#This wasn't meant to be a portfolio piece anyway but still

[ladyaster]

The RathLyn community doesn’t get much food so now I’m taking it upon myself to provide it. I hope you enjoy my humble offerings. XD

Night skies are fun to draw. ^w^ Hands are not. I think I spent two hours trying to get the hands right alone and then they still looked kinda weird and got covered by grass anyway. :(

Thank you for your time, hope you enjoy, and have a great day!

[glitchpirate]

It's 2023 and I'm still using the same template now 7 years in a row! Yippeee!

This year I decided to ramble about each artwork presented so uh. Storytime! Under the cut.

(Also usual reminder that now I have a GW2 side blog so that's where I'll upload GW2 artworks from now on -> @glitchgw2 (except the zine piece because I entered the zine with this blog))

January: I was going through a bit of an artblock, most of the things I drew this month were traced. One of the only things not traced was this Anassy! "Ah, etto... bleh!" I said after tracing the 5th drawing I saw on the internet.

February: a commission! Long overdue, but I finally finished it. Sylvaries are always tough to render. >.< The other things I drew this month were art party doodles and personal stuff.

March: one of the two months where the featured piece is the only thing I "finished" that month. And last minute, too! Made for trans visibility day which was on the very last day of March.

April: due to several things, Tyria Pride 2022's art commission giveaways got delayed to 2023. This was my piece for the person I was assigned to! ^_^ This was fun, I found out some new ways to render sylvari hair...

May: I vividly remember seeing a Diavolo art with this same reference and I was like hey. I could do this too but with Lucien. How haven't I done this before. P.S.: he's actually nothing like Bateman but it's a sick cover anyway lol. Mmm knife...

June: it was a sick (as in like epic) month for me. I reworked Dawn and Incendere (my Ghost OC), welcomed my unhinged self and drew a lot of nsfw. But not good nor holy enough to share. :P But it was a nice practice anyway. I chose one drawing of Dawn because out of everything I drew it looks the most "clean" and finished.

July: I remembered My Life as a Teenage Robot as I do tri-monthly and almost made an AU for Lucien. Almost. So instead I just made whatever this is. This was one of the most fun pieces I've ever did, I finally feel comfortable lining in CSP and just in general this was super shapey and smooth to work on. <3

August: Tyria Pride giveaway commission but this time, in time! I got to work on a lovely charr which I don't do often! My other choices would have been a cropped nsfw commission but I lowkey like this one better.

September: the other month where I didn't draw anything but this. Had a banger idea for Gliaster's future which is them becoming a lich but also being corrupted by malignant powers so they're now even more evil and also driven by vengeance towards the Commander and Aurene. Tried to come up with a design for them, alas this piece. It's... very in progress. But I like said progress so far.

October: the opportunity for an art related full-time job came up which meant I had to up my portfolio and draw some realistic/semi-realistic studies. I was surprised by myself lmao but ngl it was also a big pain in the ass. Art is suffering. <3

November: the continuation of October but now with an original piece! Felt like drawing one of my best friend's GW2 characters. <3 Haven't uploaded this one yet as I might rework the background sometime.

December: and finally, my piece for Commander Of Your Heart GW2 zine! Which wasn't actually restricted to only Commander characters, but any other OCs/player characters too, so of course I chose Gliaster. :D And we can apparently show teasers, so I can include this little bit! But what is Gliaster up to? Find out in February, for free!

*

Aaand that's it. It was actually super fun to look back to the year not only in pictures but some words too. :D If you read this all, I appreciate you, thank you so much. <3

[demonfuck]

thinking about making art that is patient

being the way that i am, this maybe kind of comes naturally to me

as a teen i found it interesting to make art with no audience in mind. as in, NO audience. it will sit on a server somewhere gathering dust

and it doesn't try to make you feel guilty for its isolation. it was never your responsibility to find it and interact with it and understand it. it's patient. it makes peace with itself

i'm happy with that process making it kind of timeless. there were never any references or details that demanded that it be read this week, or this year, or within this lifetime. i've always been fascinated by outsider art, including stuff that doesn't get found until after the artist has passed away

it makes MAKING art feel less urgent to me. to be able to make something, "put it out there", and then continue making it. i feel the URGE to get wrapped up in expectation and disappointment. to say, why did i make this if no one saw it? should i continue making it? if i continue making it, will resentment seep in to the text? what good are my good ideas if no one is looking at them?

