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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years

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Only One

Ateez CEO!Choi San x Reader Summary: Growing up, San was the outcast, the nerd. You were the only one that believed in him. He wants nothing more than to show you the love you showed him. Word Count: 7k+ Warnings: CEO AU, another brief ateez pairing, fem!reader, high school bullies, graphic depictions of bullying, nerd troupe, failed relationships, stalker vibes, creepy man vibes, angst, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: Gif not mine i found it on pinterest and screamed he looks so good. also obviously this is a work of fiction and does not reflect anyone irl.

ALSO WHY CANT I WRITE SHORT FICS ANYMORE SOD:ASFDJdfnlkasdfpoeon

It's 12 am. I hope i dont have that many typos. I'll fix it in the morning. i hope yallz enjoy and spontaneously combust because I feel like I am

Listen to Only One by Yellow Card

It's unbelievable how quickly someone's mood, mentality, and expression can change so quickly with one single image.

Sometimes a smell can take you somewhere you haven't been in so long, and a sound can make you remember things you didn't know was still inside your mind.

For San, it was the sight of a face he hadn't seen for years that made him freeze and uncoil all the tension he hadn't realized was coiled up in his shoulders.

He had forgotten how infuriated he was literally seconds ago with the information he got from a call. How annoyed he was that he had to get the suit he was wearing tailored because it didn't fit him well. How ansty he was because of his deal that would keep opening up no matter how many times he tried to seal it in.

For a moment, he was utterly speechless that in the ground floor of his 50 floored building, in the café, working at the counter, smiling with sunshine against a face he had only dreamed about, was you.

And for the first time in nine years, San was back in high school, feeling like a fish out of water.

It all started when you came running into the vacant classroom he had been doing homework in. He was pretty shocked by the sudden ruckus and watched as you frantically ran to the side of the room, behind a bookshelf, beside a sliding window. It's not that you weren't allowed in the room, it's just that normally, no one hung around this room in particular during this time. He watched as you cradled what appeared to be a orange cat and gave him a look. You were clearly distressed as you placed a finger over your lips.

San was too stunned to do anything but look at you.

He began to understand why you appeared this way when suddenly a teacher holding a stick and stern face walked into the room. He knew him; he was his PE teacher.

"Ah, Choi San," he says, knit brows not relaxing at all, "did a girl run in here holding a cat?" He proceed to angrily spit out what was clearly your name and says, "I caught her feeding this feral cat. I had her put it in a cage so I could take it to the pound, but the next thing I knew, the cat was gone. I saw her walking away so I called out to her."

San tilted his face and scratched his hair, as to give you a sneaky look. You shook your head at him, begging for his silence.

His teacher continued, "The next thing I knew was I was walking over to her, she started running, and then I started running."

San turned back to his teacher and saw how disrespected he looked. He was infamous for making his students run laps around the field if they did something he didn't approve off. San even heard sometimes he used his stick against them.

So, San began to motion that you open the window and run out. He had done it in a way that looked like he was stretching though. He was relieved you caught on.

"I'm not sure, sir," San replied, mid stretching, "I don't know who she is."

This wasn't a lie.

You were able to open the window at this point.

His PE teacher looked extremely suspicious. He crossed his arms and gave San a look, "really?" He said that in a manner that was completely unconvinced. "I saw her run into this room."

San begins to get nervous, but he couldn't back out now, lest he be running the laps with you. He shakes his head as he prays you manage to jump out the window quick enough and run away. It wasn't like you were on the second floor or anything. In fact you were near the school entrance and could quickly make a run for it.

San gives a dumb look, which might have actually been too dumb, now that he thinks of it, then plays it off by acting scared, "sir, I think you might have seen a ghost or something."

You had one foot out of the window at this point. San's heart was beating against his chest. His PE teacher looked absolutely livid, "no, you brat, I'm sure I saw her come in here!"

San suddenly got the inkling he might go around the room and search for you, so the next thing he does is shoot up his seat and raise his hand, "I really didn't see anyone. If you want, I can help you look around."

His teacher glares at him.

San makes a move near you, just so he can pretend he's going to look under the teacher's table. He then moves past you and goes to the classroom's cabinet where all the cleaning supplies were stored. He quickly opens it and closes it, turning around, seeing that you were nearly out of the room.

He gives a look around and shrugs, "Maybe she went in the other room, sir."

Literally the moment his teacher decides to walk forward was the moment you managed to get out and run away.

"What was that sound?" his teacher demands.

San shakes his head and moved towards his teacher who was looking out the open window, "there are some people playing outside."

"Was this window open the whole time?" his teacher turns to San.

He nods, "I opened it."

"Why?"

"... I... farted."

His teacher freezes then sighs, "well, you should have closed it after a few minutes."

He nods his head, "yes, sir, sorry."

It was that moment, San became your person without him knowing it, because the next time he would see the cat thief, it was literally the next day.

San had been running away himself, but not from a teacher, but from Jung Yunho that always made him his personal ATM, activated by uppercuts.

"I can run faster than you, Choi," Yunho pointed, pissed that San kept backing away from him, as not to get another black eye and scraped shins.

San hands were gripping on his backpack for dear life as he walked away, scared for his life, "Yunho, please, I swear I don't have money."

Yunho chuckles dryly, "what kind of parents don't send their kids money?"

"They forgot," San lies.

Yunho doesn't believe him, but still he clicks his tongue, "how sad. Your parents left you and worked abroad because they don't love you."

San makes the mistake and topples when he unknowingly steps on a rock he didn't know was behind his feet. He doesn't fall over, but it was the perfect moment for Yunho to charge towards him.

It was in his fear that he finally does fall, as San tries to run back and away from his oppressor.

But in a twist of fate, Yunho gets thrown down by a backpack to is face. Someone then comes running towards them in a fit of rage, "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, YUNHO?"

Yunho, who was defeated by a bag full of books, angrily looks back at the one who threw it.

You were honestly much scarier looking than Yunho right now.

