#When you dye and style your hair ''unprofessionally''

[kamorth]

Just as an intro, yes this post reads VERY white. Unfortunately a lot of recent history is only accessible through white lenses and as I myself am about as white as it is possible to be, I don't have another viewpoint that I can write from with any kind of authority. My lack of experience does not negate anyone else's experiences or views.

In the 80s, being punk was how you showed disdain for conformity. NO, I DON'T Want to be Like You THE WOLRD IS SHITTY AND I AM ANGRY. They were the trash that you warned your kids to stay away from because they were dangerous and violent.

Grunge quickly followed suit with Yeah the world is shitty why do what the boring conformist bougies tell you when you can just do your own thing over here instead. They were the trash you hoped your kids got sick of but the worst parents ever suspected of them was maybe a bit of weed and some clumsy make outs, not that big a deal.

In the late 90s (my teens) it was goths. We are so sick of you and your church and shoving it down my throat with pushing for prayer in schools and Christian Pop Rock all over the billboard top 40. That kid is a witch now and You JUST Don't Get It. Depression is my baseline and the idea of being like you is the cause. We were the trash that were just indulging in a phase and would grow out of it, so we could be humored but mostly ignored (unless your parents were hard core Bible bashers, in which case you would get sent to something akin to conversion therapy - since you were also probably Queer it often was just outright conversion therapy).

Then the emos showed up and people started getting annoyed, partly because suddenly there were goths that you COULDN'T ignore for two reasons, they were LOUD about being sad and THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM. Since they couldn't be ignored out of existence, the Western world decided to collectively bully them instead. They were the trash that was Just So Damn Cringe!

And now poverty is skyrocketing. Homelessness is a plague that has struck so many people who have committed no crime outside of bad luck. Actual fascists are in positions of power. Planned obsolescence and decades of lobbying by the oil industry in favour of petrol and plastics is destroying everything beautiful about this planet.

And Punk is back. Be ANGRY at your politicians who don't listen. Let your anger be heard so that they know you will not accept these ideas. Grunge is back. It doesn't have to be new, it just has to be functional. Work together to make a community you WANT to live in. Goth is back. Mourn for the world we were promised but never saw. Learn about belief systems that are different to the one you were raised in, ESPECIALLY if doing so pisses off your parents. Emo is back. Fuck haters. Cringe is dead. Being comfortable in your own skin means being allowed to do what YOU want, not having to exist for the benefit of someone else.

Before us it was hippies and beatniks and flappers and dadaists and before them there were the coffee shop philosophers and the point is there have ALWAYS been people who want the world to see its own flaws and fix them. I know other cultures had the same sorts of groups, like the Japanese Subekan gangs (who created the original lolita fashion trend as a way to take femininity back from being sexualized) and Islamic Sufism (an Islamic sect who practice things forbidden by stricter groups, such as singing and dancing) but I'm an armchair scholar, not an expert.

When society is broken, our numbers surge.

We are surging.

Society needs us.

[panachestudios]

Guide to Selecting the Appropriate Hair Salon

An important aspect of your appearance is your hairstyle. Your hairstyle, colour, and cut all can express who you are. Similarly, your sense of style and self-esteem can take a serious hit from an unprofessional cut or dye job. When it concerns your hair, you should not rely on just anyone. Trust and understanding are key to choosing the right hair salon and stylist. Communicating with a stylist who listens and offers professional advice is key. Before you visit a hair salon, make sure they have these qualities. In this article, we will explore the things to consider while choosing the best salon in bangalore.

Location

The long-term success of your hair care routine depends, in large part, on your salon's location. Do you want to find a salon close to your house or your place of employment? Consider a different spot depending on when you usually go to the hair salon. To avoid having an excuse not to look your best, make sure the salon in bangalore you choose is easy to get to.

Procured service

Consider the services of a hair salon before choosing one. The last thing you want to do is switch hair salons if the one you like only offers a few services. Some hair salons offer spray tanning, eyebrow waxing, and more. Choosing a salon in bangalore that does more than cuts can streamline your life.

Price Range

When you shop, one thing that usually comes to mind is the price. You can receive the services you need from your hair salon frequently without going into debt if you find one that offers reasonable prices.

Atmosphere and Decor

It would be best if you also aimed to be relaxed and comfortable when you visit your hair salon for your scheduled appointment. A significant component of this is the salon's ambience and furnishings. Before you book an appointment, scout out the hair salon you're considering visiting online to get a feel for the place.

Work Ethics and Professionalism

Just as the salon's ambience and furnishings significantly put you at ease during your hair appointment, so do the stylists and other employees. A stylist who listens to your preferences and works with you one-on-one can perfect your style. Every time you go to the top salon in bangalore, you can rely on the expert stylists to give your hair a new, improved look.

Customer Testimonials

Before making a purchase, it is always a good idea to read reviews written by previous customers. This may be particularly the case in the hair salon industry. Avoid a disastrous look by choosing the right hair salon by reading reviews online and asking trusted friends and family for recommendations.

Exclusive Deals and Sales

Discounts and special deals should last on your list when choosing a hair salon. New Customer Specials are a cheap way to try a new hair salon. Avoid assuming a special or promotional offer covers all your needs; read the fine print.

Conclusion

Always remember Panache Studios when narrowing down your options for a new hair salon in Bangalore. You can trust that their expert stylists will leave you feeling and looking your best because they are the best in the business. They provide a wide range of services beyond what one would expect from a typical hair salon.

[asofterfan]

Winter Winds

Chapter 1: Hot Mess

Previous ~ Next

Summary: Six years later...

Warnings: alcoholism, transphobia, enbyphobia, nbphobia, self esteem issues

No matter what ringtone they chose for their alarm, Remy would always hate it within two days.

Blindly reaching out to turn off the tortuous chimes that indicated it was time to wake the fuck up, Remy sighed heavily. Sitting up, they were faced with the familiar pounding in their skull. The glass next to their mattress was empty, so either they’d have to get up to get water, or not get water. They flopped back onto the mattress.

But within a few minutes their second alarm was chiming, drawing out a long groan as they slapped at their phone again. Fine. Time to get up apparently.

Remy sat up and stretched, scratching at the leftover body glitter on their shoulder from the night before. As they stood they gently kicked a few empty bottles out of their way.

The apartment looked different, but in reality it hadn’t changed much in the past six years. The same mattress sat in the same corner, the same old crate as a side table, the same thrift store rug and old loveseat. They never bothered to get a dresser when their suitcase worked just fine, and there were a few boxes that they had never bothered to fully unpack. Their life was layered on top in the form of posters and ticket stubs and Christmas lights and trash shoved into corners. Sketchbooks lay piled in a corner, and dirty clothes were shoved into a laundry bag, ready for whenever they worked up the motivation to go to the laundromat.

Opening a cabinet in the kitchen, Remy grabbed one of three glasses they owned, filling it with tap water and chugging it. Leaning against the kitchen counter, they fiddled with the ends of their hair. It was mid-back, the pink underside slightly faded. They’d have to re-dye it soon. The ends were dry, and split, but Remy was confident they were hot enough that no one paid attention to their neglected hair.

A third alarm started ringing from their phone. What a bitch. Groaning, Remy stalked over to their bed, snatching their phone and silencing the alarm, quickly going through and turning off all the upcoming alarms as well. They awake enough, they didn’t need an alarm every five minutes today.

Quickly swiping through their phone, Remy hit shuffle on itunes, turning the volume all the way up before tossing it on the couch. The mirror above the bathroom sink showed them the smudged remains of their makeup from the night before. Sighing, they got to work washing it off, nodding their head to the beat of the music.

Once that was finished, they halfheartedly brushed their hair before throwing it into a ponytail, and brushed their teeth. Picking up the mouthwash, they found it was empty, groaning in frustration as they remembered using the last of it the morning before. Rubbing at their eyes, still tired, Remy wandered back into the kitchen, only to return to the bathroom a moment later with a bottle of vodka. Same thing, right? Taking a swig straight from the bottle, Remy swished it around in their mouth, grimacing before spitting it into the sink. Good enough.

Remy was pretty sure they didn’t own any clothing that didn’t have holes in it, or was too small, or both, but there were still a few shirts in the ‘clean’ pile so at least they didn’t have to worry about laundry just yet. Cass once told them their style was “homeless punk”, which like…. Rude, but not inaccurate.

Pulling on their tattered boots, held together by duck tape and spite, Remy finally turned off their music. Their leather jacket was hanging next to the door, and as they slipped it on they made sure they had all the essentials- wallet, keys, phone, sunglasses, headphones, and pronoun necklace with the charm flipped to “THEY/THEM”.

Checking the time, they knew they’d have to skip their Starbucks run if they wanted to be on time to work. Luckily, Remy didn’t give a fuck about being on time.

Caffeine before capitalism, bitches.

~

“What is UP motherfuckers I am so tired.”

“You’re also late,” a tall woman, only slightly shorter than Remy, with light blue hair crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at them.

“Oh come on, Ali,” A petite brunette piped in from where she was disinfecting her station, “You say that like he’s not late everyday!”

“They’re not late everyday, Cass” Remy insisted, tapping at their necklace as they sauntered over to their own station beside the shorter woman’s, “Some days I’m not scheduled,” they winked.

“Sleeeeeeeep,” Ali sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and drawing the artist’s attention again. “I get that being late is like, your trademark, but what kind of boss would I be if I just kept letting you get away with it?”