i think there's a part of me that deliberately tries to avoid the pain of disappointment and unpopularity by expecting to be discovered long after my death. to say, well, wouldn't it be exciting if someone discovered my weird art blog or my unfinished book sometime in the future? i know of lots of comics and anime that have meant the world to me, that i didn't get to participate with in real time

still. it's all too possible to go too far with this sort of thing. i appreciate when this way of thinking let me work on art one piece after the next without stopping myself and forcing myself to try something different because this wasn't Doing Numbers. but doing it like this forever would cut me off from lots of wonderful experiences within my lifetime. to be able to learn what works and what doesn't. what's too difficult to parse, what's boring, what's annoying. unintentionally anyway. i don't mind making something difficult, boring, and annoying, but i rarely want to make something impossible to parse that puts you to sleep

when i was making art for myself, for my own needs, i'm glad i made it in a way that was criticism agnostic. and while i'd like to allow myself to maybe, advertise myself more, consider an audience more, i really want to retain the lessons i've learned in making patient art

idk. i want to push myself more this year ! because there's a major keystone of motivation in the back and forth conversation between audience and creator. i work faster when i know, specifically, that someone will see and respond to my work. and criticism plays a major role in becoming more effective at achieving whatever your art was meant to achieve. comforting someone, discomforting them, sharing a lesson, imparting a warning, or just helping them lose track of time safely in a world full of demands and danger

and then there's the money game. the "make something that will fund your next something" type game. make a portfolio of things that communicates what you're about, what your capable of now, that makes people imagine what you would make in the future if you're allowed to continue creating without starving to death. this basically runs in the opposite direction of my entire spiel about patient art, but i don't think it contradicts it. potentially, anyway

generally i think i've turned myself into that portfolio. when i talk to people, i'm showing them my Self as the thing i'm capable of. my problem solving, my comfort, my patience, my passion. i practice being valuable as a person and i hope sometimes that maybe that will be the avenue which sees my life get funded. "if you like talking to me today," i imply, "you should buy me dinner so that i am around to keep talking tomorrow!" is this normal? is this moral? join my patreon

[moki-dokie]

I wish I had the same tools and resources as other artists my age did in their formative years. I wish I had some of the tools I have now back then. I wish my brain worked like most people's and that I could visualize light sources and how it interacts with a subject. I wish I had the time and money to go take some real university art classes. I wish a severe years long battle with depression didn't rob me of creativity so badly that I lost what little skill I had. I wish I hadn't developed a bad tremor and twitch thanks to medication meant to fight that depression. I wish I had enough time in the day to actually do art how I want.

There's a ton of things I wish I could change, have, or do in regards to art. I'll never not be extremely envious of artists decades younger than me that are already so insanely skilled that they can pitch a portfolio to studios. I'll never not be jealous of peers my age that continue to grow and get even better at something they're already so good at.

But, at the same time, I've learned to be gentler on myself. I've forgiven myself for the things out of my control. And instead of staying stuck in an endless negative spiral and lamenting all the what-ifs and could-bes, I choose to go forward and make art anyway. I choose to have fun with it again, to doodle and experiment. I allow myself the freedom to start over and learn. I still don't have all the resources available to me that I wish I did but I won't let that stop me. It can still be extremely frustrating when I want to draw something and simply can't figure out how or when nothing turns out how it looks in my head, but it isn't the end of the world. I'll make something else, learn something new, and continue.

It's hard to start over in your mid 30s, but I'd rather do this than bang my head against a wall forever and hate everything I do to the point of not doing it at all. Finding the joy in creating again has been key. And sometimes that means sketching studies of cats for weeks on end because their anatomy is pleasing to work with and I can find myself learning while I'm at it, to the point that soon I won't need endless refs and I'll be able to draw them mostly from memory. Sometimes that means turning a funny meme into a full comic page just to challenge myself with expressions and panel layouts or to play around with color or grayscale. Sometimes it means leaving something I was working on for weeks or months and then coming back to it with a fresh perspective, new knowledge, and rekindled joy that made me start it in the first place. And, sometimes it's merely finding a bunch of tutorials and trying them out to see what happens.

