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girlgrouptrash101 · 4 years

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Yena (IZ*ONE) as Your Girlfriend

Request: “can i request iz*one's yena as your girlfriend please 👉🏻👈🏻 thank you 🥺”

A/N: took a lil break from studying to write for a bit, ( i hope this all makes sense, i’m really freaking sleepy rn yall T-T )

- C

Choi Yena - is she an idol or a stand up comedian? i guess we’ll truly never know

her bubbly personality and quick-witted jokes were actually the main reason you wanted to get so close to her in the first place, absolutely in awe of how she could bring a smile anyone’s face in mere seconds

which is why, after a few days of pep talks from your friends, you built up the courage to ask miss Yena on a date, to which she absolutely accepted

Yena was over the moon when you asked her, and the shocked look on her face told you just that as she hadn’t expected you to reciprocate her feelings - but her composure dropped for a mere nanosecond before she was back to her cheeky self, her arm already wrapping around your shoulder as she couldn’t wait to go on a date with you :]

one date quickly turned into much more, and you both felt the time flying by as you fell further and further for one another, leading to Yena asking you to make it official just a couple weeks later!

Everyone around you immediately gets soulmate vibes as soon as they see you two together, your chemistry is truly unmatchable

as wild and unhinged as Yena is, she always finds a sense of calm around you that she doesn’t with anyone else, and it’s always so cute to see her her usual cool girl facade bubble away when she’s with you

she has such a soft spot for you that no one else could ever get, and you love it so much when her chivalrous side comes out - plus the way she looks at you with so much makes you feel like the only person on the entire planet

Lowkey very cheesy, as in hand in your back pocket, don’t touch my baby type cheesy

(which you are an absolute sucker for, by the way)

every sentence ends with baby, no matter the context or who you’re with, she just loves calling you that SOO so much hehe

your guys’ relationship is truly like something out of like a 90′s teen movie, and no matter what Yena does, she always looks so damn cool that you can’t help but get an overwhelming amount of butterflies in your tummy

imagine Yena dropping you a text at the early hours of the morning telling you to come outside - you look out and see her on her motorbike, clad in her leather jacket and black jeans, lollipop lazily hanging from her lips as she waits for you to come outside GOD

and then she’ll take you to a little beach on the edge of town, the two of you snuggled up on the sand, only the sound of the waves to be heard as you shiver a little, even though you’re wrapped up in Yena’s leather jacket, and buried into her side :’)

Cuddles usually start with you laying in bed and Yena throwing herself on top of you, making you go “OOF” and making her giggle like an idiot

but once she gets comfortable, you best believe you guys aren’t moving for HOURS

and if you aren’t wearing an item of her clothing at ALL times its a national emergency and Yena must rectify that immediately

shows her love in many different peculiar ways, from squishing her cheeks against yours, poking her finger in your nostril, randomly nipping your earlobe or blowing raspberries against your skin while she lays her head on your stomach

funky little yena doing funky little dances in public whenever something makes her happy

which you have soon become a part of, leading to the two of you popping and locking in your local convenience store when the ice cream is on sale

However, while she presents herself as a strong, carefree person, none of us are free from worries, even Yena

when her thoughts get too loud, she’s feeling down, or even if she just had a bad day, you’re always there waiting for her with open arms and willing to listen to any of her worries; which she truly appreciates more than you could ever know.

Yena’s truly her authentic self when she’s with you - there’s no front, no shyness, she’s just pure Yena around you, and it’s so comforting to know she feels that comfortable around you to be that way.

(back to the fun stuff, sorry hjdfsjsd)

if you don’t already know how to skateboard, well you’ve basically got your very own tony hawk here to teach you how to become a pro skater

or if you suck she’ll just make you sit on her board and pull you along by the hand, both of you giggling like kids as she speeds up down the street

Her ideal date is somewhere where you two can have fun together, like the arcade, fair, going on trips (although no matter where you go, Yena always makes it fun :] )

you also both love the drive in theater near your house, and you guys go so often that you’ve basically created cuddle paradise in the back of Yena’s car, bundling up in the back, wrapped up in each others arms with the seats pushed down, wanting the night to go on forever <3

has probably said ‘no homo’ after a makeout session before

but to be honest, no matter what she says or does makes your heart flutter and fill with joy, because she truly is the m0st loving and happy spirit you’ve been honoured to have in your life, and you would never, ever change a single thing about her :)))))))))))

NSFW From Here:

yena cockiest little shit wbk

whenever she’s fucking you and you’re in any way trying to suppress your moans, she is NOT having it, simply opting to fuck you harder until you scream her name in that desperate tone that she loves so much

her favourite thing ever is memorizing the spots that make you moan a little louder, abusing your weaknesses over and over again until you’re a whimpering mess beneath her

HAS to mark you all over or else she’s not happy - leading to hickeys on the inside of your thighs, on your abdomen, your neck, collarbones, anywhere she can get access to she will always claim as hers

plus the satisfaction of seeing your spent body the morning after, the purple marks on your skin a sign of how good she made you feel makes her SO cocky n possessive and like. you’re HERS and no one is going to change that okay?

