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mindfulrunner · 9 years

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#53: ottawa marathon: content, but still hungry

It has been over a week since the Ottawa marathon. Time for a formal recap, before the experience melts out of my brain and into the ether, only to haunt me the next time I get serious about fall training - what did I learn?

Goals:

For my second marathon, my main goals were straightforward:

1. Arrive to the starting line healthy (a challenge given my 5 week long cold and ongoing shin whining)

2. Run under sub 3:10 (which my time of just under 2:11 at Around the Bay 30k indicated was in the realm of possibility)

3. Not be a wuss (the language I used was more colourful but kinda sexist - as Betty White puts it, pussies can take a pounding!)

Coach’s instructions were great: “You are prepared. So don’t dwell on pace. You know what you want and what you need to do. As in your recent pattern, stay patient and go for it when you get into the groove.” So let’s add:

4. Stay patient.

My deep secret goals were trickier: run 3:05 – 3:07 (4:24-4:27 pace) on a warmish day by:

5. Staying cool

6. Staying hungry

To me, staying cool meant being tactical on the course with the water stations, taking advantage of my husband’s presence along the course to hand me cooling items, and, most importantly, to pace myself optimally to squeak my time down to these lower numbers. Staying hungry meant believing in myself and silencing the doubters before the race who indicated I should stick to a 3:10 pace. I had something to prove.

The Plan

I wrote up the following strategy and hoped to execute it:

1-10km: 4:28-4:31 pace. Ease in and seize natural gaps that emerge with the aim to come it at the 10k mark between 44-45 minutes

6-20k: Dial back pace if possible and creep toward goal. Work with the crowd around you. Eat, drink and relax.

20-35k: Find a group at pace or slightly faster and latch on. Expect for the pace to require increasing effort the further you run. Begin to focus and channel positive thoughts like “I can do this”, “I am made to go the distance”, “I can handle this no problem”. Goal pace at the half marker: 1:32-1:33. Goal pace at 30k: 2:12-2:13.

35-42k: Expect it will be hard. Relax. You can endure. You can flow. Don’t be a wuss. Don’t count yourself out.

Prepare

Saturday went off without much of a hitch. Friday night I tried to be “fun” by staying out until 1am (we arrived in Ottawa at 11pm) and enjoyed a drink with Jeff in the Byward Market. So, in order to bank the sleep I would not get Saturday night, I slept in until about 12 and then immediately began carb loading before heading over to the Expo.

My goal at the Expo was to limit stress but also secure a 3:10 or 3:05 pace wristband. Unfortunately, none were left, but I made a mental plan to create one on my own using some clear tape, pen, and paper. My failure to do so is now a “lesson learned”.

The day got away from me (also known as: I managed time poorly). My parents were coming into town to meet for dinner and I needed to get a shakeout run in, since I skipped my Friday night run. After dinner (gluten free pasta and probably too much butter), everything was closed. What’s more, because our room got downgraded, I no longer had a kitchen and had to make my oats at my parents’ hotel. Also: the front desk at the hotel had just run out of packing tape. So, no time/supplies to DIY a bracelet.

So I spent the evening slightly fretting over my lack of a pace bracelet and one lost compression sock slightly before settling into bed around 10:30. Jeff went to a sports bar to watch playoffs hockey. I was probably being very annoying to be around: lots of whining and fearful noises (”Use your words, dear”) to try and express I didn’t want a normal piece of paper for the pace chart, since I anticipated dumping water all over myself: temps were to begin at 14 and rise to about 20 by the time I finished the event (10:15am), which, to a runner, feels more like 24 rising to 30. And I didn’t want to run with a single or mismatched compression sock for what I thought were very obvious reasons. Why I couldn’t wear my back-up socks remains unknown.

Anyway, I had wanted to be lying in bed by 9pm, but didn’t make it there until 10:30pm. I read a little of Running with the Mind of Meditation. I went to bed relatively calm and slept decent.

