“How did you end up with the Suli family?” Rotxo asks one quiet evening. He’s sitting with Spider, helping him make nets while the others rush around elsewhere, probably readying dinner for their large patchwork of a family. In some ways they are still separate. Tsireya, and Rotxo are still more likely to listen to Ao’nung rather than Neteyam and he himself only listens to Neteyam, Kiri and the adults but they are coming together.
“What do you mean?” He asks, lying it out simple for the other to explain himself with. He knows how Spider ended up a Suli, officially, and it’s not a pleasant story. His healed leg aches on bad days, his hands tremble always, and it’s not easy, but it;’s the world he lives in now and he’s long accepted his place as a Suli instead of a Socorro. “I mean were you close with them before you were brought in?” There isn’t a Na’vi word for taken forcibly and Rotxo wouldn’t say that, if only because he doesn’t want to earn Neytiri and Neteyam’s ire. He himself can understand that, and his leg twinges, just a little bit. He also doesn’t know how to answer the question. Yes he was close with some of the Suli family but he and Neytiri didn't belong to each other for a very long time.
The truth of the matter is that it’s complicated and Spider says so to Rotxo. He looks sad almost, like a kicked baby ilu. The mean part of Spider, the part he is always tampering down says let him be sad, let him feel hurt for he never soothed Spider’s hurt, never helped him run.This part is growing quiter by the day and the part that says look at this family you have been provided grows louder. He listens to the kinder part and asks, “Is there something you’re looking to achieve?” Rotxo squirms, and won’t look at him. He recognizes this behavior from Kiri when she really wants something but doesn’t have the words. It’s okay. He waits calmly and patiently for Rotxo to be ready to speak. He is used to hours of this, minutes do not phase him. Eventually Rotxo says, face flushed, “I want to belong to my family as you do your own.” Oh for all the things someone to ask him, it's this. Why is it this
“Do they not love you enough?” He asks gently, very fucking confused because he knows that Ao’nung adores his younger best friend and that Reya loves him like a brother. Instantly Rotxo is shaking his head, gesturing wildly as his tail starts to flick in irritation. Spider’s pretty sure that he learned several of the ruder ones from Lo’ak but he isn’t going to tell. “I mean do they treat you like my family treats me?” Rotxo stops making horribl;e gestures that he probably doesn’t know the meaning of and shakes his head. Problem established, and now he can fix it, or maybe make it worse, depending on what he’s feeling at the moment.
First thing’s first, establish what Rotxo actually wants and go from there. “What do you want from our family?” He says, and makes it as blunt as possible. Rotxo flushes and murmurs something quick under his breath. He waits, continuing to work on his net top, similar to what Reya wears only more tightly knit. “I want to be a brother to them, not like a brother, I want them to adopt me as they did you.” Surprisingly he doesn’t sound jealous or resentful, he sounds calm and at ease. “Our family,” he says, emphasizing the our , “took me in because I belong to Neteyam, always have. For a long time I got away with being a little shit but when I well you know, Neteyam snapped I guess. If you wanted to, you could try the same tactics.”
Rotxo smiles sadly, “I’ve already tried acting out for attention. Once, only a few moons before the suli family arrived, I left for three days without telling Ao’nung where I went. He yelled at me but he didn’t do anything to stop me, you know?” That’s fucking insane. Spider even during his skxawang years, never ever left Neteyam for longer than a day, mostly because he wanted to be with the Na’vi as often as possible but now he recognizes that some part of him knew, even then that it wouldn't go well.
“That was really fucking stupid,” he says, wonder lacing his tone. Rotxo nods, “I know, and it didn’t even work. I spent three days feeling horrible and I didn’t even get what I want.” He pats his friend (brother?) on the hand. “I can tell you a little bit about my past with Teyem and Kiri if you want, see if that helps somehow.” Rotxo nods eagerly, so he starts with the first time he met Neteyam, also known as the time his entire life changed.
