#about the specifics of like. how is cousin michelle related to them. what's their relationship like. did they grow up together etc.

[altschmerzes]

🌹🌹 Wriggle Up and/or New York Minute pleassssse 🙏

yesssss okay new york minute has taken over my brain for a moment so i'll go with an excuse to share some of that one

('new york minute' is my first fic for the bear, btw, it is a cousin michelle from the christmas episode pov of The Whole New York Debacle. as always i am really really anxious taking my first try at character voices, and picking a pov character who is a minor side character in one (1) episode has been both freeing and anxiety provoking LMAO. so. here's this.)

(also it's.... long. we know this about me and clips.)

As soon as Carmy is under her roof, safely tucked away in her guest room, Michelle takes what feels like her first full breath in since Christmas. It’s not like everything is magically okay now - Carmy certainly isn’t okay, and he’s just one little piece of the whole fucked up puzzle, but she’s finally done something about it. Michelle has found the one piece of that puzzle that she can do anything about at all and she’s done it. That’s the part that’s driven her the most out of her mind - knowing that things need to be done, that nothing is alright in Chicago, and not knowing what to do. Who to try and help, never mind how.

Natalie has Pete and her friends from school. She’s got a home and distance and she’d mentioned while on a walk with Michelle, looking away like she wasn’t sure what the response would be, that she had started therapy after Thanksgiving. And Michael has… Well. When they talk on the phone, Natalie doesn’t have a lot to say about Michael that’s encouraging. Michelle is worried about Michael but it’s not like she can do anything about that. They were close when they were younger but the older they got and the more Donna took a shine to her the more strained her relationship with Michael got. They were a competition of their own, really, or at least a battlefield on the war between their mothers.

Grandpa Berzatto, right? Michael Berzatto. A looming figure gone before any of her generation was born, and so of course the oldest grandchild is named after him - both of them were, at the beginning and the end of the same year, one down each branch of the family tree. Michael and Michelle. They thought it was funny when they were younger. Used to tell people they were twins, when they were real little. It’s not like that anymore. At least Richie is there, though. At least Richie is always there.

Thank god for Richie, said almost no one ever and Michelle several times over the course of her life.

One time, she was seventeen and going out with a guy who was far too old for her and a massive asshole on top of that. When she finally dumped him and his reaction scared her enough to tell them what was going on, Michael and Richie got a baseball bat and a tire iron out of the garage and broke every window and light cover on the guy’s car. Richie took one of the pieces from the tail-light to wood shop class the next day and while the teacher was off making sure some sophomores didn’t lose any fingers using a table saw, he sanded down the edges and put a hole through it, then gave it to her on a keychain. Michelle still has it somewhere. Michelle still has that keychain somewhere and Richie still has Michael and so that’s one thing she doesn’t have to worry about not being able to fix.

So there’s nothing to do for any of them, because Natalie is going to be okay in ways that even Michelle isn’t, and Michael is out of her reach, and Donna is out of everyone’s reach. (Donna needs help. She’s obviously suffering and needs some serious help, but Michelle learned long ago with her own mother that there’s no forcing help on someone who won’t accept it and will stop speaking to you for months if you try to push it anyway.)

But Carmy… Carmy is in her guest room and it’s still pretty early but she thinks he’s asleep and this she can do. This, him, Michelle can help.

(Michael caught her on the way out, when she and Stevie were leaving. She was worried for a moment, because he had that intense look on his face that meant trouble could be coming, and when he said heard you asked Carm to come stay with you for a few days in New York she steeled her nerves for one last explosion for the road. Michael was silent and Michelle was silent and he still had a hold of her arm but he wasn’t squeezing or anything so she let him keep his hand for now. And then he just said Good. Get him the fuck out of here and do not let him come back. Then he gave her a hug so tight she couldn’t breathe and kissed her on the cheek and said love you, Mitch and he was gone.)

[feynavaley]

2 Bees buzzing in my mind.

Submitted by @lotuslol:

Hi Feyna! How are you? I hope you are doing awesome in life.

What I meant were questions 😂

But they have been spinning in my brain for a while so yeah…like bees.

Answer them when you feel like it, which means if you’re free and don’t feel like it, you don’t have to answer.

Also they are long questions, I need you to be strong for this :O

Without furthur talking :D

1# What music/songs do you listen to that help you daydream for your stories? Does it sometimes play in the background of your mind while you’re writing scenes? 

Does something else give the same effect of “over flowing of ideas”? Usually sweeping the floors makes ideas flow into my brain, especially balconies. What about you? :D

2# Rereading my favorite parts from Chrysalis made me wonder (I know this sounds silly but…)

How would the romantic life of our BtBP heroes look like?

I know you don’t like writing about romance but it’s an AU and I couldn’t help comparing between characters from both stories (Because you draw lots of interesting parallels that I feel like exploring) and I ended up wondering about romance. 

