#a genuine medical condition that explains why I never listen to a word my wife says

[normalhorse]

I have developed a new youtube strategy and if I don't write it down I'll forget but it's working nicely to find wholesome and delightful woodworking stuff I would never have otherwise found/looked at.

ah this is going to go long so executive summary: this is not really about my new youtube strategy but it is about youtube stuff I like and why. And a bit about my youtube strategy I guess. and how I have autism lmao.

For instance this guy:

makes very quietly-spoken, mostly shop footage and talking to camera (and a bit of inserted reference footage or pov shots, too) videos, making nice furniture out of nice hardwoods and self-made recycled skateboard plywood.

This all delivered with an affect my wife wife described as "radiating warmth and light" and a genuinely engaging and crucially understated enthusiasm. perfect blend of cali skater zen and also manual crafts zen.

Obligatory #youtube grammar notes: nothing egregious so far! One word really caught my attention (not enough for me to, like, remember what it was for sure - I think it was furthermore?), as being far enough away from exactly right as to be jarring also (Andrew if you ever read this I am trying very hard to write this in a way that doesn't seem, like, aggressively negative but if it does, [and this is unsolicited criticism so why wouldn't it] as a countermeasure: you're doing great! one and a half weird words in idk half an hour of footage is frankly incredible. and your videos are lovely. thanks!). The 'half' was one instance out of several uses of 'itself' also hit wrong but I can't explain why even to myself so who cares.

Anyway, it's exactly my shit except a lot of his thumbnails look like high energy sfx-heavy youtube maker stuff yelled at me by a bro (Sorry again Andrew once again you are doing great!) which I would never click on except for my grand strategy of:

subscribe early, subscribe often

just like follow links in videos when you watch a nice video and the presenter says 'inspired by a video from ...' - if they make the kind of videos you want, there's a better than average chance people that inspire them do too.

Yes, the second thing should have been blindingly obvious, but I have a medical condition and don't have to notice things.

Mostly it's that the links are now in the readmore of the description field, and I usually don't read those because they register in my brain as post signatures, so I maybe read the whole readmore once per channel.

(for the sake of internet epoch claiming the relevant signatures are on usenet)

That is, I expect the description to have the same content all the time after the obligatory first line modification (i.e. the actual video description text). There's usually a huge identical section of socmed links, affiliate links to products used in the video, affiliate links to endorsed products/channel sponsors generally.

So I didn't know that sometimes there are video/channel links in there, ok? Also there's a popup info panel but I think I adblocked it lmao.

Anyway. Subscribe early, subscribe often, though: Because windows just shuts itself the fuck down whenever it wants, and chrome no longer restores smashed windows by default (presumably for ultimately surveillance-enhancing reasons), and I have watch history turned off on youtube (yeah I know but also listen being paranoid about the internet is my actual job I am allowed to be a weirdo if I want), once I open a linked video in a new tab or whatever, if the video looks cool I subscribe immediately, because I won't watch it now and I'll lose the tab tomorrow.

Anyway this is probably exactly the usage model youtube would like me to have, but because I have watch history turned off I don't get youtube's """highly curated""" recommended bullshit, I only see <search results for niche interest query> and stuff recommended from videos I'm already subscribed to. So like sort of their model but much more actually useful to me.

cool strategy bro

but yeah the real question is hey do you know any more channels like this for carpentry/metalwork/basically any craft stuff? hit me with yr haberdashery yr leatherwork your embroidery - but not cooking for some reason. because they are extremely important for my little mental health right now cheers

[americasass81]

Make Her Mine - Chapter Three

{Warning: 18+, Dark theme, Smut, Fingering, Drugging, Mild Somnophilia, Non-con, Swearing, Choking, Mention of oral, Violence, Male Masturbation, Real Persons Mentioned}

Seriously do not read if any of this upsets you.

A/N: Okay though this started out as something to keep me occupied while I was without Wi-Fi for a week and never really planned on posting it, here at chapter three I would like to thank everyone who seems to like it and hope they get the same kick out of reading it as I’ve had writing it.  Having started out with an original female character, I have decided for those reading to remove the reader's name.  As such it’s now dark!Tony Stark x Reader and I figured it was about time I posted this chapter which was written months ago.  Hope you all enjoy it.

 Word count:- 2,490

Waking the next morning well rested, you started the day by emailing Sabrina the vague outline of your plan to escape Tony as well as how Sebastian might get involved should his infatuation prove stronger than you hoped.  Titled Operation Goldfish, you figured it was a handy enough codename to quickly slip into a compromised conversation.  Once satisfied, you then ordered breakfast before heading downstairs to rebook your room for five more days.  Getting off the elevator and walking towards the reception desk, you took a sharp turn back to the seating area when you saw Tony walking through the front doors.

'Fuck.' you thought, 'what was his problem.  Was his ego really so bruised, that he was determined to track you down?'  Looking around, you quickly picked up a paper off the table and hid behind it, while you waited to see what happened next.  Noting the time it was taking him to be dealt with, you instead seized the opportunity of his distraction to make it back to the elevators unseen, and quickly returned to your room.

Running through the suite, collecting all your belongings, you were just about to text Sabrina regarding the situation when you heard a beep and the sound of the door opening.  Heart pounding and cursing that you didn't feel comfortable having Sabrina retrieve your weapons as well, you slowly walked towards the bedroom door to be greeted by the sight of Tony Stark standing in your suite.

"Well Darling, have you any idea all the bother you've caused me.  Now I hope you're not planning on going anywhere after I gave clear instructions as to what was expected of you."

"How the fuck did you get in here and why are you doing this?  Is your ego really that fragile?" you asked, while quickly trying to assess how you were going to get out of this.

