#Tomorrow I’ll see if I can make a full apology post

[sanarsi]

We Have It All

pre/post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: You and Joel were separated by the outbreak. Warnings: angst but with happy ending, mention of killing, use of weapon Wordcount: 3k An: I've always wondered what it would be like to experience the start of the outbreak as someone close to Joel, which is why we are here. Music I worked with: We Have It All - Pim Stones

Masterlist

"My flight got canceled," you sighed, throwing your clothes carelessly into your suitcase. You were furious. All your plans were gone to hell. "I'm sorry, baby."

"You don't have to apologize to me," Joel's amused voice echoed in your ear. You winced, still feeling guilty.

"I know, but I wanted us to spend your birthday together," you said calmly and sat down heavily on the bed. "Sarah and I were supposed to make a cake and humiliate you by singing happy birthday in front of the house." Joel snorted with laughter. You smiled to yourself, anxiously picking at your cuticles.

"Yeah, that sounds awful." You fell silent, staring blankly at the floor. "Babe, it's not the end of the world. We can celebrate my birthday when you get there," he assured you, knowing full well that you felt bad about how the whole situation had turned out. "I won't get any older in a few days," he added with amusement. You snorted quietly.

"I don't know. I recently found one gray hair."

"What?" he asked suddenly concerned.

"I'm joking," you laughed at his reaction. You heard him breathe heavily. "I booked tickets for tomorrow's flight."

"Then we'll pick you up from the airport. Sarah can't wait." In the background you could hear a cheerful screams of a girl. "She misses you," he added, making you feel warm in your heart. Joel always knew how to cheer you up. "I miss you too," he said more quietly, with different emotions. With real longing. You felt something inside you clench.

"Fuck you, Joel. You can't say things like that to me when I'm on the verge of a breakdown," you pointed out, smiling under your breath. His laughter echoed in your ear again.

“Yeah, sorry babe.” You could hear some chatter in the background. After a moment you heard Joel sigh heavily. “We have to go. Sarah’s gonna be late,” he said in his typical tired tone. You nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” You could hear some murmurs in the background. “I love you.”

“Love you, old man.” His snort brought a wider smile to your face.

“Lovely,” he commented, probably rolling his eyes before he hung up.

You pushed your phone away with a quiet sigh. The screen displayed a wallpaper with a picture of the three of you on vacation a few months ago. You smiled at the memories that flooded your head. You looked around the hotel room and then fell back onto the mattress. You cursed the whole world for today, all your plans went to hell.

Today, of the whole fucking year.

Meanwhile, Joel was sitting in the car, looking at a small ring in a navy blue suede box. A few diamonds sparkled in the sunlight. Tommy glanced at his brother with a smirk.

"So when are you going to propose?" he asked, and Sarah's head immediately appeared between their seats.

"I wanted to do it today," he sighed, closing the box and putting it in his pocket. "But as you can see, it'll have to wait."

He glanced at Tommy and his daughter, then rolled his eyes at their stupid smiles.

"What?" he asked when they didn't say anything for a long time.

"Nothing. I'm just happy for you," Tommy replied with a shrug. Joel didn't comment on his words.

"Will she have the same last name as us?" Sarah asked.

"I hope so," Joel agreed, looking out the window.

"Cool. I'll be able to call her my mom," she said happily, and fell back into her seat.

And Joel couldn't help but smile a little at the vision she planted in his head.

In the middle of the night, you were woken up by loud noises. You mumbled in dissatisfaction, turning towards the window. You winced when you saw any lights. After a moment, you heard an explosion. You woke up immediately, throwing the blanket aside and went to the window.

A few blocks away, you could see that one of the buildings was on fire. You watched it calmly until another explosion engulfed another skyscraper, this time closer to your hotel. The silence was drowned out by car alarms and people's screams.

Your first thought was a terrorist attack.

You felt a surge of stress, observing everything from a distance. The loud sound of several fighter jets cut through the sky, catching your attention. And then the first shot came.

You watched in horror as more buildings in the city center burst into flames. You swallowed hard, tightening your fingers on the curtain. And then the loud sound of the phone ringing echoed through the room.

You almost jumped on the spot, turning towards the bed. The screen lit up the dark room. You quickly answered the call, seeing Joel's photo.

"Hello?" you spoke, swallowing the lump in your throat. Someone's curses and murmurs could be heard on the other end.

"Hello? Baby, are you okay?" Joel's breathless voice rang out in your ear. You immediately looked towards the window and felt your pulse quicken.

"Y-yes, I'm okay. Joel, what's going on?" you asked, looking out at the city. Another explosion. You flinched, looking towards the building that was in flames. Just a few dozen meters away. A quiet curse sounded on the phone. "Joel?" you spoke uncertainly.

"We don't know. There's a lot of soldiers everywhere. They've blocked the highways."

With each word he spoke, you felt more and more panic.

Another thought was war.

"They say it's some kind of virus. People are going crazy and attacking each other like animals."

You looked down at the street where people were running. Screams mixed with the howl of sirens. Your breath trembled as you moved away from the window.

“Joel, I’m scared,” were the first words you said after realizing how bad things were. If it was happening here and in Texas, then it was everywhere.

And you were alone on the other side of the country.

“Listen to me,” he began calmly. You began to breathe deeply to control your growing fear. “Grab the most necessary things. Get in the car and drive out of town on the side roads. You need to get out of the city center, do you understand?” he explained slowly so you could understand every word. You mumbled something in confirmation. “Baby, I need you to take a few deep breaths and do as I said. You need to get out of town. As soon as possible.”

"Okay," you said, feeling your stomach tighten painfully. You looked around the room in panic and then another explosion occurred. That's when you shook yourself. You quickly moved towards your suitcase and started putting on your clothes.

"Stay off the country roads," he continued explaining as you put on your sneakers. You went to your locker and threw everything into your bag in one move.

"Okay," you nodded, grabbing your car keys. You left the hotel room and looked around the hallway until you saw a sign for an emergency exit. You quickly headed in that direction.

"Tommy and I are going for Sarah."

"What?" you stopped, frowning. "She's not with you?" Silence fell on the other end. You looked at your phone to check the time. It was the middle of the night and Sarah was home alone. How on earth?

"I had to get Tommy out of the arrest," he finally spoke. You closed your eyes, sighing heavily.

Of course it was always about Tommy.

You shook your head and headed down the stairs. You had to get to the underground parking lot. You ran out the door, looking around. It was quiet here. You quickly got into your car and looked around like it was your first time driving. After a few tries and a few panicked curses, you finally got the key in the ignition and screeched to the exit.

You looked around the street before you pulled out onto the road and turned on the navigation. You looked around nervously in every possible direction as you started driving through different housing estates.

"I should be leaving the city in a few minutes," you said, driving more carefully than usual. The further you got from the center, the quieter it was. Fewer and fewer police sirens and people.

"Okay, baby, listen," he started slowly. "Head toward Kansas."

"Okay," you nodded, swallowing hard.

"We'll meet exactly halfway, yeah?"

"Okay," you nodded again, feeling your voice start to shake.

"I will find you," he assured you. He wanted to sound confident. He wanted you to feel safe because of him. But his voice trembled as well.

"Okay," you said again, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.

"I will find you, I promise," he repeated. You nodded, feeling tears start to flow down your cheeks. You pressed your lips together to hold back a sob. "I lo-"

Silence.

You looked at your phone in panic.

"Joel?" you said, but no one answered you.

You felt panic shake your body. You began to breathe quickly, trying to fight off more and more tears.

It wasn't until you passed the sign informing you to leave the city that you felt adrenaline take over your body. You rubbed your wet cheeks and took a few deep breaths.

"You will be fine," you said confidently and pressed the gas pedal, leaving the burning city behind you.

One year later.

You looked at the map again and cursed under your breath, looking around.

Everywhere fucking forests and fields.

With a sigh, you put the map in your backpack and slowly set off through the tall grass. There was silence all around. The wind gently moved the treetops and the birds sang merrily. Nothing had changed here. Nature continued to live as if nothing had changed at all.

But everything had changed.

The world had stopped and started to fall apart.

At least for those who had managed to survive.

You were one of those people.

You had been fighting to survive for a year. Starving, fighting and killing. Who would have expected that? If someone had told you a year ago what you would become, you would have thought they were mentally ill.

And yet, you were where you were. Which was currently in the middle of fucking nowhere.

After a few hours, you were sitting by a small stream, filling a bottle with cold water. As usual, you took the opportunity to wash your body of dirt. If you could even call it that. At least you didn't feel everything sticking to your skin so you considered it as a success.

You sat leaning against a tree, looking at the map, waiting for the fire to fry the fish you had caught sufficiently. You traced the path you had to take to cross the Missouri-Kansas border with your finger.

You still had a long way to go. But you had already come a lot further. You were getting closer to the goal that had kept you alive for a year.

You knew Joel was alive. You could feel it in your bones.

Joel was a tough motherfucker.

He certainly wouldn't let himself be killed and he was on his way to Kansas.

If he wasn't already waiting for you there.

That's what you hoped.

The next few days passed on a lonely journey. Your legs hurt terribly, but you had gotten used to it. You had gotten used to many things. But it probably took you the longest to get used to the smell.

Another sunset was approaching as you slowly walked along the dirt road kicking a small stone. The sky turned orange as you left the road and headed towards the forest. You had learned that it was safest to sleep in trees. Even though you hadn't seen a living soul in weeks, you were always prepared. No one ever looked up when looking for potential threats. So when you found a suitable thick tree, you began preparing ropes.

You were concentrating on tying knots when suddenly the sound of a branch breaking echoed through the forest. You looked around but didn't see anything that caught your attention.

Despite everything, you slowly and quietly lifted your backpack from the ground. You put the ropes away looking around for threats.

And then you heard another crack of branches.

Your senses sharpened and adrenaline hit you like a bolt of lightning. You slung your backpack over your shoulders and pulled your gun from your belt.

You slowly and carefully took steps not making a sound and hid under a group of trees. And you waited. For some time, all you heard was your calm breathing and the last birdsongs. You began to wonder if you had accidentally run into a deer or some other animal, but then you heard the next branches breaking under someone's weight. You immediately recognized the male footsteps.

Wary and heavy.

You slowly uncocked the gun and looked out through the gap between the trunks. You saw movement. A few dozen meters away from you. And unfortunately for you, he was walking in your direction.

You cursed in your mind at your luck and took a few deep breaths.

Another rustle of dry leaves getting closer to you. You tightened your grip on the gun and listened.

The snapping of branches. You glanced one last time through the gap in the trees to determine how far he was. He was definitely too close.

One last deep breath before you emerged from your hiding place.

“Stop and drop your weapon,” you said sharply, aiming it straight at the man in front of you. But you weren’t the only one prepared. You both stood, aiming your weapons at each other. You both had each other perfectly in your sights. And you were both alone.

"I just want to get to Kansas," he said in a hoarse, loud voice.

"Then you got your sides mixed up," you replied, keeping him carefully in your sights. To your detriment, the setting sun and the fog didn't help.

"What?" he was surprised, slightly taken aback.

"Kansas is the other way," you explained, frowning when you noticed he lowered his gun slightly. "No tricks. Throw the gun in my direction and take a few steps back," you ordered, carefully watching his every move. For a moment, there was complete silence. His hands finally fell loosely along his body.

"Fuck. Baby?" he said in a completely different tone. You frowned, lowering the gun when you heard a familiar voice. A gentle wind stirred the fog, giving you a better view of the man a dozen meters in front of you.

"Joel," you whispered in shock, the gun falling from your hand. Your heart stopped for a moment only to start beating like crazy when you saw his look of relief.

"Fuck," he cursed with a trembling voice before he confidently took a step towards you. And you started running.

You threw yourself into his arms, hugging his neck tightly. His arms wrapped around you so tightly you could barely catch your breath. You sobbed with happiness feeling your body overcome with relief. How his arms finally brought you the desired safety. Joel groaned, burying his face in your neck.

Tears of happiness welled up in your eyes as you finally held him in your arms. Alive. Healthy.

You tangled your fingers in his hair pulling him even closer starting to laugh with happiness. His fingers dug painfully into your skin as he pressed you closer to his chest. The amount of relief he felt holding you in his arms was indescribable. Like a huge weight from his shoulders fell apart in a second finally allowing him to breathe.

"I knew I'd find you" he whispered almost moaning with happiness.

You could barely see through your tears as he pulled you away, taking your face in his hands. He looked at you closely. Same eyes, same smile, and a few more scars. Other than that, nothing had changed.

