#This backside is a life-ruiner

[waveofahand]

On Paul “going commando”

There are a number of photographs of Paul McCartney that prove not only did the boy like his inseams high and tight but that he also went without drawers quite a lot. Possibly, this is because he wore his pants so tight there was no room for them, but I’ve often thought, well, that’s not terribly sanitary or thoughtful to the wardrobe people. Still. It really does look to me like the only time he dependably wore underwear was when filming movies. Probably was forced to. 

I’m going to share several pics that bear out my thinking but this one first. Because it surprised me. This is 1965, as they were getting into their suits for the Shea Stadium concert. One of the Beatles must held up a camera -- knowing Paul’s proclivities -- and dared him to disrobe for it. Paul seems to dare them right back. “Go ahead, take the pic, I dare ya!” A game of chicken, so to speak.

At first glance, one thinks he’s unzipped and showing off his tighty whitey. But... on closer inspection, one sees that... oh... something has been WHITED OUT in that picture! You can confirm it because part of his middle fingertip is also under the white. 

Just look UNDER the white smears (which are NOT fabric, but drawn in). You can see the human flesh beneath. 

And there you have it. Whoever dared him, got the full frontal treatment. Paul McCartney clearly had no insecurities about his manhood. A few more “commando” shots where we see no indication of a brief line -- or that there was room for underpants: 

The jury is out o this one. There MIGHT be a faint pantyline... maybe.

Jury is also out on this one. I think he’s commando. Thoughts? 

FINALLY! A CLEAR PANTY LINE! And it looks like they needed to add a side panel to fit it! 

Ridiculous, beautiful, nasty commando boy. I know people call him “the most baby of all times” (and I think that’s probably right) but some others call him a “slut” and... well... I’m going to just say he’s a man comfortable in his own skin, probably promiscuous, who liked to get himself teased a little with his own frictions throughout the day.  One more for posterity. Or... posteriority! 

[spinchip]

NEVER THE DARK

chapter 2

Read on AO3

Prologue - Chapter 1

Warning: canon typical violence, grief

TASTE THE SALT OF FRIENDSHIP// NOTICE THE MOVEMENT OF A STRANGER// HOLD YOUR OWN

Jay is not new to the life of a ninja. In fact, he would even call himself a veteran (especially at the coffee shop next to the arcade, where he took full advantage of the ninja discount,) and as such, he knows that there’s a rule about being a ninja. A universal truth that simply states this: It will always get worse before it gets better.

What happened with Pythor? They failed, and he awakened the great devourer. Giant mythical world eating snake, ring any bells? Unable to stop one measly normal sized snake, they couldn’t win until they had to stop a massive apocalyptic ruiner. (Well, Garmadon had defeated him, but the ninja definitely helped!) And then there’s The Overlord, Who they had to kill twice, if he’s even really dead… Then Chen, who managed to succeed in turning his whole cult into snakes because the ninja failed to stop him when he was a human… Next is Morro and right after him the time twins, all of their plans fully realized until the ninja managed to save the day in the knick of time. Don’t even get him started on the whole Sons of Garmadon and Harumi disaster. The point is, they’ve never managed to stop the newest villain's evil scheme before it snowballs out of control and becomes nearly ten times harder to win.

They’ve unintentionally lived by this creed since Jay first stepped foot in the monastery courtyard. Instead of analyzing the current playing field and structuring a plan around that, they should all hunker down and think of the worst possible outcome and then go off that. Which is why it always baffles Jay how it surprises him every time. At this point, he should just tattoo Murphy’s law to the backside of his eyelids so he remembers the most important rule of being Ninjagos greatest heroes.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Why he pulled on his ninja suit expecting that tonight of all nights would be the moment they broke the cycle is a mystery to him. Maybe it’s a good thing the ninja lifestyle hadn’t stolen all his naivety? He should be touched that he’s still innocent, right? Something like that.

He’ll be honest with himself. Jay let his guard down just a teensy, tiny, itty-bitty bit. When they started their patrol less than 24 hours after Kai chased off the thief, he wasn’t as on edge as he could have been. He didn’t meticulously check the dark corners, or make sure the windows were properly latched, or carefully examine the room of creepy wax figures for a possible not-so-wax interloper. Nobody was there, anyway. He was antsy to get home, as were Nya and Kai, so when the clock struck midnight and the time to swap out came they were already standing outside the front doors as Cole and Lloyd pulled up.

