#THERES A HOUSE IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES
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I think that playground set is much more likely to be about Henry than it is about Mike's first time meeting Will mainly because that whole scene of Mike talking about the memory isn't so much about the memory itself, but about the choice that Mike made in that moment to ask Will to be his friend, and the choice that Will made in that moment to say yes.
That being said, it's interesting that Mike, a character with a childhood memory taking place on a playground that thematically represents choice, appears to have a scene on the Creel playground. A place relevant to Henry -- a character who was never given much of a choice in his childhood. I think we're in for something crazy here.
#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#henry creel#st5 speculations#st5 leaks#i dont know what it could be but the themes are all there#also that whole memory of mike's took place at school - we have never seen hawkins elementary school neither interior nor exterior#but we have seen a playground with a rocket ship shaped thingamajig (jungle gym? is that the right word?)#and it's outside the creel house. So I think theres a pretty obvious conclusion#and at the end of the day this is all based on leaks. We really dont know shit
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look im rogers #1 hater ok he gives me the creeps
that being said. "you have enemies here. then let them be my enemies as well. any and all of them. and let them come." SIR????? hottest thing he's said or done this entire time
#black sails#as always the way to my heart is supporting your lady's rights and wrongs#i will forgive ANYTHING a character does if they love a woman lmao#cant remember hte name but theres this old book (the storm maybe?) where a woman is unhappy with her life and wants to be free and shes in#conflict with her husband a lot but near the end he tells her that he'll make excuses for her and buy a small house where she can take her#summer and he'll arrange everything so she doesnt have to be bothered by high society and i immediately went from hating him to being#ambivalent about him.#and in howards end as well that whole book is the wife in conflict with the husband and at the end of it all she gets the house#which was willed to her in the first place i believe#and becomes matriarch of the family and i also went from hating the husband to being ambivalent towards him#rogers may have a wife. which im pissed about. but at least it seems like he's being reasonable about eleanor so ill give him a chance
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youtube
disappears off the face of the earth and reappears just to say hey have you guys seen this show?
#you guys should watch this show#lidia poët on netflix it's so delightful#usually like faux feminist historical shows really grate on my nerves but this one was genuinely a good time#maybe because it's funny#or the relationships are all really delightful between the eponymous lidia poët and everyone around her#or maybe im just gay#i wont deny it plays a role#the OUTFITS#also i think theres this like needle to thread is that the idiom when you make a story about like a real life woman who faced sexism#bc like you need conflict to have a story but sometimes that leads to the woman in question just constantly being beaten down#you know what i mean?#sometimes it feels like that#but i think this one does it well#i think bc like lidia faces all the sexism every time she steps out of the house#and also inside the house from her brother and sister in law#but she also has people - men - who love and support her..........disobedience#i think thats well balanced i think thats why it works#also shes just great#funny and obstinate but also kind#theres one moment i wanted to put in the video but couldnt find the right place for#actually two#one where shes talking abt a client to her brother and shes like 'shes an anarchist and a bit of a bitch but shes also innocent' fghjkgh#another time shes talking to her niece abt her crush lorenzo and shes like 'you can tell me. as a lawyer i offer confidentiality'#and her niece is like 'technically youre not a lawyer anymore'#and lidia is like '......bitch. theres nothing wrong with liking him you know'#it's just really cute hgkghh i love the relationships she has with literally everyone in her life#if you wanna watch it for like the lawyer thing you can skip it theres no lawyering being done really#because shes not allowed in court rip#shes more like a bit of a sherlock holmes#you know like the american one with the female watson whats it called.........elementary
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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we out here putting in apartment applications!
#the apartment situation in maine looks exactly like this#1. everything you want and with perfect rent for your budget and all utilities included and pets allowed--senior only housing.#2. asking 2.5k for a studio with no utilities and a montly 500 pet fee PER PET#3. everything you want... but they only allow one dog.#4. everything you want but it's 4 hours away from your job#theres one place that allows smoking allows dogs has great rent and is right in the area of my job#and i want it SO BAD#im desperattrying to woo the realtor agent
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There's something very romantic about the outdoors...
