#THANK GOD I RELISTENED TO IT A FEW TIMES IT IS NOW ONE OF IF NOT MY ALL TIME FAVORITE MÅNESKIN SONG

[elytrafemme]

la paura del buio is the only fucking song that matters btw 

[kurogxrix]

Charm’

Footballer!E-42 Miles Morales x reader

IN WHICH despite the amount of fame and fangirls that your footballer boyfriend Miles receives, he never fails to remind them that he’s yours and yours only at the end of the day.

A/N: this is a rushed ass wip that i wanted to finish, so don’t expect much😭

The yelling and high-pitched crying has been going on for a solid minute now, and the red carpet laid between the crowd control barriers has yet to be occupied. It was always this way, fans crying out their love to Miles before the man could even leave the building, then yelling some more as the poor man simply walked down the short hall to reach the comfort of the black limousine that was always awaiting him 20 minutes before his appearance.

From behind the shut doors, a suited Miles was mentally preparing himself for his entrance. If he had known that this was the reality of fame, he would’ve never signed the contract in the first place. Though who is he even kidding, anybody would have taken the chance to play for their favourite football team if they could. Hell, he would’ve signed the contract for any team at this point, it was his childhood dream to play in a professional football club - and he was sure that it was many other kids’ dream as well.

Miles couldn’t help but close his eyes for reassurance, begging for his mind to concentrate on anything else but the uproar behind the closed doors that stood just a few metres away from him. Clouded by awe, the obvious first thing that his mind could find to distract himself was you. Lord, he even had to run a hand down his hair to stop his thoughts from running too far. 

You and Miles had been together for 3 years now, that was 2 years before he got signed in the team, and one year into his famous days. Sometimes he’d wake up and raise his head towards the sky to utter a prayer, thanking a god that he didn’t believe in for having you stay by his side despite the ups and downs. 

Miles walked towards the nearest body mirror, the heels of his shoes clicking against the tiled floor as he did so. He made sure to check himself out one last time to see if he looked presentable, he sure as hell wasn’t about to leave the building with a crumpled suit, that wouldn’t look good on the photos now would it?

As Miles neared the exit again, a familiar tune caught his attention from beyond the closed doors. A melody that he could recognize from millions of others, one that he’d stay up relistening to with you past midnight as you both failed to fall asleep. The hypnotising voice that would fill his playlist beyond the never ending lists of rap songs, Rema.  

Miles shut his eyes for a split second, reliving all the singing and laughing-filled moments shared between the both of you as this song played in the background. Taking a final deep breath, Miles finally grounded himself enough to push past the doors. It didn’t even take a millisecond for the roaring of fangirls to erupt, and his foot had yet to even step ground on the outside of the building. 

The camera flashes didn’t wait for him either, blinding him before he even had the chance to step foot on the carpet. Miles would beg to accept that he was used to it now, he’d love to say that he had gotten used to it now after a year of living through it. Though he’d be a liar to admit so, and everything just feels so overwhelming. 

Nevertheless, the striking smile on his face never faltered, and he looked cunning to the very eye. He stood there unmoving for a couple of seconds, letting the cameras capture every good angle of his before they swarm him on the carpet. Miles can’t help his eyes from trailing into the crowd. The very same brown iris widening at the sight, unable to help the deep chuckle that escapes within him. 

A swarm of women, including a couple of men, yelling at his name. Some of them have hefty signs that are raised up for him to see, and he laughs at the outrageous things that are written on them. Their confidence blows at Miles, how in hell can anyone go out in public while holding a sign filled with such filth. It makes him shiver at the fact that those things are written about him, but a warm smile makes way to his face as he skims through the “I Love You” ones. 

He too, loves his fans as much as they adore him. Even through the rather explicit messages that they leave him, he loves them throughout. Beyond the hate that he inevitably received after becoming a public face, Miles must admit that the love is much rewarding. It soothes a piece of his heart that has been tainted by the stress of being a footballer, and it’s even better when he catches children looking up to him with a miniature version of his jersey on. It envelopes his heart with a warmth that he can’t even grasp. 

A sudden movement strays from the others, and it catches Miles' attention. If it wasn’t for the blinding flashes of the paparazzi and the thousands of screeching fans, he would’ve definitely noticed the limousine waiting for him at the end of the line, but he feels his heart stammer as the driver delicately opens the back door. 

Sure, on the outside, Miles’ may resemble a stoic guy. His resting bitch face does his kind heart little justice, and the two fine braids that accompany his fade just boosts his intimidating look. On the inside, Miles feels his heart pounding uncontrollably at the sight of you waiting in the ride for him. You’re  seated at the other side of the open door, keeping a place for him besides you. 

A small smile rises on Miles' face, and a wicked idea brews in the back of his head. He walks a bit faster towards his car, confusing the cameramen and the people that are throwing themselves above the bars just to get a touch of this man. However, when he reaches the car, you’re shocked when he motions for you to grab onto his hand.

Sure, yours and Miles’ relationship was never kept at bay from anyone. You’d been with him since before his fame, and he’d be a loser to keep you in the dark now that he was famous, with your consent of course. It wasn’t unusual that Miles’ would often get questions about you during interviews, and you’d often find yourself smiling at the TV as you watched him answer them with pride. 

Though this was different. You’d never accompanied him out to events, yet alone on a carpet walk. It had nothing to do with Miles but all with you, you weren't all the shy on a usual, but  almost afraid of the camera’s. You’d seen the way they’d flash attack your boyfriend from behind the closed car windows, and sometimes you feared that they’d end up snapping a shitty picture of you, post it and then you’d get burnt on the internet.

The web wasn’t a nice place and you knew it, plus with the thousands and jealousy-infected women out there, you just knew that the things they’d say were going to be more than nasty. Though as you watched Miles’ ‘there’s no pressure’ smile and his soft hand reaching out to you, you decided to push those fears away. 

“Hey ma,” Miles spoke softly to you, the charm in his voice unavoidable as he stared straight into your eyes. It was hard to only stare into those eyes of yours, because once Miles had helped you out of the car, he couldn’t help but notice just how stunning you were on this night. Not that you weren't usually eye-catching, he believed that you were the most beautiful woman to ever grace this earth, though something about this newfound confidence just made you so much more attractive.

“hey..” You were clad in a skintight, dark blue dress that had been gifted to you by none other than Miles. He’d smooth talk you through the “here’s a beautiful dress for a beautiful girl”, in all of his sap. The opera gloves were just as dark as the dress, and the light reflecting off of it gave the blue colour its stunning shine. Miles was enamoured by you, his brown iris unable to leave your form as you stood on your Smiling Melody platform heels. 

Miles loves everything about this moment, from the way you dressed so chique despite your sole aim tonight being to pick up Miles from here before dipping back home. He loved how extra you were, always urging to be the best dressed even if it was for a supermarket trip. Miles loved how that shy smile of yours never left your face as you continued to stare at him. 

The chorus of cheers from behind the both of you broke you out of your trance, and finally, you collected the courage to turn around and face everyone. Miles’ warm palm found a home within your lower back, and the comforting presence of it was enough to ground you. You knew that he was looking at you with that lovesick expression of his, you didn’t even need to glance up at him to be sure. 

The middle of the carpet found you well, and an unfamiliar feeling surged in your chest at the sight of so many people. So many cameras and so many eyes fixed towards you, like your place didn’t belong next to your boyfriend that stood right besides you. Though you tried to keep the thoughts at bay, there were too many things to look at and too many things to concentrate on. It was overwhelming. 

But through your concerns, Miles just knew how to appease your thoughts. 

Ending the night with Miles kissing you before the very cameras was not how you had expected things to go. In fact, you were sure that he’d angled the both of you to face them, instead of trying to shy away. He didn’t want to hide you, and he wasn’t. The excessively loud roar that broke the crowd once more now fell pridefully to his ears. 

He wanted to show you off to the world, show these people around the  globe that they stood no chance besides you. He wanted the images to hit the news, be the main title of next week's People magazine. Miles’ wanted nothing more than having these girls holding up those outrageous signs to go back home with disappointment swarming their chests as they realise that he’ll only ever be with you, as mean as it sounds. 