If you don’t feel like answering my 2# question, I perfectly understand. 😊😏

So senpai, I’m all ears.👂👂 (or eyes here 👀👀)

———

Thanks a lot for your interest and your questions, I always appreciate it! 💕 I hope you’re doing amazing 😘

1) I actually don’t really use music as an inspiration. It may happen that I listen on loop to the song I’m currently obsessed with while I’m writing, but in general, music makes me lose focus rather than sharpen it – especially if it’s songs I’m not already familiar with. It’s a bit better with music without lyrics, but still not ideal. It’s probably because I’m just… not really used to listening to music. You see, my father loathes music with all his heart. He considers it ‘nothing more than noise’, haha. It goes without saying that music has never been a constant presence in my home. 😅 We don’t normally have it playing in the background, it only happens from time to time. As a result, not only I don’t think about putting any music on unless I’m doing something manual that doesn’t require much concentration (cleaning, for example – and even in that case, I’m more likely to listen to a psychology podcast or something like that), music is something that I cannot just reduce to background noise. If there’s music, that’s what I end up concentrating on.

An activity that tends to get me daydreaming about fanfic ideas, instead, is walking! When I’m walking, I daydream the entire time, haha. I make up new plots, pick others apart, and detail vivid scenes. Taking a shower also tends to produce the same effect. (Probably helped by the fact my long hair make showers last quite long. Even now that the hairdresser messed up and cut way more than I had told her to, my hair goes slightly past my waist and washing it takes a bit of time.)

2) You actually answered this question yourself. 😅 I generally don’t like romance, so I don’t even think about this aspect unless I specifically need it for the story.

In the case of BtBP, the only thing I had already in mind was that Alfred used to have a huge (and unrequired) crush on Felicia that lasted for years. (To be fair, many, many people have or have had a crush on Felicia, haha. She’s the most popular girl in the school. And the funniest thing is that she has no idea.) It started when he was in middle school and, in spite of Felicia rejecting his advances, Alfred didn’t completely lose hope until his freshman year of high school, when he saw Felicia interacting with Ludwig and realized that she truly saw him in a different way. He has since moved on and considers Felicia a dear friend without any romantic attachment. I don’t know who he might eventually end up with. If I had to choose somebody, I guess it could be Natalya. It’s a pairing I have considered for other fics I’m planning and I think it may work, provided they get the chance to know each other well enough. Only after they have both grown up a bit, though – surely, after high school. Another potential partner could be Clarisse (Monaco) who, in this universe, is Francis’s cousin from his father’s side (so, not related to Alfred and Matthew) and the same age as Alfred. I guess she could move to America for college and get to know him. They may get along quite well. I really have nothing planned, though – I’m only thinking about pairings I’ve considered for other fic ideas where I needed Alfred to have a girlfriend and could work in this universe as well. Personally, I see Alfred enjoying light-hearted, no-strings-attached flirting quite a big deal (and maybe, coming across as more flirty than he intends as he is so extroverted and open) but only getting into relationships or dating when he’s very involved. He’s not one to have many relationships – once he gets into one, he’s extremely committed and they tend to last for a while.

If I had to choose a relationship for Matthew, instead, it would be with Michelle (Seychelles). I think her vitality and positivity would be a good balance to his shy personality, and he would be attracted by it – while she could appreciate his kindness and sensitivity. I could see both of them developing a crush on each other as they become closer over the course of their high school years. Obviously, Michelle would have to make the first move, though. Matthew would never think himself worthy of her, so he would hide his feelings as he wouldn’t even dream of thinking they could be reciprocated. (As a result, Michelle would think hers aren’t reciprocated either. I think she would need the support/push of a friend before confessing to Matthew. She would eventually do it, though. I see her as one who doesn’t like hiding what she truly thinks or feels.)

Francis has had a few different partners over the years. Not unlike Alfred, once he gets into a serious relationship he’s extremely committed and they tend to last for a while. However, he also enjoys having flings and even casual sex (never when inebriated, though – both parts must be 100% down for it) when he’s single so this has happened as well. (And at the moment BtBP takes place, he’s single.) If I had to have him settle with somebody, my first pick would probably be essentially an OC heavily inspired to Jeanne/Lisa (a Frenchwoman named Jeanne). I don’t have anybody else in mind, at the moment.

I wouldn’t know what to make of Arthur, either. He’s too emotionally repressed to admit even to himself when he has romantic feelings for somebody so he never actually had a relationship, and after his parents died, he had too many more urgent concerns to even think about romance. I honestly really don’t know who to put him with. Sakura (Nyo!Japan), maybe? She works in the same editorial house he does after getting his bachelor degree and they become close friends. A romantic relationship could end up developing from that, I guess.

But, I really don’t have plans for this. These could be some options if I really had to include romantic relationships, but I’d truly rather focus on something else and don’t even think about this, haha. 😅 Sorry if my answer was disappointing.