“Well it all started with a tree…”
“What are you doing?” He startles, falling right down on his butt. He hisses, a sound that the science-men make when they’re upset, a sound that they only make when they’re in their avatars. He likes the sound, like he likes the Na’vi language. The science men taught it to him before they tried to teach him english . He doesn’t like english so he never speaks it, even when people as him questions in it. He’d rather speak Na’vi cause it’s sense and sounds like home. He suddenly remembers that someone asked him a question so he turns round, smiling at the blue boy and girl who are lots taller then he is. He hears the boy wondering if he’s a boy or a girl so he decides the answer the question. “Imma boy,” he says simply, “and I’m trying to climb tree.” The two Na’vi stare at him for a moment before the boy smiles. “I teach you,” he offers. The girl comes closer, staring at him before ruffling his hair with a gentle hand.
He likes these two people, they are kind and make him feel good. “You put your hands on the knobby things.” the boy says politely, so he turns around and does so. He finds this much easier and suddenly after a few more instructions he’s up in the trees, swinging from branch to branch. “Spider,” the boy calls, so he looks down to ask what a Spider is. “You’re Spider. That’s your new name.” He thinks about this and decides that being Spider is much better then being Miles, a name that the science-men say and look upset afterwards. He decides that he’s going to be Spider from now on. “
There’s a beat of silence, and then Roxto asks, “How old were you?” He shrugs, “I think I was about four or so.” He’s hit with the impression that if Rotxo had eyebrows they’d be raised to sky right now. “Why were you out alone that young. I know Neteyam and Kiri are older then you so that makes a little more sense but why were you left alone.” He makes a vague noise of ‘I don’t know’ , “The science-men were really busy so I kinda escaped a lot.” Rotxo looks pained. He sighs very softly and says,” In our clan children are never left alone until they prove they can survive without too much help. Actually, why were Kiri and Neteyam allowed to be alone in the forest?” He shrugs,” Teyam was a very violent child, and Jake trusted him to protect Kiri.” He remembers the many times that Neteyam hunted down other children and left them bloody for daring to hurt him or Lo’ak. In hindsight he really should have seen the whole force adoption thing coming.
As he’s musing on this, Ao’nung and Neteyam enter the pod, chatting about something or other, obviously enjoying each other's company. Suddenly Spider sees a way to fix Rotxo’s problem and get himself some extra privileges at the same time. “Hey Teyam, Ao’nung can you come over here?” The two look at each other, shrug and walk over. Rotxo hisses, “what do you think you’re doing?” but Spider ignores him. “Rotxo thinks you don’t love him as your brother because you’ve never stopped him from doing anything nor has anyone in your family punished him for messing up.” He tattles quickly, making sure everything gets out before Rotxo claps a hand over his mouth. Neteyam yanks him into his arms, freeing him from Rotxo. Ao’nung however is staring at Rotxo, mouth agape. “So you’re telling,” Ao’nung starts slowly, “that every single one of your stupid, pointless stunts, like running away for three days was to get my attention?” Rotxo starts to wither, shrinking into himself at the sharp anger in Ao’nung’s voice. “You know, I thought that listening to my father would be for the best, that it would be completely logical to let you remain only as your parent’s son but I think I was wrong.”
Netayam laughs, says, “I’ve told you before that parents really shouldn’t get to make the decisions when you know better than they do. Also you should have asked Ronal.” Ao’nung does an imitation of flipping Neteyam off and turns back to Rotxo who’s curled in on himself, obviously afraid. “You are mine,” He says, gently but firmly. “You are mine, ma apre’ano, have been since the day we took you in.” Rotxo smiles, flinging himself into Ao’nung who catches him and hugs him tightly. They stay like that even when Tsireya and Kiri walk into the pod, stopping at the doorway when they notice how the four of them are tightly clustered together. “Did something happen?” Kiri asks, and Neteyam laughs, the sound filling up the hut. “Rotxo and Ao’nung are finally getting their shittogether.” Reya and Kiri both laugh, coming to join them in the little circle. It takes a while for Ao’nung and Rotxo to come apart but the second they do, Reya’s tackling Rotxo, murmuring to him.
Eventually the adults come back, and they all sit down to eat. Halfway through dinner Ao’nung speaks up for the first time “Rotxo, if you ever try running away again, I will break both of your legs. Tonowari stares at his children in concern and Ronal says, “Finally.” Neytiri pats her on the arm and dinner continues on.
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