The chances of the thief coming back the following night were just to the right of nonexistent. A few nights for the previous encounter to simmer down was expected. Jumping back into the museum so soon after almost being caught would have been a stupid, foolish mistake on her behalf. The woman from last night was inexperienced, but even the most clueless of thieves would know not to try for two nights in a row. It was common sense! A courtesy, even. That’s the way things were supposed to go.

“How’s it going?” Cole asks, stifling a yawn as he walks up.

“You’re in for another slow night.”

Lloyd groans, “Not again. I almost wish something would happen.” He jokes.

Coles communicator make a loud, shrill series of beeps. They’re completely unprepared for Wu’s phone call, the emergency alarm tone ends the conversation as Cole scrambles to answer it, getting his finger on the button to hear Wu’s urgent voice, “Left wing, coming out of the storage area,” He relays quickly, “She’s back!”

“Me and my big mouth.” Lloyd facepalms before shooting to the front of the group and leading them inside.

Jay's heart rate jacks up in anticipation and Lloyd breaks into a run, “Come on!” He calls, throwing open the doors. They fall into line behind him, sprinting through the clean and cozy halls. It wasn’t surprising Kai had lost the thief the night before- Krux had designed the museum, and it was all so purposefully confusing that it would be easy to lose someone if you guessed the right turns to make. It was like a massive maze. They pass by cursed paintings, ancient swords and racks of armor, fragile and crumbling scrolls of times long past, and a great deal of magical artifacts graciously donated (forced to surrender) by the Explorers Club that are clearly untouched. The Museum's alarm system would have told them if any exhibit had been disturbed, and Wu had said the woman was coming out of a storage closet. Hopefully they caught her before she got her hands on anything dangerous, since she didn’t have time to hunt down something like the Scroll of Forbidden Spinjitzu by this point. They finally emerge into a large grand hall. Old bones of long dead beasts are carefully strung up, put together with the utmost attention to detail to make large hulking goliaths stood around the room. Information stands decorate the room, happily informing the night air of the Dromaeosaurid Theropod Grundalicus intricate mating dances. On the other side of the hall is a door painted the same color as the wall with a white sign that says STORAGE. EMPLOYEES ONLY- but the woman closing the door behind her very clearly doesn’t work here.

“Hey!” Kai snaps as they come to a stop, the ninja fanning out in a semicircle across the hall in case she tries to flee. Slowly, they close in one her one step at a time.

She turns around and- well- she’s… not the same thief as before. She’s got tan skin and an angular face and short cut hair dyed hot pink that’s faded from a few washes. Jay tries to take it all in at once. He analyzes her every detail: A button up shirt several sizes too big, black on one side and stripped on the other, gray shorts, hot pink flip-flops that aren’t quite as vibrant as her scalp. She smiles lazily, black lipstick quirking to her left as a horizontal scar on the corner of her mouth pulls taut. She’s completely unconcerned with her predicament. Dangling from her left hand is a plastic grocery bag sagging with the spoils of her thievery.

“The ninja,” She says, sweeping her mismatched bluebrown eyes over them, “What an honor.” She doesn't sound a bit sincere, her eyes half lidded and tone bored and flat.

Jay blinks, “Who the heck are you?” He asks point blank. They know every major criminal in Ninjago! Sometimes personally! So this had to be another rookie, right? A team of two randos had actually managed to get a step ahead of them?

“I’m sorry, I don’t have much time to chat.” She sighs, not sounding sorry at all. She turns and starts walking over to a window, casually ignoring them. The echo of her flip flops slapping disrespectfully on the linoleum is the only sound in the room.

“Uh. excuse me?” Cole says politely, stepping forward. She hums in response, prompting Cole to continue, “We're not going to let you just leave with… whatever you stole.”

