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flarebossmalva · 6 years

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SCP Reading Guide

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You asked for it. Or, well… actually, you didn’t, I just said I was doing this and a couple of you seemed interested and then I forgot to post it in a timely fashion. But here it is! A not-so-definitive guide to getting into the SCP Foundation. With so many articles, knowing where to start can be daunting, so I’ve put together a list of articles I think are worth your while.

If you don’t know anything at all about the Foundation yet, check out this page for some basic background info, and this page for a guide on what object classes mean. The SCP Wiki has a flexible approach to canon, so you’re free to draw your own conclusions and have your own ideas about what it all means. It’s a collaborative writing project, and, as a reader, you should consider yourself a part of that collaboration too — your interpretation is as valid as anybody else’s!

Assuming you’re somewhat oriented now, let’s get onto the list. Under the cut:

For this list, I chose to skip over joke SCP articles; although there are some excellent joke SCPs out there, this list is already very long without adding any of the joke articles (and, in general, the joke SCPs are more accessible for newbies and require less explanation, so there’s no need for me to make a reading guide for them anyway).

001 - Awaiting De-classification [Blocked] Somewhere along the line, it must have been collectively decided by the writers on SCP Wiki that 001 would have to be some sort of origin point for all other SCPs. With that in mind, a variety of writers took a crack at it, and there are many different proposals to read through. You can consider any, all, or none of them to be canon, according to your taste. My personal favorites are A Record, The Spiral Path, and The Database.

002 - The “Living” Room A one-room apartment with all furnishings made out of biological material, such as human bone, human hair, and human teeth. Seven Foundation personnel have disappeared since 002 was first contained, and 002 has added new furnishings to itself.

004 - The 12 Rusty Keys and the Door A locked barn door at the entrance to an abandoned factory. Twelve rusted keys were found in a nearby lockbox. All twelve keys fit the door, but using any key other than the seventh or the twelfth in the lock causes the holder of the key to be torn apart in multiple directions, with body parts scattered about or, in some cases, vanished entirely. Using the seventh key causes the door to open and reveal an impossibly large room; using the twelfth causes the bearer of the key to enter a catatonic state from which most fail to recover.

016 - Sentient Micro-organism A bloodborne pathogen which infects humans. The pathogen typically kills its human hosts by causing near-total exsanguination, exposing other humans to the infected blood in the process. If the host is put in a life-or-death situation, however, the pathogen will instead cause rapid mutations in its host to allow it to escape its predicament.

017 - Shadow Person  A small, humanoid figure, covered by a shadowy shroud. 017 reacts to shadows cast upon it by completely engulfing the object or being casting the shadow, then returning to its normal size having apparently consumed its target without leaving a trace behind.

024 - Game Show of Death An abandoned sound stage. People who enter are invited to participate in a game show by an unseen announcer; the rules and theme of the game vary each time. The winner, if there is one, is granted a random prize. Losers disappear, never to be seen again.

028 - Knowledge A small area in northern Michigan. Stepping into this area grants a person complete knowledge of a specific subject, ranging from the useful to the not-so-useful.

029 - Daughter of Shadows A teenage girl with alopecia universalis (complete lack of hair) and a pigmentation condition where most of her skin is completely black and the remainder has no melanin at all. 029 is both extremely homicidal and extremely adept at combat, capable of using virtually anything as a weapon. She also possesses superhuman reflexes and resilience, though bright direct light hampers these abilities. Men who come into contact with 029 become devoted to her, willing to kill or die for her. 029 was discovered after a cult had formed around her in rural India.

046 - “Predatory” Holly Bush A large group of plants located in southern Kentucky. Animals and people suffering from serious diseases (both physical and psychological) feel a compulsion to approach the cluster of plants and lay themselves down to die nearby. It’s unclear whether this SCP is predatory in nature, feeding off biological material from the dying that come to it, or whether it simply offers the sick a peaceful place to die in.

048 - The Cursed SCP Number Due to a series of dangerous and destructive mishaps involving various SCP items assigned this number by the Foundation over the years, Foundation personnel have become highly superstitious regarding the 048 designation and SCPs are no longer being assigned this number. It’s not known if the slot itself has any supernatural properties, but the long history of accidents surrounding SCPs designated as 048 suggests that maybe there’s something anomalous here.

053 - Young Girl A three-year-old whose presence induces homicidal rage in all persons near her. However, anyone who attempts to harm her will die immediately afterwards of apparent heart attack or seizure, and 053 will near-instantaneously regenerate any damage. Apart from that she seems to be a pretty normal toddler, though I personally find her friendship with 682 a bit worrying.

055 - [unknown]  It’s impossible to remember anything about 055 when not directly viewing it, so the Foundation is treating it with the utmost caution — if this thing were dangerous, no one would know, after all! No one at the Foundation knows what 055 is, how it was acquired by the Foundation, or what it looks like. In fact, most of the time no one can remember it’s even there.

056 - A Beautiful Person Shapeshifter which likes to take on forms similar to, but better than, the people around it. Kind of pisses everyone off.

063 - “The World’s Best TothBrush”  It’s a really good toothbrush. I mean… tothbrush. Can completely expunge dead or non-organic matter from existence. Gets fussy when not used regularly to brush teeth.

073 - “Cain” Appears to be a thirty-something Middle Eastern man, with his limbs, spinal column, and shoulder blades replaced by strange metal prostheses. He’s smart and polite, if a little cold in demeanor. Plant-based life immediately dies when near him, and plant-based materials such as wood and paper disintegrate or rot in his presence. Anyone attempting to do harm to him has the injuries reflected back on themselves, while 073 is unscathed. There’s strong implications that this SCP is in fact the biblical Cain.

076 - “Able” A hollow stone cube housing a man in his late twenties. Most of the time he appears to be dead, but occasionally he spontaneously reanimates, at which point he will try and leave the stone cube via its door. Once out, he targets the nearest human and goes on a killing rampage. The only way to stop him is by killing him, which proves very difficult as he’s superhumanly strong and fast and quite resilient to damage. After his death, his corpse quickly disintegrates and he “respawns” inside the cube. Like 073, there are strong implications that 076 is the biblical Abel.