You didn’t either expect the night ending up with you and Miles unable to keep your hands off of each other during the ride back home, him whispering all sorts of blarney talk into your ears as you gripped onto his shoulders for dear life, but that’d be a magazine-cover drama for another week. 

For now, you’d enjoy your giggle-filled ride back home as you both unceasingly requested for the chauffeur to replay the previous song. And amidst his annoyance, he had no other choice than to bother each time the song ended to press backwards on the limousine’s tactile screen. The music was a little too loud for his taste, but that’d be something that you could care about tomorrow morning. For now, you’d be too busy enjoying the tunes of Rema’s Charm with Miles to bother about anything else. 

-

IK there’s not much actual footballer!miles but this is just some sort of intro to the AU, if i choose to continue it…

[vidavalor]

Hi long time reader!

Sooooo I have a query. Here’s a piece of chocolate pie with meringue to help get through the back story.

I was watching season 1 again as I do weekly, but this time on my phone. I was on episode one right when Crowley delivers Adam to Tadfield Manor. Usually at this point when Crowley exits the car I’m usually watch the charming snake walk, this time I couldn’t see him as my picture was poor on my phone, but I was able to listen to Background noises.

Have you noticed that Crowley was listening to Save Me by Queen as he pulled up to Tadfield Manor? I find it fascinating considering what he just went through, and what he’s about to do.

Hi there! Mmmchocolatepie. I never mind backstory. 😊 Thanks for the ask and the dessert. 💕 I pulled up that scene and relistened because it's hard to hear since the sound is mixed low because of The Voice of God speaking at the same time. I can see why you'd hear "Save Me" as it sounds a bit like this part of this song but it's actually "It's a Hard Life", which also repeats a few minutes later when we come back to Crowley driving away from Tadfield. Both songs are very appropriate for this night, though. "Save Me" could have easily been played during the rest of the ride back.

Some thoughts on the significance of the choice of "It's a Hard Life" and very Aziraphale-ish aria that inspired it.

TW: Satan's attacks on Crowley.

"It's a Hard Life" by Queen is nearly over when Crowley pulls up to Tadfield Manor to deliver Lovely Little Tosie-Wozies to the satanic nuns. If you really crank it, you can hear this bit of the song:

"Yes, it's a hard life In a world that's filled with sorrow There are people searching for love in every way"

Arthur then tells Crowley that he left his lights on and Crowley flicks the power off of the car, shutting off the music and the lights, right at what would have been the "it's a long, hard fight" lyrics.

The song is about 90% over at this point. When we come back to Crowley driving away from Tadfield on the other side of the whole baby swap sequence, though, the beginning of "It's a Hard Life" is now playing.

We hear the lyrics more clearly now around Crowley's dialogue, when he tells his phone to call Aziraphale and then realizes all the mobile lines are busy because he brought them down earlier in the evening. As others have pointed out, the "you win/you lose/it's a chance you have to take with love" bit is playing when we come into the scene and when the phone is calling Aziraphale, the lyrics "oh yeah/I fell in love" are heard. (The very appropriate "And now you say it's over/And I'm falling apart" is then what is playing when Crowley can't get through to talk to Aziraphale.)

The song starting over in the next scene implies that Crowley is playing "It's a Hard Life" on repeat in the car during the drive back from Tadfield. It's actually the second song in the evening to play this way-- the first being "Bohemian Rhapsody." When Crowley rolled up to the graveyard, the song was in one spot before Crowley cuts the engine but when Crowley is attacked by Satan later on, he's played the song again since on the drive, as we are now at the "I see a little silhouetto of a man" part. Like we looked at in another meta, "Bohemian Rhapsody" winds up scoring the assault. The same song that's a genuinely hilarious choice for when Crowley rolls up to Hastur and Ligur takes on a nightmarish tone the second time we hear it.

After that? You wouldn't blame Crowley for putting on literally any other band on the planet for the rest of the drive, right? But he doesn't. He changes the song but not the band and the song he switches it to is "It's a Hard Life." And that's a good thing to not let Queen be taken from him but the song he chooses is kind of brutal in its own right, especially with regards to its origins. It ties to what I believe you are alluding in your Ask in a similar way to "Save Me."

The intro to "It's a Hard Life" is inspired by "Vesti la giubba", the aria that closes the first act of the opera, 'Pagliacci'. During this aria, the main character-- who, like a certain angel we know, performs on stage as an entertainer-- has to go on stage just after discovering that his wife has been unfaithful to him. Just to be really clear here: rape is not infidelity and I'm not saying it is. I'm also not saying that Aziraphale would ever see it that way, either, but I think Crowley might.

People who have a partner and are assaulted by someone who isn't that partner sometimes have, in the understandable mess of their emotions over it, the feeling that they've betrayed their partner. Crowley has a whole mess of feelings over his fall still and Satan's harm of him is obviously related to his fall. These conflicts over his fall are in large part because he seems to believe in an interpretation of the "there and all the kingdoms thereof" idea of God that he references in the St. James' Park scene later in the same episode. That is a paraphrased quote from David in The Bible and refers to the idea that God is in everything.

The idea is that since God is God, She could intervene and right any injustice that She sees fit to right; so, if there is no intervention, then the interpretation must be that God must see what has happened as fitting. I think this is at the root of Crowley still believing that maybe he's not the most evil being who ever existed but that he did deserve to fall-- something that, ironically, Aziraphale often seems more inclined to disagree with. Aziraphale's conflict over viewing God in this way-- which he kind of does or at least thinks he ought to-- is that he genuinely doesn't believe that God is infallible. Aziraphale believes in Her less than Crowley does, even if Crowley's the one who fell. He's angry with her over what She's let happen to Crowley (and to countless others, in different ways) and he's confused and troubled by why She still sees him as an angel when he's arguably gone against her more than Crowley ever did.

In reality, God in GO in S1 is heavily suggesting that She views the universe as the dominion of Her creations-- it's their world. If She were to intervene, She'd be undermining their free will. God doesn't seek to oppress them and She doesn't demand their subservience-- She roots for their freedom and happiness. Falling is political. Crowley and Aziraphale get that on some level but they still think that God has a hand in it. She does not. She's not really behind The Metatron. If She were, it would go against Her own ideas of her creations being autonomous individuals who can make their own choices and seek their own happiness.

Crowley actually has it totally right here:

But he tends to think (and there likely is) a little element of determinism mixed in with that free will, as he's a romantic. We see at other times that he has believes God made he and Aziraphale for each other.

As a less-operatic-but-Good-Omens-related song puts it: "but somewhere in my wicked, miserable past/I must have done something good", right?

"Vesti la giubba", though, is a whole song about the pain living beneath a happy exterior-- the tears beneath the smile of the entertainer and the pain behind a "the show must go on" sort of attitude. It's very Aziraphale. The story makes it clear that Aziraphale is aware of what being a demon involves for Crowley and while Aziraphale has a steely strength to him that a lot of people don't see (but that Crowley does), he's also, as we know, tender-hearted. All of this has been crushing him for more years than either of them can count.

Aziraphale puts on a brave face and makes and acts as a safe haven but imagine how powerless all of this would make him feel...

I see evidence that Aziraphale didn't totally believe "The Metatron" in 2.06 (or was fully convinced that it actually was The Metatron) but part of him wants it to be true because he thinks it would solve problems he feels helpless to solve. I see a lot of people say it's because he needs Crowley to be an angel-- it's not. Aziraphale already thinks Crowley is an angel, more than he himself is. It's because they promised him the power to make sure that Crowley would be safe forever and even though it's not the life either of them want, it tempts Aziraphale because he feels like he has never been able to fully give Crowley that himself.

With "It's a Hard Life" on repeat, they have Crowley driving around in the middle of the night in 2008 listening to a song inspired by Aziraphale: The Aria that's about a loving relationship running out of time, all after having to meet Hell in a graveyard (worse after S2 when you factor in 1827) and after being hand-picked to start the end of the world by his rapist, who assaults him while he's driving, nearly causes him to kill a human in an oncoming truck-- and all while he was supposed to be having dinner and a night ironically inspired by Rome with Aziraphale.

"It's a Hard Life" is also so Crowley, too, though... the droll-in-the-face-of-misery "this is a tricky situation" at the start, the romantic and determined "I'll say I did it for love" at the end...