It's crazy how much this ipad has really boosted my creativity. Not being tied to my PC is a huge bonus, as is the feeling of drawing on paper (bless paper like screen protectors!) And drawing directly on the surface. A stylus that behaves like an actual pencil (or pen, or brush, or whatever) has been tremendously rewarding and fun. I think a lot of my frustrations before were purely because I just didn't have the right tools. My Wacom was a piece of shit that only worked with sai which wasn't ideal. This is miles better, I really can't even describe it.

Anyway all this to say that if you're struggling with your art, it's ok. Be kinder to yourself, cut yourself some slack, and maybe just doodle pages and pages of silly looking cats for the hell of it. Whatever brings some measure of joy.

[grimacingheron]

I made art! Again! Inspired by a friend who did a similar thing I just chose a more questionable colour palette. :) I will say, though, I am enjoying the Halloweenish theming.

Anyway, gaze upon...

HIM! :D

Finger guns!

(Beyond this point is about the design and the songs I chose.)

This is, I kinda consider him an original character at this point, but he's probably, more accurately, an avatar or persona.

I call 'im Grimace because I'm a lad with a shtick now. This is actually the first complete piece I've done of him that shows his bottom half.

He used to not have pants. Be grateful. /j

He's purple and furry because I want to be soft(not a Furry). I also enjoy giving him facial fur, perhaps to emulate a beard/stubble I don't have. Look at his hairy shoulders and elbows. :)

I also really enjoy his ears. The goat/lamb ears are my favourite kind of animal ear, so, of course, a creature meant to represent me in some distant way would have parts I enjoy. Also also, it's not just an art style, he really has no nose. :)

And his tail! I started drawing tails like that when I was drawing my friends as Dreamworks Trolls trolls. I love tails and now that I'm given Grimace a bottom half outside of my Minecraft skin, he has a tail. He also doesn't wear shoes. You can see probably the best bare foot I've ever drawn if you squint behind the song list.

Speaking of the song list, that went through such heavy filters in my mind it's a wonder I scrounged up three of them. "The Fall" by Half Alive was easy, it's been stuck in my head every other day for a couple weeks now. Top tier song. It gets me. "Tell Me You Know" by Good Kid was also pretty easy because it took a couple of times to fully understand, but once I did, I felt it, y'know? I, too, want to fall of the face of the Earth and hope someone'll come looking for me.

Now, picking a third song was struggle. I finished reading "Hell Followed With Us" and for the first, like, six? Hours of this drawing I listened to a Spotify playlist based on the book. It put me in an righteously angry mood. I wanted to put some songs, but I wasn't sure if it was because they were my favourite or I just wanted to convey my vaguely religious queer rage to anyone who saw this piece.

Some of the runner-ups(that're still hella banger): "You're Nobody Till Somebody Wants You Dead" and "To My Enemies" by Saint Motel, any Glass Animals song, "The Sailor Song" by Autoheart, "EVIL" by Melanie Martinez, "Kiss Me, Son of God" by They Might be Giants, "Saint Bernard" by Lincoln.

D'you see my issue? Too many good songs. If y'all would like a playlist(or you give me a playlist?), let me know.

Anyway, this is going in my portfolio of examples for when I set up commissions. I wanna draw for money. :)

Thank you for reading. Don't steal my art. <3

[machiavelien]

Hi, I hope you're having a nice weekend. Do you have a fic recs for Spider-Woman MJ based on your sweet new art on ao3?

Thanks nonny, hope you're enjoying your weekend, too! It's not new / I'm just uploading some work from Tumblr to AO3, but my Spider-Woman MJ x No-bite Peter piece goes well with the old rules don't fly anymore by @i-lovethatforme, which is FFH but if MJ had gotten bitten -- spoiler: she's still a Spider-disaster with one brain cell and a massive crush :))))

I had started a similar fic but it's in WIP purgatory now -- have a snippy anyway <3

Those two nerds were at it again, probably whispering to each other about Spider-Woman and their latest theories about her superpowers or secret identity.

Peter and Ned were the closest things MJ had to friends at Midtown, but that doesn't make their incessant gossiping any less annoying or, if she's being honest, terrifyingly accurate at times.

Hitching her art portfolio up under her arm, she marches over towards them, intent on giving them a little scare.

Except as she gets closer, she can hear their conversation and it's definitely not about Spider-Woman—well, technically it is, but they don't know that.

