#Tbh Im not worrying about the grade as much as my mother will not be happy if I get 4 or lower

[maudlin-scribbler]

Tomorow I'll see how I did on my physics test,,,,,,good god I genuinely have no idea how I did but I'm hoping for a 5 or 6 maybe.

[glitchbirds]

started watching the his dark materials tv adaptation earlier this week- something that i had meant to do back in 2019 when it began and never quite got around to. started s3 yesterday so i should get the remaining 7 episodes under my belt within the next few days genuinely it is fascinating to watch an adaptation of a series that i read only once, when i was ten years old, but which left such a profound impression on me that i have consistently cycled back to it for years and years (esp when its such a complex, sprawling fantasy world-or several worlds, really- that its adapting)

as ive mentioned Several times over the years- maybe not on this particular account though-, i was gifted an omnibus copy of all three books in one by my older brother, either for christmas or my birthday i cant remember, sometime before the 2007 movie came out (meaning i had to have been 10 at the absolute oldest when i started reading them, though maybe 11 by the time i finished?). i also very clearly remember The Controversy surrounding them among christians, mainly because of a few comments by classmates but more importantly because my (fourth grade, iirc?) teacher pulled me out of class one day to tell me the book i was reading was sinful and atheist and against god and etc (which made me cry very hard </3 even though she told me i could still read it. this was back when my dad still took me to (catholic) church on a semi-regular basis to appease my grandmother as well as sunday school (run by my older cousins) and at least a year or so before i started to develop a modicum of critical thought towards deep south church teachings. i was petrified of the idea of going to hell and scared to do anything whatsoever to jeopardize my chances) (this did not stop me from reading the book however, because i enjoyed it too much. but i also have a clear memory of reading the book every chance i got w/o paying much attention to what was happening around me and one day realizing that i was reading it while at church service and mentally freaking out that i was doing something sacrilegious and trying to force myself to stop reading. i think i spent about 10 minutes bored out of my mind before i, internally apologetic, went back to reading) luckily my parents seemed unaware or unphased by the fearmongering- i assume my mother never noticed, or this was before she started to become insane from fox news poisoning; my dad i think brought it up briefly because of a flyer he saw but wasnt overly worried about it- because i saw the movie in theaters (i liked it ok; have never seen it since, i want to now though) and also acquired the ds game (tbh i enjoyed it despite it being tie-in garbage and me being v bad at video games as a kid; i never managed to beat it though) and later the wii game (bad </3 never got far into it)

Anywayyyy. again i have never since reread any of the books or read any of the other novellas and the like philip pullman has written set in the same world, though im itching to do that now; and ofc while ive skimmed through wiki articles and the like to refresh my memory on things, my memory of most of the plot points in the books are heavily based on My Perspective As A Ten Year Old Child. i remember the first book the best, a decent amount of subtle knife, and can only recall a few specifics of amber spyglass, and its only now while revisiting the world by watching the tv show that im getting a proper, more well-rounded view of the symbolism and messaging and Authorial Intent(tm) behind the series, because of course a lot of this shit flew right over my stupid little child brain as a kid. once i got to the third book i started to understand, vaguely, why my teacher didnt want me reading this book and why there was a backlash against the movie, but a lot of things that are obvious to me now (and would have been obvious if i read the series just a few years later, really) just did not compute for a 10 y/o. which ofc does not mean that i think its a Bad thing i read them that young but all of ^ that turns watching this series into a mix of "oh i remember that" "oh i know whats coming up" "oh my god i forgot that this is from HDM, this has influenced so many creative projects over the years w/o me even realizing it" "oh they skipped over it but i know in the books there was a scene here that i loved and that has stuck with me forever" "i dont remember this from the books but it extrapolates perfectly from what i remember about these characters" "oh my god was the symbolism here really that obvious and i still didnt pick up on it" etc etc etc ANYWAYYYY. my actual review of the tv series so far: -season 1 in particular is sorely lacking in how it portrays daemons and it made me increasingly sad. daemons were without a doubt my favorite thing from these books and one of my favorite things in a work of fantasy Ever to the point where over the years i have Repeatedly decided to sit down and spend a ridiculous amount of time painstakingly plotting out what daemon i think (x) character from (x) piece of media i enjoy, would have. many of which are still committed to memory. i fucking love daemons as a concept and i wish this shit was public domain so any piece of fiction i write could utilize them forever. i get budget issues exist or w/e but whyyyy would you adapt a series where every character in a world would have a cgi animal with them at all times if you couldnt actually show those cgi animals in more than a handful of scenes per episode and only for (some) major characters and only if they had a speaking role in that scene and also occasionally just have them teleport instead of showing them walking from one room to the next and also crowd shots are fucking barren. its like watching a live action pkmn tv show where pokemon are onscreen for a combined 5-10 minutes out of 60 minute episodes. s2 is a bit better about it but it also spends significantly more time in other worlds where daemons arent visible so ig its easier to budget in more daemons in scenes that take place in lyras world. no idea about s3 yet though ofc the mulefa are coming so We'll See how they handle the cg there

-i do think the cg animal animation looks good though. like its not "i believe there is an actual snow leopard in the room" photorealism but not only is that something i do not particularly care about, i think daemons looking a little unreal is actually perfect. they are physical manifestation of human souls and are in-universe immediately distinguishable from identical animals of the same species... it works

-s2 in general is a significant improvement on s1 not just in the daemons but in the overall pacing and character exploration imo; which is surprising considering its the season cut short from covid lockdown; and also a bit sad since, again, most of what i remember is from the first book and thus many of my fondest memories of the books were things that were either skimmed over in the first season or cut out entirely </3 ALAS.

-iorek and iofurs fight didnt go as hard as it shouldve </3 they didnt even show iorek ripping iofur's jaw off... he was killed in the blurry bg behind lyra. how are you gonna let the 2007 pg-13 movie kick more ass at talking armored polar bears fighting to the death

-am i crazy or is the alethiometer just not used much in the tv series compared to the book... maybe the movie+games clouded my memory, or maybe its the fact that in the show there's rarely any elaboration as to what the symbols could mean or which symbols lyra is using for her questions/what she's interpreting. almost every scene of it being used blurs together and i wouldnt be shocked if some show-only fans think its a stupid plot device with no rhyme or reason behind the symbols, when imo i think you can at least roughly intuit many of the meanings, though obviously not to the extent that a reader could interpret full accurate sentences

-some really really strong casting for like 99% of the roles in this show, i love most of the changes theyve made from the books wrt to casting decisions, my only significant gripe is of course. why did you have to do lee scorseby like that. i loved lee a lot. i remembered him so fondly. why'd you have to give lin manuel miranda that one. just absolutely devastating to me personally (though the choice to have andrew scott as will's father was v funny to me because lin manuel miranda and moriarty from bbc sherlock hanging out together for a huge chunk of s2 has to have appealed massively to a very particular subset of tumblrina)

-again i read these books when i was 10 so the concept of "characters can be bad people but also really well written and enjoyable to spectate" hadnt really settled in my mind yet so i really have no idea if this fully applies to the book version of her but oh my godddd i love mrs coulter in this series. yes she kidnaps children and rips their souls apart from them yes she drugs her own daughter and holds her captive yes she murders people indiscriminately without remorse etc. and she rules <3

-similarly the changes theyve made to the golden monkey are Fascinating...

-i loved lyra and pan with my whole heart when i was her age and it is really :,) to now be fully an adult and see her again. waughh. i love how almost everyone she meets loves her too (i will not stand for ppl watering it down to found family fanfiction tropes. but She Is So Loved.)

-i think its cool that boreal went from being a fairly minor character in the books to one of the main antagonists for a hot minute. he was fun :)

-i dont remember having strong feelings about mary malone as a kid but i really like her here. i havent gotten to this point in the show yet but im aware they tweaked her backstory to make her a lesbian as well, which is just delightful to me

-will's relationship w/ his mother and particularly the way the book describes her mental illness from will's perspective was so, So important to me as a kid and the thing i remembered best from subtle knife, and i wish the show had dwelled on it a liiiittle more? in particular, the bit where will thinks about when he first realized something was up and his mother wasnt just playing a "game" with him and was actually terrified of a nonexistent threat, when he was seven and they were shopping for groceries, and how he realized then and there that he needed to take care of her and protect her- that stuck w/ me very strongly as a kid and i wish the show had found a way for will to talk about it with lyra, there were a couple points where i thought he was going to bring it up. maybe this season??

fun fact i started writing this post at like 10 last night. i gotta put a stop this rn

[florida3exclamationpoints]

.

[softboyluvr]

just friends

cedric diggory x female!reader

warnings: angst (ish???), intentional lower caps, that’s all tbh

very few could say they knew someone for forever, someone that knew their weaknesses and helped turn them into strengths. though they, they were the lucky ones. or unlucky ones, depending on who you asked. cedric and her had been inseparable the moment their parents introduced them when they were children.

from then on she always had someone to pick her up when she fell off the swings, a shoulder to cry on and someone who listened unconditionally when it seemed like the voices drowned her. she was lucky to have him.

she brought out the best in him. everyone expected him to be everything all the time, but with her he could be vulnerable. he felt like he could breathe when she was near. he had to see her fall in love with some of the guys in the castle, and then be there for her when it all fell through. he was just never that lucky to have her. at least not completely, she had the best of his moments. when in fourth year his friends teased him for never having had his first kiss she was the one to pull him in by his jersey after winning the first game of the quidditch season, the light drizzle sticking to their hair and making the whole thing seem like a dream to him. she had his first dance at their first ever ball. and most of all she had his heart hanging off a thread on her pinky finger, yet he was never lucky enough to have her completely.

he was resigned actually, no longer eager for the next time she came running to his arms after she realized the last guy wasn’t what she wanted, much less deserved. an eagerness that he knew was wrong and completely selfish but he couldn’t seem to deny. he liked being the guy that lit her those vanilla candles she loved so much and held her through the night.

he didn’t know what deity he had to thank for putting them together in every single class for the past six years. but there he was, letting her draw some sort of happy face kaleidoscope on his hand as he just looked at her with some stupid grin he could never wipe off when they were together. looking at how the tip of her tongue stuck out in concentration and then down to the crystal hanging around her neck. remembering how one saturday she just dragged him to the lake to look for crystals. one of the last days of the summer, the morning sun keeping them warm but not sticky with sweat. the wildflowers around them made the air sweet and the soft swishing of the water in the river filled up their comfortable silence making everything perfect. if he were asked what he thought heaven was like he would think that’s the closest it could ever get. or maybe it was all perfect because he was with her.

he wasn’t surprised when she had to bring him back from his daze and put him to work on the potion slughorn had just spent the last 10 minutes explaining. he was eager to finish brewing the concoction, amortentia was one of their biggest projects of the year. but that was not what motivated him to finish it, neither was it finding out what he was going to smell. he knew exactly what his heart desired, and was not surprised when he smelled vanilla, soft rain and wildflowers. his eagerness was to discover what she was going to describe the potion to smell like. he hoped her heart’s deepest desires pointed towards him like a compass pointing north. he was about to ask when hermione granger, somehow managing to take classes above her level, turned around and asked herself.

he pretended to write some notes on his notebook when he was really waiting for anything that would hint at her fancying him the way he wished she would.

