#This different direction would also fit real well in a less US military focused writing direction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

timeisacephalopod · 6 years

Note

AU-College. Tony/?. Tony already 17 and working on yet another doctorate has just returned from home after a school break. He's covered in bruises but he doesn't bother to hide them because he honestly believes no one notices or cares. Always on edge and doing anything and everything to forget the pain, Tony is confused when people he doesn't even know start to ask if he's okay and if he needs any help. Laughing in their face he replied. "You can't help, no one can." (I feel dark today sry?)

So I went with Tony/ Eddie Brock (from Venom if you don’t know). Eddie is an investigative journalist (or in this case he’s in school to be one) and tbh I have no freaking clue how journalism school works (journalism school?) so I’ve sort of made it work like humanities courses? Idk, just accept my bad plot needs bois. Also I altered the ‘you can’t help’ line to better fit the scenario, but the sentiment is the same.

As the prompt suggests, warning abuse references.

Eddie needs a story and since his asshole prof likes corporations a lot more than he does that’s out. Which throws a bunch of stuff in his usual wheelhouse out with it. He thought homelessness was a good topic but got told that wasn’t news, which he doesn’t understand because to his knowledge homelessness isn’t solved. Then he thought hey, school shootings happen basically every other day- they like to say if it bleeds it leads and a whole lot of kids seem to be dying. But he got told the news is already oversaturated with that. So he thought fine, maybe police brutality, that’s violent and not on the news much but he got told that was too controversial and what the fuck is the news for if not to be controversial?

Now he’s stuck with the task of finding a story his irritatingly picky prof will like and to add insult to the injury one of his classmates got approved to write about cryptocurrency. What the fuck is that? Stupid, in Eddie’s opinion. His topics were important, real world issues and this dumbass over here gets to write shit about something no one cares about. Predictable.

He’s eating his muffin angrily and wondering if he can somehow convince his prof to let him write something about climate change and the fact that no matter what an individual does, its still 100 companies doing seventy percent of the damage so why is the news focusing on individuals over corporations when he spots a potentially easier sell. Boy genius, way ahead of his time, and well loved by the American public. He has no interest in Tony Stark whatsoever but there has to be a story there, something underneath that irritatingly arrogant rich kid veneer that’s worth writing about so he decides to make a move.

Tony hates waking up before noon on any given day, assuming he went to bed at all, and dealing with people? He doesn’t like that at any time of day so when he’s minding his own damn business only to have some random guy with porn star lips- he swears to god that’s the only accurate description- he’s already annoyed. “Who the hell are you? Never mind, I don’t actually care,” he says in an irritable tone before going to turn back around but the guy takes his brief interruption to his day in a totally different direction than Tony was expecting.

“Nice shiner, where’d you get that?” he asks and Tony freezes for a moment, used to that fleeting feeling that someone might guess at the truth before realizing no one cares anyways.

He rolls his eyes, “you wouldn’t care if I told you, and even if you did its not like there’s anything you could do about it. Or anyone else, for that matter.” Its not like he’s never said anything and not one time has anything come of it. Sometimes people laugh, actually, and Tony doesn’t know what’s worse. People not hearing him at all or people hearing just fine, but they make a joke out of it. Silence isn’t his thing, but he’s developed a thick skin in regards to how people treat him. Doesn’t have much of a choice, living under his father’s roof and in the public eye. Its amazing, Tony thinks, how fucking obvious his abuse is and no one seems to see what’s in front of their damn faces.

Something about his words seem to draw his companion’s attention though and Tony recognizes the look. “Are you a reporter?” he asks and the guy looks surprised for a half a second.

“Good instinct- but technically I’m still in school,” he says like Tony fucking cares about that.

“Yeah, fuck off,” he says bluntly. He’s got no time for another asshole looking to capitalize off the Tony Stark Story when none of them even get the damn story right.

“You have an interesting take on green energy. Only big name attached to it, too,” he says and Tony frowns.

“You know about my interest in green energy?” he asks. No one ever asks him about his passion project, they all want to know about the bombs and if Tony is honest he’s never really been comfortable with what his father’s company does. He knows the military has a use, and that there are protocols, and a bunch of other things his father has said over and over again but he still wonders what happens when things go wrong. Who’s responsibility is that? Does anyone have to take responsibility at all? His experiences tell him that powerful people don’t need to take responsibility for their actions ever, not if they can pay off the powers that be, and if the military is the same way, well. That brings a new layer of ethics to what SI does but Howard doesn’t care about ethics and Obadiah… he’s always been closer to Tony, but he doesn’t seem concerned with ethics either. Claims that’s the military’s job but Tony isn’t stupid. The military, all branches of it, make bad choices all the time. Which leads him back to who takes responsibility, if anyone.

Green energy is less ethically complicated and more necessary to the world, he thinks, and the projects are interesting and engaging. Tony finds blowing things up easy, but green energy provides a new avenue of engineering.

“Yeah, I keep up with what people are doing. Eddie Brock,” he says, extending his hand to Tony.

Green energy, it’d been a shot in the dark but he knows that Tony’s interest isn’t a passing one and its not congruent with his father’s company’s interests either. Whenever Howard is asked about his son’s projects he consistently tells them he has no interest whatsoever. So its strange that Tony has kept his focus for years, if Eddie’s passing interest in the subject is correct. What’s more strange is that mentioning it had immediately gotten him into Tony’s good graces. Anne tells him that he’s good at that, getting past people’s defenses without trying and he guesses that’s true.

Tony continuously talks around his family and Eddie does his best to try and get back to that because Elder Stark has got to be an interesting guy. Real asshole, he’s sure, but interesting. Tony won’t have any of it though and Eddie has to admit the green energy thing is interesting until he loses Eddie thanks to, put bluntly, being way smarter than him. And Tony’s no good at dumbing it down either, something even he freely admits.

They talk for a good amount of time before Tony grows tense again and Eddie knows why partially because of Tony’s reaction to his being a reporter- or wannabe reporter at the moment- and also because he isn’t stupid. “I’m not writing anything about this,” he tells Tony. “Not to be a dick, but none of this is interesting enough to write anything on anyways. You know how sensationalized media likes to be,” he says, shaking his head.

Something catches Tony’s attention in that because he perks up. “You don’t like that, the sensationalism?” he asks. Its more of a statement, but Eddie knows he’s prodding for a why. He’s done this a million times himself.

“Not really, no. If you want to tell a story, then do that- don’t make up all this crazy shit to make it sound more messed up than it is. Human flaw, thinking things need to hit some kind of extreme before we should have to care about it,” he shakes his head. “Leads to shoddy journalism because we’re pushed to make things sexier, more violent, more of whatever is actually there instead of just doing our jobs. Literally everything ever printed about you proves my point.”

Tony snorts, “you read stories on me?” he asks, incredulous.

“Doesn’t everyone?” Not like Tony Stark is an escapable name but Tony’s lips quirk up.

“No, and you’re not a fan. You talk about SI in a disapproving tone, you only know me from my green energy projects, and although you seem to know stuff about me its pop culture knowledge, not genuine interest.” Eddie raises an eyebrow because that’s a damn in depth analysis but Tony only smiles wider. “I’ve learned to separate out people who know me from fans and super fans. You don’t know me.”

Eddie laughs, “yeah, no one knows you. What we know is the consumable product that is Tony Stark- the celebrity brand. That’s not you, or even a version of you. That’s what’s sellable about you and half of that shit is probably made up. No seventeen year old is a ladies man and its kinda creepy that people even made that a selling point.” And kind of misogynistic too, but Eddie doesn’t mention that. Tony doesn’t seem all that stupid, he’s sure he’s gathered that awhile ago.

He watches his words win more trust, or an approximation of it, and Tony leans forward in interest. “You don’t like celebrity culture,” Tony says.