"She’s awesome," Peter sighs dreamily, "she’s funny in a sort of dark way, and sometimes I catch her looking at me…"

MJ gulps. She wasn't supposed to hear that, but her legs won't stop moving and she continues careening towards the table where Peter and Ned are sitting, helpless to stop her momentum.

"What up, dorks? Excited about the science trip?" she interrupts, pretending she didn't just overhear them talking before.

"Hey, uh, yeah!" Peter replies quickly, cutting Ned off from saying something. "We’re just talking about the trip."

"Yeah, and Peter’s plan," Ned grins.

"You have a plan?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I don’t-I don't have a plan," Peter stammers, eyes darting at Ned, who attempts some poor excuse about collecting tiny spoons and actually winks back.

Peter stares daggers back at his friend, then glances back up at MJ, nodding in agreement.

"Oh. Okay, well...that was a real roller coaster," she frowns. Then she hesitates, wanting to leave on a droll note instead of whatever that was. "By the way, travel tip: You should probably download a VPN on your phone, just so that the government can’t track you while we’re abroad."

Good job, Jones. Way to show off your tinfoil-hat side to the only people who don’t think you’re a complete psycho.

Before Peter can reply, MJ rushes off with her art portfolio clamped under her arm, knuckles white as she grips the edges, heart pounding.

Does Peter Parker like her? She's pretty sure he was talking about her, but what if he meant some other girl with a dark sense of humor?

The thought of that annoys her—not in a jealous way exactly, but maybe a little bit.

She's been watching him for a while actually, and she selfishly doesn't want anyone else to notice Peter Parker—at least, not in the way she has. Which sounds possessive and weird, so she decides to drop the entire train of thought and avoid thinking about Peter Parker for the rest of the day.

[weirdestsweetheart]

DETACHED(IWAOI)

Also available on Wattpad and AO3

_______________________________________

(It's for you all to imagine how Iwaizumi looks after time skip in this story ^^)

16 November

4:47 pm

The shuffling of papers, clicking noise of mouse, rustling of folders on the table, whirring of printer somewhere far, the working of coffee machine had filled this place for years. Amidst it, a clink sound rolled in to Iwaizumi's ears and he caught a glimpse of the cup that was placed on his table before looking back at his workstation.

"Aren't you going to take a break?" The man dragged one chair from the other table and sat next to Iwaizumi, "You are over doing it again."

"This is last anyways." Iwaizumi squinted his eyes, focused on the screen. "Sarukui did you finish editing those pictures of the Fukurōdani Model Agency's?" He asked to the man, eyes still focused intensely on the screen.

"Yeah, just finished it in the morning." Sarukui yawned, "Had to stay awake all night to do it."

"Good." Iwaizumi said, "And printed?"

"Not yet, though I have send them the final product." Sarukui's eyes started getting watery, lack of sleep was now coming to him.

"You sound more tired than me." Iwaizumi chuckled, "Why don't you go home early today?"

A relaxed smile crossed Sarukui's face, "I'd appreciate that, thanks."

"It's not a-"

"OH GOSH IWAIZUMI I HAVE A REALLY GREAT NEWS FOR US!" A very loud shouted approached them, the voice of that person was known to Iwaizumi, ofcourse he would know, he heard them everyday but the this big excitement was new. This finally made Iwaizumi to look away from his work station.

"What is it Komori?"

"WE JUST GOT THIRTY NEW REGISTRATIONS!" He said with clear exhilaration, his hand repeatedly flipping the papers in his hands as he couldn't contain the excitement.

"Man, and here I thought someone big happened."

"Oh shut up Ennoishita." Komori smile didn't waver at all and looked at the man who was on the table beside Iwaizumi's doing his own work in his workstation. "You don't know anything."

"Yeah yeah." Ennoishita kept doing his work.

"Isn't that great Iwaizumi-san?" Komori asked, Iwaizumi himself thought it wasn't that great of a news since they were getting more registration lately but thirty registerations together was for the first time. Instead of saying his first thoughts he just smiled and said yes.

"See even Iwaizumi-san agrees." Komori had a smug smile and looked over at Ennoishita who rolled his eyes completely having that idea in which perspective Iwaizumi said yes.

Iwaizumi shook his head and resumed his work on editing the final piece for his portfolio. He did have this in the back of his mind to start his portfolio which was six years ago, he even had his few photos ready to put in it but after what happened at that time, he just gave up since the photos he had were of someone he didn't even want to see the face of. But he decided to make one after being able to again find his interest in photographing, capturing someone particular's life that meant the world to him.

