#Teacher and Naughty Cat Funny Conversation

[twistednuns]

October 2023

A lazy Sunday in bed with Sex Education and cake until Sandra summoned me with a bossy voice note and I joined the others at Oktoberfest. At one point there were several unicorns flying through the sky (in balloon form). Then I went on a little adventure with Sandra, Robert and David. Selfies at the mirror cabinet, crashing into each other with bumping cars, throwing balls into mouths, gifting red roses to each other, attending the flea circus. Man, I love this gang. I told David that he's naturally gorgeous when he inquired about the fate of his full beard and in hindsight I realised... he actually IS really cute. Also way out of my league? Sigh.

Cycling to school for the first time. Any excuse to escape public transport. But I was surprised by how quick the journey felt! I'm planning on taking my bike more often as long as the weather permits.

My first proper Kundalini yoga class! I kept up beautifully and it wasn't even too weird. Afterwards I appeased the teachers anxious, barking dog by giving her a few good scratchies. Oh, and I met a silky smooth and shiny black cat on the way there!

A return request for a lamp I'd bought turned into... a free lamp. They just let me keep it.

Not sure if it's a good thing but at least it was amusing: waking up in such a crazy mood that I constantly made weird noises and commented on what I was doing in strange accents. That's why I'm never bored.

Garlic-filled green olives.

Swimming in the river. In October! I enjoyed the public holiday at Isar with Ben, Taffy and Lu.

A nightly walk through the neighborhood. Picking up a very affectionate cat who purred all the time. Following a toad. Hanging out in the playground.

Finding out about an Alan Rickman movie I really wanna see: Truly, Madly, Deeply.

I picked up a few vegetables from my neighbours' garage and there was a chonky red and white tomcat. We started "talking" and I was CHOSEN. He wrapped himself around my neck and started purring, basically making out with me. Lots of boops!

I had so much energy in Lucie's Yoga class. I sang all the mantras, kept moving, meditating, even performed a headstand! And I learned a trick with the Yoga belt: making a loop and putting it over me leg and head helps me stretch and twist my upper spine!

A weird half-lucid dream about my dying parents in a mansion. Almost like an epic family saga, one of these long novels with too many characters.

Learning from Sophie Passmann's book Pick Me Girls that I was never special. At all. It's funny - and sad - how many things we have in common.

A long video call with Fox. Unboxing the parcel I'd sent him, sharing book recommendations and going through our many lists together.

My date with Christian. Taking the BDSM test on the big leather sofa at Flex together (100% brat?). He noticed we were actually in the kissing corner and made like nobody was watching. We talked about Integral Psychology (I couldn't get Treya Wilber's quote about love at first touch out of my head), my shadow/mum's death and his depression. We went home together. How is this so intense. High on connection.

Madonna's Don't Tell Me playing while walking to the subway one evening, looking up to the stars, feeling gratitude of this fantastic new plane of existence I'm on. I never knew bliss like this. Tell me love isn't true / It's just something that we do / Tell me everything I'm not / But don't ever tell me to stop

The crisp chop chop sound the knife triggered when it dismembered a chunky carrot.

Scalp-brushing.

Hopping around on Hanna's trampoline machine in the physio practice.

Meeting Michael for the first time! I promptly took him to a burner get-together at Tatjana's place and we got along famously. I also enjoyed creating naughty poetry with Ben and hugging Robert for a few moments longer than necessary. I had a great conversation with the British guy whose name I never learned and loved Sandra's soft fur coat - couldn't stop touching it.

Another nightly playground visit.

An unexpected nude selfie with greetings from the Mediterranean from Galya and Nagu.

Milk foam. / Arriving in the kitchen just in time to prevent the milk from boiling over.

Sunday afternoon at Alte Pinakothek with Katharina. I love that woman and I desperately want her to become one of my best friends. We interpreted the art, paid attention to details, textures, colours. Looked at Tilda Swinton's favourite painting (her partner is a childhood friend of K's ex). Then we got some juice and eggplant bread sitting outside a cafe in Schwabing, playing with tiny spiders and chestnuts. Talking about health, sex and love, fashion, all the important things in life.

A brainstorming session with Fox. Getting the zoomies. Interpreting my OSHO stalker card.

Sandra sending me cute photos of me and David.

A deliciously ripe mango from the Canary Islands. A clementine giving me Christmas vibes. Cosy and nostalgic mint tea.

London Philharmonic Orchestra - Adagio for Strings Op.11a / immediate calming effect, it makes me feel like I'm walking through a dramatic movie.

Cycling to the cafeteria. Someone had a beautiful grey Sheba cat on their lap on the driver's seat of their car, letting it look out the window. Someone else was blasting Toto's Africa and I sang along. I managed to produce a loud whistling noise with my fingers!

Salted Pistachio nut butter cups.

Gifting myself to a beautiful yellow and purple bouquet of flowers (my favourite colour combination).

My new acid yellow blazer.

Staying super calm and positive during a painful medical procedure.

Taking the liberty to leave work instead of suffering through the whole day when I noticed I had tonsillitis again.

Coming up with a sexy mission for Lena and Max.

555 is associated with change, personal progression, and transformation. "It is a sign from the divine that you are undergoing positive changes in your life."

Cycling to Westpark to meet Vroni. The smell of mulch in the air (reminds me of home).

Feeling energetic, strong, powerful (still can't do a headstand without walking up a wall though).

Manu showed up at choir practice again! And Kathrin wants me to prepare a song to check out my voice for a possible solo.

Dusting the whole apartment. Filing paperwork. I love it when I happen to be in the mood for annoying tasks like that.

An inspired dinner & theatre date with Becky (visiting Raphael's opening of Animal Farm).

The very spontaneous decision to turn around and go home with Christian in the middle of the night. Touching him felt electric again and his apartment was incredibly gorgeous. I loved waking up surrounded by nature, meeting the chickens and a shy cat. Meditating in the sun. A debate about AI over breakfast. Playing with his son's toys, receiving one of his tiny toothbrushes (pink with stars and a suction cup). Chestnuts. Reading a picture book to him after giving him a massage.

Lush fields of sunflowers in the sunshine. Fall foliage. Butterflies and a vegetable garden outside C.'s house. More chickens outside the wholefood store on my street.

The first persimmons of the season. Biting into a jam-filled gingerbread heart.

A newfound obsession with Jupiter. Its symbol consists of 2+4, my two favourite numbers. Gustav Holst's The Planets suite.

Morning meditation (autumn vibes, windy with lots of crisp leaves flying through the air - cosy). Starting Roger Zelazny's Lord of Light over breakfast (I'm already hooked). Invitations, coincidences, good conversation. Finalising the stamps (following advice about "Doing the thing" I'd received in a newsletter the day before).

A new musical era? I've started listening to more classical music, being naturally drawn to it. I find it to be very uplifting, making life a little more cinematic .

I got dressed up for Avantgardista and felt comfortable and hot in a see-through top with black jeans, cowboy boots and my new Desigual leather jacket. I looked objectively cute! My hair cooperated and I came up with an asymmetrical flitter make-up idea: Multichrome flakes under the right eye, little gemstones under my left eyebrow to accentuate the highest point (stole the idea from Eric in Sex Education).

Spending Saturday evening surrounded by so many burners, old friends and new ones. Finalising my friendship with Robert at Chili's kitchen table. Starting to flirt with each other ("Just to clarify: I do wanna make out with you but I'm afraid of Sandra" - "Yeah, me too!" / he kept following me around a little bit and stayed close. I love how loyal and playful he is).

Tiny kisses from Sandra. Really great fashion and accessories, so many ideas for my own art projects and future Burn outfits. Christian showing up behind me (with Elena - I was a little jealous). Waving to Heike and Stefan from across the catwalk. Chili repeatedly offering to hold my chewing gum for me. Bringing out my dominant streak (the outfit must have done it). Sharing pinsa and a taxi.

Sending a selfie of Katharina and me to her ex (who we both know): "Hey, I stole your ex!" (He was totally fine with it) Damn, we looked extra cute. I loved our connection. What a unique and genuine person!

Playing Spin-the-bottle. Daring tasks. Connecting with Uli. Falling asleep on the big sofa, waking up surrounded by four lovely human beings in a cuddle puddle. Handing out double massages. Breakfast delivery with extra buttery croissants. My head in Christian's lap. Eye contact and kisses from above.

Luna is such a gorgeous, gentle and ethereal human being. She has this soothing voice, is so supportive and drove us all home on Sunday. And do I even need to mention her fantastic new green latex dress? I loved learning about her job in Game Design, bonding over our nerdiness.

Making plans for a mystery dinner together - Indian food, costumes and a murder case.

Christian coming over for dinner. Sitting in my kitchen in a bathrobe. Black candles lit. I love how comfortable he feels in my apartment. Watching scenes from controversial movies in bed, realising we both have quite unusual and eclectic taste. Being reminded of old fantasies and habits. Seeing his face light up when he saw a little video clip his son had sent him, telling him he missed him. His excitement when I told him about Björk's Cornucopia Tour. We made rough plans to go there together. Daring to tell him that I'm kinda into him.

Still, again, always, a little morning request to hear Run Away to Mars by Talk. 3, 2, 1 I miss you.

Now I've even started to find tiny glitter stars on my apartment floor. This one probably came from Christian's facial glitter? It's magic.

Remnants of summer: Yellow dahlias and a bush still full of ripe raspberries in the neighbours' garden. An older couple making out on the subway like teenagers - holding each other's faces, eyegazing.

An insight I had about gender-aware language (that it might actually emphasize inequalities and differences) in a discussion with Raphael.

An easy-breezy lyrics round at Pub Quiz. Slapping Dennis (with his consent). Being reminded of I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith.