...but also the "and I've only myself to blame."

It all really adds weight, though, to how, eleven years later, it's only at Tadfield Manor and on the dark road around Tadfield at night in The Bentley-- this time with Aziraphale-- that Crowley's emotions spill over as he's thinking of 2008 and Aziraphale is hit by waves of love.

"It's a long hard fight/To learn to care for each other/To trust in one another right from the start/When you're in love..."

[fushiglow]

Me: 'aw no i shouldnt read a fic set in the music industry, it'll get me sad about abandoning my own dreams; nope nuhuh, apologies, moving on' -> fast forward a few weeks -> i see ur fic pop up every now n then on both ao3 n tmblr, tempting me to read it -> fast forward again, it's tday -> i end up caving in eventually when i see it on my dash again; checked out the first chapter while having lunch earlier. Got H o o k e d by ur narrative. And so i inhaled two more chaptrs a sec ago while commuting back home aaaaand lil old me proceeded to be WILDLY inspired by ch4 shenanigans and immediately i >Needed< to relisten to the Liszt performance, seeing it anew yet again, and then also dug up some soundtracks i made once upon a time when id been fooling around w the idea of expressing myself thru music -> fast forward again, im home now, n getting all giddy ab it, cheeks flushed n feeling alive, i tell u - im about to dust my piano n just smash at the keys for the till-now-abandoned fun of it, first time in forever. (It won't be good, but it'll be real, it'll be me.) I just. I feel the raw emotion in your fic and it made my heart pound while reading it. You >get it< jfc. (Also satosugu n others work So Well in ur story, so in character, u make it look so natural, as if jjk had always been ab music production and not a grimdark shounen). I only just finished the 4th chapter and im not caught up yet, but i couldnt have waited to tell u my thoughts so. There goes!! ((Also even months later im still deeply wounded by canon so i feel like im irrevocably dysregulated when it comes to engaging w satosugu haha, apologies if i come off strong. U just combined two passions of mine into one fic and im feeling So Fucking Grateful i wanna kiss u on the forehead and bless u for seven generations forward. Again - i havent yet finished what u've already dished out (bless ur soul for posting ur work holyhell) so ima come back when i have more unhinged thoughts as i read. Your writing is so On Point i can't contain myself (my heart is singing w joy because when i connect w the writing style i connect HARD. And lemme tell u, your style is both intense and light and professional and that's my fav combo, ima go n cry over my piano now bye. Until next time, ily sm) (also sorry about this longass ask, it was meant to be a oneliner but it got away from me bc.. Emotions, damn) -royce

Oh... Um...

Excuse me while I fucking cry over MY piano, what the actual fuck 😭 I think this is the biggest compliment I could possibly receive, you have NO FUCKING IDEA how happy it makes me to read that my fic inspired you to sit down at the piano again, holy shit???

cheeks flushed n feeling alive, i tell u - im about to dust my piano n just smash at the keys for the till-now-abandoned fun of it, first time in forever. (It won't be good, but it'll be real, it'll be me.)

I am sobbing and kicking my feet all at once at this image, I love you I love you I love you. Please tell me, how did it go?? Did you have fun? Did it feel good? God, I hope it did!!! 😭

I started writing this fic to heal some of my own hurt about leaving a career in music behind, so I'm writing this for people like you and me. You're my ideal reader and you couldn't POSSIBLY come off too strong. PLEASE come back with your unhinged thoughts, I will gladly scream with you about this — in fact, I'm desperate to do exactly that!

Royce, you're everything. Thank you so much for all your lovely words about my writing too, this soothes all of my doubts about deciding to post something so deeply self-indulgent all those months ago. This is for YOU 🫶

as if jjk had always been ab music production and not a grimdark shounen

Also, what do you mean? That's what it's about, isn't it? 👀

[sunless-not-sinless]

For the music ask thing! 9, 16 and 28

yoo thank you for the ask thing!

9:A song that makes you happy

this is honestly a pretty tough one. songs that i enjoy listening to are like, each and every one of them. but songs that make me happy are few and far between, and are always always linked to very very personal reasons, so even if theyre songs that are meant to make you feel sad it reminds me of happy moments. and gods i dont listen to them often because i am bad(tm) with strong emotions. but i had to get that out the way because little pistol by Mother Mother is meant to be a sad song, but it makes me happy!

16:One of your favorite classical songs

(said it before. im a Jonathon Creek girlie so i have to mention the Danse Macabre, but!) i was gonna say music for a found harmonium by Penguin Cafe Orchestra, but i misclicked when i was gonna relisten to it, and listened to perpetuum mobile by them for the first time. and yes ikik the first time you hear a song itll sound fucking phenomenal but its a new favourite! (also Ever So Blue does great stuff to listen to while studying!)

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

god knows im bad at narrowing down lists, so ill just give you a ""short"" list with the song that made me put them on the list. Hayley Heynderickx (the bug collector), The Changing Room (roev sos roev), Odie Leigh (a month or two), Minami (honest diary), Hope Sandoval (paradise circus - Massive Attack), Paris Paloma (Notre Dame), Elizabeth Fraser (sea, swallow me - Cocteau Twins, teardrop - Massive Attack), Tracy Chapman (across the lines), Moses Sumney (bystanders), Gary B.B. Coleman (the sky is crying), Lau Noah (if a tree fell in love with a river), Liana Flores (recently,), Rush (tom sawyer), Beetlebug (hallow's eve masquerade), Johnny Cash (i walk the line, hurt), Poor Man's Poison (stronger than the whiskey), Gwenno (ardamm), Cab Calloway (minnie the moocher), Louis Armstrong (what a wonderful world, st. james infirmary), and this is all i can think of rn. i love love all of those voices for (mostly) different reasons.

but! the ultimate voice for me will always (i.e. right now) be Cy Grant. holy. fucking. shit. his voice is sososososo good. peak. absolute peak shit. its the sorta shit that just hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is perfect perfect for me even if it isnt for others.

[wrecking]

october! slowly getting better about listening to new music, and i think it shows! open for names :)

going to put little explanations by each one cuz i don't have any predictions for november this time!

lorde - pure heroine : this one's just kinda snuck up on me, i've been revisiting where i was in 2017 a lot as of late and this album was like Integral to me then. it's still flawless btw top 3 of all time

cafune - love songs for the end : i just am a weirdly big fan of them? literally every song except shadowboxing has been a Thing for me at some point. currently it's dead 2 me (so naive)

the volunteers - the volunteers : just a really fun rock record?? reminds me of wolf alice which i LOVE blue weekend

jessica lea mayfield - make my head sing : my random country/grunge sneak, she's been a super obscure fave of mine for many years and this album just kinda hit recently with the whole resurgent trauma energy

lucy dacus - home video : to be honest i haven't been STREAMING this that much, but instead i've literally been singing the songs in my day-to-day life. partner in crime, brando, christine, please stay... literally integral to my functioning

ethel cain - preacher's daughter : i took this off rotation for a few months to avoid getting sick of it bc truthfully i could just stream it on loop forever. been really obsessed with thoroughfare and strangers as of late

paramore - re: this is why : remi wolf's version of you first kinda carried, but tbh i've just been enjoying this? i really love the base album, but i also deeply love having the alt versions to diversify the rotation

troye sivan - something to give each other : i'm sorry but he just makes good music. one of your girls & silly go fucking crazy

pretty sick - makes me sick makes me smile : this is just some trashy emo teenager rock thing but it's just kind of a vibe? lilith song has been on my mind forever

vashti bunyan - just another diamond day : i didn't really fall in DEEP love with this in the way others did, and i think she has better albums, but i would be lying if i said i didn't revisit this the most atm. title track and (the not-technically-on-it-but-it-should've-been) train song rattle around my brain constantly

hitsujibungaku - our hope : god this is one of those releases i can't tire of. i'm so excited for their new album... thank you random youtube recommendations for showing me the video to one of the songs by pure chance

big thief - dragon new warm mountain i believe in you : the juggernaut of the chart has returned... i've just been revisiting this a lot and god is it still so exquisite... the only place and dried roses supremacy

the dead texan - the dead texan : i've been meaning to listen to this ambient thing all year and god i'm glad i did. peak vibes