has fucked you in the back of her car after, or even during, your dates to the drive in theater,,, cuz girlie doesn’t really give a fuck, in her world its just you two and only you two

whenever you’re watching the movie, it usually ends up with you being engrossed in each scene, leaning into Yena’s side comfortably, thinking she’s paying as much attention as you - that is until you feel her hand creep towards the inside of your thigh, and that’s when you know you’re about 5 minutes away from screaming Yena’s name at the top of your lungs <3

when she invites you over to the practice room under the guise that she wants to teach you izone’s new choreo but then somehow you ended up on a chair in the middle room while Yena’s giving you a lap dance>>>>

when you’re in between her legs making you feel good and she’s looking down at you, her eyes hooded and her lip tucked between her teeth telling you how you’re doing such a good job....... FUCK

the kind of girl to whisper the filthiest words she can possibly think of in your ear then pull away and make a cheesy joke that leaves you mind absolutely REELING because like. her duality what the fuck

yena in nothing but a signature black choker with you riding her thigh in one of her oversized t-shirts, falling to pieces as she holds you close, relishing in the feeling of your dripping core against her skin,,,

also THAT mf that’ll tease you under the tables even when you’re with a group of people,, her annoying ass will just be relishing in the way your jaw clenches as you try so hard to not squirm as she teases you with her fingers

and those random times where you′re just like, at work or out shopping or vibing with your friends and then all of a sudden you get a video notification from Yena,,, and its a video of her in front of the mirror on your room, her legs spread and her fingers deep in her own heat, her breathes uneven as she does her best to keep her phone steady as she moans out your name

she LOVES doing that shit, knowing you’re turned on as fuck thanks to her just,, makes her feel so powerful

on those nights after Yena’s been away with schedules for a while and you finally get to see her, everything is always so intimate between, with longing kisses and lingering touches that truly are filled with not only lust but love too, pulling one another impossibly closer until all your senses are clouded with another.

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beetleshade · 4 years

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fantasy setting au rough ideas

sorry if this is any nonsense, i am very tired and just trying to get the key concepts

first off: body type ideas for the clans! obviously not everyone looks exactly (or even remotely) like this, but this is kind of the stereotype, or the standard of beauty (plus lots of bonus culture info <3).

- thunderclan are styled kind of like lions, with fluffy chests and a tuft at the end of their tail. they are mainly ambivalent towards humans. its common practice to wrap part or most of their tail to accentuate the tuft at the end. their preferred weapon is the sword.

- windclan are significantly taller than the other clans, and very lean, with broad shoulders and narrow hips. living the furthest from human settlements, they retain higher levels of inborn magic (why they look less like normal cats). they have large paws. they operate hidden mines on their territory, and supply the other clans with most of their tools in order to maintain peace and control of their increasingly valuable land. they are the least friendly with humans, and will defend their territory with force. their preferred weapon is the spear.

- riverclan are the most materially wealthy of the clans by human standards, and the most beautiful. almost all of their original mainland territory has been lost, so they live almost entirely in their ships, with young kits and elders living on their island settlements. they trade extensively with humans, and often wear jewelry and fine fabrics. many cats (read: windclan) consider their relations with humans traitorous and riverclan to be hardly better than kittypets. their preferred weapon is the dagger.

- shadowclan are the smallest of the clans on average, and have short, sleek pelts. they live mainly in the coniferous forest of their territory, but patrol their marshes extensively on silent punts, with patrols often staying out for days at a time and sleeping shifts in raised watchtowers. they are the second least friendly with humans. their preferred weapon is the bow.

- the tribe are stocky and solid, with thick, snow-resistant pelts. closely allied with windclan, they also retain more magic than most of the clans. they used to ride eagles, but as humans settled the land and leeched much of the magic from it the art was gradually lost. humans who venture into the mountains almost always disappear, and riverclan keeps a distance from their cliffs.

- skyclan had long arms and feathery, squirrel-like tails, and lived in the canopy of an ancient deciduous forest. they were initially friendly with human settlers, but as their territory was encroached upon they left the island to issue a plea to the human king to stop settlement of the island entirely. they were never seen again. this is a major part of the reason shadowclan, windclan, and the tribe do not like humans.

kittypets, loners, and rogues are not quite what they are in the books, and the clans do not have quite the same attitudes towards them.

kittypets are cats who, recognizing that cats are at a disadvantage to humans and unlikely to come out on top in the long run, have allied themselves completely with humans. they usually live in the house of a human and are fed by them in exchange for pest control and entertainment. wild cats view kittypets as weak-willed traitors and essentially voluntarily enslaving catkind, kittypets view wild cats as clinging to a dying way of life and blind to the trajectory of the world. if you have ever read the webcomic housepets, for many born kittypets it is kind of like that, they are treated basically like permanent kids.

loners are cats who recognize what they can gain from humans, but are not willing to compromise their independence. usually, this will mean living on or near a human property in their own house and doing working for a wage. for example, barley in this au lives in a small house on a farm and rides a dog, acting as a shepherd. he is paid enough to buy things like clothes and furniture, and is allowed to set his own rabbit traps on the property. he does not hunt mice in the barn, as he views this as beneath him. kittypets and wild cats view loners kind of like centrists.

rogues are cats who, like the clans, are against humans and want to preserve cat culture, but who do not live in groups. before humans came, rogues were treated by the clans essentially the same as in the books, but now, united against a common enemy, they are generally respected and allowed to traverse clan territory freely.

(this is rusty and greypaw’s first meeting, dont expect these clothes ideas to be permanent in any way i am still figuring that part out)

finally a little map i sketched up! ideally it would have a better sense of scale (i have always hated the scale of warriors....) but we cant have everything we want in life i guess. the island should be like 50 miles across? its not small. (yes I know the blue and purple look very similar yes I know my handwriting sucks)

tag list! (feel free to ask to b added to this :3)

@justanothadeadbloginthevoid

#warriors #warrior cats #wc #warriors au #fantasy au #concept #i know this is like. a lot #but i am excited about this!