“A great one,” Remy replied without hesitation. Putting their stuff down, Remy took a long sip of coffee before continuing, “Ali, I know you’ve been stressed since you officially took over for Rachel-”

“Rest in peace,” Cass interrupted solemnly.

“Stop telling people I’m dead!” Huffing indignantly, a heavily pregnant woman appeared in the lobby, carrying a box full of beat up sketchbooks.

“Rache!” Remy exclaimed, “Tell Ali I can do whatever I want!”

“You most certainly can NOT,” Rachel asserted, moving to brace the box on her hip as she stared down her former employees, “Remy, try to bring your asshole level down to maybe 75 percent. Ali, somehow Remy has managed to keep a good string of clientele and positive reviews. Pick your battles. Cass, stop sending my wife ‘your condolences’.”

“Fiiiiiiine.”

“If you say so.”

“Killjoy.”

Rachel shook her head fondly, “Don’t destroy my shop, bitches. I’ll be back eventually.” With that, she headed to her car, leaving the others grumbling behind her. The day continued, each going about their own business, working on designs for upcoming clients, answering emails about appointments. Remy’s phone buzzed beside them, but they ignored it.

About two hours later, a man looking to be in his mid thirties with a few tattoos on his arms already came in without an appointment.

“You guys take walk ins?” He asked gruffly.

“Yeah, what were you looking to get?”

Remy sighed from their station. Brett and Rafa weren’t scheduled to come in for another hour, and Cass was in the middle of a tattoo, which meant the walk in was definitely going to be Remy’s problem.

Sure enough, Ali called them over, “Remy, I got a client for you.”

Plastering on their best customer service smile, Remy sauntered over, “Excellent, what do I have the honor of immortalizing today?”

Dear God, the man was unironically getting a Fight Club quote tattooed on his forearm. Remy almost quit then and there. Ali glared, shaking her head minutely from behind the man, her eyes promising pain if Remy was anything less than cordial. Killjoy.

Gritting their teeth, Remy smiled, “Alright, come take a look at some fonts and I’ll get you set up.”

Remy wasn’t sure if the barely legible cursive font the man chose made the quote better or worse. They decided not to dwell on it. It didn’t take long to print the transfer and get their station set up, adjusting the seat in the center for a right forearm tattoo session. The client was mostly silent as Remy lightly shaved his forearm and wiped the disinfectant over it. Once the transfer the placed, the man nodded, offering a gruff “looks good”.

“Sweet, just hold tight for one more sec, hon.”

Swiveling their stool to face the steel table beside them, Remy got to work setting up their ink, along with paper towels and bottles of water and disinfectant; gauze set to the side for when they were finished.

As they worked, the man looked Remy up and down, “So, what are you?” he asked bluntly.

It hadn’t been loud before, but an uncomfortable silence seemed to settle on the whole shop, Ali glancing over from the front desk in disbelief. But Remy was unfazed. They looked up from their equipment and raised an eyebrow, “I'm a tattoo artist, duh.”

The man rolled his eyes condescendingly, “I mean, are you a man or a woman?”

Clenching their teeth, Remy took a deep breath, “Depends on the day, but today the answer is no,” they tapped on their necklace, the purple charm with a clear “THEY/THEM” on it.

“But what are you really?”

There was a pause, the tension thick as even Cass paused her work to look over incredulously. Remy wasn’t known for their patience though. They sent the man a cold smile, leaning forward to get just a little too close, “I'm the person who's about to spend the next hour injecting ink under your skin. Really.”

Stuttering, the man’s face turned a shade of red, from anger or embarrassment Remy couldn't tell, “Are you threatening me??”

“Of course not,” Remy purred, “That would be unprofessional. But maybe you should be quiet now. So I don't… lose focus.” They buzzed the tattoo gun on and off menacingly. Some of the blood drained from the man’s face. He still looked angry, like he had a lot he wanted to say very loudly right now. But he bit the words back and nodded shortly, Remy grinning wider.

“Good boy,” the man flinched as Remy placed a hand gently on his arm, situating themselves to begin working, “Now, let’s get this party started, shall we?” There is no response. Just the buzz of the tattoo gun as Remy did their job, even when they didn’t want to.

~~

“Well,” Cass drawled as the door closed behind Remy’s client, “he’s not gonna be leaving any shining reviews.”

“Worth it~,” Remy sang cheerily. Hey, they did the tattoo and they did it well. It was the man’s own fault he got a side of attitude and malice with his tattoo.

Cass rolled her eyes, returning her attention to the design she was working on in her sketchbook. But Ali frowned, coming to stand by the opening to Remy’s cubical. She spoke softly, her words just for Remy, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize he’d be a dick.”

“That’s life, hon,” Remy smirked. Ali didn’t know anyone else who could sound so cheery and so cold at the same time, “Assholes look like everyone else. They don’t wear signs. That’s why it’s best to just assume everyone is terrible until proven otherwise.”

“Well that’s a depressing way to live.”

Remy shrugged, “It’s worked well enough for me.”

Ali isn’t sure she actually believes that, but Remy turns their back to her, continuing to break down their station, everything about them communicating that the conversation was over.

There was a buzz from Remy’s phone. They ignored it.

~~

“Remy, tell Logan he’s overreacting!”

“FALSEHOOD!”

“You’re not helping your case there, sexy specs.”

Remy turned away from their computer, resting their chin on their hand as they took in the two bickering teenagers who had just arrived.

Virgil cut off Logan’s argument, still glaring at him even as he spoke to Remy, “Look, let me explain, Logan’s all in a huff just cause-”

“Nope,” Remy interrupted, holding a hand up with an expressionless gaze, “Don’t wanna hear it. I do not need unnecessary details in order to know with absolute certainty that you,” he pointed at Logan, “are overreacting-”

“HAH!”

“-and you,” Virgil’s victory was short lived as Remy’s finger shifted to point at him, “are underreacting.”

Virgil gasped indignantly as Logan started an angry “how DARE you-” rant. Remy sipped their tea and slowly swiveled their chair around until the teens were left arguing with their back. After a few minutes, Ali finally intervened and at least got them to argue more quietly until they finally let whateverthefuck they were going on about go and finally turned their attention back to Remy.

“Any new projects?” Virgil questioned as Logan draped himself across the tattoo chair in the center of Remy’s cubicle.

Remy hummed, “Not really. But I have a few consultations coming up, so maybe soon,” they tapped away at their computer, answering emails to confirm appointments and give price estimates.

Groaning, Virgil pouted, “So nothing for me?”

“Not today, gurl.”

“Uuuuuuuuugh…” he flopped dramatically on top of Logan, “now what?”

“I dunno,” Remy turned to raise an eyebrow at the pile of punks on his chair, “you’re teenage troublemakers. Go make trouble. Somewhere. Else.”

“Meh,” Logan replied, “We’ll just do homework here. We haven’t seen you in like a week.”

“Lucky you,” Remy replied without missing a beat.

“Remy nooooo,” Brett glanced up from the front desk, wide puppy eyes staring at the taller artist.

Cass’ voice was heard from the other side of the divider, “Aw great, now you’ve gone and summoned one of Brett’s positivity rants!”

“Why does no one follow the shop guidelines?” Brett asked, lip trembling as he held up the framed sign that lived on the front desk and pointed to item number four: “No Self Deprecation Allowed”

“It’s cute you think I follow rules.”

Remy continued going through their email, occasionally making notes in their calendar or sketchbook, ignoring Brett’s lecture or the giggling high schoolers behind them.

Things quieted down eventually, with the punks doing some homework assignments while the artists did their work. Remy waved casually when Logan and Virgil finally departed. Rafa emerged from the staff break room, sipping a soda and smiling as the door shut behind the high schoolers.

“Damn. Those kids really like you, Rems,” he commented fondly.

But Remy only shrugged, sipping their tea nonchalantly, “I was in the right place at the right time and they imprinted on me like baby ducklings.”

“Punklings,” Cass’ giggled from her station.

Remy snorted, but turned back to Rafa, “If you had been working that day then they’d be your ‘best friends’.”

Rafa exchanged a look with Brett before shaking his head sadly, “Eh. Agree to disagree.”

~~

Despite Remy constantly being late, they also had a tendency of staying late as well. Once they got caught up in a project they were loath to leave until it was finished. Plus, if they stayed late enough they could go straight from work to one of their favorite clubs.

As the artists finished closing up the shop, Remy sighed as their phone buzzed again. Reluctantly, they pulled the device from their pocket to glance at the messages. There were two missed calls and a text.

PopPicani: Hey kiddo! Sorry I keep missing you. You want to come over for dinner tomorrow? It’s been way too long! <3

“We’re grabbing some drinks from The Dubliner, you wanna come?”

Remy blinked in surprise as they were pulled from their thoughts. They weren’t sure why the group still asked. Every time their coworkers went out they invited Remy, and every time Remy answered the same way.

“Nah, I’m doing my own thing,” They adjusted their bag on their shoulder as they exited the building, raising a hand in farewell, “See you tomorrow.”

“Don’t forget, you have a consultation appointment in the morning!” Ali called after them, “10:30am! Don’t make them wait!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Remy responded nonchalantly, tapping away at their phone.

Sleepyhead: Sorry, been super busy lately. Maybe another time though. :) 

Pocketing the device, Remy pulled their sunglasses over their eyes, making their way into the nightlife. Alone as usual.

