#Tone-Deaf Bard

[lily-blackstone]

That Time I Found Out My Grandma Was A God: 3 Archons Idiots

So the Archons find a way to come to your world and that's when you find out that your grumpy old grandma who lives in the middle of butt-fuck no where is actually an ancient god.

Also, I've never actually played Genshin thanks to ✨N o S p a c e✨ so forgive me if the characters are slightly OOC, I mainly only know shit about the Archons so I'm gonna write about them because I randomly got this idea while reading SAGAU fics. Don't judge me, I know you've fantasised about characters from a fandom you're not part of purely due to the fact they look hot.

Also I'm new to Tumblr so if I make some dumb mistakes please have mercy. Also, the characters aren't yandere and this isn't really a Cult AU it's more like the creator is just connected by soul to the universe and it's people so the people do like make offerings and shit but it's not mandatory. Also, this is kinda just a crack fic which I plan on turning into a series so-

TW: Swearing, Hot Grandma

(Also, did any of you catch the reference in the title? And no it's not supposed to be a reference to "That Time I Reincarnated as a Slime")

----

You were just paying your grandma her monthly visit and after a lengthy drive and getting lost in the forest. Oh yes, your grandma decided she wants to live in a random-ass forest in the middle of butt-fuck no where all by herself. No red flags. Finally, you found the neat little two story cabin your grandma lives in and parked you car in the front.

You got out and were about to go up to the door when suddenly the door is almost torn off its hinges as three weird looking individuals come flying out and crashing into your car. You had just barely doged and were thankfully unscathed. But unfortunately, you couldn't say the same for your poor, poor, innocent, young car... Not even a moment later your grandma came stomping up to the door, yelling "AND STAY OUT, YOU FREAKS!-" She was about to slam the door when she noticed you. Before you had the chance to question what in fucks name was going on, one of the three people rose up "Oh C'mon your Grace! We haven't bothered you for a whole century! Won't you plleeeaasseee come back? Just for one day? For the anniversary of the day Teyvat was created~?!"

You finally got a good look at the weirdo and realised they looked an awful lot like Venti. A cosplayer maybe? But what the hell was he talking about?! You turned to your Grandma, confused "Uhh... Grandma...? Mind explaining?" Granny was about to say something when 'Venti' interrupted her "Oh wow! Are you her Majesty's grand child! Hello! It's so nice to meet you! I'm Venti or Barbatos! The Anemo Archon!" He said, shaking your hand violently. Suddenly your grandma grabbed him by the collar and threw him into a tree, leaving you stunned. Somehow though, he got back up as if nothing happened. Granny scoffed "I put up with Teyvat's shit for thousands of years! Let me enjoy my retirement!" "Your self-proclaimed retirement..." the odd man resembling Zhongli corrected but shut up with a glare from your grandma. "Um, Grandma, please explain what the fuck is going on!" you demanded again and your grandma sighed before grabbing your arm and pulling you into her cabin.

After serving you both tea she went on to explain how she's a God and that Teyvat is actually real and she created it and how one day she just got sick of putting up with Teyvat's nonsense and decided to retire with no warning and live as a mortal in some random-ass orphaned universe. Where she found a random-ass kid on the side of the road and adopted it who then went on to grow up and find another random-ass kid on the side of the road (you) and adopt it.

To prove it she transformed into her original form and...

Damn...

GRANDMA WAS SMOKIN

...

You wanted to bang your head into a wall

So after all that you bid your grandma goodbye, still very shaken up and when the door closes and you turn around...

You see the three Archons sitting patiently in front of the stairs leading up to the cabin door. They're all staring at you and you feel like there's something you're supposed to do but have no idea. Finally Venti is about to speak but is quickly interrupted by Ei who politely bowed her head "Miss/Sir [Name], we would like you to convince your grandmother to please return to Teyvat... If even for a few hours... We just wish for her to see how much has changed in her absence and to bless the land for the Ceremony held in celebration of the day Teyvat was born..." she finished and you didn't exactly know what to say "Umm.... Listen... She's reeeaallyyy mad right now thanks to you guys and I REEEAALLYYY don't wanna get beat with a sandal right now so-" You dash to you car only to remember its unfortunate demise.

And you're also stopped by Venti... "I know! We could live with you and slowly convince her to come back!" you blink.

" W h a t "

And that's how your life with Momma Ei, male-wife Zhongli and the dumbass 'tone-deaf bard' started.

[btns]

Tone-deaf bard

[mcx7demonbros]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VENTI! 💚

Happy Birthday to the Tone-Deaf Bard, the Storyteller, the Drunkard God, the Anemo Archon Barbatos, Venti! 🎉🎉🎉

[thetravelingdress23]

The Breezy Ode outfit[default]

[yoongscrafts]

[nxptvne-13]

Venti. Wind Spirit Form.

💙💙💙

[wolfbeestudio]

Happy Birthday to the tone-deaf bard, the Archon of Anemo, our beloved Venti~

[drawingswatson-holmes]

BW Popstarion Au 🩸🧶✨ | Gale's his manager

WHOA THIS GOT SCRAMBLED UP WHEN IT UPLOADED

Not sure but surely brain-rotting 🫠 I'm so nauseous rn drawn by Watson

[madamchriss]

Genshin fans come get y’all juice 🙄🙄

Forced to play this game by my sister, so I decided to draw characters she recommended based on how I imagined them 😝😝

I will admit Diluc kinda…

[scarletkako]

I've been trying to get faster at doing the linework so here's a practice drawing I did a while back along with the picture I was using for this study Also thought that Archon Venti would look cute as an angel

[pinksockllama]

Venti

[gaiamossiah]

commissioned chibi venti but red...for halloween hehe

[celestialpulse]

@venitdomum liked!

"You know Diluc, it's getting easier and easier to pilfer from your storages. Just look. Six ap-" Before the bard could finish, one of the apples wiggled free and rolled down the roof of the Dawn Winery and off the edge. "Heh, better make that five apples and a bottle of wine."

[onafreckledsunflower]

People: If Zhongli and Venti had a child it would Xiao.

Me: WRONG.  If Zhongli and Venti had a child it would be Dan Heng.

Tall, Dark Haired, Elegant, Sussy, Green, Windy, Dragon Boy.  Full of dangerous secrets up to his eyeballs who can troll and lie with a straight face right to your face with no hesitation.  

Who also tolerates an extremely loud and exuberant and mischievous Best Friend/Potential Love Interest that forces them into dealing with the world rather than hiding away and brooding with their books and their tea that they absolutely did not ask for and did not want until it was far too late to back out of the friendship but would now gladly die for.  All while hiding their giant heart eyes with dry sass and a scowl...

[not-the-darknight]

Ah, Diluc! Just curious, think I could score a free wine today?

.... Go ahead. Just this once.

[candy-cocktail]

One night when Mukai was working, a young man, evidently already partially tipsy entered the bar, and sat at the counter, fishing out some of the money he'd made playing in the town square earlier that day.

He grinned brightly, a slight slur to his words, but not enough to say he's drunk. "One glass of dandelion wine, please!" he requests, batting his eyes at her. That said, he looks... young. Really young. As in, possibly underage. Which begs the question of who already gave him enough alcohol to get him tipsy...

— @anemoacedia

The mixologist greeted him with a smile, raising an eyebrow at how young he looked. On one hand, if he's already tipsy, it should be fine to serve him. But then again..

She shrugged. Better safe than sorry. "Sure thing! Could I just see your ID first, sir?"