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marindram · 3 years

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full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

Friends (0)

June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)

#omega mart #marin dram #omega mart lore

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ilovefandoms102 · 4 years

Text

Part 12- Shape of My Heart*

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @sexualparkour @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15 @hurricane-abigail @tangledinsparkles @fandom-phaser @sunwardsss @http-cherries @bibliophilewednesday @evaporatedrosepetals @thetomatosaucee @tomatosauceagent @redosmo @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @obx-direction-sos @mxltifandoms06 @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @gracielou0518 @hannahhistorian92

Part 11 Part 13

Note: Hope you guys enjoy and as always let me know what you think!

ps if you don’t like choking or roughness during the dirty stuff just skip it. 18+

=============================

Soft kisses on my face caused me to stir the next morning...

I cracked an eye open to see Rudy, his eyes still having that sleepy look. He leaned to kiss my lips, pulling back to brush some hair out of my face. His hair was a mess, pointing out in every direction, but it was a good look on him. I leaned to stretch my arms and legs, moving to wrap myself around him.

“I thought last night was a dream,” I mumbled, snuggling further into him.

“Me too honestly, as soon as the director said we were taking a break from filming for a while I hopped on a plane here. I couldn’t take another day without seeing your pretty face.” he smiled, chuckling when I hid my red face in his neck.

“I missed everyone, I...I don’t have a lot of friends here. You all are the only people I talk to.” I confessed.

“Bullshit, come on babe.” Rudy scoffed.

“No I...I’ve lost a lot of friends because of the way I look.” I murmured, memories of those awful times flooding my brain.

“Seriously? That’s insane, I couldn’t imagine looking at someone like ‘oh you’re a great friend and all but you look different so we can’t be friends’, like that’s fucking dumb.” he griped, pulling me tighter to him.

“It’s alright, I don’t need anyone but you and our little group.” I sighed, kissing wherever my lips fell.

“I still hate that you had to go through that, it breaks my heart.” he admitted, nuzzling his face into my shoulder.

“It’s in the past now, I’ll be ok as long as I have you.” I spoke, combing my fingers through his bedhead.

=========================================

I did have some school work I had to finish up today, but it still irked me that it was cutting into the limited time I had with Rudy. I was just finishing up when Rudy sat next to me, he had an anxious look on his face which made me panic.

"I want you to come to Alaska with me on your spring break, to meet my parents.” he blurted.

“I-I don’t know Ru, I don’t think they will like me.” I mumbled, nervously playing with my fingers.

“Of course they will, why would you think that?” he asked, looking at you quizzically.

“Because I’m not...I’m not who a famous actor should be with. I’m an embarrassment.” I sighed, looking away from him.

“Stop that shit right now...my parents aren’t like that. Speaking of which, when do I get to meet yours?” he questioned, changing the subject.

“I don’t know, I don’t really talk to them...I’m kind of on my own.” I shrugged, Rudy looked at me with worry in his eyes.

“Baby...” he pouted, curling up next to me.

“What? Why are you pouting?” I chuckled, kissing his forehead.

“I don’t like the thought of you being on your own...” he muttered, placing his chin on my shoulder.

“I was a lone wolf until I met you all, I’ve always just kept to myself.” I said, shutting my laptop down.

“Were people really that mean?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, no one in this town is acceptable unless you have the ideal body type.” I shrugged, laying back so his head fell on my thighs.

“All sizes are beautiful, I hate that our society is like this. There shouldn’t be such a thing as an ‘ideal body type’,” he ranted, flipping over so he could look at me.

“I’m glad you think so babe.” I chuckled, my phone starting to ring.

“Hi y/n,” my mom said after I picked up.

“Hey mom, what’s up?” I asked.

“I was hoping maybe you wanted to come over for dinner tonight?” she inquired.

“Make an extra plate.” I murmured, looking down at Rudy who smiled.

“Who else is coming?” she wondered.

“My boyfriend.” I spoke nervously.

================================

I paced back and forth in my living room, ready to go to my parents. However, I was more nervous than ever and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was not going to be a good night. Rudy looked good as ever, dressed in a black button down with khakis. I wore a tshirt dress my mom got me for my birthday a few years ago with some flats, keeping the hair and makeup low maintenance since it was just my parents.

“Baby why are you so stressed? It’s just your parents, we don’t have to stay long if it makes you that anxious.” Rudy said, trying to calm me down.

“I just have this really bad feeling...” I whispered, rubbing my arms.

Rudy stood from the couch, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my nose, making me giggle.

“It’s going to be ok, what could possibly happen?” he questioned, pushing me lightly towards the door.

Boy how I wish he hadn’t of said that....

================================

I pulled into my childhood home, my hands already starting to shake. Rudy opened my door for me, taking my hand in his. He kissed the back of it, giving me a reassuring smile. My mother came out on the porch, smiling as she caught sight of us. Rudy smiled wide as my mother took him in a hug, introducing herself.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Rudy Pankow.” Rudy spoke, my mother moving so I could lead us inside.

Rudy and I sat at the table while my mom was finishing up dinner, my father yet to make an appearance. My leg bounced nervously, biting at my nails I stared at the table. Rudy grabbed my hand from my mouth, keeping it in his. He took his other hand to place it on my leg, his thumb rubbing gentle circles to soothe me.

“Who’s this?” my father sneered, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment and anger.