Just the way they liked it.

[thechocoboos]

HC: Dying Your Hair (Ft. Cor)

Sidenote: I dye my hair dark blue and these were born out of me waiting for my damn dye to sit for two hours. Enjoy.

Noctis

He paid no mind the one time you mentioned you wanted to dye your hair, just shrugged it off and never gave it a second thought

When you came home with a small container of hair dye, he was a little concerned but once again shrugged it off

Now, when he saw you standing in the bathroom with a towel around your shoulders, vinyl gloves on, hair prelightened, and dipping a paint brush into the same container of hair dye from earlier, he found it a little difficult to simply shrug it off as he had done before

Instead, he blankly stared at you while you started to cover your hair with the funny smelling goop

After a minute of staring in confusion, he walked off (yes, he did so tall), spending no more than five minutes wondering about it

In the end, he was slightly surprised, but he thought it was damn cool

He also loved the fuck out of it, even tho he never said anything beyond “Yeah, it’s cool, I like it”

Behind your back, he would rub it in the other bro’s faces and talk about how awesome it was

It would make part of him want to dye his own hair for a solid 27 seconds before he dismissed the idea as too much effort

He pays for the rest of your hair dye btw and never says a word of it

Whenever there’s a big official, formal thing he has to go to, he’ll take you as his date and match his tie to your hair (he never says a word about it either)

And whenever you dye your hair a new color, it starts a new hair color trend in Insomnia

In case you were dyeing your hair before you guys were together/knew each other: he thought it was cool but didn’t care too much tbh, he just goes with the flow (although he sometimes thinks about it for a solid like five mins)

Prompto

The second you said you wanted to dye your hair, Prompto was bouncing in his seat and throwing colors at you faster than you could say “Ardyn’s a Fuckwad”

He would talk about it to the other bros nonstop, “omg guys, Y/N is dyeing their hair omg did i tell you that”

When you finally got around to doing it, he would insist on helping only to get hair dye everywhere (including on himself)

When he got hair dye in his own bangs by accident, you had to dismiss him with a kiss on his cheek and remind him that you love him but he has to wait outside

The dye stained his hair btw. You guys have matching hair now. Well, your hair and part of his at least

Sometimes, during training with Cor or Gladio, he’ll just gush about how cool you are and how much the color suits you

Cor kept trying to remind him to keep his head straight and finally had to dismiss sparring early cause Prompto nearly took his own head off

Gladio usually just yells at Prompto instead though and threatens to cut the accidentally-dyed part of Prompto’s hair off if he doesn’t focus (it works like a charm)

In summary, Prompto thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world and he loves you even more for it, also he’s probably more excited than you are

Sometimes he runs up to you with an eager, “Babe! Babe! BAbe!!!” only to show you cool hair colors and styles that he found (that he also wants you to do on your own hair, bless)

In the event that you were already dyeing your hair before you guys were a thing: he thinks it makes you the coolest person in the world and he excitedly asks you like 50 questions about dyeing hair (it is so fucking cute, god bless)

Oh, he loves watching you put dye in your hair btw

When he finds out that the bleaching process is a lil bit painful, he actually started begging for you to stop doing it (it was super heartwarming but a tad bit annoying)

Gladio

He didn’t think you’d actually dye your hair, but he didn’t care too much in the first place

But when you actually do it…

He thinks it’s the hottest thing ever

Like, he loved you to begin with of course, and he thought you were wonderfully hot and gorgeous but, you dying your hair was like a new pokemon evolution

He didn’t think you could get hotter, then you dyed your hair

He likes to run his hands through the unnatural colored strands of hair

I will tell you one thing: it’s a good thing the chemical smell wears off tho, ‘cause he fucking hates it

He once said it smelled like it could give you cancer

Much like Noctis, he loves it more than he realized he would and silently prays that you’ll keep dyeing it

When he told Iris, she actually started to help you dye your hair (it was so much easier when she started helping too, bless)

Sometimes, you’d find him zoned out and just staring at your hair in the evenings with an odd look on his face

It was pretty cute, so you never said anything

He’d also give you nicknames on the colors that you’d use

My personal favorites are, “Spitfire” for that bright red you used, “Lemon” for the one time you were blonde for a week, and “Ariel” for that mermaid blue he loved so much

And if you dyed your hair regularly before you guys even met: your hair stuck out to him for a solid second before he got used to it and treated you the exact same as anyone else, and yes, he did think it was hot

Also, sometimes he goes with you when you go to get your roots redone, and when he realizes that the bleach actually stings (and makes your eyes burn a lil bit), he’s lowkey horrified but impressed

Ignis

You mentioned it in passing, which made him a tad bit concerned

When you actually went out to purchase the dye and started looking for someone to lighten your hair first, he realized you were gonna go through with it

He respected your desire to dye your hair, but he didn’t agree with it (he thought it was too unprofessional)

Still tho, he loved and respected you, and as a result, he didn’t want you to do something you’d regret or damage your hair in any way

So, of course, he looked into it

He did research on brands, salons, coloring styles, which colors last longer, etc

Basically, you didn’t have to lift a finger

Hell, when you decided to put the legit dye in at home, he pulled on a pair of gloves and an apron, sat you down in a chair, and applied the dye himself (he did a fantastic job btw)

He made himself your personal hair colorer, and hot damn he was good (plus whenever he rinsed the dye out, he gave you a mini scalp massage so that alone made it the best thing ever)

Just like the others, he realized he really fuckin liked your new hair color. Then again, it’s Iggy, so he’d probs like your new hair if you shaved it all off, just ‘cause he loved every you look you get

He made sure to give you deep conditioning treatments and such so the bleach didn’t ruin your hair completely, and whenever your hair dye started fading, he would jump right on redyeing it

The man took better care of your hair than his own, hell, he even loved to just brush it and run his fingers through the newly dyed locks (his newfound obsession with your hair was surprising to everyone, including himself)

And if you were dyeing your hair before you guys met: when he first met you, he thought it was odd and he had some questions, so as you guys got to know each other he would politely ask questions about your hair (not before doing a lot of research tho)

Bonus! Cor

He brushed off your comment when you talked about dyeing your hair cause… to put it bluntly, Cor doesn’t care much. He’s a firm believer of “your life, your decisions”

Still, he is curious

He wondered what made you want to dye your hair, and he wondered what color 

Still, his life doesn’t have surprises too often, so he doesn’t ask about the color (your relationship with him was probably the first surprise he’d had in years)

So imagine his surprise when he comes home after a long day only to see you with bright, light blue hair

You claimed it was to match his eyes (it was btw. Partly cause you couldn’t decide on a color, but he doesn’t need to know that)

It made him blush a lil bit (he loves it btw)

He didn’t think someone changing their hair color would be a big deal, but to him it kinda was, just ‘cause he’s Cor, and for the most part, his life is pretty static at his age

But honestly, the only way you could tell he even noticed was the very slight widening of his eyes and the dumb, cute smile he wore when he walked past you

The day after, he totally tells Clarus alllll about it

The next day, the recruits he’s training are lucky, ‘cause you bet your ass he’s gonna be thinking about you and your new hair the entire time, so he’s just a bit lax on them

I will tell you tho, he’s slightly annoyed at the blue strands of hair that start popping up

Like before, he could ignore your strands of hair that appear around the apartment, but now, they’re bright blue and impossible to ignore

He still loves you tho, and your new hair

At night when you guys are going to sleep, he likes to stare at your bright blue hair in the dark and just think about how much he loves you

Whenever he has some free time in his office, he likes to think about what you would look like with different hair dyes  (he doesn’t get very much free time tho)

Even when you switch your hair dye colors, you always keep one section of your hair that same, bright, light blue, just so you can match his eyes (the first time you did that, he almost cried)

It makes him smile every time he looks at it and he can’t help but give you a soft, loving kiss as he reminds himself of how lucky he is to have a SO who’s that precious and loving

[theofficialcunt]

Prompt: rewind a bit to before Negative Nancy came out and have Adore be nervous about whether or not the fans would like it and Bianca comes over at like 1AM to comfort her cause Adore is freaking out

I know this is super long for a prompt but I just couldn’t help myself! I go a little off track but I hope that it’s still what you were looking for anon. Enjoy! 💕

Adore had just wrapped up the last song on her album today, which ironically would be the first song she would be releasing as a single to the public.

The album had a very different sound for 2017, sounding more like the early 2000’s punk rock bands she had grown up with, with influences from the 90’s peppered into some of the tracks here and there. She had been inspired by the grunge movement in Seattle, and took comfort in the rock and roll city after her dramatic departure from All Stars 2.

“We’re confident that your album will make history Miss Delano.” The platinum blonde receptionist smiled, but Adore sensed a hidden undertone in her voice.

Was it doubt?

Adore smiled back faintly nodding in agreement, and walked towards the elevator to exit the record producers building.

She couldn’t doubt herself now. Everything was set in stone now, and it would be incredibly unprofessional to break the contract. Maybe punk rock wasn’t the receptionists style. She thought back idly to the young woman with over bleached white hair was pulled tightly into two dutch braids. She was wearing all black which could indicate punk or some sort of hidden angst, but that was most likely the company’s dress code.

Shrugging off the comment, she decided to leak the first single to her top 4 group chat to see what they thought.

