#according to google either im like fine or i have cancer lol

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

the like. constant obsession with losing weight is so like. like obviously it's bad bc it can encourage rly unhealthy behavior and there's more to being healthy than being under a certain weight but like. also (and i don't know if this is talked abt as much?) it makes it like. extremely hard to tell if ur underweight or losing too much. like. i have been Rapidly Losing Weight for like. unknown reasons and everything i look at will tell me what i should be UNDER but no one will tell me what i should be OVER or when im underweight enough for it to be like. really concerning. AND like. i don't have an eating disorder and i never have but my eating is juuuust disordered enough that it's super super super extremely not helpful for every fucking thing i look at to tell me i should like. lose weight or not overeat or etc etc bc like. i need to gain weight. im 20 years old and 5'3 and im under 100lbs. that's not healthy but no one will tell me HOW not healthy that is or like. how concerned i should be. like yeah okay if you've lost 10% of ur body weight in under 6 months (which i have) ur supposed to go to the doctor but like. i don't know. and then now im trying to like. track what i eat so that when i DO go to the doctor i have actual shit to show them and even all of that is just so fucking concerned with telling u ur eating too much and not if ur eating too little. kind of really fucking frustrating lol. also also i feel like no one is really that concerned about it??? (except for some of my friends who absolutely freaked the fuck out about but they were like. kind of dramatic about it i stopped telling them abt it lol). like ive lost over 10lbs in like 5 months?????? and like i told my mom and she was like. idk i was like 100 when i was ur age and that's like?? okay?? but if i fucking gained 10lbs in 5 months everyone would freak the fuck out. idk. my bmi is so low rn that i qualify for anorexia??????? and i cant figure out if im like. overreacting abt this like part of the reason i havent gone to the doctor is i feel like theyll be like 🤷 eat more 🤷 switch ur meds 🤷 which is. not helpful. like yeah i know i have to eat more thank u. idk i am just kind of frustrated lol like yeah being skinny is good and whatever but this is not healthy and it's kind of concerning that people don't care. i havent even told my dad bc im like. pretty sure he'd be like??? why is that bad??? idk. anyways. im gonna go to the doctor at some point i havent decided if im going this week or next week so we'll see hopefully i live lol