#Yes I'm aware I said universal Universal Basic Income.

[patchoulol]

re:how does quark stay in business - I think having control over the station's holodecks and having a gambling floor play a major role in it. though something I think the berman era struggled with in general was explaining how for profit businesses could continue to exist in a universe with replicators and they tried out a few different answers for that across TNG, DS9, and VOY

I'm reminded even Quark thinks he should abandon the bar when the Federation takes over. He does get maintenance and power from Starfleet for free, despite constantly charging them for things back, which is probably part of the deal Sisko begrudgingly gave him to help keep the local economy from collapsing. It's likely he installed the holosuites as private property from the start under the occupation, but that doesn't mean it necessarily makes sense Starfleet never sets up its own holodecks for military and scientific use since they aren't strictly recreation only.

Star Trek Online was considered canon up until PIC came out because PIC's writing disrespected everything before it and does have Federation energy credits to latinum conversions. I think it would make sense if Starfleet officers were technically always rationed energy with foreign currency conversions, just that it took the situation on Voyager for the personal limits to become small enough to come up in conversation. They phrase it as not getting paid or needing to amass wealth, but they probably have some weird energy based UBI equivalent system going on universally.

In TNG the sheer distance helps things make sense, not everyone has access to a Galaxy-class starship with 20-something holodecks and replicators in every room and their warp speed has a hard technological limit. Some materials can't be replicated and certain sizes of materials require industrial replicators. If a world doesn't have a stable energy solution yet then running these things as casually as Earth or Starfleet does would become impractical. Voyager fudges the resource count between episodes (have fun counting torpedoes) but for the most part the energy rationing makes more sense as an economic basis than anything we've seen in the rest of Star Trek. It seems mostly established that the Federation will provide for all your needs barring logistical issues but you might be on your own for recreation and hobbies depending on location, meaning you can't ever go using so much energy other people can't eat or run necessary equipment and that amount varies between places, which means the value of energy itself varies between places along with all things you could replicate with it. (...but if you pay attention too much, the warp times stop making sense especially in the movies, but just don't pay attention too much!)

[quantumconfidence]

The Stigma Of The Trophy Wife & Why I'm Proud To Be One

Trophy wives and the never ending stigma... So much to say and so much to address. In this blog post as you read it in the title is all about why being a trophy wife (TW) is what I was meant to be. And most probably who you're meant to embrace too.

Keep reading Sister.

First of let me start with this mini clip...

This is all self explanatory to me and many other women who believe in hypergamy. The natural selection and order of things for women who desire to be married to a masculine man.

There's SO many negative cliche about being a trophy wife. The main one being a pretty air-head married to a rich old guy waiting to die so she can inherit all his assets and money.

And then you hear everyone around you saying things like: "why do you want to depend on a man? beauty doesn't last forever and some day he will replace you with someone hotter and younger"

But to me this is coming from such a small minded and scarcity point of view. These idea are filled with lack of everything.

There's SO, so, so much more than this about thinking of yourself as a TW!

Let's address a few of these points though because that is very important.

The "pretty air-head" Idea:

Who said that beautiful women were air-heads?

Just like everyone in this world, God has created each one of us, and you, with a special gift that NOBODY will ever provide like you do it. And that's a FACT.

I personally have worked for the largest and most successful companies in the world during my corporate career. As a people manager in technical supports, and I was VERY successful. These are definitely NOT the type of jobs or accomplishments an air-head would ever reach.

(If you're reading my blogs for the first time, Hello, My name is Mrs Queen and I'm the proud owner of this eCommerce business.)

And so, since when do we have to chose? I mean, hello scarcity mindset!

How being attractive, and maintaining your physical appearance ever kept you from being knowledgable and intelligent?

The "You'll always have to look pretty for him to stick around" Idea:

I cannot explain how this idea to me is SO basic, and SUCH a poor mindset!

Whom ever said that, clearly DOEN'T understand what makes a man marry you, when he truly believe that you're the woman of his dream. Or what makes a man stay with you for the rest of his life. So I'm going to spell it out loud, and preach. I hope you're ready?

First of all, a man stay kept if HE wants to stay kept. That has nothing to do with you but let's not ignore the following because these are contributing factors.

As a woman you're a WHOLE soul and PACKAGE by yourself. You do NOT ever or ever had to be with anybody to complete you. EVER. let me say it again, never, EVER.

