#aaaaand now none of my stuff is in my library

[moonfromearth]

[amaliabalash]

It Chapter Two

Okay y’all I said I wanted to write a post of thoughts I’ve had on the movies (most the second, but here and there from the first), adaptation choices, etc., so here it is after five ten viewings of Chapter Two and a ton of viewings of the first movie as well. I stand by my initial sum up: I love it as a follow up if you’re watching it for the coming of age story of the group of friends that fight an evil being, but it’s mehhhh as a horror movie about a clown that kills children....which means I love it because I don’t give a fuck about the clown. 

I love the Losers love for each other. I hate any moment that separates them or causes conflict between them, because in the book they are magically, instantly united as they join together that summer, and nothing stops that, and that’s one of my favorite things about the book. So the movie taking that complete level of solidarity hurts. But even so, when it comes down to it, again and again we see how much they all love and care for each other and I am all about that. Now below the cut, have 4300 words of rambling thoughts in bullet point form!

Mike: I love and hate what he was given for this movie. Not getting incapacitated by Bowers and hospitalized (as in the book), and instead actually getting to be in the final confrontation? THANK YOU, YES. Lying to the Losers? No, not a fan. At first I was mostly focused on being grateful he was in the final battle because I think it’s awesome they’ve all together, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more upset I am that he still got kinda screwed. He had more to do than he did in the first movie, but then like...he doesn’t get a scene of going and finding the rock and having his own flashbacks, and then he doesn’t get a separate confrontation with Pennywise either once they’re in the sewers (like Ben and Bev, Eddie and Richie, and Bill do). Being the crazy librarian’s assistant is bunk. And the whole Native American ritual shit...

The Ritual of Chüd: I fully understand not doing the ritual exactly like in the book, because hello, a metaphysical battle of wills, biting each other’s tongues in your psyche and getting thrown around is just a wee bit complicated to film. But making it so that Mike got the ritual from Native Americans (the ~mystical face distortion especially bugged me), and then it also didn’t even work...ugh. And again, the lying, ughhhh. A battle of wills was still basically how they defeated It, at least? Also, like, maybe it’s iffy to use some ancient tribal ritual that Bill got from a book, too, but I think it works (in a story sense, I mean) because they’re kids when they first try it. They go “hey, there’s this thing, we believe it’s the answer” and so it works. And it works so much better as a thing the kids found in a book and believed in, than as a ritual adult Mike got from Native Americans that never even worked. However, James McAvoy’s delivery of the line, “You stole it...from Native Americans?” is incredible and hilarious. And on the note of the smoke scene...

The Clubhouse: I don’t fucking care how relatively little sense it made to include the clubhouse, and how Ben’s “the hole was already dug out and oh hey btw I like architecture we forgot to mention that in the last movie” was paper thin, because I AM SO HAPPY THAT THEY MADE THE CLUBHOUSE. I’m glad they didn’t retroactively have them do the smoke scene, because it REALLY wouldn’t have made sense with the first film to them suddenly have done that in the midst of everything and not used it, but I’m sad it wasn’t in the first film to start with. I understand that the budget, like, doubled for chapter two. Happy they included the clubhouse at all, but super eh on including the smoke scene in the way they did. Again, the kids going “hey let’s try this thing” and it working through belief makes so much more sense to me. BUT CLUBHOUSE! :D

Stan: fuuuuuuuuck. They gave Stan so much more in chapter two than in one, somehow? I hate that in the book, the only thing we get of adult Stan is from his wife’s perspective, and then he’s dead. By giving Stan the letter at the end, as well as his added kid scenes, I feel like Stan was given some justice. And on the small book nod end, I loved him doing the bird puzzle, because book Stan is a big ol’ bird nerd. Also when Stan asks what he looks like when he’s older in that first scene and Bev has that look and says like now but taller? OW. ALSO the head-spider thing, “so you don’t get spiders in your hair,” nice horrible touch there. And this isn’t a Stan characterization thing, but one of the legs going through Stan’s eye and Richie being the one to say “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” also feels appropriate because eye horror is a book Richie thing. And on the note of the letter (which I love), I want to know what Stan wrote to Patty. Because like, wow, after her husband seemingly out of nowhere kills himself, she still sends these letters to his old friends. Patty Uris, you’re a good woman.  

Ben: I am generally in favor of Ben/Bev, and thought they had some nice moments in the new movie, but I haaaaate that Ben kept the yearbook page. It made no sense, and it was kind of weird for him to like...obsess over that for the next 27 years of his life when he hadn’t seen her? I think it would have been sweeter, honestly, if upon returning to Derry he was just HIT with how much he loved her, through that funky magic that bonded the Losers and broke them apart. Back in Derry, the feelings return freshly, even if they’re 27 years old (like happened for Richie, according to Bill Hader and my heart). If that had happened, and then they just...ended up sticking together afterwards, I’d prefer it. Lose the kiss, lose the yearbook thing, but keep the end scene with them on the boat, that’s fine. Also why the fuck was Ben in summer school, that flashback didn’t make sense, should’ve been in the library, please. If only we could have had a middle ground (aka the book) between the 1990 series where Ben was kind of presented as a manwhore and the movie where he’s still in love with the same girl from when he was 13 and that’s why he was alone. In the book he just...didn’t have much of an interest in the romance I think? Idk. Ben keeping the yearbook page is dumb and it was overdone but otherwise Ben and Bev are cute. But as for the first movie and flashback moments, I love little baby Ben Hanscom with all my heart, what a sweetheart. Sorry they made you creepily obsess on the same girl for the rest of your life, Ben. 

MEMORIES: THEY WERE ALLOWED TO KEEP THEIR MEMORIES! I AM SO GRATEFUL! Some people are like “but now Richie has to remember this” and I’m like, the book fucks me up when I read it knowing that none of them will remember each other, and that none of them will remember Eddie and his sacrifice, how bravely he fought, fuuuuuck. So I’d rather sad remembering and honoring than completely forgetting.  This is the happier ending, it really is. 

