splutters in protest. “He’s so focused once he gets an idea into his head. We’re dreadfully sorry we didn’t tell you, though. What if we plan a nice reception in Glasgow later this year, would that be all right? We haven’t even told my parents yet, and I’m sure they’ll be equally upset.”

He can hear his mother considering before she acquiesces with a sigh. “That’s a lovely idea. Very modern.”

“Wonderful,” Jemma says, snuggling into his side. The feel of her limbs entwined with his leaves him both breathless and content. He’s suddenly aware that this is the first morning he’s woken up next to his wife, and the realization staggers him.

“And of course, congratulations! I must admit I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic, and I’ve been praying for this day since Leo first wrote me about this brilliant girl in his classes. I spent months encouraging him to say something to you, but he was too shy. Kept telling me he couldn’t think of anything clever enough to get your attention. And now I can hardly believe it, but here we are! I’m so very happy for you two.”

Jemma glances up at him, eyes wide in surprise, although he can’t imagine why.

“Thank you, Linda,” she says. “We’ll email you some potential dates, okay?”

“Of course. Love you both.”

“Love you, Mum,” Fitz manages. When he hangs up the phone, Jemma is still staring at him, her expression inscrutable.

“What?” he asks.

“You really spent months trying to get my attention?”

Fitz shrugs. “I always thought it was a bit obvious. Why?”

Jemma shakes her head, eyes softening as she looks at him. “It’s nothing. I just...I’ve always noticed you, Fitz.” She moves until she’s lying on top of him, her head resting against his heart. “I love you so much,” she whispers. “Thank you for agreeing to this.”

He takes her hand in his, their matching wedding bands lining up. His whole body warms at the sight. “What else was I gonna do?” he says, dropping a kiss to her head, but she’s already fallen back asleep.

iv.

Jemma takes his hand, sliding her fingers in between his, and for a moment the horror of their situation fades and he feels the relief that has only ever come from her presence.

“I’ve thought about our wedding a lot,” she whispers. It’s not at all what he’s expecting her to say, and her ability to surprise him after all their years together sends tendrils of warmth through his veins. It’s too dark to see her expression, but he doesn’t need to. He closes his eyes and breathes her in.

“I never thought I’d be that type of person,” Jemma continues, squeezing his hand, the alternating pressure their own Morse code. This is the way she holds his hand when she’s telling him you’re my person. “You were always the romantic one. But I imagined having a small ceremony in the backyard of our cottage in Perthshire. We’d have decorated with fairy lights and flowers, and that’s all we’d need because our home would be so lovely. We could have drinks and all your favorite desserts and half our friends would end up passing out in the living room.”

The drip of a tear off her nose somehow echoes in their hidden closet, despite the cacophony closing in from the outside, and Fitz finds he can’t speak at all. He squeezes her hand back. You’re my person, too.

“I was going to make you wear a kilt,” she laughs. “I thought you’d look so handsome.”

He swallows thickly and draws her into his arms. At this point, there is no need for defensive posturing. There is no reason to prepare. Fighting was destined to get them this far, and this far only. The lifelines on their palms match up, and the truth they’ve fought for so long is this: their love is infinite but their bodies are fragile.

She presses a kiss to his chest and speaks directly to his heart: “I was going to vow to be with you forever, no matter what. But if this is the price for our years together, I wouldn’t change a thing. I hope you know that. So, since this is our last chance: Leopold James Fitz, will you—”

“Jemma,” he chokes. “I—”

But here, they have always been too late.

v.

“This is ridiculous,” Jemma seethes, storming into the lab where he’s finishing up with equipment diagnostics.

“What is it?” he asks, turning to her in concern.

She wipes furiously at the tears on her cheeks, and he can tell by her posture that she’s equally angry at herself. “I know I’m being stupid, and after everything we’ve been through wedding planning should be the easiest thing to survive, but it’s so stressful, and you know, it’s hard finding any vendors with any sort of proper cancellation policy. Is it our fault we work for a spy organization and can’t always predict what threats will arise last minute? We already lost all our deposits from the last time everything fell apart, and I just got off the phone with the venue, and they refuse to rebook us because they think we’re fickle. Fickle, Fitz, as if we knew there’d be a bloody alien invasion a week before our wedding!”

A need for air forces Jemma to stop yelling, and he takes the opportunity to gather her in his arms. “I know,” he soothes, stroking her hair rhythmically until her erratic breathing slows down. “I’m so sorry, Jemma. I know it’s not fair.”

“Why aren’t you more upset by this?” she asks.

He holds her even closer and rests his cheek on the top of her head. “I am upset. I wanted this, too. But mostly I want to be married to you, and we can find another way.”

“A courthouse wedding?” Her voice is subdued, muffled against his shirt.

Fitz steps back and takes her hand, guiding her over to his work station. “I was doing some research for a honeymoon, and it was supposed to be a surprise, but…” He clicks on a folder on his desktop and opens a brochure he’d downloaded the other day.