And men DO understand that. They're looking and craving for that ENTIRE package. They want to experience it they want to live in it, forever and ever. This is literally their number one reason of living and striving in this world.

Yes, their MAIN reason to be alive. I'm not exaggerating.

What package am-i talking about?

Ok let's start with the obvious one:

1/ Your beauty. 

yes your face and body. And all appearances are appreciated in this world.

If you're thinking "high maintenance" and or "too exhausting" let me tell you the following very simply.

The way you care and take pride in your appearance has NOTHING to do with a man.

Never. EVER.

It has however EVERYTHING to do with how YOU, my sister, honor and love yourself. It's your way of respecting and glorify God's creation of you.

And if a man (your husband) gets to enjoy the perks too, that's his luck.

So don't allow laziness, or misconceptions to twist your mind. Taking care of yourself, and maintaining yourself is your godly duty as a woman. Let me say it again, it's self love and self respect.

Then,

2/ Your Feminine ENERGY. 

I'm literally talking about how your presence makes him feel. Have you ever had a phone conversation or just met someone and the tone of their voice, their smile gave you goose bumps and elevated your energy right away?

Making you smile, and feel warmer inside? That's what I'm talking about. Some people have the power to project their amazing energies into you and make you feel amazing in split-seconds. Everyone is of course different but the ones who love you, DO feel the energy of your soul.

And masculine men CRAVE for the feminine energy. The loving, the kind, the healing, the peaceful, resting, warm energy. They NEED you to be fully immersed into it, and let him join you into it.

They will do and pay anything to help you sustain and protect this beautiful environment. And it starts with the place you live in. Your body (back to point 1). Then your home. and the rest of your universe.

3/ Your RESPECT for him: This goes way deeper than the way you love him. Men will ALWAYS prefer being respected than being loved if they had to chose between the two. If you haven't read them, check out these books:

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

5 Love Languages

These are most definitely books that WILL drastically improve your relationship for the better. Feminism has us fooled with many ideas, and yes I'm fully aware that this movement gave the western woman many rights, and I'm not talking about this.

The movement also pushes women to violently disrespect men in MANY different ways, on a daily basis. Making you believe that it's a synonym of empowerment. It's not, it truly isn't. It's the number one key to ending your days living in an apartment with hundreds of cats.

4/ Your brain & your drive:

Masculine men do not want air-heads anyway. They want smart driven women who know how to balance all the things stated before and their lives.

A woman who can literally put all this shit together. HER shit together I should say to be more exact. DO not try to rule his life. That's HIS job. Not yours.

A masculine man wants to lead most of the times. LET him. If you believe and trust him, this won't be hard for you to do.

If not, and I mean if you deeply believe that your man cannot lead the way in your relationship, then you probably chose the wrong kind of man for you. It's never too late to find the right one.

Please note: These points ARE the WHOLE package and aren't in any particular order. One doesn't compensate for the others. ALL, meaning EACH one of them are part of the whole package that is you.

So what's a TW then?

It's in masculine men's nature to want to provide, it DOES NOT mean that you shouldn't have your own. As a matter of a fact it is crucial that you have your own AND let him provide.

One idea that I love the most in Islam, is that it is clearly stated that a man has to provide for his household and his wife's need. Only then a woman will submit to him and respect him fully. She can however have her own sources of income and decides if she wants to participate in the household spendings OR not.

Other religions have similar ideas too.

A TW is literally what ever you want to be. But most importantly she KNOWS how to be the most unique version of herself. And that IS ENOUGH.

But then what if you just do NOT want to work?

It took me a while to come up to a very simple realization. And that's because while growing up my mother always pushed me to "be independent". And to this day she still does.

I had to pounder very deeply on these things.

First of all, your value as a woman does NOT depend on what you can "bring to the table". It never was and never will.

Your value does NOT depend on how productive you can be. How much money you can earn, how much achievements you can reach. NONE. OF. THAT.

You are WELL worthy of being loved and taken care of, and just simply existing because you do. period.

Let me say it differently. You were born WORHTY. There's NOTHING that you have to do to be worthy. Your man, husband should know and appreciate that at it's right value.

You are NOT a financial burden. You ARE valuable, without having to do or achieve ANYTHING.

Your value is in you BEING you. Going back to the "whole package" idea.

Is this laziness?

I know these days if a woman doesn't want to work, she's labelled lazy. It's not. It's about understanding that the "whole package" is contribution in itself. It's HIGHLY valuable.

As I said, it's a man's reason for living, so he can experience that "package" with you.