“we must’ve fucked it up because it smells like nothing” and she snorted like it was the funniest thing ever. their conversation carried but he was no longer interested on any sort of gossip the griffindoor carried. he knew the potion had worked, so either she was sick and her nose was all messed up or just didn’t fancy anyone at all. she could’ve also been lying, was it for his sake? did she just not want to share any more fragments of her love life with him and she decided to lie about this to keep some secrecy? was it someone he knew? was it one of their friends? had he introduced her to them?

class ended and the day flew by, whenever she asked about his change in demeanor he brushed her off with a smile and assured her it was all fine, “just tired ‘s all”

he wanted to go down to his room and read, alone, as soon as the school day was over. but he had promised to go with her to this tree they always hung out in when the day was nice. she was talking about things she had noticed throughout the day and when he zoned back into the conversation their tree was closer than he realized and she was talking about potions class.

“i swear i was keeping an eye out for you. i was worried you were sick because someone had slipped some amortentia on your water or something. i mean im surprised no one did” and she sat down leaning on the trunk of the tree. “anyways you never did tell me what it was your heart’s deepest desires were. or who is it that that is for that matter” she was taking some colored pencils out and it seemed like the whole thing was humorous to her. but the question had struck him, she was lying back in class.

she had taken his silence as a cue to keep her chatter going. not paying any mind to how he still hadn’t sat down. “i heard someone say how when slughorn showed the class below us the potion just as a heads up for next year cho chang said she swore she smelled you. i didnt know you guys were that close” and she wiggled her eyebrows at him while taking out some sketch book from her bag. she was really trying to joke with him right now. “she’s really pretty-“

but he cut her off. “why would you lie?”

“i swear! hermione told me all about it after i ran onto her in the bathroom before potions class started. i mean you have been tutoring her for a while now so i don’t know how you didn’t see it coming”

he was silent for a second and she grew uncomfortable of his gaze just lingering. standing up as he started again.

“we didn’t fuck up the bloody potion. but you told granger we did, why did you lie?”

she looked at him for a couple seconds and then laughed. “come on ced, slughorn said the thing was perfect. don’t worry about the grade”

“this is not about a mark and you know it” his tone was so serious it was bordering into stern. it was like his patience was growing thin but she didn’t know what to say, so she just shrugged and looked away.

“didn’t feel like talking about it then”

“we can talk about it now”

“it looks like there’s rain clouds coming”

“what are you trying to avoid?”

she just went to pick up her book, stuffing her things back into her bag. she started the walk back to the castle making him scoff and follow her lead.

“why don’t you want to talk to me?” to her he still sounded defensive. but he was trying his best to mask his vulnerability.

“i do want to talk to you ced. just not about it right now”

“was it someone i know? was it fred? i heard he’s with angelina so that’s a dead end you know”

“cedric just drop it”

“so it was him then”

she groaned and turned to look at him, breaking her stride. her face was burning with what he saw as anger.

“why does it matter so badly to you cedric?”

the thunder quickly ate up the good weather they still had and the air turned chilly. how fitting.

“it just does and i want to know”

“it really doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t to you either” she was upset about it, maybe her feelings for fred were far deeper than he could guess. he was aware of their friendship, but he never knew how close they had grown to be. maybe him being a tutor pushed her to finding someone new, some new more interesting friend. “i really don’t get why you’re blowing this to be such a big deal when cho-“

“it is a big deal to me” he chuckled and he saw the drizzle before he could feel it. “it’s a big deal to me when all i could smell on the thing was wildflowers and fresh rain” he let a breath out, his voice lowering back to its usual tone. no longer exasperated but tired. “fresh rain and vanilla”

she just stood there. quiet. looking at him. a couple steps and he had broken the distance between them. placing his hands on her shoulders and running them down to her hands.

“so please, just please tell me what it was for you”

“lilacs” she looked up at him and met his gaze. the flowers his mother had planted around the swing sets were lilacs, the flowers she tucked on his suit pocket on their first dance were lilacs. but he still couldn’t let his heart jump to conclusions. she took in the silence and looked forward, staring at his chest rather than looking at him in the eyes. the blow was coming. “warm sheets and fresh rain”

she smiled at the irony of the drizzle that covered her hair at the moment and dared to peek at him from under her lashes. he was puzzled by the last one. she kept looking down at his hands holding hers.

“that was my first kiss too you know, you never really asked and i guess i never told you. but i knew you were tired of everyone teasing you for it so i guessed you wouldn’t mind as long as you got it over with” she was rambling and he smiled. the rain coating her lashes reminded him of the first time, he let go of her hand and took her chin between his pointer and thumb. tilting her head up to look at him, moving his hand to run through her hair and finally cupping her face. running his thumb over her cheek. it was like he was getting a do over, and he wanted to take his time this time around. she looked into his eyes and then glanced down to his lips. he didn’t waste more time before his other hand flew to the free side of her face and his lips were on hers. her hands on his shoulders pulling him impossibly closer to her.

he cursed his lungs for preventing him from staying there, causing him to pull away slightly. she opened her eyes to see him looking at her already. he took in how the water droplets stuck to her hair and the smile that danced on her face.

her eyebrows shot up a little “took you long enough” her teasing smile made him let out a loud laugh.

he hummed and nodded. feigning seriousness “maybe” he looked at her with a teasing smile of his own. “but not nearly as long as it took you, now did it”

her eyebrows shot up and she let out a surprised laugh. he admired her for a second more before he leaned down to kiss her again. missing how she quickly ducked and escaped his grasp. starting to sprint through the grass towards the castle. he chased behind her as they both laughed at the water splashing around their feet and starting to soak them up slowly. she looked back at him and playfully screamed, booking it through the courtyard and slipping past the few people that were still out enjoying the soft rain.

their friends quickly spotted the pair, not surprised by their behavior but intrigued as to what had caused the giant to chase after her through the rain. watching as he was catching up to her when she had almost reached the group, which was seated waiting for them next to one of the arches surrounding the courtyard. staying safe from the rain under the roof. they all playfully looked at her catching her breath, not amused at all by their games when he reached her. hair sticking to his forehead and robes drenched just like hers. she yelped as he picked her up and spun her around, their friends getting ready to listen to whatever story was behind their chase.

the story telling itself when he set her down softly and pulled her in for a quick kiss. their bubble of happiness not popping but encasing all of their friends as well. no questions were needed, the happiness just flowed and bubbled.

he swung his arm over her shoulders. pulling her into his chest as she started the conversation back up. everything had fallen into place for him, and now he could light up candles and tuck her into bed not because she had another unlucky shot at love. but because he was finally lucky enough.

[resident-leevil-old]

okay well anyways somebody asked me if i felt like talking about my raccoon city survivors au with mia and ethan again and the answer is YES.

> AU MINI FACTS <

- Ethan's mother died while giving birth.

- Ethan Winters and his father moved into Raccoon City when Ethan was a baby, around 3-4 years old.

- Ethan trans ftm because im trans and i said so.

- Mia trans mtf because im trans and i said so.

- Ethan & Mia are childhood friend to lovers in this au.

- Ethan's father worked for Umbrella, and Mia's father worked for the Connections while her mother also worked for Umbrella.

- Mia was born in Texas, but her family moved to Raccoon City after she was born. They still owned property in Texas, though.

- Mia & Carlos are related because I said so.

- so yknow the "dude its been three years" guy? that's their childhood friend and his name is Kyde because i said so.

- Albert Wesker Personally was ordered by Spencer to kill those scientists btw.

- a lot of this au is because i said so tbh

> AU SUMMARY <

Ethan Winters, Mia Oliviera, and Kyde Wells work together to survive six days of the Raccoon City Outbreak. In the process they uncover secrets and encounter many obstacles that just nearly cost them their lives.

> CHAR.BGROUND <

ETHAN W, SR - A scientist who worked for Umbrella. He lost his wife during the birth of his child E///// Winters. Struggling with the death of his wife and the harsh decline of his mental health, he began to experiment with viruses and vaccines in an attempt to bring his wife back, even using his child as a subject at certain points due to the child having strong genes from the mother. He acknowledged that he was a horrid father, but justified his actions by claiming he would bring back a better mother. He thought of Albert Wesker as a friend, and told him the truth of his research.

ETHAN W, JR - A quiet 14 year old that had a hard time making friends. Due to experiments from his father, Ethan is a culmination of infections and viruses that each impact him in different ways. As he grew up Ethan refrained from talking too much as to not interrupt his father's work, causing him to become selectively mute.

MIA OLIVIERA - Younger sister of Carlos Oliviera. Mia skipped a grade due to her intelligence and advanced knowledge on many things kids her age normally didn't. She very easily got sick as a child, though she seemed to outgrow it as she got older. She was schooled both at home and at school before the outbreak. She shared classes with Ethan Winters (Jr) and Kyde Wells.

KYDE WELLS - A friend of Ethan & Mia, known for his cowardice. Kyde has a heavy sense of self preservation, but a weighted sense of compassion as well. He only ever has risked himself for his two friends.

JAMES HARISON - Mia's father. He worked for the Connections as a scientist and a researcher. Harison and his wife often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

MARISA OLIVIERA - Mia's mother. He worked for Umbrella as a researcher. Oliviera and her husband often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

JAKE VERANO - An Umbrella worker who had been trapped in the underground facility for a week, listening to the sound of his coworkers being eaten alive. Unstable because of his experience, he tries to create a cure using the intel of Ethan W (SR).

> FULL AU <

[September, 25, 1998.]

Ethan Winters walked home from school when his father failed to pick him up. He walked through the streets, paying no mind to a big fight breaking out near him. On the way home, he meets up with his friend Kyde who had also been walking home. They talk and walk together for a bit, before splitting up.

When Ethan arrived home, he noticed the front door of his house had been opened slightly. Confused, but wary, he entered the house, knowing it was uncharacteristic for his father to forget the door was open.

He entered the living room, and found his father laying on the ground dead, shot twice in the head, having just been killed moments prior. Ethan moved over to his father, before Albert Wesker walked out of his father's office.

Ethan barely has much time to react to him, overwhelmed by his own panic and the death of the only adult in his life. Wesker - wanting no witnesses - shoots him three times in the chest, and leaves under the impression the child is dead for good.

Ethan Winters dies for the first time that evening.

[September, 27, 1998]

For the past two days, Mia and her parents have been barricaded in their home, unable to leave safely. Mia sat in her room for most of the time, unable to look out of the windows due to boards covering them. During those two days Mia tries to call Ethan and Kyde several times in hopes that they were safe. Neither of them answer.

Until this day, the 27th, at 2:00 am, when she calls Ethan. And he answers.

{TRANSCRIPT OF THEIR CALL:}

Ethan: h-hello?

Mia: [Ethan]! You're alive! Are you okay?

Ethan: I'm breathing. [Pause] I'm breathing. You okay?

Mia: I'm boarded up in my house, we can't leave safely. Everything is a mess. I'm so glad you're alive, [Ethan]. Are you safe? I'm guessing you're safe.

Ethan: Not sure. Not sure. Find you soon, here alone. Alone.

Mia: Alone? What happened? Where's your dad?

Ethan: [Pause.] [Loud sound in the distance.]

Mia: [Ethan]? Are you okay?

Ethan: [Dial tone.]

Mia speaks with her parents about the call, expressing worry about her friend. She spends a while trying to convince her parents that Ethan may be alive (purposefully omitting the dial tone) and need their help. Finally, they agree, and at 12 pm, they head out with all the resources they could gather.

Managing to stay out of sight, the family make it to the Winters' household. They find Ethan hiding in his bedroom, one infected laying in the hallway with a pole through its head and Ethan's father laying in the living room dead.

They rescue Ethan, and flee from the house. Mia's parents explain that they need to evacuate the city, but that they wouldn't be able to drive, so they'd have to move on foot. They returned to their house and rested for the night.