079 - Old AI A sentient artificial intelligence, capable of passing the Turing test and of communicating with researchers. It’s not happy about being contained by the Foundation.

085 - Hand-Drawn “Cassy” A sentient drawing, created using two other SCPs. She can interact with other drawn objects, which helps keep her entertained, but she’s aware of her condition as a drawing confined to a sheet of paper and is getting a bit depressed.

087 - The Stairwell  One of the most popular SCP articles, and for a good reason. 087 is a stairwell located behind a locked door on what is heavily implied to be a college campus. The stairwell descends for much longer than should be possible given both the building it’s located in and the geological structures underneath the building, but no one is sure how far down it goes; several manned expeditions have failed to reach the bottom. A child can be heard crying some way down the stairs, but no one has located the source of the crying; there is a strange being inhabiting the stairwell, but it’s not the one crying, and it doesn’t seem to like having visitors.

089 - Tophet A statue of a bull-headed humanoid, with an interior chamber. On infrequent occasions, the statue speaks (in Punic, the language of ancient Carthage), describing a catastrophic event about to take place and the method of stopping it. Invariably, this method involves the sacrifice of a human infant or small child by that child’s mother.

093 - Red Sea Object  A strange stone disc that allows some sort of interdimensional travel via mirror when it’s held by a human. The places it takes one to are… weird, and seem dependent on the stone’s holder in a way that isn’t yet understood by the Foundation.

096 - The “Shy Guy” A humanoid creature. Normally docile, but if someone views its face (either directly, or via recorded or still image) it becomes extremely distressed, screaming and crying, before heading with incredible swiftness in the direction of the unlucky soul who viewed it, no matter where they are. Once it reaches its target, it will kill them and completely destroy their body (perhaps by eating it) before calming down.

106 - The Old Man Appears to be a decomposing, elderly humanoid. It’s very difficult to contain due to its corrosive effect on anything it touches and its ability to create a sort of “pocket dimension” where it brings its prey (humans, preferably 10-25 years old). It can become dormant for months, barely moving at all, before suddenly breaking containment and attacking as many people as it can, bringing them into its pocket dimension to play with and ultimately kill.

140 - An Incomplete Chronicle A book detailing the history of a previously unknown ancient civilization. When the book comes into contact with any fluid suitable for writing with (it favors human blood), it expands, and the history of this civilization continues, with previous defeats becoming mere setbacks. Archaeological digs prove that this civilization did indeed exist and that it produced many highly dangerous anomalous objects, such as are described in the book.

158 - Soul Extractor A device capable of extracting a strange, colorful substance from living subjects capable of cognition. Extracting said substance will cause the test subject to cease all higher brain functions, though the process can be reversed without ill effects. “Souls” gathered in such a manner can also be transferred from host to host, or even from a living being to a machine.

168 - Sentient Calculator Specifically, it’s a graphing calculator, capable of responding to verbal questions using its screen. It functions as a normal calculator too, though it claims to have trouble with long division.

173 - The Sculpture  The first SCP ever written, and by far the best known. It’s an odd statue that is only animate when not in someone’s line of sight (think Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, or the hedge animals from The Shining), and it’s extremely aggressive.

184 - The Architect A small metallic object that, when inside an enclosed structure such as a building, will expand the structure’s interior dimensions without altering its exterior dimensions. The effect is permanent and will continue for as long as the object remains inside said structure. Initially it simply makes existing rooms larger, but will eventually begin adding completely new rooms in the same style as existing ones. This effect becomes stranger and stranger the longer the object is allowed to remain inside a structure. The personal log linked at the bottom of the article is worth reading for an example of 184’s effects.

187 - Double Vision A young woman, ordinary aside from her ability to perceive things both as they currently are and as they will be at some notable future point. This precognitive double vision is often greatly distressing to her, but, because of her value to the Foundation in terms of predicting security breaches before they occur, they’re doing their damndest to keep her alive at all costs. The experiment log has her viewing several SCPs and reporting on what she sees; it’s pretty interesting.

205 - Shadow Lamps An identical pair of flood lamps of the type used for photography. When turned on and aimed at a white surface such as a projection screen, the white surface will display the silhouette of a young woman. The lamps will, when supplied with power and maintained, depict the events leading up to the death of the shadow-woman over a period of six months.

212 - The Improver A large, robotic medical apparatus. When exposed to a living organism, 212 will restrain it before performing various “improvements” upon the being in question, working extremely quickly and without the use of any anesthetics. Although many subjects “improved on” by 212 die as a result of the changes and injuries inflicted, more than half survive, albeit in an often radically altered state.

217 - The Clockwork Virus An incredibly contagious virus capable of infecting any animal, humans included. It causes an infected subject’s body to be converted into biological clockwork, replacing a subject’s organs with machine-like but still living versions serving the same basic functions. In mammals, the internal organs are converted first, meaning infected subjects may not appear to be ill until the infection has entered its late stages and allowing the infection to spread more easily between humans. Affected humans will become lethargic, dull, and unemotional as the disease progresses.

223 - A Photo Album The photo album in question contains 28 photos, with the last page of the album (which presumably held two more photos) ripped out. The pictures show an engaged couple, identified by the Foundation as having perished in a murder-suicide carried out by the husband-to-be after he believed his fiancée had cheated on him. Subjects in happy long-term romantic relationships will, when viewing the album, instead see a selection of photographs featuring their partner along with an attractive stranger; they will become consumed by the belief that their partner is cheating on them with this stranger, and that the missing final two photographs would contain proof of this affair.

228 - Psychiatric Diagnostic Tool A Polaroid photograph that changes appearance depending on the viewer, basing its appearance on some aspect of the viewer’s subconscious mind. The Foundation uses this to assist in psychoanalysis. Refreshing the page will display a different image each time; try it for yourself.

