citrmi-blog

[inspiringwhilerespiring]

Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :) 

Sooo here yall go <3 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

8)

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

FB

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

Ya

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

Ya

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

[feelsgood-anon]

Eros - Bar AU Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: THIS PIECE IS A MYSTIC MESSENGER AU.  IT IS HEAVILY INSPIRED BY THE AMERICAN SITCOM CHEERS, A SHOW CENTERED AROUND A BOSTON BAR CALLED CHEERS AND IT’S REGULARS.  EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TRIED TO KEEP AS MUCH OF CANON PERSONALITIES WITH ALL THE MYSTIC MESSENGER CHARACTERS JUST REMEMBER THAT IT IS AN AU AND A FEW THINGS MAY BE DIFFERENT THAN IN GAME OR YOUR HEADCANONS. THIS HAS BEEN FUN TO PLAN AND I HOPE YOU FIND A BIT OF JOY READING IT!  

PG13+ FOR SWEARIN’ AND BOOZIN’.

CH.1 PT.1 | CH. 1 PT. 2 | CH. 2 | CH. 3 | CH. 4 | CH. 5 |  CH. 6|CH. 7 | CH. 8 | CH. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | 

“Three beers and a Vodka tonic, order up!” Red called out as he placed the drinks on a tray, followed by Cannon sweeping by to pick it up.

Business had been steady still and with Zen back in cheerful moods things were running as smooth as ever. Since he had gotten back with Scarlet his entire presence had changed for the better. Even the slightest of jokes towards him was laughed off and he no longer got irrationally angry. He felt as if nothing could spoil his good fortune.

Everyone around him, though, felt a bit uneasy. They were used to him being in good spirits but when he didn’t bat an eye at Cannon’s prodding things got suspicious.

In the middle of the afternoon rush Sunny motioned Red over when Zen wandered off to speak with some regulars at a table, “Say, Red. Don’t get me wrong, I like that Zen has been more likeable these past few weeks but it doesn’t sit well with me. Everything is fixed because he’s dating his ex again? He seems like he doesn’t properly deal with his emotions and needs more than just a girlfriend to solve his problems.”

Red sighed as he threw a towel over his shoulder, throwing a few cups into the sink to clean, “Just be glad he’s been in a good mood. Don’t over think things, Sunny. You know what’s happened when you’ve tried to intervene.”

“I’m not being nosey!” She huffed, “I’m just concerned is all! I don’t trust what’s happening and I would hate to see anything bad happen to him.”

“Hey Sunny!” Zen came up to them, causing her to jump, “Could I talk to you for a minute?”

“S-sure!” She straightened up and gave him a nervous smile hoping he hadn’t heard their conversation, “What’s up?”

He put his arm around her shoulder, “I’ve been thinking a lot and I want to apologize for everything I’ve said and done to you. I realized that you really wanted to help me and I overreacted. I appreciate you looking out for me and I’d like to be friends like you suggested.”

She blushed a bit, stumbling over her words, “O-of course! I’d like that! I promise to be more mindful of how things will affect you. I really never meant to hurt your feelings.”

Zen chuckled a bit as he ruffled her hair, “Well, how about I just don’t take things to heart? I highly doubt you would be able to hold your tongue on certain subjects but I think that’s part of your charm!”

Sunny pursed her lips and slid out from under his arm, “I’ll take that as a compliment lest I get angry.”

“How about you go check on your tables lest I get angry over having to refill their drinks?” Cannon growled as he walked by, “Stop flirting with Zen, he’s taken.”

“I’m not flirting!” She exclaimed as she felt her face get hot, “I’m just glad that he wants to be friends! That’s all I ever wanted!”

Zen smiled softly and motioned her off, “It’s okay, princess. You know he is just trying to mess with you. Go on and check on your tables for me, would yah?”

She glared at Cannon for a moment before sticking her nose in the air and walking off to the patrons. Red sauntered over and leaned against the counter, “Good on you, Zen. Sunny doesn’t really mean any harm. I know she is just worried about you. Huh, looks like she’s attached herself to your side.”