Adore: Just wrapped my album up! Listen to the first single and tell me what you think ❤️

She finished typing and slid the phone back into her jeans. Just then, the elevator bell dinged indicating she had reached her floor. She stepped out, sighing as she began to walk to her car out in the parking garage.

“Hey!”

Adore spun around and saw none other than Roy. He was by himself, and had just gotten out of his car. He looked amazing - of course - with windswept hair and his black blazer.

“Oh my god! What are you doing here?” Adore asked confused as she hugged him. It had been awhile since she saw Roy, these days they were often scheduled on opposite sides of the globe. They talked so little they were practically strangers at this point.

“My management company is in this building. We’re about to go over plans for a new tour.” Roy explained. “I thought you knew that?”

Maybe at one time Adore knew that, but it had clearly slipped her mind. Roy had been really distant with Adore lately. They used to text every single day- outside of the group chat- but they hadn’t had a real conversation in months. Maybe even close to a year.

“Guess not.” Adore shrugged. She paced uncomfortably towards her car. “Well, I’ll let you get to your meeting then. I don’t wanna keep you.”

“Yeah, I should get going.” Roy cleared his throat awkwardly, his voice failing to hide a tone of disappointment. “How long are you in town?”

“I’ll be here until Wednesday.” Adore said.

“Well if you aren’t busy, we should get together before you go back to Seattle.” Roy suggested.

“Sure man!” Adore said excitedly, smiling toothily. She missed Roy, but she didn’t want to seem desperate and clingy like she was always made out to be.  

“Party. I’ll see you later then.” Roy grinned and gave Adore a hug goodbye, lingering a little longer before he pulled away.

Adore pulled away, walking to her car and sitting down before she allowed herself to really think about what just happened.

That was awkward, no doubt about it and she wondered if Roy even really wanted to see her.

She started her car, realizing that Roy didn’t even see the text about her song that she sent in the group chat. Well, either he didn’t see it, or didn’t care enough about her anymore to give it a listen.

She decided to forget about their encounter, and as she headed back to her hotel; she focused on blasting her new album instead of waiting for her friends response.

——————

1:00 AM

Bzz, bzz.

Danny swatted his phone away from him as it continued to vibrate. It was most likely just notifications for his social media. He was confused, and he was about 15 beers deep as he listened to his album on repeat over and over again.

He caved and grabbed his phone, seeing that the vibrating was just fans tweeting him to release Dye and Rosie. He rolled his eyes, still irritated at the person who hacked his phone months ago. He closed twitter and scrolled through his messages again, re-reading what Courtney in particular had said.

Courtney: Wow, that’s quite a different sound for you. You’re definitely taking a risk Adorm.

He knew the Aussie meant well, but the words still hurt. He had been doubting himself since the afternoon, wondering if he had made a mistake recording an alternative album. It had unintentionally put him over the edge.

The fact that Roy hadn’t even commented on the song pissed him off even more. He clearly didn’t care about having any sort of friendship with Danny, let alone a professional relationship. Everytime Bianca had a new tour announcement, Adore would tweet her support for B to her followers to help boost sales. Not like she needed it, but she felt it was the right thing to do. She used to do that for Adore back in the day too, but now apparently that’s out the window. Adore can’t even get a text back, let alone any support on social media.

She decided enough was enough. She slammed her fingers firmly into glass iphone screen, entering the phone number that she knew by heart.

“Hello?”

“Listen, I don’t know what your fucking problem is man. But you need to actually talk to me like a fucking adult, and tell me what the fuck is wrong.” Danny spat.

Roy, clearly taken off guard, paused as he was for the first time in history rendered speechless by Danny.

“Well hello to you too.” Roy snapped. “Do you realize that it’s the middle of the night?”

“I know how to read a clock. And don’t fucking act like you haven’t been out all night drinking. We’re in West Hollywood. I highly doubt you were sleeping in bed like a responsible old man.”

Danny was on a roll, he didn’t know if it was the built up frustration, the beer, or the self doubt he was having for his new album - but he was making his feelings clear.

“I’m sorry, give me a second.” Roy said amused, his voice cracking with laughter. He cackled loudly into the receiver, enraging Danny even more.

“What’s so funny?” Danny asked annoyed. He was irritated that Roy was finding his feelings amusing, especially since he was trying to be serious.

“You’re on one of your famous drunk tirades again, and for once I’m the victim.” Roy laughed.

Danny softened as he remembered all of the times they would go out on tour together. Usually, the night would end up in a heated debate - Danny on one end arguing passionately about politics or music with anyone who would argue back. Roy would be on the other end, usually dragging Danny out of the club to avoid an inevitable bar fight.

“I’m surprised you even remember.” Danny murmured.

There was a pause, filled with sadness on Danny’s end as he remembered all of their times on tour. Danny had grown fond of Roy near the end of it, and then their schedules became crazy. It wasn’t until after he filmed All Stars where things got weird between them. That’s when they really began to grow apart, maybe because Roy didn’t agree with his decision - or maybe because Danny was going through a really emotional time and was lashing out.

“How could I forget?” Roy asked softly. “Danny, what’s wrong?”

Danny gulped, picking at his nails as he held his phone on his shoulder.

“Can you come over?”

——–

About 20 minutes later, Danny heard a faint knock at the door. After he rushed to clean up the apartment, there were only traces of the mess he had made earlier. He had stacked the empty cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon in the corner nearby, and an ashtray was laid out lazily in the middle of the small hotel coffee table. Which was a vast improvement from earlier.

He opened the door meekly, letting a casually dressed Roy saunter into the small room. He had traded in  his signature black blazer for a graphic t shirt with the letter ‘B’ on it, and some ripped black skinny jeans. Danny felt himself fangirling over the infamous Roy Haylock who usually didn’t step out of the house in anything less than slacks, wearing a pair of goddamn ripped jeans.

And he looked damn fine in them.

“One of the most successful drag queens in the world, and yet you still drink the cheapest beer. Some things never change.” Roy gestured disgusted to the tower of Pabst. “Thank god, I brought you some rich woman wine to remind you of who you are”

“Aw, you remembered my favorite brand!” Danny exclaimed as he examined the label. It was the wine they used to drink together all the time on Delta. He smiled at the memories as he grabbed two dixie cups from the bathroom. He poured until the cups were full, and handed Roy his before they sat down.

“Sorry, this room doesn’t have wine glasses in it so you’ll have to drink like a poor person with me.” Danny apologized as they sat down on the small couch together.

Roy sipped his wine, trying to hide the disgust from his face as he examined the tiny hotel room. He could tell Danny had rushed to clean it, noticing all of the remnants of fast food and weed shoved in the small garbage nearby. The faint smell of cigarettes lingered in the room, as well as the fragrance of stale beer that was sitting on the table.

“So I listened to your song.”

“You did?” Danny asked incredulously. “What did you think?”

“I liked it. It’s different but it shows who you are, and not what you think your fans want to hear.” Roy said, sipping his wine.

Danny felt relief wash over him. He was really glad Roy approved of the song, but he still had his doubts.

“But something tells me my approval isn’t what you’re looking for, so what’s the real problem here?” Roy asked bluntly.

“I-” Danny stammered. “I feel like this album isn’t going to be good enough. Courtney didn’t understand-”

“Courtney is a pop princess that barely knows the difference between The Spice Girls and Fifth Harmony. I wouldn’t take her opinion about a rock album too seriously.” Roy quipped, grabbing Danny’s hand softly before he continued. “You’re taking a risk, but that doesn’t mean that what you’re doing is wrong.”

Danny felt himself relax, as he played with Roy’s hand absentmindedly. He was right, it was a risk - but it would most likely pay off in the long run. Opinions didn’t mean anything at the end of the day, it was all about the record sales.

“I missed you Roy. I’ve missed you so much.” Danny confessed as he leaned his head on Roy’s shoulder. They were still holding hands, Roy squeezed it in response as they sat together on the couch.

“I missed you too Danny.” Roy admitted.

“Why did you push me away?” Danny asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

Roy’s shoulder stiffened as he thought about the answer.

“I can’t talk about it.” Roy finally said, so softly that Danny had hardly heard him.

“Why not?” Danny asked gently, squeezing Roy’s hand lightly. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“Not this.” Roy said, as he looked away from Danny. He almost had a guilty look on his face, as if he was hiding something awful from Danny.

“It can’t be that bad.” Danny encouraged. “Please Roy. I won’t tell anyone, and besides I’m pretty wasted so chances are I probably won’t remember it anyway.”

That was a pretty tempting statement, Roy thought. But there was always the slim possibility that Danny would remember in the morning - and he didn’t know if he wanted to take that chance.

“You can tell me anything.” Danny said, interrupting his thoughts. He really wanted to know what was up with Roy, and for some reason he felt that whatever this issue is, is what has been keeping them apart the last few months.

“Fine,” Roy started, thinking bitterly about the universe being against him at this point. “I pushed you away because I started-” Roy paused, sighing heavily as if he had just come up for air. He pulled his hand away as he continued to compose himself.

“Because?” Danny asked confused. Why was he breathing so heavily? Was he passing a kidney stone or something?

“Because I started to develop feelings for you.” Roy rushed the words out, taking a long gulp of his cup of wine before finishing it off completely. He avoided his eyes, staring down at the coffee table as he clasped his hands together.

Danny felt his heart spring to life as he processed what Roy had said. It was like someone had brought him back to life, electrifying him. He felt like he was on fire. Roy liked him? No way.