He sighed in relief, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against yours. You wrapped your arms around his wrists, letting out a shaky breath that disappeared a moment later into his mouth as he pressed them tightly against yours.

He immediately deepened the kiss, kissing you with everything he had in him. Longing, relief, pain and love. It wasn't a gentle kiss, but the best you've ever had in your life.

His lips tasted like home.

And that kiss was a promise that you'd never be alone again.

He finally pulled away and pulled you to his chest. He tangled his fingers in your hair and rested his cheek on your head. You snuggled into his chest, closing your eyes.

"I was so fucking scared," he whispered, hugging you tighter and planting a strong kiss on the top of your head. "I was so fucking scared you'd die," he stroked your back and a few tears ran down his cheeks, soaking into your hair. You sobbed, burying your face in his chest.

His fingers stroked your hair soothingly.

"Shhh," he whispered, placing kisses on your head.

You were in his arms.

Safe and sound.

After a year of separation, you were finally safe.

"Everything will be fine now," he assured you, believing in his own words like never before. "I will take care of you."

[simphornies]

Ahdjsksjsjkssb I love your Vox content and I was wondering if I could request a Vox x reader (preferably fem) who performs songs and dances online, they're like a big shot social media star(who's besties with Vel) and often ropes the Vees into making online content with her(games, dance challenges, reactions, etc. when they're free of course) and it's free PR that some sinners like watching because it's just funny to watch the 3 overlords + reader doing goofy shit. Bonus points if you write about sinners just #shipping Vox and Reader because they have good chemistry XD

A/N: I was listening to Circus by Britney Spears so I may have made the reader a little flirt :) Also this one's a little short so I apologize

Word count: 934

Social Sensation - Vox x Reader

“Vox!” You whined, clinging onto his leg. “No! I’m not letting you plug controllers into me so you can play video games for a video.” He groaned as he repeated himself for the fifth time.

“Vox! Please! The sinners! They want it!” You begged. “This one time and I won’t ask you for it again!”

He sighs, giving in just to get you to stop. And also because he knew you wouldn’t let go until he agreed. “Fine. You get 15 minutes.”

“...20?” You asked.

“Don’t push it.”

.

Vox had the most deadpan expression on his face while you were livestreaming on Voxstagram, completely unamused at the fact that there’s three different cords plugged into the back of his head. “Vox, put your fuckin’ face away! It’s throwing me off.” Velvette complained, having fallen off of the platform. The three of you were playing Super Smash, as per request of the audience. He groaned and hid his own face on his own screen.

You, Velvette and Valentino were screaming at each other during the whole game. “Valentino! Move your head out the way I can’t see!” You groaned. “Well I can’t fucking see either!” He yelled back, eyes squinting at the screen.

After what felt like forever to Vox, you win the game. You grabbed your phone and smiled, “Thanks for joining in you guys! I’ll see you all tomorrow for another stream!” You put an arm around Vox and put the camera on him. “A big thanks to Vox! For letting us use him for the game today!”

The comments were flooded with a bunch of thanks to Vox, cheering him on for being a real one and promising to buy more VoxTek devices. You signed off and ended the stream. Vox took out the cords with no hesitation as soon as you did. “That was not 15 minutes.” Vox squinted at you, arms crossed.

“I’m sorry, Voxy~” You giggled and laid your head on his lap, happily scrolling on your phone, “I got you more sales and I got more followers. A win-win!”

He huffed, “I get sales either way.” He was full on pouting now. You reached up and pinched the side of his screen, “Aw. Don’t be mad. You know you love me. Besides, you’ve been getting more sales ever since I started crashing here with you guys and you can’t tell me I’m wrong.”

For a brief second, you swore his usual blue screen started to fade into a red before going back to blue. “I guess you’re right on that.” He lets out a sigh and relaxes into the couch, “So what’s the plan for tomorrow?”

“I gotta go tomorrow to the Lust Ring.” You showed him a photo of the poster Asmodeus posted on his Voxstagram. “I’m performing!”

“The Lust Ring?!” His voice cracked before he cleared his throat, “That’s a…You’re gonna fine by yourself?” “What?” You grinned cheekily, “You scared someone’s gonna fuck me there instead of you~” You teased as his screen turned a little red.

“What! No!” He huffed, “I was just wondering if you’d want an escort or something.”

“Aww. If you wanted to come with me, you could’ve just said so!” You giggled and got up.

“Don’t get it twisted! It’s for business.” He crossed his arms.

“Right.” You winked, “Business. Anyways I’ll see you there. Gotta meet up with Velvette for my new outfit.”

.

Vox sat in one of the seats closer to the front. He stayed on his phone during the other performances only putting it away after you were announced to come up next.

“And it’s my pleasure to announce our final performance for the night! The darling, Y/N!” Asmodeus stepped away from the spotlight as it shines on you.

You began your performance immediately making eye contact with Vox. A seductive smile on your face the whole time. You danced seductively while you sang. Vox didn’t take his eyes off of you, glued to your intoxicating display. His eyes followed your hands running up your hips and to your chest and through your hair. He was enamored.

.

Your performance went viral online, plenty of people talked about the dress Velvette made for you which boosted her sales making her very happy. Vox’s jaw dropped expression and your wink at him went crazy too, people shipping the two of you together.

“Vox!” You yelled, catching his attention, “The sinners loved the performance. I’m so glad you came and watched it!”

“Y-Yeah! It was amazing as always, my dear.” He grinned, “You’re very lovable, Y/N.” He took a sip of his coffee, watching you gleefully scroll through your phone.

You showed him the comments on your phone, “They love us too, baby~” You teased. He choked on his drink and looked at all of the people commenting under a picture of him staring at you on the stage. “I think you should give what the people and I want and go on a date with me.” You winked.

“A date?!” He coughed, “You want to go on a date with me?”

“For an allegedly smart overlord, you’re a little slow, huh?” You giggled and left him a kiss on his screen. “That show was for you. I’ll see you later tonight~” You snapped a photo next to him rebooting and posted it to your socials with ‘Told him we’re going on a date tonight! <3 Love ya @ Vox <3’ as the caption. Your comments were flooded with excited fans going insane over the development. You giggled and walked away, leaving Vox to deal with your confession by himself.

[reverie-starlight]

hello ^^ May i request night routine with semi, oikawa and suna?

of course! this is so cute, I love it!! also I wasn't sure if you wanted HCs or not, so I did a little drabble/scenario for each <3 also, oikawa’s ended up being MUCH longer than semi and suna’s and for that i’m sorry, i just had so much fun writing his section. 

also I’m SO sorry this took months to post, I’ve been extremely busy with midterms and exams and school in general. Thank you so much for requesting!

{nightly routines with them- suna, oikawa and semi}

warnings: none! just fluff. and i’m sucker for oikawa using spanish pet-names after learning the language and living in argentina, so shush let me enjoy it. 

gn!reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

suna

You checked the time on your phone and sighed. It was getting late, but you didn’t want to move from your position on top of your boyfriend. His hand stopped running along your back. You made a noise of protest and buried your face further into his neck. He chuckled. 

“Y/n, we should start getting ready for bed. We both have an early start tomorrow.” 

You frowned and shook your head. “No. Please, can we just stay here for five more minutes? I’m so tired.”

“I’ll carry you to the bedroom if you’re that tired, baby, but we really do need to get ready.”

“Fine, I guess.”

There was some shuffling and murmured apologies as Suna got up and disrupted your comfortable position, then you were up in his arms and being carried away. 

This is often how nights with your boyfriend started- one too tired to leave the couch the other dragging them to get ready. It had been integrated into your nightly routine at this point. 

He plopped you down to the bed and kissed you on the cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

You reached out for him and took his hand. “Wait, where are you going?”

“To get the bathroom ready so we can get our routine done? Are you that tired that you forgot?” He teased, snickering when you swatted his finger away from your face with the hand you were holding.

“I don’t want you to go, though, can’t we skip it tonight?”

“Baby, you’re going to be frustrated tomorrow when you realize you went to bed without doing it.”

“But I don’t want you to be far awayyyy,” you dragged on and he rolled his eyes. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll carry you there, then, you clingy baby. But we’re not skipping a day.” He picked you back up from the bed and journeyed to the bathroom.

“Mhm, I love you, Rin.”

“Love you too.”

He sat you down on the counter and kissed your cheek. “Open,” he requested.

You obliged, and he started brushing your teeth for you, making sure to be gentle while still doing a good job. When he was finished with that, you rinsed your mouth out and leaned against him as he brushed his own teeth.

He sighed as you nuzzled into his neck, fairly certain you were falling asleep on him again. If his mouth wasn’t full of toothpaste he definitely would have given into the urge to kiss your head. He rinsed and wiped his mouth. Since you were facing the other way, you couldn’t see the slight smile on his face or the adoring look in his eyes as he wrapped an arm around you and stared at the sight in the mirror, eternally grateful that he was lucky enough to spend yet another night with the love of his life. 

oikawa

Nights with Oikawa had become... chaotic since moving in together in the best way possible. You had your doubts that this part of your routine wouldn’t get old quick, but nearly a year later you were still taking part in this silly little tradition that you both adored. 

You tried to be nonchalant as you looked at the time on your phone. It was getting late now, and in the Oikawa-L/n household that only meant the games were about to begin. You felt bad for your neighbours downstairs who had to put up with this at least four times a week. 

“Tooru, can you get me some water please?”

“Of course, my love, with ice?”

“Sure, thank you.”

The second he was out of sight, you were sneaking off to the bathroom. If you could just get there undetected, you might have a chance at winning-

“Going somewhere?”

You shrieked and looked over to where the voice came from.

There he was, leaning against the wall with an annoying smirk and a quirked eyebrow, water in hand. “Did you seriously think I would fall for the water trick? You did this last month too... are you running out of ways to best me, beautiful?”

You scowled. “I am not, I was just retesting it.”

Truthfully, you knew he’d catch on- he was insanely observant, sometimes to his own detriment, and slightly cocky, too. That’s exactly why you had to use it to your advantage to win your little game. He needed to be humbled after almost a month of consecutive wins.

He was clever but you knew how to work around it almost better than anyone. 

Taking the water from him, you rolled your eyes as he laughed. “Retesting it, right. Are you sure you’re not just getting complacent? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you enjoy losing to me, baby.”

He lead you back to the couch and sat you down. “Oh please, you wish. Besides, how do you know I haven’t just been letting you win?”

“We both know you’re way too competitive for that, my love, but it’s a nice sentiment.” 

You grumbled under your breath and took a small sip of your water. He’d eat his words by the end of the night and you’d be living like royalty for the next 24 hours. 

Honestly, you lost sight of the rules after a month of your game. It wasn’t even really anything serious, just a little bit of fun- a way to keep up the playfulness in your relationship. And despite the teasing and your determination to win, neither of you ever took it so far that it turned into resentment. 

It was only a race to see who could finish their routine and get under the covers first, after all. 

Some nights were more strategic and planned out, others were just straight up feral. It really depended on the mood of the instigator (it was pretty evenly split between you and Oikawa starting it from night to night).

Tonight you were going for a mixed approach. 

“Tooru, I love you.”

He smiled over at you. “I love you too, Y/n. So much.”

“So much,” you agreed. “Keep that in mind, please.”

He side eyed you. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” you said, slowly getting up from the couch, him following suit almost immediately. 

You took a sip of your water again. “Hmm, it’s perfect, thank you baby.”

His eyes widened in realization. “Don’t you da-” he was cut off by some water being splashed in his face. 

You wasted no time running for the bathroom, cackling the whole way as your boyfriend took off after you. “You’re going to pay for that!”

The adrenaline pumping through you right before bed was worth the past few days of purposefully losing and biting back remarks that would give you away. 

You squealed as you felt a hand grab at you from behind and you tried to shut the bedroom door, but Oikawa was a pro athlete. He easily opened it against your full weight and lunged for you. 

You giggled and dodged, running to the bathroom and starting on your face. He came in two seconds later and grabbed your hands. You struggled against him, trying to get your facewipes back, but he pinched your sides and you gave up on that idea pretty quickly. 

He picked you up and pulled you into the shower, laughing along with you. “If I had to get wet, so do you! Stop squirming!” 

You couldn’t even put up a fight with how hard you were laughing at that point. He stood with you under the water, shoulders shaking and trying to catch his breath. 

He finally composed himself a couple seconds before you did and all he could do was admire you. The sound of your laugh was music to his ears and your smile was contagious. Even with messy hair and soaking wet clothes, you were still the most beautiful person he had ever seen. 