He saved his last edit and cracked all the stress from his fingers and smiled at the picture.

'You are so beautiful.' He mouthed and put his computer in stand by mode. He took the coffee which had turned cold and drank it in one sip.

"Woah, woah, slow down." Sarukui said, he was now standing and ready to go home to get some rest. "That's not a shot."

"I am not a big fan of cold coffee." Iwaizumi put of the mug on his table and stretched his body hearing more cracking of his bones. He felt a lot relaxed and sleepy after stretching. "Never liked drinking one."

He also didn't like it.

He shook his head and took his phone and made his way to the hall to check upon the others while dialing a call to his home.

"Hello?"

"How's Tori doing?" He asked as he walked upstairs, he couldn't spend a lot time at home these days due to his thought of starting his portfolio. "I hope she is not troubling you a lot."

"Nope, I am having a lot of fun today. Right now she is sleeping."

Iwaizumi smiled to himself, he stood outside the hall and had his hand placed on the knob. He really wanted to go home but he knew he had to do his job also.

"When she wakes up tell her to be ready for dinner, tell her we are going out for it."

"Oh she will be so excited, afterall you finally got some time to be with her after so many days."

"Yup." He said popping the "p" for emphasis, "Alright, call me if there is any emergency all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Bye."

Iwaizumi twisted the knob while keeping his phone in his pocket and entered the room. The hall's roof was pretty low, the cabinet's were filled with photography equipment which were used mostly by the people who were learning photography but didn't have cameras. The floor shined under the light that fall upon it from the ceiling, Iwaizumi had once slipped on the very same tiles.

"How's everything going?" Everyone's attention fell upon him as he walked and looked at them making everyone's face to light up.

"Good afternoon Iwaizumi-san." They all said in unison, voice expressed how they like the spiky haired's presence. Iwaizumi smiled and walked to one person who was demonstrating a new person - a boy - about the fundamentals of working with a camera.

"Akaashi." Iwaizumi called out and the raven haired boy looked up who patted the boy's shoulder and walked to Iwaizumi.

"Yes Iwaizumi-san?"

"About the Inarizaki Model Agency, that new person had gone for the photoshoot, what his name was?" Iwaizumi tried recalling that person's name, hand placed on chins thinking hard, he snapped his fingers, finally remembering the name, "Suna! That guy, I saw his work and they were pretty good and I heard he got his degree from California."

Akaashi nodded, "He's a very talented guy, Iwaizumi-san. No wonder Inarizaki hired him as their photographer for the shoot."

"I was stunned too, Inarizaki Model Agency is pretty fastidious in terms of hiring a photographer." Iwaizumi stated, "So, about the photoshoot, it was about to end today, right?"

"Actually they extended their photoshoot due to which they did inform us and I am sure you might have got the email but if not then I got one and was just about to come to you and tell that." Akaashi replied, "They said they will pay for the over time, as their agent told on the call."

Iwaizumi nodded slowly. This means he won't have extra work of editing the pictures, he can finally go home now and have some time with his family. "Is that so, alright then."

"And yes." Akaashi's spoke up, remembering something, "There was this person, his name is Hanamaki Takahiro, he is a travelling photographer and he is pretty famous in social medias."

Iwaizumi nodded telling him to continue.

"Today I got his email and it said that he wanted to join our agency telling that he want to learn about fashion and potrait photography, he will be here tomorrow." Akaashi told him making Iwaizumi mind to fill with many questions.

"Why does he want to change his style all of a sudden?" He asked.

"Dunno, I think it's related to some model that is coming in Japan next month."

"Who?" Iwaizumi asked.

"I really have no idea what is the name of the model but just heard that he is pretty famous one, he is Japanese though."

Iwaizumi frowned, how come he didn't know about this famous Japanese model but then it struck to him. After how much had happened in his life in these past years he got so preoccupied with his work just to forget this one person resulting him to live a life that wasn't connected with the world where he also belong.

He sighed, thinking it was now time to start connecting with the world, maybe start by downloading some social media apps.

"If that person comes tomorrow, tell him to meet me in the office." Iwaizumi moved his body towards door, "I will be there whole day tomorrow."