anri - timely!! : i have a couple of like super recurrect city pop releases as this time last year i did a big deep dive into the genre, and this is the one that consistently pops up the most just because it's SO catchy and fun. well worth the hype imo

midori - shinsekai : absolutely batshit jazz and punk fusions, track 3 has the singer making gorilla sounds and i've been obsessed with it ever since. what is up with the one random man ballad in the center tho

yeule - softscars : first time i heard this it floored me so hard i almost cried. i never really clicked with her stuff but this just makes sense to me? it's messy and big and bold and earnest and hurt and it just fits where i am rn

alvvays - blue rev : god the sleeper classic of all time for me. the way i didn't care about it for like several months after hearing it and now it's basically a mainstay. such is the power of putting bored in bristol on your album

otoboke beaver - itekoma hits : this goes hand in hand with shinsekai. just batshit insane fast punk music it's great and fun i love it

shygirl - nymph : tbh this only got a relisten from me bc it's a year after its release, and honestly? well worth it. i didn't really love alias but this has really stuck the landing w me

taylor swift - midnights : ok so i know this is gonna be the like "why is this on here" one but like hear me out. see above that i was revisiting stuff a year after it came out, and also this was like The First Thing Announced When I Got Home. tbh my horrible hot take is that this is kind of a comfort album for me now?? it reminds me of oct '22 when i felt like for once in my fucking life things were gonna be ok. it's not her best but what can you do

olivia rodrigo - guts : this is like a single hair away from fully confirmed as my aoty this year and i hate it bc i look so basic but also consider: it is just that good to me

kero kero bonito - time n place : dear future self and swimming were big moments for me during this time in 2018, and my life is kinda eerily lining up with 2018 again so hearing a song called "dear future self" that reminds me of that time is a lot to process

ariana grande - thank u, next : random ass pick i know, but idk! it's her best, it's very subtly a concept album and it's unironically thematically coherent if you're terminally online enough to read into it thoroughly. also fake smile, bad idea, bloodline, in my head, etc. just slap sorry

pearly drops - a little disaster : thank you kabob for giving me the push to give this a shot. after grimes went full unsupportable, i kinda have been itching to fill the niche she used to fill vocally, and honestly this fits? it's weirdly glacial and funny and deadpan kinda it's fun i like this album a lot

lamp - at komoyo street : i'm sorry but one of the best album covers of all time and the music lives up to the hype

-

ok that's all of them whew jesus christ

next month is relatively light on new releases, so i'll probs just play catchup with all the insane shit i have in my backlog. see you next month!

[acourtofladydeath]

🎵❤️ you better watch out, you better not cry. you better not pout, I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to your inbox 💚🎵

Hello acourtofladydeath darling,

It’s Rhys Santa 🥰

I’m happy to say that your present has an outline now!!!! In the future my questions will likely be more targeted to the fic itself (without giving too much away hopefully) but this week they are broader because I’m curious.

• If you had to choose (which you do because I’m asking) what is your favorite scene in the acotar series? If you’d like to tell me your other maasverse favs as well, feel free.

My favorite scene is probably in acofas when Feyre and Cassian drunk decorate the townhouse and Azriel comes in and fixes everything then gets caught guzzling Rhys’s wine. The rest of that night obviously doesn’t go too great, but I love that glimpse of their happiness and Azriel letting himself be fully present with his family for once.

• What do you love to do when you aren’t writing or reading?

I’m omitting a few things to ensure my anonymity, but I really enjoy spending time with my family and friends and taking my dog on long walks and cooking 😁

• What is your favorite food? What is your favorite beverage?

I struggle to answer these honestly because I love food, but one of my favorites that I’m currently craving is French onion soup. For beverages I think I have to say coffee ☕️

• Finally, one minor fic-related thing: what do you think Eris smells like?

Have a wonderful Friday and weekend ❤️

Santa, this has been an incredibly hard week and it's like someone told you to stop by. Thank the gods for that. Amazing, as always, to hear from you.

Soooo excited to hear you have an outline!! I'm here for whatever you've got stewin' up.

Okay, I am putting a cut here. Major ACOTAR, TOG, and CC spoilers below said cut. You've been warned, reader.

I think my favorite ACOTAR series scene might be Nesta wielding the sword for the first time and saying "never again". I needed that in my life and it's a moment that always makes me cry with joy and sorrow and righteousness not only for her, but for myself.

Honorable mentions that would also be top choices if you weren't making me pick just one: Chapter 54 (ACOMAF), Cass and Az saving Feyre and Lucien through her reunion with Rhys, Suriel and "leave this world better than you found it", Cassian's death dance at the battle at Summer, and basically the entirety of the battle of Hybern starting with Rhys's speech and getting increasingly better with every single twist until Cassian's speech (still the best Nessian moment). And almost any time Lucien or Eris speak is a high point for me. I just relistened to the scene where Lucien, Cassian, and Eris were meeting with Vassa and Jurian and when I tell you I was on the edge of my seat the entire time I truly mean it, I love getting the brothers interacting with each other and Lucien putting Cassian in his fucking place. ACOWAR is my favorite book, and then ACOSF.

My favorite TOG moments are when Aelin and Aedion reunite after she saves him from the King, and when Dorian and Chaol reunite after his collar is off and Chaol falls from the tower. Also losing the 13 to a white yielding with Asterin bear-breasted fucking that grandma up, and Aelin giving Gavriel the blood oath postmortem. Ruin me Sara Janet, just ruin me.

Crescent City favorite moments: Bryce with the vacuum and Hunt getting out of that crown of thorns and tearing the place to shreds. Danika helping her make the drop, and Bryce seeing the pack by the water's edge (I don't trust that shit anymore for a gods damned second after book 2 BUT IT WAS STILL NICE WHILE IT LASTED). Bryce helping Hunt in the shower as well. The interactions between Flynn, Declan, Tharion, and Ithan in book 2 while they're doing research made me giddy. "That lightning thing" Hunt does will always fucking get me.

OKAY SO NOW THAT I'VE ONLY JUST ANSWERED THE FIRST QUESTION.

When I'm not reading or writing, I really love cooking. I like experimenting with new things, and typically watch a show or listen to a book while I'm at it. It's about to be soup season and I'm very excited! I'm also learning sous vide and hope to use that more. I also really enjoy creating things, and will paint or craft most of my Christmas gifts if I have the time. I also enjoy taking long walks!! I go for "book walks" where I go full on Belle and literally walk like 3+ miles while reading my book. I've been told it's skill by those who have witnessed it. It's a great time!

Favorite food. If you can't tell I'm bad at picking just one thing. I'd say my favorite dish is frutti de mare. But every year for my birthday I make myself surf and turf. I also love sushi and the process of making sushi. I'm still trying to get the rice juuuuust right. My favorite drink is a good coffee in the morning and a Manhattan at night.

I think Eris smells like a hot flames on a brisk wind with a touch of nutmeg. Not very smokey though, it's that close to the roaring fire smell that you can feel burn your nose hairs. And he leaves behind the crisp sweetness of decaying leaves. The scent of death and a coming rebirth, like Eris will be for his father and his court.

[maxellminidisc]

Thanks to @robotpussy for tagging me to ask what 4 albums I've been listening to as of late:

1) Kim Kwang-Seok 4th by Kim Kwang-Seok (I just love a folk singer, also something about his voice caught my attention the first time I heard him, theres something incredibly warm and homey about it. The song on this album that caught me was "나무 아픈 사랑은 사랑이 아니었음을" on a friends playlist. The rest of this album is such a feast of well crafted ballads and folk songs carried by an incredibly emotive voice.)

2) Die 4 Ur Love- Tei Shi (I find this a really perfect EP for when you're like in one of those weird lost moods where you could like bite somebody instead of just be sad and you want to just indulge in your own attitude even if it's not great. A lot of reviewers called this a weak EP but fuck them, this was fun. I've had "OK crazy" on a loop for weeks lol)

3) Heaven To A Tortured Mind- Yves Tumor (I'm giving their work a thorough relisten as a whole to gear up for the new album in a few days! But god this is really one of the best albums of the decade to me. The mixing and production on "Gospel For A New Century" (specifically the way the multiple horn samplings were so masterfully spliced to create such a stunning instrumental and mood) was such a smart choice to open the album with, because it only goes up from there to blow your fucking mind. Tumor's use of dissonance and sometimes overstimulating landscapes of sounds is so sick.)