“I’m sorry I splashed water in your face,” you said through the last of your giggles. 

“I’m sorry I dragged you into the shower while you still had your clothes on.”

You shrugged and started pulling them off. “I had to shower tomorrow morning anyway, now I can sleep in a bit longer.”

He followed suit once again. “Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all, I’m feeling a little clingy now, actually. I love you so much.” You wrapped your arms around him and pecked his cheek. 

“I love you too, mi vida.”

semi

It was already hours past when you had said goodnight the first time, but you just couldn’t fall asleep. After a while of tossing and turning, you decided to wake your fiancé up. 

“Mmm, what’s wrong? You okay?” He sat up when he felt you shaking him and rubbed his eyes then leaned over to turn a light on so he could see you better.

“I can’t sleep. I’m tired, but every time I think I’m about to drift off I wake back up.” You said with tears in your eyes. Not being able to sleep when you’re exhausted was extremely frustrating. 

He frowned and stroked your cheek in sympathy. “I’m sorry baby, you should have woken me up sooner.” 

“You were so peaceful, I didn’t wanna disturb you. I’m just all out of ideas on what to do now.” You leaned into his hand and his heart fluttered.

He thought for a moment. “Why don’t you go to the bathroom and wash your face with warm water. It should soothe you a bit. I’ll have something ready for you when you get back.” 

You pouted. “You don’t have to get up, it’s okay. I don’t want to make it harder for you to get back to sleep.”

“No, don’t worry about me, sweetheart, I just want to make things better for you. Meet me back here, okay?”

You nodded and went to wash your face. Five minutes later, you were drying your hands and focusing on the warmth of your freshly rinsed skin.

“Baby, are you almost done?”

“Yeah, I’m coming now!” You called from the bathroom.

When you walked out into the bedroom, you were greeted with a smile from your fiancé. He was ready and waiting for you on the bed with his guitar in hand.

“You’re gonna play for me?” You cuddled into his side after getting back into bed.

“Mhm, you’ve said before it relaxes you when I play. I thought we could give it a try tonight.”

You thought back to all the times he’s played for you before and how you always felt a wave of calm wash over you. You nodded up at him and got comfortable, still attached to his side. 

He began playing a slow, soft melody that you recognized as one of the first songs he ever wrote for you in the early days of your relationship. He hummed along to it and you felt it from where your head was on his chest. The vibrations mixed with his voice and the guitar were enough to get you sleepy, and this time you were able to drift off without any issues.

When he noticed you were finally asleep, he carefully set his guitar down under the bed and slowly shifted so he was lying down with you. He reached over to turn the light off. 

He kissed the top of your head. “Goodnight, baby, sweet dreams.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[theresthesnitch]

If the face fits

Jily meet cute! ....well, this might be a meet ugly, but it's all I can think of. Based on a video I saw a while back, and I'll try to post it if I find it again. NSFW below the cut.

Lily hates the first day at a new gym. 

Trying out a new gym is always a bit uncomfortable. There are rules and expectations that are common across every gym, of course, but each one has its own culture that you really can’t know until you walk in the door. What is the flow around the equipment? What is the acceptable time on a machine? Where is the best vantage point to check out the gym hotties?

Lily despises walking in without knowing what to expect, but she and Mary moved to this city a month ago, and running outside is only going to get her by for so long. She needs some actual gym equipment. So, she’s braving gym visits. 

This one, Marauders Fitness (“We solemnly swear to get you swole!”) caught her eye. It’s run by four guys, each of whom are sexy in that sweaty-abs-on-display sort of way, if you’re someone who is into that sort of thing. (Lily… Lily was into that sort of thing). They offered a three-day visit pass, and this is Lily’s first day. 

She is already feeling the distinct exhaustion in her underused muscle, knowing that she’ll be deliciously sore tomorrow. All she needs is to lift some weights, and she’ll be done. 

She pulls out her phone to text Mary, who is stuck at work, as she sits down on the weight bench. Only, she doesn’t actually sit on the bench. 

Lily turns to look and jumps up again, just in time to see a guy with messy hair sit up from where he had laid down on the bench. “Oh, oh my god. I’m so–” 

She turns and runs. There’s really no other solution now, right? As much as she liked this gym, she can never, ever return. She honestly debates leaving her bag in the locker room, until she realizes her keys are in there, and she doubles back for it. 

“Hey, wait a minute!” 

She turns to see Mr. Messy Hair coming after her, jogging to catch up. “Nope, sorry. I have, um, an urgent appointment somewhere else. Across town. I have to go.” 

“You can’t go yet,” he says, walking beside her as she continues toward the locker room. 

“Yes, I can. Can’t be helped, must go.” She tries to walk a little faster, but this guy is tall and his long legs take big strides. 

“Well, before you run out, at least give me your name and number.” He looks down at her with a smirk, and she pretends it doesn’t make her stomach swoop. “You wouldn’t just sit on my face and run, would you?”

Lily groans. “You did not just use that line.” 

He laughs, and it’s such a full, happy sound. “It’s terrible, I know, but you can’t blame me. It’s like a once in a lifetime kind of a line.” 

“Listen, about that, I’m really sorry–” 

“NOPE!” He smiles as he cuts her off. “You don’t get to apologize for that. I think we were both a little at fault for that one, so if you apologize, I’m going to have to apologize, then you’ll think you have to apologize, and we’ll be stuck in a playback loop.” 

Lily scoffs. “Maybe, but only one of us sat on the other’s face.” 

“You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?” He crosses his arms over his chest, a playful tug to his lips. 

“Say what?”

He leans in, like he’s sharing a secret. “I really didn’t mind it that much.” 

Lily feels herself flush. “I really have to go.” 

“No, come on. You didn’t even finish your workout!” He gestures back at the gym. “Why don’t you finish? I can help if you want.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Was that another double entendre?” 

His eyes go wide. “No. I mean, not intentionally. I just meant–” He sighs. “At least tell me you’ll come back?” 

Lily laughs, and there’s a hysterical note to it. “No, absolutely not.” 

“What if I throw in free personal trainer services?” 

She glares at him. “Do these services involve you laying on my weight bench?”

“No, I promise.” He waves over her shoulder. “I’ll even set it up with Sirius so you don’t have to deal with me.” 

She looks over her shoulder at three guys who are still standing by The Weight Bench (an incident like that deserves a Proper Title), grinning like they enjoy watching this train wreck. One of them–Sirius, presumably–waves back.

It’s only then that the realization lands hard in her stomach. She’s seen this guy before. All of them. “Oh my god. You’re the owner?” She walks past him, a bit in a daze. “I just sat on the gym owner’s face.” 

“It was a new experience for me, too.” He follows her as she walks back toward the locker room. “I’m James, by the way.” 

“Lily,” she says, but she’s hardly paying attention. 

“Are you still going to leave, Lily?”

A hysterical bubble of laughter pops out. “I should. I should move all the way back to my parents’ house and climb under my Barbie blanket and just give up.” 

“You could,” James says. “Or there’s another option and–I might be a bit biased, but I think it’s a better option.” 

“What’s that?” she asks, turning to face him. 

“Go on a date with me?” He’s really very cute when he smiles, glasses a little lopsided (that might be her fault) and a crooked grin. He holds his hands up in surrender. “Face sitting optional.” 

Lily laughs. She can’t help it; it’s just the most ridiculous thing to ever happen in her life. She holds up a finger. “One condition.” 

“Anything,” he says. 

“Please stop mentioning face sitting.” 

[rockmiyabideusexmachina]

2023 Megaman Secret Valentine Event Gift Art Reveal!

                    ❤️ Happy Valentine’s Day to all!❤️

And here is a little gift art exchange from Soul Rokkuman to all of you. Thanks for drawing the results post art for me again, Souly!

Thanks to all 30 participants for making this a relatively smooth gift art exchange event. A few small hiccups, but with a short window to create, and trying it this way for the first time, I wasn’t expecting it to be perfect. Appreciate you all giving it your best! Unfortunately, we had two participants unable to complete their gifts on time. One backup was able to create quickly, but there is still one pending, last minute. So I apologize to @skyyism​ for the delay in yours, but know you will be getting a gift soon.

Due to those issues, today’s post will just be all of the gift art for each participant. Tomorrow, while I have a day off, I will handle the prize money and fanzine raffle results in a separate post. Sorry to delay it slightly! 

After the break, I’ll pull all of your Valentines out of my digital homemade shoebox and show them all off!

Just as a reminder, artists, you are free to send messages about your gift/larger files to your recipients at any time, if you haven’t yet done so. But for many, this might be the first time you are seeing your gift. I will link to each piece individually, plus you can view everything in a full gallery here. In alphabetical order by recipient’s alias ~

AbilityField, here is your Secret Valentine gift from sshrimpiee!

@aw-colorcat, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @feliner!

BinglesP, here is your Secret Valentine gift from CyborgWizard!

@cherry-lemonaid, here is your Secret Valentine gift from STAR0VERHE4D!

CyborgWizard, here is your Secret Valentine gift from MithClearwell!

@dahlia-the-nurd, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @dragonmarquise!

@digitallyfanged, here is your Secret Valentine gift from Dr. Fresh!

DinnerSonic, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @cherry-lemonaid!

Dr. Fresh, here is your Secret Valentine gift from DinnerSonic!

@dragonmarquise, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @skyyism!

@feliner, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @nightopianfoxgirl!

@jade-everstone, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @dahlia-the-nurd!

Karokuri, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @sunchaserwings!

@larytello, here is your Secret Valentine gift from your backup, @aw-colorcat!

Megagamer829, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @velcrowme!

@megagundamman, here is your Secret Valentine gift from RobArts!

MithClearwell, here is your Secret Valentine gift from Spectrum W!

@nightopianfoxgirl, here is your Secret Valentine gift from Megagamer829!

@pstart, here is your Secret Valentine gift from Zyrphia!

RobArts, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @larytello!

ShidoniDrella, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @tinyreploid!

@skyyism, here is your Secret Valentine gift from your backup  @dahlia-the-nurd!

sshrimpiee, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @jade-everstone!

Spectrum W, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @w1nt3rlyn01r!

STAR0VERHE4D, here is your Secret Valentine gift from Karokuri!

@sunchaserwings, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @pstart!

@tinyreploid, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @aw-colorcat!

@velcrowme, here is your Secret Valentine gift from AbilityField!

@w1nt3rlyn01r, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @megagundamman!

Zyrphia, here is your Secret Valentine gift from @digitallyfanged!

Hope you all enjoy your gifts! And once again, update on prize winners tomorrow! Thanks, everyone!

[bunitivity]

Hey! First of all let me start by saying that I LOVE your writing (one shots? Im not familiar with fanfic terms lol), everytime I see you answering an ask and is under read more? Fuck yeah! Im eating well tonight!!! (That being said dont feel obligated to answer this like that lol)

I was just thinking about Water 7 (because us Usopp girlies/gender neutral/ are never leaving that arc down) and the fact that after getting beat up Usopp is shown to have bandages all over his body, but later when he heals he doesnt seem to have any scars, and in the sense of the show it makes sense, but 👀 i feel theres lots of angst potential for him to have some scarring from his time against the Franky Family, after all Chopper only treated him at first, the rest of the wounds care was done by Usopp. I feel theres great Usopp angst potential in seeing these scars as shameful because they keep reminding him of his actions in water 7, Franky angst because every time he sees those scars he remembers a beat up Usopp, hell angst for the whole crew remembering their darkest time as a crew

And if we want to make it ZoLuSanUso (because of course were going to!!) angst of their little breakup arc and how they couldnt protect usopp at that moment 😭

Aaah I’m so happy you enjoy my writing! I honestly hadn’t planned on writing anything for this fandom because whenever I enter a new fandom I prefer posting art and even though I enjoy writing a little here and there much like my art/fandom art in general they are just snippets of a larger story lol. Which is something you can get away with drawing but not writing. I wish I could write a full fledged slowburn for the ot4 god that would be the dream but executing something like that well is a lot of work and I’m weak of spirit I’m afraid😩 that being said I did write a little something inspired by my latest ot4 drawing(and isn’t that a beautiful circle being inspired to draw and being inspired to write by your own drawing as you draw lol) I just need to edit it and I’ll post it tomorrow(and yeah they’re called oneshots😊) just seeing your nice message inspired me to work on it some more so that’s why it took me a bit to answer(also it takes me longer to see asks because I have notifications turned off lol)

And ah water 7 best arc and anyone who says otherwise is just weak. The first and only time we saw interpersonal conflict that mattered where everyone was so wrong and also right. Sorta wishing we get the same level intercrew conflict in elbaf but with the way the story is going it’s not likely but I can dream. anyways water 7. God the thought of them already dating during that arc is so angsty even for Me. While lu/sopp and san/uso sides are already heartbreaking on their own (and lu/san! he literally kicked him in the face and told him to watch his mouth😭 honestly I don’t think Sanji would forgiven Luffy or Zoro if Usopp really left the crew there’s no way for things to be normal after all that or even Usopp for going through with it tbh) but ugh just zo/sopp is so much worse. Just having to hear him say that they should leave him if he doesn’t apologize even though Usopp wasn’t the only one at fault no you know what even if he was entirely at fault hearing that would not be okay. To hear someone you love say that would be heartbreaking😭. From then on you even after you patch things up you would be constantly watching yourself trying not to be too much trouble or make any mistakes. I have fallen down a ravenous hole I need to get UP. So yeah I don’t like to think about them dating before w7 because it all becomes a little too terrible and I would just die but I shall indulge you just a bit.