"What the hell is your problem?" Yunho fights back, quickly standing up.

San's heart was beating in his chest. You two seemed to know each other, and yet you didn't seem scared of him, which was absolutely mortifying. You could easily get beat by Yunho. You weren't nearly as tall as him, and yet you looked unafraid, "you're messing with my friend, that's my problem?"

Yunho laughs, "this thing?" He turns to San, who still hadn't gotten off the ground and makes a disgusted look, "the skinny pimply face, glasses, and braces kids with no parents?"

"Shut up!" you scream, pointing a finger at him.

Yunho swats it away, enraged.

"What?" you challenge, "are you going to beat me up too? Go ahead, so I have evidence to show the principal and get you expelled so bad no school will ever accept you."

Yunho bursts out into a fit of loud curses that terrifies San and makes you jolt, though you hide it.

Yunho turns to San and spits near him, "stay the fuck out of my sight or I'll kill you next time."

With that, Yunho walks away and you're running towards him.

You look at him with genuine concern and help him up, "are you okay?"

San is unable to reply.

You give him a pitiful expression and run to pick up your bag. You open it on your way back towards him and curse under your breath. You give him a sorry look as you pull out a box that had icing spilling out of the sides, "I'm so sorry. This was supposed to be for you."

San is frozen still.

You release a breath then look at him once over. You shoot out a hand that then pats him down, brushing away the sand that got on him. He winces at this, not expecting it, as you also unknowingly hit some old bruises.

You profusely apologize, "sorry, sorry." You drop your bag, looking at the smushed thing in your hand, "I had gotten you a chocolate cake for not ratting me out yesterday. I looked for you the entire day, but no one seemed to know which class you were in."

He doesn't reply.

You begin to think he can't talk, and would have believed it had you forgotten how well he talked for you yesterday.

"It's okay," San says softly.

He begins to feel extremely conscious by how intently you were looking at him.

"... I don't eat sweets... they're bad for my skin."

"That's not true! Sweets don't--" but you cut yourself off, "well, I mean... I guess if you don't like sweets then I should just get you something else."

San finally looks at you properly for the first time as you introduce yourself to him.

He thinks of this very moment as you greet him and ask him what his order was. San was no longer skinny, or pimply, or wearing glasses, or braces like in that moment, and yet he felt like the same kid on that day, finding it hard to think of words to say.

San was blown away by how it seemed you had gotten even prettier throughout the years, though you had gained some weight, had different hair, and clearly looked more mature.

He looks at your nametag, seeing the neatly printed letters that clearly identify that you are, in fact, you. And yet he wonders if you are a ghost, like how he had lied about all those years ago.

San says your name, half expecting you not to answer or for someone to ask him why he was saying that name when there was no one around.

But then you smile at him and his breath hitches.

"Yes, that's my name," you confirm.

San is dumbfounded, and left feeling as though someone shoved a sock in his mouth.

You look at him inquisitively, flashing another smile. As if reading one of his thoughts that were running through his mind, you tell him, "I just started working here this week."

He felt like dropping dead on the spot because of your smile. Your face felt like home.

San was absolutely winded. His entire body was tingling, and yet he couldn't do anything but stare.

You awkwardly stared back, unsure of what to do.

After a moment too long, you decided to speak up, "would you like to try out our special drink of the week?"

San acts as though he doesn't hear that and uncharacteristically ask, "how have you been?"

You furrow your brows at this, "pardon?"

San begins to panic. Did he ask anything wrong?

He opens his mouth and says softer, "how... have you been?"

You tilt your head, trying to distinguish his question, "how has my day been?" You nod, "pretty good. Thank you for asking, sir."

Sir... why would you... well, you were working at the moment.

"You don't have to call me sir," San says.

You look at him, as if he had asked the impossible, then you break into a chuckle, "I don't think that would be very appropriate." You divert the conversation, "so, would that be the special? Or something else?"

"Yes."

"... yes, what? To the special?"

"Yes."

You give a quick nod then punch in the order, "alright, so our special is a chocolate hazelnut frappe. Does that sound good to you?"

San nods, eyes never leaving you.

You let out a breath and clear your throat. You turn back to him and smile, "That would be-"

"What time-"

The two of you speak at once. San is utterly embarrassed and raises his hand towards you, so that you can continue.

You repeat, "That would be 4,100 won, sir."

San hands you his card and asks as you take it, "what time do you get off work?"

You look at him then turn back to your task at hand, "We close at 8pm, sir."

"I know that," he nods, "but when do you get off work?"

"With all due respect, I don't feel comfortable disclosing that with you, sir."

In that moment, San feels his entire world crumble. He comes to realize a plethora of things, that you didn't feel comfortable with him, that you saw him only as a customer, and what stung the most, you had absolutely no idea as to whom he was.

San lets out a muted sound, as though he as sucker punched.

You turn back to him and hand him his card.

He was in his office at this point, as he stirred the frappe that tasted horrendous to him when he recalled his café encounter, over and over and over again.

He then found himself thinking about the time Yunho caught him on his way back home and beat him with cruel words, making him grow paranoid that the only reason you were his friend was because you felt sorry for him.

He had exploded on you in the middle of a perfectly mundane conversation you had, demanding answers as to why you wanted to be around him in the first place.

San spun around his office chair as he recalled the guilty expression you held. He felt absolutely pathetic up until you spoke and said, "I don't have any friends."

San couldn't believe those words came out of your mouth when you were regularly the center of attention everywhere you went, with him witnessing a crowd flock around you whenever he'd walk up to your class.

"All my friends are my brother's. My brother is my real best friend. But since he, and his friends all graduated, miraculously," you chuckled, "I'm left with no one."

Again, San couldn't understand why that was your truth when you were the epitome of popular. There was absolutely no flaw in your being. You were bright, smart, kind, and beautiful. How could you have no friends?

You explained it was because most of the kids in your grade liked to party, and you weren't fond of that. "I tried," you explained but then scrunched up your nose in distaste, "but I just don't like it."