[nisaadventures]

Unconditional and Endless

... That’s what her love felt like. If you ever wonder why I’ve always been so grounded, so level headed, so “wise beyond my years”... so resilient... It was because at the end of the day I always knew I had her love to fall back on. She was my rock.

I can honestly say I was never the kid who told their parent they hated them, or didn’t like them. I felt hurt sometimes, but I was never really mad at her. Even when she would go off on me about Trump... Good lord.. Even then...

Whenever I reached a goal in my life, I had her to thank.. If it weren’t for all of her sleepless nights, 7 day work weeks, sacrifice, I wouldn’t be where I am. I wouldn’t be who I am.

Whenever I hit a wall in my life... When I felt lost... When I was depressed... She understood me. She would always say, “You’re so much like me... I’m so sorry.” She was referring to the emotional and depressed parts of me.. I did get that from her.. But, knowing what I know, we are as loving and caring as we are because we have felt those things.. The less desirable feelings. The feelings most try to act like they don’t feel. Those taboo feelings... 

So, some background.. I’ve always been really close to my family. I was raised with the mantra that family comes first. I still feel that way. The thing is that the concept of family, for me, has always been very unique. I grew up in blended families. Yes, families.. plural.

Let me break it down for you from MY perspective... And please don’t feel offended by any of this, or take this out of context...

So there’s my Mom (Fernisa) and my Dad (Patrick).

There’s my Kuya (Dominic/Mikey) who I grew up with. He has a different dad (Dominic) and his wife (Jackie). And through Kuya’s side, I have two brothers (Chris and Derric). When I was little, Kuya would take me to Dom & Jackie’s to spend weekends here and there. So even though we aren’t “related” I still consider all 3 of them my brothers... Its what I knew.. Ever since I was a kid when people asked me how many brothers I had, I said 3.

Then there’s my dad’s side and his wife (Michelle). I have two sister’s on my dad’s side (Shelica and Sarah). Ever since I can remember, my dad has lived in another city because he moved for work: Modesto, Fresno, Arizona, and now SoCal. I learned what it was like to hop on a plane by myself at an early age. When people asked me how many siblings I had, I’d always say, 2 sisters.

I learned early on that it was too difficult for some people to understand the relation.. So I stopped explaining it all. You can imagine people thought my parents had a S*** ton of kids once I stopped saying the specifics..

I also have my godmother (Mama Josie), who has been around since before I was born. She gave me my middle name. She’s my Mexican side of the family. I grew up with this side of my family since I was a baby. This is why I have so many relatives.

My mom had a twin (Auntie Felisa) and being twins, they were SUPER close. Auntie had my cousin John. At one point we all lived under the same roof. John and I fought a lot.. One year age difference.. It happens. But he was like another little brother for Kuya and the annoying brother I, at the time, didn’t want (lol). We eventually grew out of that.

And more recently when Mom and Michael (my step dad) got married, he added my 4 step sisters: Evan, Christina, Nicole, and Angela. I was 19?? when Michael and the girls came into the picture. A decade... In the blink of an eye.

I’m not going to list everyone. There’s too many... But as I’ve gotten older there were new ties.. new relationships that I anchored myself to.. Because I was raised with the construct that family is who we choose.

So fast forward to present day...

A lot has changed since we were kids. Millions upon millions of decisions have been made to bring us to today.. To bring us closer together... or to drift us further and further apart.

I guess as I’ve gotten older I saw the anchors I laid for myself growing brittle... rusting... changing...

That is life.

I’ve had some amazing people grace my life, some wonderful people come back into my life, and some who’ve seen their way out.

My siblings all have kids and families of their own. They do their best to make me feel like I’m not alone.. Kuya and Vanessa (my sister-in-law) include me all the time.. But.. sometimes I do feel alone. My life is different and I don’t always feel like I fit. 

I do feel blessed. Most people live and grow up in the strict construction that society has created. I’m blessed that I grew up with a role model who didn’t do that... That she cast her love to anyone who needed or wanted it. And because of wide open arms and love, I grew up with that mindset. That everyone who I consider my brother, sister, cousin, family... that I love them.. I love you. I do..

The constant, strong, and unmovable... my Mom. She had this amazing way of always making me feel loved, anchored. As if no matter where I traveled or drifted, I could always find my way back to her. My guide line. If you’ve ever experienced one of her hugs, you know what a fraction of this feels like.

It just feels weird to feel so lost.. Its not the first time I felt this way. When I graduated college I had a tiny glimpse of this feeling. Being unsure.. Not knowing what my future would hold. 

I was ripe with opportunity...

I have that same opportunity now.. Only difference is, I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do with it yet...

My goal in life remains the same, happiness..