4) Circle: the 1st Album- Onew (I could've been stupidly biased and put the March kpop release that's been eating my attention span the MOST right now (looking at you Kai), but I think Onew deserves just as much hype for this excellent album. Another fucking stellar example of how to open your album with a song that both embodies your concept but also serves as the end and the sonic rebirth of an ouroborus-esque album as it ends and starts again. The entire album delivers stunning clean and playful pop production, theres a real confidence in Onew's delivery here that just cant be ignored . What I will say, the commonality I find in both this album and Rover by Kai is that both artists are delivering a sort of renewedness about them that I appreciate so much: Onew in that he's stepping into his unique sense of artistry that's paying off in the album itself, while Kai is delivering a more challenging and exploratory EP in comparison to his first two. They both made my March!)

I tag: @kelvintimeline @bagofbonesmp3 @afro-elf (god I'd love to hear your thoughts on the new Hozier after I give it a listen!) And anybody else who sees this and wants to try.

[the-better-rainbow-unikitty]

Comfort things tag game

Thanks for the tag, @notgoodatcreatingnames ☺️ I love tag games!

Comfort Show: Honestly, I don't know. I don't really watch anything lately. Used to be HIMYM when I was younger (I would just put it on and leave it playing for days at a time lol), but I don't really have one now.

Comfort Movie: Repo! The Genetic Opera. It's a creepy, gory horror musical and I've loved it since I've first seen it.

Comfort Song: Inkpot Gods by TAD. It always gives me so much hope hope and strength to go on.

Comfort Book: I don't really have one and never had. I used to read lots of books (not anymore), but there just wasn't one that would work as a comfort item for me.

Comfort Article of Clothing: My fluffy, plushy light blue bathrobe 💙 Oh, and fluffy socks.

Comfort Food: Anything sweet, preferably with loads of chocolate.

Comfort Place: Well... My grandparents have a cottage in the country, I spent a lot of time there as a kid and have fond memories of it. So I'd say that's my comfort place. It's kind of far away from where I currently live, but whenever I visit and walk through the cottage's garden alone, I feel at peace.

Comfort YouTube Channel & Comfort Podcast: No YouTube channel, I've stopped using YouTube a few years back. BUT! My comfort podcast is Malevolent, I love it SO MUCH. It's the perfect combination of horror, mystery and comedy and I breathe for it! I'm currently in the middle of my third relisten and I still notice new amazing details I have missed before. It is such an incredible work of art!

No pressure tags: @0ndhim @cloud-in-the-clouds @asleepyteen @wolfstar4466 @moss-and-crows @mayhem-plant @genderisaliesowhyshouldihaveone (and anyone who stumbles upon this and wants to do it)

[an-album-a-day]

Viva Las Vengance by Panic! at the Disco

Genres: Pop Rock, Glam Rock, Power Pop, Rock and Roll.

This is the seventh album by Panic!, and it is now officially their last.

This is a post I didn't want to write. I heard snippets of this album on social media and listened to Viva Las Vengence the song when it came out. I hated everything I heard and didn't want to stain the memory of what was once my favourite band. Now that "the band disbanded" (Brandon decided he won't write any shit anymore), I felt a little weird not listening to the final part of their discography, given how impactful that band was to me in middle and high school. So I decided to listen to it.

The only songs I liked were ones where I could hear bits and pieces of the band they used to be: Viva Las Vengenace, Don't let the light go out, Local God (if it weren't about Ryan Ross), and Something about Maggie.

I actually had to listen to the album twice to get an actual opinion on it. The first time I listened to it, I thought "Hey, this isn't that bad". But that's what the album is trying to do. It's music for people who don't think twice about what they're listening to. This album is a confused collections of songs which are trying to be Theatrical, clever and interesting. Brandon completely and utterly failed at doing so. The actual result lies between weird, awful and sometimes painful to listen to.

But I think this is enough about this awful album. I'd like to title the rest of this post "A love letter to Panic! at the Disco".

before listening to VLV, I decided to take a tour of their discography, listening to each album once chronologically before I listened to their final one. I felt two conflicting and opposite emotions doing so- I felt like I was both touring a graveyard and reliving my middle school years at the same time. From the grooviness and fun of Time To Dance, Lying is the most fun, Nine in the afternoon, Hurricane and so on, straight to the almost flashbacks of ninth grade I've had while listening to The End Of All Things, Always, and such. I was reminded of how much this band shaped me. Of how much of my teen years were inspired by Panic!. Panic! were my favourite band for I think around 5 yeras. from 7th grade up until right before I started this account and expanding my musical taste. They were the soundtrack to the hard times I had with studying in High School. When I hung out and laughed with friends in middle scool, Panic! played. When I cried, I comforted myself with Panic. When I was bored with something, I played Panic to entertain myself.

The last time I've listened to their albums was when covering them here. It was closer to relistening than rediscovering them like it felt now. I was still in High School, and I covered them because I ran behind by a few days.

I don't think I've listened to a single Panic song since then. Not because I didn't like them, I just fell in love with other music.

And I fell in love with them again The band I loved so much was as good as I remembered. Having gained some distance from high school, and having enlisted in the army, feeling the way I felt when listening to some pop punk and alternative rock is a weird feeling. It feels like coming home on a wednesday with a shit ton of math homework, and ignoring it to instead play minecraft with friends. It feels like going to school on a monday, bored out of your mind, wishing you could read your book instead. It feels like going to the library on a friday and coming back with 10 books, and giving half of them back by Sunday. It feels like going to the mall with friends and talking about who likes who and how mean is your English teacher.

It feels like Home.

And I want to thank them. Thank you Panic for your years with me.

Thank you for being the band which shaped me the most.

Thank you Ryan Ross for forming this band I love so much Thank you Dallon Weeks for going the way you went with TWTLTRTD, possibly my favourite album by them. could've done without the last two albums Brandon, But thank you all. Thank you for being my adolescence.

[popstarryeyed]

first impression of midnights:

a few general observations

- with the '70s vibes of her announcement videos i was assuming this album was going to be sonically '70s, especially bc nu-disco is my preferred genre for nighttime drives and that seemed like a good fit for the theme of midnights. like i was straight-up hoping for a song to go on that playlist and then i didn't get one. oh well

- i think my opinions are spoiled a little by the fact that i saw a video on twitter of something who didn't like jack antonoff's production pointing out that the songs are really notably jack antonoff-sounding. i like his work generally but he does have a sound and now that i hear it on this album i can't unhear it

song by song

lavender haze - oh god she's talking about her reputation again. i like the imagery of the lavender haze and how floaty it gets but will she just. stop

maroon - "so scarlet it's maroon" is a stupid line that unfortunately kinda ruins the song bc it's the title lyric

anti-hero - a little bit too on-the-nose at times, and it's about her fucking reputation again, but i do always have a soft spot for songs about feeling monstrous and terrible and i definitely resonate with the whole "it's hard rooting for the anti-hero" bc it IS hard being a taylor swift fan. thank you for acknowledging my struggle, for too long i have suffered in silence

(that's not true. i complain a lot about her)

snow on the beach - my two "anti-hero" faves on the same track should've been much better or much worse than this. lana is barely on it, and they could've easily added more - like that overlapping bit at the end is a choir of taylors! why would they do the one-woman choir thing if there's another artist on the track? baffling choice.

you're on your own, kid - i liked the part that seemed to be talking about her childhood, zoned out at some point when she started talking about being older. i've heard about your reputation, yes

midnight rain - there was one that had good lyrics but a pitch-shifted voice i hated. i think this was the one.

question - a little bit confusing whose perspective she was singing from, but i like the idea of challenging someone who hurt you to think about it from your perspective

vigilante shit - eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man? in the year of our lord 2022? god. this is really giving me reputation vibes

bejeweled - the imagery is giving slinky dresses smoky bar big band vintage elegance but the instrumental is giving jack antonoff

labyrinth - i tripped and accidentally unplugged my string lights during this one so mostly i was fumbling around trying to rehang them. the fact that the song was not interesting enough to distract me from fixing the lights is not a good sign, but i also didn't give it a fair shake

karma - more reputation vibes. please stop

sweet nothing - the only lyric that sank in was something about how there's so much pressure to be political and she's too soft for it. and something about all he expects from her is sweet nothing. which is...a good thing? i'll need to relisten to tell

mastermind - taylor kinda revealing herself to be a creep here but also i totally get trying to control situations to your advantage bc nobody liked you as a kid. tentatively my favorite

honestly i'm pretty disappointed on first listen. she's rehashing a lot of old territory imo and the samey-ness of the production isn't helping. i'm gonna have to re-listen (and check out the extended edition) but i'm not really feeling it. 'tis a shame.