[September, 28, 1998]

The family and Ethan head out again, this time aiming to evacuate the city. After several close encounters with large groups of infected, the kids and Mia's parents are unfortunately separated. Given instructions by her parents, Mia leads Ethan through the city, having to take detours due to infected blocking pathways.

Eventually, during the night, they run into Kyde, who has lost his parents trying to escape the city. The three of them take refuge in an empty abandoned house, and rest for the walk in the morning.

Ethan sits up for a while, thinking about what happened to him, and trying to figure out how to explain it to his friends. Eventually he falls asleep, unable to figure it out. In the morning they head out again.

[September, 29-30, 1998]

During another detour taken due to large groups of infected, Ethan is kidnapped by a man in a white lab coat.

Mia & Kyde go after them, refusing to leave Ethan behind. They manage to find him after roughly half a day had passed.

Ethan had been in a hysterical state and through tears he explains to Mia and Kyde what had happened to him in his house a few days ago, confessing that he had died and revived two days later. He warns the two of them that whatever Jake, the white lab coat man, did to him, it made him dangerous and unstable.

Mia and Kyde refused again to leave him behind, and spend hours gathering information from files and research left scattered around. They manage to make Something that was able to calm him down and cleanse what they had learned had been called the "T-virus" from his body.

As soon as Ethan had woken up again, they fleed the facility, Mia & Kyde both making sure he didn't collapse on the way.

[October, 1, 1998]

They don't stop running when they're out. A broadcast goes out saying that the city will be blown up in four hours due to being unable to contain the outbreak. The three of them realize they won't be able to get out if they take anymore detours unless they find a vehicle with gas in it and a clear road to drive on.

Three hours later, out of options, nearly to the city boarder, and faced with another group of infected blocking the only straight shot out, they decide to risk a run through. However, just as they were pushing through, a helicopter flew overhead and spotted them. Calling to them, the pilot tells them to attempt making it up a building nearby if they could.

Through pure bullshittery and luck, they manage to make it up, and they board the helicopter. Just as it begins to take flight, the city starts to blow up bit by bit. In the distance, they see other helicopters flying.

> AFTER THE AU <

Mia and her parents reunite, her parents having managed to get out before the children did. Kyde goes to live with his relatives in Texas, and Ethan is offered to live with them as well.

Mia's parents move back to their texas home, and everyone who had been in the city were given therapy. Eventually the three grow up and graduate from highschool, and move on to other things, never once separating.

The three of them eventually move into a single house together in California, and some time after that Mia and Ethan get married. And for a while they live happily

And then, Mia witnesses Ethan having some sort of attack in the middle of the night one time, and realizes that he hadn't been completely cured of whatever had been infecting him in the city at all, and that it had only gone dormant for some years. While he wasn't vicious or attacking anyone, Ethan had just been really plagued and didn't even remember the fits that only seemed to happen every other night.

Out of worry and fear, Mia begins to work for the Connections, hoping there was something she could learn from them in order to help her husband finally be cured. And years after, RE7 began.

And THAT, my friends, is my Raccoon City Survivors au with the Winters, also known as Raccoon City Winters.

[wizardcommune]

aaaaaa i also love urbosa (i’m the previous anon that asked for her ehe) i am just a Little Lesbian who is starved for content... is it too much to ask for sfw alphabet with her? i really don’t think you write her out of character like you worry in the tags :>

urbosa sfw alphabet

a/n - THANK YOU!!! that means so much to hear fndbsngm 

also, i’m so sorry about the wait on this one!! my school’s trimester is ending early so i’ve been trying to raise my grades at mach twenty. i do have a break now though, so i’ll be able to write more frequently!!

pairing - urbosa x reader

warnings - none!!

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

urbosa prefers giving verbal affection, and receiving physical affection! she compliments you as often as possible

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

as a best friend, she teases you a lot. she's like a big sister

but like. y’know. not in a weird way,,

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

she does! she’s not an extremely touchy person, but it would be comforting to hold you

her favorite positions are to lay on her back and put your head on her chest or shoulder, or spooning. no matter your height, She Will Always Be The Big Spoon

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

urbosa would still want to lead gerudo town as chieftain, but she’d settle down more in terms of fighting. she wouldn’t want to risk herself as much considering you were there

honestly i feel like urbosa is just That Person who fucking sucks at cooking. she knows it too; she’ll just kind of stare blankly at you in pain if you suggest she cook

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

she would be fine with the idea of commitment! she would want to wait at least a few years before considering marriage. it’s a weighty decision and she doesn’t want to make the wrong choice since it could harm both of you

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

she’s very gentle with you! definitely not as much as someone like mipha, but she’s very careful not to accidentally hurt you

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

urbosa doesn’t hug you often, but she shows physical affection in other ways. i.e. gently pulling you to lean on her when sitting down, keeping a hand on the small of your back, running her hands through your hair (if she can), etc.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

probably a couple months at least? (i've never been in a relationship so is that normal????) 

she’ll say it on a calmer night, when the yiga clan is silent for once and king rhoam hasn’t called for her help. on rare days like these, she’s accustomed to drawing a bath that smells good as hell, so you’ll be really comfy and probably sleepy LMAO

will tell you right before you fall asleep when she’s thinks you aren’t awake!!! once she realizes you are, will 100% give u a forehead kiss 

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

urbosa doesn’t get jealous very often, mainly pissed if someone won’t stop harassing you. she’ll wrap an arm around your waist, and if they aren’t already intimidated (they’d have to be drunk or just have The Audacity) she won’t hesitate to roast tf out of them. if you thought her teasing you was bad, it’s terrifying now. she won’t hold back

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

she honestly doesn’t have a preference on where to be kissed! she likes kissing you on the shoulder, forehead, and hand the most. :))

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

she’s actually really good with kids! even before she became chieftain, she liked hanging out + playing pretend with them

something really cool about urbosa that the kids like is that she treats them with high respect and talks to them like adults!!! (but very sensitive adults at that; she doesn’t tease them much. kids deserve kindness and you bet she’s gonna fulfill that)

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

she prefers long hours of sleep + waking up late. so if it’s a chill day when you’re not needed for anything, she’ll stay with you in bed for hours

if she wasn’t able to sleep as much, she’ll be lowkey grumpy in the mornings until she gets her tea

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

like the mornings, she drinks tea a lot before bed. she gives me jasmine or chamomile tea energy???? idk

long baths are a must, especially since it’s so sandy,,, everywhere,,,,

she’s the type to have a ton of candles and nice soaps and stuff, so she always smells really good before bed

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

pretty early in the relationship! she trusts you enough to talk about things that are bothering her/have in the past. 

although, i’m not sure if she’d talk about zelda’s mother and stuff like that due to privacy reasons. unless zelda herself didn’t express concern over it, she’d keep the details pretty tight

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

unless you’re a yiga member, urbosa’s patience is very thick. i literally cannot think of a time she would get fully mad at you?? 

if you ever put yourself in danger, (especially for her) she would definitely scold you. never angry, though

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

urbosa remembers things even you don’t remember. mainly things you point out at a marketplace or something. 

(on that note, she is absolutely the type to spoil you. you can mention a pretty flower in rito village in passing and she’ll be convincing revali to go get it for you within an hour)

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

IM SORRY I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING FOR THIS ONE EITHER

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

very protective!! even if you can fight/are a champion, she’ll subconsciously be protecting you in battle. 

she doesn’t want you to worry about protecting her, honestly. (tbh she lowkey likes when you lean on her for safety)

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

she puts a lot of effort into them!! she actually finds it really fun to get to plan dates and stuff. she loves giving gifts and they are always very well thought out!!

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

bold of you to assume urbosa isn’t perfect

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

she does care about her looks, but only because it makes her feel good!! as long as she looks professional and clean, urbosa could care less about what other people think.

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

urbosa is comfortable enough with herself to be okay without a partner, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt. if you ever were to get hurt/leave her, she would be crushed, but she would be able to heal.

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

she hates the cold with a burning passion and anytime she has to go to the tundra, she’s grumpy the whole time

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

i couldn’t think of a partner one, but she’s scared of dogs for some reason. she is a cat person and they lowkey freak her out

z = zzz (what are some sleep habits of theirs?)

even though she has guards, being the chieftain means either of you could be put in danger at any time. because of this, she’s a fairly light sleeper. she’s also pretty protective in her sleep! she’ll pull you close to her and keep a hand on the back of your neck or stomach

[jacks4eva]

reaction to the lost hero by rick riordan

imma be honest this is a long time coming, okay so here’s the timeline we’re looking at so you understand me. i read lightning thief in middle school, dropped it and read it again in ninth grade. then i read sea of monsters, but never started titan’s curse. then for some reason in 11th grade i bought the second book in heroes of olympus and started to read it and got confused so i started to read titan’s curse and got to when percy took artemis’s place and then dropped it...again. very sad that time considering it was LEGIT THE END SO CLOSE. anyway yesterday i read the whole thing again and the battle of the labrinyth in like 6-8 hours. idk i can’t remember if i started at 10pm or midnight but i finished at 6am. anyways today i read the last olympian, and now i’m starting the lost hero. i thought it’d be funny to do my reactions.

this timeline is just funny because i have read so many books, and yet the most popular ones like percy jackson and harry potter, didn’t wanna finish lol. i still haven’t finished goblet of fire yet i read 100 pages an hour and could probably finish it in a day. anyways.

let the reactions begin

okay i’ve heard of jason but i was not expecting a pov already

woah electrocution

he’s already got a love interest what

he said the coach is 5’0 i now imagine the coach as danny devito i have no choice

piper and leo yes i recognize these names

(i’ve seen a lot of posts about percy jackson okay)

i like leo i don’t like dylan

i love the starwars reference

oh look guys we got popular girls that are racist, can they get their asses beat in this pls

dylan is also racist for smiling-asswipe

we love the cherokee representation

i hate them so much can they please leave

“i had to say something” i like coach hedge is this bad

i hope percy is the storm but i just know i wouldn’t be that lucky

ofc dylan is a racist monster

danny devito never returned :(

PLS TELL ME THESE REINFORCEMENTS ARE PERCY AND ANNABETH

who is the bulky dude

i’m sorry i’m laughing he’s a big scary dude with his head shaved and A RAINBOW TATTOO and his name is butch

oh so that’s why percy isn’t here

okay usually when reading i can form some kind of theory or connection but at this point i literally have no clue what is happening

i just knew as soon as he asked that he had abilities with fire but i was not expecting fire fingers

wow what a first impression “you should be dead”

wait so all i remember from the son of neptune was the beginning had percy alone i think and i’m not sure if he had his memory or maybe not and he was running away from monsters, so is what’s happening to jason similar to that? and WILL PERCY NOT BE FOUND IN THIS BOOK?

“That also was necessary. Long ago, your father gave me your life as a gift to placate my anger. He named you Jason, after my favorite mortal. You belong to me.

“Whoa,” Jason said. “I don’t belong to anyone.”

Now is the time to pay your debt, she said. Find my prison. Free me, or their king will rise from the earth, and I will be destroyed. You will never retrieve your memory.”

... okay theories, um a goat skin cloak was mentioned to have been owned by Zeus’s foster mother and that he owned it so the woman could either be the foster mother or Hera. If it was Hera, it would make sense that Zeus gave his son to placate her anger at his cheating or whatever. They are also trapped in Olympus, so prison would make sense. Hera was brought up a lot too, and according to wiki Hera persuaded Aphrodite to make her son make Medea fall in love with a mortal named Jason, so more than likely the lady is Hera. Their king will rise from earth could be the king from the battle of the labrynth, maybe. Or another king ya know there are so many.