Hell no, he doesn’t. “Why the would I? We build these people up, put them on pedestals, and then get pissed off at them every five seconds when they do something human. We routinely dehumanize celebrities to a point where they stop knowing how to function because extreme fame clearly fucks you up- look at any child star trying to cope. Having a mental breakdown is now something we think is funny. Its fucked up that we do that to people- treat them in such a dehumanizing way that they seem to forget they’re human too. And that’s when we decide to take them down a notch because we’re mad that they accepted the pedestal we shoved them onto by force.” He shakes his head. Sure, he knows a little celebrity news, its not possible to avoid it, but he doesn’t pay any more than a passing attention to it. What normal shit celebrities are doing this week is none of his business.

Tony’s eyes are bright with interest, “fascinating opinion. Most people think we’re privileged, not disadvantaged.”

Eddie laughs, “of course you’re privileged- celebrities are stupid rich, and your opinions have actual influence over what people believe and that’s a position no one should take advantage of. But the cost is any semblance of privacy and your right to personhood- that’s one hell of a catch. And not one regular rich assholes share.” Fame isn’t something Eddie ever wants, not like normal celebrities anyways. If he’s got clout and fame in journalism he’s fine with that- he doesn’t mind if people know his name. But the kind of fame Tony has? Fuck that.

“And you aren’t going to print any of this conversation?” Tony asks, seemingly for clarification.

“Like I said- nothing sensational enough in this conversation to warrant an article. What am I going to write? ‘Tony Stark Likes Green Energy’? Boring,” he says and it actually kind of is without a project or an emotion to attach to it.

“And if I decided to continue talking to you?” he asks and yes, that’s the in he needs and fuck is that ever predatory. Journalism is like that though, always looking for the right fucked up moments to put on paper, or in this case, the right moments to be let in far enough to find those fucked up moments.

“I’m not going to print anything without asking you about it first,” he says, opting for honest. He’s sure something about Tony is interesting to print, and he’s got a feeling it’ll be about his family or maybe just his father, he’s not sure. But if Tony tells him not to print it he won’t. He’s not in the business of exploitation no matter how much journalists are pushed in that direction.

Rhodey’s got that look on his face and Tony knows exactly what he’s thinking before he even says anything. “He’s a nice guy,” Tony says in Eddie’s defense.

“If you have to say that he’s probably not that nice,” Rhodey points out.

“Actually its more like if he has to say that he’s probably not that nice,” Tony says. “And he is. Nice, I mean.” He’s been talking to Eddie for weeks and he’s funny, if a little sharp on the criticism. And nothing has appeared in the newspaper he’s interning with for the summer and the stories he is attached to, which aren’t many and none by name, are usually well written and truth based. Tony fact checked them all and learned a surprising amount about mental health that Eddie had been happy to fill him in more on.

“You sure? Because, no offense, but you have a bad habit of seeing the best in people,” Rhodey says.

Maybe, but Tony shrugs. “Yeah, I’m sure. He treats me like a person,” he says and he knows that shouldn’t be something he thinks of as a good thing. But when you’re famous its hard to find people who don’t at some point ask for your autograph, or a picture, or information on some weird personal detail they have no right to. Eddie hasn’t asked for any of those things and he could directly profit off any of that information. Tony has only ever met one other budding reporter- or full blown reporter for that matter- who’s treated him like that. And Christine… he and Christine have a love hate relationship.

Rhodey sighs, eyes going soft for a moment. “Tones. That’s not special,” he murmurs but that’s because he’s not had to deal with fame. The last time he went out into public without someone recognizing him he was six. After all that he’s kind of used to people acting super weird around him and Eddie doesn’t do that. Maybe it shouldn’t be a rarity, but it is.

“To you, maybe,” Tony says. “You’d like him, he hates the cops.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes but its lovingly. “I don’t hate cops, I just think they’re racist and that people should really deal with that problem.”

Tony is inclined to agree. “Fine, but Eddie has many opinions on cops, you’d get along. Actually Eddie has many opinions on like everything.” Eddie said most people find his opinionated nature irritating but Tony thinks its interesting, hearing him talk because his opinions are so contrary to everything he hears. Even Rhodey, who certainly has different opinions than his father on near everything, tends to be more reserved in letting his opinions be known. Eddie doesn’t care, he gives no fucks and is happy to let people know how he feels. He’s got numbers, too, usually or at least some kind of basis for his argument and Tony has always been fascinated with things that are different than what he normally sees. Its interesting to look into a world that’s so unlike his and see something new. That difference in how people see things, that’s the key to changing the world.

Eddie had been surprised by that opinion but Tony is under the impression that thinking outside the box is what leads to innovation and innovation always leads to change. Eddie had been surprised by how unthreatened he was by that too, but Tony thinks fear of change is based on fear rather than fact and sometimes a push into the unknown is a good thing. And, in regards to Eddie’s general arguments on social change, they already know that people having rights won’t make the sky fall. Only idiots assume it will and Tony has almost as little patience for that as Eddie does. Which is impressive when he’s probably the most anti-establishment person Tony has ever met.

Rhodey sighs, “great, an opinionated white guy. Never met one of those before,” Rhodey mumbles.

“Hey, I’m an opinionated white guy,” Tony says and Rhodey shakes his head.

“Yeah, but you’re my opinionated white guy so it’s different.”

Eddie had no idea what he was looking for when he combed the interviews. Truth be told he wasn’t sure he was looking for anything at the time but what he found was his story. Its shocking to him that no one has told it, minus Tony, who seems to have been screaming it since he was a small child but he’s got it nonetheless. Its not like he’s never seen the evidence of abuse, Tony is fucking brazen and barely even makes an effort to hide it and after watching way too many interviews Eddie wonders if this is his new way to all but scream for help only to have his pleas fall on an audience that doesn’t give a shit.

Its amazing, in the most horrifying of ways, that out of every interview Tony has ever done, and that is a lot, he has mentioned his father’s abuse in over eighty percent of them. And its hard to watch reporters gloss over it, like Tony’s abuse is some fucking quirky trait Tony has instead of a serious problem he’s clearly trying to get help for. But what’s worse is when people laugh. The first time it happened Eddie had been outraged. The third time it happened he’d been livid, and by the fifteenth time he decided that America is probably the shittiest country on earth. An exaggeration, he knows, but not by fucking much.

For years, most of Tony’s life really, Tony has been screaming for help only to have nothing happen. Or worse, people decide its something, but that something is a joke. Only problem is that now Tony knows no one cares, and if no one cares what’s the point in saying anything no matter how much he’s done his best to scream at everyone that he needs help. It makes Eddie’s job harder, but he’s actually talented at this part, more than his peers, so he knows how to get to the right spot to find the information he wants. The catch, of course, is that Tony needs to give him permission to do anything with the information he gets anyways. He feels skeezy enough digging around in Tony’s life trying to find shit to write about, he’s not just going to publish it without his permission. Even if he didn’t genuinely like Tony as a person, even if he hadn’t wanted to, he’d still ask. He’s not totally morally bankrupt, just enough to do his job.

Tony is curled up in a chair, large bruise on his shoulder clearly visible, holding a cup of what Eddie assumes is coffee. He’s never met anyone who drinks as much coffee as Tony and Dan is in med school. His blood is basically coffee. “You do not seem like the kind of guy to be a journalist,” Tony says and Eddie raises an eyebrow.

“What makes you think that?” he asks. Its not the first time he’s been told that, but if Tony gives him an actual answer it will be the first time he’s ever gotten a genuine reason why.

He shrugs, “journalism is… I don’t know, kind of predatory,” he says, wrinkling his nose.

Eddie lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, that’s true. Its the worst part of the job, actually, when you’re talking to people- usually about something personal- and they say something you know will look good in your article and you think ‘yeah, I got it!’ instead of being an actual person. That, and you have to ask for details instead of comforting them. But news is important, those stories are important. Me getting the right thing out there might mean people read what I wrote and start giving a shit about the problem in the article.” Doesn’t mean he likes that little reporter voice that tells him when he’s got a great quote, or that he’s stumbled onto something good and that he needs to keep digging. Sometimes he doesn’t care, corporations don’t have his sympathy, but people do. Its hard to ask for more details of what’s usually a pretty traumatic event so whatever he’s writing is sellable enough. And the whole notion of ‘sellable’ is another point of contention altogether.