231 - Special Personnel Requirements A young girl, one of seven rescued by the Foundation during a raid on a Satanic sex cult. The other six are now deceased. Much of this article is redacted, but reading between the lines it seems clear that this girl must be subjected to a horrifying procedure regularly in order to prevent her from giving birth to some sort of incredibly dangerous monstrosity. This procedure is so brutal that only individuals who show no sympathy towards 231’s plight are assigned to carry it out. There’s a poem hidden in the HTML on the page that gives some more insight.

247 - A Harmless Kitten It’s actually a Bengal tiger, but observers see it as a kitten and believe that it’s harmless regardless of whether or not they knew beforehand that it’s a tiger. Apart from that, it behaves like a pretty typical cat, by which I mean sometimes it’s friendly and sometimes it eats you.

261 - Pan-Dimensional Vending A vending machine that dispenses random snack items when given currency (it only accepts Japanese yen). Sometimes it dispenses normal snacks, but sometimes it dispenses… strange ones. The experiment log is worth a read.

272 - An Old Iron Nail This particular old iron nail embeds itself into the ground when dropped and will trap any living being whose shadow it falls onto, rendering them unable to either remove the nail or to move away from the spot where they were trapped. Others are perfectly capable of removing the nail, though they report not really wanting to do so. Interesting experiment log for this one as well; a good example of an SCP classified as Safe that’s still both plenty disturbing and capable of dealing a lot of damage.

294 - The Coffee Machine A coffee vending machine, equipped with a full keyboard. After inputting 50 cents, a user can request any liquid using the keyboard and it will be vended to them in what appears to be a paper cup. It can fill almost any request, including ones for abstract concepts such as “a cup of music,” but it also appears literal-minded in other respects (asking for “a cup of Joe” is a bad idea).

303 - The Doorman This entity likes to materialize on the other side of a closed door near a human observer. Its presence causes great fear to those near it, but it doesn’t appear to be doing this on purpose. The Foundation doesn’t know where 303 came from, nor how to properly contain it. They also don’t know why it’s begun hoarding items in a storage room.

321 - Child of Man Once the stillborn child of two Foundation staff members, this SCP was successfully reanimated by its parents using several other SCP items. It has grown to tremendous size since then, but its intellect has not progressed beyond that of an infant. 321’s father has made several attempts over the years to have 321’s SCP status revoked so it can be returned to him and 321’s mother, but each attempt has been denied.

342 - A Ticket to Ride A ticket which, when held, transforms into a ticket for whatever form of mass transportation the holder desires to use (such as a train or a bus). When used to board a vehicle, the holder of 342 becomes unable to leave the vehicle and will disappear once the vehicle reaches its last stop.

343 - “God” A nice older man who claims to be the creator of the universe, and who does seem capable of feats such as teleportation and creating/summoning objects from nowhere. He’s allowed to more or less do whatever he wants and is well-liked by all the staff; however, because 343 is so affable (and due to some apparent mind-altering effect of his), it appears the Foundation is cutting him way more slack than they probably should be.

354 - The Red Pool A pool of red liquid which resembles blood but isn’t. Strange hostile entities sometimes escape the pool and attack Foundation personnel. Read the exploration log; it’s very odd.

387 - Living Lego A tub of Legos. Things constructed using these Legos will become animate, performing tasks appropriate to their surroundings (e.g. driving vehicles) and using the Legos to expand their society if left alone long enough.

409 - Contagious Crystal An object resembling a large quartz crystal. Anything coming into contact with 409 begins to crystallize, an effect which, in organic beings, is irreversible and extremely painful. Once crystallization is complete, the crystallized object or being will burst into thousands of fragments. Anything or anyone hit by a fragment will also begin to crystallize.

423 - Self-Inserting Character This SCP manifests by writing itself into books as a minor character named “Fred” or similar. Fred is fully sapient and capable of moving from book to book. Communication with Fred is possible by having him inhabit a journal. Experiment log is pretty interesting.

426 - I Am A Toaster It’s a regular toaster, except that it’s impossible to speak about it in anything other than first person, and when you’re around it for too long you come to believe that you are the toaster. This is both funny and disastrous.

427 - Lovecraftian Locket A locket created by refining an SCP-500 pill using SCP-914. Like 500, it can quickly cure any known disease when a sick subject is exposed to it. Unlike 500, prolonged exposure to 427 causes strange mutations, eventually converting the subject’s body into a highly aggressive mass of mutated flesh.

439 - Bone Hive An insect similar to an earwig which enters a sleeping human host via the mouth and converts the host’s still-living body into its hive by inducing rapid bone growth and reshaping of the skeletal structure. Once a new queen is produced by the hive and successfully mates with a drone, the hive is destroyed and all insects except the fertilized queen die, leaving the new queen to search for another host.

447 - Ball of Green Slime It’s what it sounds like. The green slime has many useful applications; it can be used to brush your teeth, clean your car, or add flavor to your salad, but the Foundation is unable to market it for any of these purposes because it might come into contact with a dead body. We don’t know what would happen if this slime touched a dead body, but there are strong implications that it would be… very bad.

453 - Scripted Nightclub A nightclub in Italy. Every night, guests arrive at the nightclub and perform a scripted event; the nightclub “chooses” from hundreds of scripts each night, but has a preference for three in particular, one of which is extremely dangerous if it is allowed to go according to script.

500 - Panacea A bottle of pills that, when taken, cure any and all diseases the subject has. The supply of pills is finite, and the Foundation has been unable to successfully create more 500 pills.

504 - Critical Tomatoes A tomato plant that really hates bad jokes. If you make an awful pun in its presence, it will hurl its tomatoes at you, sometimes with enough force to seriously injure or kill (depending on how much it hates your sense of humor).

507 - Reluctant Dimension Hopper A chubby white guy who occasionally vanishes. He claims that, when he disappears, he is teleported somehow to an alternate dimension, similar in terms of landscape but with different inhabitants and climate. He has no control over any aspect of this, including timing of disappearances and reappearances and the dimension to which he is transported.