“Rudy Pankow sir, it’s nice to meet you.” Rudy spoke, standing to shake my father’s hand.

“Are you one of y/n’s friends?” my father asked skeptically, shaking Rudy’s hand.

“Boyfriend actually,” Rudy smiled, looking at me adoringly. My mother entered the dining room, sitting the food on the table.

“Boyfriend? My y/n? HA yeah, maybe once she loses a few pounds.” my father chuckled, Rudy’s face falling.

“Can we please have a nice dinner?” my mother said, staring daggers at my father.

My parents took their seats across from Rudy and I, scooping a helping on their plates. I picked around at my food, gripping Rudy’s hand tighter than I meant to.

“So, y/n...when did this start?” my mom asked, pointing at Rudy and I.

“About two and a half months ago when I went to LA.” I answered, glancing up to see my father staring at me quizzically.

“Let me get this straight, this isn’t a joke? You actually like my daughter?” my father questioned, my mother hissing something to him.

“Um no, I’ve liked y/n for over a year before we even started dating. I don’t understand why you think y/n couldn’t be with me?” Rudy inquired, making my death grip on his hand somehow tighter.

“Well son, it’s no secret y/n is well...not exactly who people would picture you with.” my father answered.

“Why?” he asked.

“Rudy stop.” I whispered, but he shook his head at me.

“I guess if you’re going to make me say it, she’s fat.” my father shrugged, my heart clenching in my chest.

“You say that about your own daughter?” Rudy growled.

“Just speaking the truth.” my father said.

“If you were speaking the truth sir, you’d say that y/n is the most beautiful woman. You’d say any man would be lucky to have her because she is an incredible person, a person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Rudy rambled, making my eyes wide.

“What?” I whispered, my mother choked on her food.

“It’s um, a little soon to be talking about that don’t you think? Barely three months of dating and you want to spend forever together? It just seems a little impractical.” my mother pointed out.

“Rudy, let’s go.” I huffed, scooting my chair out.

“Y/n, sit back down.” my father griped.

I ignored them, stomping out of the house. I was fucking pissed at them for embarrassing me like that. I sat in my car as I waited for Rudy, on the verge of crying. Rudy came out a few minutes later, frowning as he got in the car with me.

“I’m sorry Ru,” I mumbled, laying my head on the steering wheel.

“Nothing to be sorry about. I wanted to punch the shit out of your dad though.” he admitted, shaking his head.

================================

“You know I really like that dress.” Rudy said as we got out of the car.

“Thanks,” I chuckled, walking into the apartment.

“I think it would look better on the floor though.” he suggested, my insides heating up.

“Oh you do?” I asked, the sultriness in my voice shocking me.

“Take it off for me.” he demanded, unbuttoning a few buttons on his shirt.

I started to take it off, getting just above my undies before stopping. I walked to my room instead, kicking my shoes off. I heard loud footsteps behind me, excitement building in my belly. I gasped as Rudy took a hold of my arm, whirling me around to face him. His eyes grew a shade darker, making me squirm before him.

“Hmmm, that was not very nice.” he growled, his hand coming to wrap around my throat. I moaned, a smirk forming on his lips.

He walked me back to the bed, throwing me roughly to a sitting position. He stripped me himself, pushing my chest so that I was laying down. Rudy yanked off my underwear, inserting his fingers into me. I gasped loudly, wiggling on the bed. He slapped my thigh, a low rumble came from deep in his chest.

“No noise, no moving. You move or make a sound, you don’t get to cum.” he barked, a whimper catching in my throat.

He stripped himself, getting on his knees. He buried his face into my heat, sucking and licking all around the places that made me tick the most. I had to bite down on my hand to keep from screaming, using all my willpower to keep my muscles still. Rudy inserted his tongue into me, flicking it around. His fingers came up to rub my clit, my teeth biting harder into my hand.

I couldn’t hold it, I involuntarily let out a moan so loud I’m sure my neighbors heard. Rudy stopped immediately, tsking as he pulled away.

“You were doing so good baby,” he sighed.

“No Rudy don’t.” I whined, earning another slap to my thigh.

“I don’t take orders from you sweetheart.” he snapped, a whine leaving my throat.

He began to slowly and tortuously rub me, making my legs jump. He inserted his fingers at the same time, moving as slow as possible. I frustratedly moved on my bed, letting out a grunt.

Then he began to move his fingers faster, pounding them into me. I yelped, my legs trying to close in on him. He held them back, laughing as I cried out to him. Just as I was about to cum, he stopped. My hips bucked from the bed, my fists hitting the mattress.

Rudy grabbed my hips, flipping me over on my stomach. He jerked my hips up so that I was on all fours, my hands curled into my sheets nervously. He slapped my ass hard, a strangled yelp leaving my lips. He leaned down to slurp at the wetness seeping from me, my upper body almost collapsed on the bed. It was so hot, but it was also starting to make me wish I had just listened to him in the first place.

He inserted his tongue into me again, shaking his head to bury his face deeper into me. The facial hair on his chin rubbed my clit, making me gasp loudly.

“Baby please please let me cum, I’m sorry.” I moaned, feeling myself start to come close to the edge again.

He moved his tongue to swipe at my clit, taking it between his lips to suck on it. My legs started to shake as I came close to snapping, my breathing picking up before Rudy pulled away. I put my face in the sheets as I screamed in frustration.

Rudy yanked me up by my hair, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

“You’ll get to cum when I want you to, if that is at all tonight.” he hummed deeply, his deep voice churning my insides.

“Fuck,” I groaned, slamming my head back down.