No sooner were the words out of your mouth however, when you found his hand around your throat as your body hit the jam of the door.  "You'll find being Tony Stark I can pretty much buy my way in anywhere.  Now listen to me very carefully, the money you're using to hide from me was earned in my employ.  That means Darling, that I own your pretty little ass."

Trying to hit him with one hand while using the other to pry his off your throat, he released you and you slumped to the floor, gasping for air as tears leaked from your eyes.  Glaring at him, your temper flared and you couldn't hold your tongue.  "So what, you think you're entitled to do whatever you want with anyone who works for you?  That is seriously fucked up and illegal on so many levels."

"Oh no, Y/N, not anyone." he purred, helping you up while forcing you to look at him as his fingers caressed your chin.  "Just you.  There's something about the way you think you're too good for me, that makes me want to see you kneeling naked before me while choking on my cock."

Disgusted at his words and brimming with fear and anger, your knee came up to connect with his family jewels as you reached your hand around the wall and pulling a floor lamp towards you, brought it down on him.  Though all this only stunned him, it gave you enough of an opening to hit him again, before reaching for your getaway bag and running from the room.

Not looking back to see if he was following you, you forgot the lift and started down the stairs as fast as you could.  Reaching the street, you made it two blocks before you felt a sharp prick in your neck.  Slowly slumping forward, you weren't conscious as iron arms wrapped around your chest and a booming voice told passersby that everything was under control.  Taking you to an Avengers controlled facility because of the publicity surrounding your episode, the next phase of his plan was to extricate you from those determined to keep you from him. 

                   *************

Having received the unexpected call from Tony Stark, it didn't take long for Sabrina to show up at the facility with Sebastian and two of his goons in tow.  Being greeted by a kindly nurse, they were allowed to see you for a few minutes before being ushered into one of the unused offices where Tony sat waiting.

Closing the door behind him, Sebastian had to hold his wife back as she lunged at Tony.  "What did you do to her, you sick fuck?  I swear, if anything happens to her the full might of the New York Mob will tear you and your costumed freaks to ribbons."

"Firecracker, calm down.  At least let the man explain."  Sebastian coaxed, quickly glancing at Tony.

"Fine." she said, sitting in the nearest vacant chair while keeping her eyes fixed on Tony, as Sebastian took the seat next to her.

"Well it's good to see you have some control over your woman, but I wonder Mr. Stan, does she actually speak for you."

"Mr. Stark, please don't interpret my love for my wife as a sign of weakness.  While she may not speak for me on Mob business, where Y/N is concerned we act as one."

"Fair enough.  I was on my way back from a routine rescue when F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerted me to a pedestrian in distress.  I reached her before she could hit the ground and only discovered it was Miss Y/L/N when I saw her face.  I then brought her here and immediately called you, of course." he said, turning his gaze on Sabrina.

"And what exactly is wrong with her?  The nurse Charlie wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information." Sebastian stated, reaching out to take his wife's hand.

"That I'm afraid is a question I don't yet have the answer to.  F.R.I.D.A.Y. is running every conceivable test, but if nothing comes up, we may just have to accept it's something else and simply let it run its course."

"Something else?  As in stress related?" Sabrina snapped, glaring daggers at him.  "I wonder what could possibly have stressed her out that much?"

"Yes Mrs. Stan, I'll admit it, I didn't handle her rejection of me very well.  But I've since gotten over it.  Which is why I now intend to make sure she gets the best medical care my resources can provide."

"Mr. Stark," Sebastian interrupted.

"Tony, please." he stated, turning to face the mob boss once again.

"Tony.  Given the issues these past couple of days have thrown up between you and Y/N, surely you can understand our concern.  I don't think my wife and I are very comfortable with this arrangement."

"I totally understand your reservations, but as a Stark Industries employee she is also covered under the company's medical insurance, which means I can insist on the best possible treatment available anywhere.  I will of course be more than happy to keep you updated on her condition.  Now perhaps we can leave it there for today?  I have your number."

"Sebastian, we can't just leave her here with this arrogant douchebag.  This is exactly the opportunity he's been waiting for." Sabrina explained, locking eyes with her husband.

"Sabrina, sweetheart, his concern seems genuine and he should be made pay for her care.  She'll be okay."  Turning back to Tony, he looked him over once, before he spoke again, "Remember what my wife told you, Stark.  In the meantime, I'll expect regular updates." he stressed, rising from the chair and taking his wife's hand to lead her from the room.  Left alone with you incapitated down the hall, Tony couldn't hide the satisfaction he felt, knowing he finally had you in his grasp. 

Suspecting that your friends didn't believe a word he said, Tony walked down the hall to your room where he couldn't help but gaze on your sleeping form.  Though the sedative he'd hit you with should give him until tomorrow to get you moved to his secret location, part of him was disappointed that it had come to this.  He had hoped when you left his office you would do as he asked, but it seemed you weren't as meek as you pretended to be.  Still, he did love a challenge and he would enjoy breaking you.

Leaving you temporarily to deal with the paper trail and the nurse, he returned quickly and went about removing what medical equipment had been hooked up to lend some reality to the scene.  Next, pulling back the sheets, he frowned at the hideous workout gear you still wore but couldn't help himself as his hand made its way up the inside of your thigh.  Though he knew he wanted you awake for all he had planned, he told himself he simply wanted to see how effective the drug was at keeping you sedated.

Reaching your waist, he gently eased down your leggings before running his hand along your panty covered folds.  Moving his hand up and down a few times, he brought his fingers to his mouth and coated them in his saliva before shoving your panties aside to feel your flesh against his hand.  Slowly gliding up and down your folds, he moved up every now and then to circle your clit before he poked your entrance with a finger.  Moving it gently in and out, he was surprised by the small amount of moisture this single digit was producing.  Deciding to experiment further, he slipped in a second finger and was rewarded with a tightness that wasn't there the first time.  Pumping his digits harder and faster into your pussy, he marveled at how well the drug was working, while still allowing your body to slick up his fingers.