“The Seychelles?” Jemma’s eyes widen, the corners of her mouth quirking up.

“Yeah, well, we never got the chance. But I noticed this place offers—” he scrolls down until he finds the highlighted paragraph. “—wedding packages. You don’t have to book them far in advance, and we’d only need to bring a few documents.”

Jemma steps closer, skimming through the information. “I’d wanted everyone to be there," she sighs. "But after today, I don’t see it happening. And oh, Fitz...this is absolutely beautiful.” She turns her face towards him, and her smile is enough to make him believe in a universe where anything is possible.

Yeah, he thinks. Beautiful.  

She reaches up, brushing her lips against his. “I’m in. And I’m going to do something with you on that island that will take your breath away.”

He laughs. “I know, I know, we’re going snorkeling.”

Jemma smiles smugly, stepping forward until there’s no space between them. “No,” she says, gazing directly at him and making his heart stutter. “I’m not talking about snorkeling.”

Fitz is not entirely convinced he’ll survive the wedding.

(+ i.)

“Can you believe how beautiful it is today? And you insisted planning an outdoor wedding in Scotland was practically begging for rain. Perhaps we’re not cursed after all.” Jemma is sitting at their breakfast nook, a mug of tea in her hands. The light from the rising sun filters in through the open window, setting her hair ablaze. Fitz is about to tell her how beautiful she looks, but first—

“Ugh, I said that one—”

“You said it more than once, actually.”

“Okay, fine, but I also said we were stronger than any curse. Which you’d know if Kasius hadn’t ruined my proposal.”

“Fitz,” Jemma says, almost sternly, as she sets her tea down and holds a hand out to him. He walks over to stand between her legs and she gazes up at him with an adoration so intense it’s like standing beneath a waterfall.

“Yeah?”

“We’re getting married today.” She reaches up to pull at his shirt and he tips towards her, kissing her and tasting Earl Grey and orange scone. He doesn’t know how many kisses they’ve shared in this lifetime or how many they’ve lived and can’t remember, only that the press of her lips to his is, all these years later, both achingly familiar and intoxicatingly new.

“We’re getting married today,” he agrees. He sits down at her feet, resting his back against the window bench and letting Jemma run her fingers through his hair. He gazes around at the small cottage they’ve made their own, at the fresh flowers and fairy lights serving as wedding decor. It’s simple and beautiful and he thinks, god, I’ve waited my whole life for this. Not just for the wedding, for all of it—their home, the family they’ve created in each other. They spent lifetimes separated or failing to save the world, but all of that pain only led them to this beginning.

“We have at least thirty minutes before my parents inevitably show up two hours ahead of schedule,” Jemma says. Her fingernails scratch playfully at his scalp and he sighs in contentment.

“Mm, any plans?”

He glances up when she doesn’t respond, and her answering smirk is demanding to be kissed off her face. So he does.

++

Fitz and Jemma tiptoe through the living room, where Daisy, Mack, Elena, Hunter, and Bobbi are passed out, sprawled across the floor and all of their furniture. They quietly pile leftover dessert onto a paper plate and sneak back into bed, taking turns with one fork and giggling like it’s fifteen years ago and they’re tipsy in their dorm room after finishing top of all their classes for the semester.

“You looked so good today,” Jemma mumbles, mouth full of cake. “I knew you’d be ridiculously attractive in a kilt.”

“Really? Because you couldn’t wait to get me out of it,” Fitz replies, leaning forward to kiss frosting from the corner of her mouth.

Jemma laughs, unabashed. “As if you were any better. I’ll never find those buttons, and they were beautiful.”

Fitz blushes, apologetic, and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re beautiful,” he says. “Was the wedding everything you wanted?”

“Yes.” She takes a final bite of cake and sets the plate down on her nightstand. “I’m sure I’m being grossly sentimental, but this was the best day of my life.” Jemma lies down, resting her head in his lap and closing her eyes as he softly slides his fingers through her hair.

“Do you ever think about...with all the time jumps, there must be some version of us that never experienced this, right?”

“No,” Fitz says, voice firm. “Everything was always going to lead us here.”

He feels Jemma smile against his leg, can tell from the way the rhythm of her breathing changes that she’s falling asleep. “I don’t think you’re speaking with your usual scientific lack of bias.”

“I don’t care,” he says. “I refuse to believe this wasn’t always our future.”

Jemma reaches up, pulling his hand from her hair and bringing it to her face. She kisses his palm and then rests his hand to her chest, so he can feel the beating of her heart.

“My hopeless romantic,” she sighs.

“Yeah, well, you married me.”

She laughs and he shifts until he’s lying on his side facing her. “I did,” she murmurs. “And I would do it again. I don’t think there could exist a version of me that wouldn’t want to marry you.”

He kisses her forehead, her nose, her cheeks. “I love you,” he whispers. “I can’t wait for our future.”

