#WE HAVE OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED THEIR COSTUMES MATCH NOW GUYS SOB SOB SOB

[toadsbogblog]

oh they make me SICK to my STOMACH....

[rainbowchip2003]

“and you’re ugly, just like your mom”

for @misslivvie !

word count: 1646

november 2nd, 2019

10:25am

*third person*

it was a typical morning in casablanca plaza. all of the staff had gathered in, and were going through their opening routines. in wild side inkorporated, it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. vince is always the last to show up, so it was just the tattoo artists for now. luna was making today’s playlist, while billy scribbled a design on some scrap paper. lennon, a nonbinary newbie, sanitized their station.

“what day is it?” billy asked lennon. 

“saturday.” they confirmed as they checked the clock. billy’s eyes drifted to the side in realization, while luna ran a hand through her multicolored mane.

“oh, shit.” she whispered.

“what?”

“we never told you this, but vince brings his daughter to work on the first saturday of each month!” lennon chuckled at the mental picture of the two hiding from a little kid.

“i’m sure it’s nothing to worry about?” the rookie giggled once more.

“imagine veruca salt but, like, maybe 5% less stable.” just then, vince came in with his daughter, liesl, ready for a new day at the tattoo parlor. liesl had her mom’s auburn waves, and her dad’s smile. she stared at her tablet, ears covered by a pair of lol surprise headphones. liesl even had a small, glittery purse shaped like a unicorn!

“morning!” vince waved before taking off his leather jacket, and helping liesl with her pink coat.

“good morning, vince!” the artists chimed in nearly perfect unison. the ginger never looked up from whatever was on her screen.

“...and liesl.” luna muttered. lennon took the opportunity to introduce themselves; they bent down to her level, and put on their friendliest voice.

“nice to meet you, leisl!” they said with a warm grin.

“...hi.” liesl greeted. unlike most children her age, she seemed unfazed by their punk appearance.

“i don’t think we’ve met; my name is lennon!” lennon put out their hand to shake, which she accepted.

“lemon?” the little girl asked.

“no, lennon, with an “n”.” they laughed it off, it was a common mistake.

“daddy, how much longer until the shops open?” liesl already started her whining kick.

“riiight about…” vince looked at the giant clock on the wall, only seconds away from opening time. “now!” at last, it finally struck 10:30, and casablanca plaza was officially open!! “here’s $20, go crazy.” vince handed her three $5 bills, and five singles. 

liesl let out a cheer as she ran out the door. whether her father was being sarcastic was a mystery; but alas, she took his word as gospel. in vince’s eyes, $20 was nothing; but to any six year old, it was winning the lottery! ironically, there was a patch on vince’s jacket that read “greatest father in the galaxy” under liesl’s birthdate.

she blended in with the first flood of shoppers just fine. liesl only gets to visit casablanca once a month, so she has to make the most of every trip. how does she do so, you ask? nothing much, she just makes people’s day a living hell. no one questions vince on why he lets his young daughter run around unsupervised. 

liesl’s first stop was thunderbolt coffeehouse, where she has her own signature drink. the beverage in question is 6oz of water mixed with the tiniest splash of white chocolate syrup. because it’s basically nothing, liesl only had to pay a dollar. having just opened, tommy was the only person in the store.

“good morning, liesl! the usual?” he adjusted his burgundy visor with a lightning bolt sewed on it.

“you know it!” she left a dollar on the counter to pay. tommy prepared liesl’s first of many mall treats. behind the display case, liesl noticed some brown and orange squares sitting atop a doily. “what are those?”

“pumpkin cheesecake bars.”

“i want one!” she demanded as she tapped the sneeze guard.

“you’re only allowed your special drink.” tommy said softly, yet firmly: “ ‘cause you nearly bought the place out, remember?” he referred to her first visit, where she blew all her money on thunderbolt fare, and didn’t finish most of it.

“can’t you make one exception for your favorite customer?” even liesl’s best puppy eyes weren’t charming enough for him!

“i’m afraid not.” luckily, tommy has more patience for her than anyone else in the mall.

“you’re so inconsiderate!” leisl scoffed as she folded her arms.

“it’s just what your dad told me-” tommy sighed.

“and you’re ugly, just like your mom.”

“sorry to hear that, have a free cheesecake bar.” he forked over the seasonal goodie, knowing mr. simmons would freak if he caught him. but hey, if it’ll get the twerp to zip it! she swallowed one bite of the pumpkin bar, and shoved it into her purse.

on her way to poisonous novelties, she saw that dee, her youth group leader, was here! she went over to his little cart, where he handed out pamphlets promoting the church.

“hi, mr. snider!” she doesn’t often see him anywhere other than the chapel.

“hi, liesl!” although she was the problem child of dee’s youth group, he still treated her with the same amount of respect as anyone else. “excited for service? as a belated halloween treat, we’re watching wishbone in the legend of sleepy hollow!”

“never heard of it.” liesl shrugged.

“i used to watch wishbone as a kid; i think you’ll like it.”

“are you giving out zebra cakes, or oatmeal pies after?” part of the only reason she even bothered going to service was because of the snacks dee would hand out.