I've been listening to so much more music lately: Björk - Venus as a Boy / Billie Bird - La Nuit / Villagers - Courage / Danit - Cuatro Vientos

Beautiful spheric wall art on my daily bike route. A woodpecker crossing my path in flight. The effect I seem to have on women these days. Peculiar.

Forest & Shore Thrive Hair Oil.

Subtle flirting with my colleagues.

A substitute lesson with the 9th-graders. We practiced some Speeddating! I had so much fun with the older kids. I'm a little sad about only teaching years 5+6 at the moment.

My first Joy of Connection event - ecstatic dance turns cuddle puddle. I loved Stefan's music and touches and was surprised and happy that Katharina and David showed up. Lovely vibes, massages, first attempts at contact improv. An Indian girl developed a crush on me.

A cute date with Atabak. He brought me dark sea salt chocolate! I love talking about language, culture and art with him. He's super gentle but intense and calls me cute one.

Meeting Benni and Steffy for dinner at Giorgia. What a great evening. Benni got me to different spheres again and I loved the stories they shared. We took selfies in the mirrored toilet together and made plans to meet again soon!

A very chill and calming breathwork session at Yoga Garden.

Following an impulse to drive to Augsburg for the Kinky Amore Party. Meeting lovely burners. Grounding C. through a trip. Letting him cut my duct tape outfit off me. Walking through the empty streets together in the early morning. Driving back to Munich during sunrise. Holding hands on the gear stick. Kinky bathroom session. Closing the blinds, spending the rest of Saturday in darkness. Talking for hours. Massages. Getting up close to midnight to eat potatoes and cauliflower. Falling asleep again. Cataloguing all my old maps and charts in the morning. My pillow smelled of him.

A long walk through the forest on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I immediately felt calmer upon entering the woods. The smell was enticing. I found hazelnuts, took a lot of gorgeous photos. Then I put on the inline skates I had with me in my backpack and skated back to my bike. I was honestly surprised that it went quite well!

Meeting Max and Lena. Interesting conversation and playtime. She was super cute, I loved touching her.

Biting into a crisp, buttery croissant.

My connection with Fox. Mutual understanding, inspiration, playfulness.

Walking to school in the morning. I Do the Rock on my headphones. A sudden whiff of sugar and cinnamon, reminding me of my grandma and, weirdly, the bakery at Niederbayernschau.

The life is juicy feeling. Delicious moments and experiences. Feeling like I've leveled up, vibrating on a higher frequency. Manifesting what's to come. Love, safety, adventure, creativity, stepping into my power.

Someone in my yoga class told me how fascinating and beautiful she found my hip rotation. She said she wanted to stop her own Asana and marvel at my flexibility.

The moment I realized I wasn't wearing any make-up (and didn't have to wash my face).

Finally finishing the Playspace Bingo.

Fancy shopping at Muji. I got crisps with old French cheese and a huge sandalwood candle.

Meeting David at work. I love him so much.

Visiting Robert's new apartment. Snacks on the balcony. Seeing Sandra together. Kebabs on a park bench. Train and bus and car ride. He's super touchy and cuddly!

The madness that was Hamburn. Chaotic, stressful, vibrant, pulsating. Wow. Here are a few film stills that live in my head rent free: the long drives with my dudes (Frank, Robert and Uli but on the way back Celia came with us) - Robert and I were such a good team; driving, cuddling, massaging and supporting each other, great conversation and DJ-ing / a moment with Uli on the bar floor, almost kissing after dinner, and an honest conversation about his cancer journey; giving him an exciting challenge for his free bingo space, witnessing how much he was into it; and sharing his apple lollipop / talking to Idan (who still intimidates and confuses me) and Alma (I'm not sure how that immediate level of conversational depth came to be but I went along with it) / dancing with Robert to Oops I Did it Again and seeing him match my energy on the actual dancefloor; going absolutely bananas (Fusili!) / roleplaying our way through the admission procedure: drawing numbers, going along with the tasks and challenges, reading a fantastic story about wolverines, filling out a crazy form and putting Robert on a leash - conveniently, I had a washing line in my bag / lying on the lower bunk bed in the Play-Playroom with Robert, Koali and Ole; reading picture books to each other; toys and candy, vibrating walls / witnessing a very strange scene when the hypnosis duo came in with one of their many victims and Undine said that none of that had ever happened... / walking through the forest, alone, in the middle of the night / taking turns drawing a scene with Robert in the Expresso Tipi, getting buffed / a great conversation about self development with Celia and Josef (who are both coaches) in the welfare room; the two woman doctors who came in just to hang out with me, eat snacks and listen to Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield / exchanging long, sensual massages on an actual massage bench with R. / taking a Lindy Hop class, being lead, slowly getting the hang of it (muscle memory), fighting over Robert and then with him, landing on his face (contact improv) / early morning sauna and quick swims in the ice cold lake / receiving hard slap shots from Jo in drag / recording "podcast" episodes about how much we missed Sandra - receiving her hilarious replies / getting dressed up for the 80s party, taking cute photos / going all kitty on Nas, propositioning him to play because he doesn't speak my native language (bingo task) / seeing Marta dance with a crystal ball player - their interaction was magnetic, she kept following the ball with her gaze and movements / walking out of a door, a flock of people at the bottom of the stairs; playing queen, waving to my people - everybody immediately played along //

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #456

“i don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger, & that feels so rough”

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? I know at LEAST over an hour. I was in agony. What type of TV shows are your favourite? Animal docs. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Bitch I still am lmao. Do you know anyone who has died in battle? No. When was the last time you went on an adventure? Bro, I could NOT tell you. I haven't had one of those in what feels like eons. What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Are you good at rapping? Never tried, but I'm sure I'd be awful. I stutter too much. Name one world issue that upsets you. Just ONE????????? Well, I can name homelessness as very high on the list. How do you feel about tanning? I hate it. I can't stand the heat, so why would I deliberately go bake in it? Have you ever given a public speech? Yeah, in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade when I was innnn... one of those grades, idr which. It was for my D.A.R.E. essay. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? NOOOOOOOOOOO I'm way too awkward. Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Bro who tf kisses with their eyes open, that shit is creepy. Do you believe you can change someone? No. One can only change themselves. How did you react when your first pet died? I have no memory of our first pet. Have you ever drawn anime? No. Can you use a pogo stick? When I was a kid, I became a MASTER. I got one for I want to say Christmas and I was obsessed. When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like? Idk, first he needs to get on Facebook and see I messaged him alsdkfjalkdj. He like never gets on there. Do you like bathing/showering? No. One, it's a chore, and two, it's actually painful for me, standing up so long and propping my legs up and stuff like that to clean myself properly. Have you ever considered entering a race? HEEEEEEEEEEELL no. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Probably Gaga, idk. Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I actually kinda want a TV now? What do you take the most pictures of? Flowers. What are you always in the mood for? Lately, Krispy Kreme donuts, lol. I haven't had one in a very long time, but goddamn does a hot glazed donut sound BANGIN' right now and has for days. What is something that you never turn down? Hm... how am I blanking??? What is something that you always turn down when offered? Certain foods or drinks, like tea. Name something sexy about your significant other. I don't have one'a those. What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Um, idk. As interests work, I may move away from any hobby eventually. If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance. If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? Violin. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? A mortician. That job doesn't even seem all that bad to me? I think it'd be kinda chill somehow???? I could NEVER be a surgeon. I'd be terrified of fucking something up. Have you ever been on a subway? No. Are you in love? No. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? *eyes emoji* Do you want to get married when you’re older? Yes. What was the last band shirt you wore? PROBABLY my Metallica shirt? But I'm unsure, ultimately. You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? Ugh, I've been wanting a nice chocolate milkshake for a while. Have you ever given someone flowers? For Mother's Day one year, I collected some wildflowers to put in a jar for Mom. I've also given Jason roses before. I really wanted to give Sara some when I surprised her for her birthday, but I didn't want to ask her parents to drive me somewhere where I could buy her some, ha ha. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? None. My days are all the same. Do you have any concerts coming up? No, but UGH, I was so hyped a few days ago because I saw Motionless In White was going on tour next year, but of course they're going to the big city on the OTHER end of the state versus the capital, which I'm way closer to. -_- Bands ALWAYS choose Charlotte on the super rare occasion they come to NC... Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ugh, I hate it. What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos, maybe? Between Mountain Dew and those... I am such a fucking gamer stereotype lmfao. Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? I think I had to before in school? Idr. Do you like pineapple? Love it. Does your house have a dishwasher? Yes. A dishwasher is one thing I MUST have in my own future house. I cannot stand touching dirty dishes. Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? Oh, absolutely. Sunflower tattoos are especially popular around here. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and uhhh Spanish? Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. I don't mind them. I've never understood the hate, honestly? I think he's capable of being funny. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Only by myself when I was a kid losing my baby teeth. Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? Nooooo. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? Fuck no, I hate it. What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? I don't like those. Do you get cold easily? No, but I get hot extremely easily. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? I don't think so, no. Do you admire nature? I positively adore nature. If only we treated it better... Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Done sexual things in places I probably shouldn't have, oops. Name two of your favorite things as a child. Pokemon and Webkinz. Do you own a Pillow Pet? No. They're cute, though. My niece has one. Do you tend to solve problems with violence? Absolutely not. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you know a hoarder? Yes. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I just leave 'em be, honestly. Do you have any interesting scar stories? Not really. Do you hate the texture of meatballs? No, I love me some meatballs. Do you get migraines? Very, very rarely. They fucking suck. Do you like guns? NOOOOOOO guns terrify me alsd;kjfal;sdjfk Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') How much time do you spend taking surveys? A whole lot. It's just that I'm like... always bored and the randomness of surveys can add interesting little flares to the day, I guess. Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, for sure. Would you like to work at a candy shop? No. I don't want to work directly with people. Do you have feelings for someone? It's funny; now that I've settled the extreme indecision, I've come to realize that they're very strong feelings. How you go from being indecisive to really, really liking somebody, hell if I know. Which one of your guy friends is the best looking? Uhhh Girt is like my only real guy friend, so I guess it's by default him, ha ha. I'm not particularly attracted to him, but he's not ugly by any means. Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf? I'm so sorry. Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? Either Ozzy or Metallica. Most likely Ozzy, though. Which song describes your mood at the moment? Hm. I dunno. Which movie(s) do you quote the most? None, really. Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date? None; we don't share irl friends, being many states apart, and not even that many online ones. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? I don't have my own car. Which one of your friends will be the most successful? I'm not psychic. What store did you last shop at? Mom and I picked up a Wal-Mart order the other day. Do you think telepathy is real? Absolutely not. When did you last draw something for fun? A few days ago, I started a drawing of Maieykio for Sara. Who makes the most in your entire family? I have no idea. Do you like writing essays? I don't mind, if the topic interests me. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? Nah. Well, I think you can take it to an visual extreme, but that's just my opinion. Do what makes you comfortable in your own body. Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It's picked up. When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands? The inside of my elbow. Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? It usually happened at night. Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? Haven't taken it yet. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? OH MY GOD NEITHER Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: No one, really? Well, unless you count my change of feelings for Girt, but it's just that: a type of change. I've loved him platonically since high school, and it's like, I feel the same for him, just in a romantic way now? Does your car have a sunroof? No. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? My mom. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope, not how I roll. Who’s the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Unless you count my cat. Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook? Former teachers, yes. I feel kinda bad for 'em now... They're all the sweetest, God-fearing people, and then there's my outspoken (online) and liberal ass sharing shit that's gotta disappoint them now lmaoooo.