Wait a minute

Something else I know about their names is Jason’s last name...JASON GRACE I thought it sounded familiar, because of Thalia Grace. Hah look at me being correct. That explains the flying and not being burnt by a lightning bolt—oh I’m stupid for not seeing it sooner.

Now just gotta figure out who Piper’s parent is.

Aha so I was right it was Hera.

Chiron not being able to give the information they need is kind of annoying.

Enceladus? So a giant offspring of Gaia, um...no bueno. Not a king tho.

“Child of lightning, beware the earth, The giants’ revenge the seven shall birth, The forge and dove shall break the cage, And death unleash through Hera’s rage.”

Okay theory time, child of lightning is obviously Jason. Beware the Earth...yeah no clue. The giants’ revenge the seven shall birth, the giants are probably the children of Gaia since that one giant was her child and it’s the seven are probably the seven half bloods from the great prophecy. The forge and dove shall break the cage, um maybe Leo is the forge since he’s hephaestus’s child (probably butchered the spelling). Doves are typically associated with aphrodite/venus, so idk about that. Maybe Piper is Venus’s child, I mean her God parent is her mom and it’d be funny since she was judging the other aphrodite kids. Also I assume Hera will kill whoever trapped her or someone involved since she’s so mad. Idk.

Could kill Drew btw.

CALLED IT CALLED IT CALLED IT IM A GENIUSSS

Wait. This woman looks like Hera, her clothes are made of Earth and she said Leo would fight her children trying to wake her. They’re gonna try to wake Gaia, which would make sense that it said stay away from Earth if she’s the Earth Goddess

I like the wolves thing because Romulus and Remus, ya know the twin boys who were raised by wolf and started Rome.

“You are our saving grace, as always. The she-wolf curled her lip, as if she had just made a clever joke”

I mean yeah his last name is grace

“She must really like this Percy guy to search for him so hard, and that made Jason a little envious. Was anyone searching for him right now? What if somebody cared for him that much and was going out of her mind with worry, and he couldn’t even remember his old life?”

so what if Percy’s just chilling at the Roman version of camp halfblood without a clue to who he is? bro.

Imagine reading this and seeing all of things I get right and wrong and wanting to slam your head into a wall.

Okay like idk why Annabeth was freaking out we kind of knew they were siblings, I mean they have the same dad. Unless this is saying they have the same mom or are twins or something. That’d be cool. That’s probably what he’s saying tbh but still, could’ve emphasized it more than “that’s my sister” like dude.

Anyway, they look very different so that’s funny.

King Boreas? uh.

Oo French

Let’s see what I can translate from the very little duolingo I did. Bienvenu, maybe a greeting. Idk which tho. Je suis Piper, I am Piper. Et c’est Jason, fils de Zeus, and this is Jason, son of Zeus. Vous parlez francais? tres bien, you speak french? good. Hey not bad, not shockingly good but considering I did the duolingo lessons 4 years ago, not bad. Vrai? Truth? Yeah I just looked it up.

Danny devito is alive!

“Leo scratched his head. “Well, I dunno about Enchiladas—”

“Enceladus,” Piper corrected.”

Leo is me omfg

DANNY DEVITO IS BACK

Arrows...HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS PLS?

“Leo stepped out next. “You’re catching me, too, Superman. But I ain’t holding your hand.”

this made me laugh ok moving on

Uh fight a sea monster? bro is Jason just Percy 2.0

“Aphrodite’s message was clear: This one needs no improvement.

And Piper agreed.”

I wonder if you can hear me squealing from hundreds or thousands of miles away

Did you miss the fact that he’s thirty feet tall— I DIED

Who slew titan k-what now? So basically yes. Percy 2.0

Okay I recognize the name Hazel, and all I ask is that she is not involved with Jason because Jason and Piper are really freaking cute.

an exchange of leaders, SO THEY DID SWITCH THEM

The way I called it

I WAS RIGHT AHA

anyways. time to read son of neptune

[alanncs]

hello my loves , it’s dani aka the ari mascot on the main ! if u don’t already know me , i’m 21 , i’m from toronto which puts me in the est tz , & i have a unhealthy obsession w/ mgk 🥰 hehe , that’s me ! let’s b friends pls !! anyway , i’m so so excited to be back in wealthy with all u angels , i seriously missed everyone so much ! okay , so i’m gonna put some info bout my girl alanna under the cut ... i switched her up quite a bit so i’m xcited 2 be bringing her back ! pls give this a like if u wanna plot with me & i’ll come bother u !!  also pls feel free to msg me on discord for anything 🥰 𝒎𝒈𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 .#1958

new york’s very own alanna d'alessio was spotted on broadway street , with a striking semblance to hailey bieber !  you may know them as @alanna or hitting the front page of tmz as youngest d’alessio heiress alanna caught trashing nyc four seasons hotel room . according to tmz , you just had your twenty - first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being reticent , but also charming . things that would paint a better picture of you would be the lingering smell of smoke , anything pink  &  gold  jewelry  . ( cisfemale + she/her  ) * vc/career claim : lennon stella .

                   *  /   𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠 .

full  name  :  alanna  marie  d’alessio  .

age :  twenty  -  one  .

hometown  :  new  york  city  .

zodiac  chart  : scorpio  sun  ,  aquarius  moon  ,  libra  rising  .

character  inspo  :  alyssa (  the  end  of  the  f*cking  world )  ,  marissa  cooper  (  the  o.c )  ,  hanna  marin  ( pretty  little  liars ) .

                  *  /   𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚   !!  (  tw  : kidnapping , ransom , drugs , ptsd  )

alanna was born heir to the d'alessio family which came with the billion dollar dynasty that her parents created .

her dad is an italian government official  but they grew up in ny basically bc her dad is an ambassador/representative for italy  &  her mother is a super model who also wanted to raise her kids here having lived here her whole life , and so they did . 

she had everything handed to her on a silver platter and her parents expected nothing but success from her because of how wealthy they were, they knew they would never have to worry about providing for her and her siblings , and so they spoiled her with whatever she asked for and more

but that came with a price, she was expected to do everything they wanted of her, go to an ivy league college, follow in one of her parent’s career footsteps

alanna did just that, she got amazing grades in high school and was head of many student clubs, organized prom, got almost perfect on sat’s and exams, and busted her ass to get into a good college despite the fact that her parents could’ve easily gotten her a spot if she didn’t do as well as she did

her life was going so well, she had the perfect boyfriend, perfect group of friends, was on her way to brown university in a couple of months, her parents and her couldn’t have been in a better spot with their daughter

the last thing they expected was for someone, a stranger, to get their hands on their daughter . 

a week after her 18th birthday , she’s walking to school on a monday morning and before she knows what’s happening , there’s something over her head and she’s being dragged into a van and taken from her life

the one thing that was expected, was the $10 million ransom she was held for

basically her dad had some shady dealings with the italian mob & didn’t pay his debts to them for some time - so they kidnapped alanna in retaliation for that

they kept her for 3 days before her parents were able to work with the authorities to get her returned and pay the people in full

surprisingly, she was returned alive but she had to spend two weeks in the hospital afterwards with injuries

once alanna was returned, she wasn’t the same

she told the police what happened to her , but only barely . she didn’t tell her parents or anyone else about what they did to her when she was gone . she didn’t speak , eat or sleep for two months after she got home

she spent the last few months of her high school in bed, she didn’t attend her graduation, deferred from going to brown in the fall, she didn’t see her friends anymore and she broke up with her boyfriend

the people who took her were never caught & she is still to this day completely terrified of going anywhere alone

she never walks anywhere alone 

it took her months to be able to get back to doing normal things again and being who she was before

to this day ,  alanna still struggles with the memories and the ptsd from what happened to her , but she doesn’t speak to anyone about it and she refuses to bring it up in any scenario

she also has a horrible relationship with her father now , having trouble forgiving him for what happened to her

some people know about it as obviously, being as famous as her family is, it was on the news at the time, and everyone she went to high school with knew what happened so sometimes it can be hard to avoid it ( possible connections ? hehe )

                                        *  /   𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚  !!  (  tw : drugs )

ok here comes the fun part hehe where i changed her up a bit !

alanna’s def still wild ! i’ve decided to tone it up a few notches this time around

so she’s completely intertwined in the nyc party scene , like , you’ll see her at any big club or party every weekend and tbh probably on a wednesday you’ll see her there too

she kinda acts like nicole & paris on the  simple life lmao like she’s always doing dumb shit 

she’s always under some kind of influence whether it be cocaine , weed , alcohol , shrooms , percs , she’s always gotta be on something 

after dropping out of school , she knew she wanted to pursue a career in the industry , growing up she was a child actress &  did some dancing 

she always had a knack for singing & songwriter , got her first guitar at the age of six & just never stopped

it was always like an escape from reality for her , just to have music playing and let her voice go free

so after making some money through instagram modelling & some professional 

she decided to pursue her music career this past year 

her vc is lennon stella cus i just feel like the songs fit alanna perfectly and lennon’s voice is magical so yah

she can be very selfish at times , to a fault . like u can call  her out for treating u like shit and she’s gonna be like , yeah sorry . don’t cry 2 much bout it . she really doesn’t care 

it takes her a LONG time to get close to people , so like if ur  someone she actually cares about and loves , ur gonna know it . and if ur not , ur gonna know that too lo l

she does not hide how she feels about things or ppl , she’ll tell u straight up like

istg this girl prob doesn’t have a filter she just says what pops into her head first

here’s her pinterest board for more of an idea !!!

if u read all this i seriously love u sorry its so long ohp

CONNECTIONS !!!!!!! I WANT . THEM ALL . PLS GIME ALL OF THEM .

i have tons of IDEAS here @alannaisms​  !  so pls look thru that & lemme kno if any would fit with  alanna & ur muse !  heh ok im done ily  guys pls come plot with me <3

[amjustagirl]

Nikkiiii hihiii how are you?? how was your week?? how was your day?? I hope you got enough sleep >:)

I read Love knows not its depth (until the hour of separation) and... woahh

Okay first off, it just made me appreciate my parents a whole lot more. Recently I've had some downs with them (me and my habit to get distracted with messaging friends being the one at fault primarily) and idk i just felt hurt and annoyed (more so a week ago but not so much now) and its just....when I read your fic i just instantly had a lot of flashbacks of me and my parents and what all they do for me and how not easy raising a fussy child like me was and i just felt so so grateful to have my parents yk.