Bill: He wasn’t really sick??? ow??? Like it makes his determination to search for Georgie make more sense, but oof. I have mixed feelings on this because in the book Bill is genuinely too sick to go with Georgie, but like...the “just because you did x doesn’t mean this horrible thing is your fault” is a really poignant emotional point to make. On the acting side, both Jaeden Martell and James McAvoy did really well with the stuttering, not making it over the top or just...forgetting about it. It felt realistic to those I’ve known with stutters. I think I’m gonna make a separate bullet point for how the marriages were handled, but, it makes me sad that Bill and Audra weren’t shown to be loving like in the book. Bill actually had a good relationship with his wife and that’s a bummer to take away. The choice to have Bill’s fervor in going after It right then be about seeing another kid get taken instead of because he finds Audra’s purse, though, seemed like a solid choice, it worked really well. It keeps the story tighter in a sense, because Bill’s guilt about Georgie is shown to be one of his driving forces across both movies. And...okay that ties right into the marriages thing so...

Marriages: I am grateful that they didn’t have Audra and Tom go to Derry like in the book. There is SO MUCH book content that didn’t make it in, stuff that is really plot relevant, but like...fitting all of that in would have been crammed and we’d lack the emotional depth. Chapter Two is about the Losers, and the sacrifices that were made were there so that we could really focus on the Losers and their relationships with teach other and their experiences. It makes me sad that Bill doesn’t get his positive relationship with Audra, that they’re not shown to actually love each other, that he’s no longer wearing a wedding ring in that last scene with the phone call with Mike, but god. If they had had Audra and Tom come to Derry, it would have muddled the story more than it’d flesh it out. So not worth it to waste a single moment on that, as much as I wish Tom still got killed by It because it’s what he deserves. I almost wish that Bev’s relationship with Tom had been changed, but idk what I’d change it to. Including the abuse was rough, but at least it wasn’t as severe as in the book? It couldn’t be, anyway, because again, he doesn’t follow her to Derry, so he can’t be quite as evil as he is in the book or it’d be incomplete to expect her to just...leave him. Aaaaand Eddie and Myra. I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY CAST THE SAME ACTRESS AS MYRA AND HIS MOM. It’s completely book accurate, there’s that bit of narrative where he acknowledges that looking at a younger pic of his mom next to one of Myra and they could be twins, but damn, that casting choice. I feel bad for Myra, in all incarnations. A character meant only to be the embodiment of an oedipal complex...or, the projection of one? However you’d say that.

Bill & Bev: a whole bullet point just to say, thank god they didn’t sleep together, that one little memory based kiss and move on? THANK YOU. And that kiss worked, not like the wtf so awkward kiss between Bill and Bev at the restaurant in the mini-series. Also not driving home the “Audra looks like Bev.......” thing. I’m cool with that. Though I still think it’d have been hilarious if they’d cast Bryce Dallas Howard as Audra.

Beverly: I was talking to a friend about the first movie a few months ago and she said she hated how Bev was made into a damsel in the first movie, needing to be rescued...and I can get that, but compared to the book and the 1990 series, Bev gets SO MUCH MORE and I love her so much. I love that she’s pushing them to keep fighting against It in the first one, and that in the second she’s supporting the others still and encouraging, and in the final battle moments, she’s never a damsel. It’s just when she was in the deadlights. The scene with Mrs. Kersh was fucking insane though. Like, hugely increased budget from the first movie, and....they choose to spend it on a naked granny monster????? TWICE???? I feel like that scene could have been legitimately creepy but then NAKED. GRANNY. MONSTER. I have nothing deep to say on that scene but I’m so baffled. 

CGI and the Monsters: On the note of the atrocity of the naked granny monster...it must say a lot about what Andy Muschietti is afraid of that he includes these weird, gross CGI monsters. Also I feel like he’s afraid of old age, between the Mrs. Kersh monster and the focus on Mr. Keene’s old-ness. But like...the leper and the naked granny monster are both just really weird and gross, but not like scary? I mean, the leper being a physical representation of infection is specific to Eddie, and it sticking it’s tongue down Mrs. Kaspbrak’s throat is truly utterly disgusting, but...again, the horror of it is grossness, not scariness? And god the fucking naked granny monster just kills me because that scene would legit be scary if not for that. Instead, multiple times I’ve heard people in the theater whisper “what the fuck” during that scene. 

The Losers Fighting: Possibly my biggest complaint about the two movies is the choice to have the Losers have big fights.  For Dramatic Movie Purposes I get it, I guess, but in the book as each Loser joins, that’s it, there’s no question, fate is clicking into place, they are meant to be together. So the fight after the House on Neibolt in the first movie has always bugged me. Mike lying to them bugs me. Them being like, “fuck this I’m out” bugs me. However, the ONE concession I’ll make on this point is that at least the fight in the first movie was used in the second as an excuse to show new flashbacks. But the lack of unity is always gonna make me sad about these adaptations. 

Pennywise: I am NOT saying I want more Pennywise in the movie, but I think that there is a slight plot hole in the way that his motivations and his effect aren’t directly addressed in the films. Like, including the Adrian Mellon murder without including the whole thing where it’s relevant to It because It’s evil seeps into Derry and is an integral part of Derry makes the scene make less sense. Though, again, I’m cool with them not including Derry just completely falling apart when It dies because of that connection, bc that’d be too much time not about the Losers. But, yeah, motivation wise, it doesn’t feel clear why It wants the Losers to come home. Knowing in the book that It experienced fear and then true anger for the first time, that It wants revenge, makes the ultimately Dumbass Move of luring them back at least make some sense. 