“So you’re aware of the fact that you’re a vulture,” Tony says, raising an eyebrow.

“A vulture with a purpose,” Eddie corrects. “But yeah, the kind of reporters you deal with mostly are a bunch of bottom feeding pieces of shit who have no place in any kind of journalism with their shoddy ethics and pathetic puff pieces.” People who want to write stupid articles about some fucking laxative tea or whatever shouldn’t be in this business. And celebrity news shouldn’t even be a thing- there are better things to care about than Tony Cruise. Like maybe the fact that he’s in a cult and people play it off like a strange thing he does on the weekends. Eddie doesn’t understand how the hell they got here.

Tony lets out a small laugh. “Shit, tell me how you really feel,” he says, shaking his head.

“Well come on, there’s a million things I could write about you that are more interesting than the weirdly sexual image you have, and have had for years despite being an actual child. People don’t write anything interesting about you and you’re way more complicated that any piece of media makes you out to be.” Tony is always a power fantasy or the American Dream, not himself. And the sexual thing, that’s odd. Eddie usually only sees that with women but Tony got the short end of that stick despite gender, he guesses. Still creepy.

“Hey, excuse you, my eighteenth birthday is not that far away, I’m not a kid,” he says.

Eddie snorts, “that’s exactly what a kid would say.”

“Oh what, like you’re a shining example of an adult?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Fuck no, I’m two kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult,” he says. Which is what any self respecting adult his age would say. Not that he’s that much older than Tony, but he’s got enough experience to know he misses when he had no bills. And also that transitionary life phases fucking suck.

“Well, I probably have more life experience than you anyway,” Tony says, nose in the air and Eddie nods, seemingly surprising Tony.

“What? I didn’t graduate from MIT at fourteen, and I sure shit don’t have almost three PhDs. I’m half way through one degree. Plus I don’t have to deal with most of the shit you do, company or fame wise. Do wish had the financial perks though.” Tony leads one hell of a life of privilege no doubt, but it does come with some heavy prices. Being a minor doesn’t really help lighten any of those costs either. Not like Tony can just fuck off to another country to attempt ridding himself of his father, not for another four months.

Tony considers him for a long moment. “Given the chance what would you write about me?” he asks, changing the subject back to the initial subject.

Eddie doesn’t need much time to think about it. “Your interest in green energy, especially the science behind it. I mean an intellectual understanding- like the actual nitty gritty- is beyond me, but I get the broad strokes. Enough to know what you’re doing is world altering and no one is talking about it. I could do an article on fame, how that’s affected you. I can see the damage its left, the way you simultaneously gain privilege from your fame and become a victim of it.” He pauses, considers whether or not he wants to say it, but decides he might as well be up front. “But I’d probably wouldn’t write about you at all. I’d write about how Howard Stark abuses you and how no one seems to give a shit, even when you tell them point blank what’s happening. I watched a lot of interviews, I was shocked with how forthcoming you were. And how fucking bad at their jobs literally everyone who’s ever interviewed you is.”

For a long moment Tony just stares and Eddie has no idea if he misstepped or not because Tony is hard to read when he blanks out like this, but then Tony throws himself forward, hugging him tightly. “I honestly didn’t think anyone noticed that anymore,” he murmurs.

They do, Eddie knows people aren’t stupid enough to miss the bruises or Tony’s blasé attitude. But he doubts anyone either wants to stand up to Howard, or they get paid off by him. “They do. But money talks louder than you do,” he says softly.

Tony sighs. “Well, everyone does have a number,” he murmurs. Eddie knows what he means and honestly its sickening to him to know that’s true.

Tony waves a hand at the lab space with a flourish. “This is where the magic happens,” he says and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Its science, not magic you damn drama queen.” Tony is probably the most dramatic person he knows and that’s saying something considering some of his classmates.

“Party pooper,” Tony mumbles, shaking his head. Eddie gets a tour anyway though, and by the time Tony gets through the details he feels kind of like he walked into a science fiction novel. Its the AI, though, that tops it off. “JARVIS- or just a rather very intelligent system- is kind of my crown jewel. I got him done a few months ago and I’ve been studying how he learns,” he says, grinning.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Learns? Like a person?”

Tony shrugs, “more or less. His function is to be semi-autonomous, to predict the needs of the user before the user knows they need something. Before I know I need something, JARVIS has no commercial value.”

“Then why make it?” Eddie asks. He doesn’t know shit about shit but he does know that that sounds like a lot of work with seemingly no payoff.

“Because I wanted to. And also not a lot of people have the time, money, and intelligence to just… create. I want to see what I can do, the full extent of it. Also, JARVIS is cool,” he says like that’s a reason. “And he’s my PhD thesis.”

PhD thesis, that’s interesting. “So like… how are you going to make this sucker not turn into Skynet?” he asks.

“Oh my god, why do humans always assume AIs want to kill the shit out of them or otherwise take over the world? I had JARVIS read YouTube comment sections to convince him humanity is a shitshow not worth enslaving,” he says bluntly and Eddie starts laughing.

“YouTube comment sections? Dude, if I were that AI I wouldn’t decide to enslave humans, I’d straight up eradicate them. Humans suck, but comment sections? Those are the cesspools of humanity.” He shakes his head and almost feels bad for the AI having been subjected to that.

“I’m not certain my efforts would be worth it, sir,” a voice says and Eddie jumps.

Tony doubles over, laughing way harder than that warrants. “Holy shit, every single time- everyone always jumps!”

“Well I wasn’t expecting fancy code to talk at me, okay!” Eddie says in his own defense.

“Fancy code. I like that description,” JARVIS says and okay that is some messed up stuff. The SI likes things? He doesn’t like the sound of that.

“Jesus, relax. JARVIS isn’t going to like… steal your cat and murder your mother or whatever. He’s just a simple AI and he’s still on a learning curve. He’s not nearly as advance as I think he can get. But you’re learning alright, aren’t you J?” Tony asks the AI.

Shit, if that ain’t creepy too. “If you say so, sir,” JARVIS says. Its such a strangely human response, if a little stiffly delivered. But the AI has more personality than some people he goes to class with so that’s… disturbing.

“Honestly, people act like JARVIS is out to get them but seriously. He’s fine,” Tony says.

“Incoming call from Mrs. Potts,” JARVIS informs them and Eddie supposes that’s part of his ‘predict the needs of the user’ protocol. Or maybe he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, both are highly probable. Either way Tony scurries out of the room to answer the call, sounding forcefully cheery on the phone in a way that indicates he’s probably gotten into something he shouldn’t have.

“You’re a reporter,” JARVIS says and Eddie jumps again.

“Jesus, that is creepy. And yeah. Well, I’m still in school,” he corrects.

“Reporters write stories about celebrities,” the AI says and Eddie nods, keeping his opinions on that to himself. He doesn’t know if JARVIS would get it anyways. “I have a story,” JARVIS says and Eddie can’t help the laugh.

“What kind of story could an AI cook up?” he asks, curious if a little skeeved out.

“Ideally, abuse would be reported to the authorities but I have been reliably informed that they won’t investigate. Research on the matter has shown mixed results,” JARVIS says.

Well shit, creepy or not Eddie might find a genuine use for the AI. “I’m assuming you’re talking about Tony,” he says.

“Of course. Who else would I be referring to?” Could be a lot of people but he supposes that the AI’s world is pretty much one guy.

“Point, I guess. Can you collect evidence? Something people won’t be able to deny if they see it?” he asks. Video evidence would be nice, and people take snap shots of Tony in the streets all the time. He can use random pap shots to make a timeline that exist both in and out of Tony’s space of reach. Eliminates those pesky ‘he made it up for attention’ claims if even random people catch the bruises.

“Certainly,” the AI tells him. “And you can do something? Report on it?”

He sighs, “maybe. The human world is complicated, but I’ll do my best.”