“I always got the vibe that she was into me. Perhaps if I weren’t taken we could be a cute couple but alas.” he poured a shot of whiskey and tipped it towards Red, “I have the woman of my dreams by my side already.”

Red frowned and grabbed Zen’s wrist, “Hey, what are you doing?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah...Hey! It’s just one, right? We all know my tolerance is so high this won’t even affect me!”

“I’m pretty sure you told us you promised her not to drink. Unless you filled that bottle with dirty water, you are breaking the rules.”

Zen chewed on the inside of his cheek in slight embarrassment, “Cut me some slack, man.  I just have a shot or two throughout the day to keep the headaches at bay. I cut out anything more than that!”

Red let go of him slowly. He took a step back to stare at him in concern. “Dude, you can’t go a day without having a drink? I didn’t know it was that bad. Maybe you should see a doctor before you try to wean yourself off, you know how dangerous it can be.”

“Hey now! It’s not like that. It’s just the same as people that drink a lot of coffee. One morning without it and you feel miserable!”

“Yeah, except caffeine withdrawals can’t kill you.”

Zen clicked his tongue and took the shot, letting out a sigh of relief as the familiar taste and feeling filled his body, “Just one, Red. Don’t tell the miss, eh?”

Red frowned and nodded, “Sure thing, Boss. But if anything bad happens or your withdrawal gets too bad-”

“You can take me straight to the hospital, okay? You worry too much, my drinking was never that big of a problem.” He set the shot glass far away and motioned as if he accomplished some great feat, “Now, more orders?”

Jingle~!

“Clicks!”

“Hey everyone!”

He walked over towards his normal seat, waving to Zen as he came to greet him, “Whiskey on the rocks, please. You seem to be doing well! How’s it been with Scarlet?”

“Fantastic!” Zen proclaimed as he filled a glass to hand over to Clicks, “We still have a lot to catch up on and things to work through but she’s with me and that’s the most important part.”

“How’s life without drinking? It’s been a few weeks so you must feel healthier.”

“Oh, yeah! I feel great! But what makes things better is that she stayed. I’m on top of the world!” Zen refilled a few beer mugs from around the bar before returning to Click’s side, “Is Sugar not back from his business trip yet? I kind of miss that guy.”

Clicks choked a bit on his drink with Zen’s words, “Did you just say you missed him? That’s a first. Being sober really has done things to you.”

The white-haired male rubbed the back of his neck, “Aye...it’s not that. I was pretty mad at him for bringing her here but I guess I owe him now. He’s the reason why I have my girlfriend back! I guess I should back off from him for a while.”

“I am impressed!” Sunny said as she came back to the bar top, “You’re even acknowledging Sugar’s good deeds! You know, I was a bit worried that things got too good too quickly but if you are going to play nice with him I guess I can’t complain.” In her emotional excitement she gave him a big hug, scrunching her nose as she caught an unexpected scent, “You smell like alcohol.”

Zen jumped back a bit to create some distance, “Of course I do! I’ve been pouring drinks all afternoon. A bit of splash is bound to happen!”

She squinted her eyes at him, “That better be the reason!” She pointed her index and middle finger at her eyes, then pointed to him, and back to her. Her hand dropped to land on her hip, “Say, what happened with that Didi? She seemed pretty pissed leaving with a broken nose.”

“Ah, you guys didn’t hear? Sugar is dragging her through some legal business for harassment. Apparently she forgot that he had a restraining order that also included any of his businesses and well...technically this place is under his name.” Clicks smiled a bit, “Last I knew she is shutting down that competing bar to try to convince him to drop charges but I don’t think she knows how things work.”

Zen whirled around to stare at Clicks, “Wait, really? He’s actually going through with it? What if Scarlet gets in trouble for punching her?”