#thinking abt how theres this specifc place near my house where i always go to take pics of the sky#and i probably have at leats one photo 'session' from every week(well every wk i was at home this yr lol)#and its always like a painting to me#it doesnt matter how many times i go there#every single time im astounded by it#and its nothing special but the sky is so vast and magnificent#and the colors are always great#even if its not near sunset or sunrise its still beautiful#and during the summer im nocturnal so i always run down there at the crack of dawn to take pics 😭#but now i take a lot of the sunset or pre-sunset ig#qnd even just mid day is pretty...#and right now theres geese migrating all the time but especially at this time of day#so going and standing there at staring at the sky and hearing the geese and going numb from the cold#its just...romantic to me ig#maybe i will edit smth w all my pics at the end of the yr FOR ME#but i took some vids of the geese flying across the blue and pink sky and it was all very picturesque#blah blah blah i am very sentimental and if i could take pics of eveyrthing i would 🥺#mayhe one day ill buy an actual camera lol#catie.rambling.txt
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I gotta be less hard on myself. Annoyingly i know that my best work comes from when i am hard on myself. But i keep stopping myself from doing things i want to due to perfectionism. Annoying.
#atm i feel like im just chasing interest after interest after interest#ive been working on my mimecraft base a lot but i have. complex feelings about the base atm#im happy with it and its paradise.#its too paradise that it makes me unsettled#which is nonsense its my place and my build#but i feel a lot of pressure to make it perfect#even though I and vee are the only ones who go there and i dont really care about the likes on my posts anymore#it still makes me feel. odd.#i love the work though i love the style and i love using it as a means to imagine a better world#atm im really enjoying just spending time on the server hanging out with vee#but i get into my own head a lot about the base#its not even just the base im talking about everything but the base is the example#i built a bit of a weird interior today i just went crazy with the terracotta and the plants and a pool of water#and i keep thinking on if it was the 'right' thing to do#and if i will be able to complete it properly to a high enough standard#it also doesnt help that ive improved over the course of the last 2 years in building#so now my house looks off and weird and theres trees that need to be taken down and paths that are over textured#but i find the process of doing it and the feeling of completion really deep and important#i dont know. i feel like im constantly in a battle of pushing myself to be better but limiting myself at the same time by having fun or sthn#i feel like i should be making youtube videos or at least prepping to#but i havent because i cant figure out how to organise mods and its freaking me out. theres just loads of excuses stopping me#i dont know.#the annoying thing is pushing myself creatively has resulted in massive benefits for me lately creatively#partly i think why im feeling odd with the base atm is because ive suddenly gone for being barely able to play an hour a night to having all#the time in the world so its created a sudden influx in development#idk. this is rambly#fish talks#i want to download a minec@ft map and remove the suburban housing to replace with higher density properties becsuse ive been watching too#much socialist urban planning videos again and c1t1es skyl1nes just isnt cutting the cheese rn#thats the wrong saying. fandoms censored to avoid crosstagging
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also GOOD NEWS turns out the One Week Until Eviction scare was just a false alarm and surprise surprise ✨lack of communication ✨ where as i texted her back for clarification but she said everything is fine and i aint being evicted bc she lied to the higher ups??so fuck it we ball ig its good to know she rlly does have my back to some strange extent so im still girlbossin here for another year and will have more time to build credit and look into the science of buying a house sksks
ALLL THAT BEING SAID i will start the next comic section later this week 4 SURE