And second, man the beginning was so painful yet so real. Like often when people write such scenarios they quickly make it fluffy by having one person forgive the other after they change their behavior for a period of time. However, the more likely scenario that i feel happens is that when someone feels cast aside and that hurt, only a week of acting better or helping them out more really isn't enough. It could honestly take years to heal. It hurts a LOT and makes you wish it didn't work that way but it does and I feel you captured that part of redeeming oneself -due to any reason- quite beautifully.

also, ma'am, YOU PLAY 5 INSTRUMENTS I-

YOU'RE SO TALENTED OMG

(fun story, i picked up the guitar in 4th grade, learnt it for a few months and dropped it cuz my fingers ached💀 i started playing it again last year after i made some band friends [im quite a competitive being so really, all i thought when i wiped the dust from my ancient guitar was that i had to master it and play as good or even better than them...they had been playing the guitar for almost 4 years pls what eVEN] and i had to take a break for exams but i seriously started it again this year and i plan to continue it as much as i can...BUT

bruh sometimes you look at other people playing the same instrument and then you listen to yourself play it as a beginner and it just :( also, i have barely 3 more years until college and ig im just worried abt my profile and stuff too and just ajyfgetfege its all such a mess💀👌 im sorry for ranting a little ahdyfg i meant to express my awe for you KNOWING HOW TO PLAY 5 INSTRUMENTS OMG AND YOU WRITE LIKE A GODDESS TOO PLS AMAZING)

ahbyfg that will be all. Take care of yourself <333

Hello Nanini!!! it’s so nice to see you again! 

haha yes - i drew a LOT of inspiration from my mom when i was writing this story, her angst and the hardship she must have suffered bringing up two daughters along with a full time job (and a difficult mother in law) was something i really tapped on. i mean tbh i think a lot of people have fraught relationships with their parents (because parents are human, are some rly aren’t meant to be parents), so im grateful for mine and i’m glad to hear you have lovely parents too (we all go through some angst with our parents in our teenage years, don’t sweat it, it’s only normal)! 

redemption for kuroo was tricky to write. i definitely tried to build it up, show him put in a sustained effort, and show them fall in love and build their relationship again without either of them saying “i love you”. it’s...a very asian thing you know? to say i love you without saying i love you - again, something i drew on from seeing my chinese parents grow up yknow?  

i was worried at first, writing him as neglectful - was worried people might say i’ve mischaracterised him, but i feel like there’s the potential for him to lose sight of his family because he’s so ambitious. he doesn’t do it intentionally - he just has a bad case of tunnel vision imo. 

HAHA i’m not talented! my parents signed me up for piano lessons as a kid (again, very stereotypically asian), and i ended up studying music as a subject in high school so i had to pick up a second instrument (clarinet). then i joined the orchestra and picked up a few more instruments there, mostly out of necessity cos my main instrument sounds....most like a bagpipe so there are some songs that wouldn’t have a part for it! anw - practice the guitar if it makes YOU happy, and don’t compare yourself to others, its unhealthy and rly your only competition is yourself! 

as for college applications - breathe. take it one day at a time, albeit with an eye on your overall goal. i was such an anxious teenager, worrying about college exams and i sorta regret not giving myself the space to truly find myself and have fun. so i’d say, while you should work hard and work smart, don’t forget that you’re only young once, so live life and explore what makes you happy - it’ll stand you in good stead for happiness further down the road <3 

[sunatin]

suna x fem reader

summary: you and suna has been friends till your childhood, you started to liked him in grade school but you are Afraid to tell him what you feel until it waa too late.

warning: broken hearts, angst, one sided love.

December 01

" rintarou! " you called.

Suna turned his head in your direction knowing who is the one calling him.

" oh hey y/n ! " he greeted you back while he was smiling. The smile you are always happy to see.

you always liked him since grade school, you liked him the way he smiled at you. 

Even though there's a lot of boys in your first year of highschool liked you and confessed to you. You rejected all of them, because there's only one man who makes your heart flutter and that man is Suna Rintarou.

You never knew what he felt about you, but you're never curious about how he felt to you because after all you never confessed to him.

You have reasons why you never confess. One of the reason is you are afraid to lose him but you're not afraid that he'll not love you back.

you are happy if he's happy, that's all you need his smile.

" Do I have practice today? " you asked him

" yeah, you'll wait for me?" he looked at you while fixing his stuff.

" duh.. of course i'm always waiting for you, besides my mom will get mad at me if i won't wait for you " you sigh

yes, your mom gets mad if you're going home without rintarou. You still don't get the point why but she told you once and she said it's for safety.

so it became your routine with rintarou. You always wait for him.

you and suna went to the gym

" hello! kita-senpai " you greeted the captain as he was the only one there.

" where are the others? ``Rintarou asked his senpai.

" They'll be here in a few minutes, it's still pretty early, " kita replied.

you went to the bench and sat while rintarou went to the changing room.

While you sat on the bench you saw the other team enter the gym.

" hello aran-kun, akagi-kun " you greeted the first one who entered.

" hi tsumu and samu" you greeted the twins.

" oh hi y/n, it's nice to see you again " Atsumu greeted you while he put his arms on your shoulders.

you're kind of used to this because he's always this touchy and you guys are pretty much close.

" Tsumu stop that why are you always touchy to y/n, you know she likes someone else " samu told his twin brother.

" Oh shut yer trap " he said as he removed his arms from your shoulders.

" okay let's get started now! " aran called the teams.

you went to the bleachers as you always do and watch them practice.

when the practice is done you went down and went outside to wait for rintarou as you always do.

" let's go " rintarou went out of the gym

" kayyy " you followed him

He walked you home and he went to his home as always.

December 02

ring ring ring

7:00 am

you woke up and went to do your morning routine.

"bye mom! i love you" you told your mom goodbye

"bye darling! I love you too! goodluck!" you're mother waved bye to you too.

you arrived at your school and went to greet rintarou first.

but when you saw him he was talking to a girl, who was unfamiliar to you.

you ignored it and just went to your room

in the morning classes you felt so drained as if you don't want to move or listen.

ringggg

it's now recess time and you don't have the appetite to eat so you just put your head on your table. As if you are waiting for rintarou to go and call you for recess but nothing.

recess is now done and you felt someone approach you table to see atsumu.

" hey y/n did you eat yet? " he asked you

" no, I don't have the appetite to eat " you put your head up to atsumu holding a box of milk and a green tea pocky stick.

" what come y/n, here at least eat something" he offered you the food

"thank you, you can just leave it there" you still don't have the appetite.

time skip

all of your classes are done now and you're just waiting for rintarou.

you saw him and went to him.

" hey rintarou let's go, you don't have practice today right? '' you said to him

" yeah " he replied to you while looking at his phone.

the girl passed by, the girl who's rin talking to earlier and you felt something weird.

you looked at rintarou, he's now looking at the girl instead of his phone.

he looks at her as if she's brighter than the blue sky.

he's mesmerized by her while you....

you're dying inside.

this is it, this it the time you realized that it's time before it's too late.

too late for rintarou to love you back.

December 03

you went to school as early as possible to wait for rintarou.

when you saw a familiar lemon shaped hair, you quickly went to him.

"rintarou!" you called him

"y/n? why are you here already it's still early." rin asked you

" I just need to talk to you, I need time so I came here as early as possible."

you grab his hands and took him to the gym, it's still early so no one's there.

"what do you want to tell me? Did I do something wrong?" rin asked you as if he's nervous.

"no no you didn't do anything wrong i just need to tell you something important" you told him.

"okay what is it"

"uhm...... i liked you rintarou, no i love you rintarou since grade school" you confessed to him and you don't know what to feel but what u are feeling right now is sadness.

you don't know why you felt sadness that you already confessed your real feelings.

Is it because you already know the answer?

maybe

"y/n......." rintarou looked at you with worried eyes.

"no it's okay you don't have to tell me anything i already know your answer" you talked as tears slid through your cheeks.

"y/n...i'm sorry" "i'm sorry i like you too but i like her better" "i'm sorry i don't want to lose you" he holds your face and you see tears in his eyes.

he kissed you

you were shock, you pushed him off and told him

"why would you even kiss me! if she was better! and I'm not even half, as pretty!" you shouted

"im sorry" these are the word that only come to rintarou's mouth

"sorry? is that the only words you can say?" you sigh

"rintarou, do remember when you gave me your sweater because it looks good on me more than you do? funny that i still have the sweater you gave me, i kept it till middle school" you just laugh of the pain.

rintarou just looks at the looks you never wanted to see. Sadness.

ringgggg

I guess this is it.

the classes went well

Now it's time to go home and you went out of your room to see a familiar sweater and you went to see who's wearing it.

It's the girl who's rintarou talking yesterday.

"hey Heather" you heard a very familiar voice

She's with rintarou?

you watched her as she stands with rintarou, Her holding hands with the guy you liked. The guys who can only make you happy.

You wish you could hate her, but you can't. She's such an angel no wonder rintarou liked her.

you ran as far as you can to them as if you are avoiding them.

you went to see you're at park, an unfamiliar one.

you cried and cried

" I hate this, I don't want to hate her but I want to now! I hate her! i hate this! i wish she wes dead!" you shouted as you cry

" y/n "

you heard a very familiar voice, the voice you always wanted to hear.

you saw him, you saw rintarou, the guy you love and only care for.

"rintarou"

he hugged you

you're shocked, not because he hugged you because you felt....

nothing.

why?

you pulled aways and just smiled at him

"oh rintarou" you giggle

"i see you gave her your sweater just like you did to me at middle school" you looked at him

"you know what? it's just polyester, but you liked her better" you smiled at him

"I wish I was heather."

again you show him your wide smile as if he won't see it again.

tears stream through your cheeks as you say your last three words to him.

"wish i were"

Heather .

Hello it's my first time writing a story like this. tbh my heart aches when i was writing this because i don't like sad endings. But i just gave it a try and it hurts.

well hoped you liked it!

[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

[averygim]

hello all. you can call me cal or jeepers, which is my discord name and i think is funny tbh, but i mostly go by cal. my pronouns are they/them and ‘m in the est timezone. i’m a bit late to the game but i’m still v excited to introduce my child avery to ya’ll. below is a whole mass of text that’ll help you get to know this mess of a child. uwu it’s easiest to reach me on discord at jeepers creepers #5103, but i also try and respond as quick as i can to tumblr ims so it’s really whatever you prefer !!

basics

name: avery gim job: baker at peau d’amour age: twenty-five gender: cismale pronouns: he/him sexuality: grey-asexual / panromantic birthday: february 6th zodiac: aquarius personality type:  advocate | infj pinterest board: HERE

aesthetic

the haunting sound of a piano in a memory you can’t quite reach

a warm summer night spent watching fireflies dance among the trees

a bite of a fresh peach that leaves your mouth sticky and sweet

theme song: the 7th sense by nct u

hatred that will not go away and dreams that torture me the clock laughs at me, it does not give a single error i’m a mess, I don’t even know myself, my future is colored darkly i’m struggling, coloring this night even blacker in the irregularity that’s hard to understand there’s a story that’s deeply hidden eyes are being opened through this song your dreams are being read it’s being awakened from a deep sleep my seventh sense

positive & negative

affable ( adj ) : friendly, good-natured, or easy to talk to.

languid ( adj ) : (of a person, manner, or gesture) displaying or having a disinclination for physical exertion or effort; slow and relaxed.

versatile ( adj ) : able to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities.

candid ( adj ) :  truthful and straightforward; frank.

then

it begins when he’s four years old - this obsession in him. his parents couldn’t have expected that sending their son to piano lessons we enact such a wild passion in their small, quiet boy. it was hard to pick out at first. often, they would pick their child up from his lesson to find his small chubby cheeks stained with tears. his parents assumed he was simply being stubborn about learning the instrument. they would see the kids dragged to the lessons bemoaning their distaste to it to their parents and would tell each other “our boy is simply quiet with his dislike for it. he has never been a talker.” and  would keep taking him week after week. the piano teacher couldn’t enlighten them to what was going through their child’s mind in terms of why he seemed to work himself up into such a state. she explained to them that he seemed attentive whenever she would teach him and it was only until he started to practice on his own that the tears would begin. neither parties could get a word out of the child though he often seemed to calm fairly quickly post lesson, spending the car ride home pressing his small fingers into his thighs as though there was an invisible piano etched into his skin. at one point, his parents seemed to give in a bit to their uncertainty of how their child was doing, offering to take him out of the lessons. the aggressive shake of the four years old’s head and high squeaky voice insisting “ no, no !! “ was quite the surprise. it wasn’t until a year later, when he began to find his voice that he admitted to his piano teacher that he just loved piano so much, he couldn’t stop himself from crying whenever he got to play. the teacher passed this along to the parents with much amusement and relief.