[pumpkintheriddlemaster]

do you have a favorite tma episode? :)

I’m so sorry this took me so long to get too, I just had a hard time trying to pick?!?

I couldn’t choose so now I’m gonna make it everyone else’s problem in this text response.

Like ok, the first that always comes to mind is MAG 65: Binary and MAG 74: Fatigue.

Binary because the thought of an Internet creepypasta being a real actual thing that exists in universe is the funniest thing imaginable.

Also how lovely the story is told! God such a good episode.

But like, there’s also Fatigue which like, keeps popping up in my mind low key only because there was a Uquize that gave you “what statement giver you are” and I got Lydia Halligan for ep 74 and it’s stayed rent free in my head so now it’s one of the few episodes that pop up in my head when someone asks.

Also that and you can feel the fact the jonny wrote this sleep deprived, bless.

I also, unfortunately, live in a constant state of fatigue so much relations to be had 😔.

BUT WAIT!!! THERES MORE???

Yes there’s more I love horror.

MAG 177: Wonderland is my absolute #1 fear and actually concern irl so I tend to actually really like and really relate to it? Like my body is in pain a good percentage of my time alive and more things keep popping up that are Concerning!™️ but going to the doctor about it gives me pause because of past experiences. I’ve also straight up broke down when I came home once because of anxiety and the fact that I Hate Being Touched And Doctor Had to Poke And Prod At Me And I Didn’t Like How I Was Spoken Too And So Much More ;-;. It’s just a good episode that Hits, me, in the face, at Full Speed!!!

Other eps I like for no other reason other then “Vibes Hard” are 24: Strange Music, 81: A Guest For Mr. Spider (huh I Wonder Why), 87: The Uncanny Valley (lmao), and 22: Colony (lmao I wonder why that one as well)

Also another I like for funny reasons is MAG 165: Revolutions because of someone on tumblr put the statement to a lowfi beat and it fucking ruled.

There are probably more that I might like more but it’s been a while since I’ve listened as I have the “can’t really pay attention or enjoy anything I like lately if I’ve already heard it before even if I really really really like said thing” disease. Which I believe comes from the depression side of my ADHD :/

(This has also started to effective my enjoyment of new things as well. :( man :( my brain sucks :(...)

So my rule of thumb is, if I remember it and it’s not the first few eps then it’s up there on my list!!! :D (because the first eps are truly sooooooooosososo good!) I also left out any that just had moments I liked after the statements as I wanted to focus on the statements and horror stories themselves! Not just for my undying admiration and love for Asexual King Jon Jarchivist J Jim’s and Martin Kartin Blackwood. Oh how I love them dearly <3

I can however tell you the ep I absolutely can not listen to again tho!!!

No matter how many time I relisten (or attempt to, stupid brain) I can never listen to MAG 6: Squirm ever again! I just can’t! My sex-repulsed ass was already second-guessing listening when I heard the episodes description for the first time. And then it got worse as I listened because EW GOD NO WHY EW. Like ew god the implications??? 😨 like I already think it’s gross but the worms make it more gross and horrifying. I already remember all the relevant information form the first time around! I don’t need another go! thank you! Have a good day!

Also side note, not anywhere near my favorite or least favorite (tho I can still relisten to it, mag 6 is the only one I can’t) but MAG 172: Strung Out scares me. Not in a “I relate to this” kind of way, I have never done a drug in my life and find it to be a waist of my time, hell I don’t even drink for the same reason. (Plus looking at my ADHD and some of my heritage, I’d be much more prone to addiction anyways.) To me it’s a waist of time and money and not something I care for as, surprise! I don’t like losing or being out of my own control! This ep scares me the same way it would probably scare Mr. GhostHunter Shane Madej.

Anyways! There’s my TMA episode thought! :D

[sunmoonandeddie]

oh, captain, my captain

pairing: professor!steve rogers x reader

word count: 2,090

summary: Steve Rogers got bored in his retirement, so he picked up the hobby of teaching art. But he still feels restless until his missing piece comes along.

warnings: swearing, little bit of smutty smut, dub-con, drinking, manipulation, steve is a little dark but reader is into it in the end

a/n: This is... a little darker than what most people expect from me. But I wrote this for a dear friend, so I really, really hope you all enjoy it!! Also, please read the warnings. I'm not responsible for your media consumption <3

Life after the Avengers was mundane.

Not that Steve didn’t like the quiet days, where he knew he wasn’t going to be running off and risking his life at any moment, mind you. In fact, he was finding that retirement rather suited him.

Except for the fact that he was bored.

Bucky and Sam were always busy on some kind of mission together, saving the world and splitting their time between Brooklyn, Washington D.C., and New Orleans. Or NOLA, as Buck liked to call it now.

Perhaps the boredom was why he took up art again. He did go to art school, after all, and had even graduated. It was after his first official professional art show that the university contacted him.

They wanted him to teach young minds how to make art.

It was the perfect solution to his boredom problem.

Of course, he should’ve realized that getting a new job wouldn’t make him feel complete. No, unfortunately, he hasn’t found the missing piece in his hundred years.

At least until you walked into his classroom on the first day.

Steve’s eyes focused on you immediately, enamored by the curve of your legs and the Cupid’s bow of your upper lip. “Hello, you,” he mumbled softly under his breath as he watched you sit down to what appeared to be a friend of yours. He scrolled through his attendance on the school supplied computer in front of him, raising his brows as he found the name next to your university ID picture.

A perfect name for a perfect girl.

Suddenly he felt the need to have a few figure drawing classes. Privately. With you. With your clothes off.

And maybe his clothes would be off, too.

He stood up as the clock finally hit one in the afternoon, holding his laptop. “Alright, please let me know if you’re here as I call your names,” he said, before going through the roster quickly.

When he called your name, and you responded with a soft, “Here!” he almost fucking came in his pants.

“Alright. In this class, as with many art classes, we’re going to get very… personal,” he said as he started to walk through the easels and those sitting in front of them. “So on the first day, rather than reading through the syllabus that’s readily available on your phone, I like to do some ice breakers.” He couldn’t help but grin at the collective groan that rang through the class. “I know, I know. But like I said, this class is going to get very personal. So come on, let’s all get in a little closer.”

“Do you mind?” You asked quietly as you scooted her stool in between two others that he couldn’t remember the names of. You gave them a blinding smile as they made room, perching in your seat like a little angel.

His little angel.

Everything seemed to be a blur as he led them in a series of questions, but he barely retained any information from anyone except you. At least he had his phone secretly recording in his pocket so he could go back and relisten later (even if it was mostly just to hear your voice.)

Favorite color?

“Green.”

Favorite holiday?

“New Year’s Eve.”

Favorite artist?

“Marilyn Minter.”

That was interesting to him. That showed that you had a naughty side.

A side he so desperately wanted to get to know.

The only issue was that he needed to find a way to get you alone, and that was going to take trust built up over time.

He was truthfully, absolutely amazed that it only took a few weeks before you were coming to him with wonder-filled eyes, asking him if you could please schedule some time during his office hours to go over some of your portfolio.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

“Hey, you made it,” he said when you walked in after a light knock on the door, your portfolio in hand. Steve stood and immediately pulled out the chair for you like a proper gentleman. Subtly, he took in a deep breath as the cloud of your perfume enveloped him like a warm hug.

It was something classy. Something you had clearly splurged on.

Perhaps Gucci or Valentino or something.

“I’m sorry for being late,” you said as Steve glanced at the clock.

You were maybe three minutes late at the most.