Jemma smiles against his lips, no longer on the precipice of sleep. She kisses him deeply and draws him towards her until his body rests heavily on top of hers. She holds him tightly, and Fitz forgets all about the past and the future and the mystifying combination of the two, because lying here, tangled up in his wife’s limbs, is the only thing he’s ever needed.

[read-a-like]

Adulting in Romance

I read a ton of fiction about young people. In fandom, that tends to be high school or college AUs. YA fiction is obviously high school. And in romance novels, that tends to mean college. A lot of times even if the characters are supposed to be older, they are living a delayed adolescence where their lives are full of spontaneous messes and big, overwrought feelings. Sometimes that’s great.

But sometimes, you just want to read a book about a goddamn adult. That’s where these recs come in. Regardless of age, the characters in all of these recs read as adults to me. They’re not looking to throw caution to the wind and run off on an adventure. They have jobs they care about. They have lives they chose for themselves. They know their own minds. And those are beautiful things.

This Dance of Days by kianspo  Merlin fic, modern!AU

Arthur overhears some of Merlin’s co-workers gossiping about how he’s going to leave Merlin, which is a surprise to him because he has no plans to do anything of the sort. It’s just that he’s awkward about feelings and somehow asking Merlin to marry him never seemed to matter when they’re happy together the way they are.

Blank Spaces by Cass Lennox 

Vaughn is an assistant curator at an art gallery that’s had a bit of an art heist problem recently. Jonah is an assistant insurance claims investigator. I really love Vaughn in this book. His job and his art are as central to his identity as Vaughn explaining that “if he didn’t like or want to have sex, then he didn’t have to. At all. Ever again, if he so chose. After all, no one was holding a gun to his head about it…And so he had taken sex off the list of things he did.” I had been trying to find an ace romance novel since I had heard about their existence on a podcast, and the first few I tried were sad, lonely books that felt wildly out of place in the romance genre. So I was thrilled to find this one a charming delight.

so this guy walks into a bar… by silvercisturn  Yuri on Ice fic

Yuri and Victor play a game where they pretend to be strangers meeting at a bar for the first time. It goes embarrassingly, hilariously wrong, but it all works out in the end. The thing that really impressed me about this story isn’t that Yuri or Victor outgrow their ridiculousness, because there’s no point in growing up where you suddenly wake up as a responsible, logical, adult. But in this story they’ve grow to know and trust themselves and each other.

Stay by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy 

Hailey is the CEO of a very successful virtual personal assistant start-up. She thinks one of her anonymous clients is super-hot hockey star Matt Eriksson. (She is right about who he is and how hot he is.) Both Hailey and Matt are 30-something divorcees. This is a hockey romance novel in a hockey romance novel series. I’ve read a lot of hockey romance novels, and almost universally they are about the big, strong, famous sports dude. What sets this one apart is Hailey’s career success and it’s wonderful.

[pedroscurls]

Title: Bust! (one-shot)

Character(s): Luke Vaughn and Jamie (original female character)  Summary: Jamie gambles in a game of Blackjack with one of the croupiers named Luke.  Word Count: 3,424 Warning: Just a heavy, heavy make-out session ;) Author’s Note: This is for @may85​!!! Everyone should go and check out her fics. They’re amazinggggg and she writes for most of JDM’s characters! I hope you enjoy this, @may85!!!

(GIF Source: @heartfulloffandoms)

Jamie decided that she needed a night to herself. She was constantly working nonstop and she needed to let loose, have some fun, relax a bit.

And so, she decided to test her luck tonight. There was no hurt in trying to gamble and have a few drinks.

Jamie dressed in her dark red dress that reached just above her knees. The dress clung nicely to her figure, showcasing her curves. When she looked herself over in the full-body mirror, Jamie let out a hesitant sigh. It had been a while since she had a night to herself.

Jamie slipped her thin framed glasses on and messily fixed her hair. It was perfect. She was exuding confidence which was something she needed if she was going to go to a casino.

Once she left her apartment, Jamie took a cab to the most famous Swan casino. She had heard a few stories about how this particular casino had been under surveillance for money laundering, but it didn’t matter. If she was going to go above and beyond, Jamie was going to go to a casino that not many people had the pleasure of visiting.

After paying the cab driver, she climbed out and took a deep breath.

“Have fun and relax,” she mumbled to herself.

Jamie walked inside of the casino, hearing the loud chatter and laughter of the people within the room. She immediately walked to the bar, ordering herself a margarita.

“Thank you,” she whispered to the bartender.

With the drink in hand, Jamie exchanged her money for chips and began walking around the room. A few tables were already full of potential winners, but when her eye caught sight of a man wearing a red button down with a black vest over it, she instantly knew where she was going to spend the rest of her night at.

Jamie took a seat right in front of the man, watching as his eyes puppy-like eyes looked at her. She felt her heart beat against her chest. His eyes were kind and tiresome, but when he smiled, she could have sworn that she would have fallen into a puddle.

His lightly scruffed-beard was tinged with silver and the dimples that flashed in her direction did not go unnoticed. He was handsome.