But don’t be confused.. Happiness is fluid. It rises and falls like waves do. Sometimes small... undetectable.. sometimes earth shattering. I accept it in all forms.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

“I’ll be sure to bear that in mind,” I said. “Uh, how did you say you knew Eva?”“From the world’s longest camping trip.” She rolled her eyes. “Four months of hork-bajir calling us all ‘cute’ and ‘fuzzy’ and giving us pitying looks every time we had to get food out of cans because we were too helpless even to digest bark properly.” She waved a hand as if dismissing the whole thing. “And don’t get me started on the excuse for plumbing.” “Gotcha,” I said, grinning.

DVD Commentary: There were a lot of different things I wanted to accomplish with this scene from Ghost in the Shell.  For the record, setting Loren up as a red herring suspect in the murders was not one of them—that was entirely an accident on my part.  A happy accident, since I never really intended this fic to be a murder mystery at all so much as a story of a guy learning to cope with trauma and also not to oversimplify his views of humans or aliens in the process of dealing with a series of murders, and that misdirection made the whole thing more mysterious.  But an accident all the same, just like Rachel becoming an Animorph.

What I was actually trying to do with this scene was a couple things: 

I wanted this fic to have as many light moments as possible amidst all the child murder and attempted fratricide and innocent-security-guard murder and revenge killing and… Okay, there’s a lot of murder in this story.  I didn’t want it to get dreary or melodramatic, and ergo the desire for an aside where nothing truly bad happens.

It also occurred to me almost as soon as I realized I wanted Tom’s job to be personal-assistant-cum-aid-worker that Loren would be a natural place to go as a source of training and expertise.  Hence, introducing her as another mentor for him as he becomes more dedicated to the role.

A part of me also really wanted to draw attention to the fact that Tom is really not a dog person.  It’s one of my eeensy pet peeves in fan fiction (actually in internet culture in general) that being Not A Dog Person is often portrayed as anything from low moral fiber to an indicator of outright supervillainy.  

I’ll save my rant on how dog obsession is a perfectly good thing that is also a(n upper) class indicator for another time, but I’ll settle for saying that I wanted to draw attention to the fact that Tom just… doesn’t like Homer.  He doesn’t dislike Homer, he would never allow Homer to come to harm, he wants Homer to live forever because that would make Jake happy, he goes out of his way to avoid causing Homer even inadvertent distress, he’d probably dive in front of a car to save either Champ or Homer and not regret it for a second… 

But he also doesn’t really see the point of keeping house for an animal that can’t be eaten, barks at the mail carrier, doesn’t contribute labor, occasionally chews up $200 pairs of Air Jordans, and sheds on the furniture.  He’s just not a dog person.  And he’s still a more-or-less decent person.  And those two facts don’t correlate at all.

Part of what I wanted to do with Ghost in the Shell as a whole was establish relationships for Tom outside of his family.  Almost every other fic in that series focuses on his relationships with his parents, his brother, and (eventually) his cousins.  I wanted to give him meaningful relationships outside of his family.  Ghost in the Shell obviously focuses primarily on his friendship with Eva and romance with Bonnie, but I wanted to establish that he also goes for beers with his former basketball team on a regular basis, that he has a decent degree of connection with literally hundreds of other former hosts… And that the AniPTA* includes him in its ranks, despite his not having been included in The World’s Longest Camping Trip.

*We don’t know for sure that Naomi and Loren and Eva and Peter and Nora and Michelle and Walter and Chapman all remain friends after the war.  I’ve just seen this headcanon about the AniPTA (as I call it; if it has a different name I don’t know) a handful of times and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. 

We also never actually get to see much of the AniFamilies interacting with each other without the Animorphs present, mostly because the Animorphs narrate the books.  However, we also see moments with Cassie’s and Rachel’s moms both looking to Marco’s mom as an authority figure, to the point where Eva seems to serve as an informal leader of a sub-group of the older generation.

Loren’s specific line about “the world’s longest camping trip” actually comes from my beta’s suggestion; she said that Loren should establish credibility with Eva right off the bat.  I used that opportunity to sneak in one of my headcanons, that the hork-bajir as a whole tend to have this well-intentioned but semi-condescending view toward the humans.  (You know, kind of like the humans have toward the hork-bajir? A fact which K.A. Applegate never really interrogates or problematizes?) Given that humans must look even more derpy and pathetic to hork-bajir than they do to andalites (and that andalites regularly express shock that humans can walk and chew gum at the same time), I headcanon the hork-bajir as pitying the poor stupid little aliens who—like infants—end up needing to rely on other members of their species to harvest food and mash it up because they’re too helpless to do it on their own.  Given how well Loren handles being condescended to, which is to say not well at all, I have to imagine she was not the star player in interspecies relations during that whole time period. 

[carolrance]

I saw this thing. I’m answering this thing... even though nobody asked.

So, I saw someone answering this and thought it was sorta cool but I don’t think people will respond anymore so I’m just doing it myself. Self love, ya know.

Talk about the first ship you ever had. Uhhh… I can’t remember which came first Mulder & Scully or Usagi/Mamoru. (The latter being really icky to me now that I’m older, lol.) I think it was Mulder/Scully… I was in primary school for both of these so it’s confusing cos that was a really long time ago.