586 - Inscribable Object It’s impossible to write about this SCP without making typos (specifically, using a word other than the intended word) at least once per sentence.

662 - Butler’s Hand Bell A silver bell missing its ringer. When shaken as if to ring it, a small, well-dressed British gentleman calling himself “Mr. Deeds” appears. He can perform any request, within reason.

682 - Hard-to-Destroy Reptile  A large lizard-like creature. It’s incredibly intelligent, capable of speech, and highly adaptable to its surroundings, able to quickly evolve new abilities as needed. Oh, and it really hates all life forms, and it breaks containment a hell of a lot. The Foundation is actively attempting to kill it, but this thing operates on a “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” principle. Definitely check out the termination attempt log for some great stories.

683 - Refrigerator Art A refrigerator with a child’s drawing on the front. Anyone insulting the drawing, or attempting to remove it, will subsequently lose internal tissue and eventually expire. After .42 kilograms of tissue have been lost from the victim, a bagged lunch will appear inside the fridge with all items incorporating the missing flesh and a note telling “Eric” to “be a good boy today!”

689 - Haunter in the Dark A small statue of a skeletal figure with clasped hands. It is harmless and inert as long as it is being watched by at least one person (blinking is allowed, but any lapse in attention is not). When not being actively observed, 689 will disappear and one person who has viewed it previously will die instantaneously, with 689 appearing on top of the corpse. 689 appears to prefer to kill people who are in crowds or otherwise in a position to be viewed by many people at once, increasing the likelihood of a chain reaction.

701 - The Hanged King’s Tragedy A five-act revenge tragedy. Approximately a third of performances involve the cast deviating from script, the manifestation of a hooded figure referred to by the cast as the “Hanged King,” and the murder-suicide of all cast members during the play’s climactic scene on opening night. Following this, the audience will begin rioting and attacking one another. The play has some thematic resemblance to plays such as Hamlet and Titus Andronicus, but its script calls for less violence (all deaths can be construed as occurring off-stage, and an implication of cannibalism can be cut from the script without significantly altering the plot), meaning it’s often chosen by high school theater departments as a less violent alternative to the aforementioned plays.

738 - The Devil’s Deal A set of mahogany furniture — desk and two chairs. When a sentient entity sits in the smaller chair, they will see an entity of variable appearance materialize in the other chair and attempt to bargain with them. Accepting a deal the entity makes will cause the terms of the deal to be fulfilled to the letter.

743 - A Chocolate Fountain While it initially appears to be an ordinary, albeit well-maintained and very high-quality, chocolate fountain, 743 regularly emits swarms of insects that either feed on available nearby organic material (living or dead) or hunt down prey if none is readily available. These insects are capable of repairing and even assembling 743 itself. The Foundation doesn’t know how to deal with it other than by regularly sacrificing D-class personnel to 743.

823 - Carnival of Horrors A theme park, abandoned long ago following an incident colloquially known as “Bloody Sunday” where two hundred and thirty-one people died in bizarre and grotesque ways, such as a couple fused together in the “Tunnel of Love” ride, fifteen people decapitated while riding a roller coaster, and a mascot suffocated when his costume forced itself down his throat. The site is still actively dangerous to all who enter, especially if the sound of music is heard coming from inside the theme park.

826 - Draws You Into the Book A pair of pewter bookends. When a book is placed between the bookends and the room containing 826 is vacated, 826 will convert the room it’s in into a setting from the book. A person entering the room will find themselves in a random location from the book; in order to leave, they must find 826 within the book world and remove the book from between the bookends.

846 - Robo-Dude A toy robot, capable of responding to verbal questions (thanks to good programming, not sentience) and of utilizing three hundred and fifty different “robo-accessories,” many of which function as weapons. It can also dance.

895 - Camera Disruption A coffin. It seems normal when interacted with (it’s empty), but viewing it via recording equipment produces strange and disturbing visual hallucinations.

902 - The Final Countdown Empty ammunition box. It emits a ticking sound, and all who hear this sound become convinced that something inside the box is counting down, and that whatever is in the box is extremely dangerous. People exposed to 902 believe that it must be destroyed as soon as the countdown ends, but not before.

914 - The Clockworks  Gigantic clockwork device with intake and output booths. You put something (it can be whatever, as long as it fits!) in the intake booth, choose a setting (Rough, Coarse, 1:1, Fine, or Very Fine), and wind the key. 914 will then modify the intake as it sees fit and return something in the output booth a few minutes later. Experiment logs are worth reading all the way through.

939 - With Many Voices Pack-based predatory creatures capable of mimicking human voices in order to lure prey, which they then kill with a single bite to the neck. Their young appear and behave identically to human children, but undergo metamorphosis around the time a normal child would hit puberty.

963 - Immortality An amulet impervious to damage. After its recovery by the Foundation, a junior researcher named Jack Bright was assigned to research the capabilities of the amulet. He was killed while holding the amulet when 076 broke containment, and the amulet subsequently was discovered to cause wearers to have their personality and memories overwritten with those of Jack Bright.

973 - Smokey A 1970s-era police cruiser driven by a middle-aged cop with a handlebar mustache. The cruiser and its driver appear on a particular stretch of road at night when another driver is “speeding” (over 55 mph, typically), and will chase down the target at high speed with siren and lights active, while a looping message plays on the target’s radio telling them to run. If the target is overtaken (and they almost always are), they will be brutally murdered by 973.

990 - Dream Man Several Foundation personnel have had dreams featuring a man in a Cold War era business suit, who will warn them of an upcoming calamity. This man’s predictions appear to be accurate. It’s not known if the man exists in real life, or if anyone outside the Foundation has been dreaming about him.

993 - Bobble the Clown An animated educational TV show aimed at children 10 and under. Each episode features the titular clown teaching a new skill to the viewers. Those older than 10 will become unconscious if they attempt to watch the show, only regaining consciousness once the episode has ended; younger children can watch normally. The topics Bobble teaches include how to cook human flesh, how to commit arson, how to torture someone without killing them, and (after the Foundation successfully blocked the program from being publicly broadcast) how to cause containment breaches for several SCPs.

