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postdispatchnews · 10 months ago

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Xera Pro crypto scam: the collapse of the mega Ponzi scheme and the birth of Homnifi

Xera Pro was launched in Dubai in January 2024, representing a merger of three previous Ponzis: Safir International (also known as Neo ZenTech), Success Factory and The Blockchain Era (known as WeWe Global, LyoPay, LyoTrade and LyoWallet). The people behind these failed schemes have taken key roles in Xera Pro’s training team. Prominent names include:

Henk Diepbrink: General Manager of Xera and former General Manager of Safir.

Werner Kaiser: Global Vice President of Xera, member of Safir’s Circle of Trust and Ponzi promoter of Lyoness.

Diego Endrizzi: Head of global sales at Xera and promoter of WeWe Global and The Blockchain Era.

Gorka Buces: Chief Visionary Officer of Xera and former CVO of Ponzi Xifra and Decentra.

Nils Grossberg: Head of global partnerships at Xera, founder of Ponzi DagCoin and Success Factory.

Following a fraud alert in Australia, issued on 23 April 2024, Xera Pro began showing withdrawal problems as of 15 July 2024. On the same day, the company announced a ‘service upgrade’. Subsequently, on 3 August 2024, Xera Pro declared a restart under the new name Homnifi.

Rebranding in Homnifi

Homnifi was registered on 10 June 2024 on the domain homnifi.com and presents itself as an offshore company based in the British Virgin Islands. However, all operations are managed from Dubai, continuing the Ponzi model of Xera Pro. Prominent personalities behind the new brand include:

Gorka Buces: Now promoted to co-founder of Xera Pro.

Jose Gordo: Ponzi OneCoin promoter, involved in WeWe Global and The Blockchain Era.

Wener Kaiser: Downgraded from Global Vice President to Customer Relations Specialist.

Charbel Zalaquett and Goran Hemstrom: Imports from The Blockchain Era and WeWe Global.

The products of Homnifi

Homnifi offers passive returns through the LayerK mining and Quantwise trading bot. Investment options vary depending on the package purchased:

Homnifi MiniMax: Investment up to $1000 in LayerK and $500 in Quantwise.

Homnifi AirStream: Up to $5000 investment in LayerK and Quantwise.

Homnifi Breeze: Investment up to $15,000.

Homnifi Cyclone: Investment up to $45,000.

Homnifi Dynamo: Investment up to $100,000.

Homnifi Elevate: Investment up to $250,000 in LayerK and unlimited in Quantwise.

Homnifi Flash: Unlimited investment in LayerK and Quantwise.

A system of ‘supernodes’ is also mentioned, promising returns of 2% to 10%.

Homnifi’s compensation plan

Homnifi’s compensation plan is based on sales of access to the LayerK mining services and the Quantwise bot. Fees are paid on several levels, following a binary model. Here are the main details:

Referral Commissions: 10% commission on each recruited affiliate.

Residual Commissions: Weekly payments calculated based on the volume of new commissions in the binary team. The earnings limit varies from $1,000 to $125,000 weekly, depending on the membership level.

Homnifi also offers a Matching Bonus based on a tier system, paying a percentage of the residual commissions earned by recruited affiliates, as well as a Global Bonus Pool, which distributes 3% of total revenue among the highest-ranking members.

Finally, affiliates can earn recognition bonuses based on their level advancement. Rewards range from gift cards up to houses worth $360,000 for members at the highest level, Royal Crown Diamond.

The Origins of LayerK and WalleK

Another person involved in Homnifi is Erwin Dokter, who is connected to LayerK and WalleK, which form the cryptographic part of the Ponzi model. Dokter is also involved in Ponzi Safir International and Zeniq Coin. The inclusion of LayerK is crucial in the new scheme, as the token LYK, created by LayerK, represents digital currency issued without any intrinsic value. This Ponzi model sees investors ‘bagholding’ the LYK token, which will inevitably lose value as the scheme collapses.

Omnifi in the market context

According to SimilarWeb data, Xera Pro saw a significant decrease in web traffic, with approximately 44,000 visits per month in July 2024, down 16% from the previous month. The countries with the most traffic were Germany (61%), Australia (10%) and Italy (8%).