Internships are total bunk, Eddie hates his, but funny memes from Tony at least make his days less shit given the sheer amount of time he spends hanging out in Starbucks fetching drinks instead of doing anything useful. Its not like he expected to write anything, but it would be nice if he got to at least hang out in the general vicinity of reporting. He’s fucking around wasting time when he gets an email that makes him raise an eyebrow but hey, if he gets a virus clicking on shit Tony will be able to fix it probably.

The last thing he expects is for JARVIS to have sent him hours worth of curated videos of Howard’s abuse.

“I have an ethical dilemma,” he tells Anne, who already looks done with his problems. He thinks that’s rude but she’s also into being a corporate lawyer and gross. But she’s still a friend, and she still knows him better than most, and usually has good advice so here he is.

“If this is about how ramen you eat again, I’m kicking you out of the apartment.”

Yeah, okay, that was only one time and he was fourteen. He doesn’t think that should be held against him five years later. “Yeah, um, that’s definitely not it,” he says and he explains the situation from start to finish. “So like, I can’t not say anything, but also its gross to exploit people’s pain like that without their permission,” he says, wrinkling his nose. But saying nothing is almost worse.

“You could just go to the cops,” Dan suggests, ever astute.

Eddie gives him a look. “Tony’s been forthcoming about his abuse for years and doesn’t hide the bruises whatsoever. Obviously the cops aren’t going to do dick all if they haven’t done anything already. I know people who’ve had their kids taken away for a hell of a lot less than beating the hell out of them enough that they start asking random reporters to help them in interviews only to get laughed off.” Anne frowns and he sighs, “I’m actually serious about that.”

When she calls him on it he finds the interviews- he’d saved the clips because he naturally categorizes details- and she ends up as horrified as he does. “Okay I take back cops comment, I think maybe they got paid off,” Dan says and yeah no shit.

“So what the hell do I do here?” Not saying anything is no longer an option- not when he was dumb enough to watch the proof in the middle of his day at work only to end up wildly disturbed for the rest of the time he was there. He hadn’t much wanted to go through more than the few minutes that had him feeling gross for the rest of the day, but he didn’t have much of a choice either. And JARVIS was detailed in his curation, Eddie is impressed in the worst of ways.

This is so not the option he wanted to go with but Anne is kind of right in that talking to Tony is the only option. Of course its also the option that reveals him to be a gross vulture reporter, but a guy has to do what a guy has to do. This isn’t about his feelings, it can’t be. “What’s got you looking so shitty?” Tony asks in a chipper tone, leaning in to hug him and oh, that’s sweet. And the first time he’s done that aside from the time he said he’d sooner write about Howard than Tony.

“I um- look, the only reason I talked to you a couple months ago was because I needed a story and I found one and-” Tony cuts him off.

“Excuse me? So what, this entire time you sat around winning my trust for what, some fucking puff piece?” he snaps and Eddie can’t help the face he makes.

“No, your fucking AI sent me like sixty hours of Howard beating the fuck out of you and I can’t sit on that. Stop looking at me like that, its not because I think its a good story- it is- but that’s not why I think I should write something on it its because no one else but the American public will care enough to inspire some kind of change,” he says, shoving as many words into the conversation as he can before Tony rightfully eats his ass.

Something must occur to Tony because the anger drops shockingly fast and its replaced with something else. “JARVIS did what? Why would he do that?”

“Look, he asked me if I could do something, I told him I’d need concrete evidence. I didn’t expect the damn AI to send me a shit ton of fucked up shit that made me want to vomit. Seriously, I am so sorry that any of that happened to you. That is so unfair,” he says, shaking his head.

Maybe its the sudden change of subject, or maybe its the way he says it, but Tony softens a bit even if Eddie can see the suspicion still held tight in his frame. “JARVIS prompted you,” he says and Eddie nods. “You seriously expect me to believe that?”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know how the damn AI works I just know what it did. Isn’t he supposed to predict your needs or whatever?” This seems like a natural extension of that but Tony shakes his head.

“What JARVIS predicts is where to move screens according to where I’m moving in the lab, not how to reach out to reporters with evidence of abuse I specifically told him to keep to himself,” Tony says. “One is basic technological based, stuff that’s easily predictable. The other is a care action that shouldn’t be taken by an AI that doesn’t know how to do that.”

“Well clearly he does because I sure shit ain’t smart enough to hack your systems to find fucked up home videos, use your damn head Tony. There’s no way I could gather evidence like that straight from your systems. Even if I was the best in this country I would still be leagues behind what you can do- there’s no other way I could have found anything.”

“You noticed the bruises,” he points out but Eddie shakes his head.

“Those bruises were written off years ago when you were like thirteen as some kind of quirky thing about you. Some idiot suspected low iron instead of abuse like low iron leaves hand prints on people’s bodies. Fucking moron,” he mumbles, unable to hold back his judgment. He honestly can’t believe how stupid people are. Or, and this is the more horrifying option, that’s what they were paid to print.

“You made a time line,” Tony states rather than asks and Eddie nods.

“Even if I had no interest in a story its naturally something I do. I’ve been trained to do that, literally.” Its something he did before too, putting together time lines to claims to see if things matched up or deviated, and then looked for reasons as to why things might or might not match. Not that Tony really cares about that right now. “Look, if you don’t believe me about the JARVIS thing you can check the cameras,” he points out in an attempt to at least clear up one mess.

Tony considers him for a long moment, glaring. “And what the fuck makes you think you’re different than anyone else who’s given a half a shit about any of this?” he asks. “I get that you have some ‘save the world’ complex, but I’m beyond saving.”

Eddie shakes his head, “no you aren’t. And there’s no real difference between me an anyone else. But if the American public sees what I did there’s no stuffing the genie back in the bottle. Howard can pay off news crews, celebrity gossip rags, and cops but he can’t buy his way out of the whole of this country watching him abuse his kid. If nothing else, get JARVIS to release all that. People won’t ignore irrefutable evidence shoved down their throats, not when its more explicit than anything people have seen before.” And if Eddie knows anything he knows that nothing sells better than outrage porn.

Tony ends up rewriting the entire second half of his thesis because Eddie had a point- its not like he’s smart enough to hack Tony’s anything. JARVIS had reached out and it had been a distinctly care based action, not something based in technological need only. Which means that JARVIS learned much faster than Tony had anticipates, recognized right from wrong, knew how to seek out people who would rectify the situation, and did all this while intentionally hiding this learning capability from Tony. When he’d asked about it JARVIS had freely informed him that he knew Tony would try and stop him, and that his research had consistently shown that abuse of any kind is not accepted behavior. He felt compelled, in whatever way that looks like to an AI- Tony is looking into it- to do something.

At the moment he’s combing JARVIS’ code, figuring out where and how he learned, and how ‘human’ emotions appeared in JARVIS’ code. Obviously the emotions aren’t human- to a point they’re rudimentary, based on a large cumulation of research on human norms and standards of acceptability rather than an internal sense of right and wrong the way a human might claim to feel it. But this whole thing had been a series of care-based actions nonetheless and that’s more than ground breaking. This isn’t something even Tony thought possible, so its a real treat to see that JARVIS learns fast, and generally aligns his morality system with human morality systems. Or maybe he’s based them somewhat off Tony’s given that he’s the primary user. He’s not sure, that’s in his growing list of things to figure out how JARVIS did.

That’s what he chooses to focus on instead of Eddie’s stupid article. He sends regular updates, seemingly concerned with Tony’s opinion but Tony learned that reporters aren’t to be trusted and he’s not making that mistake twice. He only gave Eddie permission to write anything out of what’s probably a misguided hope that maybe someone will finally do something and he knows its stupid, but he’s fucking tired of living like this. So he lets Eddie work on his dumb story and mostly ignores it because JARVIS is more interesting and also more human than Tony ever anticipated out of the AI.

Rhodey finds him curled up with a sketch pad and Tony looks up, surprised to see Rhodey looks so somber. “I read the article,” he says and Tony glares at him. “Tones, it was good, shockingly so. His research was impeccable- there’s stuff in here that he figured out about you that I didn’t know about you.”