He plunged his length inside of me, cursing as he came to grip my ass cheeks. Rudy moved his hands to hold my hips, sliding all the way before ramming himself back in. He did that a few times, a choked moan leaving my throat. I cried out when he began a to roughly thrust inside of me, grabbing a hold of my hair to keep my head up.

The sound of skin slapping filled the room along with the pants and grunts from the two of us. He moved one hand to pinch my clit, a squeal leaving my lips as he began to rub it between his fingers.

“Do you think you deserve it pretty girl? Do you think you deserve to cum on me?” he gritted, his fingers burning my scalp as he yanked my head back further.

“Yes please baby, I can’t take it anymore. I need it, I want you to make me cum.” I whimpered, hoping that would spark a fire in him.

He pulled out, flipping me back over to my back.

“I want to see your face when you scream who’s fucking you this good.” he growled.

And scream I did because Rudy plowed himself harder than before, angling our hips so that he could hit that special spot that had me shaking in a matter of seconds. I scratched at his shoulders, trickles of blood beginning to form on his tan skin.

“Please let me cum, let me cum, let me cum.” I begged, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

He brought his hand back to rub viciously at my clit, my back arching off the bed. My breathing became more labored, Rudy’s grunts becoming louder.

“Ok baby, cum.” he spoke.

My eyes rolled back into my head as I came, my whole body locking up. Rudy shouted as I clamped down on his member, his hips stuttering as he stilled inside of me. Ropes of him jetted inside of me, but I was still coming down from my orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Rudy breathed, a breathy laugh left my lips.

“That was hot.” I panted, wiping the sweat off my forehead.

“I say we shower and do it again.” he smirked, pulling me off the bed.

“You are not torturing me like that again!” I shouted as he dragged me to my shower.

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creepypocky · 3 years

Note

-Hi anon

Can i have a matchup???

It will have bad english bcs is not my first language

Can be both(romantic + nsfw)

My pronouns are she/her

I am pansexual

Idk about my style, like i always wear black,i love wear skirts,with a big boot too(make me fell like a powerful🤟 heheh)

So basically i wear all black like,my shoes and all my clothes

My hobbies is play videogames,listen to music,dance(i have belly dance classes),and watch videos(about true crime,body language, countries and other things),and read.

I am interested in true crime,body language, countries, witchcraft,games,music,another languages many things

(so about ideals i put in a translator i think will ve about a person that i want,i think is that)

So i am very cold heart (like i dont fall in love too fast) i would like someone that pays much attention on me like much attention,being loyal and treating me like a princess im okay with that👌

My favorite type of person is a person that likes to listen and talk bcs i talk to much,a person that is funny

The kind of people i hate is jealousy people(i have deal with many of that)and people that always want attention,slow people too

Things i like:

I like soccer, witchcraft,flags,games,music,nature,cats!!,flowers,dance,food(obv),memes,pandas,snake,spiders,true crime,body language,candy,horror movies,cold weather (kinda rare here) amusement park ,take care of myself(i think is only that)

Things i dislike:

I dont like dogs(dont judge me i really scared about them not good experiences),i dont like rivers,lakes and beach(scared too👌)lazy people, annoying kids,summer,tik tok songs(i just cant deal with that),peole that hate Carnaval(samba etc)(sorry i have many but i cant remember, everything annoy me)

I am Aries with am ascendant in cancer

I am ambivert (everything go in relation to my emotion)

NSFW:

I am switch

My kinks are basically bdsm but the hardcore(idk how to describe my kinks but basically fell pain will be everything to me,have my makeup ruined after,messy hair,red bcs of slaps,and hate fuck,idk how to explain but is kinda when you want but you act like you don't)

I would like someone to suck my tits

I have size kink,someone being much taller then me its just amazing(will make me fell like a sub,i will try to dominate anyways)but i short person will be good to (i wann be a dom mommy👌)

I dont fell comfortable being all naked i would like to be fucked wearing a skirt

Things that turn me off

The person being funny during the sex(being serious is the secret)

Hello, I'm sorry I took forever to get to this. I took a big break from writing but I'm back now, so here ya go. Hope you're doing well, :)

And don't worry, I can understand your English just fine!

|| I match you with: Jane The Killer! ||

So, I matched you with this girl cause she has kinda the same energy plus she's very sassy and also gets annoyed by a lot of things, but she will always put you first and give you lots of attention, she doesn't like many people and it's hard for her to get along with everyone but she warms up to you because you just seem so spicy to her.

And your style is also pretty similar to hers, she loves black clothing and tall boots. She will want to dress you up all the time and maybe lend some of her clothes to you if she has some for your size. I don't know what exactly her size is, but I canon her being above average female height, so take that as you will.

She likes music and dancing, she loves dancing to herself in her free time, and although she doesn't like people knowing about it she wouldn't mind you watching since you also like dancing. She would like you to teach her belly dancing though because she thinks that dance style is very beautiful and would want to learn from somebody she cares about. She's not sure about video games because BEN always annoys her but she wouldn't mind watching you play them.

She's really into true crime as well, she likes to predict things that will happen or try to solve any mysteries that appear. She'd also have a lot of fun laughing at people that commit really dumb crimes since she's basically a professional so a lot of amateur people will just amuse her and she would think about how she would do it differently and better than them.