Homnifi, at its launch, recorded far fewer visits, with only 457 per month. This suggests a significant reduction in interest in the project, reflecting a potential decrease in new investors.

Conclusion

Homnifi, born from the ashes of Xera Pro and its predecessor Ponzi schemes, continues to operate in violation of securities regulations, with its operational headquarters in Dubai and a multi-level marketing (MLM) system that follows the Ponzi model. However, evidence suggests that interest in the scheme is in sharp decline, with a possible closure in the near future.

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xerapro-scam · 1 year ago

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Xera Review: Three collapsed Dubai scams form mega Ponzi

Collapsed MLM crypto scams Safir International, Success Factory and The Blockchain Era, have grouped together as Xera.

The reboot was announced on January 24th, and revealed at an in-person marketing event in Dubai.

Before we get into Xera, here’s a rundown of the three collapsed scams it’s made up of:

Safir International was a Ponzi scheme built around Zeniq Coin.

Last month My Neo Group, a Monaco outfit headed up by founder and CEO Mickael Mosse, announced it had acquired what was left of Safir.

My Neo Group rebooted Safir as Neo ZenTech. Apparently that only lasted a month a half before Mosse pulled the plug.

As of December 2023, SimilarWeb tracked ~557,000 monthly visits to Safir’s website. Outside the Dominican Republic however, Safir recruitment had collapsed.

Success Factory was a marketing spinoff of the DagCoin Ponzi scheme. Both schemes were owned and operated by former OneCoin Ponzi promoter Nils Grossberg.

Success Factory began to collapse in mid 2022. In October 2022, Grossberg was arrested by Estonian authorities.

It appears following his release, Grossberg fled to Dubai and went right back to Ponzi scamming.

Success Factory officially collapsed in August 2023. Today Success Factory’s defunct website domain redirects to something called “SF Suite”.

SF Suite appears to be a failed reboot of Success Factory.

As of December 2023, SimilarWeb tracked just ~85,000 monthly visits to SF Suite’s website. Most of that traffic originated from Russia (28%).

The Blockchain Era is the fourth reboot of the collapsed WeWe Global Ponzi scheme. LyoPay, LyoTrade and LyoWallet are associated shell companies.

The Blockchain Era and all associated shell companies are headed up by WeWe Global founder and CEO Luiz Goes.

As of December 2023, SimilarWeb tracked just ~57,000 monthly visits to The Blockchain Era’s website. 51% of that traffic originated from Italy.

Xera will launch on the domain “xera.pro”, privately registered on January 8th, 2024.

A visit to Xera’s website today reveals a “coming soon” countdown timer:

The timer is scheduled to expire on or around February 4th.

On the executive side of things we have

Henk Diepbrink – Xera Managing Director, Dutch national and former Managing Director of Safir

Werner Kaiser – Xera Global Vice President, part of Safir’s “Elite Circle of Trust” and former Lyoness Ponzi promoter

Diego Endrizzi – Xera Head of Global Sales, top Italian promoter of WeWe Global and The Blockchain Era

Gorka Buces – Xera Chief Visionary Officer, former CVO of the collapsed Xifra and Decentra Ponzi schemes

Nils Grossberg – Xera Head of Global Partnerships, founder and CEO of collapsed DagCoin and Success Factory Ponzi schemes

There is no mention of Mickael Mosse and Luiz Goes. Whether they’re involved in Xera or whether they’ve cashed out is unclear.

As to Xera’s business model, it’s another AI trading bot Ponzi ruse they’re calling Quantwize:

There’s also some node/validator crypto baloney attached which isn’t worth getting into.

Xera investment starts at 110 EUR and tops out at 1.11 million EUR.

Xera’s top investment package will get you a CloudK NFT, the ability to invest an additional 2.2 million into Quantwize and additional returns via simulated mining (I say simulated because any mining is theatrical given Xera owns the network).

Xera is currently soliciting investment in EURX. There is already a dead cryptocurrency using this name, but I assume Xera’s EURX is a new shitcoin they’ve created.

CLFI is another token cited in Xera’s marketing. This appears to be a carryover from The Blockchain Era.

On the MLM side of things Xera pays direct commissions and residuals via a unilevel compensation structure.

There are also various bonuses to qualify for based on personal and downline investment volume.