#not complaining in the slightest but she very much couldve texted me again within those 4 days to say just kidding BECAUSE UHHH#''ur good honey i just lied to them☺'' me 5 suicidal meltdowns and 10 applications to any available housing later:😬oh ok great!!!!#like woman i was fully ready to accept that theres not a bitch on earth who will show me mercy to any extent and that the world is a cold#unrelenting hell to survive in for the past 4 DAYSSSS which i mean is right but ig its not completely that???#like a ''oh nevermind sorry false alarm'' text literally anytime after wouldve work just dandy sksksks plz#like i was rlly out here thinknig she deliberately basically sentenced me to inevitable homelessness for all she knows out of nowhere LIKE#i think im above the genetic Crazy Bitch Disease#but then i catch myself calculating the most inconvenient place in my apartment for my body to decompose in '''''for revenge''''''#if i couldnt move out in time like what in gods name is this radioactive elephants foot of a brain#plus idk how solid her excuse of not having good internet reason is to keep me here for another year so either way#after this im finding somewhere more solid to live bc i cant deal with this type of thing AGAIN lmfao#like bro u cant just make me think the happiness and peace that ive felt for the first time in my life is going to be reversed bc i have to#move back into that godforsaken house with that pos bc i Literally had no time to find another place and the amount of time that takes#BUT oh well its all good and she's still cool for a land lord so im good im good#the past almost week been crazy as hell
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twitter is a circle of hell
#why is there discourse on hobies age when its like. right there on his wiki.#hes not a minor ? and theres nothing weird or romantic going on with literally any other of the spider kids?#HE LITERALLY TALKS ABOUT GOING TO PUBS LIKE CMON#hes young yea but miles gwen and pav are like 15-16 and hobie is at LEAST 20 and he acts like it?#hes housing gwen bc she is technically homeless and hes looking out for a struggling kid?#pav got all OOOH about it bc hes dramatic and any guy crushing on a girl who is staying at another guys place would get stupid abt it?#hobie is an awesome supportive older brother figure and nothing more. were just seeing this from the pov of miles#let people think hobie is hot okay he’s absolutely hot nd beautiful and deserves it just pls…separate it from the spiderkids#idk man theres no discourse here people are making it creepy for no reason. and also people are just fucking creepy. whatever#this is besides everyone being so gross and racist like jfc yall cant be normal about shit#txt
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...
#theres a special kind of agony in tryinf to find an apartment in an college town with a housing shortage#everythings expensive as fuck and im sure its frustrating for everyone but i feel like its especially frustrating for me#bc it takes me so much fucking time to understand the information right in front of me and then i doubt myself so i have to check and check#and double check and triple check that im on the right website. that im inputting the right info#and its like. what if theres a better place i could b looking? like i found a management place to apply to thats expensive but less#expensive than another place but the building looks like its kinda on the edge of town like 15min drive from school#which i hate bc im an anxious freak and its gonna b worse than driving here bc itll get icey as fuck there#like proper inches of snow all winter. negative negative cold. so its like. do i take a nice apartment thats kinda far away#or a slightly more expensive apartment thats like 10min from school and more in town#and then theres the application stuff. and i cant fill anything out without having a full on like sobbing breakdown#but im that way abt everything. i do that all the time when i have to buy plane tickets#its exhausting. and i cant plan my exit until i know when i can move into a place. whatever. it doesnt help that my hormones r fucked rn#or i hope its the hormones. ive been so tired. so so tired. like sleeping 9hrs and still tired when usually im wired after only 7hrs sleep#i hate it. and super brain foggy. and this week i have to finish taking measurements for the last time#so i gotta decide if im gonna go in tomorrow or Monday to start it. its gonna suck so bad bc im gonna try to do it in 6 days. which will b#agony. but after that ill never have to do it ever again. ugh. im just so tired and i dont wanna limp my way into a new project feeling#like damaged goods. which is exactly what it feels like now. ive just done a very good job of making my job difficult#cant go into the lab without feeling physically ill. drained away all my joy. now theres only a sad distant recognition of how far ive#allowed myself to fall. i kno ill feel better once i have a place to stay and i can quit my job just getting there is taking an eternity#unrelated
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hey *takes what was supposed to be just a visualization in case i ever wanted to draw overhallidays place in the future and then spends 4 hours on it