But the scriptures say that you have to be a hard working woman at home or an active member of the society....

Yes. And you already are. Directly or indirectly. A woman who lives in her "whole package" vibe is an inspiration of everyone around her. That's her CONTRIBUTION to the world if she feels that it's enough. So it is. And there should be no room for shaming this.

And the ones shaming these women, are the ones who don't understand what I just wrote about.

The idea of "Keeping your independence"

I cannot believe how much I have been SO stubborn in grasping, holding on SO damn hard on my "independence"....

As mentioned growing up that's something my mom kept on repeating to me. That's because her marriage to my father was far from being exemplary. And I get her from those circumstances.

Let me remind you if you had a mom like mine, you are NOT your mom and your husband is NOT your father. Therefore your marriage and experience with it ARE NOT the same.

My simple question to you is: Why would you want to feel "independent"? How does being married truly makes you feel? Trapped in any ways?

I pondered so hard on this one. As a married woman I DO NOT want to be independent. I am married. Independence is the complete opposite of marriage.

Do you want independence still? Then be single! you'll have plenty of independence.

Marriage and being a wife truly requires from you to completely abandon your maiden self. That's only then that true union is ever possible. Marriage is two people coming as one. If you have found a husband that you love and loves you back, you won't need to feel independent.

We very often take love and relationship advice from women who are still wounded. My mom for example is currently single.

And the teaching she can ever pass on me are the ones of a woman who's been through three failed marriages. That's precisely why I do NOT take marriage advice related to "staying in a successful marriage" from her.

Who have you been listening to so far? Are they in the type of marriage that you aspire to be in? If not, then I invite you to reframe your way of thinking around what they taught you to believe.

The "he will go for someone younger" idea:

Ok, yes that happens, because some relationships aren't meant to last forever. But who says YOU won't do that before he does?? Or leaving him for a better option? Who will treat you better if your current one starts tripping? THAT right there is the TW mindset.

Because you know your value, and the value of being the "whole package".

Your aging DOES NOT diminish your worth or value. It does NOT. The way you perceive yourself is the ONLY factor that can have that effect ladies. Not a man. Not what your mom would say. Or what your "friends" who mean "well", or your community members will say.

NONE. OF. THAT.

It's you vs YOU.

So why wouldn't you feel proud to FULLY be your own FULL package anyway?

You can have it, so flaunt it for you, for God, and your (future) lucky hubby sister.

Popular Reads:

How To Preserve Your High Value & Feminine Energy During A Crisis

How Dressing More Feminine Will Change Your Life

Save It On Pinterest

[qqueenofhades]

Hi there. I've been scrolling through your "school stuff" tag but thought I'd ask directly - how did you find the transition to actually moving outside of the U.S. for your PhD? I'm looking at something similar and I'm wondering about your experience with the logistics (finding somewhere to live, visa, etc!). Thanks in advance, and congrats on being a doctor!

Oh lord. Why would you do that to yourself? I feel like that tag is mostly just intense kvetching, bogglingly obscure nitpicking complaints, and existential despair, and/or yelling at various institutions and/or people who could not do their god damn jobs. If you have read that and still actually want my advice, I salute you. I’m presuming you’re asking in regard to the UK, since it’s the only experience I can speak on, so hopefully that’s applicable?

In my case, I studied in the UK for a year as an undergraduate, at Oxford, so I was already familiar with the process (at least somewhat) when it came time to do it again for the PhD. Upfront, we must acknowledge the ugly deformed rabid elephant in the room that is Brexit, and the idiotic reform of UK immigration policy currently ongoing. Long story short, they seem to think they can function without low-skilled migration, that the domestic UK workforce will just happily lark off to do the jobs that working-class EU migrants have been doing, that this won’t totally bomb-crater the NHS, that they can run a country by basically only allowing in PhDs in STEM making over £30,000 a year, etc… so yes, this is a complete joke of an immigration policy and it’s what happens when you elect floppy haired xenophobic douchewads and their nightmare party as prime minister! ANYWAY, they’re introducing a points-based system from 2021, which may not affect you for an application under Tier 4, but UK immigration policy is going to have a lot of very stupid reforms and you’ll want to keep on top of those. If you have an offer in hand from a UK university, it is made somewhat easier, but you’ll still need to budget for processing costs, an NHS subsidy paid in for every year you will be there (something like $300/year), and a trip to a UK visa office to have your fingerprints and biometric information taken. If you don’t live near one, that will be travel expenses and so forth. You then have a temporary visa issued for first entry into the country, and a Biometric Residence Permit which you pick up at your university.