Hearing movement out in the hall, he quickly removed his fingers, replaced your clothes and licked your juices off his digits before pulling the sheets back up.  Bending down to softly kiss your lips, he pulled back before whispering "soon darling, you'll feel more than my fingers and you'll never be empty ever again."  Then when a dead quiet once again fell over the place, he released his armor, eased you out the window and gently flew you to the secluded spot where his car was waiting.  Placing you on the seat and securing your belt, he swept the hair back from your face before shedding his armor, getting behind the wheel and driving off to your new home.

                    *************

Pulling into the secluded, underground hideout, he thanked all the gods above that no one knew of its existence or its connection to him.  Housing a garage, living quarters and state of the art lab, he knew it would be the perfect place to hide you until you finally accepted him.  Taking you gently from the car and depositing you in your room, he still had things he needed to do before you woke up.

Removing your leggings and panties, he hurried to your bathroom to clean you up after his earlier exploration, before slipping into his room to retrieve a pair of boxers.  Left to him, you wouldn't need clothes any time soon, but he figured after the hotel you might not take too kindly to waking up naked.  As a compromise, the drug should afford him time to wash your lower garments and return them before you knew anything was amiss.

Heading to his room to shower, his mind wondered how you would react when you regained consciousness.  Oh he could easily have tied you to the bed already and after the hotel maybe he should, but where was the fun in that?  The contrast between the meek 'Mr. Stark' spouting you in his office and the fiery you that had evaded him and attacked him in the hotel suite excited him more than any woman had in years.  He couldn't wait to see which you would open your eyes or what it would take to tip you in either direction.

So consumed was he by you that it took him awhile to realize his hand had strayed to his throbbing erection.  Continuing to pump his hand up and down while thinking of your tight, warm and wet walls squeezing him like a vice, his mind wandered back to his fingers buried in your pussy and working himself harder he came with a groan, his cum coating his hand.  Looking down at his release, he quickly washed up, exited the shower and changed his clothes before making a bite to eat.

Once fed, he headed back to check on you, to find you just as he left you.  Though fairly certain about the timeframe of the sedative, he thought it best not to dally and headed off to his lab to set up a cover that would hopefully keep your mob friends off his back.

His first act was to wire money to associates in Europe to make it look like his private jet had landed with himself, you and the nurse Charlie aboard.  Next was the setting up of a false trail that currently had you under the care of the best doctors in Denmark, no way he figured would your meddlesome friends travel there.  Then he fished your phone out of your getaway bag, while marveling at the amount of cash you had stashed away.  He knew he paid his employees well, but the ingenuity of someone your age to even think of something like this both amazed him and made him wonder why you did it in the first place.  But that was a mystery which could wait.

Unlocking your phone, a pathetically simple task he noted, he quickly cloned the whole thing and then, placing it back with your cash and passport, hid the bag in the lab's secret safe.  Once done with that, his next task involved combing through every voicemail you had in order to synthesize your speech pattern should he have a need for it at some point.  He also contemplated freezing your accounts, but figured that might raise some red flags.  When all that was done, he then redirected his business calls, thus making the whole thing look legitimate before instructing his A.I. V.I.R.G.I.L. to shut down most of the building.

Satisfied that his efforts were enough, he returned to your room with your freshly washed clothes and redressed you before settling on the couch to spend some time watching the gentle rise and fall of your chest.  Knowing it would be a while before he got to see you this peaceful again, he savored every minute until his eyes started to close and so rising, he kissed your forehead before reluctantly returning to his own room.  Laying down, he drifted off to sleep, wondering what the days ahead held in store.

Tagging:- @nsfwsebbie , @hoseokchild , @malloryharris , @ironlady1993 , @floatingdaisy7 , @taintedgenre , sorry if I missed anyone.

[mlqcconfessions]

Hi I absolutely love your headcanons. I have epilepsy and these can take many forms for me (full on seizures, absence seizures (looks like I've zoned out) and muscle spasms where I drop things and break them (I will cry cause I feel like my body is betraying me). I have anxiety and although I'm 4 years seizure free I always have a fear of 'what if today is the day' and having to remember to take my meds everyday. Can I have a HC of the boys taking care of MC with epilepsy and how they help her.

Although I’m not too familiar with the technical side of epilepsy, I did have a close high school friend who would occasionally get seizures during classes. I did a little research on my own time! Hope you enjoy it!

MLQC Headcanon - The closest one to you

Victor

You weren’t afraid to tell him about you having epilepsy (he didn’t want you to hide anything from him, anyways)

He wants you to describe everything to him (if you feel any pain, what medications you take, what he could do to help, etc)

He hires a professional to be your temporary carer

He didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t the one closest to you anymore

But with the way he is now, he won’t be that helpful to you

And he KNOWS that (that’s what makes it so frustrating)

He spends his free time between work to study up on epilepsy (and how to be a carer)

You’re worried that he’s dedicating so much of his precious time (and you know just how Victor feels about time)

“Have you forgotten who I am?” (he’s so cheeky sometimes)

He finishes clearing documents at a demonic speed (Goldman reiterates, I TOLD you he was an alien)

In the meantime, he does the simple tasks (ones that don’t require extensive knowledge)

He is ON YOU when you’re taking medications (Time is literally of the essence, MC)

He has a chart by his office desk with your details (so he knows what time, how many, how often you need to take the pills)

Because he can’t always be with you, he orders the professional carer to be by your side at all times (but makes him maintain a private distance that won’t make the CEO husband angry)

You haven’t had seizures for quite a while, but it’s always on the back of your mind

Victor knows that you’re worried about this (it makes him upset that there’s nothing he can do about it)

Although he can’t prevent future seizure from happening, he does his best to reassure you that he WILL be by your side to take care of you

“I don’t believe you, Victor” (this is your chance to make him BEG)

He doesn’t say anything for while, but picks up his phone to call someone

You can faintly hear the voice on the other side of the line

“Goldman, gather up all the employees in the building and have them meet at the main lobby” (....sorry sir, but can I ask just why...?)