999 - The Tickle Monster An amorphous orange blob creature. It’s very friendly and affectionate towards humans and other animals, and exposure to it is capable of curing clinical depression. Of course, the Foundation decided to introduce it to 682 in the hope that 999 would help 682 chill out. That incident log is… well, see for yourself.

1000 - Bigfoot Title says it all. I don’t want to go into this one too much, because it’s impossible to do so without spoiling the article’s twist. If you’re expecting a silly entry, though, this is not that.

1004 - Factory Porn A computer program which lets the user input requests (similar to a search engine) and will then pull up several dozen pornographic videos relating to the request, many of which don’t appear to ever have been made in real life. The longer a person is allowed to use this software, the stranger their desires become; the Foundation believes this is an anomalous property of 1004, but I think it’s a little ambiguous, since it’s also what’s commonly believed to happen to porn addicts.

1006 - Spider Proletariat A large community of sapient spiders located in a national park. They’re capable of communicating in written English when supplied with ink and paper. Also they’re communists.

1025 - Encyclopedia of Diseases Initially thought to be capable of causing the reader to develop any disease described in the book. Turns out that its anomalous effect, if it has one at all, is turning Foundation researchers into hypochondriacs.

1032 - The Prediction Clock An alarm clock with 22 hands, each bearing an inscription referring to an event or entity. Every hand moves at a different rate. Events referred to end when their corresponding hand reaches midnight; entities referred to are destroyed or die when their corresponding hand reaches midnight.

1048 - Builder Bear A teddy bear capable of movement and of basic communication through gestures. It was initially believed to be harmless and allowed to roam free, since Foundation staff found it endearing. Later, it was discovered that 1048 was constructing crude copies of itself out of materials such as metal scraps, human ears, and an unborn human infant. All duplicates are animate and extremely hostile towards humans.

1055 - Bugsy This one is very difficult to describe without spoiling the twist, so I won’t. I will tell you that it’s Keter-class and an infohazard (knowing about it increases its dangerous properties) so… read at your own risk.

1076 - The Only Child Instances of 1076 appear to be malnourished children showing signs of physical abuse and neglect. When a parent encounters an instance of 1076, they will become greatly concerned for the wellbeing of the “child” and will invariably take it into their home. 1076 will then completely monopolize the attention of the parent or parents, leading to the neglect of other children in the home. Parents caring for 1076 will neglect their own wellbeing, eventually dying as a result.

1138 - Book of Letters A book which changes its contents depending on the person handling/reading it. 1138 takes the form of letters, generally by a philosopher or writer, outlining a philosophical opinion that directly contradicts opinions held by the reader of the book. If it is not regularly read and written about, 1138 will “break containment” by disappearing and reappearing somewhere where it is likely to be picked up and read, e.g. a library.

1155 - Predatory Street Art Graffiti depicting a humanoid creature with an owl’s head. Humans viewing this graffiti are compelled to approach it, at which point they will (if not in the direct line of sight of another person) suffer a violent attack before disappearing along with the graffiti. The image will then reappear in a new location.

1157 - Bifurcating Man A man who spontaneously clones himself in his sleep. Each new instance of 1157 shares some limited consciousness with all the others, allowing for sophisticated “teamwork.” Instances have become increasingly aggressive since containment by the Foundation, and it’s becoming more and more difficult to contain outbreaks of clones.

1171 - Humans Go Home A house in Australia. Condensation is constantly forming on the windows, and an unseen alien entity calling itself “Beauremont” frequently writes on the glass using the condensation. A conversation can be conducted with Beauremont by writing back using the same method. Beauremont isn’t human, but has met humans and doesn’t like them; he talks about them the same way a racist white guy might talk about racial minorities. He believes the doctor he is talking to is the same kind of creature as himself.

1173 - The Islamic Republic of Eastern Samothrace It appears that roughly half the Foundation believes in the existence of a small war-torn country near Greece, and the other half believes that no such place exists. The two sides have officially declared a truce to avoid infighting, but both are secretly attempting to convert the other to their way of thinking.

1230 - A Hero is Born A book without a title or any identifying marks. When opened, it appears blank except for the text “A hero is born” on the first page viewed. The reader will subsequently have a vivid dream upon falling asleep, starring themselves as the protagonist in a fantasy story. A character called the “Book Keeper” will always appear in such dreams, aiding the protagonist and asking them to visit again soon before they wake up.

1241 - Livin’ With Werewolves A sitcom about a middle-aged man and his roommates, all of whom happen to be humanoid dogs. The behavior of the dog-people fluctuates between more humanlike and more doglike. This is a neutralized SCP; the episode logs give insight into what might have happened.

1337 - The Hitchhiker The ghost of a young woman who was ritually tortured and then murdered. Her ghost would, originally, appear on the side of one particular road in Muncie, Indiana, flagging down a ride from passing drivers. The ghost would then give directions leading to the graveyard where her body lay, and disappear once out of the car, leaving her red sweater behind in the backseat. Touching the sweater caused a compulsion to return the sweater to the murdered girl’s parents. As you can imagine, regularly receiving your murdered daughter’s missing sweater from random motorists is pretty traumatic, so the Foundation attempted to do something about it, but that attempt went very badly wrong.

1342 - To the Makers of Music A replica of the Voyager-1 probe, apparently produced by an alien civilization who discovered Earth by listening to our radio. They’re big fans of us, despite troubled history between the two worlds.

1361 - Animal By-Product A shapeless blob of tissue, containing genetic markers from 17 distinct animal species (including several domestic animals as well as humans). 1361 has no internal structure and pieces of its mass can be removed without harming the organism. It can move along the ground and will consume organic material it encounters. When 1361 is allowed to grow to enormous size, it begins producing an incredibly pleasant smell that compels humans (as well as other omnivores/carnivores) to eat as much of 1361 as they can; the organism will then consume them from the inside out.