Akaashi nodded and Iwaizumi walked out of the room. Today it was a lot colder than other days that Iwaizumi had to wear an extra jacket before going to his car. When he stepped out he realised how much colder it was outside. He catiously walked to his car, trying not to fall on the frozen ice. When he got on in his car he removed extra clothes and put his head on the headrest and closed his eyes.

Iwa-Ch-

He opened his eyes before he could hear the whole word in his mind. It's been six years and it still feels like it was yesterday when he disappeared, but Iwaizumi also didn't try to find him knowing that it won't change a thing.

He started the car and drove off to his home.

6:34pm

Iwaizumi parked his car and took his clothes and stepped out of his car, carrying the keys and his clothes he trudged to the main door and opened it and removed his shoes after closing it.

"I am home." He said as he placed his shoes in the rack.

"Papa!"

Iwaizumi's all exhaustion vanished as he heard the small footsteps of his little girl.

"Come here." He opened his arms and caught her in a hug as she jumped on him with a chortle that turned into a giggle when Iwaizumi started tickling her. "How was my princess' day at kindergarten?"

"It was amazing!" She pulled away from the hug and smiled brightly at him, "We did dancing!"

"Really?" Iwaizumi picked her in his arms and walked in the home, "What did you do?"

Iwaizumi could see how excited she was to tell everything to him which made his heart swell with happiness, he saw Emiko standing against the door frame of the kitchen. Iwaizumi waved at him and bowed his head to show his gratitude.

"Save that for later Hajime." She took his coat and wore it, "Treat me with something later." Emiko waved at Tori before walking out of the house.

Iwaizumi sat on the couch and Tori climbed out from his arm, jumping with excitement to show what she learned today.

"See, see, see, see." She jumped.

"Yeah, yeah, show me." He laughed seeing her enthusiasm. Tori got in the position and started doing some steps, Iwaizumi tilted his head trying to understand what she was trying to do? It was until the next move that made him realise what she was doing when she did a pirouette or tried doing one.

"How was it!" She stopped and looked at him with big eyes sparking with anticipation.

"You did great." Iwaizumi said, "What is the dance, ballet?"

Tori shook her head, "That lady said something else also."

"So it's not ballet?" He asked, Tori walked to him and sat on his lap and again shook her head.

"She said the word ballet but she said a big word before that." Tori said and Iwaizumi wondered what would it be. He is fully sure that she tried doing pirouette, but isn't that in ballet?

"It started 'C'." Tori added which made Iwaizumi to hold his breath.

"Was it..." He started, "... contemporary?"

Tori started nodding furiously, "Yeah, yeah, yeah! That word, contenpory." Tori tried the word, "Contempory." She again felt like it was wrong.

"Papa! What was the word!" Tori asked making Iwaizumi to come back to present.

"Yeah!" He looked at her daughter who had a small pout on her lips, brows furrowed as she stared at him.

"What were you thinking?" She asked not breaking the eye contact. Iwaizumi blinked and looked away, he took a deep breath and put up on a facade. He looked at her and smiled.

"Just thinking what we will have for dinner."

Tori jumped and hugged her dad and ran.

"Where are you going?" Iwaizumi asked, concerned that she would trip and hurt herself.

"I am going to change Papa!" She shouted, "I have to appear all lady like when I pull the chair for you!"

Iwaizumi blinked and was shocked, from where did she learn all that, he asked himself. He looks at the direction and tells himself that he doesn't want her to grow up that quickly.

8:17pm

"I would like a table for two." Iwaizumi said and the lady on the reception looked at him and he knows what she was thinking.

"Papa! Pick me up!"

The receptionist looked down and she fought back the urge to coo at the sight.

Tori was wearing the frock Iwaizumi and she bought when they went for their little shopping. Iwaizumi had his suit on, he has always liked this type of dinner with her daughter where he teaches her how man should treat her, already keeping the bar too high for anyone to break, he doesn't want his princess to leave him with some guy.

The receptionist had a big smile before she showed them their seat.

"Papa, put me down." Iwaizumi did so and Tori ran to the seat the lady showed and pulled the chair, "Today you sit first."

Iwaizumi smiled widely before sitting on the seat and watched Tori as she walked to her chair and tried her best to sit. Iwaizumi got up and Tori stopped her.

"I am a big girl Papa, I can do this." She said and jumped on her seat and wiggled to sit comfortably and flashed a grin to his dad who laughed at her cuteness.