“The subway was delayed, and unfortunately, I can’t control when the subway stops and goes,” you continued, letting out a nervous laugh as you opened up your portfolio. “Did you get my email with my previous pieces?”

“Yes, I did!” He said as he sat back down at his desk. “And honestly, I haven’t been this impressed in a long, long time. I would love to possibly mentor you? Of course, that means a lot more hours spent with an old man like me.” Eyes crinkling, he couldn’t help but laugh when you laughed.

He was sure that he almost had you right where he wanted you. The corner you were backing yourself into was almost too perfect.

You seemed… amazed. Absolutely flabbergasted by his offer. “Really?” You breathed out, leaning closer, elbows resting on your knees. “You’d really do that? That would be… I… Thank you.” Shaking your head, you scooted your chair a little closer. “How much should I pay you? I’ve never had a personal mentor before.”

And there it was. The corner he wanted you in.

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t worry about money,” he insisted as he looked deep into your eyes. It would be so easy to just get lost in them… “But, I do need assistance with something.”

“Of course!” You were like a doe-eyed little fawn, chasing him—the magnificent stag—through a field of wildflowers. “Whatever you want!”

Steve put on the most bashful, boy next door look he could muster. “Well… I’ve been trying to get back into figure drawing, but you’d be surprised at how hard it is finding a class to take that won’t freak out that I’m… you know. Steve Rogers.”

The look on you face let him know immediately there was no way you were going to say no. Hell, you were looking at him like he was the last puppy on the side of the road in a box that had ‘FREE’ written on the side.

In the rain.

“When do we start?”

Steve got everything set up in his home studio that night, only to sit until Friday night, when he’d planned for you to come over. Admittedly, he may have gone a little overboard with the mood lighting and the bottle of red wine that he’d left open on the counter to breathe, two crystal wine glasses resting next to it.

The good crystal.

He practically ran to the door when he heard the doorbell. “Hey, I was a little worried you would have trouble finding it,” he said as he guided you inside, a large hand coming to rest on the small of your back.

“Oh, I just Ubered,” you said, ducking your head as you let him lead you into his large home. “I don’t have a car. It’s too expensive and there’s no point when I live in the city. Though, the drive out here was absolutely gorgeous. I can see why you got a place a little bit upstate.”

Steve grinned, fighting the urge to say that it could also be your place. But that was for the future. “Yeah, the views and the quiet is worth the forty-five minutes or so I commute everyday.” He opened up the door to his home studio, all the windows wide open.

You wandered around the room, looking at the various art supplies and canvases scattered haphazardly around the room. In the very center was a chaise lounge with a blanket draped across it. “This is amazing… God, if I had my own art studio at home, I don’t think I’d ever leave.”

He poured out two glasses of wine, gently pressing one into your hands. “Well, you can always use this one. I have more space than I could probably ever use.” He sipped at his own wine, watching the way the glass pressed to your lips, watching the way you swallowed down the sweet liquid.

He couldn’t get drunk, but you certainly could.

It was around your third glass that he finally got to the point of why you were there. “So, I really want to paint you lying on this chaise,” he said as he guided you back. “But… Would it be possible for you to pose in the nude? You have just… the most natural beauty. I want to be able to only focus on that.”

“Oh my god, yeah!” You said as you set your glass of wine on the little table. With your inhibitions lowered, there was no hesitation as you stripped out of your clothing, tossing it all to the side. “You just move me how you want me.”

Oh, he would.

His own wine glass was set to the side before he moved closer, his eyes locked on yours. “Yeah?” He guided you to lie down on the bed, letting his fingers drift over your soft skin. “God, you’re so fucking gorgeous… Could just look at you forever…” His thumb brushed over one of your hard nipples, teasing the little peak as his cock ached inside his sweats. “I could never paint anything else except for you… and I’d die the happiest man in the world.” Carefully, gently, he moved your legs so one of your knees was bent, your legs spread wide for him.

Your eyes fluttered shut, your skin feeling flushed from the wine and the excitement of this god-like man touching you. “Mmm… Professor…”

Steve’s eyes were locked in on the prize, that blooming flower between your thighs, glistening with sweet nectar. “I always love a hands on approach,” he cooed as he ran a single finger through your folds, gathering up your slick.

The taste was exquisite.

Pretty moans fell from your lips, your back arching as your legs instinctively spread wider for him. “Please…”

He knew you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. It was fate, you walking into his class.

“Do you want me to touch you, baby girl?” He asked, loving the purr that rumbled in your chest as he found your swollen clit. “So needy… When’s the last time your pretty little kitty got so much attention, angel? You’ve been neglecting her, haven’t you?”

At your nod, you tried sitting up a bit, lip caught between your teeth. “Y-Yes. Please… Please.”

Steve quickly realized you didn’t even know what you were asking for.

“So innocent. So sweet,” he said as he wrapped his hands around your waist to pull you to the edge of the chaise. He leaned in and took in a deep breath, groaning. “I wanna be able to smell you for days.” At the first lick of his tongue, he knew he had you wrapped around his fingers.

And when you finally orgasmed, soaking his beard with your juices? Fuck. He was even more of a goner than he was before.

Steve loved the way that you laid limbless on the chaise, foot lazily bouncing as you dozed. It was easily a sight that he could get very, very used to very quickly. This was going to be so much easier than he thought it was going to be.

While he knew he was the right one for you, being able to know that you weren’t going to fight him gave him an amazing sense of relief.

The next week, he stood at his desk, making notes on his laptop. At five minutes to one, the door opened as the first student to arrive entered.

Immediately looking up, his heart sank. It wasn’t you.

Did you panic after you left his place the next morning? Nothing more had happened that night. Surely getting an orgasm wouldn’t freak you out, right?

His hands were starting to tremble when the door opened again, and he felt someone standing right next to him.

“Professor Rogers?”

His head snapped up, relief flooding him when he saw you. “H-Hello. How can I help you?”

A mischievous smile spread across your face, even though you were clearly trying to contain it. “Is there any possible way you have some free time during your office hours for me to swing by? I’d love to schedule our next figure painting session.”

[crickets-lovely-place]

alright so I’m relistening to Wooden Overcoats and plotting out a soulmate au that I’m writing, and I’m OBSESSED with this moment in s1e3, mostly in regards to one Georgie Crusoe. It’s at the end of Georgie’s date with Chapman, when Rudyard accuses Chapman of trying to lure Georgie over to his staff, and then an argument starts, and Antigone just wanted to watch her film, please.

Okay, and what I can’t get over is this moment for Georgie. During this conversation (full transcription under the cut) is the EXACT moment Georgie snaps regarding Chapman. Somehow I’ve never noticed it before?? Like, I thought it was funny that Georgie gets so annoyed about Chapman’s vagueness and “a long time ago”ing, that she gets so tired of him. I thought it was more of a gradual buildup thing?

And like, that’s true? She’s annoyed earlier in the ep when he “a long time ago”s at dinner, and she calls him out for it.

But it’s this moment here, at the cinema, when she snaps.

When Rudyard suggests that Chapman is trying to lure a “young impressionable girl” onto his staff, and Georgie protests that she’s not impressionable, and Chapman says “worse luck” and then won’t own up to that comment, and won’t explain it. (because I am a person who loves Eric Chapman, I think he leans more toward meaning it’s a shame he can’t get Georgie on his staff, because he thinks she’d be a valuable employee, and less toward meaning it’s a shame she’s not impressionable, but I digress)

What is it about Chapman saying “worse luck” to her declaration that she’s not impressionable (and by context can’t be lured to his staff roster) that sets her off? It’s totally justified. Georgie is smart, and capable, and if Chapman really did mean that it’s a pity she’s not impressionable, then yeah. That’s a BIG old yikes, majorly skeevy behaviour from him.

And Georgie calls it out, demands an explanation, which he doesn’t give. And she’s incredibly irritated with him for the rest of the conversation, ranging from sarcastic to incredibly cool to curt. Eric tries to save the interaction a few times (honestly it’s maybe a little gaslighty of him, he says they’re all worked up over nothing), but she is NOT having it, and she makes that clear. And then she leaves.