[cherriebomb]

✩ for sienna and jt

Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

jt. he’s a guy, for crying out loud. he’s also always been in situations where being loud is how you win fights, conversations, anything. so he’d de.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

neither of them. they’re both stubborn and they both LEAVE.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

see above, where i state that they’re both stubborn pieces of shit.

Who trashes the house?

i wouldn’t say trashes, but jt would probably punch a wall or break a glass, if he were angry enough. and then sienna would probably mock him, which would only piss him off more and that’s when he’d storm out.

Do either of them get physical?

sienna probably punches him teasingly and he gently bops her on the head because she’s tiny, but in a fight definitely not.

How often do they argue/disagree?

they probably bicker a lot. they’re both stubborn, and sienna strikes me as the type to find something to complain about with everything, and jt would be so sick of her shit that he’d purposely pick a fight to get her off his case.

Who is the first to apologise?

do either of them actually know the words i’m sorry?

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

nope. that’s not in jt’s future, no matter how cute it would be to drop a child on him. if they did have kids, it would probably be an accident and sienna would threaten to get her tubes tied, or something.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

one, and it would be an accident for sure.

Who is the favorite parent? Who is the authoritative parent?

sienna would probably be the favorite parent, but i don’t really see jt being too authoritative, so they probably tie as the favorite with rankings changing based on how spoiled the kid is that day.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

jt. he’d pretend they had a doctor’s appointment and he’d take them to like. the playground at mcdonald’s and the movies or some shit.

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

they both do, while promising the other that they would never.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

probably jt, and that’s just because he usually works nights so he’s around for extracurriculars during the day. he’d probably have to nudge sienna into going because she’d complain that sports are boring, or something like that.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

both, and only because they missed the first one and the teacher told their kid that their parents better be at the next one, or else.

Who changes the diapers?

jt does, because he’d rather that then the next one!

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

sienna. jt refuses unless she’s like, dying or sick.

Who spends the most time with the children?

they probably try to spend an equal amount.

Who packs their lunch boxes?

if they get a packed lunch, it’s because of sienna. jt will just give them money for hot lunch or the vending machine.

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

god probably jt because sienna would pretend to be asleep.

Who cleans up after the kids?

when they’re little, jt would help. once they’re like, 8, jt refuses to help but watches like a supervisor because the kid thinks it’s funny.

Who worries the most?

they probably both worry, but silently.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

jt, because every third word is usually a swear. this kid’s parents are sailors.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? Who is the little spoon?

this isn’t canon because they’ve never cuddled, but sienna would definitely be the little spoon just because she’s like, three feet tall. jt is pretty indifferent to cuddling, but he would if sienna wanted to. lucky for him, it’s not an issue if she doesn’t want to cuddle.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

jt will try to make sienna blush, regardless of the situation. sienna would probably do it as a joke and then get an eyebrow waggle from jt.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

sienna, if she’s feeling clingy. otherwise, i feel like they’d be pretty good at keeping it under wraps unless actively trying to mess with the other. though jt would probably rest a hand on her thigh under a table.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

however long it takes before sienna launches herself to the other end of the couch.

Who gives the most kisses?

jt, and sienna definitely smacks him when he tries to kiss her for the first time. so after that, he continues to try and kiss her in the dumbest of ways, because it makes her laugh.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

eating takeout and listening to music in sienna’s apartment.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

the couch. it allows for sienna to take her space when she needs it, and jt can lounge.

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?

probably both of them.

How often do they get time to themselves?

whenever they want it, baby!

Sleeping:

Who snores? If both do, who snores the loudest?

unfortunately, jt snores       ————       though usually pretty quietly. i don’t know about sienna, though.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

if they live together, i think they’d share. it’d have to be a king though.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

if sienna wants to cuddle, they cuddle. if not, they lay apart and usually end up cuddling at some point during the night.

Who talks in their sleep?

if anyone, it’s sienna.

What do they wear to bed?

jt wears boxers, nothing else. sienna probably wears t - shirts and shorts or those cute pj pants you get from marshalls.

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

jt isn’t. he’s usually out like a light within twenty minutes of his head hitting the pillow. according to you, sienna has trouble sleeping. they’re the opposite of krava.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

jt keeps a bottle of melatonin lying around, and sienna has a bottle on her side of the bed.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

see above : sienna is a cat, so really it’s dependent on her. they’re probably not tangled, though, since she’s about half his size.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

technically jt, but he’ll sleep with his hair in a bun to minimize the frizz. i’m guessing sienna wakes up with minor bed hair.

Who wakes up first?

jt usually sleeps until noon, so ...

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

jt would on her birthday. it’d be a little messy because he’d have to pull himself out of bed and he’d probably cook half - asleep.

What is their favourite sleeping position?

jt likes sienna’s head on his chest. like, the body - pillow position, except he’s the body pillow.

Who hogs the sheets?

they fight over them. usually jt will overheat in the middle of the night, so they’ll end up on sienna anyways.

Do they set an alarm each night?

jt doesn’t know where to set an alarm on his phone.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

yes, and sometimes jt will wake up in the middle of the night and watch old tv reruns to fall back asleep.

Who has nightmares?

jt has some nightmares, but nothing major anymore. if sienna does, he doesn’t know about it       ————      at least not yet. :zany:

Who has ridiculous dreams?

jt, specifically when he falls asleep stoned or drunk.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

jt, because he’s like 6′1" and muscly.

Who makes the bed?

if anyone makes the bed it’s sienna. jt would rather just leave it unmade, since it’s a bed.

What time is bed time?

they are in their thirties they set their own bed time.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

jt will brush his teeth and then make sienna braid his hair if she’s not cranky.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

jt is a hellion when he wakes up, particularly if you wake him up early when he worked late. he needs about two cups of coffee before he functions normally.

Work:

Who is the busiest?

jt, because he’s in a gang and also a bartender

Who rakes in the highest income?

probably jt because i really don’t see sienna making tons off of the attic.

Are any of your muses unemployed?

nope! real adults, baby.

Who takes the most sick days?

probably sienna, since she’s her own boss. ed would kill jt if he took a bullshit sick day.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

they both are. sienna, because who’s gonna fire her? and jt, because he’s hungover 80% of the time, and the other 20% is because he didn’t realize what time it was.

Who sucks up to their boss?

jt. sienna doesn’t have to, and ed’s a little scary.

What are their jobs?

jt is a bartender and also a gang member / bodyguard. sienna runs the attic thrift store, unless that’s changed.

Who stresses the most?

jt doesn’t stress over much, so probably sienna.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

jt likes his job. he likes the bar - tending, and the gang stuff is exciting. according to you, sienna likes her job but she’s dissatisfied       ————      will she ever be satisfied?

Are your muses financially stable?

HAH. they’re stable enough to exist, i guess.

Home:

Who does the washing?

jt will do the laundry on fridays. if it needs to be done before then, that’s on sienna.

Who takes out the trash?

jt does because he’s a good boy.

Who does the ironing?

jt doesn’t know how to use an iron <3.

Who does the cooking?

they take turns. jt can’t cook a lot, but he knows how to use the internet so he can search recipes, and he thinks it’s fun experimenting. sienna probably can make like three dishes, so they usually end up ordering takeout anyways.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

based on the above, i’d say equal opportunity.

Who is messier?

jt. he forgets things half way through doing them, and he’s probably not home very often.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

jt, because he doesn’t realize that’s impolite. sienna probably reads him the riot act after he forgets too many times.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

jt. he’ll chuck his clothes in a pile on the floor and wear the same jeans for three days in a row.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

jt. he also forgets to put the toilet seat down sometimes.

Who is the prankster around the house?

jt. he’s always trying to prank sienna, be it that semi - permanent hair dye in her shampoo or placing plastic spiders in her shoes.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

jt, and he only remembers because he left them in the pocket of the jeans he’s wearing.