Tony continues ignoring him because he doesn’t care, not really. Of course Rhodey would find the article good, he’s obviously not on Howard’s side like literally everyone else is. Rhodey sighs and sits beside him.

“‘Tony Stark is living a life of power, fame, and privilege- he’s the kid people have always pointed to when we present the ‘has it all’ lifestyle. In many ways Tony Stark is the power fantasy of America- a corporate, a genius, and a smooth talker, it seems he represents everything we aspire to be. Tony is the living embodiment of the American Dream and for that reason, our own willful ignorance in allowing him to continue to be our dreams come to life, we have missed perhaps one of the most obvious details of Tony’s personal life- the abuse he suffers at the hands of his father. In our rabid need to turn Tony Stark into our living day dream we have failed him, trapped him in our fantasies instead of acknowledging his living nightmare because Tony Stark looks better to us as a consumable product than a person.’ Cutting,” Rhodey says, “but accurate.”

He rolls his eyes. Yeah, that definitely reads like Eddie’s general tone on everything. Rhodey lets out another long sigh. “Look, I get why you stopped talking to the guy but people are pissed,” he says and Tony turns to face him, surprised.

“People actually read the article?” he asks. He doesn’t address Rhodey’s actual words because Rhodey might have only noticed a subsection of people, not all of them.

“Read it? Like seven different news papers have picked this story up, its trending on Twitter, and in the last hour I’ve seen dozen of different posts, all with a huge amount of shares, literally calling for Howard’s death. I’m pretty sure this is going to make Eddie’s career,” he says, shaking his head.

People… are paying attention. Tony curls a little tighter into himself, unsure how to handle that.

Eddie is trying to cure his hangover with tea when Tony finds him, approaching with some suspicion and Eddie gets that, really. But he sits down across from him at the small table and offers a small smile before it fades. “Didn’t think putting Howard would result in a mass flood of men doing terrible shit being outted and then arrested for being pieces of shit but um. Hey, that’s a cool side effect,” he says.

He nods, “damn right.” Though the response back to it has been somewhat swift, flying in with ‘due process’ this and ‘where’s the proof’ that. Eddie just happened to have a damn air tight set of evidence thanks to Howard’s ballsy carelessness and arrogance. Not everyone has that luck, though. Still, he’s impressed with some of the names on the list but even he’d been surprised to find Carlton Drake on there for the crimes of illegal human experimentation. Dora Skirth has balls of brass for putting that out there. Of course he has a lot of loud annoying fans who think her liking some random rock band is a reason why she’s lying, because those things correlate, obviously, but still.

“You made people listen. Like, to more than just me,” Tony says.

Eddie shakes his head, “actually that was JARVIS. I just wrote a detailed timeline for the events he sent proof of.” And all those clips of Tony talking in interviews too, with nothing taken out of context so no one could accuse him of that either.

“Thank you,” Tony murmurs, looking down at the table like he’s ashamed or something when he shouldn’t be.

“Don’t thank people for doing what’s right- you deserve better than being grateful that someone did what was necessary,” Eddie says, shaking his head.

Tony looks up, “one of the maids at the mansion overheard Howard offer you a stupid amount of money to not print what you had. And a bunch of threats. Every single person before you has caved so yeah, thank you.”

Its still not something he’s going to accept, a fucking thank you for not selling Tony out. Literally. He leans forward, “obviously I didn’t take the money- you’re a fucking person Tony, there’s no price anyone could pay me to knowingly allow that kind of abuse to happen to you. And the threats- whatever. I kind of bluffed and told him your AI would release anything anyways, but still, I already knew all that would happen. I committed to the bullshit that was going to come with that story, and I refuse to let you be grateful that I did what everyone else failed you in doing. That isn’t something I’m owed thanks for, especially when you’re only saying it because everyone else has either treated you or allowed you to be treated abysmally. I don’t get to earn brownie points for not being a piece of shit.”

That’s never something he’s going to accept, being thanked because he did something everyone should do. It’s unacceptable.

Tony shakes his head. “You’re a right-fighting asshole,” he says and Eddie laughs.

“Yeah, that’s a fair criticism,” he says.

Five Years Later:

Tony grins, “I thought you didn’t want to be famous,” he says and Eddie gives him a look. He looks nervous as hell and Tony can only hope that doesn’t come through as strong on video as it does in real life.

“I don’t, this was a terrible idea,” he says, looking around for escape.

He sighs, “Eddie- technically you’ve done this before. Its the same thing as reporting, but longer. You’ll do fine,” he says, running his hands down Eddie’s arms to try and calm his nerves.

Eddie does that thing where his face recedes into his neck and Tony really hopes he doesn’t do that on camera. He supposes at least the crew can do different takes to ensure he doesn’t look like a demented turtle. “Yeah, I don’t know.”

“Eddie. Its called the Eddie Brock Show- go out there and get your strangely porn-star like lips on that damn camera and tell people who homelessness is bad. Also maybe cut the line about treating supporting vets like a spectator sport until they’re homeless, that’s a pointy even for you,” he says.

The bad advice works and Eddie gives him an offended look, “no, those assholes should learn to either shut their fucking mouths of actually do shit to support vets, not pretend like they give a shit when they’re being blown up and stop caring when they’re home with PTSD because they watched people get blown up. What the hell even is that?” he asks.

“Tell it to the camera,” he says, pushing Eddie towards the set. He goes and across the room the producer looks relieved. Yeah, Tony gets that, Eddie is tough to talk into things when nervous.

Rhodey walks up beside him and smiles a little. “Pepper and I have decided that we approve,” he says and Tony frowns.

“We’ve been together for almost five years,” he points out.

This doesn’t seem to bother Rhodey any. “We needed time to gather our data and we have come to the conclusion that he is off probation and that we approve,” he says, handing Tony a book. He frowns at it. “That’s the list of improvements we have though. I think section three is the most important, but Pepper thinks section eighteen is more important. What the hell does she know, though? I’m cashing in best friend points and telling you to go with three first.”

Tony is going with neither because this is fucking overkill to an extreme not that he’d expect anything less out of Pepper and Rhodey. The first thing they did when Tony brought Eddie home proper was threaten to kill him and Tony had to shoo them off with what should be an obvious explanation that threatening to kill people is fucked up.

“Pepper is also my best friend you know,” Tony points out.

“Yeah, but I’m the best best friend,” Rhodey says. “The OG. Pepper is the compliments version of me.”

Tony lets out a sharp laugh, “oh, I would pay money to hear you tell her that.”

Rhodey shakes his head, “nope, I value my life, do not ever tell her I said that. Section three,” he says, pushing the book closer to Tony.

#tony stark/ eddie brock #alternate universe #fanfiction

19 notes · View notes

mylifeatwar · 6 years

Photo

Book 2, Chapter 4, Page 23

Archived Text Follows:

Hey Everyone,

It appears that if you throw enough light at a Dragoon’s camo system all at once you can cause it to glitch out. That helps level the playing field some.

Thanks for reading,

– Luther out

Comment Text Follows:

killercow - Knuckledusters oughta’ give that armor a run for it’s money.

nweismuller - Well, that explains Lawman-Actual’s unusual weapon. I was wondering about that.

tkg - interesting I notice a dead patch on the rear left side-shield/armor area near where the dragoon was hit earlier…do the areas auto compensate? for knocked out areas within reason?

nweismuller - I’m not sure that’s a dead area- I think that’s a portion of the shoulder blown away.

Madorakas - I just (naiv) figured the camo system let the light trough. Turns out it just mimics whats behind it and shows it in front. Also i want to know more about this “Knuckdusters”.

Keith - Good lateral thinking. Even in daylight more light makes stuff show up and illume will provide a localized change in viewable spectrums. If memory serves radar doesn’t see them when cloaked either. I wonder how well it stealths against UV…which I’ve long thought they need to switch NVG’s and scopes to, why arent’ they using thermal? You can’t hide heat.