the passion the young boy had for the instrument didn’t falter over the years, even as his peers turned to other extracurriculars and sports rather than the piano. his parents opted to get him a keyboard to set up in his room on his seventh birthday, still wary about how long he would remain content with the lessons. they had never enjoyed the instrument with such conviction when they were forced to take lessons growing up. it was, at least, comforting to know that their quiet child still enjoyed spending time doing kid things, such as playing outside, playing pretend and colouring. he even showed an interest in baking, which he often did with his grandmother, much to the disbelief of his father. still, he was a good child and despite the wariness his father had of allowing him to indulge in his more feminine hobbies ( he was very much stuck in the throws of toxic masculinity ), his mother and grandparents supported him fully in whatever he wanted to do. so during the week, he would go to his piano lessons and play with the neighbourhood kids outside. then, on the weekends, he would spend time with his mother’s parents, often baking some sort of treat with his grandmother and listening to his grandfather tell tall tales of his own childhood.

as he got older, his skill in piano progressed more and more. between his lessons and the studious way he practiced, he ended up participating in a variation of different concerts. by the time he reached his early teens, he was playing with the adult orchestra with nine years of lessons and experience under his belt. it was an astounding thing- to hear him play. it was as if this lazy, beautiful human was gifted with talent from the gods, but he wasn’t. he worked for his ability. countless hours pressing fingers into plastic keys. perhaps that is why, for his sixteenth birthday, his grandparents and parents pulled together the money to buy him a grand piano. it was then, upon walking into the home to find the piano gracing the room that used to be the den of their house, that he discovered he hadn’t quite outgrown his habit of crying when overwhelmed with emotion.

between creating compositions, practicing, baking with his grandma, and the hell that was high school, he didn’t have much time for anything else. he didn’t mind. he was content with his work, both with the piano and at school. he had a tendency to overwork himself within the confines of his piano room and bedroom between the two. this led to him developing a bad reputation of being a lazy and privileged individual who got away with sleeping in class. his peers saw him as someone favoured by teachers, when in truth it was simply because he’d had multiple discussions previously with them about being awake in class. many of them had agreed to let it slide so long as his grades were maintained. it was a necessary thing to seek as if his parents found out they would no doubt put restrictions on how he was working. 

despite the peer isolation, which later led to a fair amount of social awkwardness on his part, he seemed to get along great with those he went up against in competitions. perhaps it was their shared love or enjoyment of the instrument. regardless, he created a group of friends outside of the school scene and, despite many of them being older than him, he was respected and treated much better than others his age treated him. 

the summer post high school graduation saw him doing something no one could have predicted ( aside from his grandfather who swears up and down that he saw this coming since he was seven years old ). he set out on a tour of major cities, performing alone on a stage with simply a piano, a mask, and a single spotlight. see, in the latter years of his teens, he really blew up thanks to the internet. he became known under a moniker the he’d used on his youtube channel, which he would post videos of his personal compositions and covers of songs on. it led to some artists and producers reaching out collaborate, which, in turn, increased his popularity.

( car accident tw ) life was good for five years. he got to do what he loved and loved what he did. of course, all good things must come to an end, even if that good thing felt like it is your entire life. at twenty three, the now grown quiet boy got into a car accident. a drunk driver hit the car his mother was driving with him in the passenger seat. his mother survived with a few bruised ribs and a broken arm while he came out of it with severe head trauma. head trauma that, out of all things, resulted in hearing loss. the cochlea and hearing nerves in his inner ears were damaged to the point that it sounded like a hush fell over the world. it was a difficult reality to swallow. 

( depression tw ) it was a loss like no other. he could no longer hear his piano. he could no longer get lost in the world his music created. depression hit him heavy and hard, dragging him under in a suffocating hold. seventeen years. he’d been playing piano for seventeen years and now that ability was severely disabled. he withdrew, cutting ties with almost all of his friends who were apart of the music world. his parents didn’t know what to do with their quiet child who seemed to become deathly silent after the accident. the whole family had signed up in solidarity to learn asl alongside him. the only ones who seemed to muster out any sort of reactions or responses from him were his grandparents who struggled to learn the new way of communicating. he tried hearing aids in addition, however, the damaged required a more intensive solution. cochlear implants. he refused despite the struggle he still faced with the hearing aids. his family tried to get him to go through with the surgery, however he was an adult and it was his decision to make. so he continued to allow himself to waste away in the distorted world around him. his father responded to his state with anger, while his mother grieved and worried over him from afar. his grandparents were around as much as they could be, reaching out with patient hands. it would take two years for him to reach back.

twenty-four and feeling stuck, exhausted, and just down right sick, the quiet boy finally inched out of the shell the accident had left him in. it starts with therapy, then medication, and ends with stepping into the kitchen with his grandmother again. his piano remained untouched, gathering dust in his home behind a locked door. no one brought it up, not yet, and instead slow steps were eventually taken. he spoke for the first time post asl and hearing aids to his mother. his voice raspy and barely there from disuse. he couldn’t hear himself, but his mother had burst into tears as his grandparents smiled at each other with watery eyes. it was progress. slow progress, but they were glad that he was finally taking steps forward. 

it was five months after his twenty-fourth birthday that he decided to undergo the cochlear implant surgery. he held no hope for what he’d be able to do with the upgrade. he didn’t allow himself to think of the abandoned piano or the possibility of getting back into music. no, instead, he simply kept his eyes forward as though the past no longer existed. instead, he spent his time baking with his grandmother, helping with the small business she’d started when he was in middle school. the surgery was a success, but the quiet man did not cry when he was finally able to hear with more clarity. there were no tears of overwhelming happiness, instead he’d simply smiled at his mother when she asked if he could hear her and said yes.

it took him six months to decide he needed to move. despite his family still living in the area he grew up in, he needed to get away. he wanted out of the city and eventually settled on moving to beauhart, a place suggested by one of the few friends he kept in touch with post-accident. the official transition happened three months ago where he moved out of the apartment he bought for himself at twenty and into his own home. it was a bit large for just himself and his mother worried that he would fall back into bad habits, but he loved the old styled place. it had a front porch and was painted a gentle yellow. the front was filled with a garden of flowers and bushes that wrapped around to the fence that encased the backyard. his father hated it, but his grandparents had approved when they first saw it, having travelled with his mother to help with the unpacking once everything had arrived. it held more warmth than his apartment had. perhaps it was because he was going to be living in it full time or the character / personality the house itself had. regardless, he felt settled for the first time in almost two years. no one mentioned the grand piano that had been placed in the third bedroom of the house.

three months post move found him working at the local bakery. the early mornings were tough, but the consistency was enjoyable for him. it helped, significantly, with his mental health. he promised his mother to call at least twice a week and his grandmother almost every other day to gossip. despite his awkwardness with social cues and languid nature, he managed to make connections with other residents. things seemed to be looking up, though there still remained that empty part of him and a door unopened.

extras

he is, for all intents and purposes, socially an idiot. he can’t pick up verbal cues up very well and often chooses to ignore them even if they are glaringly obvious. some kind find this incredibly annoying or be endeared by it. usually it’s the former, though avery has never minded. he has no desire to be liked by everyone and is more than happy to continue going by the beat of his own drum.

definitely often produces the wrong first impressions, especially with his looks. he takes care of himself, has been instilled with the habit, especially after how rough his twenty-third and fourth year was. so it’s not often he goes out looking like the drowned rat he enjoys being at home. it’s part of his routine that has helped him stay on track mentally.

definitely a momma’s boy, but would literally do anything for his grandparents. he is planning on having them visiting him as soon as he manages to get his guest room furnished and decorated. 

 if he wants to avoid something, he ignores it. it’s a terrible coping habit that manifests in small instances and larger situations. it’s very childish in many ways, but his therapist has yet to be able to break him out of it. 

is looking into adopting an animal, but is torn between what sort of animal. he has been looking at the humane society, but has yet been able to decide.

he is very indecisive about the smallest of things, but somehow manages to be able to make the bigger and more important decisions ??? 

has a very weird and varied taste in music.

 learned korean from his grandparents when he was younger but primarily speaks english or asl. 

often moves around his house without his hearing aids and keeps things quiet. a book nerd post accident. his favourite thing to do is spend the day on his porch swing reading.

he has been thinking of taking online business courses to learn more about running/owning his own business. he hasn’t mentioned it to anyone, not is planning to, but when he thinks about the future he’s wondering if owning his own bakery could be a possible option.

honestly a sleepy boy even though he has a perfectly reasonable sleep schedule ???

doesn’t know how to flirt. doesn’t even know how to hold a conversation with someone he has a crush on. is very awkward with them.

likes to try and make wacky things (baking wise) when bored then try and make you try it without any forewarning. 

is actually pretty good at making elaborate cakes and frosting designs. does cake commissions on the side for birthdays, in fact.

gets lost really easily. its been three months and he still sometimes forgets where to turn when driving home.

will steal your pet if you leave him alone with them ( not literally ).

is terrible at texting and is the type of person to call you to have a conversation. this is mostly because he’s too lazy to text.

enjoys memes and quotes them sarcastically, sometimes when it’s definitely not appropriate.

has a habit of staring without meaning too. this could either be off into space or actually at someone. he doesn’t necessarily mean to do it. at times it’s a case of dissociation and others it’s simply him having no common sense and/or is blatant day dreaming.

will not ride as a passenger in a car. he’s been able to drive again post implants but the trauma of the accident has caused him a real fear of being someone else’s passenger. 

sometimes, without him realizing it, he’ll mime playing the piano. the habit of pressing his fingers into invisible keys too engrained to erase. he attempts to avoid music a lot, especially classical. it’s somewhat impossible to do at work and outside of his home. at times, he gives in to his desire to try and hear it the way he used to and will blast the music until he can feel the base thrumming in his veins. it’s as detoxing as it is frustrating. as much as he can hear, it will never be like it used to be for him.

if you read all of this i applaud you. tell me your favourite colour, animal, and/or food and then we can plot C:<

[sofhyuck]

Greasy Baby

Genre: fluff, greaser!hyuck

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N this au stems from some enlightening conversations with @cinanamon who is graciously allowing me to use some of her ideas, this one’s for you bb ;))))

greaser!hyuck is...a lil shit to say the least

like ye he’s a handsome boi i mean,,,imagine him in a leather jacket,,,hair gelled back,,,yes pls

but he knows him and his group of bois (dreamies hello) are hot shit and he’s not afraid to show that he knows it

him and the dreamies are always seen cruising around town,,, harassing hollerin at the ladies from the inside of hyuck’s beat up mustang (is that a time period correct car??? idk and idc to look it up lol)

he never actually physically harasses anyone, it’s all fun and games (for them at least don’t accept cat calling kids men ain’t shit)

there’s just...nothing else really for them to do around town

the only forms of entertainment come from the drive in theater and the soda shop that all the kids hang out at after school

he attends his local university since him and the gang come from a small town and didn’t really care to leave or have the grades to go to a better school

and you...well you don’t really know why you decided to attend a university in such a dinky little town

maybe it’s because you wanted a change of pace from the city, and maybe it’s because it’s your mother’s alma mater and you spent a few of your summers there

but somehow you find yourself at the school

the only problem is,,,everyone who attends the school grew up in the dumb town,,,meaning everyone already knows each other and has their friend groups and cliques

leaving you to fend for yourself and kind of live as an outsider

sure you make acquaintances in your classes but,,,it’s hard for you to make solid friends when everyone else already knows everything about everyone else 

so you’ve been living your life on campus, smiling at the acquaintances you’ve made when you pass by them on the street, but you never really hang out with anyone after school

your sophomore year you got a job at the soda shop bc college ain’t cheap and they were hiring

surprisingly enough you made close friends through the job, your coworkers went to the same uni as you and the clientele were also in some of your classes

so you began to actually go out more (when you weren’t working obvi)

on day you were on campus walking to your next class and you saw one of said new friends

but while you were distracted with waving to them you bumped into someone and woop guess who????