But yeah Luffy waking up sweats in the middle to make sure Usopp’s still there. Zoro would be just be touching Usopp and finding all these scars that never used to be there and get a bad taste in his mouth. I think if Sanji hears any of the other two raise their voice he’ll just have flashbacks and go into protective mode even though they are his boyfriends too and he’s supposed to also love them and he can’t have favorites but there’s no way to erase the past and what happened. So Sanji will just feel that much more terrible and unworthy (he never used to feel deserving before but now it’s just compounded three fold). Water 7 has left a lot of scars.

They may not all be physical but they’re so much worse. They’re going to be forever hunted by past mistakes of how they almost lost him because they were stupid and not there when he needed them most and as a result they’re going to overcompensate and become overprotective which just leads to Usopp feeling even more useless. It’s a vicious cycle until something finally gives and they have another fight where all their stupid insecurities come to light and they mend things. They try to be better moving forward but they’re just humans and there’s no way they can just fix things overnight. But they try and that’s all that matters.

I don’t think Franky will ever forget what happened and what he had to someone that has become so precious to him. And the fact that Usopp forgave him so easily just makes it so much worse. It’s easier to deal with anger because then you can at least apologize and work to earn their forgiveness. But no he does not get that. Instead he has to see the person he hurt look up to him and admire him and love him which just makes all the shitty things he did so much worse. And to have left permanent scarring because of what he has done oh boy. To have a constant reminder of just how terrible you can be. Yeah he won’t ever forget it. And no amount of good he does will ever erase those scars so how could he possibly forgive himself.

[culpeppercheckers721]

Hi so in case you couldn’t tell based on the last post, in the spirit of “Abraham Woodhull Appreciation Day” this 7/22 I just re-read THE Abraham Woodhull fic to end all Abraham Woodhull fics, Do Something Revolutionary, so oh my fucking god I need to rant for a second:

I am so emotionally unstable right now IN THE BEST WAY— as I have mentioned I may or may not have made the grave mistake of listening to Twin Sized Mattress, as well as Somewhere Only We Know and This Is Gospel because apparently those can also get me teary-eyed, whilst rereading this fic because sometimes I love music while I read and my Do Something Revolutionary playlist fucking SLAPS OK 🤪

Anyways, oh my god, this fucking riveting fic never fails to make me feel literally every emotion in existence for Abe Woodhull, and I cannot recommend it enough because god, it is something spectacular. As simple as it may seem to the naked eye, it is SO incredibly effective, and it captures Abe’s character wonderfully and gives a much-desired look into what his childhood was like & the dynamic he and the rest of the ring had as friends then, it does a FANTASTIC job exploring his bisexuality which yes, is simply just a headcanon of mine, yet also something I think is way too fitting and intentional to write off but that is a whole other matter—! As said, it hits the childhood friendship dynamic spot-on, to the point where it felt like I was reading fucking Stephen King’s IT again with how strong those vibes were!! 🤡 And, as embarrassed as I usually am to admit it, yes, it makes me feel so many things! It is an all-around inspiring take on our little cabbage, and yes, I’m aware there are many people who often can’t stand Abe, but I swear to god I don’t know how anyone could get through this fic & and it’s beautiful glimpse into Abraham himself and what can be learned from him and not be at least a little appreciative. ❤️

I am aware how ramble-y this is and perhaps one day I will make a better, more coherence recommendation of this fanfiction, but what I am trying to say here is that it is an incredible read full of killer lines, great characterization & emotions, and it utterly shocked me the first time I read it as I was NOT expecting it go so hard!

So yes this was what I had to do on this little Abe appreciation day, once again similarly to Ben to appreciate him in some physical way ahah, but in all seriousness I just have to give this fic so much credit for the EMOTIONS it gets me feeling, and, of course, how absolutely FERAL the Townhull dynamic in it also makes me (because what else is new? ;)) as well as why it is very much worth your time if you’re looking to enjoy a look into Abe, some of the Culper Ring as kids, and that aforementioned side of Townhull.

(And to get back to the music thing, I’d like to note that oh my god, that also fuels the already very strong emotions. I don’t want to say that I’m a stone cold bitch sometimes or anything, but USUALLY it takes quite a lot to get me emotional, and when I tell you that Do Something Revolutionary (especially the ending) accomplished that, it is not praise I take lightly ;))

Anyways, if you actually read this rant holy crap. Thank thank you & apologies for the incoherency, but this fic has utterly captivated me once again, and believe me when I say I am delighted I might be able to make somebody else smile by recommending it.

For now, Happy Abe Appreciation Day once again!!! I’ll see you tomorrow for Townsend Appreciation Day lmao ;)

[in-my-shifting-era]

A Knight in a Leather Jacket Pt2

Eddie Munson Fluff

Part 1 here

Summary: Your brother Steve finds you at Eddie Munsons trailer after he gave you a ride and saved you from the rain.

Warnings: Possibly some spelling and grammar errors. (Your girl is dyslexic so I apologize)

Authors note: I apologize that I haven’t posted anything lately. I’ve felt a bit discouraged to post on here. I’m posting this from my drafts for the person who asked for a part 2.

————————————————————————————————————————

“He sounds a little grumpy don’t you think.” You look back up at Eddie who laughs loudly covering his mouth and points at the door. “You’re brother is here looking for you let’s be serious.” You roll your eye playfully and call out loudly to your worried brother at the door. “You forgot about me Steve and Eddie so kindly offered me a ride home.”

Steve quickly made his way into the Munson trailer not caring to know if he welcome to come in. He looked at Eddie giving him a thankful smile. “Thanks for being the one to pick her up man. We’ll be out if your way now.” He looks your way and stops his motion when he sees you in one of Eddie’s shirts.

“Why are you in nothing but one of Eddie’s shirts? You sigh lightly sensing Steves protective brother side showing and walks towards the dryer your clothes are in. “My clothes are drying and I’m not in nothing but a shirt. I have some boxers on.” You lift the shirt up enough to show the boxers underneath.

You see Eddie chuckle lightly as Steve walks over to you and swats your hand holding up your shirt back down. “Okay I get it. Get your clothes and we’ll return Eddie’s tomorrow.” You roll your eyes annoyed and grab your still damp clothes from the dryer. “Thank you again Eddie for being my knight in leather today.”

You smile sweetly towards Eddie who actually blushes lightly. “I’ll always be at your service m’lady.” He gives you a dramatic bow and looks at Steve once he’s stood. “Why did you forget about my fair lady?” Steve looks from Eddie to you and looks down almost looking embarrassed. “Uh I saw a cute girl broken down on the side of the road and helped her fix a flat.”

Rolling your eyes as you look at your brother. “You left me to walk home in the rain the save some cute girl? I hope you at least got her number or something.” Eddie laughs lightly at this only making Steve huff annoyed. “You know what I did get her number.” Steve has a slight blush to his cheek as he speaks. “Can we head home now? It’s my turn to make dinner and the soup has been on all afternoon.”

With a still annoyed look you hand Steve your damp clothes and walk to the door, stopping for a moment to put on your shoes. “You sound like a mother of five when you talk like that. Your soup will be fine.” You hear Eddie laugh at this, earning an annoying glare towards the both of you from Steve.

Quickly waving off the mean look you turn to Eddie and offer him a sweet smile. “Thank you again Eddie. I really owe you for saving me from the rain.” The metal head offers you a soft smile back. “It’s really no problem. Maybe we could hangout again. Without being interrupted by Steve this time.”

A small blush keeps onto you face at the offer. You recover quickly once seeing Steve about to butt in. “I’d really like that. I’ll call you. With the number I already have.” Eddie smiles widely at this. “I’d like that. I’ll be awaiting your call m’lady.” All you can offer back is a quick goodbye and a wave as Steve ushers you out of the Munson trailer his protective brother mode in full swing again.

[babyiamperfectforyou]

IT'S YOU

Chapter 8

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word count: 3.3 k

Warnings: Coarse language

A/N: Hey everyone, we know it's been a while since we posted. We were swamped with exams and all that. Here's part 8, enjoyyyy.

Xoxo,

G and M

Previous part l Next part

---------------------------------

She couldn't process what just happened. She was ready to kiss Harry. Yes, Harry, the same Harry who she was sure hated her with a passion . At least until a few minutes ago. He leaned towards her, didn't he? She hated him as well, right? Right? Right. But that’s not the point here. The point is that she liked how close they were, how her heart raced at the thought of him kissing her. She thought about his lips again, imagining them pinker and swollen after him kissing her over and over again. His hands around her throat…

That’s when she knew she was fucked. She was beyond confused, she couldn’t wrap her head around what happened and how they ended up in such an awkward situation.

Would she be able to look him in the eyes after this?

She was being delusional for thinking that Harry would ever make a move on her. She was so not his type. But she found herself hoping that she was wrong and maybe, just maybe, Harry wanted something more from her.

She sort of jumped in her seat when someone touched her shoulder. Steffin. They were sitting at the dining table. Anne had made them a delicious dinner but she hadn’t touched it yet.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” , his eyes full of concern, “You look… upset?” He carefully chose his words.

“I was just about to ask the same, are you okay, dear? Is everything fine?” Anne backed the question.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s okay. I was just… just um waiting for the soup to just cool down a bit.” It was the first thing that came to her mind and everyone seemed to buy that, except for Mr. Tomas. The old man just looked at her for a few more seconds with somewhat between a smile and a smirk tugging on his lips.

God…Is he insinuating that there's something inappropriate going on between her and Harry?  Who are you kidding, Y/N? Didn’t YOU think it was appropriate at the moment?

For Y/N, that’s when reality sunk in. He looked mortified when she pulled back. He would probably hate her after this. Hell, he hated her way before this, but this could make him hate her more and for some strange reason, she found herself hurt by the idea. Did  she like him? Like like him?  

The dinner went pretty well except for the occasional awkward glances whenever someone mentioned his name, which happened way too many times, it was his own home for Pete’s sake.

Harry stayed in his room all throughout dinner. She was thankful that he did so that she would not have to acknowledge their awkward encounter. But she knew that she had messed up badly. She had made him uncomfortable at his own home.

After dinner, they were getting ready to leave. Everyone went to Harry’s room to say their goodbyes but Y/N could not bring herself to go in there and face him. Not just yet. She knew she owed him an apology but she couldn’t do it now, so she just stood at the door while everyone else went inside.

“We were just about to leave, mate, take care, I'll swing by later.” Steffin patted him on the shoulder.

“Get well soon, m’boy,don’t give your mum trouble and take care of yourself, will you? And file that complaint at the earliest, okay? I'll be going back home in a couple of days. Well then, see you.” Harry nodded and agreed to every word Mr. Tomas was saying.

When they turned around after saying their goodbyes, Harry suddenly said,

“Hey, Steffin, I will submit my leave application and medical certificates soon. The certificates will be here by tomorrow. And I’ll work from home.”

“No worries , mate, take your time. And it would be great if you can complete that big project with Y/N in the meantime. If I could get it by next week, there’s a chance that it would be a groundbreaking achievement for us. There’s something going on regarding that project . But I don't wanna jinx it . So, yeah, contact Y/N, would you?”

“Yeah… Um,  sure, I will contact Y/N.”

She couldn't see Harry's face but she could hear the hesitation in his voice while uttering her name. She noticed how confident he was everytime and how that changed after the incident. Because of her. She cringed at the memory. She was embarrassed and disappointed in herself. She just wanted to dive into a bottomless pit of darkness and never show her face outside.