San began to fall into a pit of you memories and it made his heart clench and his head heavy.

He replayed the very moment that changed his life and quite literally motivated him to be the same man he was in his office chair, in his office, in his building, in his company.

It had been raining all day that day, which was why you had stayed longer than normal in school. It was just you and him at the library. You were both sitting by the corners of a table.

You were finishing some homework and found yourself talking about your dreams in the future. You asked him what he wanted to do, and he told you the wishful answer he had, that made him fade into embarrassment.

You gave him a pout and shook your head, "that's not stupid at all."

San knit his brows deeply, turning away and shaking his head, "you're just saying that."

"No, I'm not. In fact I actually believe you will become a successful entrepreneur when you're older."

San was so confused by the false confidence you held in him. His heart quickens when you place a hand on his shoulder, "you're incredibly creative, smart, and hard working. I'm convinced you could be the president, if you wanted to be."

He lets out a laugh, "no one would vote for someone with a face like this."

"I would," you say surely.

San looks at you in this moment. He remembers the way you smiled so vividly. The words you spoke changed his life, "you have the face of a king."

"... do you really believe that?"

"I do."

San sighs as this moment runs like a vintage motion picture in his mind.

He then began to recall how you two at the very last day of high school had promised to see each other again after ten years. He promised you by then, he would be a successful CEO and you would be proud.

You said you would be proud of him either way.

He thought of this day all the time, twice as more whenever he felt like giving up and succumbing to what was consuming him at that moment. But whenever he thought of you, he shook his head and convinced himself he had to do better, because he wanted to have something to show for after 10 years.

He chuckles bitterly to himself, thinking how ironic it was.

He was indeed successful, and yet you didn't even recognize him. It suddenly felt like it was all for nothing. He felt like disappearing into the wind.

He was extremely disheartened as he drove home that night.

San internally agreed, why would you remember him? He was nothing special in your eyes anyway. You never got to notice how he thoughtfully planned what he wanted he gave you on your birthdays, on each Christmas or Valentines, on the year end parties, nor your graduation. You never thought twice of how he looked and acted around you, even if, in his head, he had been so loud about his feelings.

Why would you when you had your heart set on Park Seonghwa, who was a year older and was the star of the football team in the school not to far from the school you two were going to.

San knew the reason why you liked eating at the ramen shop across the neighborhood was because the neighborhood crush, Seonghwa, worked there part time.

And yet every time you asked him to go there, he would suck it up and agree, since, at least, you wanted his company.

He always thought you'd end up together, especially since you had asked him to go to the school dance with you and he had agreed. This was all he thought about as he drove.

San begins to imagine the dates you might have taken when you were in college.

With his hands on the steering wheel, he begins to paint the hypothetical love life you would have had. He thinks of Seonghwa being the one you would tell your day about, have ice cream dates, buy scarves with, buy snacks with...

San grips the wheel until his knuckles whiten.

He feels utterly defeated.

But then he finds your walking figure on the side walk. He slams on the breaks, causing a loud screeching sound to pierce the ears of everyone in the vicinity. It was extremely dangerous. He was lucky that no one was driving behind him.

You whip your head over to him San's car, not knowing it was him, clearly, then turn back, walking faster.

San pulls up to you and lowers his window. By the time he calls your name and asks if you want a ride home, he realize how absolutely creepy that must have sounded in your ears, especially since you feigned no recognition of him.

His heart feels like it was crushed when you offered a smile at him and declined him.

He couldn't sleep properly that night for multiple reasons.

For the next couple days, San went to the café and ordered whatever was the recommended drink for that week.

Each day, he tried making small talk with you, more and more up until he found it in himself to explain to you that he was that nerd, Choi San, who's high school life, which sequentially became his whole life, you changed for the better.

But everyday that he saw you, it didn't feel it was any easier to speak. He would just find himself tongue tied and light headed. It was so mind blowing to him how strong the butterfly sensation in his stomach was every time he saw you.

He would stand in front of the counter, you would greet him, ask his order, he'd smile back and manage to at least ask how your day is, then that would be it.

"Mr. Choi?" a voice snapped him out of his trance.

San turned to his secretary, Wooyoung. He cleared his throat and nodded, "what did you say?"

Wooyoung sighs and adjusts his glasses, "sir, I'm concerned about you."

San looks at him and clenches his jaw, "why?"

Wooyoung shakes his head, "you like the girl that works in the café, don't you?"

San straightens himself up and clears his throat for the second time.

"Why don't you just ask her out?" he asks.

San wants to scream, tell him it's not that easy.

"I honestly have never seen you like this before, sir," Wooyoung admits, "it's honestly kind of scary."

San shakes his head, "never mind that. Let's get back to work."

He, in fact, could not get back to work. Not in any way that mattered in his head anyway.

So he decided, though he already saw you that morning when he ordered a Choco Mocha Drizzle with Caramel, which he had only given to Wooyoung, since he thought it tasted too weird, he would go to you right now and finally tell you, without thinking, just spill absolutely everything that had been bothering him, and get it over with.

So, he finished his meeting, told Wooyoung, whose sigh he had missed, he was going to go home early, then headed for the café downstairs.

The thing was, when he went into the café, you weren't there anymore. San found through another female employee that was eager to converse with him that there was a new schedule rotation.

You could imagine his surprise when he went to a restaurant and saw you there.

It was too much of a coincidence for him to think that it wasn't fate.

And for the first time in what feels like forever, San gathers his sense and walks up to you.

"Excuse me," San speaks, calling your attention.

You were mid-eating when you turn to him. Your eyes widen at the sight of him.

San begins to panic. He raises his hands, shaking them, "I know this is so weird, but I promise on my life that I'm not following you. I really just like the food here."

You look at him and swallow the food in your mouth.

"The truth is," he says, releasing a breath, "I'm Choi San. The guy you used to be friends with in high school? I know you don't remember me but I promise I'm not crazy and I can show you proof that you and I used to be f--"

You jolt out of your chair and cover you mouth, eyes blown wide, "Sannie?"