Showtime

I got up at 4:45 and ate my oats and banana and went back to bed until 5:30… thrilling, right?!

At 5:45 (slept in!) I made coffee, sipped Gatorad while I got dressed, applied sunscreen, and basically hung around going to the bathroom (pre-race nerves announce themselves so gracefully). I was just about an 8 minute jog from the start line so I wanted to hang here until about 40 minutes before the race, which was set to start at 7am.

I eventually jogged over and stood in line at another porta potty. This is TMI, I know, but I never really totally relieved myself, which worried me briefly about the need to make a mid-race stop, although I thankfully did not need to in the race.

I warmed up a tiny bit and saw a few of the Pace & Mind runners and a Black Lungs runner from Toronto. But I said nothing, as is my “it’s before 10am” way of living. I probably only warmed up 2k, with a couple strides.

I took my place between the 3:05 and 3:10 pace bunny. I tried to relax… and I think I straight up was relaxed! I looked around: there were a lot of fit looking men and just a few women in this group! I felt proud to be among them. I overheard the 3:10 pace bunny chatting with some numbers. He mentioned his PB was 2:56 “some years ago”, and I thought that was cutting it close. Typically bunnies choose a very comfortable effort. I realized a lot of 30-40 year old guys were surrounding him because sub 3:10 was a BQ for that category.

The race started. I stayed with the 3:10 pace bunny for a bit before my watch started saying crazy numbers like 4:10 pace. I eased off and tried to keep the group a reasonable distance away. I tried to relax and enjoy the early crowds. But I kept wondering what the heck was going on with this bunny….

At the same time, at 2k I realize my Garmin is having an “off” day. Usually it says I’m going way faster than slower. Keep in mind I was making an effort to NOT weave much for the first 10k and instead wait for gaps to open. But I cross the official 2k flag in exactly 9 minutes, which is fine, but my watch was telling me I’m averaging 4:15-20 kms and that I have run significantly further than 2k.

Key Decision

I decide to ignore my average pace on the watch and instead use the manual lap function and do mental math/counting….

2 Hrs Later

…which is basically what I did for the next 2 hrs, I think, because I remember very little else except the following:

Realizing the 3:10 bunny was way fast at the 5k and 10k timing mats and chatting about it with a couple of fellow runners, including Matt, the fellow who built Monarch Park stadium and gave a shoutout to Longboat

Consciously avoiding running with the group of 20 or so guys around the bunny due to the extra heat the group was giving off

Drinking Gatorade at EVERY station and dumping the water on my head to cool off as a “pre-cooling strategy”. I was anticipating it getting really hot toward the end of the race which can be treacherous

Eventually heeding the advice of one of the runners to try and stick with the 3:10 bunny anyway based on my “real” goals of 3:05-3:07, instead o sticking with my plan for a big negative split

Catching up to the too-fast bunny, but then falling off due to a slight groin tweak. My pace between 21-and 25k significantly slowed due to babying/trying to figure out if this tweak was gonna get worse. I think those kms made the difference between actually injuring myself on the worst-case-scenario side, and squeaking under 3:07 on the best-case-scenario side

Feeling like the little bumps and rises were a bigger deal and more annoying than I anticipated

Manually resetting my watch at every lap marker and counting off the additional seconds in my head when my Garmin inevitably told me I was running further than I did. So, I would begin to approach the 26k marker for example, about 30 metres out my watch would say something dumb like 4:10 pace, and I would eventually realize I was somewhere in the 4:20s.

Rodent Brain

Because of these timing issues, I felt very scattered during the race, trying to remember my approach on the fly, trying to tap back into my relaxed and focus zen state, trying to get competitive, but just spending too much time worrying about TIME.