“Of all the tables to choose from, you chose mine,” he said, his smile dropping for a moment.

“I can easily just get up and walk away if that’ll make you feel better,” Jamie quipped back, bringing her glass of alcohol to her lips to take a sip.

Luke’s eyes followed her lips, narrowing his eyes only briefly. He allowed his gaze to shift to the dress she was wearing, noticing how the dress showcased her curves and her breasts. She didn’t look like the rest of the women that came to the casino.

One way or another, Luke knew that the women that were here usually were here as arm-candy rather than their own personal choice. Instantly, he was intrigued by the woman sitting in front of him.

She looked like she needed a night to de-stress.

“Well, I would hate for you to get up now that you’re sitting here,” he replied.

“Are you afraid I’ll kick your ass in a game of Blackjack?” She grinned.

Luke bit his lower lip, preventing himself from breaking out into a smile. The moment he saw Jamie’s lips turn upwards, he felt a sudden need and hunger that he had never felt before. Not only was she sexy in her dress, but her smile was genuine and kind that he wanted to know more about her.

“How about we gamble something more serious?”

“And what would that be?” Jamie asked.

“Well, first, you have to tell me your name.”

“That depends. Will you tell me yours?”

Luke grinned, “I’m Luke.”

“I’m Jamie,” she responded.

“Perfect. How about you save your money, bring those chips back and exchange it for actual cash, and when I win, you go out to dinner with me tomorrow night,” Luke suggested.

Jamie cleared her throat. When she planned on going out tonight, she was certainly not expecting a handsome man to ask her out on a date.

“You know nothing about me,” she mumbled.

“That’s usually what a date is for, Jamie.”

She cleared her throat. Jamie loved the way her name rolled off his lips. His deep voice made her imagine what it would be like if he just whispered dirty things into her ear.

“What if I win?” Jamie asked.

“I’ll double your money.”

“W – What? Really?”

“Want to take a risk, Jamie?” He smiled, shuffling the cards expertly.

Hesitantly, Jamie nodded, downing the rest of her margarita.

“You know what, I say it’s a bet. Let’s play.”

“All right. One rule. We only play one game.”

“Great because once you double my money, I’m leaving,” she giggled.

Luke smiled to himself, nodding. He began handing out the right amount of cards, staring at her for a moment. He watched as she brought a hand to cover her cards before lifting just the edge of it to look at it.

Luke hesitantly dropped his eyes to his own and kept a poker face. He didn’t need to show her that the odds were in his favor.

After a few minutes, Jamie tapped on the table.

“Hit me,” she said, determined.

“All right,” he smiled, placing the card onto the table.

Jamie looked down at it, biting her lower lip.

It was an antagonizing, long sixty seconds. Luke wanted to know what her cards were. He was at nineteen with two cards and if she had gotten twenty-one, she would have automatically won.

“I guess I’m going to dinner with you,” Jamie finally said.

Luke grinned instantly. Ever since his little girl, Riley, had gotten the surgery she needed, he was much more relaxed and less stressed out. He had been trying to get back to dating, but no woman caught his interest.

Until Jamie walked in.

“If you can wait another hour or so, we can go tonight. You’re too beautiful in that dress for you to go home now,” he admitted.

Jamie immediately blushed, dropping her eyes to her lap. Her confidence was at an all-time-high right now. Maybe she should go out more often.

“You’re just saying that,” she replied.

Luke chuckled quietly, shaking his head. “Meet me out in the front in an hour? I think I have a few ideas on what we can do.”

“Okay… That sounds great,” Jamie responded, the pink hue in her cheeks remaining.

“I’ll see you then, Jamie.”

Jamie was outside waiting just like he asked. She still couldn’t believe that she was about to go out on a late dinner date with a man she just met. Though, as the cold air hit her frame, she shivered instantly and brought her arms around her body to hug herself.

She needed to warm up.

Suddenly, Luke walked towards her. He noticed from afar that she was slightly shivering. He would have to fix that.

“Hey,” he said.

Jamie looked up at him, smiling. “Hi.”

“You cold?” He asked.

“Oh, uh, no I’m fine. Thank you.”

Jamie looked him over. He had changed into a black v-neck and a black leather jacket with his black pants and boots. She didn’t know how it was possible for him to look even more sexy than he did an hour ago.

“Says the woman who’s literally shaking,” he teased, removing his jacket to drape around her. Luke stood in front of her, making sure that the jacket was wrapped sufficiently around her to warm her up.

She looked up at him and smiled, dropping her arms to hold the jacket closer to her body.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“No problem. I’d hate for my date to freeze. Come on. Let’s get out of this cold.” Luke led her to his car, instantly opening her car door for her.

Jamie was surprised. He was such a gentleman and it just made her even more attracted to him. She climbed into the car and buckled her seatbelt, watching as he walked around to climb into the driver’s seat.

“I don’t usually do this,” he said, turning his car on and instantly turning the heat on.