San is bewildered by the nickname, because he never thought he'd ever be called that name by you ever again.

"Is that really you?" you exclaim in disbelief.

"Yeah- I, you probably don't remember," San opens his mouth and begins to stutter, "I mean you- you haven't recognized me after all this time." He fumbles then digs into his pocket to pull his wallet out, "But I have- I have proof, I-I-- still have the picture we took on our field trip to the farm- with the cows- and the poop- and-"

He drops his wallet because you suddenly pull him into a hug.

It was truly a 180. And yet again, he was too stunned to anything.

The next thing he knows, you're sharing a table with him, explaining how absolutely creeped out you were by him, but then there was something about him that reminded you about something.

San is utterly embarrassed and profusely apologizes for his behavior, explaining how he was simply so astonished to see you and so nervous since he hadn't spoken to you in years.

"You look so good, San," you compliment.

San disagrees, "my skin just cleared and I gained some weight, is all."

"No, no," you raise your hands, "you carry yourself so differently now. You're so confident and cool. That's why I couldn't recognize you." You break into a smile, "you grew so much as a person. I'm so proud of you."

His heart swells and skips a beat.

"I knew there was something about you," you say, "but then you started acting a little creepy and it was kind of hard to see past that."

"I-I- sorry."

"No," you break into a laugh, "it makes sense now."

San shakes his head, "you're as kind as ever."

"Nah," you chuckle, "I can be pretty mean."

San steals a glance at you, finding it hard to keep eye contact, "No, you- you're just as amazing as you were before, in fact, prettier."

San doesn't have the time to notice the blush on your face because he continues, "And I may look different, but I still feel like I'm a kid in high school when I'm around you."

You chuckle, "well, I had been thinking about how I would meet this high school kid next year when I had absolutely no means of contact with him."

San's eyes brighten, "wait, you remember that?"

"The promise we made each other?" you asked, "how could I forget? I had been anticipating your success long before even you had."

"I-"

"But then of course, I kind of feel weird that you're seeing me as a waitress."

San immediately shakes his head, "no, never ever feel bad around me."

You chuckle as he continues, "you're literally the reason why I got to this point, so please."

You chuckle and roll you eyes, sarcastically agreeing.

The next thing he knows, he's caught you up with everything he's done and feels like he could fly with the gleam you had in your eye while he said it.

"Are you married?" you ask, nonchalant, but it nearly makes him choke.

You offer him water as he coughs. San downs a few sips then shakes his head, "absolutely not."

You raise a brow, "why not? You're literally every woman's wet dream."

San is flabbergasted. He releases a nervous chuckle and pulls on his collar. You are thoroughly amused by his reaction, "I'm joking, Sannie."

As much as he liked being called that name by you, he still is unable to compose himself. It's because of this, he suddenly blurts, "what about you?"

You hum, questioningly.

San finds himself asking you what had been bothering him for a while, "did you and Seonghwa ever end up together?"

You turn to him and chuckle, "was that such an obvious thing to happen?"

San looks at you, in denial of what that meant.

You smile, "yeah, he and I went out."

"Went out?"

You sigh and nod, "yes, as in, we're no longer together. Not for a while now."

San holds back a pleased expression.

He doesn't remain very pleased when he gets invited to your home and finds you had a very dramatic remnant of your past relationship: a daughter, that very clearly resembled her father.

San, yet again, was stunned.

You called to the tiny girl in a blue Frozen dress and she came running to her beloved mother the way small babies did. The baby sitter you hired for the day went on her way and walked passed the stunned San on her way out. You crouched down and pulled the little girl into your arms then gave her a kiss. With a smile on your face, you turned to San, back to your daughter, "Baby, this is mama's friend, uncle San. Would you like to say hello to him?"

Your daughter nods quickly then waddles to San, surprising him how quickly you reached to his legs. The girl wraps her arms around him and smiles, speaking the way that babies do, "hello!"

San opens his mouth, he feels like he's melting internally. San raises his hand, "hello baby girl."

The girl giggles then raises her hands up at him, opening and closing her hands. San turns to you for guidance, but you only shrug and mimic the giggle your daughter gave, "it looks like our darling wants to be carried."

San turns back to the expectant child.

He sucks in a breath then bends down, reaching out to the baby. For some reason, he expected the little lady to be much, much heavier than she actually is. But then again, he was holding literal life in his arms, and even if it wasn't heavy, it will always be a great weight.

From then on, San had you back in his life, and he had never been more pleased. As it turns out, you had finished journalism in college, but after working in a big company, you realized how toxic the environment was and how badly it was affecting your mental state, so you left. You decided to pursue something you had always wanted and attempted to start your own bakery.

The only thing was, you couldn't afford a place for a physical bakery at the moment, and only sold orders online.

On this particular day, San was helping you take care of daughter while you wrap up some orders. You were sprawled on the floor, fixing your orders on the coffee table in front of the couch San was sat on.

San turns to the tray of cookies as he bounces the baby on his lap, "hey, could I try one?"

You turn to him while you wrap a box with ribbon. You smile and nod, "yeah. Actually, I was supposed to box those up for you."

"Really?" San asks.

You nod again, "of course. You're helping me take care of my sweetheart. It's literally the least I could do."

San moves the girl off to his side and grabs a cookie, shoving it into his mouth fully, making you chuckle at him.

The flavours were amazing and it takes him by surprise.

"Wah!" San exclaims with a mouthful.

You smile back at him, "is it good?"

San stands from your couch, "good?! It's amazing. It's not overly sweet and it's soft yet chewy, I love it."

"Aw," you place a hand on your chest, "thank you."

You didn't get to wrap him a box of cookies, since there were no cookies left to wrap.

Once you were done with everything, you walked San to your door, with your daughter in your arms. You took your baby's hand and waved it at San, "bye uncle San."

San coos at the girl, now fully comfortable around her, "bye-bye, baby."

She giggles. You smile fondly at San's loving expression towards your child, "Thank you again for helping me, San."