She doesn’t miss a beat, “You don’t really have a choice. You won't be able to stop me.” Her tone isn’t cocky or arrogant, she just delivered the statements as facts. Simple confidence. She’s well aware of her disadvantage but she doesn’t break stride, she’s not even a little bit bothered by their presence. If anything, she's making Jay nervous. She feels… dangerous.

“Oh really?” Kai reaches for his swords, “You said it yourself, lady, we’re the ninja. I think we can handle you.”

She stops walking, turning her head to scrutinize him with a bored expression on her face, “Maybe you could have, once.” she says frankly, and then she sighs, “It’s been three years, and your team hasn’t recovered yet. You’re not a threat anymore. I’m going to walk out of here with this-” She holds up the bag for a moment before dropping it back to her side, “-and the only thing you get to decide is if we’re doing this the easy way or the hard way.”

The air grows thick with tension, nobody moves.

“If you want my honest opinion,” She says almost gently, “Take the money the city owes you for all you’ve done and enjoy an early retirement. You can’t function a head short, It’s time to give up.”

Zane. Jay's chest constricts painfully, and before he can convince his lungs to take a deep breath the room’s temperature rises by several degrees. Kai's fury tastes like sulfur on the roof of Jay's mouth, hot and burning and rotten. The sounds of his swords unsheathing scrapes violently in the silence of the museum, “Fuck you.” Kai spits, and before the others can say anything he lunges directly for her. In the dark of the empty hall, his swords catch and seem to glow with moonlight, glinting deadly sharp.

For one horrible moment, it looks like Kai’s swords are going to aim true and skewer her. She steps to the side at the last second and Kai’s swing goes wide, missing her and causing him to stumble. She twists, plants her feet before turning back and delivering a textbook perfect hook kick and- crack-! Her heel connects with the back of Kai's head and sends him sprawling to the ground in an undignified heap. His swords clatter to the floor and go sliding across the room as he fails to catch himself. She steps away from him, standing confident and flat footed before looking at the rest of them, clearly waiting to see what they’d do.

It happened in the blink of an eye, so fast Jay nearly couldn’t keep up. She dodged Kai's attack. She’d dodged Kai’s attack-! That just- it didn’t happen. And she didn't seem scared or worried at all- still with that flat, bored expression. Like they were a minor nuisance.

Kai groans, “I… still hate you… but great form.” He grunts from the floor.

Her lips quirk into an involuntary smile before she looks back to the remaining ninja, “I’m assuming this means resolving this peacefully is out of the question?”

Nya growls, stepping forward and putting her fists up. Water gathers around her fists in tiny droplets, “Not out of the question, as long as you’re the one to surrender.” Her voice nearly trembles with rage, her eyes flicking to Kai as he brings himself to his hands and knees, shaking his head to clear the spots from his vision.

The woman shrugs, “I’m not going to.” And just like that the fight is on.

Nya breaks formation next and the others follow her, rushing the woman. She dodges each of their swings easily, weaving between them seamlessly. She seems to find and take advantage of every gap in their offense, and Jay can see her eyes flickering around them as she works out the perfect escape route. Jay realizes with a start that she’s not swinging back- not really. Physically, she can’t take them. The kick was a lucky shot and she only put him down because of how perfect the set-up was. If Cole were to land a blow- hell, any of them- they’d stop her in her track. If only she weren’t so. Damn. Elusive.

Cole swings his fist at her face and she plants her feet, raises her hands, and catches his fist mid-air. It takes both hands and all her strength to stop the blow but she does. It happens too fast for Jay to warn Cole- now that she has him, she’s set up another finishing move. She steps forward, throwing one arm over his shoulder and uses the other to push his fist down. She swings her leg around his, hooking the back of his knee and twisting just enough to knock his feet out from under him.

He falls directly to the floor, unable to counter it in time. Cole is not exactly a small man- how the mystery woman managed to execute that drop while being dramatically shorter than him he’ll never know- and when he falls he falls hard. He smacks into the ground gracelessly and lets out a stuttering wheeze, the air brutally knocked from his lungs. She releases him just in time to duck Lloyds arms attempting to bear-hug neutralize her and he trips over Cole, face-planting on the floor next to him.