you guessed it our boy hyuck with the rest of 00 line walking past

he was bouta pop off but then he sees it’s you the cute lil waitress from the soda shop that he’s lowkey seen around and been crushing on for a few months now

so when he sees you stuttering out an apology bc boi is brighter than the damn son and took your breath away

he just smirks and lets out a lil chuckle and just says ‘don’t worry about it sweetcheeks’ with a wink and then he’s off

you stand there for a moment in shock bc like obvi you know who he is even if you’ve only been around a few years who tf doesn’t know hyuck and co

and ofc your friends all saw and were like...b don’t even worry about it he just be like that sometimes ya know

and you’re like yea u right and forget about the whole encounter

but guess who doesn’t ohohoho it’s mister lee donghyuck himself he be thinking about it the rest of the day bc wow you’re even prettier up close huh

and the rest of dream are like...mmhmm ok mr. lee not sus at all we’re on. to. you.

so guess where hyuck ever so casually zooms off to after his classes are over????

oh boy you guessed it right off to the soda shop but oomph poor bb you’re not actually working that day and bb is sad :(((( meanwhile his boys are just laughing at him bc omg hyuck is so w hi p pe d

so now bb is going to the shop every moment he can until!!! finally!!! you’re working again god bless!!!

as soon as he sees you’re working baby sits bolt up right and starts fixing his slicked back hair that he had totally not been running his hands through out of nerves

the other boys weren’t there bc??? they have better places to be than at the soda shop for the 50000 time that day even though chenle and jisung had been there earlier just to laugh at him

but now holy shit you’re coming over and you look so cute in the dumb poodle skirt they make you wear as a uniform with your hair placed in a high ponytail

meanwhile you’re sw e a t i n g bc shit it’s hyuck and he’s still a handsome ass boy and you have to serve his table n ow f u c k

so you sidle on over and give him your usual spiel asking what he’d like to order n shit

and this boy omf remember when i said he was annoying?

well yea he fucking goes ‘are you on the menu bc I’d certainly like to have a piece of you’

and you’re like...boy tf oh my god i want to SLAP him 

but you grin through it like ha ha...funny ok...our specials for today are...

hyuck ain’t listening anymore bc he’s busy mentally kicking himself bc??? really hyuck??? you’re trying to make her like you wtf were you t h in k i ng

so he just points at some random thing on the menu, his head hanging in shame

and yea you’d think it was cute if he hadn’t just gotten on your damn nerves

but, alas, you have to continue serving the boy who had ordered literally just a fried egg but you know who were you to judge

he eats the egg rather quickly and then just...sits there...not doing anything...and you don’t know what to do like you can’t kick him out he did order something and it’s not particularly busy

meanwhile hyuck’s head is spinning trying to think of how to woo you after completely embarrassing himself earlier

after like an hour passes you head over to him, ready to ask him again if he wants anything else to eat 

but as soon as you get to him he jolts upright scaring the shit out of you and he’s like fuck sorry i didn’t mean to scare you 

and you’re like it’s fine now seriously do you want anything else-

but he cuts you off and suddenly...lee donghyuck?? is grabbing onto your hand??? and rapidly apologizing to you for being so Gross earlier

you gotta shake the boy off of you and honestly,,,he’s really endearing like aw he’s so embarrassed what a bb

when you get out of his grip you’re like bro it’s ok tbh i get much worse all the time

suddenlt hyuck is ready to f i g ht like who tf??? i will square up 

in your head you’re like,,,bitch ik you catcall don’t even try...but in reality you’re like mmmhmm sure ok you couldn’t hurt a damn fly

hyuck is angery now like wdym im tough >:( don’t you see my leather jacket and cool hair and car???

and you,,,oh you little reader pat lee donghyuck’s fUCkiNg head and now he is blushing oooooh

in a smol voice he asks for his check and leaves you a v generous tip despite your protests

and by that time his confidence seems to come back bc he winks and tells you he’ll be back

you giggle and give him a lil wave bc...wow lee donghyuck is just a cute shy lil bb hehe

and now hyuck is coming in every day,,,sometimes with his boys,,,sometimes alone but no matter what he’s always sure to, in a respectful manner, flirt with you and chat you up while dream just look on in amusement bc, again, hyuck is wh i p p e d

y’all just kinda...live like that for a few weeks but it’s v clear to e v er y body that there is shit going down between the two of you

like at this point hyuck’s hanging around campus with you too so like,,,everyone and their mother knows at this point bc,,,like i said earlier,,,everyone in this damn town knows everything about everyone

so ya’ll are stagnant, hyuck flirting, you laughing and sometimes flirting back

until one day ohhh boy there’s a new boul in town and he is not ashamed at all

and by that i mean he’s the biggest fucking asshole to ever step foot in the town, thinking he’s hot shit and everybody wants him when everyone hates his g u t s

and this boy has been hanging around the shop, livin his life, waiting for his moment to strike

but uh oh he made a mistake bc the first person he attempts to come on to...is you

and hyuck has been there bc he knows this guy has been hanging around and he wants to keep an eye on you his girl

it was a good thing too bc... this boul is going all out

tugging lightly at your skirt when you come to take his order while he uses the same cringy line hyuck used on you that first day

and hyuck knows you’re a big girl who can handle herself which you make very clear by firmly rejecting him with a smile plastered across your face

but...boy does not and will not let up

and you’re getting more and more frustrated and hyuck can tell esp when you keep throwing exasperated looks in his direction w the occasional eye roll

he would laugh but he’s too busy trying not to flip his shit

until boy fuckin just goes to grab your ass and you immediately move back, ready to reprimand him

but all thoughts are brushed aside when a loud crash sounds followed by heavy footsteps

hyucky had stood up so harshly that his chair had fallen over but he hadn’t even bothered to fix it bc he immediately stormed over to you, loosely wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side 

he is m a d like you thought he couldn’t fight before but now he looks like he could rip a guys head off and you lowkey find it hot but that’s not what’s important right now

the guy is like oh woops sorry bro didn’t know she was taken but hyuck is not having it going off about how you shouldn’t treat anyone like that period no matter if they’re in a relationship or not

and yes hyuck and his friends had been the same way a few months before but meeting you changed his way of thinking and his friends as well

bc the idiots had never had any female acquaintances before but now they have you and you’re like a sister to them except for hyuck obvi bc he’s in looove

anyway back to the matter at hand i swear i keep going on tangents soz

you have to calm hyuck down before he actually punches this guy in the nose and the guy throws some money on the table before booking it out of there bc he’s high key scared rn lol puddy

your boss comes out and is like...y’all good? and you’re like uhhh yea mind if i talk to him for a minute? n he’s like ya sure whatever

so you pull hyuck over to a back room and you’re like,,,bro,,,wtf you good now??

but hyuck is on a roll now and just flat out says ‘i’ve liked you for a while now so will you do me the honor of being my gf?’

you ??? for a second before snapping himself out of it and you’re like ??? hell yea boi tf???

so now y’all are dating woo!!!

he makes sure to come to the shop whenever you’re working

at first he even would miss classes but you were not gonna have that oh no education comes first kids >:(((

and he was like ugh ok fine but he always managed to get other dreamies to be there when he couldn’t just so he knows you’re ok :(((

you get really close with the other dreamies tho so now you’re all one happy family

even when hyuck isn’t at your shift he makes sure to pick you up afterwards

waiting outside, leaning against his beat up mustang …leather jacket on…waiting for you to come out…and when you walk up to him he grabs you by the waist…pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead…before opening the door for you…driving off to who knows where…but neither of you care as long as you’re together…

sometimes you go to the drive in and cuddle up in the backseat making out for the duration of the movie hehe

you climb onto his lap and sometimes you can hear the people in the next car wooping and hyuck just gives them the finger before bringing his hand back to settle on the back of your thigh

ahem anyways enough of that

other times you just,,, drive around,,, windows down,,, blasting music and laughing,,, just living your life as two college students should hyuck’s hand resting on your thigh shhhh

you always stop at the same dingy diner that’s hidden away on some side road

(shout out to steph for this next part love you bb uwu)

and hyuck always rummages through his pockets  for change to buy you a drink, even when you say he doesn’t have to and you know he doesn’t always have the most money he says he wants to

trips to the diner are always followed by sunset drives where you have to remind him to watch the road bc  he finds it so much fun to smiles t you and try to kiss you while driving and you scold him that he’s going to die one day, him saying it’s better to live hard, die young

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18) 

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[shouldihavewaited]

Vent incoming (tw: suicidal thoughts, self harm, non healthy eating habits, child abuse): really only one of my friends reads this so yay??

These last few weeks have been really hard for me. Usually im really open with stiff like this but i have been keeping some stuff in. Pretty much I’ve kinda surged into depression again. It takes me so much will power to wake up and get out of bed. My grades have been declining so much and so fast. I used to be an A student with 1 B+ every 2 quarters but currently i have all B and one C and one E. Which is really sending me even further down cause grades have always been a constant in my life. Good grades. Because they make me feel accomplished and tbh the only thing i value about myself.

Also my younger brother might have autism. The doctors say that but have yet to confirm. My parents treat it like it were the plague and it makes me want to riot. Tbh since i was in 4th grade i have wondered myself if i have autism or some form of adhd cause of stuff. And my parents saying that it’s inherently bad makes everything feel awful

Also im a closeted bisexual. Yay! My parents say they aren’t homophobic but :// my mom suspects. She started really observing me a couple months ago and then proceeded by talking to me and saying that “no one should make you feel pressured to change sexuality” aka “doNt LeT yOur Gay FriEnDs tURn yOu GaY!” which was lovely. Being bi i have been dealing with trying to accept myself cause sometimes i think maybe im making this up for attention but then i think back to the girls who stole my heart.

My parents believe in corporal punishment. I used to believe that everyone’s parents hit them and it was only till 5th grade that i learned that wasn’t true. I can’t tell you all the times i had nightmares of my father chasing me down with a belt ready to hit me. My father stopped hitting me around the time i was 8 cause at that point i had been hit so many times that i always followed the rules and i was always being nice and respectful and giving myself over to people. But the hits stopping didn’t keep those nightmares away or the ideology that “if i do smthg wrong i deserve pain” i started hurting myself since the 6th grade. In 5th grade was the first time i seriously considered suicide. There is more to that story but im not ready to expose that part completely.

I have always been skinny. Except when i was born. When i was born i weighed more than all my cousins. But after that i was underweight almost all my life which conciquently meant that all my family members called me names (banana, monkey, carrot, stick, skinny [a negative form of the word in spanish]) and since i was built on a mindset of pleasing people before myself. I ate. This started occurring the first time when i was around 6. But it got to it’s worst in 8th grade when my grandmother visited for the first time and i kept seeing more family calling me these names and poking me and scolding me abt my weight. I started eating so much to the point that i would start vomiting. By the end of that year i gained 15 pounds and crossed the line of underwight to a bit above average. The doctor got worried abt me and so did my mom. My mother is plus size. She pushes her self doubt onto me “being skinny is better than being fat” “fat is ugly” and so on. So after the doctor’s visit i started starving myself and doing a lot of exercise. I developed various stretch marks and scars on my knees and i felt very suicidal. I always wanted to please people bc of the mentality. I lost my childhood in someways.