“Don’t fuck with me man.” Danny said, pleading in his voice.

“I wouldn’t fuck with you about something like this.” Roy murmured, avoiding eye contact.

Roy really had feelings for him? Him? Out of all of the attractive men, drag queens, producers, Roy’s heart had chosen him?

Well, had.

“So you don’t feel that way anymore then.” Danny said bitterly. He realized anger was starting to bubble up inside of him. “Why couldn’t you tell me back then? You didn’t even give me a chance.”

“A chance? Danny, I knew you didn’t like me. I wasn’t about to have my heart broken and lose my best friend all in one shot.” Roy argued.

“But I did like you Roy!” Danny exploded, stunning Roy into silence.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Roy finally decided, standing up. “You’re drunk.”

“You idiot, a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.” Danny muttered, grabbing Roy’s hand. “I know what I felt for you. So did all of the queens on tour.”

They stood there, holding each other’s hand as time seemed to stop. Danny felt like he was on fire, still feeling electrified by Roy’s confession - locked in by his burning brown eyes that were fixed on his face. Roy was ice, he was frozen in time not sure what he was supposed to do now. He stared at Danny, a mature 27 now. Long hair, about to be a drag queen rockstar - one of the first of his kind. But he was just as attracted to him as he was on the bots tour. He always thought the universe was against him when it came to love, but this one time he had been wrong to go against his gut. He should have just told Danny a long time ago.

“I still have feelings for you.” Danny admitted, breaking the silence.

“So do I.” Roy murmured, looking up slightly at Danny. He hated their height difference, but for him he would make an exception.

Roy moved his hand up to Danny’s cheek, caressing it softly as he stared into his eyes. Closing the distance between them, he gently pressed his lips against the younger mans. Danny moaned in delight and pulled Roy gently on top of him as he laid down on the couch, Roy softly rested his body on his as the kiss became more and more passionate.

“And you say I’m dumb.” Danny murmured in between kisses.

“You could have told me earlier that you had feelings too.” Roy argued lightheartedly, tugging on Danny’s hair.

Danny let out a soft moan as Roy moved his lips from his cheek down to his neck. He bit and sucked softly, leaving his mark on Danny as he tilted his head back in pure bliss.

Eventually the kissing died down, and Roy and Danny ended up moving to the queen sized bed instead.

“So,” Roy smiled, drawing circles on Danny’s back. “What do you want to do?”

“What do you mean?” Danny hummed sleepily.

“Do you uh, want a relationship?” Roy asked awkwardly.

Danny raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Of course I want a relationship with you. You’re out of my league, and when my money runs out you can be my sugar mama.” Danny joked.

Roy let out a soft chuckle and pulled Danny closer to him.

“Okay, just making sure.”

“Roy?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sure I’ll remember this in the morning.” Danny hummed, before they both drifted off to sleep.

[simply-shakera]

Adele: Cultural Appropriation or Cultural Appreciation?

A few days ago, British music star Adele broke the internet when she posted the photo below on instagram.

With her post came the caption:

“Happy what would be Notting Hill Carnival my beloved London”.

The post instantly went viral with some cheering her on, some calling her a culture vulture, some thinking she was Katy Perry and others wowed by her new transformation. I realized how large of a story this was when the most recent @carnivalspice tik tok videos started trending on the app! There was a surge in understanding Caribbean Carnival culture, Jamaican culture and Black Culture. A few media outlets also reached out to me for my thoughts on the topic so I’ve summarized below:

Is Adele’s post cultural appropriation or cultural appreciation?

2020 has been a devastating year for the carnival community with most of the festivities being cancelled due to covid restrictions. Millions participate in carnival annually across the world and the culture welcomes all ethnicities, body types and genders to participate. When I first saw Adele’s post I immediately had it shared to the @carnivalspice instagram account. I was excited to see such a high profile artist showing love to a Caribbean Carnival. My excitement was less about her skin colour and more about the size of her platform. With one post she had the world talking about Caribbean Carnival. Ideally I would have loved for her to be in full carnival costume or wear pieces that were more cohesive. If she did that, the intention of her post would have been a lot stronger. The answer to this question is subjective though. I do understand some of the outrage  - especially with the climate of the world right now. Black people are oh so familiar with other racial groups being praised for things we have been doing for years… from fashion, to dance, to food and beyond. Carnival however is a space where I believe all should have the opportunity to revel in the energy that each masquerader contributes. Carnival is freedom, expression and unity. I do not think we uphold that mission if we exclude participation for white people. 

But what about the Bantu knots??????

Black hair styles were created with with Black hair texture in mind. Our hair requires different techniques to manage the thickness, richness, porosity etc and we do so in such creative ways. I personally do not have a problem with how anyone chooses to wear their hair. However, my issue is how society stigmatizes black hairstyles. When a black person wears their hair in bantu knots, braids, cornrows it’s deemed “unprofessional” “bad” “unkept” but when a white person wears the same style it’s a “trendy”, “cool” and accepted. Society is the problem not Adele. We all need to grow and get to a place where Bantu knots is considered just as “normal” as a ponytail. 

For centuries, Black people have had to navigate their hair in a world where Eurocentric standards is what is used to define beauty. From micro aggressions to painful perms and hot combs, the journey has been tough understanding our hair’s specific needs. Still we would not change a thing because our hair is an extension of our spirit. It allows us to display our style and individualism. Plus our hair provides the option to be as creative as we want to be.

I recently did a “big chop” - this is when a Black woman cuts off all their hair, which may have been chemically processed with perm or dye, so they can wear it in a more natural state. Click here to watch the cut live. This cut was one of the most invigorating moments of my life. Although I love my hair both long and short, the big chop helped me to release thirty plus years of history and energy and has granted me the opportunity to start a whole new journey. All of that to say, hair should be a form of self-expression.

With all that said what are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think she culturally appropriated or showing love to the carnival and the bawdies that have influenced her over the years? Do you even care? I understand if you feel that way too - there is so much happening in the world. Although I must say it’s great having Caribbean Carnival as a topic of discussion amongst the world.

[loveashley3]

Don't Judge Me For My Hair

Hello Again,

I was on Facebook the other day, and I saw a post from one of my friends that blessed my life. So, there’s this woman named Tiffany Jana. She’s an author, B Corp CEO, and Inc.com Top 100 Leadership Speaker. I saw this post from her yesterday:

It’s funny that I saw this on my timeline because I had been sick with a cold for the past week, and I’ve been unable to wash my hair. It’s to the point where if I flat ironed it, it would still look limp. I usually wash and deep condition my hair every week, but I haven’t been able to do that because I’m scared that I will get sicker. I’m much better now, but I’m still unable to wash my hair because I’m still stopped up, so I’ve been wearing headwraps. I’m a freelance fashion designer, and a remote stylist, but I’m also a college instructor. I was sick as a dog, but the only thing I was worried about was having a lecture about wearing a headwrap at my job. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. In fact, some of my students really liked my headwrap. Although I’m really happy about that, it’s nothing new for black women to be judged, or even policed because of our hair.

If you read my last blog, you know that a hotel manager wouldn’t even accept my application and resume years ago simply because of my hair. I also said that it’s not the first time something like that happened to me. I have so many stories that involved my hair. The first hair incident happened when I started my first job. The year was 2000, and the place was called Wendell’s. It was a family restaurant. A lady who was the head cook told my mom that I should apply, and since my mom had just given me my first car, I did. When I had my interview, I was wearing colored contacts, and my hair was black and passed my shoulders. Everyone was really nice, and I was hired immediately. Two days prior to my first day, I decided to change my hairstyle. I styled my hair in Zulu twists (two-stranded twists that’s styled like braids) in the front and curly in the back. This was my favorite go-to hairstyle, and it was an easy way to keep me from using heat to my hair. When I came into work, the (white) head server that was training me immediately said “OMG! You changed your hair!” She gives me a tour and tells me of my job duties. Afterwards, we took a break. As soon as we sat down, she says, “Ok…..your hair. It’s really nice, but you’re going to have to change it!” When I asked why, she told me that the owner (who is also white) wanted everyone to look the same. She continued that he wanted every young lady/woman to wear her hair down, or in a ponytail, and because of my hairstyle, I will stand out from everyone. I was pissed, but because I needed that job, I had to take my hair down. That hurt my heart, and it also made me realize that it would not be the last time it happened to me.

My hair is dyed blonde. I always wanted my hair blonde, so when I finally dyed it in college, I was happy! I always loved my blonde hair, but in 2011 while working at another place, one of my coworkers asked if I was told to dye my hair, how would I react. When I asked what did he mean, he said “well, if you were told to dye your hair brown or black, how would you feel?” I told him I’d quit. He looked shocked. He said, “Really? Over hair color?” I said, “Yes! I always wanted my hair this color, and I feel alive with it. For someone to tell me to change my hair color, that means they aren’t accepting me. My hair is a part of my identity, no matter what color it is, so for someone to tell me to change it, they’re basically trying to change me.” I found it odd that he asked me that, until I found out our boss was basically trying to make everyone to dye their hair jet black. She even made a girl take out her blonde weave. She didn’t say anything to me though (I guess she knew my mouth). I didn’t stay there long. A few years before that, my friend tried to get me hired at a high end retail store, but then she asked me if I could do something with my hair. She proceeds to tell me how high end this store is, and because I was natural and blonde, they may not hire me. I didn’t get hired. I was happy.