Cole's rolls over and pushes Lloyds solid frame off his belly, “Can’t breathe!” He gasps out, still struggling to catch his breath. Lloyd presses the sleeve of his gi to his nose, his expression relieved when he pulls back to see no blood.

Jay goes to Cole’s side, helping him sit up. He looks up to see Kais rejoined the fight. His swords are forgotten and he's fighting with his fists, and again the woman seems to easily be dodging their uncoordinated attacks. Nya and Kai, as siblings, are the most naturally synchronized of the team and Jay can tell she’s putting more effort into dodging them than she was before. Lloyd and Cole follow Jay to their feet, preparing to jump back in. Kai gets a lucky swing in and clips her shoulder, and her expression goes from bored to mildly annoyed. She leaps to the side, transitioning into a roll to gain some distance. She takes half a second to gather her bearings as they all race towards her, narrowed eyes taking it all in. She breaks into a sprint, coming right towards them-!

And she runs right between Cole and Kai.

There had been a gap in their formation. Jays heart constricts again, and Kai and Cole stumble as if suddenly reminded they were missing a limb. Nya recovers the quickest, turning on a dime to chase after her. She pulls out a handful of throwing stars and flings them at the cables holding up the grundle bones- they come crashing down right in front of the woman, who skids to a halt. They’re blocking the path to the doorway out, and she won’t be fast enough to climb over them before Nya closes in on her. Whipping around to face Nya, she readies for a fight.

The bones don’t stop at the door- they crash backwards as well, spilling across the floor and separating Nya from the boys, leaving her and the thief circling each other in the arena of fossils.

“Not so tough now, are you?” Nya grins, the two of them keeping their distance. Nya walks carefully in a circle until she’s blocking the exit and the woman's back is to the boys, who are climbing over the mess to get to them. Perfect! She’s trapped!

She does that involuntary smile again, waiting until Nya is directly in front of the doorway before charging her. Putting her fists up, Nya waits for her to come to her. The woman bends as if she’s going to tackle her and Nya responds in kind, ducking down and widening her stance, stabilizing her form.

And then the woman leaps up into the air. It’s so surprising Nya doesn’t know how to react, looking up at her in shock before realizing she’s aimed directly for her. Before she can raise her arms in defense, the thief’s sandal comes down directly on her face. Using her forehead as a springboard, the woman flips off her head and across the room clear of the bones and debris.

She lands on her feet with the barest stumble before turning around and offering them a small salute.

Then she takes off down the hall.

Nya crashes into the bone pile, the force of the blow sending her sprawling. She groans as the boys finally manage to get past their obstacles, running over to her to check her over.

“I’m fine,” She grumbles as Lloyd helps her stand, her hair flies left and right as she shakes the blow off, “Just a bruised ego.”

“You got a little…” Jay gestures to his face.

Nya glaces at her reflection in a glass display case. Stamped across her expression is a perfectly preserved shoe print. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” She  grunts, scrubbing her face with her sleeve until the mark is gone.

“Come on, guys.” Lloyd calls firmly from where the other three have cleared the bones out of the pathway, “We gotta go after her!”

“No arguments from me,” Nya says, cracking her knuckles before they all race down the hall after her.

Despite her lead, she hasn’t gotten far. Jay nearly thanks Krux in his head for the absolute nightmare of the museum's architecture, which is finally working in their favor. He could thank the mystery woman too, she made herself an easy target to track. All it takes is following the sounds of flip flops slapping.

Still, Jay has a bad feeling about all this.

[larryfanfiction]

Boxer! AU

👊 Box of Rain by indierection (amandamoraisa) (26k)

Louis is definitely not the next Muhammad Ali, just an illegal boxer with no prospects for the future. Harry is a hippie Uni student that in his free time informally works as a ring boy. Somehow he manages to always get tangled on the ropes and at the same time charm the pants off of all the fighters and patrons. They meet in Manchester in 1977 and, even though they don’t seem to have much in common, they… Well, they just sort of click, really.

-

The one with a friendship ruiner game of Monopoly, Harry always ending up in jail for wanting to save the world, Louis face to face with his archenemy and way too many references to 70s music.