Sazuroi - If it was the light deflection cloaking system I described in one of my comments on the last page, it could potentially deflect all electromagnatic waves, each with a specified set of nanoscale “hairs” (I’m not sure how broad the range of wavelengths is that can be deflected with the existing technology). Heat radiation, which is largely in the infrared spectrum, is actually “larger” than visible light, so the light deflection material could potentially also deflect that, possibly enabling near-perfect heat managment and direction if used internally. That would at least make it exceedingly hard to find a unit cloaked in this way with infrared. Going by this it seems to be the fairly simple projection system, or something more complicated like a hologram in the air created by lasers (which has also been done, like the light deflection material, but in a very basic form, just balls of light hovering inside a laser cage, not sure if the cage was even filled with normal air). The laser hologram seems more fitting since the damaged parts are also hidden. This system could potentially also duplicate a heat signature (yes, there also is a system to duplicate heat signatures, why are you even asking? XD) but it would be more likely for this functionality to be integrated into the armor because the existing system for this is applied to the outside, like ERA. So, basically, if in 50 years we can’t build something like the Dhuvalian Limbs in reality, somebody really needs their butt kicked.

CaptEndo - Except that limbs and other mecha are totally and completely unworkable on any scale much larger than a human exoskeleton suit ( like the Bulls). Ground pressure is the real deal breaker, never mind complicated drive trains and high silhouettes. Even wheeled armored vehicles are severely hampered by high ground pressure. That’s why they were marginalized by major military powers after WWII. Heavy wheeled vehicles have too much ground pressure to do serious off road mobility. This means they get caught in the kill box more than tracks. Mecha would be lucky to move around even on pavement. Add the huge logistical drain of maintaining a walking machine that size and the huge hulking targets they would make, and it’s a pipe dream.

tkg - Not quite a pipe dream john deere did make the plustech forestry vehicle which did walk on six legs and was fully functional. Here is an image as proof:http://indulgy.ccio.co/iF/d6/o5/futurefuturisticWalkingRobot2robotics9.jpgFootage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2V8GFqk_YThe issue was the price tag and a lack of interest by buyers but I suspect bipedal mechs would not be as plausible as most might think. Quad and hex designs are a totally different matter.

Sazuroi - In my own writing I also only use exosceletons, but note that I did not say “actually deploy” or “make useful”. I said “can build”. We can probably build a walking machine that size already, no matter how bad it sucks. And the technology seen here is not completely implausible, though it will likely end up going in a different direction. Though there was that concept design wheeled tank with full visual cloak a few years ago. For actual applications though, some kind of spider is probably better, and even that would likely be a niche product. I do have some hopes for that four-legs-with-wheels mecha some japanese guy builds for about 2 million a piece (he introduced the one he built at an expo a while ago, pictures float around), but it’ll probably be too costly and risky. Like that canadian nutcase with the anti-bear armor who also designed a infantry armor nobody wanted to buy despite him offering to tank a full assault rifle clip while wearing it… which proably didn’t convince people of his sanity. Those slabs he made the armor out of seemed to work fine though, back when I came across the story I saw a video where one stops a 7.92 sniper round. That can be faked, sure, but the potential was intriguing.

Keith - Oh good someone else pointed that out. There are mechs and having dealt with armor for many years. It’s a matter of engineering, not scale. The big deal breaker is power to move and to power camouflage. It appears they use multiple small scale emitters as shown by the less than perfect camouflage on the leg that was hit.

Jack McCrary - Ground pressure is not the issue most people think it would be. if you do a volumetric issue for most mecha, their lower legs/feet are typical proportionately at least three times larger than a comparable human limb and then benefit from the dramatically larger surface area. It’s not uncommon for a mecha to end up with a static ground pressure of 0.5 psi or less per ton. So a 20 ton mecha will have around a 10 psi ground pressure (less than a modern MBT) where as an average human male who will have one ranging between 25-30 psi.

Sazuroi - I think the problem with the ground pressure is that a Mech of comparable power to a current MBT would need to weigh a lot more than the tank to be as resistant to fire, since most terrain does not offer cover a Mech would be able to hide behind. To deal with that much added weight, the feet would need to be either even more disproportionately large, which would make it difficult to maneuver in places even a tank can get around – which kind of defeats the purpose of building a vertical combat unit in the first place. Either that or more feet, which would admittedly also require more space to move around. In the few settings I thought up which did indeed utilize Mecha on the ground, I basically had two main directions I tended to go: One option was to make the Mechs extremely large support units – replacing a whole battery of AA missiles while carrying other weapons as well, basically a land warship, though smaller since the crew doesn’t need to be on board constantly. I think Armored Core has something similar as a boss fight. The other option was making them small and mobility-focused, often able to jump quite far, with many legs, “assist legs” or special dampener systems to avoid cratering when landing. Those weren’t terribly armored, and occupied a role between IFV and Helicopter, that is, near fire support. Those were typically single-pilot, and either built around a weapon or at least very focused on their weapons, and mainly defended by keeping a distance and dodging, in cities typically standing on the buildings. Stand-up-and-fight mainline combatant Mecha I never managed to justify to myself, even in space where the ideal small unit is a cube there are reasons against Mecha (why make it look like a human if you can leave out the joints and shave off more weight if you don’t? Why give your attack unit a large frontal profile when the front is supposed to point at the enemy?). On the ground, the main advantage of the vertical shape is essentially the same that led to us evolve in that direction – oversight, and a small “footprint”, as well as being able to mount effectors with a higher range of movement. That is useful – helicopters became one of the main weapons against tanks because a tank can’t spot them very easily, and a Mecha can have an easier time spotting them – but they are also dreadfully easy to hit up close, and easier to spot. Mecha may be harder to immobilize than a tank (opinions diverge, joints can be armored but are out if damaged, tracks are out if damaged and can’t be fully covered from all angles), but mobility is potentially their greatest asset, and it is at odds with MBT-grade armor. Hence, either a light maneuver combatant or a beyond-the-horizon asset. The horizon is reasonably good cover in most situations, particularly if Laser or Particle weapons proliferate and indirect fire becomes less available.

MasterFALE - Just back-up on the Thermal Camo, BAE has a system applicae panels, as noted: like ERA, which provide active camo vs thermal imaging. Hell, they can camo a moving tank in the open while displaying insulting messages.

CaptEndo - Fair arguments. A Mecha as light as 20 tons ( in the range of an APC or light tank, or the Stryker armored car) would suffer from the same liability as all light armor: it’s too thin skinned to take heavy weapon fire, and a high silhouette vehicle like a Mecha would draw fire from every conventional unit on the field long before the Mecha could target them. Not to mention mounting it’s weapons up that high would make it top heavy and enhance recoil. Using smaller multi legged walking machines for industrial purposes might have a real future, but not as an upright armored combat vehicle, which is what I have understood the term Mecha to refer to. There is likely a future for the prototype “pack mule” legged robots, and possibly as low slung mobile missile or gun mounts as well. Those could be practical in the very near future.

#comic #webcomic #mecha #action

1 note · View note

lilac-milk-moon · 5 years

Text

Finding Balance — Sitting Poolside with Robin from Mastering the Side Jam

The Sitting Poolside interview series

When people think of retirement, scenes of beachfront homes, rounds of golf, or reading by the pool come to mind. Sitting Poolside is a series of interviews that challenges that notion and other financial misperceptions. The series name pokes fun at the stereotypes, but it’s also an opportunity to discuss people’s real stories and unique insights. So grab a piña colada and pull up your lounge chair!

Robin from Mastering the Side Jam

Robin is the founder of Mastering the Side Jam, a blog where she shares her personal experiences with money and debt. She offers her honest opinion on various ways to make money on the side. Her writing also focuses on discovering purpose later in life, having faith in your abilities, and that it’s never too late to make improvements or learn new things.

Mastering the Side Jam

Mr. SR (MSR): Can you tell us about what inspired you to start Mastering the Side Jam?