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life. Mulder/Scully (The X Files). I honestly don’t really feel like “talking” about them cos I don’t think it’s very interesting. Also, I have no idea where to begin. Naomi/Emily (Skins) – I fucking can’t stand them now, to be completely honest. I actually sorta hate Emily. By they (and Skins in general) did have a rather huge impact on my life. Now, I feel like I should put Dany/Doreah but really I think more importantly in terms of my life, it would be Marissa/Alex from The O.C. Does that sound stupid? Maybe. But that pairing (as shitty as they treated Alex and the whole relationship by the end) had a fairly huge influence on me. I think it was my first femslash ship that I was totally open about. (I totally shipped Jo/Rachel (and Jo/Rachel/Paul) from S Club 7 (DON’T EVEN!) but back then I didn’t even think it was serious…even though I had a whole website about it, lmao.)

What’s your current OTP? Oh my… Dany/Doreah forever & Marg/Sansa (ASOIAF/GoT). Michelle/Naomi (Skins). Carol/Helen (Episodes). Amanda Rollins/Olivia Benson (SVU). (With a bit of Rollins/Lindsay on the side. SVU/Chicago PD). Niska/Astrid (Humans). … So… Like… A lot? A lot of old OTPs are still OTPs now? Bo/Lauren (Lost Girl). Meg/Veronica (Veronica Mars). Katniss/Johanna (THG). Lou/Tess (Lip Service). Quinn/Rachel (Unreal). Jessica Jones/Trish Walker (Jessica Jones). Virginia Johnson/Lillian DePaul (Masters of Sex)………I think even my few het ships I’m still not totally over (Chase/Cameron, Mulder/Scully, Martin/Sam, etc) but I mean, I don’t really care either.

What’s your current NOTP? Any of the above characters paired with men. Simple. I have a lot of nOTPs tbh. Most canon ships are NOTPs lmao. Although… I guess Patsy/Delia is a current NOTP of mine. Don’t shoot! I just don’t care for them. They are boring to me.

Do you have any poly ships? I was sorta into Marissa/Alex/Ryan (The O.C.). I started a fic about them. And the aforementioned Jo/Paul/Rachel.

How do you feel about love triangles? Lazy. The thing is, they’re a real thing. I’ve been a bunch and they’re just uncomfortable. No matter what, somebody gets hurt. I just feel like in TV/films they’re SO LAZY. An easy way to create drama for drama’s sake. And one faction of fandom is always upset. And usually they’re really shoddily designed so it’s like one girl, 2 boring ass boys fighting for her WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE?! BLAH……. Boring. “The triangle’s not a friendly shape, okay? It’s pointy. It’s got edges. Triangles hurt people, man.”

How do you feel about RPF? Nope. I’m a bit of a hypocrite cos I spent a great deal of time in my childhood sorta straddling the very thin line here with the whole S Club 7 thing. And, I’ll admit, I did enjoy this April Pearson/Lily Loveless fic once.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character? No. Usually my favs feel a little too relatable which is why I’m attached to them, not cos I wanna bone them. Also, way too much drama. I mean, fictional characters are almost always exaggerated people.

Do you have many ships that never got together at all? All? LMAO. Okay, let’s see… Sam/Martin did, briefly (Fuck Without A Trace tbh. What a horrid little show.) Chase/Cameron were together and that ended badly as well. Carol/Helen, also ended horribly (so far). Mulder/Scully… that’s difficult. They’re difficult. Marissa/Alex, ended horribly. Naomi/Emily, technically… hmmm. Well, as of S4 they were back together but I didn’t buy it and I pretty much loathed Emily by that point so fuck em. That ended badly too. It ended horribly if you count S7–which I don’t cos I never watched it. If I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. Bo/Lauren. Okay, this may be the only bright light in all my ships, lmao. They were together and then not, then together, then not, then END GAME. So, I guess the ones that never got together??? Basically just look above at my OTPs and see all the ones I didn’t mention here ending horribly lol.

Do you ship any characters that have never met? ONLY THE BEST ONE: MICHELLE/NAOMI.

Talk about your favorite first kiss. Like in canon onscreen? Or in my head? Big diff. Chase & Cameron maybe. I loved that episode. Mulder & Scully’s first (onscreen) kiss was a bit weird. I don’t remember Sam/Martin tbh. Hmm… Marissa/Alex was hella stilted and awkward prolly cos it was on FOX and like Mischa Barton is a terrible actress. Bo/Lauren’s first kiss was pretty good. Yeah, I really liked that one. Mostly cos it didn’t fade to black immediately (ahem, Carol/Helen) and it wasn’t set to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ (Naomi/Emily)… Okay, in fairness that was only the American version. The one I saw had Lily Allen playing instead… But still. I loved that episode but it wasn’t the best first kiss I’ve ever seen.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together? Yes, when they get together only to end even shittier. Which is basically all of them except Bo/Lauren.