Who mows the lawn?

jt, because he bought one of those ride - able ones and he likes to show off.

Who answers the telephone?

if it’s anyone, it’s sienna. jt will just hang up.

Who does the vacuuming?

jt, and that’s only because he promised sienna he’d pick some chores and vacuuming is kind of easy.

Who does the groceries?

they both go, and then jt spends 30 minutes in the condiment aisle deciding which mustard to buy.

Who takes the longest to shower?

sienna. it takes jt about 10 minutes, 15 if he has to wash his hair.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

sienna. like i said, 15 mins max. maybe twenty in total, if he has to clean up the beard after showering.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

i don’t know if i’d say it’s a problem. they’re both middle class, and i assume they’re able to make ends meet without having to take out loans to buy groceries or skipping meals.

How many cars do they own?

one, and it’s jt’s. two, if you count his bike, but i don’t.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

rent.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

i’d say somewhere in between.

Do they live in the city or in the country?

suburbs / small city - large town.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

sienna will never be satisfied, and jt really just exists. he doesn’t hate their surroundings, but he’s not sobbing with happiness every time he looks out his window.

What’s their song?

for us, it’s strangers by sigrid. for jt, it’s i got sunshine by the temptations.

What do they do when they’re away from each other

i don’t know about sienna, but jt just works or works on the furniture he’s building, because that’s a thing he wants to do in the future.

Where did they first meet?

ah, in the attic. how romantic.

How did they first meet?

sienna PLANTED one on him to convince sawyer she had a boyfriend and was not a spinster.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

depends on what they’re buying, i bet. if it’s alcohol or stuff from home depot, it’s jt. otherwise, probably sienna.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

jt would do it as a joke. and by flashing his assets, he really means hanging out without a shirt on.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

they find it a riot when it’s each other.

Any mental issues?

i know i know sienna’s deal, but i forget. :shrug: for jt, it’s diagnosed bipolar disorder and ptsd. can’t wait for the nightmares to come back.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

if anyone, sienna.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

jt, though he hates actually killing them and tries to put them outside if he can.

Their favourite place?

either the unnamed bar from our thread, or sienna’s apartment.

Who pays the bills?

they each pay their own bills, like real adults. but sometimes jt forgets and has to be reminded.

Do they have any fears for their future?

jt doesn’t any more. he used to, when he was a teen going in and out of jail, but not now. i’m not sure about sienna though.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

jt because he likes to spoil sienna, even if he’d A. never admit it and B. fancy dinners aren’t even her thing, are they?

Who uses up all of the hot water?

sienna would, if anyone.

Who’s the tallest?

jt. he is a mountain man and towers over her. he throws her over his shoulder when he’s being too stubborn and he doesn’t want to deal with it.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

they both probably would, once they’re at that point.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

jt sleeps in his boxers, so jt definitely would. sienna probably does too.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

sienna, because she’s obnoxious. jt will sing along, but he never knows the words.

What do they tease each other about?

oh, everything. once jt’s over this whole felicia issue, sienna’ll probably tease him for that. he’ll tease her for being a spinster and a future cat lady, she mocks his ponytail       ————       peak romance, in my opinion.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

sienna, and it’s just because jt’s wardrobe is boring.

Do they have mutual friends?

sawyer <3. jk jt and sawyer aren’t buds. but probably not, at least until they actually were together for real.

Who crushed first?

jt, because that’s apparently the trend with my characters.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

unfortunately jt is a little bit of an alcoholic. AGAIN i don’t know about sienna.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

jt, and it’s because he got off work at 2 and then they ( he and whoever else was working ) drank for another hour before leaving to go home.

Who swears the most?

they both swear like sailors, but i feel like every third word for jt is a swear or something of the like.

[bleach-your-panties]

My bad, for Armin Arlert letters are W, X, and Y. For Shoto Todoroki the letters are C, G, and L. 👻😈

Armin Arlert: W - Werewolf: Yellow eyes, fangs as long as your arm, and fur all over. Which side are they on and why? You and Armin were sitting in your living room doing your homework when he suddenly stopped, put down his pencil, and looked over at you. Feeling his gaze, you turned to meet pensive cerulean hues. Raising an eyebrow in concern, you asked, "Everything alright, Armin?" "Werewolves are superior for multiple reasons. Their strength and abilities are unmatched because they literally gain all of the abilities of a wolf. The gray wolf is one of nature's apex predators and-" You stopped him by putting a hand on his arm, a warm smile covering your face. "Okay, I get it; you win, werewolves are superior, my little human dictionary." You leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I, um. Sorry about that." His cheeks took on a rosy appearance. You giggled.

X - X-Ray: What's Halloween without a little naughty fun? It's a day where you can be anything or anyone that you want to be. So, what's under that costume? ;) "That was the most lit Halloween party that I've ever been to." You laughed as Armin closed the door to your house behind himself. "It was pretty fun. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, then kissed your cheek. Giggling, you turned around and wrapped your arms around Armin's neck. "You were a star out on the dance floor." His cheeks turned a little pink and he let out a small laugh. "All thanks to you. You're a great teacher." It was your turn to blush now. You put down little broom that came with your witch costume down on the coffee table. "Um, my parents will be out until morning. Some Halloween gala at their job or something. Do you want to to...spend the night?" You asked cautiously, not knowing how the blond boy would respond. "Sure, I'd love to. I'll take the guest room. The library your parents have installed in there is-" You cut him off by grabbing him by the ruffled white shirt of his pirate costume and planting a deep, suggestive kiss on his lips. Immediately, he knew what your plans for the night included. Armin picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. "Your room?" You shook your head. "I was thinking of something...more...spontaneous.” Your black and purple corset hit the hallway closet floor after Armin nimbly undid its multiple laces. Next, your black tutu hit the ground, followed by your purple lace panties. " Tell me why we're in the closet again, (y/n)-chan?" He asked between nibbling on your neck. "I felt like we needed to up our spontaneity." You reached into his skull-and-crossbones-covered boxers and massaged him, receiving a moan in return. "Right. Spontaneity." Y - Y. O. L. O - It's Halloween night, and you only live once. So release your inhibitions and do something wild! They won't judge, they promise. In fact, they'll probably be right there along for the ride. "I don't think this is a good idea, (y/n)-chan..." Armin said hesitantly as he followed after you, carrying an entire 6-pack of double-rolled toilet paper with him. "You're right, Armin. It's not a good idea, it's a great idea." You laughed maniacally as the two of you approached the first victim's house. Yes, you had concocted the diabolic plan to TP some of the houses in your neighborhood and you were dragging innocent, wide-eyed Armin along with you. "The first house on our list is Mrs. O'Reilly. She's always hated me and her stupid cats are always bothering Peanut." Peanut is your loving, adorable Chow Chow. He's very playful, loving, and gets along with most other animals. Except for those demon cats from hell. "So this is a revenge run?" Armin asked, stopping in front of the house with you. It was currently 7:00 pm in the evening, and he'd much rather be at home reading or something else productive since it was a school night. "Sure, whatever you want to call it. Now, we have to be quick so nobody sees us and so the old bag doesn't wake up." You took two rolls of the toilet paper and threw each one at the roof where they caught on the storm gutters and rolled down, giving the front porch a nice ghost, pumpkin, and bat-printed banner. "Haha, yes! Pass me some more toilet paper, Armin!" The hesitant blond looked around, trying to make sure that no one was watching him participate in criminal activity. As soon as you'd decorated the house with the other four rolls of toilet paper, a light in the house flicked on. "Oh shit! Run, Armin!" You dropped the empty toilet paper rolls and grabbed his hand, pulling him down the street towards your house. Nothing else could be heard except for the thumping of your Converse-covered feet down the pavement and your laughter. Oh, and Mrs. O'Reilly's threats of calling the police. Shoto Todoroki: C - Costume: What costume would they pick to wear? Are you guys going for a couples' theme? *Pics included* "Okay, so you're definitely going with this one, right?" You asked Shoto, referring to the costume you currently were holding up for him to look at. Shoto looked at you with a deadpan expression. "No." "Oh come on! This one is perfect for you!" He shook his head. "No, it's perfect for me to look like an idiot in and for you to laugh at me in." You thought about it. "True. Very true. Okay, so what about this one then?" Shoto groaned. "(y/n)..." Almost doubling over in laughter, you waved your hand in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll be serious. Look, I have an idea." Halloween Night Your costumes:

Mina approached the two of you outside of your house as you and Shoto were preparing to head to Momo's house for a huge Halloween shindig. "Oh my God, I LOVE you guys' costumes. That's really creative!" She squealed. You beamed. "Thanks, they were my idea. Want some gum?" G - Graveyard: So you decide to spend the night in a graveyard because you think it'd be fun. Right.. How did your night turn out? Shoto usually had sense enough to not follow along with most of your silly ideas and antics, but for some reason he'd decided to go along with your idea to spend the night sleeping in the city cemetery. Also, Bakugo calling him a pussy and betting half the class $20 that he wouldn't do it was also a motivator. Nighttime: You'd come prepared with a tent, sleeping bags, snacks, your laptop and a portable charger so you guys could make the most of your little escapade. "Let's watch a scary movie!" You suggested, popping open a bag of nacho cheese Doritos while Shoto opened a bottle of juice and took a sip. "Fine, but don't even think about crawling into my sleeping bag when you get scared, (y/n)." A ghost of a smile covered his face briefly. "Psh, me, scared? You've got to be joking-" A rustling sound outside your tent made you pause. "D-did you hear that, Shoto?" "Hmm, hear what? Pass the chips, please." "T-there's something out there...what if it's a ghost or a...zombie..." You whispered the last part. "If it is, tell them that it was your idea to come and disturb them." He said, taking the bag of chips from you. Rolling your eyes, you sat down on top of your sleeping bag. "That's not funny Shoto, I-AHH!" You jumped and screamed when you saw two big shadows outside of your tent. "ZOMBIES!" You screamed, unzipping the tent as fast as you could and preparing to run for your life. "Oh my God! I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna-" You stopped when you heard laughter behind you. Shoto had slumped to the tent floor on his back, an elbow covering his eyes as he struggled to breathe. "Good way to wimp out, (l/n)." Bakugo cackled, along with Eijiro, who were crawling into the tent. "You guys are assholes!" You steamed as they continued laughing at you. L - Lantern: Take a walk on a lantern-lit path late at night or maybe make homemade ones with a pumpkin and candle. However you decide to do it, do it together. Shoto sat with you at your kitchen table, the two of you carving the insides out of your pumpkins so you could make lanterns with them. "I've never seen anyone do this before." He commented, dumping some more pumpkin guts into the silver pan you two were using. "Yea, I know right. I saw this on Pinterest." You finished up with yours, so you went to the sink to wash your hands. Shoto finished soon after you. You had carved a heart with the two of your names in it on the front of yours and he had carved a flaming heart with your hero name inside of it on the front of his. You snuck a peak at his pumpkin, smirking. "So does that mean that I set your heart on fire?" Returning the smirk, he shrugged. "Something like that." That made you blush and giggle. "I'm going to go grab the candles from my room." He nodded as you headed for the stairs. When you returned, you placed a candle in each of your pumpkins. "Okay, I need the lighter." Rummaging around in the kitchen junk drawer, you came across some mini light bulbs, a bottle opener, and some stamps, but no lighter. "Dammit.." You mumbled to yourself, slamming the drawer shut. "What's wrong?" Shoto asked, noticing the distressed look on your face. "I don't know where the lighter is..." You looked at him, getting an idea. "No, (y/n). The dollar store is right around the corner, we could-" "But why go all the way to the dollar store when you're right here, Toki-kun~" "I thought I told you not to call me that..." His cheeks tinted the least little bit of red. "Pleaseeeeeeee..." Later: "Our lanterns look really nice, don't you think, Toki-kun?" "Mhm..." The two of you sat outside on the porch swing in your charred school uniforms while the firefighters put out the fire in your kitchen. "Yea, my parents do not need to know about this." Shoto nodded, agreeing.

[synthient]

Could you elaborate on what you mean about Death T re stanning and fairness? It sounds interesting and I'd love to hear about it if you don't mind sharing.

ajhfakj hoo boy. Okay.

So some time around the summer before last (judging by the point where the first baffled and frustrated readmores start showing up on this blog), I read Death-T. It made me feel…some kind of way. An…unpleasant kind of way.

Here’s the thing about me: I can’t just let myself have an emotional reaction to a piece of fiction. I have to, first, pick apart my own emotions to figure out why I had that reaction, and second, pick apart the story to figure out how it works and how it made me feel that way.

On the Feelings Front, I’ve isolated two main causes:

1. I have a brain that Needs Things To Be Fair. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle unfairness in a piece of fiction. Unfairness creates conflict, and conflict is what makes for good storytelling. But it does mean that I need the story to be aware of its own unfairness. I need the unfairness to be the point. Otherwise I start vibrating at high speeds and shaking my fist at clouds.

2. I’m a Kaiba stan. I accidentally got emotionally attached to the Funny Card Game Boy from the Funny Card Game Show. 

There’s the feelings part. That leaves the “picking apart the story” side of the equation. And I’ve been trying to do that in nice punchy little one-or-two-paragraph text posts for the past year or so, but I don’t think I’ve ever really done the argument justice that way. So I guess that leaves only one option: writing a giant wordvomit essay on Yugioh (1996-2004).

Why This Is A Death-T Hateblog: The Masterpost

An important note: I like being able to back up my thoughts with Evidence From The Text, but I’m specifically working off the (Viz translated) manga. You can read Cards with Teeth here, Capumon here, and Death-T starting here if you want to check any of my facts or draw your own conclusions. Keep in mind that the Toei anime made pretty huge changes to the s0 Kaiba storyline, and the DM anime skipped most of it entirely–if you’re more familiar with those continuities, there’re some major differences in the manga.

(Also this thing probably reads better on desktop. I think the formatting got screwed up on mobile)

How We Got Here

Before we can actually dig into Death-T, we need to start at the very beginning (♫a very good place to start♫). So that means taking a look at “The Cards with Teeth (Part 1)” and “The Cards with Teeth (Part 2).”

For its first 8 chapters, the Yugioh manga chugs blissfully (if repetitively) along with an episodic, conflict-of-the-week formula. No overarching plot. Next to no sense of continuity. No trading cards in sight.

Then this asshole shows up. 

His name is Seto Kaiba (or “Kaiba,” at least–not sure if this is just a Viz thing, but my copy of CwT never mentions his given name). Not that he bears a whole lot of resemblance to the Seto Kaiba we later come to know and love (and/or love to hate).

Almost none of his most defining traits are there yet. There’s no mention of Mokuba, no mention of Kaibacorp, no indicationthat he’s especially rich (besides the fact that he’s carrying around a wholebriefcase of trading cards), no reason to believe he has a specific obsession with Blue Eyes (he just thinks it’s a strong card and it’d help him win tournaments), and no sign of any special hacking/strategy/hand-to-hand-combat/etc. skills (the kid is hilariously incompetent). 

This dude was never supposed to be a recurring character, and it shows.

But anyway, let’s run through the basic series of events:

- Kaiba wanders into the game shop looking forbooster packs. Yugi recognizes him as an acquaintance from school (not as a famous kid CEO, and not as a recent transfer student)

- Kaiba happens to notice the Blue Eyes card lying out onGrandpa’s counter (in this version of events, he hasn’t been stealing rare cards for months before this, he didn’t creep on Yugi’s conversation and followhim home, he had no idea going in that the Blue Eyes was there, and he didn’t already have the other three)

- He offers to trade all the cards in his briefcasefor the Blue Eyes (although he doesn’t tell Grandpa to name his price—again,the millionaire CEO element isn’t a thing yet)

- Grandpa refuses, so the next day Kaiba comes up with alaughably badly thought-out plan to steal the card

- Shockingly, Yugi notices that the “color copy from the catalog” isn’t the real deal. He gently tries to confront Kaiba about it in private

- Kaiba (without showing an ounce of the cool head you’d think you’d need to take over and run a company) panics, starts stammering and unconvincingly denying it, and then smacks Yugi with his briefcase

Annnd then Part 2 plays out like a standard s0 chapter.

“Yami Yugi” takes over. They play a shadow game. Kaiba cheats by slipping the stolen Blue Eyes out of his sleeve (Atem’s like “That’s my Grandpa’s card!” and Kaiba straight up goes “Whaaat, nooo, that’s my card that I, uh, found on the street just now.” A teen genius criminal mastermind, everybody). The shadow magic gives him a spritz from its metaphorical Karmic Cat-Training Spray Bottle and makes his Blue Eyes dissolve (I’d like to think that was Kisara going “I’m not mad, just disappointed,” and Memory World tries to retroactively make that connection, but it’s pretty abundantly clear that nothing about this series was planned that far ahead). He loses. Yadda yadda yadda.

And then Atem goes in for the penalty game.

To recap: 

Some random 10th grader from Yugi’s school stole a trading card, hit someone, and was generally kind of a jerk. As punishment, he was trapped in a hyper-realistic illusion of being ripped apart and slaughtered by half a dozen monsters at once.

Y…ay…?

Let’s Stop and Reflect for a Sec

In theory, I shouldn’t be that much more upset about Cards with Teeth than I am about any other part of s0, right? It’s not like the manga framed it as horrific and wrong when Atem set off an explosion in some teenage bully’s face a couple chapters ago. Giving us the vicarious pleasure of punishing our bullies in over-the-top, Carrie-style ways without actually exploring any of the consequences is, like, the early manga’s whole thing.

But even taking into account the fact that I already had an attachment to this Nasty Bowl Cut Boy thanks to the anime, I do actually think that there are at least two factors that set CwT apart.

The first is that Atem’s karmic punishments are usually…well, karmic. If he inflicts physical harm on someone, it’s because they already inflicted or tried to inflict roughly the same amount of harm on Yugi & co. If the crime was relatively minor, then he only gives out a minor punishment–like, say, when the homeroom teacher was Just Kinda Mean, all he did was allow the class to see her without her makeup on (…setting aside the Let’s Get Into Gender Politics-ness of that chapter).

There’s even a few cases where you could argue that the punishment is too light to fit the crime. Ushio beat Jonouchi and Honda half to death and tried to murder Yugi with a knife, and all he got was this lousy t-shirt an illusion that made the trash on the ground look like money.

In another chapter, the villain of the week tried to rape Anzu, and the only punishment he faced was having his side business exposed as a scam (Let’s Get Into Gender Politics).

Yet in CwT, we see one of the most harmless villains in all of s0 (no prolonged beatings or attempted murder? unheard of!) receive what’s arguably the most horrifying penalty game in the whole manga. At least when that guy got set on fire, it was over fast.

And that brings us to factor number two: Kaiba is the first penalty game victim in s0 who comes back. 

Capumon: Gotta Catch ‘em All!

Well, technically he doesn’t come back in person, at first. Someone else shows up to fight in his name.

Oh hey Mokie. How’s it going?

Rather understandably (imo), Mokuba wants the guy who tortured his brother last week to face some actual consequences for it.