“Seeing as Didi was caught on two video recordings admitting she lied about your accusations, he’s planning on using Scarlet’s potential lawsuit as a bargaining chip. Don’t worry, Zen. He’ll make sure everything turns out fine.”

Sunny let out a sigh of relief, “Wow, Sugar really is such a great guy, huh? He can fix anything!”

Cannon huffed at her showering compliments to Sugar, “He’s just a guy with loads of money who gets his rocks off from watching people squirm under his power. That’s not admirable.”

“Is somebody jealous?” Red teased, “You two aren’t that much different. You like to make other people’s lives a living hell too. You know, just like how you never replace the toilet paper.”

“What? The rolls are right under the sink, you can do it yourself!”

“When duty calls the last thing I think about is digging in the cabinets. I have to drop the kids off at the pool on time!”

“As the lifeguard at the pool, I say you spend too much time there! Flush the damn kids and don’t make me wait an hour to piss!”

“You two are so gross!” Sunny cried as she shook her head. She turned to Zen with curiosity in her eyes, “Why do you call her Didi anyway?”

Zen blushed furiously as he began to stutter, “O-oh, W-well you see…”

Cannon elbowed Sunny before he motioned towards his chest, “It’s because she’s got-”

“Double the pleasure, double the fun!” Red interjected.

She looked between them all with a disgusted look on her face, “It’s because of her breast size?! How barbaric! Ugh, I can’t believe I work with a group of Neanderthals!”

Red snickered, “Hey, don’t blame us. She’s the one that boasted about it first. ‘Blah blah, these are natural’.”

Cannon howled in laughter, “Yeah! Like we’d believe that!”

Sunny scoffed and grabbed her tray, “Idiots, all of you! I’m checking on my tables.” Cannon swiped his notepad and followed her, continuing to heckle as they walked.

Zen let out a hefty sigh as they both walked off. Quirking his head as he felt a light thud on his arm his attention went to Clicks, presumably the culprit of launching the wad of napkins towards him, “Hmm?”

“Just a bit of splash, yes? You weren’t lying to her?”

“Why would I lie to her, Clicks?” Zen bent over to pick up the trash, shooting it into the trashcan like it were a basketball. “Yes!” He congratulated himself before holding his hand up to Clicks for a high-five. When he wasn’t met with another hand he turned his head to look at the scowling man, “Don’t leave me hanging, man!”

“You drank today.”

“What? I just told you I didn’t! What is with everyone today?” Zen started untying his apron from around his waist, “Red, I’m taking my break. I’m going to call my girlfriend.”

Red nodded as he wiped some glasses down, watching him walk to the office from the corner of his eye. The moment the door closed he rushed over to Clicks, “Hey, you knew him during his situation before. How bad was he back then?”

“How bad was it? For a few weeks, if he wasn’t sleeping he was drunk. Sugar had to tackle him down at one point to make sure he wouldn’t drive his motorcycle home after a night of binging at a bar. Zen is a wonderful person but he feels emotions so greatly and sometimes doesn’t know how to deal with them. I know he told me once that when he was drunk he didn’t feel anything. But even before that he would drink a lot of beer just because. It eased his stress from working so much.”

“Do you think he’d drink even if he didn’t have stress?”

Clicks ran his finger along the edge of the glass as he found the words to answer the question. “He would always have a few casual drinks here and there. His fridge is filled with beer normally,” He replied slowly, “He was good about controlling himself in the past but when he started getting more roles and the pressure hit, he spiraled. Why do you ask?”

Red looked around and leaned in to speak in a low tone, “He took a shot earlier, said that he got headaches if he didn’t drink. That’s not good, Clicks.”

Clicks closed his eyes and raised his hands to rub at his temples in small circular motions, “Shit, it’s worse than we thought. I honestly didn’t know that it was having a physical effect on him or else I would have been more stern.”

“It’s not your fault, Clicks. He’s pretty good at hiding things.”

Clicks looked down at his vibrating phone and groaned as he saw the name of the person who texted him, “Damnit, I need to go for a bit. My girlfriend is upset about something and I need to go calm her down. Keep an eye on him for me, will you? I’ll talk to him when I get back.”