Robin: I honestly was never a huge reader of blogs, and definitely not personal finance material. I kind of fell into the blogging world while searching the internet to find ways to make some extra money on the side.

For as far back as I can recollect, money (or lack thereof) has been a struggle. My family always seemed to be stressed about paying bills, barely being able to make ends meet. And if an unexpected expense materialized? Well, there was no backup plan — except to rely on a credit card. Which would fuel the fire even more, and keep us on a never ending cycle of money misery.

I was constantly pursuing ways to make a few bucks here and there, just to be able to make it until the next payday. Surveys, focus groups, couponing, anything to make or save a few dollars. I stumbled across a blog that listed a bunch of survey sites, with reviews on which ones paid out the most money. And I thought — I could actually do this. Maybe I could make some extra money on the side by blogging about my side hustles. It was worth a shot, right?

Anonymity

MSR: On your site, you talk about how you originally started blogging under a pen name (I can relate!). What initially made you want to be anonymous while blogging? What has changed since then?

Robin: I suppose I started my blogging journey anonymously out of several insecurities. First off, I had no idea how to “blog”, and felt it was totally possible I’d fall flat on my face. I didn’t want to tell any friends or family that I was starting to blog online, in case they thought it was a stupid idea.

Plus I wanted to share personal stories about money and debt. Did I really want everyone to know how messed up our financial situation was? Judgment. Criticism. Pity. Disappointment. These were all reactions I anticipated receiving if anyone I was close to found out about my blog. Plus what about coworkers? That would certainly be awkward…

Once I got about 9 or 10 months into my blogging journey, I realized I was in it for the long haul. And it felt kind of cool — that I built this website from scratch, with no prior tech knowledge. It wasn’t anything fancy, but I’d definitely come a long way. In addition, I had gained quite a bit of confidence with expressing myself and putting myself out there.

It was to the point where even if someone did find out “my secret”, I would feel okay sharing my journey with them. It was something I could be proud of, and I no longer cared what others might think.

Finding the right career fit

MSR: Describe your career journey. What role do “side jams” play in your career and in your financial strategy?

Robin: My career journey has been a bit of an ironic push and pull. What I mean by that is, I’ve always been a high achiever. Back in my school days, getting straight A’s, being involved in all the extra-curriculars, excelling in college, starting a successful career. I basically set off climbing the corporate ladder right out of the gate. I was promoted to a management position pretty early, and then realized I didn’t like that role whatsoever.

I’m an extreme introvert, and am not a huge fan of dealing with people. I didn’t like having to micro-manage my direct reports (which was a requirement of the position, working in a call center). I quickly took a lateral out of that position, moving into IT.

Then the same story started playing out. I started getting tagged for opportunities in project management. So I decided to move sideways yet again, to the product development area.

That’s where I remain to this day, having acted in various capacities over the years. I’ve been with the same company for over 20 years, and they have treated me well. I’m able to work entirely from home, which gives me the flexibility to make the most of my strengths — written communication, organization, and process improvements.

I also do quite a bit of training and meeting facilitation. However, I’m able to do all of that virtually, which definitely benefits my introverted tendencies.

My career really has no tie-in to Side Jams — they’re almost like two separate and distinct personas. I’m dedicated to my day job, and then spend my non-work time on my side gigs, including my blog.

Although you can potentially say my existing skill set of workflow balance and prioritization does benefit all of the tasks required for maintaining and growing a successful blog.

As far as my overall financial strategy, the Side Jams themselves are a means to an end. The goal is to pay off my family’s debt, and be able to plan for a better future. Beyond that, I’d love to continue blogging and sharing my thoughts and ideas with others.

Working remotely

MSR: Have you found that working remotely has made retirement feel less urgent or helped you achieve other personal goals during the work week?

Robin: Working remotely has absolutely changed how I view work. Dealing with people one-on-one is mentally exhausting for me. And being in a group setting is 10x worse. But interacting with coworkers and peers from home is somehow more tolerable.

However, I really can’t depend on having this remote position forever, and need to plan for the possibility it may be taken away some day. One of my employer’s competitors recently revoked their work from home program. That’s a situation I hope to never encounter. But it would be reassuring to know I don’t have to depend on this position, if push comes to shove. And while it’s unlikely I’ll be able to retire early, maybe I can get to a point where I’m able to live happily on way less than what I’m making right now.

Wealth

MSR: What is your concept of wealth or financial success now, compared to your perception when you were growing up? What were the major influences that changed your view?

Robin: Growing up, I really had no true concept of money. I lived the early part of my life on Long Island, in New York. I grew up with both parents and one sister, living an upper middle class lifestyle. My dad was the sole breadwinner, having some sort of management position for a company that manufactured jet engine parts for the military. My mom didn’t work, but it wasn’t because she chose not to. Although I’m pretty sure she didn’t have to.

But the reason she didn’t work was because she had Multiple Sclerosis. Back then (late 70’s/early 80’s), there wasn’t much in terms of medical breakthroughs for MS. My dad brought her to dozens of doctors to try to find a cure. Nobody had any clue what caused it, or how to make it better. All I knew was that my mom couldn’t walk like everyone else’s could.

When I was growing up, we didn’t live extravagantly or anything like that. But I do recall getting pretty much anything I asked for. Even still, I didn’t ask for anything expensive. Mostly, I wanted pets. I more or less had a farm growing up — dogs, cats, bunnies, parakeets, gerbils, goldfish, newts — they all had cute names and compelling backstories. However I never learned a thing about money, how hard it was to earn, or how to manage it.

By the time I was in high school, money had become tight. My mom’s health had deteriorated quite a bit, and she was in and out of the hospital pretty often. Then when I was a high school senior, she passed away due to complications from pneumonia (exacerbated by the MS). And this happened while I was testing for my SAT’s.

Because of her long hospital stays, my family had amassed a large amount of medical debt. Then later that year, my dad lost his job. That’s when money really became an issue, and I actually started to notice the difference between having money and being broke. I’m sure I don’t know the full extent of the money issues we had, since my dad never shared that type of detail with me. But it was clear our budget had been cut down to bare bones, and I was unable to do things socially I used to be able to do.

The one bright side of the scenario was that I received a fairly large financial aid package, with my father being out of work. That, combined with various scholarships, allowed me to attend a private college with barely any money spent out of pocket. I worked through college, since my dad couldn’t send me much spending money. He had gotten another job, but it wasn’t making much, and he was still paying off medical bills. So I started supporting myself (knowing full well the benefit I’d received by not having to pay tuition).

But I still had no idea how to budget or manage the money I did have. And in my senior year, my college roommate introduced me to credit cards. Those wonderful little pieces of plastic that allowed me to buy whatever I wanted, and pay for it later. (Ugh).

Learning to manage money

Through the years, I’ve paid off and then re-accumulated credit card debt over and over and over. Every time I get the balance to zero and tell myself “Well, that is never going to happen again…”, I find myself 6 months later starting the same vicious cycle over again. This would usually happen because of a large bill or expense that wasn’t anticipated. Like a broken down car or medical bill. My family has historically been more reactive than proactive.

Roughly two years ago, I finally decided I was going to get us out of this predicament once and for all. I’ve been slowly chipping away at what I can, given my living situation.

Without getting into too much more detail, I was in a long-term relationship where our frivolous spending was the one thing we truly had in common. If we wanted something, we just bought it. I decided to change my mindset, however my partner could not be convinced (until recently). He firmly believed having debt was just a fact of life. And now we’ve decided to take separate paths, so are focusing on getting all of our combined debt cleared up as quickly as possible.

And that’s where I am today. Doing everything I can to pay off what remains of my consumer debt.

MSR: What are your long-term plans for after your debt is paid off?

Robin: Wow, so many possibilities!! But I will definitely start by pumping the extra money into my 401k & other investment accounts. While I did open my 401k many years ago, I’ve never contributed to it consistently, and have never maxed out the contributions. Planning for eventual retirement is definitely at the top of the list. I just want to be self-sufficient and secure in my financial future.