#📗 my post#🧯 overhalliday (s/i)#yeah ummm yeahn . hey . theres a lot in here let me divulge in the tags#hes supposed to live in like a town thats pretty Scrunched In with buildings kind of surrounding the place so the debug building behind#is supposed to mimic the back alley area that he uses for all his scraps && parts. really id imagine at some point he put a tarp over it#so metal doesnt rust && whatnot . but theres not really a way to do that i think in the sims#the bathroom being right where the stairs are is both a) bc i wrote that in a fic b) sometimes houses are dumb okay we cant all win#there isnt an operating table apparently?? so im using a lounge chair as a stand in and honestly it works well#really if i wanted to i wouldve added like soo much more clutter because he is. not the most organized#ftr i think like every sims bed has a headboard and he DOES NOT have that hes got a bed frame and a mattress that is IT!!!#^ not every sims one . the ones that dont talks abt...bed bugs. which . ew#and for the record also i think his place is only unique in the sense that you walk in and theres a workshop . exterior wise theres#probably like a bunchhh that look the same as youre walking down . all scrunched together#i actually donthave a set place in mind that he lives i just know its like. a Town#a town that doesnt have a hardware store . so he takes a train if he ever needs supplies & it takes abt 10 minutes to get to the city#so hes not like. Cut Off per se but the locals definitely know his deal enough#idk looking at it and imagining a bunch side by side makes me think of likee. like. norway? <- my biases it was like the 2nd thing i google#it would be nice to live by a bunch of water#but also im . i dont know anything abt architecture this very easily could read as somewhere in america or something like that#idk but in my head it snows a lot there thats like all i have thought out
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.
#personal#its ridiculous how i was so depressed 2 days ago and then my partner was like. whay if i came over right now even though#its almost midnight. and what if i slept over at your house for 3 nights in a row. and now im sitting here having eaten breakfast for the#first time in like 4 weeks and feeling happy waiting for him to wake up so we can shower together and were#gonna go on a build-a-bear date and i no longer feel like i deserve to d*e with him here#hes just so sweet and i love him a lot and im really lucky to have him in my life <3 ive never been in a relationship where i felt this#safe and comfortable and accepted before and i know he hasnt either and its just nice#definitely helps that were both trans autistic queers with parental trauma so theres a lit about each other that we understand without#needing to explain it in depth#but also he really values communication and even thiigh im so used to shutting all my feelings off and not telling people about them#im trying really hard to not do that with him and its? nice not bottling everything up for once?#he really listens to me when i talk and tries to understand and respect my boundaries all the time and its realy nice to have that#ive been awful at establishing boundaries in past relationships and i didnt feel like my boundaries mattered to at least one ex so its#a nice change of pace to have someone go out of their way to make me feel reapected and valued like thay#and thats not even mentioning all the hot gay transgender sex we have because like. both being on t kind of makes that a necessity dhdjdjdj#its just nice having him in my life and feeling loved and cared for and getting to love and care for him back and im so lucky#that everything fell into place for us to date each other because i really dont know what id have done without him this past half a year#this is so long fhdjsjsjsj im just waoting for him to get up and feeling emotional about how much of a good influence he is in my life <333
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i woke up from a nap 30 minutes ago with the best animatic idea (two birds by regina spektor my beloved) ive had in 17 years with kris and lyra and ive been stuck in a very intense catastrophic autism event about it the entire 30 minutes,
(catagory 20 autism event in the tags below)
#god. LIKE OK WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH THE IDEAS I HAVE PLANNED FOR THESE TWO IN THE FIRST PLACE#like. in my head kris originally lived in new bark town and was friends with ethan#but had to move away because her mom got a job at the goldenrod radio tower#and lyra moves in soon after! ethans upset and pretends to dislike lyra but his mom makes him play with lyra and they hit it off instantly#kris is really shy and she has low energy so she doesnt really make any new friends in the city. she really only has her mom#and her phone calls with ethan#meanwhile lyra is really energetic and social and makes a lot of friends really quick!#so when ethan starts journeying and reunites with kris in goldenrod and kris finally meets lyra she cant help but just. hate her.