She will definitely treat you like a princess, as long as you respect her back. She don't take shit from anyone, other than just harmless joking. But she will definitely spoil you because you mean so much to her, plus she always dreams about having somebody to spoil and spend all of her time with. She's usually a pretty serious person, but when she's in the mood or she's drunk she will loosen up and be funny, especially when she's with you because she feels safe around you and know you wouldn't judge that side of her. She doesn't like dogs either, she's more of a cat person.

She is definitely not lazy, she takes her work very seriously and she doesn't let anything get in the way of her job, even if she is tired. The only time she really relaxes is when she doesn't actually have anything to do or if you want to spend time with her.

NSFW:

She's usually a dom but she would let you dom her just to see how you would do, plus she loves it to be fun and thinks it would be boring if she just dominated you all the time. She will definitely suck your tits, she would worship them in fact. She loves everything to do with your tits, honey.

She likes rough bdsm and hate fucking too, she would love to hold you down and scratch along your torso with her long nails. She would love you being a brat because it makes everything interesting to her when you play hard to get, it makes her want to catch you like you're her prey.

She is very serious during sex even when its BDSM because it's personal to her and she's doing it with somebody she loves so she feels like it's not something to be amused with.

I hope this was okay! I hope you liked it and again I'm very sorry for taking such a long break. Have a great day/night. :)

#creepypasta smut #creepypasta #creepypasta fluff #fluff #jane the killer creepypasta #jane the killer #creepypasta matchups #matchup

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cuttlefishkitch · 4 years

Note

hello! i haven't talked to you before, but ron said that i could ask you for some advice on writing eds? (i'd like to know things to avoid/common things that could come up in everyday life that would be good to mention/the sort of aids and stuff they'd have maybe?/anything else you think is relevant)

Hi! Sorry this took so long, a combination of ADHD and chronic pain slowed me way the fuck down. Thank you for being patient!

EDIT: WEIRD HEEL THINGS I FORGOT!!

So, before I get into this I should probably say I technically haven’t been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS for anyone reading) because it’s one of those syndromes that takes forever to get diagnosed with (it took a friend of mine’s mother over 30 years to get dxed). Many doctors, and everyone I know who does have EDS agree with me that it’s probably what causes my chronic joint pain and some of my other chronic issues. But just because three separate doctors have said “Yeah Probably” doesn’t mean I’m diagnosed!! Only a geneticist can do that!! And they had two-three year waitlists BEFORE the apocalypse happened.

I am diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Small Fiber Neuropathy, and potentially misdiagnosed with Fibromyalgia (once I get properly tested for EDS I might get undiagnosed with this because I don’t have most of the main symptoms of Fibro, but I got diagnosed with it anyway because it’s what doctors misDX you with when they don’t know what’s wrong with you and don’t want to do more tests).

All that said, I’ve done a lot of research about EDS (mainly because it’s the only thing that explains all my symptoms since doctors seem incapable of doing so), and know a few people who have either confirmed or suspected EDS, so I’ll link to some stuff, talk about the symptoms that often come with EDS, explain how the symptoms I have affect me, because just because someone’s not diagnosed doesn’t mean they aren’t having symptoms, and probs elaborate a bit about writing physical disabilities and chronic pain in general because it’s super important to me!

So RESOURCES aka how to make sure your post never sees the light of day because you’re linking things and tumblr hates it when people give other people information!!

Youtubers! If you want to know about the day to day of living with EDS or any disability or chronic illness I super suggest finding a youtuber that makes videos about their life. My EDS favorites are

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Annie Elainey

Amy Lee Fisher

Websites! If you’re asking random folks on tumblr I’m assuming (and hoping) you’ve already done the basic WebMD google searches and looked over the seemingly ridiculous lists of symptoms and related conditions, so here are a few websites that are made more for people than for doctors.

The Ehlers Danlos Society

OhTWIST (That’s Why I’m So Tired)

ChronicPainPartners (the fact that they have an entire section of articles called “Dealing with Doctors” should really tell you something)

Books! If you feel like doing actual reading! I suggest reading books written by people with Ehlers Danlos, to get a feel for how they portray themselves. I’m not saying steal, but it’s probably a good point of comparison to see how your portrayal feels. (haven’t actually read these b/c my ADHD doesn’t let me read)

Ria Ruse by Morgan S. Ray (a superhero book with a disabled super MC!!)

Mysteries of Maybelle by Imani Benfell (Imani is still in high school and has already written and self-published a book cause she didn’t have enough representation for herself how cool is she!!)

Bodies in Motion by Liana Brooks (tw for pregnancy problems and miscarriages in the link, because it’s a blog post talking about integrating EDS symptoms into the story without explicitly naming them as such)

OKAY, now for some rambling about EDS SYMPTOMS!!!

Ehlers Danlos is one monster of a genetic condition in complexity and variety. There are THIRTEEN different identified types of EDS, it often comes with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and/or POTS, and can lead to various other conditions like gastroparesis, chiari malformation, craniocervical instability, and/or bad teeth. So if you’re going to be writing a character with EDS consider what other comorbid conditions they might also have. I’m mainly going to be talking about Hypermobile EDS (hEDS) because it’s what I probably have and what I’m most familiar with. That said there is a lot of overlap in symptoms with the other varieties.

I started typing this section and realized I was going to have to break it down even more so we’re going to talk about Chronic Pain, Unstable Joints (Dislocations and Subluxations), Skin Things, Mobility Issues, and Other Weird Shit and how those things get addressed separately.