"No problem," San says.

As he steps out of your apartment, he calls in the hallway, "I left my payment for the cookies you made me on your kitchen counter."

His words don't immediately register in your head, "wait what?"

"BYE BYE BABIES!" he calls, hurriedly going down the fire exit.

When you realize he left a payment for your cookies, you call out for him loudly and try to run after him, but it was too late, he was gone.

It was only natural you gave him a lot of lip when you met up with him the next time you could.

It only happened San kept running away from you and when you managed place the money into his coat pocket, he threw the money out and ran away yet again.

"YA!" you screamed, hurriedly running after him. This angered you greatly, since you didn't appreciate his newfound nonchalance for money, and the fact he was making you run after your shift. He knew well you had to pick up your daughter from daycare today, so the fact he was tiring you was absolutely unacceptable.

You scowled at him and barked, "Choi San, just because you're rich doesn't mean you can do this to money."

San, who as a few feet away from you, turns back and shakes his head, "I'm sorry, but I can't let you not let me pay for the cookies."

"But it was a gift, you idiot, for helping me."

San lets you walk up to him, "yeah and as much as I adore you for your kindness, I don't want to be one of the reasons you go bankrupt."

You scoff, raising a brow, "I'll have you know, Mr. CEO, that in a few years, I could well be richer than you."

San breaks into a wide smile and stomps his feet, "EXACTLY!" The action surprises you and causes you to clutch your chest. He then grabs your hand and excitedly tells you, "now keep that money in your pocket because I have something to show you."

And what he shows you is a cute little spot near your house that seemed to be under renovation. You had absolute no idea why he was showing you, but you don't mind, since he looks so proud of the place.

San, hand still in yours, pulls you in and smiles widely.

You get nervous though, "are you sure we're supposed to be in here?"

San purses his lips into a smile and nods, "don't worry." He lets go of your hand, only to go around and point at things and open doors, "what do you think of the place?"

You nod, gathering it may be a place he bought, since he was absolutely loaded, after all, "it's nice." You look around, "it could use some plants but then again, it's clearly not done anyway."

San stops and place his hands in his pockets, "then add as many plants as you want."

"What?"

He pulls out a key and dangles it up in front of you with a wide smile still plastered on his face, "because it's your new bake shop!"

"What?!" you ask, stomach dropping.

He grabs your hand and places the key in it. You try to break free from him, but he uses his strength against you.

"San, quit being ridiculous!"

San chuckles, "I'm not being ridiculous at all."

In your struggle, you wind up being trapped in his arms. You attempt to fight him back, but he made it clear he was so much stronger than you, which was honestly so pointless of him. You sigh and eventually you tire, finding yourself simply enjoying his embrace, although at the back of your head, you were so anxious by what he had just told you. You were about to explain to him how unreasonable what he was doing was, but the opportunity never came because of San's monologue.

"You have no idea how miniscule this act is compared to how much you helped me in high school," San starts.

"San-"

"No, please..." San mutters softly. "I truly, truly mean it when I say that had I not met you, I wouldn't have ever gotten to this point in my life. I would have never thought I was good at anything, and I certainly would have never taken risks and brought myself to have confidence in me."

"... that's not true."

San chuckles, "that's the only fact I have that I know for certain is true."

When you pull away, San feels his heart shatter at the sight of your misty eyes. His lips pull into a frown when tears run down your cheeks. He knits his brows, "hey, it's alright. Please, just let me do this for you, okay? I promise it'll all be okay."

He wipes your tears and whispers, "I'll take care of you now, the way you took care of me then."

Your breath hitches. You jump back into his arms and crush him against you, "thank you."

San nods his head, "thank you."

San never doubted a second that you would have a great start, but even he was astonished by the overwhelming amount of customers you had from the get-go.

You obviously quit your job and worked at your bakery full time. And though you had two other employees, you seriously began to think of hiring one more because of how good and busy your business was going.

San felt absolutely wonderful seeing you succeed.

It was like all the pieces were falling into place.

But then it came crashing down.

San couldn't believe what he was hearing you admit to him.

You had gotten your mother to take care of your daughter this night and surprised San to a dinner at the restaurant you had met each other by chance. One too many drinks were drunk, all on your end, and you suddenly admitted how-

"I so too had a crush on you, Choi San! Why did you think I always asked you to go to that ramen house?"

No, no, no... you liked going there because of Seonghwa! Not him...

"And then I wanted to ask you to the school dance, but you said it was stupid, so I tried asking if you would ever change your mind about it-"

No, no, no!

"But you kept going on about how much you hated the idea of the dance, I figured I would just be stupid if I still asked you if you wanted to go."

NO! He only said it was stupid because he didn't have the guts to ask you out and stayed adamant because of the stupid initial slip up he had!

You sigh, giving him a drunken smile, "I wonder what would have happened if I ended up with you instead of that Park Seonghwa."

San feels like an ass. You were definitely not alone on that boat.

You hiccup, "but then again, I wouldn't have my perfect baby girl if he hadn't gotten me pregnant."

San turned to his empty shot glass. A terrible, awful, horrendous thought popped up in his head. He thinks, had he not been so dismissive of your advances he blinded himself to, and was he not so stuck on idea you could have never liked him back, then maybe... maybe he could have been the little angel's father.

San feels like he could throw up. His throat tightens. His stomach growls at him in protest.

He thinks to himself: I definitely wouldn't have left them, that's for sure.

Part of him had hoped you would forget about your conversation that night, mostly, San thinks, was so that he could deny ever thinking of that awfully selfish and poisonous thought he thought that night.

But, alas, you remembered everything and even apologized if he was uncomfortable by the drunken admission.

He shook his head and told you he wasn't bothered by it at all.

So, not only had he lied, but he also still didn't tell you how he had felt.

It was after this moment, he realized, no matter how much he had changed since high school, people can never truly become different. Because there he was again unable to tell you his feelings, left regretting the things he did, the things he didn't do, and losing to Park Seonghwa.