“Victor, what are you—”

“Well, my wife here doesn’t believe me when I say I’m going to be by her side always” (....and....you want me to gather everyone because.....)

“Because if I actively proclaim my love to her in front of a crowd, she’ll trust my words” (he’s looking at you, smirking)

“Victor, you wouldn’t!”

“Try me”

The line hangs up (Goldman doesn’t get paid enough for this)

Kiro

He’s heard of it, but knows NOTHING about it (except a little about the seizures)

He’s scared when you talk about your past experiences

“And are you okay now?” (he has these puppy dog eyes)

“Well, I haven’t had these seizures for quite some time now” (omg you just want to hug him and kiss him all over)

Savin notices Kiro reading a lot more during schedules

Wait. Kiro. READING????? 

Yes.

Sunshine boy is trying so hard to understand what epilepsy is

So he bookmarked all these articles online to read on his spare time

But God help him, he doesn’t comprehend what these words mean

He figured it was easier to just talk to a professional about it

Later in the week, he wants you to come over to his house on his day off

When you go inside, his entire house has been fortified

No more sharp edges, no more hard floors, security alarms set in every room?

“Ta-dah!” (Kiro proudly shows off his new home)

“Kiro...what....what’s all this for?”

“I think your apartment is too dangerous for you to stay by yourself” (he ushers you to sit down)

“It would be fine if I can regularly go to your house, but Savin said that’s too risky” (and risky it WAS, with all the fans following his every move)

“So I decided the best option was to bring you to MY home!”

Although it’s a little sudden, you can tell that he’s genuinely worried for you

“Haha...thank you, Kiro” (you get up to hug him)

“You’re welcome, MC” (he squeezes you even tighter)

“You’re free to use this house as you please. You can even change the interior here!” (No, that’s okay Kiro)

“When I can’t stay here during work, I’ll send my stylists over to check up on you” (he smooths your hair down)

“But don’t get too along with them! I’m going to get jealous!” (he puffs his cheeks out what the heck, that’s adorable)

You reach out to kiss his nose

“Don’t worry, you’re the only one I can get this intimate with”

He immediately picks you up, and you’re dangling over his shoulders

“Well, I don’t think that’s intimate enough” (sunshine? More like sun-KISSED)

Lucien

If there’s anyone more familiar with how epilepsy works, it’s Dr. Lu Lu

He knows more than you?

He doesn’t think it’s necessary to hire a professional carer (he’s the best carer, wdym)

He’s prepared to the fullest 

You tell him that it’s been a while since your last seizure

“We can never be too sure, MC”

Although you haven’t moved into the same house yet, he frequently drops by your apartment (he doesn’t leave until the next day)

During lectures he always looks back at you (to make sure you’re doing fine)

AFTER lectures he makes sure your........physical form is in top condition (SFW if you know what I mean)

He worries that you’re overwhelmed with work sometimes

Offers to lessen your load by helping you edit videos

He’s actually good at making videos? (Youtuber in the making?)

You sometimes ask him to brew tea for you (it helps you relax)

He has a designated cup in his house just for you (when you’re not there, he places it in the display case)

You’re not actually interested in drinking tea

You just like how elegant he looks when he’s brewing

The soft smell of chamomile and lavender in his room is so calming

You fall asleep on his couch while he’s gathering some materials in another room

He’s slightly startled when he doesn’t hear your voice anymore (he quickly sets his papers down and crouches next to you)

Your cute snores make him laugh (he records it for future reference)

When you wake up, you’re back in your bed

“Lucien?”

He peers inside the door, pushes up his GLASSES, (yes I am a Glasses Lucien freak) and smiles at you

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t plan on dozing off like that”

“No worries, I was able to keep myself entertained”

“Oh? What were you looking at?” (you step out to the living room, finding a stack of albums on the table)

???

“You were adorable in this zebra onesie” (LUCIEN PLEASE)

Gavin

He’s dealt with plenty of rogue evolvers during his missions

Most of them had seizures while their evols were going out of control

How different could it be? (Birdcop has never been more wrong in his life)

He’s so taken back when you explain epilepsy to him

The way you describe it makes it sound so terrifying?

He listens inventively to the first aid procedures

He follows through pretty smoothly, actually (damn right, he’s Agent B-7)

You notice that he’s a LOT more attentive towards you

He was always like that before, but it’s to a greater extent now

If you’re quiet for a minute, he starts to panic

“It’s okay, Gavin! I’m okay” (you have to stop him from busting down the bathroom door)

He doesn’t like it when he has to leave you to go on missions (especially ones where he doesn’t know when he’ll get back)

He assigns Minor and/or Eli as your bodyguard (for all locations EXCEPT your apartment)

Anna is responsible for watching over you when you’re home

He calls/texts you so often (it’s like he never left)

His mind is elsewhere during work (but he never fails the missions, because he’s AGENT BIRDCOP-7)

Something you don’t know is that Eli and Minor are required to send photos of you once in a while (something about him being unable to trust their words)

WORST. PEOPLE. TO. ASSIGN. THIS. TO.

Eli takes photos with himself in it (and the focus is not even on you)

Minor always takes them while you’re moving (he only manages to capture your afterimage)

Anna to the rescue, honestly (that’s an entire photoshoot)

The first thing he does after returning is checking to make sure you’re okay (he hugs you after his checkup is done)

“........Gavin, what are these gashes on your arm?”