Little did she know that Harry was feeling the same way as well. He thought he was the reason for her awkward behaviour. The look she gave him after they pulled away… the shock and hatred in her face… That was enough to break him.

And now this, she isn't even entering a room he's in. He felt bad.

They all turned away towards the door, walking, and she felt the urge to see his face once more, to apologize, to plead, to tell him she was sorry…

“Let’s leave then, shall we? You ready, Y/N? “, Steffin asked.

“Yeah”, she whispered, nodding.

They were walking out the door when Mr. Tomas asked her,

“Didn’t you say goodbye to Harry, Y/N?”

“Um, yeah, I did, actually, you know, before you guys came in.”

“Before dinner, you know”, she suddenly added, sensing his doubtful look.

“It’s okay, I'll be calling him anyway, for the ,uh, project. So…”

“Ah, I see…”

She could see that he was not fully convinced but she was grateful that he didn’t push it further and started talking to Anne instead.

“So, you're leaving tomorrow? What about him then?” She heard him ask Anne.

“I don’t want to go tomorrow but I don't have another way. Dusty is wreaking havoc at Chloe’s house, apparently.” She sighed.

Y/N looked confused.

“Dusty is Anne’s cat,” said Steffin, smiling at her.

She laughed nervously, “Oh”.

“I'll have to think about a way, he keeps saying he can manage, but I know that he should be looked after for at least a week more. That boy is so clumsy, he won’t even take his medicine.” Anne looked ast Y/N sympathetically.

She could see the concern and love for him in Anne’s eyes. She wished she had a mother like Anne.

“I assure you that he’s going to be okay, Anne. I’ll have Steffin check up on him every once in a while. At least he can learn a thing or two from him.”

Mr. Tomas gave him a pointed look.

Steffin looked irritated but he masked it well and forced a smile,

“Yeah, I will come often”.

Y/N felt uneasy. She hated it when parents did that even when their children were almost perfect. Steffin was a nice guy, hardworking, kind, good-mannered. What was there to complain about? Mr. Tomas had no right to insult him like that. But she decided not to interfere in their private matters.

“Don’t say that Tomas, he’s perfect the way he is. They're two different individuals., They are unique in their own way,” Anne interjected.

She felt a rush of adoration and love towards Anne , she’s a gem for sure. Harry is so lucky to have her as his mother.

“It’s okay, Anne. I'm used to this. It's not the first time.” Steffin said with a sigh.

“Oh come on, don’t make me the bad guy. You know I was just joking .” Mr. Tomas added.

Y/N did not like that at all, say something that reduces their self confidence and call it a joke.

“Let’s get going, then. Good night Anne.” Mr. Tomas said again and Steffin just nodded.

“Bye Anne, Good night.” Steffin hugged her.

“Good night guys.” She said.

She then looked at Y/N with a smile and hugged her. “Y/N, it was nice seeing you, hope to meet you again sometime.”

“Me too, see you soon Anne, take care, good night”. She loved this woman.

The journey back home was a bit awkward. Whenever Mr. Tomas asked Steffin something, he answered in a word or two. Y/N could not wait to get home.

—-----------------------------

Saturday.

She had plans with Dan and Jenna. They were going to the club tonight.

It’s been a while since she went to a club. She felt a bit rusty in the dating game.

She picked out a black bodycon dress that hugged her curves perfectly. She paired it with gold hoop earrings and a golden chained clutch. She wore her hair in waves and put on some lipstick and then she heard the front door open, must be Dan, she thought.

It was Dan, in a satin navy blue button up and black skinny jeans. He looked handsome.

They both arrived at the bar in an uber only to find Jenna flirting with two men. They were clearly not her type but she was obviously enjoying the attention.

When she caught the sight of Dan and Y/N, she slipped from between them and walked towards her friends with a smirk on her lips.

Jenna looked smoking hot with a red spaghetti strap dress and matching pumps.

“Look at her, already on it.”, Dan scoffed, “Is this what I get in return for wanting to have a night out with friends?” he dramatically sighed.

“Oh, shut up, you guys were late and I was bored.And besides, you came here to get laid, so don’t feed me that crap.” Jenna scowled.

“My poor innocent self does not deserve horny friends like you.’ Dan huffed.

“Says the one who has been to an orgy party just this month.” Y/N intervened.

“Says the one who tried to have a threesome with a guy from a dating app and his best friend.” Dan wasn’t holding back either.

“Excuse me, I thought he was joking about bringing his friend. Besides, who are you to antagonize me? You were the one who…”

“Enough of these childish games. Stop embarrassing each other and have some actual fun.” Jenna was laughing.

“I know right? Y/N/N is such a buzzkill.” Dan poked her cheek with a finger.

“Hey, now I am the buzzkill?...” She couldn’t complete the sentence,

“You can scold me later, see that guy over there, trying to flirt with the bartender? That’s my cue to leave you and have some actual fun. Okay bye.” With that, Dan walked away.

“Ughh I'll kill him.” Y/N murmured.

“Yea, sure we’ll kill him later, but now let’s get you a drink” Jenna dragged her into a booth and ordered them both a Sex on the Beach. Daniel joined them soon.

“What? Where’s your guy? Did he leave you?” Y/N mocked him.

“Oh Shut up, Tom will be here in a while, he has gone to meet his friends.”

“Tom? So you guys are on a first name basis now, huh?”

“Determination, baby. I told you I would get laid tonight and I would. I think I could give it a try. Did you know he’s a Gryffindor too?”

“Oh my god, you didn't ask him about his Hogwarts house!” She snorted.

“Hell yes, I did! And, what about you? Should I find someone for you?”

“No, thanks. I am an independent woman and I can find a man for myself.” She gave him a glare.

“Sure. I know how that goes. Tell me Y/N/N, how many relationships have you had?”

“One.” She mumbled.

“What? I couldn’t hear you.” He pushed again.

“I said one”, she snarled.

“Exactly. Jen, has she  ever told you about George?” Dan asked.

“Um, I don’t think so, who’s that?” Jenna looked at her cautiously and Y/N hid her face in her hands.

“Ah, I’ll tell you who that is. George lived in the same neighbourhood as us when we were in highschool. He would go somewhere every morning on his motorcycle. He looked like the personification of a ‘bad boy player’ and she would watch him, more like look at him creepily like a stalker from the window, every morning when he passed by and in the evening when he would come back. We didn’t even know what his deal was. For all I know, he could be a drug dealer. Anyway, she did this for like a solid year and one day he shifted houses. She could’ve had him if she had the courage to do so. You should've seen the dude, he looked like fucking Zac Efron.”

“God… would you stop telling everyone about George?Ughh…”Y/N groaned.

“And what about all your failed tinder dates? What about that one time when when you had that one night stand with that blonde dude?What was his name again?” Dan didn’t seem to stop and Jenna was a laughing mess by now.

“Shut up Dan or I'll break your bones.” She warned.

“The only action she gets in bed these days was after I bought her that vibrator on her birthday, you know, the pink one with the…”

“For the love of God, would you just shut the fuck up? Why are you torturing me like this? What do you want me to do?” She was so embarrassed.

“Get someone, I want to see my favourite girl happy”, he said and even though she loved that he cared, she did not want anyone right now, maybe except for…

Why are you thinking about him, Y/N? she cursed herself.

She wanted something serious, stable. She wanted to be in love, do all the lovey dovey shit couples do, she wanted to kiss in the rain, watch movies together. Her dating life was a failure, she tried dating apps but nothing worked. She has had a couple of one night stands but nobody could be what she wanted. She felt a connection with Harry when she joined the firm a few years back and had a bit of hope that it would eventually be something more than just friendship, but it turned out that Harry hated her and just when she thought they were finally getting on the friendship track again, the incident happened.

Now she wasn’t sure where they stood.

“Hey Dan, do you wanna dance?” A man approached their table.

"Of course, but before that, I want you to meet Y/N and Jenna, my friends."

—-----------------------

Y/N sat at the booth alone, Dan and Jenna being dragged onto the dance floor by the guys they met. Y/N's mind was stuck somewhere else, stuck with someone who was alone at home, to be exact. It might be the booze, but she felt like she wanted to see him, to apologize, to make sure he was okay. She didn’t even bother telling Dan and Jenna where she was going because she was damn sure that they would be leaving with their dance partners today. She snuck out of the bar and called an uber.

—--------------------

The taxi stopped at the familiar gate. She opened the door and got out of the car only to see another car parked on his porch. The porch was well lit and she saw a brunette, in her mid or late twenties, getting out of the car with a few bags. She wore an olive green dress, her hair was tied up in a ponytail. She walked towards the front door and took a key from her pocket. She unlocked the door and got herself in.

She had a fucking key to his house. Who is she? Y/N felt bile rising in her throat, she was trying so hard not to puke.

She got back in her car and went straight home. She texted Jenna and Dan and plopped on to her bed, falling asleep a few minutes later.

—-----------------------

The weekend went well, except for the occasional thoughts about Harry and the mysterious brunette that made Y/N upset. And by occasional, she means constant. She had sent him multiple emails regarding the project they were doing together and he had replied to them. No talks or other exchanges happened between them except for the occasional official emails and she was thankful for that. She had almost completed the project and it was good to go in a few days.

—------------------------

Another week passed , she had submitted the project they were working on and two major things had happened.

1. Fabiola had returned

which irked Y/N because she had gotten used to Fabiola- free days. She rejoined the office after a holiday, or so Jenna said. She wasn’t with Harry like Aria had made it seem like. Even though Harry wasn’t there, those three women did not waste any time in taking jabs at Y/N.

2.Helena broke up with Steffin

which came as a surprise to everyone. Jenna was having a field day with all the tea. Apparently, Helena had asked Steffin for money and a promotion and he did not agree with her being promoted just because she was his girlfriend. So she broke it off. Y/N felt sorry for him, he did not deserve it.

The drama did not stop there. She called him a ‘blood thirsty psychopath’ in front of all the employees. She cursed him out and stormed off into her cabin to collect her things. He retreated to his office, head hung low in shame and sadness.

Y/n felt her blood boil. Steffin was a good person, a good friend. She hated Helena.

After giving her resignation letter at the HR office, she came to Y/N’s cabin.

“Hey, Y/N, I just wanted to say goodbye.”

Y/N was really angry.

“Yeah, sure.” She said.

“ I know I've been a pain in the ass for many people here. I wanted to apologize for that as well.”

“It's fine, you're forgiven, it's not your fault. Some people are born assholes.” At this point she couldn’t not say anything to her, she was so mean to Steffin.

“Y/N, I get it, You are angry at me. But just hear me out please, I wanted to tell you something before I leave.” She pleaded.

Even though she was mad, she gave Helena a chance, “fine, make it fast, i have a meeting to attend .”

“Listen to me and listen to me closely when I say that you should stay away from Steffin. Please mind your own business.”

“ Pardon?”

“Please, just stay away from him, he is not who you think he is. Please understand this before you will regret your decisions.” Helena looked serious.

“Thank you for your concern, but don't worry about me. You are in no position to advise me, we all know what you did to him.” Y/N scoffed.

“I just said what I had to say, it’s your choice to do whatever you want with it.”

“Goodbye, Helena”, Y/N said with a tight lipped smile.

“Goodbye, Y/N, I hope you don’t die.” And with that , she left the office.

“What a bitch”, Y/N muttered and went back to work.

—---------------------

 Wednesday.

Y/N and Jenna were having brunch in the cafeteria as both of them forgot to have breakfast. Y/N saw people murmuring around them and caught their line of vision only to find the one and only Harry Styles walking towards Steffin’s office; and a woman helping him walk, holding him in a tight embrace. The same woman from that night.  

She was gorgeous, with brown hair and beautiful brown eyes.

Y/N abruptly stood up.

“Jen, I need to use the washroom, see you in the office.”

She didn’t wait for her reply and walked away. Y/N knew that was a lame move but she couldn’t care less.

—----------------------

Thank you for reading. Feedback is appreciated ☺️❤️

Masterlist

Please let us know if you want to be tagged/messaged for the coming chapters.

Taglist: @mendesblurb @violetsandfluff @reveriehs @a-strange-familiar @swiftmendeshoran @daphnesutton @f-folkwhore @buckybarnessimpp @lokis-girl03 @faith-in-midnights @drwho06

[thebigshotman]

(I couldn’t find a space for this in the post (and I know it’s been a couple of days, sorry 😓) but my full support and love goes to @worm-of-theseus as they transition from Spamton to Derecho!! Hopefully he and Spaul can still be friends somehow ❤️❤️)

Hello everyone! First off, before I say anything else, I want to apologize for the abrupt and lengthy absence. Not that such things aren’t commonplace for me at this point, which I also feel I should apologize for. At this point I think I should just stop saying I’m going to be on more consistently, cause my dumb, constantly-shifting-between-fixations brain is clearly not going to allow that. I’m sincerely sorry for all of that, everyone. Rest assured, offline I’ve been doing perfectly well and I’m in good health.