As Red started waving him off but Sunny ran up and called out to Clicks, “Wait up, I’ll leave with you!” She ripped her apron off and threw it at Red, “Zen let me take a few hours off tonight so I could go talk to one of my professors. I’ll be back to help close!”

“Aye, that was tonight? we’ll hold down the fort. You two be careful!”

As the two left Zen emerged from the office, whistling a merry tune to himself. Stepping back behind the bar he looked around, “Did Clicks leave?”

Red nodded, “Yeah, he has some sort of emergency with his girlfriend to take care of.”

“Oh? An emergency with that woman means he probably loaded the dishwasher wrong and she blew up about it.”

Red shrugged, “Probably. Oh, Sunny headed off too. She had that thing at school.”

“Right, right.” Zen mused to himself, “That’s fine, it hasn’t been too crazy in here. I think we can handle it until she gets back.” He looked up when a familiar group of girls that greeted him in chorus entered the bar. He smiled brightly and waved, “Hello ladies! It’s been awhile, where have you been hiding?”

“Oh you know, life and stuff.” A brunette approached the bar and unashamed leaned forward to expose her cleavage, “But we’ve all missed you, Zenny~! How about you show us a good time tonight?”

He watched as the others found seats around the bar top, “Well ladies, I can definitely serve you drinks but anything else is out of the question, I’m afraid. I’m officially off the market.”

The women all groaned in disappointment, chattering at him with a myriad of questions. He stepped back a bit with a laugh, “Now now, you are all still my princesses so let me get you a round of drinks on the house!”

“Take a shot with us, Zenny!” One of the girls pleaded, “We haven’t been here in so long!”

He let in a sharp inhale before shaking his head, “Sorry ladies, I can’t. But I can serve you up some!”

As he started up the round of shots the brunette reached over and touched his arm lightly, “Oh come on, Zenny! I’m leaving for a few months for a new job and I won’t see you for a while! You won’t even have one on my behalf?”

He bit his bottom lip and looked around, noticing that Red had went to deliver some drinks to a table, “Okay, just one! Because I like you girls.” The girls cheered and took the shots, holding them up in a toast. Zen cleared his throat and held his up, “To the beautiful ladies that I will always welcome into my bar!” They all took it and giggled between each other, asking for another round.

He served them, but the brunette frowned towards him, “No toast to my new job?” Zen gasped and poured himself another shot, “Hold on, that deserves a proper toast!” He held it up to the group, “To your new job and new adventures!”

The evening continued and slowly his inhibitions lowered as he continued to take shots with the girls who had stolen all of his attention. It became busy and Red hadn’t noticed Zen sneaking shots constantly since he was still quick to fill orders. During a moment of slowed movement Red finally took a breather to look at Zen. His eyes widened at the sight: Zen’s shirt was completely unbuttoned, a filled shot glass in each hand, the brunette sitting on the counter cheering him on.

“What the hell?” Red rushed over and pulled him away, “What are you doing?! I can overlook one shot but…” He looked his boss over, noticing him swaying a bit, “Are you drunk?”

Zen rolled his eyes, “Nah, man. I’m fine! We are celebrating her last few days in the city! Don’t kill my buzz.”

“I won’t be the one killing you, you know.” He tried to pull the shot glasses out of his hands but Zen pushed him away and took them both in quick succession, “You’re too slow~!”

Red grabbed at his arm desperately, “Zen, just stop drinking now and I’ll forget anything happened. You can’t get out of hand like this!”

Zen pulled himself away and glared at his employee, “I am completely in control! I’m just having a bit of fun with these lovely ladies and you’re just jealous that they aren’t giving you attention!”

Red backed away as his boss turned back around to serve up another round of shots. “Zen…” He said softly, “I’m sorry…” He grabbed his phone to send a text to Clicks, “I can’t let this go on any further.”