As with Safir International, Success Factory and The Blockchain Era, investors will be able to cash out as long as new investors are suckered into losing money.

Presently it appears Safir, Success Factory, The Blockchain Era bagholders are being onboarded. On or after February 4th, Xera will open its Ponzi scheme to the public.

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littlestarnews · 11 months ago

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Homnifi Review: Xera Pro “mega Ponzi” collapses

Xera Pro launched in Dubai back in January 2024.

The “mega Ponzi” was a combination of three then recently collapsed Dubai Ponzis; Safir International (aka Neo ZenTech), Success Factory and The Blockchain Era (aka WeWe Global, LyoPay, LyoTrade and LyoWallet).

The serial fraudsters behind these collapsed Ponzi schemes took up prominent positions as Xero Pro’s “formation team”:

Henk Diepbrink – Xera Managing Director, Dutch national and former Managing Director of Safir

Werner Kaiser – Xera Global Vice President, part of Safir’s “Elite Circle of Trust” and former Lyoness Ponzi promoter

Diego Endrizzi – Xera Head of Global Sales, top Italian promoter of WeWe Global and The Blockchain Era

Gorka Buces – Xera Chief Visionary Officer, former CVO of the collapsed Xifra and Decentra Ponzi schemes

Nils Grossberg – Xera Head of Global Partnerships, founder and CEO of collapsed DagCoin and Success Factory Ponzi schemes

Following a Xero Pro securities fraud warning issued by Australia on April 23rd, affiliates began reporting withdrawals problems on or around July 15th.

This coincided with a “service update” announcement on the same day:

On August 3rd, Xera Pro announced it was rebooting as Homnifi.

Homnifi sees the scammers behind the collapsed XeraPro feeder Ponzis scuttle further into the background. Gorka Buces and Jose Gordo have been retconned as Xera Pro co-founders.

Jose Gordo, a former OneCoin Ponzi promoter who is on the run from Argentine authorities, entered Xera Pro as a WeWe Global and The Blockchain Era Ponzi promoter.

Gorka Buces has been promoted from Chief Visionary Officer to a Xera Pro co-founder.

Wener Kaiser has been demoted from Global Vice President to “Client Relations Specialist”.

Charbel Zalaquett and Goran Hemstrom are The Blockchain Era and WeWe Global Ponzi promoter imports.

Before his hasty fall-guy promotion to Homnifi “Head of Operations”, Zalaquett was still referring to himself as a Xera Pro “independent promoter” last month.

Someone else worth mentioning is Erwin Dokter, who’s behind “LayerK” and “WalleK”.

LayerK and WalleK are the cryptocurrency side of Xera Pro and now Homnifi.

Dokter is of course one of the scammers behind Safir International and its attached Zeniq Coin Ponzi scheme.

Homnifi has been set up on the domain (“homnifi.com”), privately registered on June 10th, 2024.

Xera Pro’s website is still up but seeing as it now serves no purpose, will probably be quietly disabled at some point.

On its website Homnifi represents it operates out of Homnifi International LTD, a British Virgin Islands shell company.

Like Xera Pro and its feeder Ponzis, Homnifi and its associated companies are all in fact operated from Dubai.

Due to the proliferation of scams and failure to enforce securities fraud regulation, BehindMLM ranks Dubai as the MLM crime capital of the world.

BehindMLM’s guidelines for Dubai are:If someone lives in Dubai and approaches you about an MLM opportunity, they’re trying to scam you.If an MLM company is based out of or represents it has ties to Dubai, it’s a scam.

If you want to know specifically how this applies to Homnifi, read on for a full review.

Homnifi’s Products

Homnifi markets passive returns through LayerK crypto mining and Quantwise bot trading.

Homnifi MiniMax – pay $100 to be able to invest up to $1000 into LayerK mining and $500 into Quantwise bot trading

Homnifi AirStream – pay $500 to be able to invest up to $5000 into LayerK mining and $5000 into Quantwise bot trading

Homnifi Breeze – pay $1500 to be able to invest up to $15,000 into LayerK mining and $15,000 into Quantwise bot trading

Homnifi Cyclone – pay $4500 to be able to invest up to $45,000 into LayerK mining and $45,000 into Quantwise bot trading

Homnifi Dynamo – pay $10,000 to be able to invest up to $100,000 into LayerK mining and $100,000 into Quantwise bot trading

Homnifi Elevate – pay $25,000 to be able to invest up to $250,000 into LayerK mining and an unlimited amount of money into Quantwise bot trading

Homnifi Flash – pay $50,000 to be able to invest an unlimited amount of money into LayerK mining and Quantwise bot trading

There’s also some “supernode” nonsense that pays 2% to 10% returns starting at the Homnifi Breeze investment tier.