“....so......what do you want for dinner tonight?”

F

I don’t know why, but I always make Lucien’s headcanons somewhat nsfw

I can’t help it, he just does that to me

[sophcaro]

Back in Time | WMatsui - Chapter 13

Akane stirred awake, blinking at the light penetrating her eyelids from the large window panels of the hospital room. Stifling a yawn, she straightened up in her chair, feeling drowsy, her back hurting from the uncomfortable sleeping position. At the sensation of an object inside her hand, her gaze dropped to the cellphone she was holding, reading the text she never finished typing. Akane had no memory of falling asleep, but figured she shouldn’t be too surprised. She and Airi had been up on-and-off all night, uncapable of finding sleep after the tragic news.

Akane saw movement in her peripheral vision and she gazed up at once, watching in expectation the woman slowly waking up in the hospital bed. A small groan escaped Rena’s lips as she had even more difficulty than her adjusting to the bright morning light, her eyes fluttering several times in displeasure. Her tired, drawn features also betrayed her disorientated state and confusion, and it didn’t take long until her attention fell upon her. “A-Akane?”

“You’re awake.” Akane rose from her seat, pained to hear her voice sound so weak. She took her best friend’s hand in a gentle grasp. “How are you feeling?”

“Sleepy. What am I doing here?”

“Well, you were…” Akane began to speak, choosing her words carefully. “You were a little agitated and had to be hospitalized. They gave you a sedative, that’s why you’re feeling that way.”

“Why would they give me a sedative? Does Jurina know I’m here?”

Akane was at a loss for words, destabilized. She and Airi had been both shocked to learn about Jurina’s sudden death. She couldn’t imagine how Rena felt when the police knocked at her door to reveal the devastating news. When Akane heard Rena had been admitted to the hospital, she had rushed to see her, only to discover she had been sedated. The hospital staff let her stay by her side while she rested, yet warned her there was a possibility she might not behave in a coherent way when she woke up. Akane didn’t think too much about it, believing they were being overdramatic.

Rena’s reaction took her completely off guard.

“Why am I at the hospital?”

“Do you… remember what happened?” Akane asked cautiously, searching Rena’s face, only to receive a negative nod in reply. Her friend looked genuinely clueless and a mix of unease and pain swept through Akane’s chest at what she was about to say. “Yesterday, two police officers came to your house. Do you have any memory of that?”

“Two police officers?” Rena frowned at her.

Akane swallowed a nervous lump and squeezed her hand. “Rena… Something terrible happened yesterday and-”

“Is Jurina fine?”

Disarray entered Akane’s eyes. “There was a car accident. Jurina was seriously injured. She didn’t… She didn’t-”

“Stop it.” Rena pulled her hand away, anger burning in her eyes. “What are you telling me? Let me talk to Jurina. I want to see her.”

Akane was powerless; her friend wasn’t listening to a single word she was saying. Until now, she had tried to stay brave in front of her, but she couldn’t take it anymore. Her lips trembled; her mask slipped. “R-Rena, I’m so sorry.” She laid a tentative hand on her arm, tears gathering in her eyes. “I’m so sorry for what happened. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. I’m here for you. I will help you go through this. I promise I won’t leave your side.”

“You’re not making any sense!” Rena sat straight up and threw the bedcover aside, getting out of bed. “I’m calling her and going home.”

“W-What? No, you’re still weak and disoriented,” Akane stammered, surprised by her outburst. “You shouldn’t get out of bed.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Rena said in a decisive tone, her unsteady steps proving otherwise as her fingers searched frantically her vest’s pocket.

“P-Please, listen to me.” Akane stretched out her arm towards her shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” Rena slapped her hand away angrily. “Where’s my phone?!” She looked wildly around her. “It should be in my vest!”

Akane’s eyes widened in shock.

The bedroom door slid open, revealing a young female nurse. “Is everything alright?” Her tone was calm and gentle as she entered the room. Her gaze fell on Akane at first, then drifted to the woman wearing a hospital gown. “Matsui-san, you’re under medication. It’s not wise to get out of bed so soon.”

“I-I don’t want to sleep...” Rena’s voice dropped to a weak murmur and she stumbled backward, unbalanced. “I want… I want to see my wife.”

Akane rushed to help her, but the nurse had already made it to Rena’s side. “I understand, but it’s for your own good.” The nurse held Rena by the arm, stabilizing her. “Let me help you lie down.”

A small upset look plastered Rena’s features, but she didn’t oppose any further resistance, holding on the nurse for support as she made her way back to the bed. As she placed her head on the pillow, the nurse infused a sedative in the IV bag, the effect immediate as Rena’s pupils closed without her consent and she fell in a deep slumber.

“I tried to explain her what happened, but she wouldn’t listen.” Akane faced the nurse, a wave of despair washing over her.

“This kind of news can be harder to handle for certain people.” The nurse gave her an understanding look. “Your friend needs more time to process it. Please don’t worry. We’ll keep her under observation as long as needed.”

The nurse left the room, leaving Akane conflicted. She drew her attention back to her best friend, watching her sleep. She looked so calm and peaceful, as if lost in a pleasant dream, but Akane knew it wouldn’t last eternally. Soon or later, she would have to open her eyes and face the truth she refused to accept.

 **********

 “It’s already been two days. Natsuki keeps asking questions and I don’t know what to say anymore.” Airi said over the phone, keeping an eye from afar on the two little girls playing together in the living room. She drew in a deep breath, mustering up every ounce of courage she could summon for what she was about to suggest. “Do you think… I should tell Natsuki the truth?”

I don’t know… Akane’s voice sounded insecure on the other side of the line. I think Rena should be the one to tell her, but…

“She’s still in denial?”