"Oh god," He breathes, "I love you so much."

Tori blowed kisses with her both her hands, "I love you too Papa!"

Iwaizumi took a deep breathe, no matter how tired he is, or how frustratingly life becomes, his princess is always there for him to light up his world.

"Let's order then." Iwaizumi said.

"I'll order!" The waiter hands Tori the menu and smiles. "Usual?" She looks up at her dad and tilts her head, Iwaizumi nods.

"We'll have one oyakodon, two miso soup, one udon and one soba noodles and, and two ice creams!"

Iwaizumi chest swells with pride and the waiter notes everything with a smile, "We'll get your order."

"No hurry." Tori says and the waiter and Iwaizumi both broke into a fit of laughter which they had to control because the other people were giving them looks.

Iwaizumi bowed to apologise and looked back at Tori and smiled widely.

"Aren't you a lot lady like today?"

"I was always lady like Papa." She says and Iwaizumi chuckles.

"About the dance, Papa. I want to learn that." Tori started doing those poses and Iwaizumi almost let his smile fell but he regained his tranquility.

"Contemporary dance?"

Tori nods.

"Sure." He drinks the water to soothe his dry throat, "I'll get you registered in a nice dancing school, hmm?"

"Thank you Papa!" Tori smiles widely and Iwaizumi melts.

"Anything for you my princess."

Iwaizumi feels happy to see his daughter smiling but something in his heart makes him feel wretched. He knows where this is coming from, he really wishes something could stop this. He wants to forget everything about him but everything reminds him of that person who he detest the most and sadly loves the most.

No.

He loves his daughter the most. Yes, he can't possibly love that bastard, can he?

He tries to efface all those thoughts and concentrates only on his dinner with her daughter.

She is her world now, only she.

But every night Iwaizumi finds himself thinking about that man before closing his eyes to sleep, and sees him in his dreams whenever he closes his eyes.

The world just seems to remind him of that person.

[worldsentwined]

wip meme: the inventor and the imager?

Oooh, so this is actually the novel I started during my...third? NaNoWriMo. It's the sequel to The Waif and the Urchin Queen which was my second NaNo project, though both of them are actually pulled from my first NaNo project after I realized it had grown past the confines of a single book. Since this is from so early in my post-school writing years, it's...kinda rough? And full of problems that make it unlikely I'll ever fully finish it as-is, though I may raid it for ideas. The biggest issue with it is that I created this group of people called Imagers who lived in a tower and had magic related to making art...and then I discovered there's a fantasy series called the Imager Portfolio which centers around...a group of people called Imagers who live in a tower and have magic related to art. I read the first one and it's VERY different from what I was writing, but I doubt that would save me if I ever tried to publish it.

Anyway, this book splits its time between Chiele, an Imager novice who very much does not want to be one, and Felix, the son and heir of a wealthy merchant house who would much rather blow stuff up invent a flying machine. Here's an excerpt (under a cut because past!me was even more verbose than current me)

No matter how off-course Felix's social compass pointed, there was nothing wrong with his sense of direction. In short order he was a safe distance from the crowds of flirting debutantes and past the secluded bowers where couples drowned each other in declarations of ardor. The farther he went, the wilder the garden grew. Soon concealing trees guarded both shoulders of the path and he wandered alone within their shadows. Then the path ground to a halt, and so did Felix. He had reached a stone wall. A shiver crept up his spine. This far from the house, there was only one reason to encounter a wall. He had found the border between Madam Limberton's property and her neighbors'.

Ordinarily, Felix did not much care about whose lands bordered whose. Most of the Trade Council owned estates so vast that neighbors meant little. But everyone knew about the Limberton estate's unusual location. It was far enough from the Citadel proper that it struck the border no Trade Council member had ever crossed: the stronghold of the Imagers.

Everyone knew of the reclusive grey-robed order, but no one knew much about them. They held a considerable amount of power, but none could say precisely what that power entailed or how they came to have it. They were partially responsible for the riot of color and pattern among the Trade Council Society, from what Felix could gather. By the Imagers' decree, no one could make any kind of representational images. Patterns were acceptable - this was how the Rhodrim family crest was allowed, since it was not precisely an image of a gear, but rather a gear-like form that became a spiral. Actual pictures of real things, whether done in paint or pencil or embroidery floss, were forbidden. Denied that pleasure, the lights of Society set about packing as many of the allowed colors and patterns into their wardrobes as they could. They saw it as an expression of their individuality, a sign that the Imagers had no hold over them. Felix saw it as an act of desperation.