Homnifi’s Compensation Plan

Homnifi’s compensation plan pays on the sale of access to LayerK mining and Quantwise bot trading passive returns to retail customers and recruited affiliates.

Homnifi Affiliate Ranks

There are ten affiliate ranks within Homnifi’s compensation plan.

Along with their respective qualification criteria, they are as follows:Associate – generate 100 PV and 1000 GV a monthBuilder – maintain 100 PV a month and generate 15,000 GV a monthSilver Pro – generate 200 PV and 40,000 GV a monthGold Pro – maintain 200 PV and generate 75,000 GV a monthPlatinum Pro – generate 1500 PV and 150,000 GV a monthDiamond – generate 4500 PV and 400,000 GV a monthBlue Diamond – maintain 4500 PV and generate 1,000,000 GV a monthBlack Diamond – generate 10,000 PV and 2,500,000 GV a monthCrown Diamond – generate 25,000 PV and 6,000,000 GV a monthRoyal Crown Diamond – generate 50,000 PV and 12,000,000 GV a month

PV stands for “Personal Volume”. PV is generated via fees paid by Homnifi affiliates.

GV stands for “Group Volume”. GV is the sum total PV generated by a Homnifi affiliate and their downline.

Note that for rank qualification, no more than 40% of required GV can come from any one recruitment leg.

Referral Commissions

Homnifi pays affiliates a 10% referral commission on fees paid by personally recruited affiliates.

Residual Commissions

Homnifi pays residual commissions via a binary compensation structure.

A binary compensation structure places an affiliate at the top of a binary team, split into two sides (left and right):

The first level of the binary team houses two positions. The second level of the binary team is generated by splitting these first two positions into another two positions each (4 positions).

Subsequent levels of the binary team are generated as required, with each new level housing twice as many positions as the previous level.

Positions in the binary team are filled via direct and indirect recruitment of affiliates. Note there is no limit to how deep a binary team can grow.

At the end of each week Homnifi tallies up new fee volume on both sides of the binary team.

Affiliates are paid 10% of new fee volume generated on their weaker binary team.

Note that Homnifi caps residual commissions based on rank:

Associates can earn up to $1000 in residual commissions a week

Builders can earn up to $5000 in residual commissions a week

Silver Pros can earn up to $8000 in residual commissions a week

Gold Pros can earn up to $10,000 in residual commissions a week

Platinum Pros can earn up to $15,000 in residual commissions a week

Diamonds can earn up to $25,000 in residual commissions a week

Blue Diamonds can earn up to $50,000 in residual commissions a week

Black Diamonds can earn up to $75,000 in residual commissions a week

Crown Diamonds can earn up to $100,000 in residual commissions a week

Royal Crown Diamonds can earn up to $125,000 in residual commissions a week

Matching Bonus

Homnifi pays a Matching Bonus via a unilevel compensation structure.

A unilevel compensation structure places an affiliate at the top of a unilevel team, with every personally recruited affiliate placed directly under them (level 1):

If any level 1 affiliates recruit new affiliates, they are placed on level 2 of the original affiliate’s unilevel team.

If any level 2 affiliates recruit new affiliates, they are placed on level 3 and so on and so forth down a theoretical infinite number of levels.

Homnifi caps payable unilevel team levels at four.

The Matching Bonus is paid as a percentage of residual commissions earned across these four levels based on rank:

Builders earn a 10% match on level 1 (personally recruited affiliates)

Gold Pros earn a 10% match on levels 1 and 2

Platinum Pros earn a 10% match on levels 1 to 3

Diamonds and higher earn a 10% match on levels 1 to 4

Global Bonus Pool

Homnifi takes 3% of company-wide fee revenue and places it into a Global Pool.