Has a ship ever broken your heart? All of them. Canon and otherwise. My heart breaks on a regular basis.

How do you feel about will they/won’t they? Ugh. Useless. Generally, it’s queerbaiting when it’s my femslash OTPs. When it’s het, I’m just like, “As if these two lonely, outrageously attractive co-workers wouldn’t have banged already. Like, give me a break and just do it already. Who believes this shit?”

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”? Lemme think… Probably? I can’t actually recall any specifics however. Not Mulder/Scully, I know that. The first time I saw them, it was New Year’s Eve and I spent the entire show huddled on the sofa in my friend’s basement with her and her cousins, shaking and screaming, lmao. The X-Files really isn’t great TV for easily scared children with big imaginations, lbr.

Talk about a ship you initially disliked. One that I like now that I disliked previously? Erm. None. I don’t flipflop on ships, lbr. It goes like this: I am oblivious/indifferent to ship, depending. I see ship. I ship ship. I love ship. And it’s only then that this can diverge. Either I stay in love forever, or I end up positively hating the show/pairing and I stop shipping it, or it just kinda dies out over time. Normally it’s the first or second, rarely the third.

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically. And now just ship them only as friends? Or stopped shipping them and dislike them now and don’t want to have anything to do with them? The latter is clearly Sam/Martin. I just hated how the characters were written and the show was fucking awful after S3. The former… Ah, the former. I think this really has to be Naomi/Emily. I am 1457% Naomi/Michelle, no alternatives accepted. Naomily is toxic imo. Like so incredibly nope. I am -100000% Naomily. I stopped shipping them mid-S4, probably during Katie’s episode. I was just like, “Nope, this is pretty gross and not healthy and what the fuck?!” I gave up completely at the finale when it was so fucking stupid. I think by then I’d already had my Michelle/Naomi dream… Anyway. Like, I literally cannot handle Naomi/Emily anymore. At most, I can deal with them as friends. But even then, sometimes I wonder if writing them that way in my fics is pandering in some sense. It’s not intentional pandering to Naomily stans… but, now I look back and wonder? They’re just so awful together romantically. I shudder.

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship. Hmmm…. Carol/Helen in Griffith Park in 4x09 when she makes Carol give back her bra. That whole episode was really nasty and really awful and not funny at all. I really dislike the writing there. It was just… Helen was just disgusting really and it made me really uncomfortable about shipping it. I have other examples but it only asked for one.

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself? She-Ra and He-Man. I had no idea they were brother and sister when I was little but I thought they were cute together. Oops. It wasn’t until a few years back when I mentioned them at a party and everyone was like, “Errr, you do know they were twins, yeah?” NO. I DID NOT.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping. Carol/Helen. I feel like the few people that shipped it with me on tumblr here were really turned off by their breakup. And also, it’s been on hiatus forever. Also, I suppose Claire Dearing/Zara Young from Jurassic World, lmao.

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against? Most het ones? Like, just… why would you be with that puffy wonderbread boy when you could be with this other hot lady and have 10003x times more chemistry and interestingness? (Like I mean, I’m totally talking about Erin Lindsay and that gay dude she’s fucking, when it would be so much better if she was with Rollins, lmao. You go watch the crossovers episodes and tell me I’m imagining that.) Other het ships, I have definite things against the men.

Which of your ships have the best chemistry? OH GOD. Now, ermmmm…. this depends almost exclusively on my own headcanon/bias so obvs others aren’t likely to agree. Cos, well, Michelle/Naomi have hella chemistry LMAO. Like just look at this photo. Clearly. Okay, seriously… Bo/Lauren. Like hands down, undoubtedly.

Which of your ships deserve better writing? Every single one of them. Especially Dany/Doreah lmao.

Do you mostly ship canon pairings? Clearly not.

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar? Skins. Lost Girl. Actually, hmm. I saw gifs of LG but I guess it wasn’t until I saw Zoie Palmer at a film premiere I went to that I was like, “WHO IS THAT?!” And then I realised I had to start watching that programme.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to? Blonde/Brunette. Like, it’s really obvious. But not 100%. Otherwise, I don’t really see any substantial patterns.

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life? Mulder/Scully.

Does shipping come easily to you? Neither here nor there. If it clicks, it clicks.

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic? Most of the time. But then sometimes shipping gets in the way of my enjoyment cos it becomes all about the pairing.

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships. Fortitude? Honestly… I don’t even know. I watch a bunch of TV I have no particular interest in shipping anybody. Oh! Here’s one NASHVILLE. I honestly do not care who’s with whom. It’s irrelevant.