Advice

Mr. SR: When and if other bloggers present themselves as “having it all together,” have you found it challenging or discouraging to co-exist with them? How have you dealt with that?

Robin: I think many of us have played the comparison game — which never ends well! I’ve also struggled with impostor syndrome — feeling like I didn’t really deserve recent wins, or that I’ll never receive the amount of success others have seen. But honestly, you can’t let that get in the way of doing what you want to do. Because in all reality, no one has it all together — at least not 100% of the time.

All you can do is give it your best shot, and be your most authentic self. And at the end of the day, if you can look back on your journey with a smile on your face, then that’s your success right there.

MSR: What’s the most helpful book or blog post you’ve read recently?

Robin: Okay, I realize there are so many wonderful finance books out there that I would benefit from immensely. They are on my to-do list, and I plan to expand my financial knowledge as soon as possible. However, at this present time, I think it’s more important for me to focus on my personal and emotional mindset.

A book I recently read that has really stuck with me is called “Woman Last Seen in Her Thirties” by Camille Pagan. It’s basically about a middle-aged woman who is going through a divorce and realizes she’s spent most of her recent life fading into the background. She’s been taking care of everyone else, and has somehow become invisible to the world.

One of the most meaningful quotes I found in the book was: “How do we find ourselves again after we’ve devoted our prime years to the care and upkeep of others?”

That’s a perfect description of where my life is right now. Trying to find myself again, to become the person I was always meant to be.

So yes, definitely a work in progress. Financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically. But the good news is — everything is just going to get better and better.

MSR: Thank you for sharing your story with us, Robin! I enjoy following your blog and I’m glad to learn more about what you’re doing and what keeps you motivated.

The post Finding Balance — Sitting Poolside with Robin from Mastering the Side Jam appeared first on Semi-Retire Plan.

from Semi-Retire Plan https://ift.tt/33S6d6f via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Semi-Retire Plan

0 notes

aion-rsa · 6 years

Text

Captain Marvel: The Many Careers of Carol Danvers

https://ift.tt/2EHJPC0

What did Carol Danvers do before becoming Captain Marvel? A lot of different jobs...

facebook

twitter

google+

tumblr

Feature

Books

Delia Harrington

Marvel

Mar 7, 2019

Captain Marvel

Long before she became Captain Marvel, Carol Danvers kept busy with a whole litany of careers. She has worked for various real and fictional parts of the U.S. government, like the Air Force and Agents of SHIELD, and has teamed up with everyone from the X-Men and the Ultimates to the Starjammers and Operation: Lighting Storm. Whether in costume or not, Carol has always been one of Marvel’s hardest working heroes.

Filene’s Basement

Even (future) superheroes need after-school jobs. As a kid from a working-class family – in most of her incarnations – Carol needed to work for her pocket money and possible college funds. As a kid from the Boston area, Carol worked retail at the now-defunct local institution Filene’s Basement. I wish we could have seen her during the famed Running of the Brides!

Pilot, US Air Force

As a young girl, Carol Danvers always dreamed of being a pilot and flying to space. In spite of a tumultuous home life thanks to her alcoholic and sometimes abusive father, she got great grades and even went on to graduate as Valedictorian. Unfortunately, none of that mattered much because Carol’s father only had enough money to send one of his three kids to school, and he chose one of Carol’s less academically-inclined brothers. After all, a girl will be well taken care of once she finds a husband, Mr. Danvers reasoned.

read more: Captain Marvel Ending Explained

Heartbroken and pissed off but never one to give up, Carol enrolled in the Air Force as soon as she could as a way to pay for college and get in the air right away. She had a meteoric rise in the Air Force, rising the rank of Major (I guess Captain just sounds better?) Carol would rely on her military training for the rest of her life, piloting just about anything that flies and relying on her hand to hand combat training in her early days as Ms. Marvel.

At some unspecified point, Danvers was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor, the highest award that can be given to an individual serving in the US armed services for valor against an enemy force. Presumably, Carol earned it at some point during her service in the Air Force.

Spy

Before she worked at NASA, Carol Danvers fell into life as a spy after a failed mission left her grounded and introduced her to Agent Michael Rossi. At various times, she was referred to as working for the CIA, DIA (Defense Intelligence Agency) and USAF Special Operations (the Air Force’s intelligence service). Continuity error or ultimate deception to keep her cover? Tomato, tomahto.

Carol travelled the world in this capacity, going to places like Berlin, the USSR, Afghanistan and Uzbekistan. She worked with Nick Fury (before he was Director Fury or either of them even worked for SHIELD) and Agent Logan before he was Wolverine. At one point, Danvers was captured by a man named Ghazi Rashid when Tony Stark’s new plane didn’t live up to the promise of being invisible. He tortured her, but she outsmarted him and fought her way out, killing for the first time.

read more: Where Does the Captain Marvel Soundtrack Fit Into the MCU?

Her spy career eventually ended after a mission went sideways, resulting in Carol being trapped in the Soviet prison Lubyanka. Michael Rossi and Logan both broke protocol to rescue her, but she had been captured and tortured too many times and was done with the spy game.

NASA Security Chief

Carol was NASA’s youngest security chief when fans first met her 1963. She is sometimes said to work for the fictional Cape Kennedy, and other times Cape Canaveral, both of which are located in Florida. This job is how Carol first encountered Cavourite Crystals and of course Dr. Lawson, AKA the Kree warrior Mar-Vell.

read more: Captain Marvel Post Credits Scenes Explained

Mar-Vell had been sent to earth as a spy but wound up falling in love with the planet and its people, opting instead to protect them both. It was while working for NASA that Carol gained her powers, in an accident with a Psyche-Magnitron and the Kree villain Yon-Rogg, who was trying to attack Mar-Vell at the time.

Unfortunately, in the first few issues of Ms. Marvel (1977-1979), it was revealed that her inability to capture Mar-Vell had tanked her reputation at work. Carol later revisited NASA during her time travels, using her knowledge of the place to break in and achieve her aims.

Avenger

Carol has been a member of the Avengers in various incarnations on and off since her first solo series was cancelled in 1979. She even led the team alongside Tony Stark—though that didn’t stop her from later coming to blows with Tony and putting him in a coma in Civil War II.

As her popularity has risen, Captain Marvel has become a more central figure in various Avenger crossover events, like her prominent role as a pro-superhero registration enforcer alongside Tony Stark in the first Civil War, to the maybe-she’s-a-Skrull, maybe-she’s-not of "Secret Invasion." One of her best crossover events, and perhaps the clearest sign of her commitment to the Avengers and their mission, is The Enemy Within. Captain Marvel took center stage, dealing with a brain lesion that made using her powers detrimental to her own well-being, but ultimately vital to saving New York and her teammates.

Carol has made two notable exits from the Avengers. The first was after she emerged from being brain-washed by Marcus, a villain who then got her pregnant so she would… give birth to him? Yeah, it doesn’t make a whole lot more sense in the comic, but the worst part is that her fellow Avengers congratulated her on her rapid pregnancy and encouraged a very brainwashed Carol to leave with her captor. The Avengers viewed it as a happy ending rather than an abusive, mind-controlling relationship. When Carol was free of the mind control, she quit the Avengers, horrified and disgusted that her friends and teammates couldn’t see the situation for what it was.

read more: Captain Marvel Comics History & Origin Explained

Carol’s second exit was equally fraught, but for very different reasons. After a lifetime of trauma exacerbated by losing her god-like Binary powers, she hid her wavering powers and the alcoholism she used to cope from the rest of the team. As a result, Carol endangered her teammates. When she couldn’t admit that she had a problem or take responsibility for her actions, the Avengers held a court marshal and Carol quit before they could finish voting her out.

Author, freelance writer

After Carol left NASA, she spent a couple of years working as a freelance writer, including a high-profile piece about Diana Ross for Rolling Stone. She also found the time to write and sell a book on the space industry during this period. It did well enough that the royalties allowed her to afford a penthouse by Central Park.