Seonghwa poured him a cup of tea, a cup of tea he had made specifically for you, since you were on your period and he knew that helped you tremendously.

That alone was enough for San to forfeit.

The man, who was just as tall and good looking even after all these years, smiled at San, making him want to punch his teeth out, "so you're the best friend she never shut up about."

San couldn't even feel happy about that, as he could only imagine how you would have told him this while you rested your head on his lap, while he brushed your hair.

"Why didn't you and her keep in touch after graduating?" Seonghwa asks with seemingly no malice, yet it makes San want to jump him so bad. Seonghwa was on the floor, folding baby clothes, while you and San were on the couch drinking tea, though in addition, you had been breast feeding.

You are the one that answered, "I told you, he went to Seoul and I didn't know how where what address to send letters to. I thought of sending them to his grandmother's house, but knowing her, she would have delivered them directly to San, and I didn't want her to go back and forth for me."

San's jaw slacks at the sentiment, and even more regret washes over him.

Seonghwa turns to you, "what about email? Or phone?"

You shrug, "I didn't have any of his contacts."

Seonghwa turns back to San, "wow. You two really didn't think that through."

You reach and throw one of the shirts he as folding to your ex's face. Seonghwa chuckles and gives you a look, "what? It's true."

San feels like he could die.

After this moment, you finish feeding your daughter and Seonghwa finishes folding her clothes, even the one you hurtled towards him.

That man then goes up to you, specifically for his daughter, and takes her into his arms, peppering the precious thing with kisses.

Seonghwa begins to tell her how much he loves her as you turn to San and ask him if he was ready to head out to the cinema now.

"Didn't you say you were having cramps?"

You shake your head, "They've subsided now, and honestly weren't that bad. Seonghwa can just be dramatic."

The said man chimes in, "well sorry for caring."

You give him a look then stand and turn to San, "let's go?"

San has no other option but to comply.

It's crazy how even after all the time you had spent up until that point, San had no idea Seonghwa spent weekends at your house with your daughter. It made him realize that as much as he knew you, what he knew was not the present you.

It was also crazy how much he saw Seonghwa after that, when he went from not even knowing he was still a part of your life at all to being a looming shadow that was pushing him into insanity.

He got infuriated by the idea he only started showing up more frequently was because of San. When he released the paranoid, egotistical side of him though, he realized Seonghwa was consistent with his weekend schedules and only ever made an appearance if you asked him to.

But what hurt San the most was not that he thought he stood no chance against Seonghwa. No, he managed to convince himself fully to a point where he was sure if he pursued you, you would reciprocate the idiotically prolonged silent love he has harbored for you all these years.

Not even the idea of destroying the picturesque portrait of a family you, Seonghwa, and your child had was what stung. In his mind, he knew he could step up to the plate and be a good dad. He knew he was man enough to allow your daughter to have a relationship with her biological father, even if he came across to some ignorant onlookers as a homewrecker.

But that was exactly what stung. No matter how much he convinced himself, and how you and Seonghwa convinced each other, San could see that you two clearly still loved each other, which would in fact really make him a homewrecker

San looked left when you two shared a laugh to his right. He looked right when you two bickered to his left. Hell, he screwed his eyes and covered his ears, but it was clear as day.

You still loved him and he still loved you.

It was painful. It truly was. On some days, he just wanted to burst out with this obvious piece of vital information just to save himself the heart ache, but San was only human, and in his own form of retribution, he decided he would bite his tongue, waiting for you to either realize your feelings, or for him to finally have his chance.

But you know what, San hates himself for not being a little bit more selfish in the end. Cause damn, it hurts having to act like you didn't just witness someone you love kiss someone else.

San was cradling your daughter in his arms as he rocked her gently to sleep and thought it was a good idea to look at the window.

It wasn't.

You had walked Seonghwa out on this Saturday afternoon. In truth, his visits had gotten shorter and shorter, which had made San feel a strong surge of false hope.

It was hope in falseness, nevertheless.

Seonghwa grabbed your hand before you could walk away and go back inside. You turned back and knit your brows.

"I-" Seonghwa starts, but can't seem to continue. He calls your name, which makes electricity run down your spine. He restarts his thoughts and speaks, "I don't want to not be part of her life. I want to be there for every birthday, for every smile, for every tear... I-I want to be there."

You shake you head, turning to your feet and back to him, "No one's stopping you, Hwa."

Seonghwa finally lets you go and places his hands in his pants' pockets, "I know."

You think of going back inside, but for some reason, you stay put in your spot, somehow expectant that Seonghwa has something more to say.

He does, "do you like him?"

You turn to your feet, questioning, though you knew who he was referring to, "San?"

Seonghwa hums.

"I... I do..."

You turn back to Seonghwa and see his stoic expression. Your blood stills at his next question, "do... do you... like me?"

"I..." you trail of and catch your breath, ".... I do."

Seonghwa straightens, knowing you too well, knowing too well that you sometimes feign ignorance for the benefit of the doubt. He steps forward and boldly asks, "do you love me?"

You struggle with the lump in your throat.

Seonghwa takes another step and licks his lips, rephrasing his thoughts how he meant to ask it. That was where Seonghwa and San differed; where one would sometimes wait and overthink too much, the other would sometimes act without thinking at all. Neither of them would ever know this about the other though.

"Do you still love me?"

Your eyes begin to water, "Seonghwa."

His breath hitches as he weakly adds, "I do."

"..."

He lets out a shaky breath and wave his hands trying to gain momentum for what he had to say, "I quit my job."

You turn back at him and whisper in shock, "Seonghwa."

"I found a new job here, somewhere close with less hours. It's less pay too, but I figured we'd be alright since we'd be living under the same roof and your business is doing well."

"Seonghwa, you're insane."

He takes yet another step forward and takes in a breath, shaking his head, "that was the problem wasn't it? I was working too long, too far, too much. I wasn't being the man I promised you I'd be. That's why you left my ring and left me."