Now here’s an interesting opportunity that the manga has set up for itself. Is it going to dig deep into the balance between defending yourself vs lashing out and causing undue harm? Is it going to remind us that most of the penalty game victims so far, whatever their crimes,have been children? Is it going to demonstrate that when you take out your anger on someone, you don’t just hurt your immediate target, but their loved ones as well?

Nah, who am I kidding.  

Hurting or inconveniencing the Good Guys in any way is Bad. Anything the Good Guys do is Good and Justified. Using magic to stick an already-hurting eleven-year-old in his own personalized hell? Good and Justified.

Before he’s shoved screaming into the Giant Vending Machine Capsule Where Bad And Naughty Elementary Schoolers Go To Atone For Their Crimes, Mokuba mentions that the other penalty game he heard about “made my brother go crazy!”

He also drops a hint of things to come with all the subtlety of an anvil. So I guess by this point, the numbers had come in and the card game chapter had proved unexpectedly popular enough that a sequel was in the works.

Death-Twink? Death-Tastic?Death-Two: Electric Boogaloo?

I’ve been pretty hard on Cards with Teeth and Capsule Monsters Chess so far. But you want to know the truth?

On their own, they aren’t necessarily that bad.

What really matters in a story isn’t the literal events: it’s how those events are framed. At the moment, we’re only midway through an incomplete storyline. Maybe we’re supposed to be horrified. Maybe we’re supposed to be questioning whether or not the hero is really in the right. It all hangs on what these chapters are building to.

As it turns out–as Mokuba just helpfully clued us in on–they were building to Death-T.

And that’s where the shit hits the fan.

Over a dozen chapters after we first met Kaiba, a whole bunch of completely-unforeshadowed facts about him are suddenly dumped on us all at once. He’s rich! The kind of rich that allows for limo rides, a giant mansion, and flouncing around in a fur-lined cape like feudal European nobility! And he’s the president of a company, even though “Whaa?!! But he’s still in high school!” Speaking of which, apparently Kaiba “hasn’t been at school recently.”

The Death-T arc opens with Yugi and Jonouchi attending the world’s most awkward sleepover–the host never shows up, and they don’t even get to paint each others’ nails or watch movies. Also Mokuba tries to murder them in the night, but you know what? If someone tortured my brother, “made him go crazy,” and left him huddled in the house feverishly working on a bizarre project and refusing to go to school for the next few weeks, I’d probably poison them too.

The morning after the sleepover, we learn another new Kaiba Fact…

Ever since the Experience of Death happened, he’s been having horrible recurring PTSD nightmares about it. As you do. When you get tortured.

(This is why, even though I know intellectually that it’s Not That Deep and people arejust having fun, I still get a little skeeved out when I see jokes about howDeath-T happened “just” because Kaiba was that mad about losing a card game or “just”because he had a crush on Yugi and he didn’t know how to deal with it. I’malways internally like “Nnno, I’m pretty sure it was the torture?”)

So far we’ve been shown in pretty brutal detail that our “hero” psychologically broke a fifteen-year-old for no good reason. The manga’s going to have its work cut out for it if it really wants to do a convincing redemption arc for its protagonist. And there’s no way it could possibly try to spin that random act of torture as an acceptable thing, right?

…right?

Crime and Punishment

That’s one of my first big problems with Death-T: to me, it reads as a way of trying to retroactively justify the Experience of Death.

That seems to be the purpose of suddenly giving Kaiba all this wealth and power that was never hinted at in Cards with Teeth. See, he wasn’t just some random high school kid who had the bad luck of crossing someone with magic powers; he was (however improbable that is, as the story lampshades) a high school-aged CEO. He’s so ludicrously powerful that he can torture an old man in front of a live audience and get away with it. Punching up looks a lot better than punching down, doesn’t it?

And you can’t really fault the hero for torturing someone evil, can you? Kaiba used Grandpa’s sanity as a blackmail chip! He ran experiments on human test subjects! He wants to kill Yugi and everyone he loves! Surely a little torture is no worse than he deserved.

There’s only one one problem with that: the Experience of Death happened before Death-T. There’s no way Atem could have known any of this was coming. The audience couldn’t have known it was coming. Takahashi didn’t know. Chronologically speaking, the Experience of Death wasn’t revenge for Death-T. It’s the other way around.

Best Served Cold

So Death-T is a form of eye-for-an-eye vengeance: “Yugi” beat Kaiba at Duel Monsters and tortured him, so now Kaiba’s gonna beat Yugi and torture him, using his own perfect virtual recreation of “Yugi’s” penalty game (oh yeah, that whole “the average person goes insane in about 10 minutes” thing? Kaiba was able to program that detail from personal experience).

But wait! This isn’t really eye-for-an-eye! Kaiba’s going after Yugi’s loved ones, not just Yugi, and that’s worse than what Yugi did to him! And even if it was proportionate, revenge is bad and wrong. That’s how you get endless back-and-forth chains of vengeance and generational blood feuds and stuff. Two wrongs don’t make a right!

And those could all be reasonable points, except…

This entire story is about how great and badass eye-for-an-eye justice is.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if you could take everyone who ever hurt you and make them suffer even worse” is practically the thesis of Season 0. You can’t make something look awesome when the protagonist does it and then turn around and make it seem evil and inexcusable coming from anyone else.

And while Kaiba does wind up targeting Yugi’s friends, that wasn’t part of his original plan. He’s surprised when random people start jumping out of the bleachers/the Kaibacorp employee roster and insisting that they won’t let Yugi do this alone. The writing uses his surprise as proof that he just doesn’t understand The Power of Friendship, but it’s also evidence that his original target was just Yugi.

“If you’re gonna side with my torturer, then you can have the same fate as him, I guess.” It’s not even that far outside the logic Atem’s been using all this time. Just because there’s only one main gang member who personally hurt his friend, that doesn’t mean that Atem won’t rope every random mook who gets in his way into the death game too. (Granted, this doesn’t really apply to Kaiba’s treatment of Grandpa. Or the offscreen experimentation/blackmailing. Or Mokuba, but…we’ll get to that).

…But like I said before, the big issue isn’t the events. It’s the framing. Maybe the point will ultimately be that if penalty games are wrong when the bad guy does them, then they’re wrong when the hero does them too. Maybe this is all leading up to a big reexamination of Atem’s moral code and some much-needed character development.

Maybe. Let’s keep going and see.

*Great Gatsby comic voice* Baby? What Baby

Death-T runs for 14 chapters, but Kaiba isn’t actually there for, like…half of them.

I mean, he’s technically there? Occasionally? He’ll show up long enough to dramatically play chess for a panel or so, or to stick his head on a TV monitor and provide some Helpful Death Game Hints. But for all practical purposes, he’s pretty much absent for the entire middle section of the story arc.

And, uh…let’s just say I 100% understand and respect the DM anime’s decisionto go straight from Grandpa’s heart attack to the final duel and skipeverything in between.

If Kaiba’s real goal is to beat Yugi at Duel Monsters, then all the death games leading up to that one are basically filler. And they manage to be just as contrived and nonsensical as any anime filler arc, without a fraction of the fun.

It’s largely a tonal issue. The writing swings wildly between grimdark dramatics, sentimental conversations about friendship where everyone hugs and cries (tbh that’s one of the few redeeming qualities of the arc), and “comic relief” where the “““comedy””” is all either bodily function jokes or sexual assault jokes (L̠̤̯͍̦e̮̪͎̞t's̞̮̳̱̰̦̲ ̲G͖͉̹̻̯͉͖e̜̝̗͓̟͚t̖͚ ͚̰̞̮̝̫͎I͓̜̦̳̭͚͎n̪̪͈t͍̥̰̼o͚͎͇̣̘̝ ̪̼̜̣̳G͈̠̫e̳̝̗̪ṋ͚̞͎ͅd͔̙͓̯̹e̯̺̯̩r͔̣̲͔̳̗ ̘͙P̖̦o̩̺͖͎̞̬l͎̺͕̹i͇̣̼̦t̰i̬̰̝͙̗̝c̜̼̺̪̲̞s).

Honestly, in terms of the “stanning and fairness” argument, there’s not much to talk about here. It just adds insult to injury that not only does Death-T throw my fave under the bus, but it’s really badly written.

The Mokuba Thing

Okay, let’s fast-forward through the filler zone and stoppp…here. 

In the context of the anime, where we know (and see multiple flashbacks demonstrating) that their whole life has been an “us against the world” story, this scene is tragic. Seto’s trust in people has been eroded so much that he even thinks Mokuba is conspiring against him? Their love and support for each other, which has survived through so much hardship, has finally cracked under the weight of this latest trauma? There’s a lot of dramatic and tearjerking potential there.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that most of us bring our baggage from the anime with us when we read the manga. The vast majority of the western Yugioh fandom did start with DM. 

But if we look at this purely in the context of the manga–if we can pretend, for a second, that none of us have ever heard of the anime–this is the first time we see the two of them interacting onscreen. And none of those touching flashbacks of Seto comforting Mokuba and defending him from bullies and promising to be his father exist here. All we ever really learn about their relationship before this point is “They used to be a little closer when they were younger. Source: one (1) photo of them playing chess.”

So instead of serving as the tragic lowpoint of their relationship, this scene sets the baseline for it: Mokuba desperately wants to make his brother happy and earn his approval, while Seto responds with dismissal and cruelty.

In the anime (and to a certain extent in the later manga), Mokuba’s purpose in the narrative is to humanize Seto. But in Death-T, he serves the opposite function. Every interaction they have is an opportunity for Seto to kick the dog and prove what a monster he is.

And it’s all downhill from here.

………………

…So.

I have…mixed feelings about this.

On one level–a meta level–I think this scene serves the same purpose as taking that random high schooler from CwT and suddenly giving him ridiculous amounts of money and power and mustache-twirling levels of villainy. It’s a way of making the Experience of Death seem retroactively justified (and also a way of making the upcoming penalty game look fair).