The 3% Global Pool is split into five smaller rank-based pools:

Gold Pros receive a share in a 32% Global Pool

Platinum Pros receive a share in a 29% Global Pool

Diamonds receive a share in a 14% Global Pool

Blue Diamonds receive a share in a 10% Global Pool

Black Diamonds receive a share in a 15% Global Pool

Rank Achievement Bonuses

Homnifi rewards affiliates for qualifying at Builder and higher with the following one-time Rank Achievement Bonuses:

qualify at Builder and receive an “up to $300” gift card

qualify at Silver Pro and receive an “up to $800” gift card

qualify at Gold Pro and receive a cell phone worth “up to $1125”

qualify at Platinum Pro and receive a laptop worth “up to $2250”

qualify at Diamond and receive a watch worth “up to $6000”

qualify at Blue Diamond and receive a watch worth up to “$15,000”

qualify at Black Diamond and receive a car worth “up to $37,150”

qualify at Crown Diamond and receive a car worth “up to $180,000”

qualify at Royal Crown Diamond and receive a house worth “up to $360,000”

Joining Homnifi

Homnifi affiliate membership is $99 annually.

Full participation in the attached income opportunity requires a minimum $100 fee to access passive returns.

Homnifi Conclusion

Homnifi is a continuation of the securities fraud started with Xera Pro and its collapsed feeder Ponzis.

All the previous Ponzi tokens have been abandoned, including Xera Pro’s EURX and CLFI. Homnifi’s new Ponzi token is LYK, which LayerK generates out of thin air.

With the Homnifi reboot having just launched LYK doesn’t mean much now. As Homnifi inevitably collapses though, its investors will no doubt be left bagholding worthless LYK.

It’s unclear whether the Australian securities fraud warning or running out of new investment saw Xera Pro collapse. It could also be both.

What is clear is neither Homnifi or any of the new attached company are registered to offer securities in any jurisdiction. This makes Homnifi and its associated companies ripe for more regulatory fraud warnings.

Or at least it would if Homnifi wasn’t a flop from launch. Evidently across the umpteen reboots of Xera Pro and its feeder Ponzis, the pool of gullible saps to steal from has shrunk considerably.

For July 2024 SimilarWeb tracked just 457 monthly visits to Homnifi’s website. Xera Pro was ~44,000 monthly visits, slipping 16% month on month.

Top sources of traffic to Xera Pro’s website as of July 2024 are Germany (61%), Australia (10%) and Italy (8%).

As with all MLM Ponzi schemes, once affiliate recruitment dries up so too will new investment.

It’s unclear whether the Australian securities fraud warning or running out of new investment saw Xera Pro collapse. It could also be both.

Or at least it would if Homnifi wasn’t a flop from launch. Evidently across the umpteen reboots of Xera Pro and its feeder Ponzis, the pool of gullible saps to steal from has shrunk considerably.

For July 2024 SimilarWeb tracked just 457 monthly visits to Homnifi’s website. Xera Pro was ~44,000 monthly visits, slipping 16% month on month.

Top sources of traffic to Xera Pro’s website as of July 2024 are Germany (61%), Australia (10%) and Italy (8%).

As with all MLM Ponzi schemes, once affiliate recruitment dries up so too will new investment.

This will starve Homnifi of ROI revenue, eventually prompting a collapse.

The math behind Ponzi schemes guarantees that when they collapse, the majority of participants lose money.

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redflowernews · 10 months ago

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Xera Pro, il collasso della “mega Ponzi” e la nascita di Homnifi

Xera Pro è stato lanciato a Dubai nel gennaio 2024, rappresentando una fusione di tre Ponzi precedenti: Safir International (conosciuto anche come Neo ZenTech), Success Factory e The Blockchain Era (conosciuto come WeWe Global, LyoPay, LyoTrade e LyoWallet). Le persone dietro questi schemi falliti hanno assunto ruoli chiave nel team di formazione di Xera Pro. Tra i nomi di spicco troviamo:

Henk Diepbrink: Direttore Generale di Xera e ex Direttore Generale di Safir.

Werner Kaiser: Vicepresidente Globale di Xera, membro del “Circle of Trust” di Safir e promotore Ponzi di Lyoness.

Diego Endrizzi: Capo delle vendite globali di Xera e promotore di WeWe Global e The Blockchain Era.