"It was more than that! We were still growing and were changing into different people. We wanted different things."

"Well I want none of that now!" he retorts, almost hysterically, "I don't want to be in a big firm or be one of the big shots with my sportscar and my penthouse, I just want you. I just want you, and my baby, and for my life to be part of yours."

You're both crying at this point.

And to be precise, this was the moment San got a glimpse of.

Seonghwa had taken all the steps he could and was now standing in front of you. You two had stared at each other for a solid five seconds before ultimately, Seonghwa had the spine to wipe of your tears away and cautiously lean in for a kiss.

He was successful. You kissed him back.

San shakily turned back and walked away from the window. He thought to himself: it was only kiss.

But in that moment, he was reminded, people never truly change.

And the same way he showed up to the dance after finally growing some sense and losing his pride, he knew in his bones he was too late. He found you and Seonghwa sharing a kiss by the pool during the dance after looking for you all over the place.

It was all over.

He lost.

Only this time, San had a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, unselfish part of him that rooted for you.

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hailbop1701 · 3 years

Text

Curing a Rainy Day

A sort of five times Star Trek gen fic for your viewing pleasure. I mentioned I would write it but please be aware that I wrote this on my phone late at night and I has no beta. Typos and mistakes will be found. 🤣

-H❤🖖

Word Count: 2,166

Sulu:

Leonard McCoy wasn’t a huge touchy-feely type of man. Well, that’s what he really wants folks to think anyway. He was a doctor and that meant it was his oath-bound duty to cure what ails his patients. Whether it was from a physical malady or an emotional one. The first time he initiated his “Rainy Day Cure” --title courtesy of his daughter-- to one of the command crew he was surprised that it was Sulu of all people. If Len were being honest he thought it would have been Jim. Sure he had hugged the kid in the past but he always let Jim be the one to initiate contact. The reason why is complicated and a story for another time.

When he found him the young pilot was huddled alone in Observation Room Five, his shoulders hunched, his down so his eyes were hidden and mind lightyears away. Leonard had a feeling he knew where. The chaos after Khan and Marcus had caused a lot of damage, and not all of it was physical. They were all still healing even a year later. They had left Kronos not three hours ago and according to the mission report, Sulu’s younger sister was…

Not who she claimed to be. ‘Yuki,’ McCoy recalled her name lamely as he made his way loudly over to the depressed man.

She revealed that she worked for Section 31 and was determined to fix the Federation the right way. Though the term “Right way” is skewed for many folks. War was almost started, again and the Enterprise had to stop it, again. Section 31 now had the last little pebble of Red Matter and was holding it like a…” Nuclear deterrent” as the old saying goes.

Shaking his head Leonard pushed recent events to the back of his mind and continued on his own mission. Plopping down on the couch that faced the giant window of stars, McCoy leaned forward so his elbows rested on his knees.

He didn’t offer his apologies or sympathies, he knew Sulu didn’t want them. So they sat in silence. Sulu just shook his head and looked up at the doctor with confusion and betrayal in his eyes. “I don’t - I” he stopped swallowing and the helmsman looked so young Leonard didn’t even think about it until after he had already done it.

He wrapped an arm over Hikaru’s shoulder and squeezed. Sulu stilled for a moment before relaxing and saying what needed to be said, a weight slowly lifting off his shoulders and his chest.

Scotty:

Leonard and Scotty were both having a terrible terrible time. The cold sucked in Leonard’s opinion and being trapped on an ice ball of a planet only confirmed his feelings. Looking over at the Enterprises Chief Engineer, Leonard had a feeling that he wasn’t alone in his thoughts and feelings.

The Scot was curled into a tight ball up against the last running console the entire ‘Fleet base had. He was shivering and muttering to himself, glaring at the distress signal he had rigged up. There was nothing they could do but wait. Rubbing his hands together to warm them Leonard moved toward the console and slid down to the floor next to Scotty. Touching shoulders with Scotty, McCoy tucked his hands under his arms and sighed. There was nothing he could really say to ease the engineer’s anxiety -- which stemmed from Delta Vega no doubt -- so he simply let his presence be enough.

Scotty glanced at Leonard to see that he was looking back at him with calm understanding. Grunting Scotty curled himself closer to the CMO and let the man wrap an arm around his shoulders. They didn’t speak a word and only moved when they heard the sounds of the rescue party on the other side of the sealed doors.

Chekov:

Pavel Chekov was the youngest of the command crew, so he was automatically protected and treated like the youngest sibling of a giant family. The navigator understood that his friends didn’t mean to and that it was just sometimes a reflex but he was getting damn tired of it. Today was his birthday, he had finally turned twenty! Chekov was so pleased to find that after the incident with Khan he was being treated like he should. There was one person who always treated him like he was young and precious.

Pavel found that he didn’t mind so much. Doctor McCoy treated almost everyone that way -- even though he wasn’t that much older than the rest of them -- in an almost fatherly manner. A true caretaker. Chekov allowed the behavior from no one but McCoy.

Leonard walked into “Rec Room Two” taking in the crowd with a softening scowl. A small wrapped parcel gripped in his hand. He looked down at the present, weighing it in his hands carefully. With a sigh, McCoy strode through the room looking for the birthday boy. Jim waved at him wildly from the other side of the room a huge grin on his face. Narrowing his eyes, Leonard saw that his captain wasn’t in fact drunk at all. Grunting in approval he smiled at Chekov who was hurrying over to greet him.

“Happy Birthday Pavel,”

Chekov grinned and his eyes widened at the present presented to him. Leonard gestured for him to open it and the young man did excitedly. The wrapping paper littered the floor a long black box in its place. Slowly opening the box the navigator knocked a silver antique pocket knife into his hands. Examining it closely he looked up at McCoy in confusion.

Leonard shifted nervously on his feet. Clearing his throat he pulled out a similar from his belt. “My daddy gave me this one to match his when I turned twenty. I know your pa wasn’t around as you grew up and so I thought…” his sentence fell into silence. For once Leonard McCoy was at a loss for words. Pavel quickly wiped a stray tear from his eye and grinned at his friend holding onto the gift tightly.