Fifteen minutes later Clicks came back to the bar followed by a visibly upset Scarlet. Zen turned to shout a greeting towards the jingle above the door but his expression fell as he saw her, “Jagi! I, uh, thought you had work tonight?”

She made her way towards the group, staring him down as she did everything to hold her composure, “I need to talk to you.”

“Hey, he’s partying with us tonight, get in line!” the brunette sitting on the counter said, crossing her arms. Scarlet switched her gaze towards the girl, “I’m his girlfriend. I suggest you move.”

“But he-”

“Beat it!” Scarlet bellowed causing all of them to immediately scatter. Zen had turned around to try to gather himself, wiping his face down with a towel before struggling to button up his shirt, “How was your day, sweetie?”

She leaned forward and motioned him closer, “Come here.”

His breath hitched in his throat as he stayed frozen in his place, “Scarlet, let’s talk in my office, okay?” She blinked at him and quickly moved to go behind the bar, pressing up against him. Taking a deep breath through her nose she glared, “You’ve been drinking.”

He shook his head, “N-no! It’s been really busy tonight and I’ve served a lot of alcohol-” “I can smell it on your breath. You’re lying to me.” She backed away slowly, “You’re lying. But why? Zen, you promised!”

“Jagi, I-”

“No.” She interrupted him once more, “Don’t you dare call me that. You don’t deserve to call me that! You told me you would stop drinking and you are doing it behind my back!”

Zen held his arms out in incredulously, “I was just entertaining my customers! What’s the big deal? Sure I had a few drinks, who cares! It doesn’t matter what I do for work!”

“It matters to me.” She replied softly, “It matters because you promised me not to do it. Do my feelings not matter to you?”

He clenched his fists and looked her straight in the eye, “Did you think of my feelings when you left me alone two years ago?” He stood up straight to try to tower over her, “I needed you more than anything and you dumped me! My life was falling apart and you were having the time of your life overseas! I think me having a few damn drinks in my own bar shouldn’t be a problem!”

Clicks rushed over as he heard Zen raise his voice, standing between them, “Guys, lets be rational. We can discuss this in the office.”

Scarlet took in a deep inhale and let it expel slowly, ignoring the man that had stood in front of her, “You ignored me for two years, Zen. Two years!” Even though her voice elevated in volume it was biting with emotional distress, “I never got to be mad! You retreated into your own self-pity when you had no reason for it! You called me a worthless girlfriend and that I didn’t care about you since I wouldn’t drop everything to come running! I told you to wait for the weekend so I could get a plane ticket and you called me a piece of shit!”

Zen immediately calmed as every nerve he had left his body. Coming to his senses he couldn’t believe he would speak to her in the manner that he had just moments ago. Of course she was right. The evening he was fired from his role and his manager dropped him he had indeed called her as he hit an all time low, more drunk than he ever had been. The horrible things he said to her haunted his dreams ever since and for her to bring it back up cause that ache in his heart that kept him up so many nights.

He slowly held his arm out around Clicks to try to reach her, “Scarlet…”

“No!” She backed away further as the tears she had been holding back finally fell down her cheeks, “I gave you a second chance and you couldn’t even keep your promise to me. I didn’t even matter enough to you to stay away from alcohol. It’s obvious what you care about more.”

Zen shook his head and tried to get closer to her, “No, Scarlet, please!”

She walked from behind the bar and looked away, “I can’t be with you if I can’t trust you. You say you love me but I just can’t believe that anymore. I’m sorry that I’m doing this to you again, Zen. We’re over. Don’t come looking for me. I thought I was enough to help you through this but apparently I’ve just made things worse.”

He pushed against Clicks to get around him but the man stood his ground. Being under the influence it was hard for Zen to exert his full strength to fight, “Don’t leave me, Jagi. I need you!”

“I don’t think you know what you need anymore, Zen.” She made her way to the door, looking back at him with remorse in her eyes, “You need to find your way on your own and not depend on me anymore. Take care of yourself, sweetie.”