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. Dany/Doreah – Doreah is alive. That’s it. That’s the headcanon. (And bonus, Dany takes Doreah to Lys and burns down the pleasure house Doreah was sold to as a child.) I have to add that most of my fav headcanons revolve around one half of my OTP still being alive. Which is both sad and really telling. (Like… Doreah, Margaery, Naomi, Meg, Marissa, Lillian… Ouch.)

Share five must-read fics. I’m trying really hard not to rec my own shit cos I just love my headcanons too much. Okay, here: They Will Crown You, They Will Take Your Legs by (Netgirl_y2k); tie your handlebars to the stars (and throw away the map) by (majesdane); my heart is gold and my hands are cold by (quinnking); If you’re gonna shoot me down, do it gently by (aphrodite_mine); I Can’t Get Out Of Love (a love i had a grip on; now it’s gripping me) by (doreah) hahahahahahahahaaaa i will do whatever i want when i want to force this pairing on everyone

Name your favorite fanartist(s). IDK??????????

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP. Dany/Doreah: actually… oops. my fav fanmix for them is on my ipod and nowhere else lmao. it’s really good hahahah. anyway… um. so i’ll choose one that’s not mine: i’ll send a storm (most of mine are either doreah-specific or based on my fic which is a lot of headcanon and this one has excellent musical choices. that first track is killer.) Meg/Veronica: song of solomon (your poetry in motion) Chase/Cameron: i’m all second chances Michelle/Naomi: can’t get out of love Bo/Lauren:  it’s killing me, it’s killing you, a page from the book of my fantasy

Recommend 1-5 shipper blogs. Pass. I don’t even know any…

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for you ships? Used to. Obvs.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP? Half of it not being dead.

Do you like and use ship names? I generally stay away from them unless I to find stuff/want people to find my stuff on tumblr. I find them cloying.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself? Hell no. Real life is difficult enough.

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be? They would all be alive. Sensing a pattern? Also, being canon would be nice.

[fabulizemag]

Navigating my complicated relationships with Beyonce and Michelle Obama

New Post has been published on https://fabulizemag.com/navigating-my-complicated-relationships-with-beyonce-and-michelle-obama/

Navigating my complicated relationships with Beyonce and Michelle Obama

Even my Superheroes have weaknesses…

I remember the first time I saw Destiny’s Child on TV. I’m an 80s baby so girl groups weren’t new to me but there was something different about Destiny’s Child. They embodied the soulful voices of girl groups of yesteryear while appealing to mainstream media as En Vogue had done—plus they were young. They weren’t a niche girl group that was attached to a specific music trend, they were setting the trends.

Destiny’s Child unapologetically became part of American’s English lexicon with words like bugaboo and bootylicious. Even with the changing of the group members and their internal drama, Beyoncé handled herself like a true professional and that’s nothing short than admirable.

But isn’t that typical of Black women? When we are put under pressure we make diamonds? You can rightfully argue it’s a hurtful cliché used negatively against us that sets us up for seemingly unattainable goals that nobody else has to abide by. But that ruthless, passionate work ethic is what I and many others love about Beyoncé. She consistently beats the odds as a Black woman and she’s that chick.

That’s why my relationship with her is so complicated and it’s not just with her, it’s the former First Lady Michelle Obama, too. Two international renowned Black women who undoubtedly will go down in history for their achievements and both who have been criticized unfairly by whiteness and racist pundits are not without their flaws.

But I don’t like talking about my heroes’ flaws under a white gaze because their flaws aren’t up for them to analyze because their criticism can’t be racially unbiased. For me, my criticisms( at least, I think) seem to be layered. It’s hard for me not to want to mention them when I discuss their husbands’ actions because, in my heart, I don’t feel they are unaware of their husbands’ plans. I refuse to believe these smart and successful businesswomen aren’t protecting their families’ interests when their men make these questionable and in some instances, regressive declarations.

But Patriarchy?

Yeah, patriarchy. Patriarchy is trash. I’ve toyed with the concept that for Beyoncé, patriarchy is a major hindrance to her personally and professionally. For the sake of argument, let’s say Jay-Z did initially engage with Beyoncé when she was 18-years-old, he was already about 30 and no matter how successful she was at the time it’s never a good combination for older men to date younger women. Their intentions are usually rooted in grooming young women; molding them and having the ability to manipulate them emotionally and mentally (which to some extent he did when he admitted he cheated on her) paired with the fact she’s witnessed her own mother sacrifice and tolerates similar behaviors from her father. I’ve taken all this into consideration when it comes to analyzing Beyonce from a Black womanist lens but none of that can really explain her branding aesthetic of social justice.

If she didn’t use social justice in her work, yall would call her a coon!

Not necessarily. During the Civil Rights Era, a lot of artists used news and politics as a motivator and backdrop for their art. You can listen to many Black artists between the 60s and 70s and find numerous records that became the soundtrack for what we know identify as the soulful sound of liberation. Not every artist was an activist and that’s ok and my point. You can make music for the people if you wish but it’s a different ballgame when you believe you are the voice of said people.