Also staring Zayn as a brooding anarchist punk rocker, Liam as the nerdiest and nicest boxer in all Britain and Niall as a bookmarker that can easily convince people to bet fortunes, but can’t make his friends realise their mutual crush on each other.

👊 Small Doses (Loving You It’s Explosive) by QuickedWeen (38k)

Louis Tomlinson finds himself at Vitality Fitness to try and turn his life around after having left his cheating boyfriend of four years. The gym’s owner, Liam, quickly becomes a good friend, but his right hand man is rude and dismissive from the get-go. Louis and Harry continue to clash all while Harry is trying to move his way up the ranks in Manchester’s amateur boxing circuit, but they can’t seem to stay away from each other.

👊 The Blood of Words by MediaWhore (24k - WIP)

Louis Tomlinson hasn’t sworn off relationships per se. He just doesn’t think he’s quite ready for one yet, despite his therapist’s encouragements. He’s comfortable in his position as editor for Styles Publishing and he’s happy to focus on his career while he gives himself more time to heal.

Enter his CEO’s brother, a boxer with a heart of gold who is determined to carve himself a space in Louis’ life and, more importantly, his heart.

👊 Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart by Conscious_ramblings (19k)

Louis and Harry had been childhood best friends, but had been separated by evacuation as the city they grew up in was destroyed around them. Now, twelve years later, they are both back in London, and through chance they meet again. In a time when you can’t admit to being gay, for fear of arrest, admitting to your best friend that you love them seems like an insurmountable obstacle.

Featuring boxer Harry and mechanic Louis, much pining, and a lot of post war Britain

👊 i can’t help myself from how my heart is racing by flicker_album (13k)

Louis is just trying to be a good friend by working out at the gym that Liam owns. He never expected to (quite literally) run into Harry, the hot boxer who sings embarrassing songs in the locker room showers.

👊 The Battle is Now (my eyes are closed) by harrytomlinsun (10k)

Harry has a big imagination. You need one when you write your own songs, and he kind of wants to write a whole album dedicated to Louis, from the way he moves, to the thin layer of sweat that covers his golden skin and the determination that settles in his eyes. Louis makes him think of a lion cub most times, with his feathery hair, puffed chest and tiny frame. But right now he looks more like the Lion King. Harry feels as if he should get on his knees for him – for several different reasons.

Or, Harry is a struggling artist with some regrets and Louis is a street fighter with rage problems. There is a lot of dark alleys involved.

👊 The Boxer by benniejets (11k)

Harry never really did anything crazy. She lived with her father, who owned one of the best gyms in West London, with some of best looking people; female and male. She always ran her father’s errands when she wasn’t study; including bringing him his mail. When she had walked into the gym on an average Thursday, she spotted a new girl in the gym who nearly made her stop breathing.

👊 Strength in Softness by larrymylove (16k)

“As soon as he saw Harry’s picture, he froze. It was a picture of Harry practicing his boxing, heavy black gloves covering his fists as he punched at a bag hanging from the ceiling. His face was focused and he looked like an absolute beast. Louis reached out and touched the picture with his finger, consistently amazed by the duality of Harry. As he started at the picture, he wondered if Harry had pink nail varnish on his toes when it was taken, and what other tattoos and secrets he had buried underneath his workout gear and hard expression.”

Or, the one in which Harry is a boxer/trainer, and teaches Louis that there can be, and is, strength in softness.

👊 It Couldn’t Hurt by caballero78 (28k)

When his past comes to bite him on the backside, Louis Tomlinson isn’t going to go down easy. He’s stubborn, competitive and wonderfully uptight enough to deflect anyone coming in and overthrowing everything he’s been working towards for the past five years. He will fight dirty.

It’s not until he pushes a little too far does he realise he’s met his match.

👊 Fight For Me by Mie1412 (101k)

“So, we’re friends?” Louis asked timidly, his blue eyes looking up at Harry through his lashes, Harry’s chest suddenly feeling all weird.

Fuck everything. His life really was one big mess at the moment but maybe he should just go with the flow and see what happens. Couldn’t get any crazier than it already has been anyway.

“Yeah… we’re friends.”

[Or the one where Harry’s an underground boxer, Louis’ the prize and now Harry has to fight to protect him]

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