“Do what? Make bets with women for them to go out on a date with you?” Jamie teased.

“Well, yes. I just – It’s been a while since I’ve actually went on a date,” he admitted, pulling out of parking spot.

“You? Are you lying?” Jamie replied. She couldn’t believe him. How could someone like him not have been on a date recently? “Don’t tell me you’re married…”

Luke chuckled, “Well, I was, but not anymore. So, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Okay, so then why haven’t you been on a date? I mean, look at you,” Jamie blushed.

“I’d say this date is going splendid if you’re complimenting me.”

“I’m going to tell you the truth, Luke. You’re a handsome man. Now, if you’re pulling my leg here and –”

“My daughter was sick for quite some time. She’s only six.”

Jamie cleared her throat. She hadn’t thought about him having kids, but oddly enough, she couldn’t help but imagine Luke holding a little girl in his arms, reading her a bedtime story.

“I’m sorry…” She whispered.

“She’s okay now. Her name’s Riley. My little princess,” he smiled.

Jamie glanced out the window, watching the passing cars nearby. She wondered where he was going to take her. She didn’t know if she hungry, but she didn’t mind spending more time with him.

Luke slowly pulled into a small diner. He parked the car and immediately walked around to help Jamie out of the car. He extended a hand for her and smiled to himself, watching as her hand slipped into his own.

Helping her up, Luke felt her stumble forwards and his hands immediately went to her hips. He wanted nothing more than to run his hands along her curves to her breasts and devour her lips with his own, but he wanted, no needed, to be a gentleman.

Luke wasn’t young anymore. He couldn’t do one-night stands and certainly not to someone who had a smile like Jamie’s.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Sorry. I’m a bit clumsy,” Jamie whispered, her hands resting on his broad chest. She leaned into him once she felt his strong hands resting on her hips.

“I thought it was the alcohol,” he teased.

“Hey, I can handle my alcohol. Besides, it was one drink.”

Luke chuckled, pulling away from her to lead her to the entrance of the diner. However, he moved his hand from her hip to her lower back, his hand itching to go lower to grasp her backside.

He held the door open for her, allowing her to walk through. She instantly sat at one of the booths, removing his jacket to set aside. It gave him another glimpse of how perfect the dress looked on her.

Once the waiter set down the menus onto the table, he pulled out a notepad and smiled politely.

“Can I get you two started on anything to drink?”

“Water is fine with me,” Jamie said, glancing over at Luke once he sat across from her.

“Water for me too. Thank you.”

As the waiter left, Jamie immediately dropped her eyes to the menu. She didn’t want Luke knowing that she was staring at him.

“Do you know what you’d like to eat?” Luke asked.

“Maybe a sandwich with fries. I’m not too hungry, but I don’t mind leftovers to bring home. What about you?”

“Maybe a burger. I haven’t had anything to eat yet, so I’m starving.”

“Well, we can share if you want more,” Jamie suggested.

“That’s nice of you. Thanks, Jamie.”

The waiter walked back to the table with their glasses of water, watching Luke shut his menu. It was a universal sign that they were ready to order.

“Are you two ready?” He asked.

Luke nodded and motioned for Jamie to tell the younger man what she would like to eat.

“Um, may I get the chicken sandwich with fries?”

“Of course, ma’am. And for you, sir?”

“Bacon cheeseburger with fries as well. Thank you.”

The waiter smiled, grabbing their menus and walking away from their table to give their order to the chef.

Jamie bit her lower lip, running a hand absently along her bare arm. She felt slightly exposed and overdressed in this diner, but as she glanced around, it looked a bit empty aside from a few stragglers at the main counter.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Luke said, sipping on his water.

“What would you like to know?”

“Why the casino? Not many women go to Swan’s to gamble.”

“Figured I’d need to let loose and do something I’ve never done. I don’t usually go to casinos. I usually spend my time relaxing with a glass of wine while watching a movie,” she admitted.

“Sounds like you made the right choice tonight,” he smiled.

“Oh, yeah? How so?”

“Well, you saved money and you’re out on a date. I’d say that’s pretty damn good on my end.”

Jamie giggled, shaking her head. “If you say so, Luke. What about you, though? How long have you been working at the Swan?”

“Long, long time. The Pope… We go way back.”

“Ah…” Jamie mumbled, biting her lower lip.

“I’m sure you’ve heard rumors, but I wasn’t part of it. I didn’t want to go into that lifestyle when I had a six-year old daughter. I didn’t want her growing up to hate me,” Luke admitted.

“She’s lucky to have you as a father, Luke. I’m sure you’re there for her when she needs you.”

“I try to be. She’s my world, you know? After she was born, my entire outlook on life changed.”

Jamie smiled to herself. Not only was he a gentleman, but he was also a loving, sweet father? God, she hoped that this would turn out into something bigger than she would have imagined.

“Not to break the moment or anything, but you’re – Uh, it’s sweet the way you talk about her,” Jamie responded.

Luke smiled, “Thank you. Can I say something?”