That, at least, was the process the last time I applied for a student visa, and it may all have changed by the time you do it. As noted, there are a lot of upfront visa costs, so you’ll want to be aware of those. You need a number of supporting documents, including offer of study, proof of income or ability to financially support yourself (since most Tier 4 visas either don’t let you work or only work a limited number of hours), proof of English proficiency (as a native English speaker/person from an English-speaking country, you won’t need this), and so on. You can’t start the process before you have the offer, but you’ll want to start it as soon as possible afterward, because it can take several months, and obviously needs to be done before you can travel. You will also want to open a UK bank account as soon as you arrive, which can be done once you have your residential address and a certificate from the student services office at your university verifying that you are in fact a student there. It’s pretty difficult to pay out of non-UK accounts, at least for monthly/recurring transactions, and there are international fees. You will also want a UK phone. I still have my UK phone/phone number despite my current hiatus in America, since most carriers offer free or low-cost roaming in Europe (though subject to change with EU trade negotiations), which is nice. I pay only a little extra to have Global Roaming in North America, so I can still use my phone as if I’m in the UK. If you’re planning to be traveling, this is a nice perk to have.

As far as finding programs goes, I’m sure I don’t need to give you advice on what you’re interested in and where you’re looking. Obviously, universities in the UK are grouped as “Oxford and Cambridge” and “everyone else,” though there are also rankings within those. I have been at both of these; Oxford as an undergrad, and then I did my PhD at a large public university in the North that ranks within the top 10 in the UK. The North will be much lower, living-cost wise (actually, if you can swing it, just… don’t do it in London, the cost of living in London is out of control. Of course, if the program you really have your heart set on is in London, then go for it, but just be aware of what you’re getting into). It’s also a rule of thumb that you don’t go anywhere for a PhD unless they’re paying you. Don’t self-fund a PhD, it’s just too expensive, and any decent university will give you some kind of financial stipend. I had a scholarship that covered three years of full tuition at international rate, which was good, though I had to take out some living-cost loans. So if you’re trying to decide between two programs that have both accepted you, a situation I was also lucky enough to be in, it sounds crass, but: take the money. One university had already offered me the tuition/scholarship, while the other had accepted me but wasn’t sure about funding. So I took the one that paid the scholarship. You need every penny you can get. You will be comically, absurdly, unbelievably broke as a graduate student. I was looking back on it like “wow I really lived for four years on BUTTFUCK NOTHING.” It is not for the faint of heart; you will have financial stress along with academic pressure, and while I was lucky enough to have generous friends and family contributing to my living costs, I still barely scraped through. It is something you should be aware of.

I don’t know if you’ve studied in the UK system before (I’m assuming not), but the structure for a PhD is much less determined than in the American system. It will also vary from university to university, so it’s worth establishing contact with a potential faculty supervisor to ask questions and refine your project proposal. I made contact with my eventual supervisor at my PhD university before I actually applied there; I gave him my (much too broad and pretty unrefined) project proposal and what I was interested in, and he helped me tailor it into something that could be done in a feasible time frame and which would make use of his expertise and contribute to the field. Whatever you’re thinking about pitching as a thesis topic, you probably need to make it more specific. I don’t know what field you’re in; I’m a humanities/history person, obviously, so the rule always seems to be WRITE MORE, INFIDEL. But the point is, the UK system has much less structured time, and basically relies on you to have the self-motivation to go out and conduct the research and write it up, and if you’re someone more used to rigid requirements and classes and so forth, you might find it a little hands-off. If you’re like me and can just be set loose in your field of interest and do your own thing, you’ll like it. I feel like anyone who is serious enough about their subject to want to do a PhD has to be primarily self-motivating, but some people function better with clear guidelines, and those are not always forthcoming. I can’t count the number of times I wished my supervisors would just TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK TO DO, but they usually highlighted something and had me work to figure out how exactly to fix it. They weren’t negligent or uncaring or unsupportive, and the project became much better as a result, but yes, it’s on you to do, and it can again be frustrating.

