#WBHP 2023

[whiskey-bumblebee]

trick or treat aaron hotchner pls 🙏

treat! 🍬

A/N: gender neutral reader (Aaron slips up at one point but we correct him), Halloween-decoration-typical horror (just in case). Also the writing in this is super lazy because I am what? Lazy <3 Hope you enjoy! And keep the requests coming!

Aaron loves that you love Halloween, but he can't stand the decorations. He's seen a lot of things in his life, and Spirit Halloween reminds him of the worst of them: dismembered limbs, blood, scary masks, references to weapons and poison, death all around. To him, it's a blessing that you have the stomach for the plastic version. It means he's doing his job, as an agent and a boyfriend. He's not bringing it home. He's keeping you safe from the horrors of the world.

So he gives you a list of boundaries, lovingly handwritten in his neatest print:

please no: -weapons -gore/blood -body parts/bones/tombstones -jumping things -masks -murder/crime scene paraphernalia

You take the list in hand and give him a look. "Honey, I respect this, but are there things you do want? That might be easier."

He considers it for a second. "Bats. Pumpkins. Spiders. Witches. Cats. Vampires. Frankenstein. Cute ghosts."

You smile and give him a kiss because you can't help it. "Cute ghosts."

"You know. Sheet ghosts."

"So you can watch scary movies but you can't have scary decorations?" You're only teasing, and he knows that, but he still pouts a little.

"Michael Myers on the television is different to Michael Myers in the living room."

You nod. "Okay, honey. I'll see what we can do."

So you head to the halloween store and do a little bit of damage with your credit card, and head home to set up. You don't get many trick or treaters, since you live in a small neighborhood, but it's just as fun to decorate for yourself, right?

You decide to go with plenty of fuzzy spiders, a jack o lantern for the porch, and a sheet ghost for the lawn.

Aaron gets home, and you're careful to meet him out in the driveway so you can check for his approval.

"Cute ghost," You point out, after giving him a quick kiss. He nods.

There are some comically large spiders climbing up the outside of the house, and he laughs.

"Sure."

Then the two pumpkins on the porch.

"I thought we'd carve them together another time."

He nods again. You know the lack of reaction is just his way of assessing a situation wholly before he makes an overall judgement.

You walk him through the door, where you've kept things much more minimal. Your home is your shared sanctuary after all, and the last thing you need is to give him a heart attack in the middle of the night.

The front door reads "Haus Frankenstein", with the silhouette of a castle underneath. In the kitchen, you've suspended a sign reading "it's electrifying!" with a picture of Frankenstein's monster in the lightning trap.

"I know this is kind of verging into corpse territory, but I thought it was cute, if you don't like it-"

Aaron shakes his head quickly. "No, it's cute. Thank you."

The guest bathroom has sticky green gels over the tile.

"Ectoplasm," You smile, and Hotch falls even more in love with you.

"Everything is temporary, it's peel and stick. If you don't like anything, I kept the receipts, so we can return it-"

"Everything is perfect, honey. Is that it?"

You nod. "That's it."

His face falls a little, although he's quick to shield it.

"What?" You ask quickly. "Do you want something else?"

"I was hoping you'd pick the costumes, I'm no good with that s-"

You beam. "I did. They're in the bedroom."

Aaron smiles at that. "You think of everything. I love you."

You lead him to the bedroom, and you're delighted to walk him through the costumes, a mixture of thrifted items, costume pieces, makeup, and a wig for you.

"Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein?"

"Partner of Frankenstein," You correct him. "I thought since I kind of themed the house as the Haus Frankenstein, we could be the Frankensteins. And I was talking to my friend about it and we thought you looked kind of like Boris Karloff."

Aaron raises an eyebrow.

"In a good way!" You interject. "I think he's sexy."

He grins and pulls you in by the waist. "Good."

[whiskey-bumblebee]

trick for hotch pls!

"It's Halloweeeeeeeeen!" Penelope grins.

Derek just grins and squeezes her shoulder. "How many Long Island ice teas have you had, sweetcheeks?"

Penelope holds up one hand, staring at her fingers, waiting for them to mimic the number she's seeing in her head.

JJ and Emily are already out on the dancefloor, and Spencer had stayed home, so it was just you, Derek, Penelope, and a somewhat out-of-it looking Aaron.

"I should get her home," Derek says.

Penelope starts protesting, but just as she does, Snoop Dogg's 'Drop It Like It's Hot' starts playing, and your arm shoots out to smack Derek in the chest.

"Dance with me? I love this song."

Derek huffs a laugh. "Dance with your man. We gotta get going."

To prove your point, you raise your eyebrows at Derek before looking over at Hotch.

"No," He says firmly.

You look back over at Derek. He sighs. "One song. But Hotch, c'mon man, what's the point in coming to the bar if you're gonna sit there and look miserable?"

Hotch's scowl just deepens.

"Nice costume, by the way."

Aaron adjusts his cat ears self-consciously. It had taken all of your persuasive powers to get him into even those- and since they were dark and the bar was poorly lit, they were barely visible. Aaron took them off nonetheless.

As the bridge starts, you grab Derek's hand, and glance over at Pen.

"We'll be right back, Penny," You grin.

Derek starts swaying from side to side as you lead him to the dance floor. Your face immediately brightens now that you're in happier company.

"What's gotten into Hotch?" Derek shouts over the music.

You shrug. "He didn't want to come out."

Derek laughs. "He's moping because he thought he was gonna get some and he isn't?"

You shrug again. "I don't know. He knows he'll get it later, so who knows."

JJ and Emily join you, and the four of you form the world's smallest dance circle. Emily and JJ whoop as you sway your shoulders, and more importantly, drop it like it's hot. Derek laughs and claps, and you can't help but grin.

"Snooooop!" You laugh. Derek mouths along to the words, and you push him into the dance circle, switching with him. He mouths the words for a line or two, then drops to the floor and starts to do the worm. You, JJ, and Emily all shout in delight, which draws the attention of some pretty women who eye Derek, impressed.

He stands up and dusts himself off, and shakes his head when a sea of phones are extended his way. He wraps his arm around your shoulders as the women disperse, and presses a kiss to the side of your head.

"Have a good night. I'm gonna take my baby home," Derek explains to JJ and Emily. They both nod and give him a quick hug.

"Maybe Hotch will join us once they leave," JJ shouts.

Emily nods.

But as you watch Derek help Penelope out of the booth, and send her a quick wave as they go, Aaron stays squarely in place.

"What's up his ass?" Emily frowns.

You shrug. "Let's just enjoy a few more songs and then I'll take him home."

//////////////////////////////////

Hotch shifts uneasily in the driver's seat.

"We shouldn't do that again," He says sternly.

You eye him playfully.

"So you don't want to do anything when we get home?"

"That's not what I said," He manages a small smile. "I just don't think I'm into wearing a butt plug in front of my subordinates."

You can't help but laugh a little at his delivery, his clipped explanation.

//////////////////////////////

Sure enough, a few minutes later, you're hitting Hotch's prostate and he's whining beneath you, pressing his hips against your hand.

"So pretty," You croon. "In a better mood now?"

"Shut up," He whines.

You wrap your hand around his cock and stroke it slowly. "What was that?"

"I love you," He breathes.

"I thought so," You smile, pressing a warm kiss to his lips. He smiles into the kiss too, working his lips against yours.

And Emily might never know exactly what was up Hotch's ass that night, but she sends you a short email the next morning:

Whatever you did last night, it worked. Just asked Hotch when we need to have these reports in and he said "whenever they're finished." You're doing god's work! We love you <3 :)