On the other hand. It’s. 

Horrific.

This scene is supposed to make us hate Kaiba, and it does it’s job really really well.

Personally speaking? I’m of the opinion that trying to hurt the child under your care as badly as you conceivably can is a “don’t pass go, don’t collect $100″ kind of deal. There’s no coming back from that. There’s no fixing or salvaging this relationship.  

(God, this whole thing is wrapped in so many layers of fantasy that I’m not even sure what the real-world equivalent would be. Trying to beat your child not quite to death?)

Mokuba should not have had to continue living with his brother after this, any more than the Ishtars should have had to stay with their dad or Seto should have had to stay with Gozaburo. Mokuba forgiving Seto for this isn’t touching to me, it’s gut-wrenching. Every “heartwarming” brotherly moment in the later manga (all, like…2 and a half of them) feels hollow and sad.

As far as I’m concerned, this scene doesn’t “complicate” their relationship in any interesting or meaningful way. Their anime relationship already has plenty of complications–their sometimes unhealthy co-dependence, the fact that Seto is still a kid himself and he’s not really equipped to be a parent,Mokuba’s difficulty understanding that Seto can’t just “go back to who he was” before his trauma, the times when Seto is too caught up in his own pain to really be there for Mokuba, the manipulation involved in Seto’s takeover plan, etc. This just makes their relationship outright child abuse.

But hey, they hugged that one time in Duelist Kingdom, so it’s fine, right?

ExODiA iiiIIIIT’s not pAHsible

The final duel happens. The big Blue Eyes vs Exodia showdown.

*Bill Wurtz voice* So that’s pretty nifty, I would say.

It’s..? A genuinely cool and dramatic duel. There’s a reason it’s one of the, like, three Death-T elements the DM anime actually bothered to keep. Not much to say about it.

Sure was a whole lot of buildup just to end things with one (1) deus ex machina instawin card, tho.

The Tragic Backstory

So if all this happened because of a penalty game, what do you think the solution could be?

Did you say “another, even harsher penalty game”?

Ding ding ding!

This time, instead of torturing the fifteen-year-old, our hero puts the fifteen-year-old in a vegetative state as he begs for mercy.

Yaaaayy! 

Some fun facts about the Mind Crush that we don’t actually learn until Duelist Kingdom:

1. It lasted for 6 months

2. Mokuba spent that entire time alone, in the big empty mansion, with no parental guidance or adult supervision except the butlers and maids, caring for his brother’s comatose body 24/7

3. When Atem put Kaiba in that coma, he had absolutely no idea if he’d ever be able to wake up or not. He thought he could, maybe–Kaiba’s pretty strong, right? But he also finds the idea that Kaiba died in his coma and came back to haunt him perfectly believable. “Fixed,” dead…eh, it was kind of a coin toss.

But wait, the story’s not over yet! First we have to find out Why Kaiba Is The Way He Is (“Because your buddy tortured him last month” isn’t enough of an answer, apparently).

This is communicated in the most natural way possible: Mokuba just starts monologuing about all his brother’s deepest darkest traumas to a bunch of strangers his brother hates.

The claim that Kaiba’s backstory is “more complex” in the manga than it is in the anime has always confused me, because this is…it. These three pages are the whole backstory. I mean, in Battle City we do get one more passing line of dialog about how Kaibacorp used to be a weapons manufacturer and Gozaburo “sold Seto’s soul to the military industrial complex,” but other than that… The anime took these bare bones and fleshed them out significantly, but from a pure manga canon standpoint, it’s not a whole lot to work with.

But there’s still enough here to rub me the wrong way.

For one thing, this sequence is almost an exact parallel to two later moments in the manga: Pegasus’s backstory dump at the end of Duelist Kingdom, and Malik’s backstory dump mid-Battle City. In both of those cases, the purpose of the scene is to take a villain whose motives seemed cruel and inexplicable and finally reveal the reasons behind his actions. We’re supposed to be seeing these characters in a sympathetic light for the very first time.

But Kaiba’s motives in Death-T, uh, weren’t exactly a mystery. He already made it pretty explicitly clear that this was about the torture. So as a narrative tool, Mokuba’s monologue:

1. seems a little superfluous

2. seems like a way of taking any responsibility out of the protagonist’s hands. Kaiba didn’t snap because of anything Atem did, he just had a bunch of fucked up baggage that Atem couldn’t possibly have known about or accounted for. Who knew some people take it badly when you torture them??

3. seems to suggest that we weren’t supposed to be sympathizing with Kaiba before this point. If this is the big “oh, now that I know why he did it, I guess I feel a little bad for him :(” moment, then that means the part where he got tortured…wasn’t?

And, as always, there’s the issue of the framing.

The grace note of the monologue–the thought it leaves us with, the intended takeaway–isn’t “If only he hadn’t gone through years of abuse, in circumstances he had no real control over because he was a child.” It’s “If only he hadn’t brought all this upon himself by cheating.”

Even if we ignore the fact that it’s physically impossible to cheat at chess (which seems like kind of a big oversight for a gaming manga, but oh well, That’s Yugioh Babe)…

How can you possibly present a ten-year-old cheating at a board game in a desperate gambit to get himself and his brother out of an orphanage as his start of darkness?

Yet that’s exactly what the writing does. This is a story about how games “reveal the true hearts” of their players and bring karmic retribution down on anyone who doesn’t respect the game and follow the rules. The implication is that the child abuse Seto suffered was karma. He rightfully earned it by cheating at chess, just like he brought the Experience of Death upon himself by cheating at Duel Monsters.

Oh yeah, speaking of which…

Wheel of Morality, Turn Turn Turn, Tell Us The Lesson We Should Learn

What was the outcome of Death-T? What impact did it actually have? 

Did it bring about any big moral reckoning? Any questioning of the heroes’ values? Did Atem learn the difficult but important lesson “torture bad”?

Nnnnope!

Death-T is immediately followed by a series of episodic chapters that take us right back to the status quo like nothing happened. Atem keeps merrily handing out penalty games all the way up to the very end of Duelist Kingdom. When he does finally stop doing them, his decision has nothing to do with Death-T. It takes a comment from Pegasus about the Millennium Items having an “evil intelligence” to make him wonder “wait…I’m from a Millennium Item…I’m an intelligence…could evil…maybe include…torture????”

And even after the manga lukewarmly reverses its position to “torture sort of bad I guess,” it never really does anything with that revelation. None of the past penalty games are ever reexamined. No apologies are made. The Experience of Death is quietly swept under the rug, and the Mind Crush, when it’s brought up at all, is framed as noble act that “fixed” Kaiba (because “if you make someone suffer badly enough, you can hurt them into being a better person” is a great message).

Basically, we learned nothing from Death-T, nothing changed, and our takeaway is supposed to be “Atem was 100% in the right and Kaiba was 100% in the wrong, and also he’s an evil monster who deserved everything he got.”

Guess I Need A Satisfying Conclusion of Some Kind Even Through Death-T Didn’t Really Have One, Huh

Wow.

That was…a whole lot of words of Death-T rage that I apparently had in me zjkghzkkf. 

I tend to feel less justified about constantly harping on Death-T then I do when it comes to, like, the racism in Memory World, or the series’ general Miss O’Gyny. It’s not like “magical vigilantism” is exactly a real-word social issue that’s being reflected in this piece of fiction. I realize a lot of my anger pretty much boils down to “hey,, ! thats…my fave. stopp...being mean to him >:(”

But I also feel like the issues in Death-T aren’t limited to Death-T.

The manga has this…this thing where it wants to be able to pinpoint a few clear, unchanging moral rules (“cheating is bad!” “graverobbing is bad!” “patricide is bad!”) and just apply them neatly to every situation, without having to take into account any of that inconvenient stuff like “what were the circumstances of this specific situation,” or “how many choices were actually open to this person,” or “how much harm was done by this choice compared to its benefits in terms of basic human well-being.” Yet at the same time, that moral absolutism is somehow coupled with a reluctance to apply any moral judgement to its protagonists at all. 

The two points where that becomes clearest are Death-T and Memory World. And I feel like even when people acknowledge the issues with those arcs, they still want to be able to write it off as “oh, that was just a problem with the early chapters, it was fixed as the writing matured,” or “oh, that was just a problem at the end because of the mad rush to finish the story before it got canceled, it was never a thing before then.” But it’s not an isolated problem. It’s there at the beginning of the story, it’s there at the end, and it’s baked into everything in the middle.

…but anyhow. 

hey,, ! thats…my fave. stopp...being mean to him >:(

[yzssie]

500 followers+Get to know more about me

Hello darlings ❤❤❤  I just want to thank to everyone who followed me because I have just reached the 500 followers milestone (T_T) This is so important to me, I am tremendously grateful for everyone’s support and love. 

As I have said, I will write a little sequel for the “Fanfic Gone... Good?” fic when I reach 500 followers so stay tuned! I will post it after I finish the last two chapters of “Ocean Eyes”! 

In order to celebrate a little bit before the actual surprise, I have prepared a list of “get to know me” questions, some funny ones and some /coughs/ rated ones ahahah. Mention the number (comment or ask) of the questions you would like me to answer. Please don’t hesitate ahh I love this kind of things.

Ask me anything you want❤❤

Where are you from?

Where do you live now?

How old are you?

What are the colours of your hair and eyes?

How tall are you?

What languages do you speak?

What is your major?

Are you in a relationship?

Do you have siblings?

Do you have pets?

Do you work?

Do you wear glasses or contacts? 

Do you have tattoos or piercings?

What country did you visit and which ones do you plan to?

What is your zodiac sign?