Anyway. I just. I want to know. Georgie doesn’t take any nonsense, ever. But she reacts SO strongly to this moment. What happened in her past? Like, who hurt her, that she’d be so suspicious of that statement? Did Nana teach her to watch out for people who would take advantage of her? Did her parents (does she have parents)? Or is Georgie just, that way? Did she cultivate this instinct in herself to stay out of bad situations and away from people she wasn’t sure of.

I’m obsessed with The Moment Georgie Crusoe Lost All Esteem For Eric Chapman.

Also, this interaction makes her animosity towards him make so much more sense to me? Like, she felt genuinely disrespected/possibly unsafe, and he did nothing to change that. And he really, really, hast to work through the next few seasons to earn back her trust and respect. Also, this makes the alley proposal somehow incredibly worse, can’t wait to listen to that again with this new knowledge.

tl;dr - Georgie SNAPS bc Chapman says something sorta shady, and I am obSESSED.

sidenote: Georgie also calls this date with Chapman an “experiment”, can we say lesbian Georgie rights?? I’m pretty sure she’s canonically only ever interested in women. Eric Chapman was her one foray into going on a date with a man and YIKES to that lol

scene: cinema, Friday night. Rudyard & Madeleine crash Georgie & Eric’s date. Antigone just wanted to watch a depressing French film. and then this conflict goes down

Georgie: Rudyard, just explain yourself.

Rudyard: Georgie, I know what he’s up to. Admit it, Chapman! Enticing a poor, impressionable young girl into your staff roster.

Georgie: *scoffs* I am not impressionable.

Eric: Worse luck.

Georgie: Excuse me?

Eric: Nothing!

Georgie: Could you repeat what you just said?

Eric: No, no, Georgie, really nothing. Should we just--

Georgie: Oh, I’m sorry, Eric, you look sad. Maybe I should hold your hand for comfort.

Rudyard: Don’t do it, it’s a trap!

Eric: Butt out of this, Rudyard!

Antigone: You can’t say that.

Rudyard: Thank you

Antigone: Butt out of this, Rudyard!

Georgie: You know what, this was a fun experiment and everything, but I think I’m done here.

Eric: Oh, sure, French films aren’t for you--

Georgie: I didn’t mean the film, Eric.

Eric: Whoa whoa whoa, look, I think we’re getting worked up over nothing here--

Antigone: God, now he’s being reasonable!

Eric: Maybe I should push her around like everybody else!

Antigone: Excuse me.

Georgie: You can’t speak to her like that!

Eric: Who the bloody hell can I speak to and how would you like me to do it?

[chaos from the movie]

E, A, G: What happened???

Rudyard: Two unicycles collided. It’s getting good, this.

Antigone: Right, in the name of Christ, can anybody not watching the film just piss off and leave me alone.

Georgie: Why not. Nana’ll be wonderin’ where I am anyway.

Eric: Oh, good point, I’ll walk you home.

Georgie: Eric. I think the date is over now, eh?

Eric: Wait, Georgie, I-- [she leaves] *inhale* You know what, I. It’s no big deal. We’re good. Antigone, Rudyard, enjoy the film. [he leaves]

idk maybe none of that was new for y’all, but I am having a REVELATION.

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 126 - Sculptor's Tool

Then Rosa made an off-colour joke about life drawing and getting – hands-on, and I forgot about it, but I still ended up going to the class. - Statement of Debra Madaki

I kinda like Rosa. I know nothing about Rosa, except she makes low-brow puns, but I kinda like Rosa.

Now, I’m not one to judge on appearances; I was the one who insisted Desmond still come to church after his operation

So, the statement giver is clearly one of those people who don't notice that they come across as giant fuck-off arseholes specifically when they explain how they're totally not giant fuck-off arseholes. Why, dearest Debra, the FUCK, are you acting like - erm - gracefully "allowing" someone to remain in the community even though they have - gasp - unseemly surgical scars shows how UNjudgmental you are.

It sort of – almost started out like a fish. But it just kept going and going, looping back and into itself, as if it was swimming through its own body. After a half hour, I had almost completely forgotten my own work, instead just staring at this serpentine structure that the dreadful man was building.

This may be the description in MAG that comes closest to making me feel how mesmerising the Spiral can be. Yeah, I'd be staring and forgetting my own work, too!

I know, it was an amateur class, and he was under no obligation to do exactly the work as instructed, but Ray was very clear with the rest of us that we were doing things in a specific order for a reason, and it was just a bit frustrating to see him nodding along to that awful man flagrantly disregarding what we were meant to be doing.

Okay, it's a bad sign when you're in a room with a being who literally feeds off people's fears and you come across as the worse person. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, DEBRA!

It made a noise that sounded like a scream heard through water and stretched out towards my mouth, which I’ll admit was hanging open in horror. If I hadn’t screamed and fallen backwards, I am sure the thing would have dived down my throat.

Oh yikes. There are some things you really don't want to accidentally swallow. Flies. Spiders. Creations of pure terror.

I was obviously taken aback at what had to be a really significant scheduling issue, but having a quick check of the timetable of classes, it looked very much like sculpting had always been on a Thursday, which didn’t make much sense to me, standing there in my dancing shoes and feeling like a fool.

Okay, I know this is a silly thing to focus on, but I feel that being told "No, you're wrong about your schedule, this has always been this way" would be genuinely fucking unsettling, especially when you're a very well-organised person, like Debra seems to be, and definitely wouldn't just randomly forget what day of the week a class was on. Like, I think I may have genuinely had nightmares with similar themes.

There was no sign of Mary. They still haven’t found her.

This is one of those "few words to reveal a deeper, surprising horror" moments that I love so much.

He coughed gently, and, well, I suppose it would have been rude not to look.

This is a very relatable thought process! So is Debra's later thing about "I would've run but that seemed rude." The number of times I've stayed in uncomfortable and occasionally genuinely frightening situations because I didn't want to come across as rude...

A door. “Perfect!” Gabriel told me. “It looks just like him!” I asked him if it was supposed to be a face and he told me yes. It was a good friend of his. I asked him who and he said they didn’t have a name. I told him everyone has a name, and he said his friend wasn’t like us, that having a name would only confuse them.

Okay, I'm aware we're talking about horrors beyond human comprehension here, but ... the Distortion has a friend! And that friend makes art for them! How sweet!

I got a letter, a week ago. It was from Gabriel. It said that he had found a new job, and he’d love it if I came up to assist him again. He’s working in a place called Sannikov Land. I looked it up. It doesn’t exist. And it sounds cold. I don’t think I should go. I’m not going to go.

Okay, I know it's revealed that in the end she DIDN'T go to Sannikov Land but my first reaction to this was definitely "Oh, she is SO going to go".

A Great Twisting, that Gertrude stopped at the cost of a single life. Hm... I thought moving away from my humanity would have made that seem more acceptable. That sort of sacrifice… But it just makes me sad. I remembered Gertrude’s notebook. We found it alongside the plastic explosives, but it rather got lost amongst the business of… saving the world at the cost of two lives - Jon

... damn. Jon seriously needs a hug. He's genuinely TRYING to be a good person, he's just not getting a lot of choice in the matter.

I don’t know, however, whether that was because she decided not to… or because shortly after this statement was given, they found the body of one Mary Randall in her basement, and she has spent the last nine years in Eastwood Park prison, where she remains to this day.

Now this was a genuinely surprising twist! Gave me shivers.

Martin: Really? I mean, it’s just admin. I-it’s not exactly thrilling listening.

I kind of love that Martin actually talks to the tape recorders as if they were human beings. It's cute. I mean, it's also a sign he really needs someone to fucking talk to because he is incredibly isolated thanks to Peter Fucking Lukas but hey, it's still kinda cute.

Martin: When all this is over, I’m telling him everything, with or without your permission. Peter Lukas: Martin, when it’s over, you won’t want to.

God, I want to punch Peter Lukas in his smug, condescending face so badly sometimes.

My impression of this episode

This isn't one of those episodes that stuck with me after listening, but the statement actually is delightfully unsettling and really well-written. It's actually one of the better statements for presenting the Spiral in its full glory, I think. And then that's immediately followed by a strong segment of Jon brooding subtly about morality and an even stronger segment of Peter and Martin being a) cryptic and b) infuriating that just left me going "I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. ALSO I WANT TO KICK PETER LUKAS'S ASS." I'm ... rather protective of Martin.

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.