Felix had never seen an Imager for himself. He knew they haunted certain parts of the Citadel, making sure there were no illicit "imaging" activities taking place. They came to the Rhodrim house once, when Felix was quite small, but he was stricken with a violent case of influenza and they did not look into his room. So they lived in his head as a mystical force, vaguely interesting but also unreal. Until now, when he stood facing their wall with an almost-working model flying machine in his hands.

For a moment Felix studied his device, turning it this way and that to see if all the pieces were still functioning. He wasn't sure about the pressure release valve, but everything else seemed in order. The story he gave Madam Limberton earlier about needing better wing materials was probably true, but he had exaggerated the level of work that was still needed. It might not go far, but it could certainly fly. His eyes rose of their own accord and studied the wall. It was not as high as the stories made it seem; perhaps two feet taller than his raised arms. He looked back at the device. Then at the wall. Slowly, he began to wind the flying machine's key.

The first flight was pure joy. Felix watched the machine's glimmering arc and for a moment his heart flew with it. Then the descent from euphoria; the metal wings twitched and the whole contraption came plummeting down. It landed softly on the grass though, for the outstretched wings seemed to slow its fall. Felix ran to inspect it. No damage that he could see, just a few adjustments needed. He pulled a screwdriver from another hidden pocket and prodded his masterpiece gingerly. It clicked, vibrated, and the wings resumed their former motion. Felix wore the grin of a parent whose child has just done something especially clever. He checked the fuel reservoir; there was enough for one more flight. He eyed the wall again. The decision came easily; in a way, it felt like he had been planning on this all along. Building the device, sneaking it to the garden party, wandering to the Imagers' wall...all of it led up to this moment. With a final admiring glance at his machine, Felix turned and faced the wall head-on. "Best of luck, my flyer," he said, "you're going where no Rhodrim has gone before". Then he launched the flying machine at the wall and watched it soar.

This is one of my better ideas, he thought, basking in the glow of having made something that actually worked. No one can say I'm the dim one in the family now, can they? They can't ignore this. The satisfaction lasted for just as long as it took the device to wing its way over the wall and disappear. Then came the sinking heart. Oh. I've just had another brilliant idea. If I attached a rope to the flying machine, I could get it back from the other side of the wall. Something on the wall's far side made a "clank" sound, then a cacophony of metallic crashes that did not bode well. Felix sighed. If only I'd had that idea before the one about sending the machine over there. Oh well. Guess I'd better see if I can climb one of these trees.

As it happened, there were a number of trees with branches low enough for Felix to climb. This far from the Limberton house it seemed that the gardeners did not bother to prune; it was the work of moments to climb high enough to see the top of the wall. After much testing of branches and one precarious moment when he thought he might meet the same noisy end as his machine, Felix crouched on the wide stone. Now that he was out of the tree's concealing branches, he could see down into the courtyard on the other side of the wall. Two things immediately caught his attention.

The first was his flying machine, crumpled on the ground in a heap. One of its wings still flapped in merry disregard for its helpless predicament. The other was torn from its socket and lay on the flagstones a few feet away. And on the subject of feet, there were a pair of boots standing a breath from the disembodied wing. One toe tapped impatiently. What is it about this machine, Felix wondered, that attracts girls' feet? For this was the second interesting thing, of course. There was a girl standing over his machine, looking down at it with her head tilted to the side. A cloud of long, pale hair hid her expression, but Felix supposed she was as startled as he was. He had thought he might see an Imager; after all, he was in the process of invading their stronghold. But somehow it had never occurred to him that Imagers could be so young. She couldn't be any older than Felix was, and yet there was no mistaking it - she wore the grey robe of an Imager. Even her boots were grey.

Then her head snapped up to stare at him, and Felix discovered her eyes were grey as well. Not the washed-out, lifeless non-color of her clothing, but a deep pool of smoke. A thunderstorm brewed in her eyes. A panicked part of Felix thought of diving back over the wall and running, but the girl spoke before he had the chance.

"Who are you, and what on earth are you doing on top of that wall? Are you responsible for this?"

Before he could answer, the flying machine exploded.