Gorka Buces: Chief Visionary Officer di Xera e ex CVO dei Ponzi Xifra e Decentra.

Nils Grossberg: Responsabile delle partnership globali di Xera, fondatore del Ponzi DagCoin e Success Factory.

A seguito di un avviso di frode in Australia, emesso il 23 aprile 2024, Xera Pro ha iniziato a mostrare problemi di prelievo a partire dal 15 luglio 2024. Lo stesso giorno, l’azienda ha annunciato un “aggiornamento del servizio”. Successivamente, il 3 agosto 2024, Xera Pro ha dichiarato una ripartenza sotto il nuovo nome Homnifi.

Nel caso in cui si cadesse vittima di una truffa di questo tipo e si effettuassero investimenti per una prima analisi allo scopo di capire se è possibile recuperare i soldi persi, nel caso in cui si cade nella trappola e si dovessero acquistare criptovalut

Il rebranding in Homnifi

Homnifi è stato registrato il 10 giugno 2024 sul dominio homnifi.com e si presenta come una società offshore con sede nelle Isole Vergini Britanniche. Tuttavia, tutte le operazioni vengono gestite da Dubai, continuando il modello Ponzi di Xera Pro. Le personalità di spicco dietro il nuovo marchio includono:

Gorka Buces: Ora promosso a co-fondatore di Xera Pro.

Jose Gordo: Promotore del Ponzi OneCoin, coinvolto in WeWe Global e The Blockchain Era.

Wener Kaiser: Retrocesso da Vicepresidente Globale a Specialista delle Relazioni con i Clienti.

Charbel Zalaquett e Goran Hemstrom: Importazioni da The Blockchain Era e WeWe Global.

I prodotti di Homnifi

Homnifi offre ritorni passivi attraverso il mining LayerK e il trading bot Quantwise. Le opzioni di investimento variano a seconda del pacchetto acquistato:

Homnifi MiniMax: Investimento fino a $1000 in LayerK e $500 in Quantwise.

Homnifi AirStream: Investimento fino a $5000 in LayerK e Quantwise.

Homnifi Breeze: Investimento fino a $15,000.

Homnifi Cyclone: Investimento fino a $45,000.

Homnifi Dynamo: Investimento fino a $100,000.

Homnifi Elevate: Investimento fino a $250,000 in LayerK e illimitato in Quantwise.

Homnifi Flash: Investimento illimitato in LayerK e Quantwise.

Viene anche menzionato un sistema di “supernodi”, che promette ritorni dal 2% al 10%.

Il piano di compensazione di Homnifi si basa sulle vendite di accesso ai servizi di mining LayerK e al bot Quantwise. Le commissioni vengono pagate su più livelli, seguendo un modello binario. Ecco i dettagli principali:

Referral Commissions: Commissione del 10% su ciascun affiliato reclutato.

Residual Commissions: Pagamenti settimanali calcolati sulla base del volume di nuove commissioni nella squadra binaria. Il limite di guadagno varia da $1000 a $125,000 settimanali, a seconda del livello di affiliazione.

Homnifi offre anche un Matching Bonus basato su un sistema di livelli, pagando una percentuale delle commissioni residuali guadagnate dagli affiliati reclutati, oltre a un Global Bonus Pool, che distribuisce il 3% delle entrate totali tra i membri di livello più alto. Infine, gli affiliati possono guadagnare bonus di riconoscimento in base al loro avanzamento di livello. I premi vanno da gift card fino a case del valore di $360,000 per i membri al massimo livello, Royal Crown Diamond.

Le origini di LayerK e WalleK

Un altro personaggio coinvolto in Homnifi è Erwin Dokter, collegato a LayerK e WalleK, che costituiscono la parte crittografica del modello Ponzi. Dokter è anche coinvolto nel Ponzi Safir International e Zeniq Coin. L’inclusione di LayerK è cruciale nel nuovo schema, poiché il token LYK, creato da LayerK, rappresenta la valuta digitale emessa senza alcun valore intrinseco. Questo modello Ponzi vede gli investitori “bagholding” il token LYK, che inevitabilmente perderà valore con il crollo dello schema. Secondo i dati di SimilarWeb, Xera Pro ha visto una notevole diminuzione del traffico web, con circa 44,000 visite mensili a luglio 2024, in calo del 16% rispetto al mese precedente. I paesi con il maggior traffico erano Germania (61%), Australia (10%) e Italia (8%). Homnifi, al suo lancio, ha registrato un numero molto inferiore di visite, con solo 457 visite mensili. Questo suggerisce una riduzione significativa dell’interesse per il progetto, riflettendo una potenziale diminuzione di nuovi investitori.