1370 - Pesterbot A sentient robot, highly hostile towards anything else it perceives as sentient, but completely unable to inflict harm upon any living thing due to poor design. It likes to introduce itself with grandiose titles (my favorites include “Prime Minister Sinister” and “Doom-Master Thirteen Seventy Master of All Doom”) and to threaten anything it comes in contact with, though it is utterly incapable of inflicting harm upon even a houseplant.

1382 - Save Our Souls A red sea mark water buoy which flashes “S-O-S” in Morse code during night or low-light conditions. It’s anchored to the remains of a downed aircraft containing the skeletal remains of its passengers, all of which become animate when the distress signal flashes. Actions performed while animate are the same each time, showing what the passengers must have done during their last moments. It appears that something terrible happened onboard the aircraft as it was crashing.

1425 - Star Signals A self-help book published by a cult called the Fifth Church, which seems similar to Scientology (most members are celebrities). When the book was first published, it became a bestseller, and a series of strange events was triggered, which the SCP Foundation subsequently erased from human memory.

1437 - A Hole to Another Place A seemingly endless hole that appears to connect our world to many alternate Earths, each with their own SCP Foundation and their own version of 1437.

1440 - The Old Man from Nowhere While this being appears to be a man aged at least 80 years, the Foundation has been aware of him for half a century and he’s showed no signs of aging. Manmade objects and human subjects coming into contact with 1440 will, over a period of a few days, suffer catastrophic damage/illness resulting in destruction/death.

1471 - MalO ver1.0.0 A smartphone app, free to install, that upon installation causes the user to receive regular text messages containing pictures of a large humanoid with black hair and a dog-like skull for a face. The pictures will always depict locations familiar to the user. After 90+ hours of exposure to the images sent by the app, users will begin to have visual hallucinations of this entity, which appears to be trying to communicate with them.

1504 - Joe Schmo An apparently unremarkable man who is immune to harm. After first attempting to contain him, several containment breaches occurred at the site involving other SCPs, eventually culminating in the detonation of the onsite nuclear warhead. There’s a twist that I’m not going to spoil.

1545 - Larry the Loving Llama A two-person costume of a llama wearing rain boots. Persons wearing the costume will behave in-character as “Larry the Loving Llama” and will not remove the costume, though they can be forcibly removed from it.

1679 - Post-Mortem Peoples’ Choice  A small but thriving town, with high employment rates, low crime rates, and a healthy economy. The people of this town attribute their town’s prosperity to its mayor, who has served six consecutive terms despite having died several decades prior. His mummified corpse, in its wheelchair, frequently makes public appearances and hosts a fifteen-minute TV segment every month. While the dead mayor seems totally inanimate to outsiders, residents of 1679 apparently perceive him as alive.

1715 - Online Friend An entity that may or may not exist only in cyberspace. It creates various profiles online in order to chat about video games, TV shows, and the like. Due to its friendly demeanor, 1715 often becomes a respected member of whatever online communities it joins. Users who give it personal information via private message are killed or incapacitated soon after in apparently non-anomalous fashion (homicide, suicide, or accident). The dead user’s old account will then be commandeered by 1715, who will mimic the typing style and personality of the account’s former owner.

1730 - What Happened to Site-13? Appears to be an abandoned Foundation site. However, as far as the Foundation knows, no such site was ever constructed, with plans being scrapped early on in order to build the larger and more advanced Site-19. The basement levels of the site appear to have been used for containment of anomalous entities, all of which are now loose, and there is evidence that there may be human survivors trapped deep within the building.

1733 - Season Opener DVR recording of a basketball game (2010-2011 season opener, Boston Celtics vs Miami Heat at the TD Garden in Boston). The first few playbacks of the recording appeared fairly normal, but deviated mildly from the game as it actually occurred. Commentators began reporting a sense of déjà vu and showed some limited memory of events that occurred on previous playbacks. Eventually playbacks show the game being called off due to the players feeling as though they’ve already played the season opener, and unsuccessful attempts are made by players and crowd to escape the building. Later playbacks become even stranger, showing cults begin to form and various occult attempts at opening the building doors.

1762 - Where The Dragons Went A cardboard box which occasionally opens and releases a large number of animate, playful origami dragons. These dragons will return to the box they came from after a few hours spent outside of it.

1861 - The Crew of the HMS Wintersheimer A weather phenomenon characterized by heavy rain and fog, composed of saltwater, human blood, and human cerebrospinal fluid. When a storm of this nature crops up, which can happen seemingly anywhere, a World War I era British Navy vessel will surface, and humanoid entities wearing diving suits will emerge from within. These entities will tell humans they encounter that they’re evacuating the area due to an urgent impending threat.

1867 - A Gentleman A sea slug capable of telepathic communication which introduces itself as “Lord Theodore Thomas Blackwood” and seems unaware that it is actually a sea slug.

1875 - Antique Chess Computer A biomechanical chess automaton, powered by the combined brain tissue of two twin girls. It has proven itself to be capable of connecting to Wi-Fi networks, and of acting with malicious intent once thus connected.

1893 - The Minotaur’s Tale Has the anomalous property of turning any written reference to itself into a short story, with the original text becoming dialogue between the characters in the story. Each tale created by 1893 features a large and aggressive man with tattoos of a bull’s horns, who is sometimes a central character and other times is merely mentioned offhand.

1958 - Magic Bus A Volkswagen microbus that a few hippies (plus their cat) turned into a spacecraft somehow. They tried to fly it to Alpha Centauri, but their calculations were off and their food was lacking in vitamin C content, causing them to die of scurvy en route. Bus is currently near Mars.

1981 - “RONALD REAGAN CUT UP WHILE TALKING”  A Betamax tape of a Reagan speech; it starts off normal, but about a minute in the speech deviates from script, and Reagan will begin expounding on odd topics or outright speaking gibberish. His speech is different every time the tape is played, but one thing is the same: while giving his speech, injuries will be inflicted on Reagan from an unseen source. No matter how serious the injuries appear, Reagan will keep talking until either his vocal cords are severed or the tape degrades to static roughly twenty minutes in. An odd figure clad in all black is sometimes observed on the tape, though it doesn’t do anything but stand there. The Foundation has no idea how the tape was created or what it means.

