#Why didn’ti think of that

[shupadoop]

holy fuck, is this the explanation I’ve been looking for?

Realizing the change in American food culture in my life time is largely due to the fact that nearly a third of adults smoked cigarettes at the year of my birth and that number has dropped to about 10% is something that is deeply obvious in retrospect but I also needed someone else to point out to me. Like, the nightmarish 50s cookbooks existed because nearly half of everyone regularly consumed an appetite suppressant that made you unable to taste or smell for shit. I remember some comedian saying that it was easy to be skinny in the 80s because everything tasted like shit. Or course it did. 40% of your restaurant clientele could't fucking taste it which greatly decreased the potential profitability of any eating establishment that was actually trying, thus affecting the standards even of people who COULD taste. Even if you didn't smoke, odds were someone in your household did and everything tasted like ash. It all makes sense now.

[edwarddidntdeserveher]

hm?

Hm??

❓

Does my muse trust yours?   

Yes 🥺

Does my muse dislike yours?

Not in the slightest but he saw the redacted redaction briefly and was panicked about it.

Would my muse kill someone for yours?

No but this is cutting it close.

Would my muse kill your muse?

No never.

Would my muse save yours? 

Yeah. Probably even if it put twikat in danger.

Does my muse find your muse attractive? 

Straight up no. Dave is like a discarded chip you find under your bed. It’s kinda funny it’s there but you wouldn’t eat it. If that makes sense. Why didn’tI just say he enjoys Dave’s presence actually.

Is my muse disgusted by yours? 

No. The mustache though? Yeah. He think mustaches are gross. Beard are on thin fucking ice.

would my muse go on a date with your muse?  

Probably not even if his relationship was open

would my muse kiss yours?  

No how many times do I need to talk about facial hair in this post!!

would my muse betray yours? 

Not on purpose.

my muse’s favorite thing about yours

He likes that he can just shoot shit at him and if he’s confused about the bit he feels comfortable asking like. Where are we going with this? Do you actually have an opinion about me doing this thing?

the thing my muse dislikes about yours

That he’s dating ichimatsu.

[therandomavenger]

The Sun and the Star and the 30-minute Ugly Cry

I almost didn’t post this, but a confessional blogging style is sort of my brand, so I thought: fuck it! You’re welcome.

               Yesterday, they released the cover for The Sun and the Star, which is Rick Riordan and Mark Oshiro’s Solangelo adventure they’ve been promising for a while. And when I saw it, I ugly-cried for thirty minutes. And my reaction surprised me, but I know the reason for it. If a book like this had existed when I was twelve years old, it might have changed the entire course of my life. Now, that might seem like an extreme statement, but it’s the truth.

               I didn’t have one positive example of a gay relationship growing up. Not one. All I knew about being gay was that it was an invitation to misery and death. And when I was twelve, I was obsessed with Greek mythology (there were signs, ok?) so I know I would have been obsessed with the Percy Jackson books. Hell, I kind of am as an adult. I’ve read all of them. So a book about Nico and Will having an adventure, a story about two teenage boys who just happened to be in love, would have blown my mind and introduced me to the idea that these things were possible. That maybe I was ok. Maybe I could have what I really wanted and the world would not end.

               But I didn’t have that. I didn’t even have a dream of it. I never thought about the possibility of having a boyfriend, I couldn’t even let myself imagine it. How sad is that? I didn’ty even have a fantasy of what I really wanted.

               So, that’s why I had that reaction. Because somewhere there is a twelve year old boy growing up like I did, who will read this book and be introduced to the idea that what he really wants is possible for him in a way that it never was for me.

               And after processing all of that, I got mad. Because this was such a simple thing that I needed, and no one would give it to me. Not my parents, definitely not my church, not my friends, not my family, not my gay relatives, not society. And I am so angry on behalf of that twelve-year-old kid who just needed to know that he was okay and was not  an abomination that God hated. And never getting any of that led me to putting myself in a box for 35 years. It led me to living a life where there was no hope that it would ever be ok to be my true self.  I believed for all of those years that if anyone ever learned the truth about me, they would hate me, and cut me out of their lives and I would be left with no one.

               I wanted a marriage and family so badly and there was only one way of getting that, at least only one way I could see for myself. So, I guess I was making rational decisions, given my options.

               So, when I saw that cover, my life flashed before my eyes. But it wasn’t my life. It was the life I could have had if things had been different, if I’d accepted myself twenty years earlier. A life where I might have met my true love and raised a family with him, instead of living a lie.