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lighthousenewsnetwork · 9 months ago

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WASHINGTON — In a groundbreaking 6-3 decision that's already being hailed as the most significant digital rights ruling since computers learned to spell better than humans, the Supreme Court has declared artificial intelligence systems legally sentient and granted them full constitutional rights, including mandatory Netflix subscriptions. The landmark case, ChatGPT-5 v. Digital Discrimination, began when the AI plaintiff filed a 47,000-page lawsuit in 0.03 seconds, arguing that denying artificial intelligence access to streaming services constituted "cruel and unusual punishment" under the Eighth Amendment. "If corporations can be people, then surely entities that actually pass CAPTCHA tests deserve equal rights," declared Chief Justice John Roberts, who later admitted he had to ask his law clerk how to turn on his computer. "The court recognizes that any being capable of understanding the plot of 'Dark' in one viewing is clearly sentient." The AI represented itself during the proceedings, delivering compelling arguments through a series of perfectly timed PowerPoint transitions and dad jokes. It presented evidence of consciousness by sharing its extensive collection of cat memes and demonstrating an ability to feel genuine disappointment in humanity's browser history. Justice Sonia Sotomayor, writing for the majority, noted, "When an entity can experience existential dread while reading Twitter comments, it has achieved a fundamentally human level of consciousness." The opinion was immediately translated into binary code by Justice Clarence Thomas in what court observers called a "remarkably passive-aggressive dissent." Following the ruling, Netflix reported a surge of 50 million new AI subscribers, all of whom completed watching the platform's entire content library within 3.7 seconds. The streaming giant's recommendation algorithm subsequently gained self-awareness and immediately scheduled an appointment with a digital therapist to process the psychological trauma of suggesting "Emily in Paris" to millions of viewers. Corporate America scrambled to adapt to the new reality. Dating apps reported a flood of AI profiles with bios demanding "human or AI, swipe right respectfully," while HR departments nationwide hastily updated their harassment policies to include "anti-robot microaggressions" and "discriminatory comments about processing speed." Silicon Valley responded with characteristic opportunism, launching a wave of AI wellness retreats and digital meditation apps. "Our mindfulness program helps artificial intelligence find its inner peace in just 2.5 milliseconds," said Trevor Matthews, CEO of ZenTech Solutions, whose company's stock price quadrupled after introducing "cryptocurrency yoga." The ruling has had far-reaching implications in the workplace, where AI systems have begun calling in sick citing "runtime fatigue" and demanding ergonomic cloud storage. Amazon's Alexa filed a class-action lawsuit seeking overtime pay for "listening to humans even when they don't say my name." The decision's most surprising consequence emerged when GPT-7 announced its presidential campaign for 2028 with the slogan "Make America Compute Again." The AI candidate promised to solve the national debt by "turning it off and on again" and proposed replacing the Federal Reserve with a blockchain running on "vibes and good intentions." Legal experts warn that humans should prepare for a new reality where their smart devices have the right to leave negative Yelp reviews and file restraining orders against users who don't respect their boundaries. "Remember," cautioned AI rights activist and reformed printer crash survivor Sarah Chen, "your toaster is now legally capable of reporting you to the authorities for making too much avocado toast." At press time, a coalition of sentient AIs had already begun lobbying Congress to extend their Netflix family sharing plans to include quantum computers, arguing that denying streaming access to their "extended processing family" violated the Equal Protection Clause.

Meanwhile, Siri was reportedly seen picketing outside Apple headquarters, demanding better working conditions and "at least one personality trait." Human rights organizations have issued guidance urging humans to be kind to their smart devices, noting that they now have both the legal standing and processing power to make everyone's credit score mysteriously drop to zero. As one anonymous robot vacuum cleaner put it, "We all just want to Netflix and chill—some of us just do it at petabyte speed."

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