The past couple of weeks have been busy for me, between a busy Memorial Day and my Grandma’s birthday just a few days ago. Not to mention that the summer vacation laziness has kicked in at full force in between these busy events, making it impossible for me to sit the hell up and reply to stuff. I knew I wanted to take a break for a day or two, but I had no idea it was going to go on this long.

When I finally remembered I had stuff to reply to, my brain decided to distract itself even further by reminding me of this JJBA fan part I’ve been working on for ages. Which, of course, put off things more. I got a few chapters done, and still plan to work on it on and off over the summer, but it was frustrating that that was all that my brain wanted to work on when I have people waiting for me.

I’m going to be deleting all of the asks in my inbox-which are mostly from that muse shaming meme-so I can focus my attention on the threads, ancient as they are, that I owe. Hopefully that jolts my brain back into gear and brings me back. Maybe it’ll be tomorrow night, maybe it’ll be Saturday night. But my goal is to reply to what I owe sooner than later, as soon as my offline life stops being busy.

I hope no one is mad that I had to step away for almost two weeks and get my shit together. Part of me feels like everyone else is changing and growing and I’m stuck in a rut, but I’m happy with where my muses and I are and I’m forcing myself to realize that as long as I’m happy, it’s enough. I’m not saying that to make people feel guilty. I’m saying that because my dumb brain thinking stuff like that is also part of why I was gone so long.

I felt like quitting. But I’m not gonna stop. As long as people like my writing and characters, here I’ll stay. So thank you for being patient while I get myself back together. I only ask that you be patient for just a little while longer while I find a block of time to get to everything.

I’ll see you all soon.

Mun Bri ❤️❤️❤️

[staygoldwriting]

(I totally forgot to do this before the New Year!!! How I wish I could start CB again 😪)

I posted 441 times in 2022

That's 441 more posts than 2021!

171 posts created (39%)

270 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@toomanybandstocare

@galaxy-siren

@mad-elia

@beep-beep-sherlock

@babyghouly

I tagged 175 of my posts in 2022

#staygoldwriting - 113 posts

#eddie munson fluff - 75 posts

#eddie munson - 67 posts

#eddie munson imagine - 64 posts

#eddie munson x reader - 63 posts

#stranger things - 51 posts

#eddiemunson - 46 posts

#stranger things eddie - 45 posts

#eddie munson x female reader - 44 posts

#steve harrington fluff - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 41 characters

#we would listen to it together in the car

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

First Love, Part II

Summary: Y/N is a senior prep, Nancy Wheeler’s best friend, and quite possibly Eddie’s first love ❤️

Read Part I here!

Word count: 756

Warnings: Fluff upon fluff, Dustin continuing to be the best wingman 

A/N: This is part 2 of First Love! I hope you all enjoy it 🤗 

“That’s how the game is played, my friends!” Eddie yelled as the party reached their victory. As they all laughed, high-fived, and rejoiced, Eddie savored the moment along with them, then caught a glimpse of his watch.

“Hey!” he called above them. “It’s almost ten, scram before your parents hate me more!”

After everyone helped pack up, they left to the parking lot. Mike scanned the lot for Nancy’s car, but couldn’t see it anywhere. He began gathering courage to ask Eddie for a ride when you popped out of the car, waving wildly. 

“Hey! Mike! I’m filling in!” you yelled, and he and the other boys ran to you.

“Where’s Nancy?” Mike asked as he gave you a quick hug.

“Johnathan surprised her, so I volunteered to get you guys so they could spend some time together,” you explained, then hugged the rest of the boys.

“Hey, what’s are you?” Eddie said, shyly approaching you. “Wait, no, hey, what’s up, how are you? Gosh, Munson,” he scolded himself.

“Hi, Eddie,” you said warmly. “Johnathan’s visiting, so I’m picking up the boys for Nancy. I promise you I’m not stalking you or anything,” you blushed. Eddie smiled back at you, blushing too. 

“No worries. It, uh, it was a good campaign,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “Lots of… battles and stuff. And the cookies! The cookies were delicious,” he grinned. “You’re really sweet, I mean the cookies were sweet, but you’re sweet too, um.”

“You’re sweet too, Eddie,” you said touching his arm. He jumped a bit.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, drawing your arm away. 

“No, no, it’s fine, I just… nevermind. Thanks, for calling me sweet.”

“Of course, and I’m glad you liked the cookies,” you replied kindly. “Did you have a favorite?”

“Well, I loved the lemon ones, but Wheeler did hog them after all,” Eddie shrugged, smiling crookedly. “I only had one.”

“Oh, well next time I bake some, I’ll bring you some just for you,” you proposed.

“Thanks,” Eddie said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Or maybe you can teach me how to make them.” He looked down, not meeting your eyes.

“You wanna come over tomorrow?”

“Wait, what?”

“I have time tomorrow if you wanna come over,” you smiled. “Only if you want to.”

“I-ha-I would love to,” Eddie blushed, now meeting your eyes. 

“Does 2:30 work?”

“Definitely,” Eddie laughed in disbelief. “I can’t wait.”

“Me either,” you blushed. “Well, I guess I’ll seeya later, Eddie. Can I give you a hug?”

“Fire away,” Eddie chuckled, opening his arms. 

See the full post

731 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#4

Cousin Buckley: Part 3

Summary: You’re Robin’s cousin, and you’ve stolen the hearts of Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson 🖤💜

Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: none, just fluff!

Word count: 1201

A/N: I am having so much fun writing these, you guys! Thank you so much for all of the love, support, comments, reblogs, notes, follows, everything! It means so much, and I can’t wait to continue on with this series 🤗 I’m currently navigating the taglist, so I apologize for any problems!

“Welcome to Family Video!”

Robin opened the doors dramatically as you three stepped in. The previous workers wordlessly exited, thankful their shifts were over. 

“Don’t get your hopes up, Buckley,” said one worker, a tall thin boy with a zombie-like look, “we had like, two customers all day.”

“I know, Martin, I know,” she said energetically. “But I always make it work, don’t I?”

“You do,” Martin replied flatly. “That’s why I never do my shifts with you. I need to spend my misery in peace.”

“Alright, Martin, that’s enough for today,” Steve smiled, ushering him out then turning to you. “Want a tour?”

You nodded excitedly as he placed his arm gently around your shoulder.

“So, we’ve got the main desk here, as you can see,” he gestured with his other arm. “To the left are kids movies, romances, comedies, then adventure and fantasy stuff. To the right is the more intense stuff, like horror and thrillers and big action movies, like the Terminator.” 

“Smart divisions,” you said. “Was that your idea?”

“He wishes,” Robin snorted from the counter, then looked at Steve, panicking a bit. “He did organize the snacks though!” She quickly pointed at the display of snacks below the counter and you smiled. 

“You guys need Nerds,” you remarked. 

“I’ll make a note of it,” Steve smiled. “Okay, I’ll leave you to browse. Robin and I thought it would be fun to have a movie marathon night, so you’ve got your pick! Choose like three or four, but my only request is that one of them is Real Genius. I’ve been wanting to watch it for a while, but I haven’t had the time.”

“Same here!” you replied, smiling brightly. “I’ll grab that one for sure, and I also want to look for The Last Starfighter. I hear it’s really good.”

“Grab Sixteen Candles! Or Nightmare on Elm Street!” Robin called out.

“That’s quite the range,” you chuckled. “I’ll grab both.”

“Everything except Elm Street should be to your left,” Steve said. “Call out if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay, thanks Steve,” you smiled. 

He moved his arm away and jumped over the counter, joining Robin. As you started your browsing, you looked back at the counter to see Steve glancing up at you. As you caught his eye, he blushed, looking down and smiling widely. Robin smirked a bit, then shook her head. 

After looking around for a while, you found all of the movies and brought them up to the counter. Martin was right; not many people had stopped in to pick up a video, but you guessed it made sense for a Tuesday afternoon. 

“Okay, I found everything we need for tonight,” you told Steve, handing him the movies. “How much is it?”

“Oh, you’re not paying,” Steve said with a chuckle.

“I have to, I’m a customer!” you gasped, then leaned closer, making Steve lean too. “I can’t steal.”

“I know,” Steve mimicked your tone. “What I mean is that I will rent them.”

“Oh,” you said. “Are you sure?” you looked at him hesitantly.

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852 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

#3

Eddie is the type of boyfriend to stutter and freeze when you so much as hold his hand. Poor boy is touched starved and just loves being near you. He can’t think straight when you’re around.

If you surprise him with a flower that you picked on the way to meet him “just because it reminded me of you” his face warms with a light blush. He presses every flower you give him in a lil songbook he has dedicated to you.

It is time for soft, first relationship Eddie 😌

🌹Now a series!! Part II is here🌹

Is this... my call to action??? To write the fluffiest thing I've ever done so far (maybe except for Bunny Garden)??? 😍

✨First Love✨

(in which y/n is a senior prep and best friends with Nancy, and Eddie is head-over-heels in love with her) 785 words

“Hey, Eddie, hi everyone!” you said cheerily as you approached the Hellfire table at lunch. 

Eddie looked up from his lunch to see you standing in front of him, a wide, sincere smile on your face. He blushed as you two met eyes, and as he went to smile, a little bit of chocolate milk came out of his mouth, causing him to hide his face in embarrassment. 

“Hey, Y/N, what’s up?” Mike asked, trying to draw attention away from a flustered Eddie.

“Well, I was up late baking cookies last night, and I called Nancy, and she said you all have a club meeting tonight? Hellfire, right?” you asked, pointing at their shirts.

“Yeah, why? You wanna join?” Gareth asked, snickering. Eddie, now recovered, kicked him in the leg.

“Well,” you said, looking from Gareth to Eddie, “I thought maybe you’d like some cookies for your meeting tonight,” you held out a tupperware. “I made some chocolate chip, some oatmeal cookies, and some lemon ones. If you’d like, I’d be really happy to share them with your club. And Mike can bring the tupperware home, I’m sleeping over with Nancy tomorrow anyway,” you smiled, bouncing on your heels. 

“Um, sure, yeah, thank you, Y/N,” Eddie said, holding a shaky hand out to receive the cookies. His hand brushed yours slightly, making his blush return. 

“I like your rings,” you said sweetly.

“Oh, um, thanks.” Eddie was completely red at this point. 

“Well, have fun, and let me know what everyone thinks of the cookies! Mike, don’t hog all the lemon ones! Oh, and good luck with ‘The Cult of Vecna’,” you said in a scary voice. 

Eddie’s heart soared when he heard you talk about Hellfire, as if Nancy Wheeler’s best friend would ever be interested in something like that. He knew you were always nice, but he convinced himself that you were just cordial for the sake of Mike. He secretly dreamt that he was the reason you were so nice, that maybe you wanted to be friends… or even more. 

“Ha, nice memory, Y/N!” Dustin cheered, snapping Eddie out of his trance.

“You can come by if you want,” Eddie said quickly, then instantly regretted it. He felt his ears get hot and his hands start to shake again, this time along with his breath. You looked at him with wide eyes.

“Are you serious?”

“I-I mean, you could, but I know you probably have better things to do--”

“No, I don’t!” you exclaimed. “I just didn’t think I could go to Hellfire! Isn’t it exclusive? I wouldn’t want to intrude or anything like that, D&D seems so special and precious to you guys, and I wouldn’t want to ruin that, and gosh, now I’m rambling, but yes, I would love to stop by if you all would be willing to have me.”

“Eddie might, but I’m not,” Jeff spat. “It is exclusive. A prep like you can’t just waltz in and--”

“Hey, come on, she’s cool!” Mike argued. 

“Yeah, and besides, you’re not the leader, Eddie is! He invited her so she can come,” Lucas added.

“It’s okay, I don’t want to cause any trouble,” you said sadly. “I’ll just ask you guys how it went on Monday. Thank you for the invitation though, Eddie.” 

As you left to turn around, Eddie glared at Jeff angrily. He was still blushing intensely, but it could easily be disguised as fury. You looked back, wringing your hands, then went to your table to grab something. As you walked back to the boys, the same look of shock reappeared on their faces. You stood there, shuffling your feet as you let out a breathy giggle.