“Thank you doctor!” he said gratefully and Leonard understood that it was for more than just a knife. A small smile graced the CMO’s lips and pulled the kid in for a hug.

With anyone else, Pavel would have been annoyed. This was an exception.

Uhura:

Leonard was tired. He longed for his bed but as he looked around at all of the injured crew he pushed the longing away. There was no time for it. Rubbing the blurry fatigue from his eyes he pushed on. Triage, surgery, aftercare. He really didn’t truly stop to breathe until the middle of gamma shift when the ship was sleepy and quiet. The only noise was the soft beeps and whistles of monitors. His nurses quietly whispering and working.

Christine hours ago told him to stop worrying and to go to bed already but something in him just couldn’t. Blinking dumbly down at the PADD in his hands he sighed and signed off on the next round of Spock’s antibiotics. During the Enterprises most recent scuffle the bridge took a hit and the science station exploded sending the first officer flying, earning him a ticket to medical.

After the fight was over and things had only calmed down to a trickle of wounded instead of a flash flood, Nyota Uhura breezed through sickbay’s doors. She waited patiently and even helped where she could. When Spock came out of surgery and was placed in a private room she immediately went to his side and hasn’t moved an inch since. Jim would have been right beside her if he could afford to. But it appears the admiralty wanted words and had kept him busy since. McCoy had barely just convinced him to get some sleep saying that he would call if anything changes.

That was three hours ago.

Leonard walked -- though Nyota would say shuffled -- into Spock’s room, his eyes going straight to the monitors above the bed. The half Vulcan was resting peacefully. McCoy knew it was only a matter of time before he woke and would go into a healing trance. Something that should be monitored anyway. Leonard quietly wondered who he would grant the opportunity to slap Spock awake this time…

“Leonard!”

The sound of his name made the CMO snap his head in Uhura’s direction. Her eyes were fire, filled with frustration, exhaustion, and worry. McCoy winced, “Sorry Nyota, guess my mind wandered a bit,” he said somewhat sheepishly. Her expression softened a flash of guilt passing through her features.

“You need more rest. You’re going to run yourself into the ground at this rate,” she scolded half-heartedly. McCoy gave her a small smile and a shrug,

"I'll rest when I'm not needed." He whispered and badly covered up a yawn. The hidden meaning behind his words wasn't lost on the linguist though. She pressed her lips into a tight line deciding not to comment. Instead, she rested her gaze on Spock once more her hand inches away from his.

So deep in thought, Nyota hadn't even realized that McCoy had left and come back, a tray with a couple of hypos in his always unwavering hands. Catching her eyes he gave her another encouraging smile. He took care to tell her everything he was doing and how it would help keep infection away. Leonard knew he didn't have to explain but he felt it necessary to fill the quiet with "Illogical chatter" as Spock would surely call it.

Uhura was so tired and so frazzled that she was startled to find the CMO crouching in front of her with concern all over his face. "You need to get some rest Nyota. I can have a cot brought in if you'd like…"

Uhura, let a few tears fall before she bottled it up again. She shook her head wiping her face, "I'm alright Leo. Everything is just catching up to me…" she mumbled with a watery chuckle. Leonard snorted at the nickname she had given him,

"Just let me know darlin' "

And without truly thinking about it he pulled her into a hug. It only took Uhura a second to process what was happening before she wrapped her arms around him tightly. A genuine smile breaking across her face. The first time in hours she felt content, safe, and able to truly breathe.

Jim:

James T. Kirk was a touchy-feely type of man. Leonard supposed it may be from a less than stellar childhood. So whenever Jim would pull him into a one-armed hug or slapped his back or even leaned up against him, McCoy would let him. He would definitely bitch but only half-heartedly, Leonard needed to keep up appearances after all.

So when they found Jim partially dead, hanging from his wrists in a cave all smirks and charm…

Well, no one batted an eye when -- after he made sure that the man would live -- Leonard pulled his best friend in for a hug. Jim just laughed, laid an arm over McCoy's shoulder, and leaned into the hug.

"I only had to get tortured and offered to an alien God for you to hug me. Good to know,"

"Shut up Kid,"

Spock:

No one ever thought the words McCoy, Spock, and hug would ever be uttered but stranger things have happened on the Enterprise.

No stranger than an alien device that turned back time. In a physical sense anyway. Leonard looked down at his adolescent hands and sighed with a heavy eye roll. "Not this again," he grumbled with a shudder.

Looking around the room he saw Jim shouting at Mudd who had bought the alien weapon and decided to point it at him and Spock. McCoy tilted his head, his eyes going comically wide.

Spock!

Where was the green-blooded rugrat? Leonard looked around and sighed in relief at the sight of the first officer. He was hidden under a rickety wooden table. Crouching down Leonard gave Spock a small smile, he waved and gestured for the Vulcan to come closer. Apparently the younger you go the further your mind goes with it. Spock had a mentality of a...of well, a toddler. He couldn't have been more than two.

Spock stared at Leonard intensely before darting out and crashing into his legs. McCoy stumbled a little before he got his footing. Spock looked up at him with wide scared eyes, tears threatening to fall. 'Must have gotten all Vucan-y at four or five,' Leonard thought as he picked up his friend.

Leonard pulled Spock close, hugging him to his chest whispering softly. Spock seemed confused for only a moment before he buried his head into the young CMO's neck.

Jim of course saw it all and later under the threat of meeting his end via an airlock kept his mouth firmly shut. The only thing the Starship Captain said -- which everyone agreed-- Doctor Leonard McCoy could absolutely cure a rainy day.

Tags:

@lauraaan182, @chickadee-djarin, @cowenby2, @bluesclues-1234, @sayuri9908,

#star trek aos #leonard mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #jim kirk #james t kirk #spock #mister spick #nyota uhura #pavel chekov #hikaru sulu #montgomery scott #fanfiction #hailey the queen of typos

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