Richie: I’m gonna try to focus on Richie things that don’t necessarily relate to Reddie first. I was super unsure about Bill Hader when I heard about his casting at first, because I’d never seen him do the drama I knew the role would need, but damn. He was a perfect Richie, from the comedy to the holy shit drama pain. And it’s a bummer that the whole cgi thing was needed (though, like, it was, because Finn Wolfhard does not look the same anymore) because I’d like to see the more nuanced version of his performance of the arcade scene and stuff. I’m so grateful for the depth given to Richie with the closeted storyline, as much as it hurts. This movie let (some) characters have some actual depth and it’s wonderful. Let’s see... I kind of hate that there was still the fatphobic focuses in the story as a whole, but like...those lines only coming from the trashmouth was at least appropriate. And his delivery throughout his whole bit with Bill outside the Neibolt house in Chapter Two about Richie said it best last time, is delivered so perfectly and I love it, particularly, “You’re lucky we’re not measuring dicks?” Excellent job, Bill Hader. And even though, as I said above, I am no fan of the Losers fighting and Richie trying to run off, the part where Ben says “at least I got Richie to stay” and then Richie bursts out of the back of the hotel to sneak off is way too funny to me. Him not writing his own material is kind of hilarious. And it goes in with a theme in the movie where the Loser’s adult success is a little bit tainted, which isn’t necessarily the case in the book - other things are off, no children, marrying their parents, etc., but their success doesn’t really have anything off about it. Book Richie finally does perfect his voices and that’s how he makes his money. But I’ll accept him not actually being great at comedy (not that the bit we saw at the start of the movie was great comedy) for the set up of the joke of Eddie saying “I FUCKING KNEW IT!” also oops mentioned Eddie. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  So why not go there now! 

Eddie and Richie: I didn’t think they’d actually fucking do it. I saw a still of young Richie next to the R+ on the kissing bridge, and Reddies freaking out about WHAT IF, and I was like “that’d be cool but lol no they won’t actually do it.” But then they ACTUALLY DID IT. I’m grateful I saw the movie at the first possible showing because I DIDN’T see the still with young Richie where you can see the full R+E until after, so it was a surprise. This is again where I applaud Bill Hader’s performance, and the directing and script writing and all, because all of those little moments where Richie is just attuned to Eddie are so great. He’s always been the one Richie focused on most for jokes (defense mechansim!), but then calling out for Eddie every time there’s potential danger and they’re separated - when the bat wing fortune cookie is attacking Eddie, in Neibolt when the spider-head monster is temporarily gone, when the balloon starts inflating after the ritual and they’re moving apart. And then of course we have the whole end, his desperation over wanting to save Eddie, his inability to accept that it’s over. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck! And god, like, he seems to just forget to even care about the whole Pennywise thing once Eddie’s hurt, he’s like “we gotta get him out of here” ignoring the “we still have to deal with this fucking clown” part of it entirely. On the lighter note though...the bickering! I LOVE THE BICKERING SO MUCH. In both movies, even during serious conversations, there’s so often Eddie and Richie bickering in the background (as well as main scene bickering, of course, like the hammock, or Richie teasing Eddie about getting married, his mom, his job, etc). In Chapter Two you can hear them bickering about Eddie saying he’s got these various ailments and Richie saying it’s in his head and he just reads shit on the internet while Bill and Bev talk about life, and down in the sewers Eddie has to pick on Richie bringing an actual token and they bicker about how that’s not gonna burn well neither will the inhaler. I LOVE IT. Also, in a story so focused on mirroring the past, Eddie should have kissed Richie out of the deadlights like Ben kissed Bev, that is all. I love every single thing about the scene with the three doors, but I especially love how those dumbasses, once Pennywise is no longer reaching for them, suddenly stop finding the dog behind a door deep in the sewers/cave/whatever suspicious??? They’re like, oh look this is fine, what a cute puppy that randomly made it down here??? What even, and I love it. The hammock scene is ridiculously adorable and Richie’s little sigh when Eddie’s sticking his foot in his face, so great. I have a lot to say about Eddie’s paralysis in the face of Richie being attacked, but honestly I feel that’s more Eddie than it is Reddie related so I’ll get there later, but Richie being the one to encourage him in this totally sincere way and then make the fat joke about Myra...in character af and a really charming scene despite the fact that, again, I am not a fan of fat jokes? That is just the language these two idiots speak. A moment of sincerity cannot possibly be left alone.  And on that note...

Eddie’s Death: okay that “paragraph” was very long so I’m making a separate bullet point for this, at least as it relates to Reddie. I could just quote line by line and be like “oh, shit, my heart” but that isn’t really relevant. Overall, that’s my sentiment as Richie is trying to save Eddie and so focused on him. But this is more about the “I fucked your mother” bit. I saw a lot of people upset about that, and others seemed to understand that it’s not a throwaway joke (like the post I JUST reblogged, but I was thinking about this before). Dumb jokes and bickering is their love language, duh. And I think in those moments, it legit made the most sense for Eddie to say “I fucked your mother” to Richie, the king of inappropriate your mom jokes (at least in reference to Eddie - I fucked your mom, Eddie’s mom’s vagina on Halloween, smells worse than Eddie’s mom’s slippers, etc.). I’m working on a theory that not only is that a communication of love/the importance of their relationship (like, he makes the effort to make that joke when he’s fucking DYING, something specifically for Richie), but about comfort. Dunno if it’s about comforting himself in the face of knowing he’s dying, or comforting Richie, or both, but...honestly, falling into a familiar pattern after all of this sincerity and fear just came pouring out of Richie makes perfect fucking sense to me. And, there’s also nearly a solid 2.5 minutes between cutting away from that scene and Richie running to join them in the final takedown (and tearing It’s fucking arm off, which is amazing, and I love Bev’s little shocked face right after that happens). There’s room for conversation, for sincere comments, if you want to imagine them there. But I’m not disappointed they didn’t do any real “I love you” moments or something, because I think we got a very in character and appropriate response. And I’ll say again, Richie’s anguish and denial, holy shit, my heart hurts. 