Flash forward to now. I have a short haircut, shaved on the side, and it’s still blonde. When I had my interview at my school, the only thing I thought was “I hope they don’t say anything about my hair.” I had everything type of qualification that was listed, but I was focused on my hair. I love what I do, whether it’s teaching or working for myself, but when I saw this post, it immediately brought back flashbacks on how I was judged simply for my hair. There are still reports where black women’s hairstyles are considered unprofessional. I also know of several black women who colored their hair, only for them to dye it black because it’s considered “ghetto.” Black women are still subjected to hair searches by TSA agents (https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a18666534/tsa-black-women-hair-searches/).

There are millions of hairstyles out there, and black women are very creative with their hair. So, why are we still judged by it? It’s 2019, and it’s time for this to stop. So, just like the post says, “My Hair Has Nothing To Do With the Ability To Do My Job.” Please stop judging me because of my hair. I’m more than that!

[witchesfamiliar79]

Be Who You Want To Be - With Exceptions

When I was younger, they told me I could be whatever I wanted.

I liked horses, and country music, and reading books. I rode my bike around our apartment buildings for fun. I did my homework dutifully every night. I guess, what I'm getting at, is that I was within their idea of ordinary. I wanted be a veterinarian when I grew up. So, they told me that I could.

But then, I changed; as every kid does when they grow up. My evolving took an alternative turn. My music tastes went to rock. I looked at purple hair styles, and facial piercings, and I wanted tattoos. I liked leather jackets and biker boots. I liked the chains hanging off my pant loops, and I wanted my room plastered in posters of my favorite rock bands.

I've never been more myself than when I have dyed hair, and my eyebrow piercing in and my hippity hippity death is on its way t-shirt on and aim wearing my black boots.

You can be anything you want to be, they had said. But suddenly, who I wanted to be wasn't on the cards.

The day I turned 18, I was told, you need to stop being a rebel and get serious.

No piercings, they told me, because they're unprofessional.

No tattoos, I was warned, because they're permanent.

You don't really want to dye your hair that color, do you? My dad asked. No one will take you seriously if you do.

Stop wearing those stupid punk clothes! My step-mom yelled. You're too old to be playing around anymore!

I've grown up in a lot a ways now; I turn twenty in a few months. And I've learned a very hard lesson in the meantime - true freedom is an illusion. You can be whoever and whatever you want - as long as it's within society's golden rules.

Oh sure, I can still get those tats, and I can still those piercings, and I can dye my hair. But if I did, I can forget being in a professional field. No one wants a vet with that many tattoos! A lawyer with a tongue piercing? Nah.

Because somehow, pieces of metal on my face suddenly reflect my work ethic, right? Because having my brothers name tattooed across my wrist is a sign of rebellion and disobedience, right?

When I was a kid, I was excited to grow up because I was told I could be whatever I wanted to be. And now, I wish I could back to being a kid.

You're not suddenly freed from your previous rules. The rules change, the regime you follow alters, but that freedom were promised as kids is gone. And it sucks, man. It really, really does.

[i-am-very-very-tired]

Monique Peterkin says:JANUARY 29, 2017 AT 4:44 PMREPLY

Exactly- this kind of thinking [shaming others hardcore because they have a different view period; be it hair, philosophy, belief, etc,] is and has been completely counterproductive, deleterious, and frankly, embarrassing. We are not a monolith*and there is no “real Black” mind or character. We really need to STOP IT. Where, oh where has it really gotten us as a people in the world? ##!% it.

Everything isn’t for everyone. I am relaxed and I’ve NEVER had anyone else’s hair in my head in my life. My hair is long (bra strap length) and healthy. I’ve never had a desire to go natural because I like the way my hair is when relaxed. My roller wraps and easy maintenance hair works for ME & my life & that my friend is how that works out. I will not apologize or be ashamed of MY choice for MY hair. I am team #CreamyCrack.

There are lots of things we do that aren’t ‘natural’. Do you wear make up? Thats not natural. When people wear braids the extensions they use aren’t natural. When people flat iron their natural hair thats not natural or when people wear weave and wigs over their natural hair- not natural either. Big Deal! People are so busy pointing the finger and telling other people what they should do or think that they don’t realise they are a bunch of hypocrites.

I disagree and can I give you an analogy and you may never agree but this is mine. People over time have used inventions to make their life easier doesn’t mean they don’t embrace their culture our heritage but they are doing things to.save time and effort. Ex. Pencil to typewriter to computer Records to cd to downloads For some not all healthy relaxed hair makes our lives more manageable and easier. I love natural hair but please respect me too and recognize that for me and my course hair it’s much easier.

Where “someone’s” hair means?? Oh pls… Its about time judging stopped!! Its the same hair ok? Jux that others prefer to relax it. And yes… Natural isnt for everyone means… Not everyone wants to keep their hair kinky or natural… Its jux hair ok!? Anyone has the right to do whatever!

Sometimes natural hair does not fit your personality or lifestyle. Its similar to how some people do not prefer their own hair color and choose to dye it.

I agree with you 100%. I think if it grows out your head it obviously is for you. lol Im natural and I don’t judge whether you make a decision to relax or not relax, i really don’t care what you do to your head. But what we’re not gonna do in these comments is say that natural “poofy” hair is “unprofessional”. That is the real issue. What is professional? Straight flat hair? I don’t like that stigma at all. And also side note, natural hair products typically are organic or healthy for your scalp most of the time. Relaxer literally burns your scalp and has your hair fall out if it’s in too long lol it can’t be that safe when used in the long term. But i’m not the one who is making the decision so who cares about my opinion anyway lol

Montia says:JUNE 12, 2016 AT 6:37 AM

REPLY

Hey Lauren,

I have been a home relaxer for years! Do you have any suggestions for beach hair or what to do to protect your hair at the pool? It’s vacation season so wanted a little product help!

Thanks Montia

Lauren says:JUNE 14, 2016 AT 9:35 AMREPLY

Hey!

I’ve heard that some women coat their hair with oil of deep conditioner before getting into the water – something about your hair soaking up the moisturizing product and not having enough room to soak up chlorinated water. Just be careful – wouldn’t want to have an obvious slick of oil behind you as you dunk in the water! If I know I’ll be in water a lot (i.e. vacation), I’ll put it into a protective style like Marley Twists or Box Braids. Hope that helps!

Pam says:MAY 30, 2016 AT 9:30 AM

REPLY

I’m so glad I read your post, I have been natural for 5’years now, I have seen some growth but not the amazing results that I expected. I also think my hair seemed much healthier when I had a relaxer, thank you for helping me realize that natural does not always mean better and since everyone’s hair is different you should do what works for you.

Fahyolah says:APRIL 11, 2016 AT 4:49 PM

Wow. I came across this post and your first paragraph alone had me! I am sick and tired of everyone portraying relaxed hair as the culprit of all hair problems. There is a way to have healthy relaxed hair and I dislike when I am made to feel guilty about my decision to keep my hair relaxed (I’m not “ashamed” of my natural hair, I just prefer it straight). Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting such a rare opposition in a world filled with individuals shunning relaxed hair!

Mesha says:APRIL 27, 2016 AT 11:54 AMREPLY

Wow! Im going through this now. Havent relaxed my hair in almost a year and its coming out, dry and hard to manage. I honestly dont see what all the hype is about natural hair. I guess its personal choice and the type of hair you have. Some people make natural seem easy but then their hair grade is “naturally” nice! My hair is coarse, dry, thick yet brittle and I hate that. Call it what you want, im Europeanized whatever im not with that and love healthy looking moisturized hair, im getting a perm asap!!!

[mbmdotlife]

What made me want to become natural?

I’ve always been told that I needed a perm to manage my hair. I was also always told by my family that natural hair doesn’t look good because it looks knotty, untamed, and unprofessional.

Before deciding to actually make the step to embrace my natural mane, I spent about a year watching people on YouTube such as Taren Guy, who was vlogging, and sharing her natural hair experience.  It later had me thinking, I wonder what my natural hair texture is. I had only seen what we call new growth in between perms, which seemed very soft and defined in some parts and course in others. This intrigued me. It made me want to transition. However, I never got the enough courage because my family would always feed me with doubts. It wasn’t until my sophomore year (2013/2014ish) that I decided to stop getting perms. I decided to make this decision because:

1)  Perms/ Relaxers/ whatever you choose to call it, were burning and drying out my scalp

2) I love color. However, the perm and color mixed was leaving my hair weak, damaged, and brittle.

3) I thought why do I care so much about what others say about the way God created my hair to be. Why do I shelter and alter who I am because if the opinions of others.

So Instead of doing the big chop I stopped getting perms for a year but wore my hair straight still. This is how I wore it below:

After a while the ends started to break off so I decided it was time to chop off the relaxed ends . The results are below. I got the lady to straighten and color my hair. But that was the biggest mistake that I could have made.

Side Note: One thing I’ve noticed is that many stylist are not trained and equipped to deal with natural hair. Stylists often think that how you care for one texture is how you care for all which is by no means true.

To say the least when I went to wash my hair my hair would not revert back. I was so frustrated I wanted to cry I had spent a year transitioning only to have to start over.

(I think what happened was my hair got over processed with heat and color. Also instead of using a flat-iron the stylist used the old school plates which I think was too much for my hair 😩😒.)