As far as living, I didn’t try to rent a flat from afar, sight unseen, in my first year. I just registered for postgraduate campus housing, and lived with four predictably horribly messy roommates (why???!) before I managed to escape and rent a private flat for the next three years. You will need a guarantor with a UK address (i.e. not your parents in America) to sign on the lease agreement, especially if you fall below a certain income threshold, and go through the usual background checking and approval. If you want to have the place to yourself, it will be, as noted, much cheaper to find something you can afford in the North and not-London in general, though southern England and the London commuter belt will all be expensive. If you’re okay living with roommates, or you make friends during your program, it might work to room together and share costs, but I am a pathological introvert and don’t like people, so I lived by myself. 

Anyway. Right now, I am in the second round of applications for a Big Deal UK postdoctoral award, which would be for three years starting this fall if I got it, at another high-ranking large public university in the south of England. (So yes, everything that I just said about how much it costs to live in London/London suburbs is me playing myself). I would be applying for a Tier 2 visa (i.e. the permanent/settlement track/full-time work visa) if I got this, which would be another barrel of laughs and different requirements from a Tier 4. That is definitely unhatched chickens which we can’t count yet, as this is a highly competitive/prestigious award and there is absolutely no guarantee that I would get it, but it would mean that I would go through the international moving/visa application process for a third time, so I would once again become too unfortunately familiar with whatever bullshittery is happening now. Le sigh.

I don’t know if any of that is helpful; hopefully so. Let me know if you have more questions, and good luck.

[optomstudies]

How can I tell a friend to stop making snide comments about me going to uni? I usually never mention uni when we're together which is hard since I don't have a life outside of it. I also don't say anything about her choices (she dropped out in yr11). But she's made comments about how I'm drowning in debt but I just laughed it off (we're in Aus tho, not US). What's worse is when her boyfriend said in verbatim "uni is a waste of time" (says the unemployed one who paid $80 for a steak)

Wow I find this so funny because most of the time people who don’t have a university degree get scoffed at instead of the other way around! 

I’m sure that you suspect why she’s so bothered about you going to university is basically because she’s got a massive inferiority complex over her own education, or is worried about job chances without a degree or has possibly even been turned down from a job in favour of someone else who does have a degree. 

That’s if she’s self aware LOL If they’re not even self aware, then they’re just purely thinking “lol hur dur she’s so stupid studying an extra few years when she could be making money like me lol why would you want to go to more school hur dur i’m too cool for school YOLO”

I’ll take your word that she’s a friend (although I would kind of question it if she’s hardcore judging, like actually judging you for going to university; judging others’ life choices is disrespectful in any case). If she’s a friend you can kindly explain to her that university is #worthit because of a number of fabulous reasons. 

Firstly, don’t let the words at their core get to you. Yes, be frustrated at the fact that your friend is saying something negative, but don’t ever for a second believe that going to university as a whole concept is a bad. Sure, there are definitely cases where studying a degree does not net a job in the industry people are aiming for, but it’s usually multifactorial and due to job shortages within the industry independent of the degree itself. 

Secondly, studies have shown that graduates make a lot more than their non-tertiary-degree-attaining peers. 

For women, the median bachelor-degree holder earns roughly $800,000 more in a lifetime than the average year 12 graduate who completes no further study. For men, the lifetime income gap between a bachelor degree and year 12 is $1.1 million. 

These stats are from the Grattan Institute Report (wow that gender pay gap is sad though D:). So no, university is not a waste of time by far. For a few years, (during which you meet very intelligent and passionate like-minded people like yourself and learn critical thinking skills) you’ll be attaining a higher salary. 

Not only do you earn more and learn more, but people respect you more. The jobs you can work in with a university degree are all professional positions, e.g. being a health professional, engineer, scientist, educator, etc. I would hate to be friends with anyone who is disrespectful to someone else based on their occupation, but it’s immature of your friends to think that entry level jobs (by definition jobs which require Certificate I or secondary education) do not face a level of disrespect from some members of the community. Working as a part time optical assistant, I had people who didn’t believe me when I told them something about glasses care and maintenance (do not clean your anti-reflective coated glasses with rubbing alcohol), but when the optometrist walks in and tells them the exact same thing, all of a sudden they’re religious proponents. It’s not just me but plenty of my classmates as well. 

tl;dr you can explain to your friends that you’re going to university to: 

learn more

earn more

expand and improve your job chances

meet interesting people

get more respect

But you know, chances are you’ll tell them all the facts (nicely, or, rudely if you snap one day) and they’re not going to listen or not going to care. Why would they when it makes them feel bad about their own situation? You just do you! :)(pls excuse me whilst bangtan’s hustling pops into my head)