Eddie: Eddie Kaspbrak, my love. I was saving Eddie for last because I have so much to say but idek how to say it. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting adult Eddie to have the same hyper, angry energy of kid Eddie, let alone an amped up version, but I LOVE THIS SMALL, ANGRY MAN. James Ransone was brilliant casting. When he was first cast (not that I knew who he was), I was like, eh he looks alright, we’ll see. But watching him in action and watching Jack Dylan Grazer in action, damn, they are well matched. And their eyes are very alike. But more than the physicality, just in general, damn he was a great Eddie. I’m not super solid on how well he matches up to book Eddie’s characterization overall, but if I see a major overlap in book and movie Eddie in any book scene, it’s when Eddie sprays his inhaler at the giant eyeball and just flips out: ““Fight It!” Eddie raved at the others. “It’s just a fucking Eye! Fight It! You hear me? Fight It, Bill! Kick the shit out of the sucker! Jesus Christ you fucking pussies I’m doing the Mashed Potatoes all over It AND I GOT A BROKEN ARM!”" But anyway. Movie Eddie. I love his angry bravado, because you KNOW so much is bravado. That one post that says Eddie has small dog syndrome is fucking legit. Eddie is hilarious throughout (again, kudos to James fucking Ransone), but then the emotional scenes? Oh my GOD the emotional scenes!!!  Eddie has moments of fear but still mostly maintains that bravado until the spider head thing attacks (even before it attacks Richie specifically, you can tell he’s pinned to the wall in fear). And after Richie is saved, and Bill comes to yell at him, BOOM the emotion kills me. That shield is gone and he’s just back to a scared little kid, and there’s such an emotional realness to the rest of his scenes (except when he’s bickering with Richie, of course). He’s scared and he’s hurt. And the way the Losers support him through that - Richie talking Eddie up to encourage him, reminding him all of the ways he’s been badass so far, and the entire interaction with Bev “This kills monsters” “Does it?” “If you believe it does.” His face, the gentleness of that scene, it kills me and I love them so much. It’s just a beautiful moment. Also beautiful on the other end of the spectrum is Eddie psyching himself up to save Richie this time, dammit, “IF YOU BELIEVE IT DOES! BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER!” And then his face! Actually, his face when he first sees Richie in the deadlights is worth mentioning, and his “holy shit!” and then happiness after (you know, until THAT happens). IT GIVES ME FEELINGS. Ummmm let’s see, oh, I fucking LOVE that they referenced the gazebo line holy shit! Imagine being Jack Dylan Grazer and having your improv from when you were 11/12 become not only one of the most iconic lines in the first movie, but get referenced in the second!!! For mirroring kind of purposes, when they go down the well, Eddie is the one to mention grey water first in both movies, love that. Also love that in the first movie he has the line about how 89% or whatever of home accidents happen in the bathroom, then he gets stabbed in the bathroom. Which, like, that scene? Again, he is so fucking FUNNY. The initial shock of “HOLY SHIT HE JUST GOT STABBED IN THE FACE” fights with “HIS RESPONSE IS SO DAMN FUNNY.” His faces all the way through to “you should cut that fucking mullet, it’s been like thirty years man” is GOOD. SHIT. I love Eddie Kaspbrak so much. Also the delivery of “what the fuck!” after the leper run in as an adult. Oh, and speaking of the leper, Eddie Kaspbrak saves the fucking day by helping them understand how to actually fucking kill It, the way he almost actually killed it earlier. He’s fucking dying and he has this realization, this way to help them, and I’m just gonna be a broken record of I LOVE EDDIE. And I love James Ransone’s portrayal (and Jack Dylan Grazer, for that matter, since I am talking about both movies kinda though mostly Chapter Two). 

...and that’s more than sufficient for now. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #204

“welcome to the gospel of dismay.”

Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? I don't believe so. What has been bothering you a lot lately? Just job stuff... My VR coach and I are having difficulty finding something suitable for me (or something I'm even qualified for) to the point it's looking like I have no choice but to reach out of my comfort zone quite a bit. Thankfully, whatever I do, she goes to work with me and my case isn't closed until I feel totally comfortable at the job, but I just don't want to hop around five times until I find something that fits. I'm just ready to be settled into a job that's not torture for me. What (or who) have you been missing lately? I've been missing Sara really, really badly. My friend Alex, too. It's seemed lately that I only matter when she wants to talk, solely about her boyfriend. As for what, motivation... It's been running low low low lately. Miss having the drive to write like I used to. Miss hobbies. I miss doing things. Are you trustworthy? Yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? In few situations, such as not to hurt other's feelings. Have you ever hallucinated? When coming off of a medication, yes. I saw moving shadows. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open. Roman would neeeever let me sleep with it closed, but even then, I prefer not to have it closed. My mom sleeps right outside my room on the couch, and even though we're sleeping, it gives me a natural sense of security to be able to see her. I'm such an infant. By God, do I need to loosen up on my attachment to her. What flags do you have in your room, if any? None. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Recovery is the best thing, as for who, Sara. Although in some ways you could say Jason just because of how he changed me to an incredible degree and brought about the development of a lot of strength and less naivety, plus a LOT of self-discovery. I guess it depends on how you look at the question. What is the worst decision you ever made? Essentially turning Jason into a god. Letting my life depend on him loving me. Do you miss college? Jfc, I miss school PERIOD. I don't need to give the sob story about how I'm like a prisoner to my house again and how I don't really have friends. I miss having a purpose, and I neeeeed to be exposed to strangers again for social exercise, as well as hopefully to make friends. I just want something to do and work towards my career. I stg my fucking old college better get their shit together so I can go next semester. I will actually lose my shit otherwise. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? I think I have by accident before. I still call an old teacher that's now a family friend "2nd Mom" sometimes. What is your favorite arcade game? Idk what are "normal" ones. Oh, well, do crane machines count? So rigged, but they're fun. Do you feel neglected? No, for the most part. Those most important in my life are doing everything to make sure I can handle the "real" world one day. What school subject(s) are/were your best? English, art, and science. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don't have any. What season is your birthday in? Winter. Name 3 creative people you know. Sara, Connie, and Emma to name just a few. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Markiplier for work ethic, creativity, compassion, wisdom, determination, etc. etc. etfuckingc., Shane Dawson for kindness, aaaaand uhhhh Arin Hanson for how down-to-earth and chill he is behind his goofy exterior. What color was your first car? Haven't had my first one yet. What year did you graduate? 2014. When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? Not since early February. Have you ever been scammed? Ummmm idk, maybe? Are you allergic to pollen? Yes. What style of wedding dress do you like best? Ballgown. Are you over your first love? Yes. Do you talk on the phone a lot? No. Would you rather call or text? Text, big time. Do you always answer your phone? Most times. When was the last time you went to a party? Nicole didn't really have a "party," nor did Sara, so technically my nephew's birthday in August. What was the last thing you ate? A bagel. What’s the last book you checked out from the library? I couldn't tell you. Do you have a twitter? Yeah, but I post nothing. It only exists to like Mark's shit lmao. If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? ^ Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom. What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs eons ago. What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? Hot pink. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Alex. Who sent the last e-mail you got? Mad Ethel's tattoo parlor. I was talking with them about enhancing my tat I got in tribute to Mark; I don't think it looks spacey enough at all, so I'm going to a more professional artist. I mean I like what it is now, but I want to love it. I got a price estimate, aaand it's probably gonna be a while. What song is currently stuck in your head? "Legs Up" by Jeffree Star bye I'mma go jump off a bridge. Do you have a favorite shape? Of basic shapes, circles. What color are the sheets on your bed? White, which I hate; between Roman and Teddy, you can tell it needs to be changed desperately. What time do you usually go to bed? It can range from very rarely as early as 7:00 (I have to be having a baaaaad day) to as late as midnight. Yeah. Do you ever use coloring books? Not anymore. Are you planning on watching the Olympics? I never do. Do you pronounce the word "often" with or without a "t" in the middle? With. Have you ever been on a trapeze? No. Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? Omfg GIMME. Are there any waterfalls near where you live? No. Do you like seafood? No, solely shrimp prepared in certain ways. Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? In middle school. Then at my two jobs. If so, what did it look like? Middle school was khaki pants with plain tops of only certain colors, like white or light blue (those may have been the only options, even). I don't remember the work ones, I was there so briefly. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? No. Do you own a Polaroid camera? No. Do you enjoy baking? I don't enjoy cooking period. What’s your favorite type of flower? Orchids. Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? Back home from Illinois. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Sara. What is something you think is underrated? Hm. Probably certain shows or movies that aren't coming to mind. Ah, "The Cat in the Hat" with Mike Myers is certainly one for me. It's such a meme that it's awful, but I love that movie. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Like 65*F. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I BETTER have a stable job. How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? Not often at all. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? Sigh, reading. That hobby died at the hospital, when all I had to do was read and color all day every day because the mental institutions here are godawful. I really do miss reading. What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? Ha. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Just the normal spicy kind. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? I don’t have a car. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? Michigan. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, here in NC. West? Illinois. How often do you run the dishwasher? We don't have one. Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? Sink. Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. I have no desire for kids, I hate shopping, I have no interest in fashion... Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. I still don't want kids/don't have any kids. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Not really, but I suppose you could say my late grampa's old "cowboy" hat with feather tassels hanging on the wall is? It's aaaalways been on the walls in all our houses. Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? I dunno. I don't use any. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? Mom majors in social work; Dad never went. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? No. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't remember. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? Idr. How old were you when you learned how to swim? Again, idr. How do you react when someone is rude to you? I get really embarrassed for whatever reason and also verbally impulsive; you don't know what's gonna come out of my mouth. Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? No, but then again, I don't know if "too clingy" exists for me. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? It's too goddamn hot and humid as FUCK and all the insects are out. Do you have a Netflix account? Yes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? Honestly, I can't even tell you. I've been on so, so few vacations, and those I have are almost exclusively to the beach, which I don't like. How long does it take to get there? The beach is ~2+ hours depending on which one we're going to. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? When I fully let Jason go, I guess. I don't think I've had a massive change since then. What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I never go into my sister's old room. What is the last random act of kindness you did? Don't drag me for playing WoW please okay. But anyway me and another player were heading to an old raid, and I flew to the spawn point of an incredibly rare mob that drops a mount to see if it was up; he was, and the guy was super thankful I checked for him (I already had it, so it wasn't for my own benefit). Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? I do the opposite, really... as much as I hate that. I learned to finally keep the lights on in the room I'm in to combat depression, and after finding that it truly works well (if you have depression, seriously, LIGHT THAT ROOM UP), if it's even SLIGHTLY darker without it, that ceiling light's going on. Then at night, Mom likes me to keep the living room light on so it looks like more people are home (it's for safety). Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Nooooooo. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? I LAAAAAAAAAHV them! Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? "I’ve had sex dreams but they weren’t kinky." <<<<<<<<<< Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? I have been craaaazy about Caleb Hyles covers lately. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? Yes. That's when I finally ended the "thing" with Joel, I think. If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? If it's something I actually wrote instead of something I shared (which is almost exclusively what I do), I get really self-conscious and automatically embarrassed because my head screams "NOBODY CARES." Which friend do you confide in most? Easily Sara. Do you wear a cross? No. What is your opinion on Arby's? Ew. When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? I don't know. Haven't really thought about it, and besides, I think it'd depend on the layout. What is your favorite doughnut? Glazed. Closely followed by classic/cake. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? HA bitch we're poor. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? Didn't read the books or watch the movies. What is your favorite party game? Mario Kart. Do you or your parents rake your yard? No. Were you pro-Obama? I was indifferent considering I didn't know enough about him. What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? *shrugs* What was the last illegal thing you did? Downloaded music. Who did you last go to the movies with? Ummm... Mom, I think? What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Do you have any family members in the military right now? No. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? No. When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Like... every day for a long, long time now. I just want to have a job or be in school. I want to make progress towards a successful future. I know that's an extremely unhealthy desire to want to zoom through each day, but it's hard to cherish every, identical day lately. Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? No. Have you ever heard voices? Audibly? I don't think so. Do you believe in angels and demons? I don't really know. I know there's life after death, but like, I don't know if your soul is "categorized." Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? I can't really get into that as I don't know the full story... Dad was good friends with them, but Mom got along with them too, and came divorce time, they turned evil to Mom. I don't know things that were said. Did your Barbies go on dates? I don't remember. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. She's the one who talked me through the revelation. Where did you meet your first crush? We went to the same school. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? No. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah. Who is your favorite little girl? My niece. What do you want the most in life? Happiness. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? Letting Jason become everything. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? I wonder quite a bit who I'd be if the breakup never happened. When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? No. Even when someone is home, I keep it cracked so it doesn't get so humid. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Uhhhhh would any female not choose Amy Lee. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, rock, indie. Where did you buy your dishes from? I have NO idea. We've had the same fancy-ish dishes my entire life. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? In my lifetime, no. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? I have no clue. What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? I also don't know. Have you ever been on a ship? No, just boats. Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? I'd have to think way too long on this. ACTUALLY. Maybe the Cheshire cat, off the top of my head. What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? None. Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? Yeah. What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? ACTUALLY fuck off. Coming from someone who is overweight, get out of here with that shit. Don't normalize an unhealthy body. Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? Uh, other than in a sexual context, I don't think so, no. WAIT NO I bit my sister's back so hard as a kid that she bled, so probably. Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) Well read above. Ever gave one? Yeah. Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? I'm shy as fuck. Do you think it's weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? If you do think it is, I want nothing to do with your ass. It's 2019. Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? More than words can explain. My awkwardness, stuttering, lack of comfort with eye contact, and my body. Are you flirty at all? In certain instances with an s/o. Are you racist at all? No. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) It depends on the disability. With my own issues, I need to be able to handle theirs. If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? Call the police. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? If I was to have kids, I'd rather them be my own or wife's if I'm with a woman. But again, I don't want kids period. What would you class as cheating on someone? As soon as you're hiding shit regarding another person from your partner. Do you try to be politically correct? Only to a certain degree. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? That's hard. I love seahorses, sea turtles, jellyfish, dolphins, whales... Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? I don't think so. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Studs. Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? It wasn't humiliating, at least back then when I had a healthy body. I have mixed emotions about its mandatory status... Like, exercise should absolutely be encouraged, but P.E. classes tend to be entirely inflexible in regards to accommodating different people's limits and conditions. Do you recycle? Sadly no. We have to drive to the dump in order to, and Mom got tired of it. Are you interested in current world issues? Not even nearly as much as I should. Do you think you are mature, or immature? It depends on the situation. What kind of career are you interested in? It'd be great if I could survive just off of photography, but odds are I won't be able to. So I'm trying to go back to college and major in zoology to be an out-on-the-field zoologist. Do you own a pair of sunglasses? No. Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? None; my hair is really short. When it was long, I used hair ties. How badly do you get acne? (If at all) I don't anymore, just the occasional pimple usually around that time of the month. What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? YOU ARE ASKING THE WRONG PERSON. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? For those who don't know me thoroughly, I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if someone thought I was a lazy freeloader going nowhere. I feel like most people think that anyway because I'm going through hell to get a job, don't have friends, and am not back in school yet. How many text messages do you have in your inbox atm? No unread ones. When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? Last week or so when I deeply debated on whether or not to get rid of Kaiju (my juvenile don't-touch-me iguana). In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? Math and economics. Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? No. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? I believe that was my VR coach? Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? My old high school friend Robert. This dude's working at NASA while I'm at home every day at my laptop. I'm an adult. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My mom. What does your handwriting look like? It's a mix of (mostly) cursive and print, and I'm usually told it's "too" fancy and hard to read. Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? No. Who were your best friends in primary school? Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Do you still speak to any of them? No. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a drink. I don't remember the last time I used one. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? Maybe Vans? Are you more masculine or feminine? Idk. If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? Idk. Rainbow meerkat pawprints going up in a spiral around the cup? First thing that came to mind. What is the best beach you’ve been to? I've only been to two (I think), and I don't care enough about beaches or remember well enough to answer this. What is one thing you physically can’t do? There is no way in Heaven or Hell I could clean up vomit without hurling myself. Have you ever been to a funeral? Yes. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? No. Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? No. What is your favorite park? Disney World, of course. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you chew gum regularly? No. Where did you go on your first train ride? N/A Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? Most likely. What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) None, really. I grew up automatically biased to the Carolina Hurricanes in hockey thanks to Dad, but I don't actually care. Do you dunk your cookies in milk? Oreos, preferably. Others, sometimes. What is something you are confident about? My knowledge of meerkats. Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? I don't really know if this "counts" as it was the product of severe anxiety over vomiting, but in middle school, I would constantly think I was going to be sick and took one Peptobismol literally everyday at school, usually in I think second period when my anxiety was bad enough. It finally ended when we ran out and I had to go without it and I saw I was okay. I was so happy when that shit ended. How do you feel about needles? Eh. The feeling is obviously unpleasant, but they don't bother me much; not at all for tattoos. Getting shots or blood drawn is a bit more "ew" because of the needle's length. But anyway, in general, needles are okay. What is your favorite accent to listen to? Maybe French for women, British for men. Or British for both, idk. What was the reason you last got dressed up? Went job hunting with my VR coach. Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? Not really cruel, no. ^ What were they? N/A Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? A bit loose. ^ What about on your preferred gender? I like both men and women, so. I tend to like more form-fitting on women and looser on men. Maybe. Idk actually. But pants. Give me skinny jeans on everyone. What do you do when you are really, really mad? Be WAY too impulsive about what comes out of my mouth. And I cry. Would you rather go naked than wear fur? Omfg don't do this. I guess wear fur. I hate my body too much. But I'd feel absolutely godawful. Do you put a line through your 7's? Yes. ^ What about your Z's? Yes. What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? More than anything else, rape. Are you able to forgive and forget? It's rare I'm unable to forgive, but forget? Nope. Do you like cold pizza? Yeah. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Kiwi, too. What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? Peach/mango mix. Do you like broccoli and cheese? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. What about potatoes and cheese? Yeah. Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? Not lately. Toaster or toaster oven? I've only ever had a toaster oven. I like how you can see if something is starting to burn, anyway. What are you most known for? Likes meerkats more than she likes 99% of the human population. I keep my worship of Mark Fischfuckface on the down low irl so meerkats win overall. Do you have any reputations? What are they? I don't think so. Do you wear band shirts? Yeah. ^ What band was on the last one you wore? Uh... shit. I think Metallica? It's rare I have to put on "real" clothes now (yes, I stay in pjs all day bc I never leave the house), so idrk. Do you own any hats? Describe them. No. What about masks, you got any? Describe those. No. What was the last thing to leave you speechless? Watching the spire of the Cathedral collapse yesterday. That whole thing broke my heart. I know the serious valuables were saved, but still, there was so much damage to 800 years of incredible art and history. Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? I have like... one irl, serious friend. They both love him. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes. As if she wasn't an awful one. Describe your favorite pair of socks. They're covered in meerkats. :'D Thanks, big sister. Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? No. Have any self-done piercings? No, not doing that shit. I'm too serious about piercings being done well and in the most hygienic manner. Ever pierced someone else? No, for the same reasons as above. Do you get distracted easily? Holy shit, yes. Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? It's anxiety-inducing as hell. How do you feel about getting new neighbors? Idc. How many ceiling fans are in your home? None. Do you tweet your life away? I don't use it. How do you feel about shameless self promoting? Ever since actually trying to get out in the freelance photography world, I get it, as uncomfortable as it is. HOWEVER, there are absolutely places where doing it is inappropriate. When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? Yeah. What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? Yeah.