So I tried to wear it straight but I just wasn’t satisfied and wanted badly to be natural and embrace my curls so I decided to bug chop my hair again. The results are below:

I keep my hair like this for a while with shaved sides. Until I decided to let it grow out, within a couple of months to a year my hair began to flourish.

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Like always I started to get bored and decided to color my hair, purple. I have no pictures of this color.

Once I got tired of the purple, I decided to get protective styles to help my hair grow out longer. The photos below I was about a year and some change into regrowing my hair after my second big chop.

  After getting tired of protective styles and wanting to see what my real hair looked like I decided to get color and straighten my hair to see how long it had gotten. To my amazement it had grown a bid. You will see below:

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I was nervous to see if my hair would bounce back.  I went a Dominican shop, who are infamous for using the most heat the hair to get it straight. Once washing my hair my curls were a  limp in the front where I had gotten color, but all in all I still had my curls in the back. This was frustrating, I knew it was apt to happen. After about 8 months of much moisture my curls began to make a come back. One product that really helped my hair was OGX coconut milk conditioner. I also began to limit the amount of times that I shampooed my hair, and gave much attention to my scalp.

  One I reached THREE YEARS, I got the itch to try something new… So I decided to go fuchsia. I went to Salon Christol in Clinton Md (Sept 2016) to get my color done.

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Since, my experience at the salon  was a bit pricy so to maintain my color I used rinse dye. Once my roots started growing out I began to use Creme of Nature box dye. This eventually led my hair to be a fiery red instead of fuchsia. Below is my hair from Oct 2016- July 2017.

August of this year (2017) I decided to abandon the red and go dark blue I don’t have many pics other than this one. This picture doesnt even capture my true blue.  However I am still currently rocking the dark blue…

I can’t wait to continue my journey. I’m currently in the process of deciding if I should big chop my hair again due to heat and color damage. I will keep you all updated, If you all have any tips or want to share your story, please do in the comments. 

    My Natural Hair Journey What made me want to become natural? I’ve always been told that I needed a perm to manage my hair.

[i-am-very-very-tired]

April says:JUNE 20, 2016 AT 2:04 PMREPLY

Relaxed4life says:AUGUST 4, 2016 AT 10:11 PMREPLY

Azarmiah says:OCTOBER 5, 2016 AT 8:05 AMREPLY

Amor Amankwah says:OCTOBER 8, 2016 AT 4:47 PMREPLY

Touche! Well said! You hit the nail on the head.

Preach it beee!! Amen and A. men!!

If your natural you know that those styles help reduce tangles i personally dont wear them no reason i havent masterd them as of yet and and doesnt take nothing nut humidity and a wash to get you back to its natural state. Hey check out this video by angel ikyg called black women natural hair its not a bashing video he gives good reasoning to go natural if u feel the same way after watching the video then keep getting relaxers by all means because its your hair have a good day

Dude I always felt the same way. You manipulating your hair to get your curls a certain way says a lot.

Seriously why be so negative? Some people don’t like curly hair or braids but prefer straight hair. Quite frankly some women don’t look good with either hair style. Yeah one can argue that a black woman can achieve straight hair with natural hair but do you know how much more damage will occur than by doing relaxers. If you actually read this woman’s blog you would see her hair is healthy and relaxed. So stop hair shaming and accept the fact that people can have different hair styles and still have healthy hair.

Monique Peterkin says:JANUARY 29, 2017 AT 4:44 PMREPLY

Exactly- this kind of thinking [shaming others hardcore because they have a different view period; be it hair, philosophy, belief, etc,] is and has been completely counterproductive, deleterious, and frankly, embarrassing. We are not a monolith*and there is no “real Black” mind or character. We really need to STOP IT. Where, oh where has it really gotten us as a people in the world? ##!% it.

Everything isn’t for everyone. I am relaxed and I’ve NEVER had anyone else’s hair in my head in my life. My hair is long (bra strap length) and healthy. I’ve never had a desire to go natural because I like the way my hair is when relaxed. My roller wraps and easy maintenance hair works for ME & my life & that my friend is how that works out. I will not apologize or be ashamed of MY choice for MY hair. I am team #CreamyCrack.

There are lots of things we do that aren’t ‘natural’. Do you wear make up? Thats not natural. When people wear braids the extensions they use aren’t natural. When people flat iron their natural hair thats not natural or when people wear weave and wigs over their natural hair- not natural either. Big Deal! People are so busy pointing the finger and telling other people what they should do or think that they don’t realise they are a bunch of hypocrites.

I disagree and can I give you an analogy and you may never agree but this is mine. People over time have used inventions to make their life easier doesn’t mean they don’t embrace their culture our heritage but they are doing things to.save time and effort. Ex. Pencil to typewriter to computer Records to cd to downloads For some not all healthy relaxed hair makes our lives more manageable and easier. I love natural hair but please respect me too and recognize that for me and my course hair it’s much easier.

Where “someone’s” hair means?? Oh pls… Its about time judging stopped!! Its the same hair ok? Jux that others prefer to relax it. And yes… Natural isnt for everyone means… Not everyone wants to keep their hair kinky or natural… Its jux hair ok!? Anyone has the right to do whatever!

Sometimes natural hair does not fit your personality or lifestyle. Its similar to how some people do not prefer their own hair color and choose to dye it.

I agree with you 100%. I think if it grows out your head it obviously is for you. lol Im natural and I don’t judge whether you make a decision to relax or not relax, i really don’t care what you do to your head. But what we’re not gonna do in these comments is say that natural “poofy” hair is “unprofessional”. That is the real issue. What is professional? Straight flat hair? I don’t like that stigma at all. And also side note, natural hair products typically are organic or healthy for your scalp most of the time. Relaxer literally burns your scalp and has your hair fall out if it’s in too long lol it can’t be that safe when used in the long term. But i’m not the one who is making the decision so who cares about my opinion anyway lol

Montia says:JUNE 12, 2016 AT 6:37 AM

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Hey Lauren,

I have been a home relaxer for years! Do you have any suggestions for beach hair or what to do to protect your hair at the pool? It’s vacation season so wanted a little product help!

Thanks Montia

Lauren says:JUNE 14, 2016 AT 9:35 AMREPLY

Hey!

I’ve heard that some women coat their hair with oil of deep conditioner before getting into the water – something about your hair soaking up the moisturizing product and not having enough room to soak up chlorinated water. Just be careful – wouldn’t want to have an obvious slick of oil behind you as you dunk in the water! If I know I’ll be in water a lot (i.e. vacation), I’ll put it into a protective style like Marley Twists or Box Braids. Hope that helps!

Pam says:MAY 30, 2016 AT 9:30 AM

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I’m so glad I read your post, I have been natural for 5’years now, I have seen some growth but not the amazing results that I expected. I also think my hair seemed much healthier when I had a relaxer, thank you for helping me realize that natural does not always mean better and since everyone’s hair is different you should do what works for you.

Fahyolah says:APRIL 11, 2016 AT 4:49 PM

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Wow. I came across this post and your first paragraph alone had me! I am sick and tired of everyone portraying relaxed hair as the culprit of all hair problems. There is a way to have healthy relaxed hair and I dislike when I am made to feel guilty about my decision to keep my hair relaxed (I’m not “ashamed” of my natural hair, I just prefer it straight). Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting such a rare opposition in a world filled with individuals shunning relaxed hair!

Mesha says:APRIL 27, 2016 AT 11:54 AMREPLY

Wow! Im going through this now. Havent relaxed my hair in almost a year and its coming out, dry and hard to manage. I honestly dont see what all the hype is about natural hair. I guess its personal choice and the type of hair you have. Some people make natural seem easy but then their hair grade is “naturally” nice! My hair is coarse, dry, thick yet brittle and I hate that. Call it what you want, im Europeanized whatever im not with that and love healthy looking moisturized hair, im getting a perm asap!!!

Faith says:APRIL 2, 2016 AT 5:57 PM

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I also tried to go the natural route… this is my second year now, but my hair was honestly healthiest when I used to relax it. Now my natural hair just sheds so much and is super dit. regardless of what I do to it. My mind is made as I take off my braids in relaxing it. And shall be proudly rocking it.

Abigail Mai. says:APRIL 1, 2016 AT 11:21 AM

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I know this post its old but I feel like I need to post a comment lol. I’ve been natural for three years but things are getting out of hand now, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m glad I found this blog. I’m planning to relax my hair tomorrow and get a pixie cut. I’m so nervous. Nice post! Your hair is gorgeous!

I am at my 3 year mark as well and I’m fed up..smh when yu relaxed what relaxer did you use.

Lauren says:APRIL 7, 2016 AT 10:25 AMREPLY

Tips & materials before you relax your hair at home Relax your hair at home, by yourself, the RIGHT way! Dr. Miracle’s Feel It Formula Thermalceutical Intensive No-Lye Relaxer (Regular Strength)

So how did it go? Reading these comments, I think I have made up my mind. After almost 10 yrs of being natural, I hate it. It takes me up to 3 hrs to straighten it and it still looks a hot mess and all I can do is pull it back. I was looking at my pictures from college and I loved the relaxed look. So much easier in my opinion and my hands and arms don’t feel like they are going to fall off. Any pointers? I’ll prob just go back to the olive oil relaxer.