What famous person have you met?

Name one thing not many people know about you.

What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? 

Who is your favourite music artist?

Who is your favourite actor?

Who is your favourite author?

What is your favourite song?

What is your favourite movie?

What is your favourite tv show?

What is your favourite book?

What is your favourite color?

What is your favourite food?

What is your favourite dessert?

What is your favourite drink?

What is your favourite season?

What are your favourite genres?

What is your favorite flavor of anything? 

What are your hobbies? 

What color are most of your clothes?

Are you artistic or rational?

Are you a morning or night person? 

Are you afraid of the dark? 

Are you an extrovert or introvert?

Are you left or right handed?

Are you afraid of heights?

Are you ticklish?

Are you a coffee or a tea person?

Are you a good liar? 

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

Do you cry easily?

Do you talk to yourself? 

Do you have any phobias?

Do you have any bad habits?

Do you get angry easily?

Do you get scared easily?

Do you prefer salty or sweet?

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

Do you have any special talents?

Do you consider yourself a good cook? 

How would you describe your fashion sense?

What phone do you have? 

Can you sing?

Can you dance?

What injuries did you have?

What is your most embarrassing memory? 

What is something you want to do but you can’t?

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? 

Have you ever been into a fight?

If you could be any animal, what would you be?

If you could have any superpower, what would it be? 

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? 

If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?

If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

If you would be thrown in jail, what crime did you commit?

You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?

What is the story behind your username?

What is your favourite Marvel character?

If you are chosen to play a MCU character, which one would you want?

Rate the Chris(es).

Rate the Tom(s).

What is your Hogwarts House?

What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

What is your ringtone?

Would you rather wear someone else's dirty underwear or use their toothbrush?

Would you rather have a 1-minute conversation with your past self or your future self?

If you could reincarnate yourself, would you rather come back as a human or an animal?

Would you rather not have sex for a year or have it every day of your life but not orgasm ever?

Would you rather spend the day wearing wet socks or spend the day with a popcorn kernel stuck in your teeth?

Would you rather be a superhero or a wizard?

Would rather be able to speak to animals or every language in the world?

Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20 minutes early?

Would you rather lose all of your money and valuables or all of the pictures you have ever taken?

Would you rather never use social media sites / apps again or never watch another movie or TV show?

Would you rather be completely invisible for one day or be able to fly for one day?

Would you rather find your true love or a suitcase with five million dollars inside?

Would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or be able to read minds?

Would you rather die in 20 years with no regrets or die in 50 years with many regrets?

Would you rather be transported permanently 500 years into the future or 500 years into the past?

Would you rather be able to control fire or water? 

Would you rather have a golden voice or a silver tongue?

Would you rather eat rice with every meal or eat bread with every meal?

NOW FOR THE HOT ONES: 

Biggest turn ons.

Biggest turn downs.

Do you enjoy talking dirty or naughty?

What do you like most about the opposite gender (physically)?

What’s the dirtiest fantasy you’ve had at work?

What’s the weirdest thing that turns you on?

What do you do when you get horny in public?

Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom?

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member? 

What do you wear while going to bed?

How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their “third”? 

What is your opinion about sexting? Have you ever done it?

Would you have unprotected sex?

Would you give oral sex?

Are you into BDSM?

If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Is there anything you won’t do in bed?

Would you rather have it with the lights on or off?

Would you rather swallow or spit?

Would you rather be on top or underneath?

Would you rather do romantic things or try out some new kinky ideas?

Would you rather sit on a dick and eat cake or sit on a cake and eat a dick?

[cielrouge]

Killing Eve Event Recap at the Split Screens Festival 

I went to BBC America's Killing Eve event at the IFC Center earlier today, as part of their annual Split Screens Festival in its second year. The festival presented their annual Vanguard Award to Sandra Oh, given to an individual who's changed television. In its first year, the award previously went to David Chase, the showrunner of The Sopranos. After a screening of the first episode Nice Face, the moderator sat down with Sandra Oh for an extended conversation.

Sandra noted that episodes 1 -3 is where the show establishes its footing.

So it's not until episode 5 where you have this moment of narrative breakthrough with Eve and Villanelle.

Sandra admitted that her favorite episodes were 3, 5, and 8.

Jodie Comer didn't really get her bearings as Villanelle and her characterization until the 5th episode.

Killing Eve as a Cultural Phenomenon

Sandra admits that she doesn't read much in terms of critical reviews because it's too anxiety-inducing for her, but in terms of personal reactions, it's been marked by an obsessive quality. She noted that people have been excited about the show in a different way, like it's really 'delicious' and a 'little naughty.'

When the moderator asked if 'lighting has struck for Sandra in this particular way before,' she responded: "It's subtly different. You can't plan whether something becomes a hit or not ever. The way you fall in love once is the never the same as falling in love twice. But [the show] was lightning in a bottle after it aired."

Sandra admitted that she's learned a tremendous amount during her time as Cristina Yang on Grey's Anatomy, and feels wiser: while the state of television is very different from how it was just 10-15 years ago, Sandra felt that she's learned how to be an artist and not just a commodity. She feels that she knows herself well at this point, but it is part of the business where actors take a long time to figure out who they are and what works for them personally.

Sandra's Creative Process & Craft as a Television Actress

Sandra noted that she loves working in the metaphor and in terms of a lot her work, she lives in that space as a greater part of her creative process.

Within this space, using episode 5 as an example (when Villanelle takes a certain object), Sandra had to think what does this object mean to Eve, because: "when I pick this up, it has tremendous meaning to me" and once she figured this out, it "will mean something to you as the audience."

One of the things that Sandra did for Eve's character building was writing down her dreams in a dream journal-esque way. Sandra noted that she's worked with an acting teacher for a span of 13 years who's really helped changed her own creative process, but also participates in workshops with other actors as well.

Sandra noted that much of her creative process happens before actual shooting. Likewise, Sandra admits that she doesn't typically doesn't like watching post-production, since sometimes some of her favorite scenes can get cut. Therefore after she finishes shooting an episode, Sandra is okay with letting go of her work and having it out of her hands, in comparison to other actors who many want to extend a sense of control.

Sandra works very closely with the show writers and has had a lot of close conversations with Phoebe Waller-Bridge (writer & creator) when it comes to Eve's characterization.

Sandra admitted that shooting the 1st season was bananas, but this is typical for most shows, since you're still in the midst of the creation process. In comparison to film which is finite, television is an ongoing process that she finds more challenging - "it's this living, breathing thing.”

 "Which also tends to be true for most television scripts, since you essentially have no idea what comes next after it, and showrunners can start writing things to the strength of the characters as they develop."

Eve Polastri's Characterization

When Sandra first got the television script, she immediately understood Phoebe Waller-Bridge's voice and off the page, Sandra could tell it was a different tone to the show. Shoe noted that there was a definite, multidimensional quality to Eve and mostly 'I felt like I got [Eve's] wit. Her specific style of it. I kind of loved her messiness."

What struck out to Sandra was this is clearly a psychological cat-and-mouse game with these two women [Eve and Villanelle] and a show that specifically examines this kind of POV was fascinating to her.

"It's not like it's just a detective and a serial killer and it could be anyone, it has to be these two women, since the show is an examination of the female psyche and archetypes."

Sandra also noted: "For Eve you have the practical, she's hunting this person [Villanelle] down, but on the unconscious level, what is she really hunting down? What is she trying to kill? What is trying to kill her?"

When talking to Phoebe early on, Sandra asked if it was preferred to portray Eve with an English accent. Phoebe replied that she didn't have to. So, Sandra noted that "even though it's a BBC America show, a very English show with this very European feel, I think they [the network] still wanted to have a grounding American element to it, to kind of bring people over to it, and that was Eve."

In the pilot episode where Eve and Villanelle first met in the bathroom, you have the "wear it down" line that Villanelle says to Eve. Sandra noted that this was specific moment in the show where "something had to be done visually that we could carry on."

 Pretty much for most of this episode, you see Eve fiddling with her hair, since this is just something that women with long hair do. But Sandra actually lobbied for Eve's hair to be down in this scene, "kind of in its natural state, since it allows for its frazzled-ness that you don't have to play "- so it acted as a form of unconscious storytelling where 'things about to get wilder' and is a direct contrast when you see Villanelle with her wigs and hairpins earlier on.

Sandra also cited the use of Eve's handbag which became a part of her character, so "it's not just visually defining but becomes part of character's psyche in some way." Though, she's generally not the biggest fan of pronounced symbols and prefers more subtler use of metaphors where the audience gets to step in and put in their own projection.

The Use of Humor in Killing Eve

The moderator admitted that he was really struck by the show's use of humor: "the very first scene with Villanelle is funny, in a James Bond/Atomic Blond kind of way. And then there's Eve's introduction, which is just a laugh riot."

In terms of balancing humor with the other elements, Sandra noted that part of this was the difference in tone: where it's "not like jokes are told for humor's sake, but rather buried and so deeply grounded within the characters. When you put Carolyn and Eve together in a scene and there's running dialogue, you can get something really funny, but it's based within their characters. You never think that they're doing something funny for funny's sake. It's really the way that they speak, along with their body language."

"All the characters are funny in the way that people you know are funny. But the humor doesn't necessarily counteract with the intensity, since you're still getting character dimension."

Sandra stated that humor is "one of the most grounding human elements in how you relate to someone. How you get people to understand you. If they can recognize themselves in you, and a lot of times this is through doing something so human. It's not necessarily that it's funny on its own, but in the context of this character, it becomes familiar."

Sandra admitted that she loves doing work that has both elements of drama and comedy.

 Unfortunately there wasn’t time for an audience Q&A afterwards, but getting these types of insights are always super fun in my opinion.