“Sure, yeah…”

“You’ve got the prettiest, most genuine smile I’ve ever seen. I’m sure you can light the room with your smile alone, Jamie,” he admitted.

Once more, Jamie blushed. She dropped her eyes, trying to cover her face from him. Though, he simply extended a hand to rest on her wrist, slowly pulling it from her face.

“Hey…” He said.

Jamie looked up, shifting her glasses further onto the bridge of her nose. “I’m sorry. I’m just – Look at you.”

“Yeah, but look at you,” Luke replied instantly.

Jamie was broken out of her trance when the waiter set their food down on the table. She stared into Luke’s eyes, finding herself swimming in the pools of his brown orbs.

“We should eat,” she mumbled.

“All right, but I’m not going to let this conversation go.”

After their dinner, Jamie glanced at the clock. It was almost one o’clock in the morning and she didn’t realize how long they had stayed at the diner. He was attractive and funny, but he was also someone that Jamie found she could talk to.

It was odd how easily it was for her to talk to him about her life.

The ride back to her apartment was quiet and his hand rested against the armrest that separated the two of them. Jamie made the mistake of accidentally placing it there as well and just as she was going to pull away, Luke rested a hand on her own.

She looked up at him, noticing that his eyes remained on the empty road. It almost seemed too natural and normal for their hands to be interlaced with one another.

“I had a nice time, Jamie,” he spoke.

“Me too, Luke.”

“Good thing you took that risk,” he chuckled.

“Oh yeah. I’m not usually one to actually go out there and do something like that, but I’m glad I did,” Jamie smiled.

Once Luke pulled up to her apartment, he parked his car at the curb and helped her out once more. Her jacket remained around her shoulders and as they ascended the stairs to her door, Luke slowly turned her around.

Jamie bit her lower lip, looking up at him. She didn’t know how she could handle herself if she was this close to him, but she found herself not being able to move.

“I – Uh, I have to get the door…” Jamie whispered, turning around to unlock the door.

Though, Luke turned her around once more and cupped her cheek lightly. He may not enter her home on the first date, but that didn’t mean he had any rules against kissing on the first date.

“I’d like to see you again,” he whispered, slowly inching his way closer to her.

“I’d like that too…” Jamie responded.

“Um, may I kiss you?” Luke asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know. Do you want to take a risk and find out?” Jamie grinned teasingly.

Luke chuckled, leaning forward and pressing his lips against hers. Instantly, he growled at how smooth and soft her lips were against his own. His other hand dropped to her hip as the other ran down her cheek to lightly rest on her throat.

Jamie gasped once his lips pressed against hers. She wasn’t expecting him to do it. She leaned against him, her hands resting on his chest as she allowed her lips to slowly move against his. His beard against her skin was something she wanted to feel more of.

Luke followed her movements for a moment. He moved his lips in sync with her own, his hand running up along her curves. He groaned against her lips, pushing her against her door. Luke’s lips parted only briefly, flicking his tongue out to part her own.

Jamie moaned quietly, trying her best to remain quiet. They were still out in the open on the front doorstep of her apartment and she didn’t want any of her nosey neighbors to walk out of their homes to find her making out with some man they have never seen before.

Though, she parted her lips to accommodate his tongue. He flicked it against the roof of her mouth, teasing her slowly. He smiled against her once he heard her moan escaping her lips. Luke knew the minute she smiled at him that he was going to want more and now that he was here, kissing her, he didn’t know if he was moving too fast.

With the hand on her throat, Luke slowly tipped her head back, his lips moving away from hers to gently run along her jawline. She whimpered, which was the perfect reaction he was looking for.

Jamie shut her eyes, the feeling of his beard scratching along her neck made all her hot spots that littered along that area even more sensitive.

Luke smiled, nipping at her soft skin. He slowly lowered himself to place kisses along her collarbone and down to her chest, stopping just above the fabric of her dress. He grunted, pulling back and looking down at her.

She looked like she was out of breath and Luke smiled, leaning down to peck her lips.

Jamie smiled to herself, trying to regain her composure.

“Luke…”

“I’m seeing you again. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for our date,” he interrupted.

“Date?”

“That’s what we gambled on, remember?”

“But I thought –”

“You thought wrong,” Luke smiled.

Jamie laughed quietly, shaking her head. When she looked up at him with a smile lining her lips, Luke couldn’t help but cup her cheek to run his thumb along her lower lip.

“Your smile…” He trailed off.

“What?”

“Like I said earlier, you’ve got a smile that could light up a room, Jamie.”

Jamie bit her lower lip, shutting her eyes when he pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night…” Luke whispered, pulling away and walking down the steps to his car.

Jamie smiled to herself and stepped into her apartment, shutting the door. She grinned all the way to her bedroom. She looked herself over in the mirror and noticed that she was still wearing his jacket.

She smiled; she was going to see him tomorrow night anyway.

And Jamie couldn’t wait.