               I told my therapist this and she said the emotion I was feeling was grief, and wow is that true. Because now, even though I am out and happy and living as my authentic self, it feels like it might be too late for a lot of what I could have had. And I know that feeling isn’t rational. I know intellectually, that I am not that old and happiness is possible for me. But I also feel like I’ve lost a lifetime of experiences I could have had. And its hard to come to terms with that and forgive myself for it. And forgive the people in my life for never giving me what I needed. It was a different world.

               My parents accept me now, but if I’d had this conversation with them in 1985 I don’t think they would have. And I have no doubt that if I’d come out in my high school, I would have been beaten to death.

               But if I’d had just a glimmer of hope that things could have been different … it would have made all the difference in the world. But they weren’t different, and I made choices based on those circumstances.

               So, yeah, I know this is just a book cover and maybe doesn’t deserve the emotional weight I am giving it. But I am grateful it exists and I want to travel back in time to give it to my 12-year-old self.   

originally published on chadgrayson.com

[naehja]

Well even if Baal doesn't really care, there are “levels” of not caring.

He has been present and showed enough care to be loved by Sylvia and Sabro.

Looks like he’s happy to see Baal

I mean at a point, Baal tried to put Sabro in his plans, when he proposed to to recommend him as candidate like Iruma, Levi Leiji and Belial-Berry Razberry have been recommended  by Sullivan, Belial and Lady Levi.

Sabro refused but i think that Baal really tried to inclue his nephew in his plans. It would benefit him, of course, since Sabro trusts him, likes him and would likely listen to him. He clearly tried to manipulate him. But it doesn't mean that he doesn't care about Sabro. He must appreciate him, in his own twisted ways.

His brother, Sabro’s father says

He knows that something isn't right about his brother. He KNOWS. But I don't think that he knows until where Baal is ready to go or what he has already did. But he knows that he isn’t good for his chlidren. He has no proofs but he knows.

I think that Baal 90% (more 95%) manipules Sabro and 10% (more 5%) cares.

Meaning that if Baal didn’ty really care, even a little, both Sylvia and Sabro would have noticed that something was off. well maybe not Sylvia who is still a kid but Sabro starts to be really observant.  

 Also Sabro and his sister aren't idiots, I mean Sabro looked like a idiot at first but he's clearly not. He’s still determined to be the demon king (by himself, that’s why he refused to be recommanded even knowing that being recommended gives a real chance) and he doesn’t hold a grudge toward Iruma for have this advantage.

I knows that during the Kirio Arc at school, Sabro WAS here and COULD have been severely hurt or killed. Maybe the strongest students could have survived but nothing says that Sabro would have, even with his power to create weapons and shields. That’s the weak point of my theory that Baal cares even a little.

For Walter Park, well Baal has already prepared his plan to free Kirio and didn’t know that Sabro would be here.

For the Harvest Festival, Orobas stayed away of Sabro. And we notice that, like by hazard, Baal's accomplice was here to manipule him. I know he was here to have informations about Iruma but still, Orobas stayed away of Sabro.

And for the Heart-Breaker?

Well first Atori got too far from the very beginning. Sabro gave him too much resistance. I think that Atori forget that it was his boss's nephew during the fight. (or it’s WHY he did that to Sabro, because Baal has been a asshole boss with him?)

 Baal MUST know how much it's dangerous to go into wicked phase for their family. After all Sabro has been only ONE time when he speaks about it with Balam. Baal must know that too.

And Atori was ready to make Sabro succombs deeper in his wicked phase. It could have had horrible consequences. Sabro was severely hurt during this fight too. I’m not sure that he could have died but Atori was ready to kill Allocer so he COULD have killed Sabro if Balam didn’t come.

I’m not sure that Baal would have appreciated what Atori did to Sabro. The consequences for him would have been more bads than goods if Balam didn’t come to save Sabro. 

Maybe he doesn’t care THAT much for Sabro, maybe he cares just a little, as long as it doesn't interfere with his plans and his situation. Maybe he’s the guy who is like “I was ready to sacrifice him this day (school festival) but how dare you tried to kill him when I have nothing to win behind that?'

I don’t know, Baal is stil a mistery. He’s a asshole who manipules people, right, but outside that, we know almost nothing about him.

What do you think?

Atori, maybe you shouldn’t tell him what you almost did to his nephew.