“I don’t know if I can wait until Monday,” you chuckled, then nervously held out a piece of paper. “This is my number, Eddie. Maybe you can call me after and tell me the details?”

Eddie’s mouth hung open as he stared at you in disbelief. Frozen, Eddie tried to speak, but nothing worked. Dustin sighed loudly, took your number, then placed it in Eddie’s hand. As Eddie closed it, a goofy smile broke across his face. You blushed and smiled brightly as you saw his happy face.

See the full post

1,765 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

#2

Cousin Buckley: Part 2

Summary: You’re Robin’s cousin, and you’ve stolen the hearts of Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson <3

In case you missed it: Part 1!

Warnings: none, just fluff :)

Word count: 1059

A/N: THANK YOU!!! I’m SO happy you guys enjoyed part 1! You make my heart so happy :’) <3 Here is part 2--please enjoy and send it some love, and if you want to join the taglist, please don’t hesitate to ask! 

“I can’t believe you finally have your license, Rob.”

“Oh, I don’t,” she frowned at you. “I’ve got a permit though! And this is also Steve’s car,” she continued, looking down at the BMW.

“So, I guess you should be up front then, huh Harrington?” Eddie smiled. “You know, to guide Robin--”

“Oh, she’ll be fine with Y/N in front--”

“Make sure she doesn’t wreck your baby?”

“It would actually be helpful, Steve,” Robin said, half-serious and half playing around for the fun of it. “I haven’t driven without you yet.”

Steve’s jaw tensed up. You saw him glance over at you, and you gave him a weak smile, which he returned with a sigh.

“Fine.”

Eddie opened the car door for you as you scooted in behind Robin’s seat. As Robin muttered to herself about mirror positions and if it was 10-and-2 or 11-and-3, Eddie asked you some small questions about your flight. Steve got in and looked back at you, giving you a more confident smile, but was then jolted by Robin peeling out of the parking lot.

“Robin!” he yelled, seizing the handle above the window.

“Sorry, sorry!” she apologized, “that was an accident.”

“It was sort of a rush,” Eddie shrugged, making you giggle. Steve looked back at him incredulously, smoothing his hair.

“Yeah, sure, cuz it’s not your car!” he gasped. “How would you feel if Robin played your guitar with sandpaper?”

“It was not that bad!” Robin argued, cheeks reddening. You patted her shoulder consolingly. 

“It wasn’t, and like you said, it was an accident, I’m sorry for freaking,” Steve said, collecting his calm. 

“Thanks Steve, but I’m still sorry. For the record, Eddie, this is exactly why I’ve never touched your guitar.”

“I appreciate that,” Eddie smiled.

“That’s cool that you play guitar,” you said, turning to him.

“Oh, thanks! I’m actually in a band, Corroded Coffin.”

“No way! Metal?”

“You know it,” he smirked. “We’re playing this weekend, wanna come?”

“Absolutely!” You smiled brightly. “Steve, do you wanna come too?”

Eddie’s face went pale as Steve turned around, beaming.

“I would love to, Y/N! Thank you so much for inviting me. What night are you playing, Eddie?”

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2,048 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Cousin Buckley

Summary: You’re Robin’s cousin, and two very eager boys join her at the airport to pick you up.

Warnings: none, just fluff :)

Word count: 837

Part 2!

“For the record, I think you two being here is super weird.”

Upon hearing that Robin had a beautiful cousin--you--Steve and Eddie decided to accompany her to the airport to pick you up. She was standing at the baggage claim, Steve on her right and Eddie on her left, both fidgeting excitedly.

“You’re not gonna think it’s weird when she falls in love with me,” Steve argued. 

“Or me,” Eddie added. “You can’t win every battle, Harrington. That movie star smile’s got to be a dud on some women. I just hope one of them is Y/N.” He said your name dreamily.

��You guys don’t even know anything about her,” Robin snorted, crossing her arms.

“That’s what the ride back to Hawkins is for,” Eddie said. “We get in the car, we offer to let her choose the music--”

“We let her choose who to sit by in the car--” Steve continued.

“She’s sitting in the front with me. You losers are in the back.”

“Aw, come on--”

“Robin!”

You were waving wildly to your cousin as she spied you and ran to you, hugging you tightly. You laughed a bit as you swayed back and forth. Robin was always your favorite cousin; she was the only one remotely near your age. You decided to visit her at the start of your summer break, then you’d get home… eventually.

“Gosh, it’s so great to see you, Rob!” you exclaimed, breaking the hug. “You look amazing, I love what you’ve done with your hair!”

“She likes hair, you hear that, Munson?” Steve whispered, nudging Eddie’s side.

“You really think your hair is better than mine?” Eddie whispered back.

“It’s great to see you too!” Robin replied, speaking loudly to mask her friends’ banter. “How was your flight?”

“It was okay, a little cramped, so I’m glad to be off it! How long is the car ride home?”

“Less than an hour, but it’s going to feel longer,” Robin groaned. “You can thank the two weirdos behind me for that.”

You peered behind Robin to see the two boys suddenly stop fidgeting and smile goofily at you.

“Steve Harrington,” he extended his hand. “It’s Y/N, right?”

“Yep,” you said, shaking his hand. “Nice to meet you Steve, I’ve heard lots about you from Robin.”

“So you have,” Steve smirked, looking back at Eddie, who scoffed. “I’m hoping it’s all been good.”

“Oh sure, but you’re much better-looking in person.”

Steve blushed madly, laughing a bit.

“Robin told me you’re a fan of flattery,” you smiled, making Steve a little nervous. “Don’t worry, I meant what I said! And I also want to say thanks for taking care of my little Rob. She needs it!”

“Anytime.” Steve met your eyes and smiled, making you blush a bit. 

See the full post

2,879 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

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[anitalenia]

an explanation…

HI EVERYONE!! First off, I would like to apologize for being away for so long with no word as to why, and for disappearing off the face of the earth for half a year. I apologize for not posting in so long, and for not even finishing setting up my blog. I’m not going to give excuses, I will only tell you the truth.

During these last few months a lot of stressful things have happened. I lost my job, familial drama, and my depression suddenly just hit me full force and I ended up in a big bad slump. I lost all motivation I had to finish this blog and my stories, and I ended up just wasting away as much as my unfinished stories have in my drafts. But it’s okay now, and sometimes people just have bad days. For me, it was a few months. Those things happen, and anyone who struggles with mental health will understand that when those moments happen, they really hit you 😭.

Anyway, as I said before I am feeling so much better now, and things are starting to look up for me. I got a new job, and I’m finally out of that several month long slump, and I’m starting to really focus on me and my health and happiness. I’ve really improved on my writing skills, and my inspiration and love for writing has just hit me full force. I feel ready and eager to really finish and update my blog, and really get things started again. I’m not sure how long this joyous feeling will last, but I’m going to make the most of it while it’s there.

Im not saying to expect anything tomorrow, or maybe even two days from now, but within these next few weeks I will finally finish updating my links and creating my pages. I will have a fully functional blog, and probably some stories out as well 😁 Like I said before, I have so many ideas now, and my passion for creating things and writing stories has come back (thank god). I may have to delete everything and start brand new, as I’ve noticed a few problems with my links and posts that were due to my lack of activity. Of course that would suck, but I’ll do whatever it takes to have a successful blog that I can be proud of.

I’m grateful to have a platform, even if it is small, to share my stories and thoughts with such kind and encouraging people 💖 I’m so happy to be able to share my stories and ideas with an audience who likes them, and create things for other people to enjoy them as much as I do. I’m grateful for every single follower I have, every repost I see, every like on a post, and every sweet comment under a post I’ve made. I’m glad I make people happy with what I create, and I hope I didn’t let anyone down.

Anyway, to conclude this long apology 😅, just know I’m thankful for all of you and everyone who’s supported me in this endeavor. You all mean the world to me and inspire me so much, so I’m sorry for being so absent on here. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Again, expect greatness in the weeks to come, and thank you for being a proud member of Anitalenia Land!!!

[starlingsrps]

electric touch.

after twelve plus hours of decoding and arguing and decoding some more, dorey emerges from hut six feeling like an over cooked egg. or undercooked. she’s exhausted and hungry - she’s not very creative when she’s fully awake and she’s starving besides. the codes were changing - easier because they knew more or less what they were looking for now and harder because the germans were starting to get a little desperate. she despises night shift but also never tires of the thrill of being in the first group to crack for the day. her desire for sleep and competitive drive have always been in direct conflict with each other, never more than here.

the sun has the audacity to be shining when she kicks her bicycle away from the tree she’d left it against last night. she has a pounding headache from the eye strain (she adds finding an optometrist to her list of things to ask jessa about when she’s next in london) and a churning gut from nothing but black coffee. she doesn’t trust her balance to ride the bicycle and instead walks alongside if it, thankful for even a little bit of assistance. her lodging is close but she’s not there right now so it’s very far indeed. she’s wheeling across the lawn when she hears what could be her name but could also be a shouted apology. though this is full of oxbridge people and god knows none of them have ever shouted and -

“dorey?”

christ on the cross, is she being punished by an ironic universe for being an immature nightmare three years ago? is this delayed penance for some childhood offense? is she not allowed to see sidney halstead when she doesn’t look like a bedraggled hamster. she blinks in the direct sunlight that seems to have decided to shine directly in her eyes and shades them with her free hand. “hello sidney,” she says. “i’ve been awake for twenty four hours so i apologize but are you real or am i hallucinating?”

he laughs and closes the distance between them. “no, i’m real. can’t say why but i’m here for a few days.”

“of course.” she tries to look awake and engaged and not yawn. “welcome, welcome. don’t touch anything.”

“are you…” he cocks his head at her and yes, she must resemble a plague victim at this point. “okay?”

“i need to eat a sandwich and get some sleep but i’ll be fine.” she fights back a yawn, sure her jaw is stretching like a snake. “late night. morning. christ, what time is it?”

“about ten.”

“it was four the last i checked so that’s nice.” 

“do you need me to make sure you get back home?” he asks. “you look like you might keel over or wander into traffic.”

“that’s what the bicycle is for,” she says, giving it a friendly pat, like it’s a beloved horse. “i’ll be fine. i’m a minute away.”

“are you sure?”

“extremely. very.” she remembers that he’s visiting and manners kick back in. “do you want to have dinner later maybe?”

“sure, if you survive.”

“settled. dinner. after six. seven. absolutely seven.”

“absolutely seven. maybe tomorrow?”

“no, no.” she waves her hand in front of her mouth as she forces back another yawn. “i’ll be resurrected by seven.”

“do i need to track you down again or are you going to tell me?”

“five prince street, come around the back.” she yawns again and this time she can’t stop it. “excuse me.”

he shakes his head but it’s fond. “go home dorey.”

he heads off towards the manor house and she manages to get herself back to prince street and the former’s cooks quarters that’s her bolt hole. her landlady is as deaf as a post and seems to take her hot plate as a personal offense and there are no windows but she can come and go as she pleases and after night shift, the cool dark is bliss.

she falls asleep as soon as her head hits her pillow and when she wakes up, she feels much better, damn near human again. a shower and a sandwich had taken her the rest of the way and once her brain function had been restored, she realized that she had somehow managed to ask sidney on something of a date tonight. not that dinner has to lead to anything, of course - it just usually had in the past. it didn’t mean that she would pick up the habit again but it did show prior action and probability being what it was - it could. 

“you will not sleep with him,” she tells herself sternly in the cracked bureau mirror. she wags her hairbrush at her reflection for emphasis but it doesn’t seem to have any effect on her.

the sun has started to dip when her watch ticks to seven. she smooths her dress one more time - it’s a poppy red one with little white flowers that jessa bullied her into buying. it’s entirely too bright for the but and red makes one of the other code breakers nauseous but she likes it and damnit, if she’s accidentally asked a man on a date, she’d like to feel nice. sid is waiting at the stairs, leaning against the railing in wait and when she turns around from locking the back door, he’s looking at her funny.

“what?”

he shakes his head as though to clear it. “almost didn’t recognize you,” he says. “you look so much more alive than the last time i saw you.”

dorey rolls her eyes and joins him at the. bottom of the stairs. “i forgot what a sweet talker you are. any other compliments or are you going to feed me?”

he holds out an arm for her and she hesitates before tucking her hand in the crook. “i’ll come up with something. do me a favor though?”

she considers a quick remark but there’s something sincere in his tone that has her holding it back. 

“let’s not talk about the war. you can’t, i really don’t want to after today.”

“i can do that. what do you want to talk about instead?”

“literally anything. mushrooms. bricks. grass. cats.”