[prideguynews]

The Journey to Fatherhood for 1 Inspiring Homosexual Pair / Johnny and Sebastian, New York

Starting to be dad and mom was a prolonged time purpose for each Johnny and Sebastian. The pair has been jointly for much more than eleven several years and have been lawfully married in New York 7 several years ago on the first working day very same-sex marriage was legalized.

“If you develop up with a great relatives that is supportive and shows unconditional appreciate,” suggests Sebastian, “naturally, that knowledge is a little something you want to go on.” But that upbringing was not definitely the scenario for each gentlemen. Johnny’s Korean dad and mom had an immensely complicated time accepting him just after he arrived out in high college, disowning him for a amount of several years because of to spiritual beliefs and traditional cultural views. So exactly where did this burning motivation to elevate a relatives occur from?

“All all those several years of struggling with dad and mom who would not take a homosexual son definitely helped outline and encourage my individual motivation to be a parent,” suggests Johnny. “I’ve prolonged occur to conditions with my parents’ flaws and limited worldview. Coping with relatives disapproval helped me outline and deeply understand how I can do a greater job and it informed my strong emotions about right parenting.

The even larger question for Johnny and Sebastian was not no matter if they’d have a child but how they would go about obtaining just one.

Johnny, age 37, is a serious estate broker for the major brokerage in New York. Sebastian, age 40, is an investment decision banker. With four nieces and nephews all less than the age of three, “baby fever started to sprout in our relatives and we realized that it was time for us to get started the procedure.” For Sebastian there was no question, he desired to try out surrogacy first.  While he was open to adoption, he just did not like the thought of obtaining his life scrutinized and judged by an outdoors social gathering who would subjectively identify no matter if he was healthy to be a father. So they embarked on their surrogacy journey intentionally and just after a great deal of investigation and consideration.

Now, Sebastian and Johnny feel blessed to have a healthy and delighted 7-7 days-outdated child boy named Vaughn Everett Barleben-Lee and just one eight-12 months-outdated pet named Joey comprehensive their quick relatives.

Their route to fatherhood basically started 3 several years ago and introduced them on an emotionally taxing and high-priced journey as a result of extreme, complicated discussions centered on acquiring the correct egg donor and then acquiring paired with a surrogate. They did not understand that what they would also had to cope with was a number of unsuccessful tries at acquiring pregnant, a number of donors and two different surrogates. “Our knowledge, even though not exclusive, was especially complicated simply because we had to go as a result of 3 different egg donors and two different surrogates, and we experimented with four situations ahead of we have been finally in a position to get pregnant and have our son.”

Stick to @Johnny, @vaughnblee, & @Sebastian

one. How did you meet up with?

We fulfilled in 2007 as a result of mutual pals at Roxy nightclub, which is an epic club in NYC that is no extended in existence, sad to say. “I was a just one night time stand!” Sebastian suggests laughingly. “Johnny had just damaged up with an ex and I guess I was his rebound that night time.” “Yes, it is legitimate,” suggests Johnny, and a several months later I transpired to bump into Sebastian yet again and understood how substantially I liked him and how untimely I had been. So I had to grovel and work incredibly tricky for Sebastian’s forgiveness.”

Part of the purpose why we related was simply because of our mutual desire in getting to be dad and mom. We have been each incredibly dedicated to the thought and uncovered out that we had a good deal of the very same values.

2. How did the journey as a result of surrogacy start?

We started studying surrogacy all over the time we bought married. We did not want to start the procedure correct absent and have been dedicated to experiencing our life as a married pair for at least a several several years ahead of we grew to become dad and mom. Nevertheless, we desired to find out as substantially as we could ahead of determining on a route to parenthood. At first, we seemed into international surrogacy in places like India and Thailand, exactly where it seemed that price ranges have been substantially less costly. Right here in the US, we had heard that surrogacy can price tag upwards of 200,000USD, which is not a modest amount. Unfortunately, just after performing some investigation we uncovered that lots of of these international marketplaces had ever-changing guidelines that prohibited LGBT men and women from accessing surrogacy in that state. The deficiency of protections for their rights and their investment decision certain them that while the US was an high-priced solution, it was the safest and most secure substitute for them.

three. Were your family members supportive of your determination to be dad and mom?

Sebastian is an only kid, raised by his mom in Germany. She has been immensely supportive of our marriage and of our motivation to be dad and mom. Johnny’s dad and mom are substantially much more traditional and they have been not incredibly supportive of the thought of two gentlemen increasing a child. They did not want a kid to be brought into the planet without having a mom and felt uncomfortable with the thought of homosexual gentlemen getting the sole caretakers of their grandchild. Johnny’s siblings each have children of their individual, and they have been incredibly thrilled and delighted to hear that our relatives would be increasing.

four. What have been your largest concerns about increasing a relatives?