[girlbookwrm]

i can’t believe i’m doing this

@jhscdood​ listen i got No Time to write the fics for this right now, but have some Fellowship of the Pod People (but not like that) Headcanons.

@ all of the rest of you, please for Eru’s sake help yourselves: literally nothing would make me happier than to have someone else write this shit so i could read it like the lazy asshole i am.

None of this will make a DAMN LICK OF SENSE if you aren’t familiar with the Not Your Mama’s ABO Clownfish AU that @silentwalrus1​ created with @skellerbvvt​ and @galwednesday​ in the Magnificently Weird MCU Stucky Gem Scents & Sensibility 

shit this got hella long don’t look at me but please all feel free to correct/expand/modify because I just whipped these off to decompress after a long day

The Númenóreans are responsible for all that “reef” “pod” and assorted “fishy” terminology, so while “pod” “reef” etc may be the accepted academic names, they’re often replaced with local variants and colloquialisms. The Númenóreans picked this linguistic quirk up from the sea-obsessed Noldor elves, so it’s sometimes used in Rivendell and Lothlorien too.

(The Sindar elves fucking hate that)

(Sindar use bee euphemisms instead. It’s all “hives” and “skeps” etc etc etc. Try to tell me Thranduil isn’t a Queen Bee. I FUCKIN DARE U. The wine is all honey mead. Hex honeycomb aesthetic for the win. Even the dungeons.)

(FYI Dwarves ALSO have a Hexagonal Aesthetic and that just Really Gets Thranduil’s Goat.)

everyone’s got their own local names for alphas and omegas too because seriously who fucking came up with that, i bet there’s a whole appendix at the end of the red book about terminology and shit

(Now I’m having meta thoughts about linguistics and there being a clownfish!Tolkien to go with the clownfish!Middle Earth. And now I’m thinking about the Inklings being a pod and if i follow THAT rabbit hole any further I’ll fu cki ng  AS C E N DHJKfghjk.)

Anyway

Men smell gross. Everyone else is agreed upon this. Unflattering comparisons to badgers and weasels have been made.

This makes “MANFLESH” 12000% more hilarious ur welcome

it’s funny cuz Men are big into perfumes. Incense! Herb Sachets! Oils and tinctures! Have you ever seen a olde tyme perfumers’ box? That kinda shit. Everyone has their Signature Smell.

but elves especially are like you still smell like man stop trying to hide it.

The Dúnedain embrace The Musk. (some have fully weaponized it)

this is very important: Aragorn Smells Amazing. (to be clear, still very Man Smelling, but awesome. first time he goes all I AM UR KING everyone in the throne room goes a little glassy eyed.)

Minas Tirith, being old, is very Old Numenorean Oceanic Aesthetic. Give me all that white stone carved to look like coral and driftwood holy shit YES. 

WHITE! TREE!! GARDEN!!! 

ATHELAS!!!! SCENTED!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!! (pairs well with lemon and other citrus smells.)

veering away from Gondor now

The Rohirrim stick with horse metaphors because of course they fucking do. Also, since they’re more nomadic, the entire concept of a “reef” as in a physical structure is kind of ??????? to them. So. “Reefs” = “herds” and “pods” = “bands.” 

Fresh Hay is considered to be Peak Homely Smell in Edoras. Tapestries! Only The Softest and Nicest and Most Beautifully Tooled leather! leather smells!

OH SHIT GIVE ME ALPHA-FOR-LIFE-EOWYN MEETING FOREVER!OMEGA FARAMIR *HEAVY BREATHING*

(oh shit while we’re in the neighborhood, Dúnedain Rangers tend to be solitary As, which spooks the natives like whoa, but the Ithilien Rangers are generally O, and their waterfall hideout is totes a big ole reef.)

hang on i forgot about elves

Listen, I’m not super into elves myself but I’m imagining that they are perpetually switching back and forth between A and O depending on the day — nay, the HOUR — and the extremes between A and O are much less extreme for them than other races.

Every other race finds this super weird and disturbing.