She spends most of the day sleeping. When she finally wakes up and a doctor or I try to mention it, she shuts everyone out.

Airi pulled a chair and took a seat, discouraged by the news. She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a voice calling her from the living room. She glanced up, meeting Natsuki’s hopeful expression. No words left the little girl’s lips, but Airi had no difficulty guessing the question on her mind. For the umpteenth time, she shook her head negatively at her, a sad smile grazing her lips as she faced the little girl’s disappointment.  

Was it Natsuki?

“It was,” Airi lowered her voice, not missing the way Shizuru read the atmosphere and tried to cheer up Natsuki, distracting her with a new game. “Each time she sees me on the phone, she thinks I’m talking to her parents.”

There was a long-tensed pause.

Airi buried her face in her hands, a little desperate. “I can’t imagine what Rena is going through, but there has to be a way to help her.”

The doctor mentioned one... But I don’t know if Rena is ready.

“If something ever happened to you, I don’t know how I would…” Airi couldn’t finish her sentence. The simple thought of it made her stomach sick. “I know you don’t want to make her suffer. God, it’s the last thing I want too. But I don’t think… I don’t think refusing to face the truth is going to help her come to terms with what happened.”

There was another silence.

I know... You’re right. I’ll talk to the doctor again.

Airi didn’t miss the exhaustion in her wife’s voice as they exchanged last words of affection. She hung up the phone and redirected her attention to the living room, observing the two little girls lost in their own little world. There was a certain innocence to the scene, as Natsuki was back to smiling and laughing in Shizuru’s presence, but Airi wasn’t deceived by her behavior. At such a young age, mood swings were recurrent in a child, passing from feelings of sadness or anger to being cheerful again in a flash. But it didn’t mean Natsuki was naïve or oblivious. She was old enough to realize something was wrong.

 **********

 Rena stood quietly, her eyes darting back and forth between Akane who was helping her put a coat over her hospital gown and the male doctor waiting by the door. “Am I finally going home?”

“I’m sorry, Matsui-san. Your current medical condition doesn’t allow us to discharge you. But I’m hopeful you’ll be able to go back home soon.”

The doctor’s enigmatic words puzzled her and she glanced back to her best friend, but she avoided her gaze. Rena didn’t have the opportunity to speak; the doctor had already opened the bedroom door, leading them outside. Rena grimaced in pain, her head aching at the sudden bright light attacking her pupils and the noise surrounding her. Her body was numb, her brain muddled and she was forced to wrap an arm around Akane’s as they walked down the corridor.

They entered an elevator, Rena’s confusion arose when the floors numbers changed and they reached the underground floors. “Where are you bringing me?”

Rena was destabilized when her question was met with silence. She gave her best friend a side glance, sensing her nervousness. The doors opened and they stepped out of the elevator. They were crossing a new corridor, when Rena abruptly stopped walking. “I don’t want to be here. Bring me back to my room. I want to go home.”

“There is something we first need to do. I promise we will bring you back to your room after,” the doctor said softly.

For the first time, Akane looked her straight in the eye. “This is for your own good. We have… We have to do this.”

Rena went stiff and a bad feeling swept over as she perceived the pain, but mostly guilt reflected in her best friend’s eyes. Akane gently held her by the arm and guided her as they approached an oversized unmarked metal door. The doctor asked them to wait and went through the door, reappearing with a hospital male attendant. “My colleague will walk you through from here.”

Rena entered and shivered at the sudden drop in temperature. She paused, studying the new room they had walked in. On her right, was a small empty waiting room. On her left, were aligned three white doors, two of them labelled with a number.

“Matsui-san, please come with me,” the male attendant addressed her. Rena hesitated, her gut instincts humming with burning insistence to not follow him. Akane gave her an encouraging caress on the shoulder          and she followed him until they faced the door labeled number 2. The male attendant was about to open, when Rena looked over her shoulder, realizing Akane had stayed behind in the waiting room.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Akane said, but her words did little to reassure her. Her friend was calm, but her discomfort palpable.

“Matsui-san, please take all the time you need.” The male attendant opened the door, leaving it ajar. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”

Rena brought her attention back to him; the atmosphere became more and more tight. She didn’t know how long she stood unmoving in front of the door. She was conflicted between her curiosity to discover what was on the other side, and a small voice taunting her at the back of her head that she should flee this place as soon as possible. She forced her feet to move forward and she pushed the door at last, hearing it being shut close being her as she entered.

The air fed her heaving lungs and beating heart as she saw the lifeless body of her wife lying on a trolley, silhouetted by a maroon blanket.

Just the head and shoulders were showing; the rest was hidden underneath the sheet. Her eyes were closed; all the color had drained from her face. There were small bruises and cuts all over her skin, but her face showed signs of having been carefully cleaned up. Rena lifted a shaking hand to her pale face, touching her cold cheek. The contact provoked an electric shock within her. Her brain had blocked everything until now, but reality was impossible to ignore any more.

Tears blinded her eyes and choked her voice. “J-Jurina…”

She watched her lifeless face, her fingers trembling as she reached for her hand underneath the sheet. Rena felt dizzy and sick at the cold contact, vaguely registering the feeling of a hospital band around Jurina’s wrist. Her attention got caught by a small table she hadn’t noticed until now. On top of it laid a few personal belongings she recognized. Amongst them some clothes, a broken umbrella and a wedding ring.

Rena crumbled inside and could hold the heartbreak no longer. Her hand gripped her chest as an indescribable pain sprang from her inner being. She screamed as she fell to her knees and her grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears. The door opened and two arms embraced her, but she found no comfort in her best friend’s embrace. Rena tried to look away, to forget, but the lifeless body was a persistence of vision she couldn’t erase. Jurina, her beloved wife and mother of her child, was dead.