#its not just that she moved into kris's house and took her place as ethan's friend. lyra has a lot of the things kris wishes she had#then team rocket takes over goldenrod city and kris's mom is trapped in the tower like all the other employees.#lyra is the one who gets into the tower first and she helps a lot of innocent people get out including kris's mom#and kris is grateful her mom is safe (shes really close to her mom since shes one of the only people she has) but also. really confused?#shes been nothing but a jerk to lyra since theyve met.#but when she started panicking about her mom being in danger lyra promised to find her anyways. and she saved her too!#after lyra's dad finds out about the team rocket takeover though he lyra to come home.#he always worried for lyras safety and wants her to stay out of trouble (theres a really good reason for this btw)#and lyra disobeyed him when he called her and told her to stay away from the city#and kris doesnt feel like she should just. stand by and let that happen! lyra helped save her mom.#and her journey is really important to herself and so kris goes right up to lyras dad and gives him quite the earful#she somehow manages to convince him to let lyra finish her journey! and lyra is so fucking grateful#and the two start becoming friends from that point on. lyra becomes really important to kris#im thinking of maybe lyra giving kris two thin white ribbons to tie ribbons on her pigtails?#first of all as a symbol of their friendship and also to draw similarities between the two of them#second of all. (gestures to suicune)#anyways what did i say. catagory 20 autism event. im gonna have to edit a tag at the top#mossball.txt#gsc#trainer kris#trainer lyra#pokemon
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I WISH MY APARTMENT HAD WINDOWS SO FUCKING BAD UGH
#theres ONE WINDOW in the entire apartment#and its in my boyfriends office which i hardly go in there bc he works from home in there#i go in sometimes to sit on the bean bag THE BIG ASS 7 FOOT LONG BEAN BAG but usually i like being in the living room or our bedroom#so i NEVER see the sun and my brain is MELTING#our lease ends in march so we're thinking about finding a house to rent or a trailer#somewhere that's detached and in the middle of nowhere so we don't hear footsteps all night#OR MUSIC BECAUSE OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS PARTY EVERY FUCKING DAY REEEEEEEEEEE#when we first moved out i told bf all these list of things i wanted for our apartment#'i want a balcony!! i want a pool!! i want a gym!!'#but now im like bro i just want windows#im in the living room right now and it feels like im in a cube#having our own place is still objectively better than not having our own place BUT WINDOWS#living with his parents wasn't even bad i legitimately love bf's family so much. they consider me their child ;-;#it's just that being able to walk around naked is awesome#BUT WINDOWS I MISS HAVING WINDOWS GODDAMN IT I MISS THE SUNLIGHT#hopefully we're moving again in march though WINDOWS HERE I COME
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Its been 4 months i cant STILL be thinking 'what have i done?' And wanting to take it back!!!!! Obviously i can but rather wish i couldn't.
#hes coming here in august#not to ny house but to the city for an event#let me know just in case as it might be weird running into him#half a million people live here youd think it highly unlikely and anywhere else youd be right but this place is famous for chance run ins#it was nice of him to give me the very respectful no expectations fyi#im still going insane about it#all i do is go to work and come home#but he'll feel our ghost everywhere hes not ever been here without me#there were so many places we went and were going to go#i wonder if they'll weigh on him like the do on me#theres not going to be a chance encounter and s romantic fix all confession scence you stupid woman#i say this to myself every day and still its what i want
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going to sleep soon ～ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)
#cw vent#this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that#this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky#my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know#my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school#this is one of them#its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or#something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has#literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever#i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh#its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place#so miserable i could just die#so miserable i think i SHOULD die#and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself#sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ～#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz
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