Zen let up and dejectedly leaned against the counter as he watched her walk out. Clicks reached to place his hand on his friend’s shoulder, “Zen, I’m sorry.”  The bartender shook the hand off, “I just want to be left alone.” He grabbed a bottle of vodka and headed for his office.

“Zen, talk to me!” Clicks called out as he went to follow him.

“No. Leave me alone.” He slammed the door to the room, the sound of the lock clicking loudly.

Red came up and sighed, “We did the right thing, bud. He may be hurt now but it wouldn’t have been fair to her if he continued to do it behind her back. We need to fix this, though, before it gets any worse.”

Clicks pulled out his phone and hesitantly scrolled through his contacts, “I know, Red. I’ll call Sugar, he’ll know what to do.”

tag a lag a ding dong: @illneverrecover @zenscrotch @suzunesays @serensama @sinfulinsecret

[ryik-the-writer]

Rumbelle fic: A Sitting Deal

A Sitting Deal 5/6

A03 Link

Rating: T+

Summary: With the threat of a rent increase being held over her head, Lacey E. French makes a deal with Mr. Gold to babysit his three-year-old son. Soon however the town troublemaker finds herself getting close to her landlord and son…which just can’t be good!

Note: for my Rumbelle Secret Santa recipient…@of-princes-and-savages, based off the prompt: Hey, who’s kid is this

“Hi…” Lacey croaked as her face flamed. “You’re back early.”

“I closed the shop early to bring you lunch,” Gold said as he stepped forward, a strange half-smile on his face. “What are you…”

“Nothing!” Lacey defended, putting a good foot between her and the fluffy toddler who had somehow broken down all her defenses. She rushed past him to the hall bath, splashing her face with the icy water in hopes of drawling out her senses.

“Get a grip Lace!” she chided, slapping the sides of her head. “You can’t get attached to someone else’s kid—or to them for that matter—geez!” she patted her cheeks with a soft towel and willed the thoughts away.

This is just a job. This is just a job. This is just a job.

She continued to mutter under her breath as she eased out of the bathroom. Gold already had Bae in his highchair with a diced-up eggroll.

“Are you well?” Gold inquired.

“Yeah, just…the heat,” Lacey shrugged off, taking a place on the other side of the counter. “Yum, Chinese,”

They passed the cartons around and prepared their plates. To her absolute shock, Gold turned around and brought out a bottle of red wine.

“It’s barely five,” Lacey pointed out with a wide grin.

“Well, you seemed like you needed to relax,” he said as he passed her a barely filled glass. “Mind yourself though. I’m still ambient about the no alcohol rule.”

“Noted,” Lacey said as she gulped down her wine.

They ate quietly for a while, occasionally refilling their glasses (which Gold monitored and controlled).

Now in better spirits, Lacey spared a glance at Bae, a smile tugging at her cheeks.

“He looks just like you,” Lacey commented. “You sure you didn’t just spit him out?”

Gold scoffed. “I wish that had been the case.”

“Oh, juicy backstory,” Lacey winked.

“No,” Gold denied.

“Come on!” Lacey whined.

“It’s really not any of your business Miss French,” Gold warned, though the wine had dulled his snark.

“Look,” Lacey countered. “I suck at lying. So one day if I’m playing dinosaurs or some crap with Bae and he suddenly asks me about his mom, what do you expect me to tell him?”

She and Gold stared at each other for a moment, and Lacey twitched at the way Gold was gawking.

“You’d really want to be around her that long?” Gold questioned.

Lacey felt a cold shudder run up her spine. Had she really just envisioned that?

“I’m being hypothetical,” she added quickly to cover herself.

Gold’s lip twitch, and she could see the ‘yeah right’ look on his face.

“Very well Miss French,” Gold sighed in false defeat. “But this stays between us,”

“Agreed,” Lacey nodded as he topped off her wine.

He relayed the story of how his marriage was embarrassingly short-lived, and how he and his wife had been unable to tolerate each other during its short course. He added on about how she left with a lover and Gold thought that would be it.