I was BUMMED I did not have the pace bracelet I was trying to find at the Expo. It would’ve been super handy. I was also bummed about the pace bunny being so crappy. The 3:05 pace bunny dropped out as we were going over the bridge back from Gatineau (I think 24k?). However, thankfully, I think due to my overall relaxed state that weekend and practice racing without paying much attention to my watch this season, I did not panic or start to think negatively which I am very proud of. Regardless, I was definitely not in a flow state or as competitive with the group around me due to my timing uncertainty. I think if I were feeling more bold (e.g., not concerned about my groin, not worried it could get really hot at the end), I would have still been very confident and more competitive with the groups around me.

The Pain Train Commeth

At about 28k the quads got heavy… a little later than my first marathon, Hamilton, where they hurt at 25k. I am mystified by this, looking back, because it did not happen at all that I remember at around the bay, which was 30k, hillier, colder, and a faster pace.

30ish k: I ran through this marker under 2:14, and confident I would achieve my sub 3:10 goal. At this point, I did start to get more competitive. I kept passing the same triathletes, who would later pass me. One woman in my age group ran near me for most of the race, but I think I passed her somewhere before 30k. Two women running together, one with a hydration pack, passed me at one point. The stronger looking of the two broke away somewhere around 33k, and I didn’t see her again. I passed the girl with the hydration pack happily at one point, she surged later, and I made it a hazy goal to catch her somewhere around 35-37, which I did. But she surged around 39 (which is amazing… ultra runner?), spoke some words of encouragement, and I didn’t see her again.

At 37k, we came back to the crowded area. At one point, a cheer group said, and now lets all cheer for Emily and about 15-20 people said GO EMILY, GO EMILY, and that was amazing. Put a huge grin on my face.

From 36 or so onward, my form collapsed HORRIBLY in these stages as the race photos attest. I don’t know if I was thinking about it at all. I was just trying to catch people as I was mostly running alone and run even paces and try and dig into my leg strengths, as I started to breathe heavy.

At 39k I saw a man down…. Totally passed out unconscious. Eyes open. Terrifying. A crowd around him was calling for medics. This is the sad truth about competing and the wall: to finish, I had to put it out of my mind and trust others watching and volunteering to help him. As soon as I crossed the line, I mentioned it to a medic.

Those last 3k were very tough, but in a familiar way this time. I don’t remember too much, except being very annoyed that by the 39k marker I still had a tight turn to execute and no clear line of sight to the finish. The legs got heavy and I chipped away. I continued to pass many people (mostly those who had significantly fallen of pace, some of whom I suspect were overheating or hitting the wall), but was also passed by some.

Amazingly in these last few k I was CONTINUING to do simple math. I kept trying to figure out what time I would finish in if I were to run 5 min kms.

Sweet Relief

An amazing highlight was actually seeing my dad and smiling at him with about 200 metres to go. My mom captured some great photos of this. It was me against the clock… I squeezed just under 3:08 gun time, 3:07:36 chip time.

Afterwards… I felt relieved it was over… I felt proud of the race… I didn’t feel completely incapacitated as in my first marathon. I congratulated those around me, and received congratulations in turn.

Reflections

I explained to Jeff and my parents that the 3:10 pace bunny was well off and that I did indeed reach my goal. And I also wasn’t as immediately sore and stiff (in fact I spent a considerable amount of time walking later that day). I was healthy.

Sadly, I also did not feel a ton of joy or elation. I was very “zen”, I suppose, or displaying equanimity, which has been my goal this season. But I was also confused. I had no distinct impressions from the race, positive or negative immediately afterward, and I was not sure why until I started to write and reflect on the race a couple of days later. My tune up race had been much more enjoyable, with decisive moments where I became competitive or overcame and “got into a groove” and proceeded to “kill it.”

Perhaps I never got there due to the wildly uneven pacing in the first half of the race. Perhaps what I mentioned to some family and friends was true… my head wasn’t into it in the way I needed it to be, so it took a lot more out of me mentally just to get the basics done (fuel, figure out pace, position, tune into body, etc.). Either way, I can sum my feelings about the race as this: content, but still hungry. Execution left much to be desired.

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