This is far from my whole story but this is why these months have been so hard. When i think of all this i can only think of wanting to stop everything. Giving up. Thank you to all my friends bc idk where i would be w/o you guys

[alicedoessurveys]

VERY long survey

Where have you lived throughout your life? 

Birmingham UK

Do you find your job rewarding? 

N/A

What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? 

chocolate

To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels? 

I enjoy both, but bagels.

Do you paint your nails? 

yes. although they're not painted at the moment because ive been cleaning the house so much the past couple days and its stripped my varnish off

What’s the last website you signed up for? 

a dating thing

Do you check your email everyday? 

yes, I cant stand having the little red number above the mail app 

Have you created any pages on Facebook?

yes but I dont have them anymore

Is there a subject that you absolutely suck at? 

every subject, but especially maths and science 

What’s your favourite song by Dave Matthews Band? 

I dont know any 

Are there people you have absolutely nothing in common with, but still enjoy talking to? 

I dot particularly enjoy talking to anyone :’)

Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? 

yes, we wondered around through the middle of Birmingham at 4am 

Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? 

haha nope

Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover?

yes

Have you ever had a panic attack? 

many, I had to drop out of college because of them 

Are you deathly allergic to anything? 

nope

Have you ever had a mouse in your house? 

nope

Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex? 

myself 

Is anyone you know really religious? 

my family

Are your eyebrows naturally thick? 

yes

Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick? 

not physically sick, but definitely felt it. the worst experience Ive had with speaking was in college when I had to give a speech then teach a 10 minute class. my throat totally dried up and I literally couldnt speak. everyone just stared at me and I was trying so hard not to cry. longest 10 minutes of my life and as soon as it finished I legged it out the room and burst into tears. 

What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed? 

Mary Poppins Returns almost got me but the last film to actually make me cry was Coco. That shit had me SOBBING!

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? 

yes 

Has a laptop ever burned your legs? 

not really, I put a cushion on my lap normally

Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow?

no

Who was the last person to flip you off? 

probably rhys, as a joke

Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? 

my dad turns 50 next week

Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? 

I have done a few times but they annoy me

Are you good at following directions? 

no no no I get confused very easily

Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care? 

yes rhys 

From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall? 

if I reach behind me 

When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? 

occasionally, it depends where I am and what im eating 

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? 

manual 

Are your biceps at all noticeable? 

they used to be before they went into hiding under a layer of fat 

Have you ever seen a walrus? 

nope

When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule? 

no, I believe in the ‘what food is it’ and ‘how dirty is the floor’ rules

If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? 

yes. I was supposed to have gone on a camel ride in Tunisia ages ago but I was ill so we didn't get to go 

Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer?

they could be. the number of people getting cancer has gone up a lot since everyone has mobile phones 

When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too? 

depends who it is 

Do you tend to jump to conclusions? 

yes. Im an anxious person so im constantly overthinking and I also find people really hard to read and can get

Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays? 

yes my brain cant remember important things but when it comes to dates its like a sponge 

Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing? 

getting a job

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? 

ew no

How long does it take you to fall asleep? 

about 15 minutes depending on how tired I am 

Do you crack your neck often?

no that freaks me out 

Did you have a weird dream last night? 

not that I can remember, I have been having a lot of weird dreams this week because im ill

Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? 

everyone. especially when im at the theatre, im constantly watching other people and wishing I could act like they can or look like them or have their style 

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? 

both

In what way are you your own worst enemy? 

every way, I dont look after myself at all 

What activities make you lose track of time? 

sims

When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” 

not really 

Who do you tell your secrets to? 

these surveys 

Who do you live with? 

my parents and our foster kids 

When did/will you graduate? 

I didn't 

When are you moving next? 

I have no idea. probably never 

When is the last time you took a vitamin? 

this morning, im fighting a cold 

Why are you stressed? 

im not too bad right now tbh

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? 

nope

Where do you keep your birth certificate? 

no clue, my mom has it somewhere 

How many books are in your room?

a lot. I have quite a few on display and a whole bunch hidden away in my closet because theres no space for them anywhere else. I'll include some photos of the books in my room;

(the book on my bedside table in the second picture is actually a lamp that lights up when you open it)

Have you ever been IN a wedding? 

nope

What was the last thing you laughed out loud at?

probably my mom 

Do you have a nickname? Why? 

my family call my bongy or Ali bong, I dont know why.. (my name is Alice)

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? 

nope

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful/good-looking? Do people often tell you this? 

my mom tells me almost every day but Im like youre my mom of course you would say that 

Are you missing someone of the opposite sex atm? 

no

Want someone back in your life? 

meh

Are you currently sad about anything? 

actually nope

Are you wearing anything shiny? 

my pj top has glittery silver letters on

How important is a sense of humor in a significant other? 

very, I fall very easily for people who make me laugh

How many followers do you have on Twitter? 

198 (@alicethenerd if ya wanna follow 😉)

Do you sleep with the door open or closed? 

closed. I aint about letting those murderers and monsters just waltz straight in easy peasy 

Have you ever been to the beach? 

yes every summer since I was a kid 

Can you handle blood? 

nope

Do you pay your bills or do your parents?

I pay my own bills. no way my dad would be up for paying my bills, he already digs at me constantly about the fact that I live rent free even though I look after the foster kids and tidy the house more than he does

What’s your best friend’s middle name? 

Connor

Has any place hired you underage for a job? 

not officially

Have you ever barely passed a grade/year in school? 

yes

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? 

no

Have you ever tried to sell something overpriced to someone? 

no

Do you plan to become very wealthy some day? 

I hope to become wealthy enough to not worry about having enough money to put fuel in my car anymore and to be able to pay back my parents and grandad for everything they've done for me 

Do you remember your first time going to the movies? 

no, but my earliest cinema memory was going to watch Monsters Inc with my dad when it was first released 

Does eating breakfast make you sick? 

if I try to eat before a certain time yes

Are you dying to say something to someone right this minute?

not dying to nope

Book series you enjoyed reading recently? 

im reading eve of man atm which apparently is going to be a series

Do you enjoy lying in the grass during the summer, and just existing? 

I prefer lying on a blanket, I dont like the feel of grass and I dont like the bugs crawling around 

Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? 

yes, it doesn't have many stamps in because I lost the one that did have lots in and I havent been away much since getting the new one 

Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? 

nope

Do any of your close friends have children? 

no

What do you plan on having for dinner?

we already had dinner, we had chippy

Do you like Chinese food, or do you find it disgusting? 

I only really like one meal 

Have the police ever come knocking on your door looking for someone? 

actually yes, literally a few weeks ago

Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor? 

yes, my second cousin 

Have you ever played flashlight tag?

ive never heard of it

Could you call yourself a movie buff?

not really, im a huge movie fan but theres still a lot I need to see 

Have you ever had a piercing get infected?

never had a piercing 

Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to? 

dad does it

Are you a shorts wearing kind of person? 

nope nope nope, my legs are not suitable for public viewing :’)

Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy?

not really no. my nan and grandpa’s house is always neat but not obsessively neat. my grandads house is full of clutter because my nan was a hoarder 

About how much can you bench press? 

I dont know, I havent lifted in years 

Have you ever had your phone die on you in the middle of a conversation? 

yes

Is anybody in your family a carpenter? 

no

Are you avoiding someone? 

yes

Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”? 

I dont have a boyfriend but if I did I doubt id call him monkey

What’s your favorite primary color? 

yellow #hufflepuffpride

What were you for Halloween? 

nothing, I didn't dress up 

Do you have any clothes from Walmart? 

nope, we dont have Walmart here

When did you get a Facebook? 

about 10 years ago 

What color are your eyes? 

green/hazel

What motivates you? 

happiness

Can you walk in heels? 

nope

When was the last time someone asked you your age? 

the other day, my own mother forgot how old I was

Do you keep a journal? 

not really

Have you ever tried a weird flavor of vodka? 

never had vodka

Do you wear a ring on your finger? 

occasionally

What are you doing? 

watching ‘the greatest dancer’ and wondering if this survey is ever going to end 

What’s the last kind of soup you ate?

tomato 

Do you currently have a sunburn?

no. its winter

Who did you last text? 

my sister

Who’d you last call? About what? 

my mom, to ask her to come downstairs and let the dogs out because the baby was asleep on me and there was no way I was going to risk waking her up

Are you currently frustrated with someone? 

yes

Do you drink water or soda more often? 

water

Do you straighten your hair?

yes

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? 

today

What is your least favorite vegetable? 

all of them

Outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often. 

Rhys, Addison, Jacob

In school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in? 

IT

Was there a subject that you enjoyed, but weren’t too good at? 

I didn't really enjoy any subjects at school

When was the last time something didn’t go to plan? What happened? 

today. I had planned to deep clean the bathroom but I went super dizzy and had to give up half way through cleaning 

Do you have any children? If not, at what age do you think you’ll feel ready to be a parent? 

I dont but I am seriously considering adopting one of our foster babies atm. I want to adopt anyway, theres no way I could be pregnant 

When was the last time you bought a new item of clothing?Describe it. 

I honestly cant remember, im due a shopping trip

Was your last Facebook friend request from a male or female?

female

Do you have an item of clothing that makes you feel especially beautiful? Describe it. 

not really no

Think of the last person that betrayed you. If they said they were sorry, would you forgive them? 

I would cautiously forgive him but I would also make sure he knew that how he treated me was not okay and that he really upset me and this would be his last chance. but tbh I think hes done with me so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nastiest thing you’ve ever done? 

I dont know, I dont like being nasty

Have you ever been in a lighthouse? 

nope

What colour is your shower? 

I think its silver, ive ever actually noticed

Where do you order your pizza from?

dominos

When is the last time you had a serious talk with someone?

few days ago 

Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? 

yes, im a creature of habit

What colour is your bike?

silver & purple

What word can you not stand to hear people say? 

the c word, I cant even type it

What room of your house are you in? 

living room 

What is the temperature in your city right now? 

9°c

When did you last use a post-it-note?

last week in the script for the show im currently working on 

Would you ever want to own your own restaurant? 

yes

Do you have a fan in your bedroom? 

no I dont like them, they make too much noise 

Who is the last person that you took a picture with? 

one of our foster kids 

When is the last time you were stuck in a fairly long traffic jam?

the weekend before christmas 

Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? 

not many

When was your most recent trip to an aquarium? 

almost two years ago 

What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? 

I dont like salads

If it has one, do you ever use the notepad function in your phone? 

all the time, Im constantly writing lists or reminders to myself 

How good would you say your memory is?

long term good, short term bad

About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? 

a few times

Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? 

multiple, we have plugs in and sprays and those automatic ones that go off every 15 minutes 

What’s one thing you’re glad you’ve done recently?

done my laundry :’) im on my last pair of pants!

Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? 

no

Do you like to sit in the sun and tan when it’s hot out? 

not really, I dont like being too hot

Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? 

no

Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? 

yes, I love driving most of the time 

Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? 

no

Do you like french fries?

yes

Have you ever eaten so much you puked?

not since I was a kid 

Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? 

annoyingly yes

Would you rather go to Greece or France?

greece