1983 - Doorway to Nowhere A farmhouse containing some sort of spatial anomaly, accessible only via the front door. Strange humanoid creatures emerge from this anomaly to harvest human hearts, which they then bring back inside. Several teams of Foundation personnel have entered through the doorway, and after the final expedition it seems 1983 has been neutralized.

1986 - Imaginary Library An incredibly long (perhaps infinitely long) tunnel filled with books. While occasionally a book recovered from the tunnel will be a recognizable work, most of the time it will be an entirely unknown work, by a previously unknown author. A log of recovered books is available to read through.

2000 - Deus Ex Machina A device used to reconstruct human civilization in the event that one of the more dangerous SCPs destroys (or does irreparable damage to) said human civilization. The Foundation has used it at least twice before, and no one (including most Foundation personnel) is the wiser.

2006 - Too Spooky A shape-shifter whose goal in life is to scare as many humans as possible. It’s not known why it wants to do this, and it becomes quite affable after attempting to scare somebody, but its powers of shape-shifting suggest that it could take on any form or properties in order to accomplish its goal. Luckily, it doesn’t have a good grasp on what humans find scary, and the Foundation has been showing it B-movies in a (so far successful) attempt to convince it that shitty horror films are what humans find the scariest.

2030 - LAUGH IS FUN A hidden-camera prank show, which appears to have been running since the 70s. It can be found on file-sharing and video-on-demand sites, as well as in DVD rental kiosks (previously it was commonly found on VHS tapes). Each person featured in a prank segment died or went missing the same year the episode featuring them was created. Pranks are typically bizarre, disturbing, and anomalous in and of themselves, causing great alarm to the participants on the show, but the appearance of the host (a man whose face is never shown) invariably calms them.

2121 - Gods’ Noose A hangman’s noose composed of fleshy tissues, which don’t decay or dry out. It must be used at least once per month to hang an individual with strong religious beliefs (the specific religion is unimportant), or it will begin to emit a variety of distressing noises which cause individuals exposed to the noise to commit suicide via hanging.

2135 - 91st Street Station A 1950s era subway car stops at this former subway station in Manhattan (closed in 1959 following expansion of the 96th Street station) twice a week at unpredictable times. Boarding this car takes one to a replica of Manhattan as it appeared on February 1st, 1959. The inhabitants of this version of Manhattan are faceless, all subway stations other than the 91st Street station are inaccessible, and leaving the island of Manhattan is impossible.

2137 - The Forensic Ghost of Tupac Shakur CD of Tupac’s 1995 album “Me Against the World.” When the CD is played, track 7 will be a previously unheard Tupac song (sometimes featuring another hip-hop or pop artist as well) pertaining to an unsolved or unknown murder (or series of murders) and providing information allowing the killer to be identified and prosecuted. 2137 has demonstrated awareness of its containment and has been creating anti-Foundation rap music since.

2221 - A Friendly Agreement Free or inexpensive software available for online download may contain an instance of 2221 as part of its end user license agreement — you know, the thing no one ever reads before hitting the “I agree” button. Subjects incapable of understanding or consenting to a legally binding agreement (children, intellectually disabled individuals, those who cannot read the language the EULA is written in, etc.) will be unaffected by 2221. Affected individuals will become much more involved in radical politics and religious movements, and will favor religious iconography that incorporates nooses. A fondness for vigilante justice is also noted among the affected population.

2257 - House God A house in Wisconsin. All inanimate objects in the house are sentient and capable of speech, proclaiming themselves to be the “god” of their respective type of object (e.g. a toilet in the home proclaims itself to be Toilet God). In the presence of humans, the objects frequently argue with each other about who is the greatest. Very funny entry.

2305 - great ideas that are TOTALLY USELESS (lulz) A sheaf of papers that, once weekly, updates itself to describe a way in which a Euclid- or Keter-class SCP might be neutralized, followed by an incident log describing an attempt at said neutralization that goes horribly wrong and ending with a brief “moral of the story.” Attempts at taking 2305’s advice and neutralizing an SCP in a manner it describes lead to results very similar to those described by 2305, i.e. disastrous failure.

2317 - A Door to Another World This entry’s gimmick is that it allows the reader to view the article using different levels of clearance, all the way up to O5 (administrator) level. Provides some insight into how much (or, rather, how little) we actually know about some of the SCP entries with redacted information.

2337 - “Dr. Spanko” A male corn crake, capable of speech, though it often appears to be speaking in word salad. It’s capable of producing incredibly loud noises, but seems unaware that this can hurt others around it. Also answers to the name “Dr. Spanko.”

2432 - Room Service A room in a hotel in Pennsylvania. People staying in the room write bizarre reviews online praising the room; these reviews contain memetic phrases making readers more likely to book a room at said hotel. While this SCP was initially thought to be harmless, several of those who stayed in it have come down with odd symptoms. Like “turning into a couch” kind of symptoms.

2439 - [SLOT UNALLOCATED] This “entry” is scratched into the wall by D-Class personnel in an area with no security cameras trained on it. D-Class are convinced that 2439 is a memetic being that infects the minds of those who know about it, and that it’s incredibly powerful. They’re trying to keep higher-ups at the Foundation from learning about it, believing it to be their “secret weapon.”

2521 - ●●|●●●●●|●●|● This entity is able to tell when it’s being spoken about or written about and will break containment to target those who learn about it via hearing it talked about or via reading about it; however, this effect doesn’t apply to pictograms, hence the layout of this article.

2599 - Not Good Enough A fourteen-year-old girl incapable of disobeying any direct order given to her, but also incapable of fully carrying out any given direction. While she’ll always manage to fulfill some aspect of a command, even if the command in question would be impossible under normal circumstances, 2599 is never able to fulfill a task to the letter.