Kiki says:MARCH 24, 2016 AT 11:54 PM

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Natural isn’t for everyone! My hair broke in the center and both sides while shedding everywhere else. So I cut it down to where it broke, half of my shoulder length hair, to start all over again. I did one Aphogee treatment, then a week later, hit it with ORS relaxer, problem solved! A year and a few months later, my hair is back down on my shoulders. I’ll never go natural ever again! Moisturizing shampoos & conditioners are a must!

Molly

says:FEBRUARY 28, 2016 AT 6:10 PM

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Hi! In 2010 my hair fell out, and I spent the next year-and-a-half in weaves. 18 months later I’m natural and my hair is at my shoulders. It was pretty when straight, but would not stay. It would not hold a style. So I get a relaxer, and my hair starts shedding badly. (The bad reactions were caused my coconut oil as it made my hair dry and brittle, but I just found that out a few months ago) then I get psoriasis from an autoimmune condition so bad my scalp bleeds. So for another two years I stop relaxers. My hair kept shedding and getting dryer( too much protien) finally I went back to relaxers but only to loosen the curl. Now my styles stay. I’m still shedding from a chronic illness and the protien, but my hair is bra band length. Yesterday I went to a new salon, doctors orders, and the stylist said my “natural hair” is so healthy! And that I should let it all go natural. Well, none of it is natural! My ends are just straight because of a bad beautician. I relax my hair every four or so months to loosen the tightness and I love this method. Even the white girls raved after the beautician finished styling it. My hair when straight looks exactly like brand new weave, and I missed that when natural. I mean I could get it just as silky but it wouldn’t stay.. So texlaxsing is my ne strategy.

Lauren says:APRIL 5, 2016 AT 10:45 AMREPLY

I’m so glad you were able to find something that works for you , even with those challenges!

CAH says:FEBRUARY 8, 2016 AT 7:41 PM

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I’ve been natural off and on for over 10 years. This weekend I just texlaxed my hair because I wanted versatility. I wanted to be able to straighten my hair without all the excessive heat used when pressing natural hair but I also wanted to have a little texture left so I can still do my wash n’ go’s. It’s sad that we have to justify how we choose to wear our hair.

Deva says:FEBRUARY 2, 2016 AT 11:13 AM

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Thanks for this. I’ve never felt threatened with the thought of going natural. I’m texlaxed and have been my whole life. I can honestly say that although i enjoy the look of natural hair, I don’t have time for the maintenance. My relaxer has done me well and I’ll keep that chemical in my head for as long as I can.

Micah says:JANUARY 15, 2016 AT 9:13 AM

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I have been free from the creamy crack for 8 years but today I’m so over it I was frustrated with my hair was about to make an appointment for my hairdresser and I’m just like I’m so tired of this and then I said wait what am I trying to prove I’m going to go get me a relaxer and that’s exactly what I’m going to do! MY QUESTION is what relaxer should I use???? since it’s been so long I don’t want my hair to fall out

SincerelyAlexisJ

says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 5:16 AM

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Omg , I’m so upset that I just found this post . But I’m extremely happy at the same time ! This post and all the comments made me realize that it’s okay to keep my relaxed hair and not feel bad about it because everybody’s on this natural kick! I had THICK just above my shoulder length hair all my life(I’m 25 now). In August , I noticed my hair just wouldn’t get bone straight anymore when I relaxed it , went through 3 different perms and it just wouldn’t get straight. And because I have such thick and hard to manage hair, it would look like I still needed a perm. So I let my sister in law talk me into going natural(SMH!). The first two times she washed and flat ironed my hair(two weeks apart) , it looked nice . Then it kind of went down hill from there . My hair became SUPER thick , the thickest I had ever seen it before , I could not comb through it , it wouldn’t lay down , it was super dry no matter what I would put on it , etc . Then I noticed that when she would flat iron it , it started looking thinner and thinner.

Towards the ending of November I noticed the back of hair completely broke off ! My mom and I were so upset with what was going on with my hair so by the end of December , I decided to go back to my perms. I permed my hair for the first time since August on January 4th(last Thursday) and while I was in the shower A LOT of my hair was coming out in clumps. Not big clumps , but still they were noticeable clumps. After my protein treatment and deep conditioner , I blow dried my hair and saw that my hair had broken off in the middle of my head as well , not as bad as the back though. Also , when I was “natural” , when I would TRY to comb it , a lot of hair would be let left in the comb.

I’m very inclined to believe that all that heat that was being put on my hair caused a lot of damage, as well as it being soo dry. So I have to admit while I was natural that is when I noticed my hair started to fall out.

What do you think I should do to get it back healthy and growing again ? I’ve always had thick and dry hair and I’ve always done deep conditioners every week to retain the moisture , so I know that’s a given. But what else? Please help me , I’m miss my hair so much!

Adetomi says:MARCH 5, 2016 AT 7:36 PMREPLY

Cut the hair and start over. That’s the only way

Alexis says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 5:12 AM

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Omg , I’m so upset that I just found this post . But I’m extremely happy at the same time ! This post and all the comments made me realize that it’s okay to keep my relaxed hair and not feel bad about it because everybody’s on this natural kick! I had THICK just above my shoulder length hair all my life(I’m 25 now). In August , I noticed my hair just wouldn’t get bone straight anymore when I relaxed it , went through 3 different perms and it just wouldn’t get straight. And because I have such thick and hard to manage hair, it would look like I still needed a perm. So I let my sister in law talk me into going natural(SMH!). The first two times she washed and flat ironed my hair(two weeks apart) , it looked nice . Then it kind of went down hill from there . My hair became SUPER thick , the thickest I had ever seen it before , I could not comb through it , it wouldn’t lay down , it was super dry no matter what I would put on it , etc . Then I noticed that when she would flat iron it , it started looking thinner and thinner.

Towards the ending of November I noticed the back of hair completely broke off ! My mom and I were so upset with what was going on with my hair so by the end of December , I decided to go back to my perms. I permed my hair for the first time since August on January 4th(last Thursday) and while I was in the shower A LOT of my hair was coming out in clumps. Not big clumps , but still they were noticeable clumps. After my protein treatment and deep conditioner , I blow dried my hair and saw that my hair had broken off in the middle of my head as well , not as bad as the back though. Also , when I was “natural” , when I would TRY to comb it , a lot of hair would be let left in the comb.

I’m very inclined to believe that all that heat that was being put on my hair caused a lot of damage, as well as it being soo dry. So I have to admit while I was natural that is when I noticed my hair started to fall out.

What do you think I should do to get it back healthy and growing again ? I’ve always had thick and dry hair and I’ve always done deep conditioners every week to retain the moisture , so I know that’s a given. But what else? Please help me , I’m miss my hair so much!

Niquole Abram

says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 12:01 AM

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I love this post so much! One of my coworkers was formally relaxed and is now natural and for her it was the best thing ever. For me on the other hand, I know I will relax until I can no longer relax my hair. I’ve had it done since I was at least 8 years old, I’m 27 and I love how my hair looks after.

I took over the reins when I was 12 and can now apply it in less than 7 minutes. I may have timed it a few times… Haha! It’s so much easier to manage as well. I can tell when it’s almost time because I notice it’s harder to comb thru or brush in general and to wash. Once it’s been relaxed, I’m golden!

I spend less time fussing over my hair with it relaxed than if I were to go natural. I’m half black so I think my natural hair texture would be a 3c/4b combination? Afterwards it relaxes to a 2b wavy/surly texture if that. I have flat iron and a blow dryer although I can’t work the blowdryer to save my life and the Flatiron may used once or twice a month to check on my length or do a trim.

I’m determined to prove that just because my hair is relaxed, does not mean I can’t have long and healthy hair. I’m on my way to hip length right now, it was at chin length about 2 years ago and now it’s down to just past my bra strap.

When I tell people that my hair is actually relaxed their jaws drop, a reaction I will never get tired of! What I do to lessen the damage of the relaxer that inevitably gets on the length is I’ll coat that portion of my hair with coconut oil. It seems to provide a bit of a barrier between my hair and relaxer so it doesn’t damage the previously relaxed hair as much. Also with my last relaxer, I did a henna treatment that next day. My roots felt like normal.

You know after a relaxer your roots fill a bit of dry even a little straw like? After doing the henna it felt perfectly fine! I’ve noticed that weird texture seems to go away within a week or so and the henna treatment seem to speed up that process so I think I’ll do henna after I do my relaxer as well.

jada says:DECEMBER 20, 2015 AT 10:39 PM

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What do You do if You have a lot of Breakage an shedding? I haven’t had a perm in 2 months but i’m thinking about getting a perm because i want my hair to be straight an healthy. Do you have anything like Products to recommend for breakage, shedding and promoting hair growth ?

Chaka Khan

says:DECEMBER 16, 2015 AT 12:58 PM

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Thank you so much, I am a year and a half out with natural hair and I hate it. I agree it takes to long to get it how I like it and I feel it was much healthier, when I permed it. It grew much faster. I will be switching back after the first of the year. Thank you again for all the tutorials.

Kalisha Adams says:DECEMBER 9, 2015 AT 9:33 AM

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your hair is amazing and keep up the good work!

Lauren says:JANUARY 7, 2016 AT 12:11 PMREPLY

Thanks girl =)

V-Yella Westcoast

says:DECEMBER 2, 2015 AT 10:03 PM

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I agree with Lauren, you can have healthy straight relaxed hair. Straight hair is easier to manage.