“popcorn!” 

“ooh, i can’t wait!” “i’ll see you tomorrow!” dee waved to her, and went back to work. if only dee knew how she treated everyone else....

she went up the escalator, and ran into the candy store so fast, she didn’t notice bobby sitting behind the counter! her main priority was getting as many sweets as she could while staying within her budget.

“did you have a fun halloween?” he attempted to make some friendly small talk.

“yeah, i went as butterbean!” she boasted as she got a paper bag, “my costume had shoes, and wings, and even a wig!”

“that’s so cool!” bobby started to approach the young girl. “i, uh, was barney, the purple dinosaur!” he lied. the poisonous novelties gang actually went as steel panther, with him as lexxi. leisl was barely listening, as she wasted no time shoving random stuff to the bag. “don’t you still have halloween candy?”

“traded most of it.” suddenly, liesl reached into the container of marshmallow bananas, and started picking out the fluffiest ones with her bare hands! 

“can you not-”

“nobody eats these anyway!”

“you didn’t use the tongs, so you have to pay for that entire thing!” he wished he could be as intimidating and strong as bret, but didn’t have the confidence.

“how much?” at this point, liesl found it was best to accept her fate.

“$15.”

“can i keep them?” she asked as she handed bobby some wadded up dollars. his lips widened into an almost taunting smile, and just shook his head no.

liesl made her way to the foodcourt; she had just enough money for a basket of cheese fries. she topped the greasy goodness with ketchup, regular and lite mayo, and barbeque sauce. she walked to kiss kosmetics, on the other side of the mall, as she ate. liesl stood outside the door to find vinnie texting, while paul helped a customer match their foundation.

“you need to finish that before you go inside!” vinnie exclaimed, setting down his phone. the basket wobbled in her hand as she carried it with only four fingers. 

“i’ll be careful, i promise!” as predicted, liesl tripped over nothing and fell face first. she dropped the unholy sauce with a side of fries onto the once pristine white tiles. liesl rolled onto her back on the floor, and whined like she was half her age.

“if you think you’re getting out of here scottfree, you are sorely mistaken!” although paul didn’t have kids, he went full dad mode!

“i do what i want!!” liesl stamped her feet in exasperation. she made such a scene that someone started to leave!

“i’m calling your dad!” paul had both parents on speed dial, just in case. saturday used to be his favorite day of the week, but thanks to her, it’s thursday!

“get to cleaning.” vinnie rested some napkins and a spray bottle of tile cleaner on her stomach.

liesl dragged herself up and hastily began to pick up her mess.

“yeah, vince? this is paul; you’ll never believe what your daughter did today!” the tantruming redhead slammed the bottle on the floor. “we keep telling her not to come in with food, and she did anyway! she dropped whatever she was eating, and now she’s refusing to clean up.”

“i’m getting grounded for falling?” liesl threw her head back.

“you don’t think i know about what happened at the candy store?”

“what’d she do?” vince asked on the other line.

“i got a text from bobby saying that she took out all the marshmallow bananas with her hands. your wife needs to pick her up before she causes any more chaos.” 

“put her on.” paul came out, and brought the phone to her ear. “liesl, what did i tell you about manners?!” 

“there weren’t any signs…”

“you don’t need signs, you need common sense!” paul rolled his eyes.

“you march to the parlor, get your jacket, and you’re getting in mom’s car without a fight, do you hear me?!” 

“yes, daddy…” she sniffled. “bye, guys.” leisl hung her head as she left the store pathetically sobbing.

“good riddance!” paul sighed in relief, more than proud of himself for successfully setting the little brat straight.

[davidmann95]

So it's official, there's nothing left between now and Crisis on Infinite Earths. Any last thoughts before it starts?

A list of wishes, classified by likelihood:

Here’s hoping!

* Brandon Routh and Kevin Conroy get a scene together and are preferably addressed as the World’s Finest, since they’re almost certainly from the same Earth and the clear idea there is positioning the Donnerverse Superman and DCAU Batman as literal peers to match the power of their iconography.

* Earths 1 and 38 merge but the multiverse remains (perhaps reorganized; no reason for Jay Garrick for instance not to be on Earth-2 now that the original trick of switching 2 and 3 no longer serves a purpose).

* The odd contradictory stuff with the Monitor that we’ve seen is revealed to be a product of him and the Anti-Monitor actually being two aspects of the same being.

* Some sort of note of the major Batwoman timeskip given I think everything in that series so far takes place pre-Elseworlds.

* Danny Trejo, a multiversal cop who was already recently brought back, sticks his head in during the final battle to be Danny Trejo in Crisis on Infinite Earths stabbing and shooting the death of all things.

* Lynda Carter shows up even if she likely can’t be acknowledged directly as Wonder Woman. Probably also on the Kingdom Come Earth?

* That guy who we all know is John Stewart becomes a Green Lantern, and he throws up the first time he flies as the culmination of that running gag.

* A solid first onscreen confrontation between Hoechlin’s Superman and Cryer’s Luthor (and for that matter Luthor with Tulloch’s Lois).