There have been a amount of matters we have been fearful about as we commenced this procedure. Of training course, the uncertainty of how matters might switch out and how this will improve our life was a large problem and it is a fret that we nevertheless have and grapple with currently. Sebastian and I have been exceptionally lucky to have built a life that is comprehensive of great folks and incredible experiences. We’ve traveled to lots of superb places and have solid meaningful friendships that indicate a great deal to us. But most of these friendships are with folks who do not have kids. So we fearful about how this improve would effects our social life. Would we reduce pals in the procedure? We also did not have any assurances as to how the surrogacy procedure would all switch out. There have been no guarantees that surrogacy would work therefore, we realized we have been having a gamble.

We have been well prepared financially, mentally and emotionally – but we had no thought if we would be very good dads. But with that reported, we have been incredibly thrilled and dedicated to getting fathers and we realized that our appreciate was adequate to develop a great residence for our kid.

5. Did you work with an agency? How did you decide on them?

Of course, we decided to work with an agency known as, Very simple Surrogacy, based in Dallas Texas. We chose them just after performing independent investigation with the enable of MenHavingBabies.org

six. How did you discover your surrogate?

Very simple Surrogacy did an incredible job pairing us with our surrogate. In truth, they had alternatives for us to select from almost quickly. We have been in a position to job interview a handful of alternatives, and we uncovered just one that we definitely related with. She was only in a position to work with us for two tries at acquiring pregnant and then she moved to Mississippi, exactly where the surrogacy guidelines are not favorable. As a result, we had to discover a different surrogate just after a time period of time, but our agency was in a position to pair us with a new solution correct absent.

seven. How did you discover your donor and did you have a likelihood to meet up with her?

We uncovered our donor as a result of an agency as nicely. We basically had the misfortune of obtaining to discover various different donors. The purpose getting, we first picked a donor who made a very low amount of eggs, and just after they have been fertilized and genetically tested for viability, we uncovered that we only had just one embryo that was viable for transfer to our surrogate. This just one embryo was transferred and did not deliver a pregnancy.

Our health practitioner recommended that we discover a new donor because of to the weak final result, so we went as a result of the procedure yet again from scratch and uncovered a different donor. Unfortunately, the outcomes of our 2nd attempt have been equivalent to the first. It took four situations for us to finally discover a donor who gifted us with a number of viable embryos. We transferred two and have been basically pregnant with twins at first. Unfortunately, just one of our embryos unsuccessful to develop just after 7 days eight, but we have been lucky to have just one delighted and healthy fantastic little boy 9 months later.

We never ever had a likelihood to meet up with our donor, but we did get to converse with her. We felt that she had lots of of the qualities that we had hoped to discover. She was sensible, formidable, really and most importantly she had donated eggs in the past and had made a high produce of eggs. After our lots of prior unsuccessful tries, this very last trait of her successful track document was incredibly essential to us.

We have been in a position to have an “open donation”, which suggests that in the upcoming, our son will be in a position to look up his donor, need to he ever feel the will need to meet up with her and discover out much more particulars.

eight. What did you find out as a result of the procedure that astonished you?

We went as a result of this procedure with some false preconceived strategies. Our two surrogates have been not uneducated, destitute girls seeking to make quickly dollars, which is what we had initially thought. We have been incredibly pleasantly astonished to find out that most surrogates are center-profits girls, often with higher education educations and a cozy life. Their motivation to be a surrogate is born generally out of their benevolent motivation to enable couples who are unable to have children. They also loved getting pregnant on their own, and so they want to have that knowledge yet again still they are not seeking to raise the measurement of their individual family members.

We did not count on to finally develop a bond and turn into pals with our surrogate, which is what ended up happening. We watch our surrogate as a saint from heaven, and she was so exceptionally supportive, beneficial and beneficial in the course of the total procedure.

9. What would you have performed in different ways?

We would have picked a donor with a former track document correct from the start. In hindsight, we feel that we could have avoided lots of of the unsuccessful pregnancy tries, had we selected a little bit much more correctly.

10. What assistance would you give to other couples or homosexual gentlemen seeking to start a relatives?

The very best assistance I can give is- go for it! If you have the correct motivation, then getting a father is an incredible reward.  No matter whether you try out surrogacy or adoption, there is no “right way”. It all is dependent on what is effective very best for you and your relatives. Perseverance is essential. Even in the very best scenario circumstance, surrogacy and adoption get a when. It is an emotionally taxing journey. Be well prepared to get drained and worn out- but in the stop, it will all be worthy of it.

eleven. How has life been just after the birth of your child?

Lifetime has been incredible. We appreciate just about every working day and just about every second. Observing our son develop and develop is a reward. My partner and I have new troubles and have to make some large adjustments in our life and in our upcoming designs, but it is a little something we do willingly and gladly. We’ve uncovered that our pals have not turned absent. In truth, they have been deeply engaged and incredibly supportive. Our house is loaded with website visitors and nicely-wishers now. It is a delighted, chaotic but incredibly loving natural environment.

12. Are you seeking to have a 2nd kid?

Of course, we hope to try out yet again this August with the very same surrogate. She has agreed to work with us yet again.

Look at their story here 

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