Legolas is like “hm this forest is making me feel very O.” And Aragorn and Gimli are just like ‘what’ and then suddenly Leggy smells very O too and Aragorn and Gimli are like ‘WHAT’

Feänor is the exception. He turned the dial all the way to A and broke the goddamn knob off.

Galadriel can go from Maximum Softe O to Roid Rage A in .0004 seconds. “iiiinstead of a dark lord yyYYOU WOULD HAVE A QUEEEEEEN!!!1!” and the Hobbits are literally bowled over.

Elves in general smell woody but also very ocean-y i think? Have you ever stood in a pine forest by the ocean, where you get those light, clean wood and cedar and pine smells all shot through with sea breeze? Like That.

But elves are more into visual/audio. Soft singing. Leaves moving in the breeze. The whisper of pages in a library. 

and the light. Elves are lighting wizards, they are all about that gentle starglow.

(I’m also having thoughts about the Lothlorien Elves embracing that A-ish urge to be Up High. A holdover from Galadriel’s time with the feanoreans? I'm not as up on silm lore as I should be)

but let’s get back to my happy place: 

THE MUTHAFUCKIN SHIIIIIIIIRE

Hobbits really embrace dat sweet sweet O lifestyle. good food and warm hearths. throw blankets and pillows. hugging and cuddle puddles and playing footsie. gardens. Gardens. G A R D E N S. 

“Going A” is done as rarely as possible. the transition takes about a month and Hobbits who are “going A” tend to call in sick like it’s some unsightly thing. 

Tooks have an unusually high rate of going A. Of course they do.

Bilbo has never gone A. Not! Once!

Neither has Frodo.

Sam did, after the breaking of the Fellowship. Merry and Pippin did, in Fangorn, when they grew six inches. The three of them all stayed A after that, for the most part. YES EVEN SAMWISE. it was v scandalous.

Hobbit “reefs” are called “warrens” (unless ur rich, then they’re Smials and they’re Only For Family) and their “pods” are “nests.” “Nesting” is a whole Thing.

Hobbits! Smell! Like! Baked! Goods! Not sweet but like… warm. Humans sometimes turn their noses up and call it a “yeasty” or “beery” smell but it’s usually much more a rising-bread smell. Pipeweed smoke and sweet florals make a nice contrast to the perpetual bakery window smell.

Hobbits are very mouth/taste/chew oriented. Mouthfeel is a Big Deal. Recipe Books are Heirlooms. Courting is frequently Food/Drink Oriented.

Rosie Cotton brews the finest ale in all the land and she did that for the express purpose of seducing Samwise Gamgee

He Did Not Realize.

Courting that is not food/drink oriented is Flower/Plant oriented.

Sam Gamgee became the finest gardener in all the land in the desperate hope of wooing Mr. Frodo.

He Did Not Realize.

Everyone Else Realized. Merry and Pippin especially considered it Peak Comedy.

(they eventually worked it out.)

last but not least:

there’s just no way around it. Dwarves smell like dirt. nice dirt tho! Petrichor and stone with hints of copper and metals. Smoke smells. Rich spice smells. Eau de forge is considered a particularly desirable perfume. Dwarves don’t particularly notice smell though (for reasons that will become apparent) when it comes to Softe Things they’re much more about dem sweet sweet sparklies, and fur, and being super fucking tactile.

Dwarves are SUPER into haircare, like, every night the Company of Thorin makes a braid circle and exchanges hair beads. 

(elves are also super into hair care. this too really Gets Tharanduil’s Goat)

Dwarf social structure is like… hobbits in reverse. They tend to default to A status, hence their general rowdiness but with strict codes of conduct to help manage conflict. They’re just these huge roving groups of A’s just rough-and-tumbling around their one O. dogpiles are peak pod bonding. aaaaand the alpha reek kind of tends to make them all a little noseblind.

Poor Bilbo.

Lucky, Lucky Bilbo.

But also poor, poor Bilbo.

Most dwarf Royals go O, but Thorin hadn’t been O since he was 24 and got chased out of Erebor by that pesky dragon.

Dwarf “reefs” and “pods” have their own terms in Khuzdul that do not translate well but have to do with crystal growth. Rough translations are “lattices” and “cells” (Hence the hexagon aesthetic)

Wizards Have No Designation. They Smell Like Gunpowder and Lightning. It Is Very Disturbing For Everyone Around Them.

A

N

Y

W

A

Y

Give me EveryoneLives!au Hobbit stuff. Bilbo trying to homely up the lonely mountain! Thorin going O and chilling the fuck out as a result! 

Give me fellowship!pod!! Aragorn is the diplomat! Pippin is the wild child! Gimli is the Adventurer! Frodo is the peacekeeper! Boromir is the den mother!

How Much More Heartrending is the Breaking of the Fellowship if the fellowship was a pod????

and then you’ve got the fractured podlings: Merry and Pippin bonding hard with their new Rohan and Gondor stress-pods. Sam going A to protect Frodo from Gollum while Frodo tries to adopt this weird frog into their pod. The Three Hunters as Nick, Nora and Nelson (Gimli is Nick, Leggy is Nora, Aragorn is Nelson.)

Give me post-war Legolas and Aragorn and Gimli (and Arwen too) breaking cultural boundaries and proving that yes! Interracial Pods Can Work! these differences are cultural, and cultures can be melded! nothing wrong with this! if half-elves exist and can have kids of their own, then elves and men are not separate species, and I’d bet a significant limb that the same is true of all the other races so

GIVE IT TO ME

ok i gotta stop now.

...

yeah there’s probably a star trek one of these coming too

kill me

(And hey jhscdood I’m not saying you have to come back at me with more lotr clownfish or ocean’s 11/Star Wars/M*A*S*H/Leverage/West Wing/whatever clownfish But I would certainly consider it a Fair Exchange if you did. MORE INSTITUTIONALIZED SOFTISM. MAXIMUM SOFT FISH FRIENDS.)