* Other DCAU voice actors who have played assorted roles in these shows briefly appear as live-action versions of their animated counterparts, or at least Mark Hamill (at minimum a recording or echoey memory of him laughing on the Kingdom Come Earth, for the love of god).

* Since I hear Black Lightning is set on a relatively realistic Earth without other superheroes, play a lot with him being caught up in all this nonsense with characters who he’d known as fictional.

* Speaking of which, the episode of Black Lightning that I just saw apparently ties in is accessible, since I’ll want to check that out. I hear that show’s really good!

* There’s some sort of at least minor bit of the Supermen comparing costumes, laying the groundwork for improvement on the side of the ‘prime’ guy.

Wouldn’t count on it, but it’s not impossible either!

* Conroy as Batman also meets Welling and Hoechlin, as Welling getting to meet a Batman would be the fulfillment of a longtime dashed dream, and Hoechlin as the best Superman should get to meet the best Batman.

* Some sort of resolution to the occasional light hints that there’s an important reason there isn’t a Superman or Supergirl on Earth-1.

* There’s specification or at least room for interpretation that Lois didn’t necessarily die on Earth Kingdom Come, it seems likely but I’d prefer it didn’t hew quite to that aspect of the source material.

* John Shea’s Lex Luthor shows up, that dude ruled.

* Green Arrow’s “The entire universe needs you” line to Superman isn’t (just) a reinforcement that he’s got an important job he’d better not fuck up or a bolster at a low moment, but a pep talk and/or acknowledgement that he as Superman (and a lead of an upcoming series) is the guy they need at the front on this.

* Since they’re paired in the poster, Superman and Constantine are forced to work together and absolutely hate each other.

* Routh either survives to occasionally guest star as the equivalent of the old Earth-2 Superman on Superman and Lois - maybe he just could be on Earth-2 in a reordered multiverse alongside Conroy, Carter, and Shipp’s Garrick - or plays a suitably major role in saving the multiverse with his heroic sacrifice.

* Lucifer from that show is in this after all and is very pointedly confirmed to have fucked John Constantine.

* Conroy growls “I was Batman”.

* Speaking of Batman Beyond, have Will Friedle make a cameo as Terry, if only in voiceover on a comm link.

* I don’t know the exact limitations of how Batman can appear in the non-Fox TV shows; clearly it’s somewhat porous. Would Conroy in the Kingdom Come Bat-armor be permissible?

* The gathering of heroes here is directly referred to as the Justice League.

* Smallville Clark mentions having dealt with Monitors before in passing acknowledgement of Smallville Season 11, which the writers mentioned they know of and at least won’t actively contradict.

* Welling wears a damn super-suit.

* Everything about the Legion of Superheroes is completely changed; all their history is revised and all actors are recast. I actually have no idea whether this would be a good or bad thing, but tradition’s tradition.

* A subtle shot at Dean Cain given why he’s not showing up.

Sigh. A boy can dream.

* Welling sees Routh and - since it’s technically supposed to be Christopher Reeve - exclaims “Doctor Swan?!”

* The Monitor displays ‘viewscreens’ of other universes, and someone leaps back in shock when George Reeves’ Clark Kent looks directly at said screen and winks.

* Uncle Sam is in this and tells everyone to stop for a second so he can give a speech about how saving the multiverse from the Anti-Monitor is really...about freedom, and Cryer’s Luthor exclaims ‘I hate his guts, but by god he’s right!’ Otherwise this will never be a spiritually true adaptation.

* Ezra Miller puts his money where his mouth is and makes a little cameo.

* The Monitor appears before Barry Allen as he’s about to sacrifice himself and confirms that the actual reason he’s lured him into this is as rightful punishment for his disrespectful Superman impression, and as he’s agonizingly torn apart atom by atom Flash’s final screamed utterance is “I objectively deserve this!”

* Justin Hartley shows up but as Aquaman.

* Oliver Queen survives in spite of cosmic odds to the contrary through naught but his wits and his will, and nothing seems to be standing in the way of him resuming his life and career after all. Except remember when he hilariously puffed out his chest in naked insecurity upon meeting Superman? That, except he meets Conroy’s Batman, and he just starts sobbing and runs away, never to be seen again, and that’s how Arrow for-real ends.

* Burt Ward puts on DKR Bat-armor to join the final battle and kicks an utterly stupendous amount of ass.

* Now that Roy Harper’s doing a Rise of Arsenal, (which is how I learned I am a maniac, given my what I can only describe as childlike glee when I realized what was about to happen in the last episode of Arrow) he injects a shitload of whatever that super strength drug is that gives him Bloodlust™ and goes ham on the Anti-Monitor with a dead cat.

* An unsubtle shot at Dean Cain given why he’s not showing up.

* I can get the damn Walmart tie-in comics. Most of the time the place near me is reliable with those, but they still haven’t gotten the last issue of King/Kubert Superman and I’ll probably just have to give in and get Superman: Up In The Sky #6 to get the final chapter Saturday or Sunday. I’m assuming my luck will hold steady with this.