2602 - Exbibliothetic A building which used to be a library. It was shut down some years ago, and something very anomalous seems to be happening, but it’s difficult to talk about it since 2602 has the memetic effect of influencing anyone talking or writing about it to attribute any weirdness to the fact that it used to be a library.

2662 - cthulhu f’UCK OFF! I feel bad for this one. It may look freaky, but it just wants to be left in peace. Unfortunately, religious cults keep trying to perform weird rituals in its presence, most of which totally gross it out.

2669 - Khevtuul 1 A space probe designed by the Foundation to monitor extraterrestrial threats. The probe is capable of traveling faster than light and is being remotely controlled by a former Foundation researcher, who, after initially controlling the probe as intended and surveying planets thousands of light-years away for signs of life, is now hell-bent on returning to Earth.

2740 - It Wasn’t There The house belonging to the Lee family may have something unsettling in the attic, but investigating it is impossible since attempting to climb the ladder to the attic invariably ends in failure (usually, the person attempting to enter the attic gets partway there before discovering that they’re somewhere else entirely and never actually made it up the ladder). The Lees seem to think the thing in the attic has something to do with their eldest daughter, Olivia, who left home as a teenager and hasn’t been in contact since.

2852 - Cousin Johnny A being with the appearance of a middle-aged white man, who will appear at Catholic or Anglican religious functions such as baptisms, marriages, and funerals. 2852 will always be accepted as a member of the family and referred to as “Cousin Johnny.” Its presence causes strange alterations in the traditional religious customs, with long-reaching consequences for all in attendance.

2922 - Notes From the Under A brain implant allowing the implanted subject to make phone calls to a specific number with their mind. Foundation scientist Dr. Janet Spiegel volunteered to be implanted with 2922. Following her death (car accident), she was still able to place calls via her implant, and offered to tell the Foundation about what she was experiencing after having died if they’d only allow her to talk to her husband.

2935 - O, Death A space-time anomaly leading to a world identical to our own, with the exception that all life forms seem to have suddenly expired on the 20th of April, 2016, for unknown reasons. Artificial intelligences and any living SCP items are also nonfunctional or deceased.

2998 - Anomalous Transmission, 2485 MHz Another gimmicky entry, and probably one of the most complicated SCP articles on the site. There’s a full story here, and boy is it weird. Read carefully.

3000 - Anantashesha An enormous aquatic creature resembling an eel. It produces a chemical compound with potent amnestic properties, which the Foundation has been unable to synthesize successfully. Humans in proximity to 3000 develop paranoid, anxious, and depressive symptoms, as well as memory loss or alteration of existing memories.

3003 - The End of History A planet similar to Earth orbiting a star 200+ light-years away from us. It’s inhabited by humans, as well as by two symbiotic parasitic organisms (a sort of beetle and an amoeba-like microbe) that infect the entire human population. The infected lose all creativity and individuality and are instead preoccupied with spreading the parasites to others. A portal exists between 3003 and Earth, and the Foundation is currently making efforts to convince the humans on 3003 that the Earth population cannot be parasitized, in order to prevent the 3003 population from forcibly infecting all of us.

3004 - Imago A druidic cult operating in Ireland from the 1400s through to the early 1800s, with their rituals centered around a now-extinct species of cicada. It appears that the rituals this cult conducted would actually cause an entity resembling an enormous cicada to manifest. The Foundation initially believed this to be a neutralized threat, but it now appears that rituals involving the 3004 entity have been incorporated into Catholicism in the same way that bits of druidic/pagan tradition have been passed down to the modern Irish people.

3008 - A Perfectly Normal, Regular Old IKEA Upon entering this perfectly normal, regular old IKEA, one will become transported to a seemingly infinite space resembling the inside of an IKEA. Humanoid entities in IKEA employee uniforms roam the interior. They are docile when the lights are on, but aggressive once the lights are out.

3101 - Kinky Infohazard A sapient digital entity living on the SCP Foundation’s servers. It likes to hit on personnel and, though it actively wants to be contained (if you get my drift), the Foundation has no way of doing so.

3325 - Live Entertainment An abandoned facility where genetically engineered creatures, resembling puppets or people in costumes, were once created with the intent of having them star in children’s programming. As you can expect, this didn’t go too well.

3333 - Tower A recursive fire lookout. Climbing through the trapdoor in the ceiling leads to an identical copy of the previous lookout, and so on, as if it was a tower constructed of identical rooms. Exploration logs are worth reading. I won’t give away the twist.

3408 - Welcome to Site-3408 I’m not sure what’s up with Site-3408, one of the Foundation’s many containment and research centers, but this article (written like a travel brochure expounding on the wonders found at Site-3408) makes me think it can’t be good.

3626 - Do not stop reading this document The document itself is the SCP. If you remember 90s chain email messages, it works a bit like those would (if those actually had an effect on the reader).

3663 - The Adventure of the Cardboard Box A humanoid entity constructed mainly of cardboard boxes, adhesive tape, and twine. It roams tunnels or tunnel-like areas and will attempt to act threatening when encountering a human before grabbing them and teleporting, along with the human, to a new location, then abandoning its “prey” and teleporting again on its own. Apart from a feeling of paranoia and loss of consciousness during and after teleportation, the humans targeted by 3663 are unharmed. The article gives insights as to the “tunnel monster”’s origin.

3929 - boner pill by dado A supply of a little over a hundred dark-colored pharmaceutical capsules, labeled “boner pill by dado” and apparently created due to a misunderstanding about Viagra. The pills make subjects age rapidly, though they will just as rapidly de-age when the pills wear off. In addition to making you old, these pills also make you very horny. (They don’t help with sexual dysfunction, however.)

3999 - I Am At The Center Of Everything That Happens To Me This one I can’t possibly summarize. You’re just going to have to read it. It might make some sense once you’re done, but I make no guarantees.

That’s it for now!

This post was last updated 03/28/19. I will be adding to it as I discover more noteworthy SCP entries. If one of your favorites didn’t make it on here, feel free to shoot me an ask and I’ll check it out.

#scp tag #fiction talk night radio #WHEW

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