Gonna get the Other Weird Shit out of the way first. Because EDS is a malfunction of connective tissue it can fuck up all sorts of random things. For instance, I and many other people w/ hEDS have trouble swallowing. Shit gets stuck in my throat, I sometimes choke on and have to cough up food, and pills can be hard to swallow, which sucks cause I take A Lot Of Pills. If it doesn’t cause full-on gastroparesis it can cause IBS or other digestive problems b/c the digestive tract is mostly made of connective tissue. It can potentially cause heart problems even if they aren’t as big of a risk as in some other forms of EDS. Premature osteoarthritis is common because what you need is more joint pain. And Fatigue OH BOY THE FATIGUE. And of course the headaches, can’t forget those pesky migraines can we!

AND piezogenic papules!! I completely forgot!! Piezogenic papules are little white bumps that appear when you put weight on your heel. In some people they hurt, but in others they don’t. They’re technically tiny little herniations of fat peaking through the fascia in the heel. They were added as part of the diagnostic criteria for hEDS in 2017!

Now for Skin Things cause it’s not as big a thing in hEDS as it is in other forms. Basically, in a lot of forms of EDS, the skin is extra stretchy and extra delicate. It bruises and tears easily, people with the extreme versions of this can accidentally scratch something into an open wound if they aren’t careful. My skin is pretty soft and sensitive, I def have the typical velvety skin, and as is pretty par for the course of someone with hEDS my skin is a little stretchy, and sorta delicate. I’m not as tissue-papery as some people get, but I almost always have at least one mystery bruise or scrape b/c existing is hazardous. Most of scars are also pretty normal, unlike the extremely papery and atrophic scars (though I have a few tiny acne scars that are atrophic) that are common with other kinds of hEDS. Something that I DO have is Lots of Stretch Marks, all over my thighs, and even down to my calves. Which wouldn’t be abnormal, except for the fact that I’ve never been over 145 lbs and I’ve never been pregnant. Having a lot of stretch marks or striations in the skin without due cause happens because the structure of the skin isn’t as strong as it is in people with a normal amount of connective tissue.

I don’t have to worry as much about my skin but people that do are usually very careful with adhesives because they can irritate or tear the skin, which sucks when you need a lot of bandaids cause your darn skin won’t do its job.

Now on to the meatier stuff and since I’m mostly working backward let’s do Mobility Issues!! These can happen in loads of ways, but a lot of what causes these in people with EDS are the other two things I wanna talk about. Unstable joints lead to increased risk of injury when doing stuff people with fully functioning joints can do.

For context, I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk, but a lot of the time it’s better if use a chair. Mine is mostly for my POTS symptoms, but the fact that my legs aren’t also in absolute agony is a big plus. I use a custom manual wheelchair with a SmartDrive (b/c I’m very fucking fortunate and have good insurance) whenever I leave the house and have to be “walking” for more than a few minutes at a time. I can’t fully self-propel in a manual chair because it would be damaging to the joints in my arms and hands, but the smaller chair is easier to maneuver in less than accessible spaces (like almost everywhere). There was about a month-long span where I used a very cheap and very bulky electric chair while I was waiting on the ideal set up I have now. Before that, I also briefly used, and sometimes still use, an up-right posture cane.

People with EDS have widely varying mobility issues because of how uniquely it can manifest. My cane only gave me a little help with balance because if I used it in any prolonged capacity any pain it took away from my legs was relocated to my arms, and as an artist, my arms are more important to me!

If you’re going to write a character with EDS having mobility issues as a result of their EDS the best thing to do is to narrow down their specific needs. Are their knees complete and utter garbage but their shoulders and wrists strong? Maybe they can get away with using a cane. Can they not stand for longer than 5 minutes because of the vertigo from their POTS? Maybe they need a manual wheelchair. Would propelling themself damage their back and arm joints? An electric chair might be necessary! Plenty of people with EDS use all sorts of combinations of these aides to get around their life, consider how your character’s good and bad days would be. Do they have back up plans if they overestimate themselves? There can be a lot to manage, but don’t let it scare you off! Sometimes I try and make it into a resource management game (because I’m a game designer and that’s what I do), to make evaluating my energy and mobility needs more fun!

But now let's tackle some of the reasons those mobility aides might be needed. Unstable Joints.

Ever stepped wrong and rolled your ankle? It hurts for a few steps and then kinda fixes itself, or maybe it bothers you for the rest of the day and you put it up and ice it when you get home? When I was walking around outside my house that would happen AT LEAST once a month, usually more. Some times I’m sitting wrong and when I get up my knee isn’t a knee anymore and decides to just give out from under me. My knuckles are made of unruly popcorn and they Don’t Want To Stay Home!! Oh! And my shoulder is more often out a little out of its socket than it is fully in.

Unstable joints lead to Dislocations and Subluxations of varying intensity, and some people get them more frequently than others. Some can be severe enough to necessitate hospital visits and even surgery, some subluxations are so banal (like my fUCKING SHOULDER) that you just learn to live with the pain.

If a character is going to be in high action, combat-heavy scenarios, chances are they’re going to be popping out joints left and right. Hell, depending on the severity of their joint laxity they could be doing the same sitting at a desk. Again, it’s incredibly varied. I’d suggest setting some sort of baseline for yourself, of what a character’s joints can and can’t stand up to, and maybe do some research on which joints are most likely to pop out in general (hips and shoulders are big culprits being the wacky ball and socket motherfuckers they are). Then maybe have something pop out or hold up every so often when it shouldn’t cause hey! EDS is kinda just like that! Unpredictable!

Some ways people manage joint laxity is with braces, KT tape, and physical therapy. Braces come in many different forms, since I’m currently getting pretty much no treatment for my shitty joints I use mostly compression braces made for sporty people. It really is amazing how much a bit of tight fabric can do to keep my wrist in place.