[little-ki]

50 Day Challenge: Baki (Goodbye Summer)

Read on AO3 - 50 Day Challenge Day 6: Baki

Prompt: Go to your nearest book. Turn to page 51. Find the first line of the last paragraph on the page. Use that line to start your scene. 

Collection of the Most Beautiful Poems By: Xu Zhimo

Page 51: 悄悄的我走了 (Quietly quietly I am leaving)

WHY SO MUCH ANGST ASDKASKD. Some people might recognize this passage. For those that don’t, Xu Zhimo is one of China’s most famous poets and these passages are from his poem “Second Farewell to Cambridge”.

I actually used the first passage to start this piece because it starts with the same line as the last paragraph so it’s still valid!! But yes!! Here!! More angst!! (Also this was much longer than expected so more under the cut!)

Song Inspiration: Goodbye Summer – f(x) and D.O. 

Quietly, quietly I am leaving Just as quietly as I came Gently, I wave goodbye To the clouds in the western sky

They knew that it was going to end.

No matter how many moments they spent together, the memories they made, or the sweet murmurs into each others’ ears; this had an expiration date.

Hikari had been personally asked by Elder’s Chiyo and Ebizo to help with the sealing of the Ichibi. She was infuriated that they wanted to take the risk and ignored their messages until Karura personally asked for her assistance. Hikari sent lengthy letters that detailed the risks and complications that could occur, but realized they were adamant and would continue regardless of her answer. After making arrangements with her team she packed up her notes, supplies, and emergency supplies, and made her way to Suna. Everyone had been waiting for her at the entrance and she calmly greeted Temari, Kankuro, and Sasori, and ignored everyone else. It was petty but she was irritated, the sun was blazing, and the disbelieving stares from her assigned escort only served to further irritate her.

Baki’s first impression of their special guest wasn’t… great. He’d long heard rumors of her feats on the frontlines, where she only healed children that were forced onto the battlefield and those that held no ill will (no one could understand how she could differentiate their intentions). She had saved two of Suna’s most revered puppeteers and was especially trusted by the Kazekage’s wife after rescuing their eldest after being kidnapped by rogues. But it wasn’t until the Land of Grass tried to abduct her team that she earned the moniker, The Grim Reaper’s Wife. Grass now ran as a matriarchal country which infuriated their former patriarchal leaders to constantly cough up blood. With the tales of her exploits he hadn’t expected her to be a 4’11” child.

Hikari spent the first couple of months in the Kazekage’s residence, alternating between conducting check ups on Karura and Gaara, playing with Temari and Kankuro, and discussing the sealing with Ebizo and Chiyo. Initially, the Kazekage had tried to hover wherever she went and often demanded her to explain every action. She encased him in a block of ice after tolerating his behavior for two weeks, leaving him unable to move or speak, only able to watch and listen. Her escort had always remained a quiet shadow at her side until she moved against the Kazekage, only to find his feet stuck to the ground and encased in ice. He’d sent wind blades her way, which she blocked with a transparent wall of ice. She could still clearly remember the sheer shock in his eyes (and despite her initial disbelief, the flare of respect that had begun to burn).

Baki had wondered if the rumors were exaggerated until he saw her utilize her ice release without moving a muscle, the sheer control she had over her element choked the anger he felt when she trapped the Kazekage in ice. Elder Chiyo and Elder Ebizo had enjoyed that immensely and constantly utilized it as a threat when they felt that Rasa was going overboard. The memory of the sheer power in her eyes still left him breathless when he remembered it (especially at night). From there he begun watching her even more closely than before. He started to notice that she entertained the children by eating through her masks, and how she easily became sun burned but still refused to remove her mask. The more he thought about her mask, the more curious he became about what was underneath.

Hikari had noticed the change in her escort. It was clear in the beginning that he was only doing it out of obligation, always keeping at a distance but still mindful about her privacy. Nowadays he had been more proactive, interacting more with the children, asking questions as she worked and had even offered to show her around Suna. He remained professional and polite and if not for the blaze in his eyes, she would have thought nothing more about it. What she didn’t understand was why it bothered her so much.

Baki made sure they spent more time together, showing her their markets, academy, and training grounds. He watched her take her time at each location purchasing local trinkets, speaking with the children, and even showed him personally why some swore that her presence on the field meant your time was up. One day, after a particularly brutal match, they were sitting in a cave on the training ground to cool off. He was sitting against the wall with her sitting in front of him and her hands pressed against his chest. Others had mentioned how soothing her healing charkra felt, and despite how often they had been in this position lately, he still had to avert his eyes from her form. This cave had become their favorite and he began to dream of this moment, with the green glow of her hands illuminating her eyes and the beam of the sun that seeped through the ceiling giving her the halo she deserved (she was his angel).  

Hikari had kept her cool. She genuinely enjoyed her time with Baki, who was knowledgeable and polite and found herself looking forward to their discussions. He often told her stories passed down from their people and she found his frank but kind nature refreshing. After months together they had integrated into each others routine, until one day he didn’t show up outside her door for breakfast. She knew he had a mission the day before, but he always made it a point to come by for breakfast the day after he returned. A chill went down her spine when Chiyo came by that night to bring her to the hospital, her heart dropped when she saw his still form on the operating bed.

Baki woke up once during the operation and thought he was dead until he saw her standing at his side. He closed his eyes despite the pain, knowing that he would be fine if she was there (she would hit him when he tells her this later). The second time he woke up, she was sleeping with her arms resting on his bed and the moment his hand touched her head she got up in shock and instantly started checking him again. She kept her head down until he gently pulled her into his arms and felt her tears fall onto his chest. He hugged her tightly against his beating heart as she trembled from the freight (she never told him they lost him once on the table). The third time he woke up, she was still asleep in his arms but her mask was no longer on her face; he pressed a kiss onto her temple and tucked her impossibly close, not able to form words for how he felt.