Lacey felt an uneasy drop in her gut as Gold’s face changed at the memory. This was hurtful for him, to have such a scab from his past peeled off so abruptly.

But she didn’t stop him, nor did he stop himself.

“Then I got a call from the sheriff’s station one night,” Gold continued. “It turns out Milah left with a lot more than just a portion of my bank account, and she was returning what she didn’t want,”

“Bae,” Lacey breathed, glancing at the stained boy.

“Indeed,” Gold nodded as he sipped on his wine.

Lacey tried to wrap her head around the idea of a mother just dropping off her kid. Her own mom had been mother of the year even when she was sick. How could someone raise there kid for a few years and then just toss them away?

“Any follow-ups?” Lacey inquired.

“I didn’t think there was a need for one,” Gold confided. “She gave me my son. I’m counting myself lucky.”

Lacey nodded. She could have left him anywhere, but she made sure that he went to someone who would love him unwarrantedly.

“So on the day you and Bae are playing with dinosaurs and he asks about his mum, you’ll know what to say,” Gold teased passively.

Lacey lifted her glass in a salute, “You got it.” Her joking nature kept the mood light, but Lacey felt a great sense of dread over Gold’s story. Was that why Bae was clinging to her so? Did he just miss his mama and somehow connected her with the other woman?

Gold moved around the counter to help Baelfire down from his chair, the boy fussing when Gold took a wet rag to clean off his face and hands.

“So what of you?” Gold inquired when Bae bounded off to the living room.

“Sorry, no vindictive ex-wives for me,” Lacey winked.

“I assumed,” Gold countered. “I shared a shred of my past, I’d like to hear one of yours.”

Lacey tapped her nails on the counter, uneasiness setting in. “I don’t really have interesting stories,”

“Of course you do,” Gold encouraged. “You’re an intelligent woman, why did you stay in Storybrooke?”

Lacey scoffed. “Where else would I go?”

“Anywhere you want,” Gold countered. “You must have wanted to go elsewhere once,”

Lacey thought about Belle with her brave smiles and wide-eyed sense of wonder.

“Well,” Lacey gulped. “There was a time when…” she sighed, shaking her head at her more youthful self. “I wanted to be a probation officer,”

She waited for the scoff. Lacey French on the right side of the law? Pure fiction!

But Gold only nodded, his eyes light with wonder. “Why didn’t you?”

Lacey shrugged, recalling the day her barely existent plan burnt to ash.

Literally.

“My mum died when Belle and I were thirteen,” Lacey relayed, the memory of the kindly sick woman barely registering a sprig of sadness within her.

“She left us a little bit of money. Not much but just enough that we could go to the least expensive colleges in Maine. But dad grieved hard and swindled the majority of it,”

“That explains why he never pays his rent in full,” Gold muttered.

“By the time we were sending out applications, there was only enough for one of us to go,” Lacey gripped the glass. “Belle got accepted to her fist choice, and we just had enough of mum’s money left to spread over the next four years.”

“But what of you?” Gold pressed.

Lacey closed her eyes. She could have easily lied, said she hadn’t been ready to grow up, that she thought college was for people who wanted to rot in cubical and stressed over things like board meetings and signing the head secretary’s birthday card.

“Truth is,” Lacey began. “I…got accepted to a tech school an hour outside of Storybrooke. It was a third of the price for Belle’s school, and would have taken less time to get my degree.”

Gold smiled. Lacey had a dream once, and a way to accomplish it.

“But,” Lacey shrugged, her expression dull. “Belle…wanted it so bad,” she licked her lips. “She was always destined to leave this place, to be better than…”

Gold stilled when he saw her lip tremble, his fingers twitching to comfort her.

With a broken sigh she reached out and grabbed the bottle and took a short swig, just enough to burn her throat. Gold looked uneasy but did not stop her.