I don’t hate Beyonce because she’s a multi-millionaire. I believe she’s worked extremely hard to be where she is in her life and I hope she’s happy. However, as a millionaire, it’s impossible for her as a brand to fundamentally be “for the people”. Wealthy people are never for the (poor or working-class) people and have no real interest in liberation because liberation, especially Black liberation involves eating the rich. As the poor, marginalized and working-class culture shifts, so does the identity of what is socially responsible and what is not. The wealthy need the poor to exist for them to remain wealthy. Without the poor and working-class, who would attend Beyonce’s concerts? Who would buy her merchandise? When was the last time you seen wealthy influencers rocking Ivy Park? That’s no shade at all but it is the truth.

I wish for Beyonce to use her position and power and flip shit upside-down. Now that’s she’s secured her seat at the table I want her to flip that muthafucka over and open the doors for everyone else and not just a select few. When powerful women marry and are involved with powerful men who have questionable actions as they relate to marginalized people, you have to ask yourself, are these women complicit or are they putting the batteries in their men’s back?

I love what Beyoncé represents for Black girls in media. I love how she embraces hood aesthetics, social media conversations and creates art in a visual and musical form we can amp ourselves up with. My biggest (and honestly, probably my only complaint) is Beyonce’s tendency to use social media activism as a branding tool. Yes, I’m aware the Carters have donated money ( as they should) to Black Lives Matter and other families who’ve been victims to state sanction violence. I’m aware they’ve donated more money than I’ve ever made in a year ( and again, they should) but the idea that Beyoncé is a spokesperson for the poor or working-class Black woman or can relate to everyday struggles is, in my opinion, far-fetched and disingenuous. As long as the Black wealthy push the pull-up-your-own-bootstraps and coddle whiteness, they can never truly represent me.

However, the difference between Beyoncé and the former First Lady and even Oprah is that Beyonce is more likely to evolve— maybe. I always say that Black people are fundamentally conservative. White supremacy is ingrained into our DNA generations deep. Like many of you, I was proud to vote for Obama, twice! In his eight years in office, I saw the Obamas get treated with disrespect, endure racism domestically and nationally and be judged by standards they wouldn’t give the current joker in the office now if their lives depended on it. Michelle Obama was easily my favorite of the couple; she’s smarter than her husband, tall, beautiful and confident. I watched politicians, pundits and white feminists try to break her spirit and all she did was flip her perfect-coiffed hair at them. Who could have asked for a better first lady?

But as racial tensions steadily rose and the opportunity to stand for the working class and marginalized presented itself, Obama didn’t always take it. In all fairness, he had constant pushback from republicans in congress and they threatened him with impeachment every day. For a while, I reasoned with their lack of actions on certain issues. Let’s face it, you can’t be a left-leaning president and you definitely can’t be a left-leaning Black president, so he picked and chose his battles. But I started to feel the excuses I was making for the Obamas were biting me in the ass when Obama would get on TV and say certain things using certain lingo and speech patterns to essentially talk-down to poor Black people. When Obama told Black folks to call their cousin Pookie to go out and vote, he basically reiterated what white liberals do to Black voters; put the results of voting on the marginalized population in the country.

Ok, but what does this have to do with Michelle? When Michelle released her now New York Times Bestselling memoir, everybody and their mama went to buy the book and if they were lucky enough, they were able to see her in-person on her book tour. Some of the passages from her memoir come straight from Black respectability playbook of middle-class Blacks who feel they work harder than poor Blacks without acknowledging their access to resources. Michelle stated that racism and racial inequality are psychological and we have to help others overcome. That’s bullshit.

It’s bullshit because Black people didn’t invent racism; just like women didn’t invent sexism. It’s not up to the marginalized party to help the oppressor overcome their bigotry. In the United States, Black people have been writing about racial equality since they could write and the path to ending racism lies within white people. However, when Black people achieve certain access to privileges, they assume all Black people can do the same. For all transparency reasons, I grew up in a middle class household. Both are my parents are college-educated and my father had access to generational wealth. My experiences growing up looks different from others who did not have the resources I had. It took me being financially vulnerable as an adult to understand how the system treats poor people even when you are trying to help yourself. When you grow up in middle-class Black America you are reminded daily that you aren’t like other Blacks and anti-Black rhetoric is a foundation of distinguishing yourself from others.

If you are still here reading, thank you because I went in on a rant, but if you are still here reading I want to make it clear that I can appreciate these women for what they mean to Black people as far as representation goes. But we can’t be satisfied with the surface-level representation. We have to do more than root for everyone who is Black. We have to encourage and bring wealthy Black people to task beyond the aesthetic of Black liberation. Wearing berets and quoting our historical leaders in a bop isn’t enough. We are facing dark and dangerous times and if our Black wealthy won’t condemn all forms of white supremacy, they might as well take a picture with them. You know, like Mrs. Obama does with former President Bush.

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