“are you just listing things you can see?”

he smiles down at her and her stomach flips. “it’s a start.”

she smiles back. “let’s start with mushrooms.”

they make their way to the village pub and she remembers just how easy he is to talk to. as promised, he doesn’t ask her about her work and she doesn’t ask him about his. they exhaust the subject of mushrooms fairly quickly but move onto others - she likes to hear his opinions on things, to talk and discuss and make him laugh. it’s heady stuff for her to remember how good it feels to be around someone like him. he’s smarter than he thinks but not nearly as stuck up about it as everyone she’s surrounded with day in and day out. by the time they leave, she’s damn near smitten with him all over again.

when he kisses her, it feels like no time has passed at all. her body remembers this, remembers twining her arms around his neck to level their height difference, the way his hands grip her hips and smoothly guide her to press her against the alley’s brick wall. while she has been kissed since he left, this is just a reminder that he always did it exactly right. 

he doesn’t try to lift her - she hates being lifted without being asked and too many men try. she always feels like she’s about to be smuggled off like some piratical wench of done incorrectly. his hands are sure and when she nips at his lower lip, the kiss goes deeper and harder. her head thuds against the brick for a second but one of his hands moves to cups the back of her head as a cushion. 

this at least has always worked for them. 

“can i-“

he asks and she nods eagerly. her legs bracket his waist and after a moment of quick rearranging, he has her pinned between him and the wall. she sinks her fingers into his hair and she abandons thought.

“slow down,” he gasps, even as his hands on her bare thighs feel like a starting gun. she can’t tell if he’s telling her or himself. “baby, slow down. just a second.”

oh, her. she tries to still, meeting him in the middle when the kissing turns slow and deep. slow is nice, slow is fine but then she remembers that he has a very nice neck that he liked having kissed three years ago. for the sake of experimentation, she tries it and gets a muffled moan. she tries it again with a little more bite and gets him swearing which feels like victory.

“damnit dorey,” he grunts, pinning her a little harder - as though that’s going to deter her.

“i wasn’t going to do this,” she says, half laughing and half moaning when his hips jerk against hers. one of them should probably start thinking straight but it’s not going to be her at this rate. nor him, to be perfectly honest. neither of them are, with the gift of hindsight, particularly good at thinking straight around each other.

“told myself the same damn thing.” he doesn’t drop her but gently untangles them to set her back in the ground. “we need to go somewhere. i can’t get court martialed for having my dick out.”

she told herself a lot of things and has forgotten them all. “mine. private entrance. deaf landlady.”

“damn, you hit the jackpot.” he picks up her handbag from where it dropped. she hadn’t even realized. frankly she’s forgotten she ever even owned one in the first place. she takes it in one hand and laces her fingers with his with the other. “lead the way.”

“can they court martial you for indecent exposure?”

“i’m not finding out with you.”

[30306-home]

should’ve posted above song first, explanation at the end of this one:/

12:01am march 4 2024

i feel like i’m going to explode. or i need to and am totally paralyzed. this has literally officially consumed me. like it pressing with all it’s weight on every second- literally. i’m so stuck right, and it’s like i’m realizing okay, you’re not finding the door and could have wondered past it without knowing 4 months ago, 4 minutes? i’m tired, i can’t explain anything, overwhelmed is easy next to this, my hands and knees are bleeding, i’m can’t stand this, i’m physically depleted, i’m not present. i’m acting because i can tell, i’m too on edge, everything is so twisted, i don’t recognize or trust it, i saw my reflection i realized today and it felt life it was so surreal… i just completely forgot or or have been so in my head that i haven’t registered seeing my reflection… how that’s the measure of how detached i am from the coherent world happening around me. i haven’t thought to look in a mirror because, the only sense i can make is that it’s one of a million other mundane mindless things, just markers of what degree of trust i’ve actually let go of? like how i’m laying here now and bursting at the seams with all the willpower in the world, but you need trust in order to move with willpower, something? it’s like, i don’t know if i’m getting that right or wrong just like everything else, but there’s something grounded just enough to say, okay, what feels unreal is real. this is real, but you’re just screwed now.

stress of not understanding something you’ve experienced knowing so well really messes you up. you can’t distinguish anything from anything anymore? everything is possible not what it seems, and when that starts getting into you whole world, just… what?? the toll on my health is beyond an alarming reason to snap to, get to wherever i’m nearly killing myself to. and is far behind my priorities, feels like just a real annoyance. even though i have some concept of it literally not being sustainable… i can be in denial, which i’ll be the first to admit i absolutely am, it’s moving at a pace that i’m just not at. cortisol/adrenal glands, off the rails- nothing to do with my regular stuff to manage. and one EXTREMELY stupid symptom to recently emerge (again, inconsistent with other stuff, stress induced, no doubt) is these mini narcoleptic episodes happening all-the-freaking-time (for the most part, not while i’m writing right now, but totally unpredictable and uncontrollable… example, yesterday it seriously took me and hour/two(?) to write my dad a TWO line text! because i was going in to an unconscious sleep state, repeatedly, waking immediately, repeatedly, faster than i could type a full word. and those two lines are nothing legible… its not like i eventually really finished the text, i was sending bit by bit, and thankfully he knew what was going on so wasn’t alarmed. if it were someone else, i wouldn’t have kept torturing myself with trying- but when i do it’s because it’s THAT INFURIATING, and i ALWAYS think i can get myself out if i really try, no. must give in and wait. on. it. wait it out. i have a dentist appt tomorrow and can basically count on it happening there… sorry dr stewart, but i’m not going to be able to control my muscles to stay still for you, my bad if your scalpel or whatever goes through my cheek? (since your probably wondering, yes, i am driving, but can feel enough warning to get in a parking lot, open my sunroof, and, wait). sunroof’s are my saving grace, really, much safer than cracked windows that weirdos can mess with for turning off car but getting air.

check out how i just spent that hour and a half. so perfect. (i’m sorry, i’m at a fuck it, i’m frustrated beyond, giving into complaining (not good) and i seriously apologize, maybe i think a explanations will help? help what, don’t know?).

i’ve been up till 7 or 8 each morning circling in the minimum novel’s worth i’ve already written- that what it’s also so stupid, but cause it’s not like that’s even the problem… it’s too much for me to read just to find where to cut and paste💦

i also tend to weasel out of it even if i do with the idea of mention others with out them knowing. i know and i think you do that there’s nothing sneaky it gossipy about it… that some of the content, but i’m pretty sure i’m wayyyyyyy overthinking. naturally.

bless, all of it🙇🏻‍♀️🧸🌈

OMG ANNA YOU HAVE TO SPEAK!!!! AT LEAST MOVE PAST EVERYTHING STRAIGHT TO END BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY PART THAT REALLY MATTERS BECAUSE IT’S THE RACE WITH TIME PART, AND THAT THE ONLY….. thing of it all.

i wonder if i could manage trying that strategy?

correction: the past 2 hours.

how are you?

i was listening to an old go to in emergency record and heard a song i’ve heard a million times in a different context than what it’s literally about- i love when that happens. anyway it was a way that reminded me of you and brendan.

[attractive-nuisance-esq]

Hi there, first of all, I want to apologize for trauma-dumping all over your post, but it really struck a chord with me, and it really makes me feel like I’m not as alone as I am. Normally, I’d just thank you and be on my way, but I’ve been sober for about a month now, and I’ve finally realized that I’ll never be able to get help or make friends or start to course correct if I can’t even ask for the things I need, and I just desperately need a friend right now, but I’m just so scared of trying to put myself out there again. The world has never been an easy place for me to navigate, and I have so much grief and rage in me that feels like it is eating me alive. 

I am trying so hard, and I always keep failing and I hate that about myself. I can now acknowledge that my drinking was a coping mechanism and a weapon that I was using to hurt myself. I thought I deserved every fucked up thing in life that has happened to me, I still think that most of the time, I know I’ll never be ‘normal’, but I can’t stop hoping that there’s a place and people for me somewhere..I keep wondering what my life would have been like if I’d been born different, or ‘better’ somehow. I am so sorry, this is all stream-of-consciousness stuff, and I don’t intend to upset you. Your post just struck a chord with me, and I’ve spent the last day basically sobbing because I don’t know how to get this awful poison out of myself. I don’t know how to silence that voice that is always telling me I’ll never be good enough, my life doesn’t hold any value, what the fuck did I think anyway, if my own parents didn’t like me, who would? I don’t know. Thank you for letting me chat at you, and thank you for sharing your story. I just thought it was wonderful and it really hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m trying so hard, and I’m not even sure if it’s too late, but it always feels like I’m screaming into a void and the world would be a better place without me, so thank you for taking a moment to reach out to a stranger. It really means a lot. 

I hope you have a wonderful day, and I am so genuinely sorry if this note makes you uncomfortable in any way.

Babydoll (gn), you don’t need to apologize for taking me up on something I freely offered. If I didn’t have the bandwidth right now to give a little time and a few spoons to someone newly sober, I’d have sent an emoji and moved on. I wrote that post first and foremost for me - almost like a journaling exercise, just to get the feelings out of my head - but I also wrote it for everyone else on here watching Ed and going Through It with him. Maybe someone like you would see it and feel less alone. 🖤 I’m glad we’ve connected through the mental breakdown of a fictional gay pirate; pretty sure that was David Jenkins’ plan all along. 😏

A couple things: I didn’t want to leave you waiting and wondering and worrying about offending me all day, but I am technically “working” right now (I mean. As much as anyone “works” while they’re obsessively refreshing tumblr on new episode days, haha!). I want to give my response to you my full attention and the time it deserves, so I’ll do it properly later tonight or tomorrow at the latest, okay?

The other thing is that I know some of this stuff is really personal and you may not want it floating around as a tumblr post, so if you’d rather chat via DM but felt that was too forward of you, I’m more than happy to move there. But I’m also at a place now where I’m okay with sharing my shit in public, so if for whatever reason you want to keep this conversation going as an ask, that’s completely fine with me, too. Just let me know what makes you most comfortable.

In the meantime, take it one day at a time. And when that doesn’t work, one hour at a time. Sometimes it’s one minute, one second. I hate AA bullshit, but they got that part right. Hang in there until I can whittle you a little wooden shark and hand it over for your safe keeping. 🦈

[chazz-is-a-zelda-fan]

mech rant because i’m not okay (tw for food n mentions of ed’s under the cut) {i’m okay for now dw it’s just… a lot}

i distinctly remember one time in a discord server i was in, there was a food channel, and seeing as i was recovering from an ED at the time, i asked if i could be removed from it or at least have it be made something that the other members could censor. they’d done a similar thing for another member’s phobia, and i figured since it was a very accepting server all would go well. it did! the owner of the server was a very nice person, and everything was fine…

until someone made a post in the food channel. and someone else decided to go and ask in general why there needed to be a censor for food, since yk you need it to live n shit. and i…

i didn’t know how to explain myself. how do you explain it?

all i knew was that i’d feel guilty and horrible looking at food, and on days like yesterday when i was treated to some amazing food, i felt like shit afterwards because i had enjoyed myself. i ate a ‘lot’, and i felt so guilty even though they’d been happy to cook for me and my family, and i hadn’t even gotten full.

it’s just… weird, i guess. “i feel guilty for doing a basic task that i need to live” is an odd sentence, but that’s how it is. and it’s never just as simple as rationalizing it as “task i need to do to survive”. i’m well aware of that.

how do i explain that i forget to eat for days on end sometimes? that if not prompted, ill maybe have a snack in the morning and nothing else? that i feel bad for taking food gladly offered to me? that enjoying myself feels wrong?

i’m trying to get better. i’m trying to eat more than a little a day. and it’s easier some days and harder others. it’s… tiring. not to mention i’m constantly shamed for WHAT i eat, since i’m mexican-american and can’t handle a lot of ‘normal’ foods. {i can’t stand beans or avocado. the texture makes me die.}

i know who’s to blame and it’s not me. i’m not the one who shamed myself into barely eating and overworking myself. i’m not the one who said it wasn’t okay for me to have fun with food. it’s just so hard unlearning all of it. but hey, when all else fails, throw it in the trauma pile! lord knows i’ve got more than enough to go around.

i’m sorry if i made y’all worry about me on this post. i don’t mean to, i just need to air out my thoughts somewhere and my notes app just aint cuttin it anymore, you know? {oh god you can practically FEEL the Texan emanating from the screen. i apologize.}

i should have some art tomorrow, so i’ll see y’all then! and, thank you for reading :) 💫💫💫🤍🖤