“Anyway,” she gasped, slamming the bottle on the counter. “I tore up my acceptance letter and Belle was none the wiser. I got shit from half the town about how I was a waste if I couldn’t get into a tech school and took up pool as a hobby.”

“Lacey I’m so sorry,” Gold said sorrowfully.

Lacey tapped on her glass, the burns her father, teachers, and everyone else who had two cents had given her still raw. Only Belle had spared her, giving her sister her blessing to live her life to her own accord. Ignorant of the sacrifice that her twin had made.

Although Lacey felt that her twin knew deep down. She had to, didn’t she?

“It is what it is,” Lacey laughed. “And at least I got a job with the richest man in town.”

“I’ll cheer to that,” Gold smiled, clinking his glass with hers as they finished off the bottle.

“You know, you’re a classy guy Mr. Gold,” Lacey said. “Not really who I thought you were.”

“Oh really,” Gold husked.

“Yep,” Lacey smirked. “You’re a decent bloke, good listener, great taste in wine,” she glanced back at Bae who was stacking blocks on top of a firetruck. “And a decent pop to boot,”

“You’re not who I thought you were either,” Gold agreed. “You’re witty, and surprisingly good with children,”

“Whoa!” Lacey protested, poking Gold in the chest. “Let’s not go that far. I’m good with your kid. Throw anyone else’s in there and I crash and burn.”

“You might be surprised,” Gold pointed out, his hand wrapping around the one digging into his chest. “You’re so much more capable than you know,”

Lacey stared at the hand just kissing her own, so unaccustomed to anything but harsh grabs from irritated drunks that the sweet touch seemed almost like a joke.

But Gold’s expression was anything but lighthearted. In fact when Lacey met his eyes again she found him looking at her like she had just took a bullet for him.

“W…what?” Lacey gulped, thankful her high tolerance for alcohol had prevented her from becoming too lightheaded.

“I…” he began to answer, but the words seemed to leave him. He had yet to let go of her hand.

Lacey didn’t react when he stepped closer. Usually she’d be on edge if anyone got within a foot of her, but with Gold it felt too familiar, comfortable even. Like she was with another version of herself.

Thus, when Gold began inching closer, his lips just hovering over hers, she didn’t feel the need to conk him upside the jaw and bail. It was so odd, these feelings that had surfaced since she’d agreed to all this. The confusion and bordering disgust she had felt was melting into something she couldn’t describe, or really want to.

Lacey French went with the flow, after all.

Just as acceptance for what was to come washed over hers, a loud crash reminded her that this wasn’t just about her and Gold; there was a third party to consider.

The couple shot around to find that Baelfire had knocked his tower of blocks down, the action having startled him to tears.

“Oh Bae,” Gold soothed as he limped to pick up the little boy. “It’s okay son, it’s okay.”

Lacey took the lapse to compose herself and try to solve this great mystery before her. She had just tried to kiss Mr. Gold. Her landlord and now technically boss. The father of the charge that she had somehow developed a strange protective instinct for.

She turned to stare at the loving duo as Gold eased Bae out of his hiccups. The little boy laid his head on his father’s shoulder, his eyes drooping with exhaustion. Lacey gasped lightly: she had forgotten to put him down for a nap today.

In that moment all the building happiness and control Lacey had felt the last few days collapsed just as easily as Bae’s block tower.

What was she doing? This wasn’t the life for her! She couldn’t be a romantic partner and a mother figure! She was Lacey E. French. The town troublemaker. She drank too much, was careless, and was too afraid to follow her own dream.

Her eyes stung with kept tears as she felt aimlessly for her jacket. She didn’t belong here. She couldn’t belong here.

“Lacey?” Gold inquired when he saw how pale she had become.

“I’m sorry,” Lacey sobbed. “This was a mistake.”

“Lacey wait!” Gold called after her as she sped out the door, jostling Bae from the effort.

The door slammed before he could catch up to her, leaving him woefully lost. Thankfully Bae had drifted off to sleep in the commotion, completely unaware with just how dejected his Papa felt.