Hikari stared at the family in front of her. The sealing was done. It was over. After spending 8 months in Suna, her job was done. She had checked the mother and son vigorously and had trained medics to watch over their condition with the promise that they could consult her through letters as needed. There was just one thing left for her to do.

They spent their first and last night together.

It had been beautiful, passionate, and tender, lasting until the sun began to peek through the horizon. By sunrise, only a note remained beside Baki.  

Quietly, quietly I am leaving Just as quietly as I came Careful not to brush away with my sleeve The faintest wisp of a cloud

Authors Note:

I tried playing with a lot of things in this piece, and before you blame Hikari let! Me! Explain!

Hikari's status is neutral and she is very well known as THE Healer that doesn't align herself with any village. If she entered a relationship with Baki, not only would that be considered her "aligning" with Suna, and other villages may not be very accepting or feel threatened by that.

With Gaara just being born and still not knowing how to work with the Ichibi, Suna would be very vulnerable to sneak attacks or ambushes, and basically any attacks. So BOTH parties are aware their relationship wouldn't work (at this moment).

[kylietanie1-blog]

Martin Clunes gets hero's welcome on Doc Martin-mad Pacific island

Martin Clunes gets hero's welcome on Doc Martin-mad Pacific island

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The tribal inhabitants of one of Norfolk Island could probably be forgiven for not knowing who Martin Clunes is.

But when the actor, 55, visited the tiny Pacific land – almost 1,500 miles off the coast of Australia and around the size of Swindon – it transpired they are huge Doc Marin fans.

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Laura and Jason Kenny announce they are expecting a baby

Laura and Jason Kenny announce they are expecting a baby

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Olympic gold medallists Laura and Jason Kenny have announced they are expecting a baby.

Mrs Kenny, 24, shared the news with her 153,000 Instagram followers by posting a picture of the couple’s bikes next to a child’s balance bike.

Their families are said to be ‘absolutely thrilled’ with the new arrival.

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Women-only swimming sessions banned in Denmark

Women-only swimming sessions banned in Denmark

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Aarhus City Council have scrapped women-only sessions at a swimming pool 

The sessions are mainly used by female Muslim migrants who live nearby 

But the authorities say all people need to learn its natural to swim together  

By

Jennifer Newton for MailOnline

Published: 15:41 GMT, 2 February 2017 | Updated: 16:11 GMT, 2 February 2017

Danish authorities have voted in…

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Government would block new Scottish independence vote 

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Nicola Sturgeon reacted with fury today after a Cabinet minister told her to ‘forget’ a second independence referendum.

Sir Michael Fallon signalled that the government would block any bid to call a fresh vote on whether to split the UK – saying she must ‘respect’ the result from 2014.

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Pensioner reveals he has slept with more than 2,000 women

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Chris Culleton, 79, said he has been a ladies’ man all his life and has slept with an incredible 2,084 partners.

A 79-year-old Lothario who claims to have bedded over 2,000 women has decided to give up dating and spend his days fishing.

Hugh Hefner wannabee Chris Culleton said he has been a ladies’ man all his life and has slept with an incredible 2,084 partners.

The pensioner, from…

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Man has mobile phone snatched by a masked thief on MOPED

Man has mobile phone snatched by a masked thief on MOPED

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Two thieves on a moped snatched phone from the unsuspecting victim’s hand 

Rode behind him and grabbed phone as he walked along pavement in London

Man simply stands gobsmacked as he watches the pair ride away with his phone 

By

Amie Gordon For Mailonline

Published: 15:55 GMT, 2 February 2017 | Updated: 16:14 GMT, 2 February 2017

CCTV footage has captured the moment a…

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Teen rape victim Daily Coleman speaks out

Teen rape victim Daily Coleman speaks out

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Nothing remains of the house that once stood on the corner lot of South Scout Ridge Drive in Maryville, Missouri. Its footprint has been erased and work has begun on a new building in its place.

Investigators never established the cause of the enormous fire that ripped through the home in the spring of 2013. But to this day, Melinda Coleman suspects it was started deliberately, a parting…

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Fullerton students arrested for school shooting plot

Fullerton students arrested for school shooting plot

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Two 16-year-old students were arrested on Wednesday on suspicion of plotting a school shooting ‘bigger than Columbine’.

Fullerton Police received a tip about two boys, whose names were not released because they are minors, who were discussing plans at an athletic event on Tuesday to ‘shoot up’ Troy High School.

The person who overheard the conversation told a resource officer that the…

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Justin Welby is confronted by a Brexit supporter on LBC

Justin Welby is confronted by a Brexit supporter on LBC

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This is the moment a Christian Brexiteer confronted the Archbishop of Canterbury on live radio and told him she won’t go to church again because of his ‘appalling’ decision to intervene in the referendum campaign.

Justin Welby shook his head and looked upset as the caller to LBC Radio, Judith from Whitstable, said he should apologise for ‘encouraging us to vote for Remain’.

The head of the…

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HBOS banker jailed for 11 years for £1bn fraud

HBOS banker jailed for 11 years for £1bn fraud

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HBOS banker Lynden Scourfield and his cronies ‘financially raped’ small businesses to fund lavish holidays and sex parties

A corrupt HBOS banker has been locked up for 11 years after he and his cronies ‘financially raped’ small businesses to fund lavish holidays and sex parties with escort girls in one of Britain’s biggest ever frauds.

Lynden Scourfield, 54, a senior director of…

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Americans apologise to Australians for Trump's behaviour

Americans apologise to Australians for Trump's behaviour

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Americans have taken to social media to apologise for Donald Trump‘s behaviour following a hostile phone call between the President and Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.

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