More specialized braces often have solid parts to prevent the joints from hyper-extending (bending the wrong way) and causing further damage. If you ever see someone with what looks like diamond shaped rings around a bunch of their finger joints, chances are those are Ring Splints, and are there to keep the finger shaped like a finger. I want to get my hands on some and get some on my hands Very Badly, because my fingers hyper-extend SO MUCH when I type, and it makes my hand pain way way worse.

KT tape is another thing people often use. It’s stretchy tape you put on your skin and it basically functions kinda like a second ligament as well as reinforcing the joint and keeping the bones mostly where they’re supposed to be. The problem with this is a lot of people with EDS have very sensitive and fragile skin like I mentioned before, so KT tape can cause allergic reactions, chronic skin irritation, or just straight up take the skin with it when someone goes to remove it. Hence a lot of folks are really careful with it.

Physical Therapy is kinda the best (and only) treatment for joint laxity aside from Very Invasive and sometimes Highly Experimental surgery. It focuses on strengthening the muscles around the joints so they can do the work all those bone ropes made of body glue can’t. The problem is finding a physical therapist that 1) knows what EDS even is, 2) knows you have it, and 3) knows how to treat it without doing stuff that’ll Phucking Hurt You Worse!! Because exercising wrong with EDS can do Permanent Damage!!!

Again most folks use a combination of all of these things, or have next to no access to them b/c healthcare sucks.

Anyway, on to one of my favorite topics, Chronic Pain!! One of the reasons this post took me so long!!!

Chances are if your character has chronic pain as a result of their EDS there are gonna be some things they hate, including stairs, rain, thunderstorms, stairs, hills, uneven terrain, oh and did I mention stairs??? It’s going to vary person to person, but almost everyone I’ve met with pain from EDS has complained about their knees. For me the most debilitating pain is in my fingers and wrists. They’re by far my least stable joints but I use them constantly for stuff like drawing, typing, and sewing.

Because my joint pain is so wide spread, like most people’s with hEDS, it effects every single part of my day to day life. I can’t carry a heavy ceramic plate, open a bottle, or even use my computer without pain. It’s practically impossible for me to get comfortable in any position be it sitting or laying down, and as you can imagine that makes it hard to sleep a lot of the time. Moving too much hurts, but so does sitting still. I’m constantly taking braces on and off or cracking/stretching my joints so they pop back into place and hurt less.

Also being in pain makes everything else That Much Worse. I get tired way faster than I did before my pain was this bad (I had chronic pain for a while before actually realizing it wasn’t normal to not be able to walk down the block without feeling like your foot bones are trying to escape). My sensory issues and anxiety disorder are more easily aggravated because my base level of comfort is way worse. It fucks with my depression. And OH BOY does it make my ADHD worse because being in pain is fucking distracting as hell and makes it harder to make decisions and switch tasks. Also my ADHD often makes my other symptoms worse cause I forget to take my meds, don’t drink enough water, or can’t find my fucking braces because the item eating black-hole that comes with ADHD stole them. The intersection of mental and physical disabilities is probably a rant for another time though, so back to chronic pain.

Does it suck? Yes, undoubtedly. Is this incredibly debilitating? Of course it is, I spent the last several months unable to feed myself without assistance because there was a staircase between my room and the kitchen and I could only manage to climb it once a day. Is it overwhelming? Definitely, I’ve frequently broken down crying from a combination of pain and frustration because I’m having a bad day and there’s no relief to be found. Am I able to predict when it’s going to rain with uncanny accuracy because any change in barometric pressure makes me feel like every bone in my body is trying to kill it’s neighbors? You bet your fucking ass I am!! Does it sometimes make me irritable, angry, and occasionally dismissive of when abled people get cold or a temporary injury because the stuff they’re complaining about is my life every single day and all avenues of treatment and recovery I have could take years and still not entirely solve my issues? Yeah, and while I deserve a little extra patience I also have to be sure to check myself because I don’t want to turn into someone who’s nasty to be around. Do I sometimes need to sleep for 17 hours straight because it’s raining, I have migraine, and I’m in too much pain to be conscious? Yup, sometimes a few days in a row. Does living in constant pain mean I’m unable to do all the things I want to and does that sometimes make me wanna curl up in bed and never leave? Yeah, it happens.

But! And here’s the big important but, that’s not everything! I still write, draw, and talk to my friends!! It might take me a little longer but I get there. I’m still happy and excitable and make the time to write out five page long posts about EDS because it’s something I’m passionate about! My chronic pain doesn’t stop me. I refuse to let it. I never really wanted to go mountain climbing anyway, so I’m perfectly happy being able to make it up and down the six steps in my house, even if sometimes I have to sit and bump down them on my ass, or crawl up them like a cat. Chronic pain isn’t all I am. It isn’t a fate worse than death. It isn’t the only thing your character should talk about (though I do talk about my pain a lot cause I’m a complainer about almost everything). You can have your character be hindered by their pain, realistically they would be. You can have them seek comfort, support, and relief. Other characters can commiserate and be sympathetic, but it doesn’t mean their whole life is going to be one big pity party, that would be incredibly fucking boring. I know I’d be bored out of my mind.

All that said dealing with chronic pain, especially from EDS, is Complicated. Physical Therapy is the gold standard, but like I said before it can be a long and difficult process, and isn’t always accessible. Stabilization methods like I talked about before can help prevent pain, or reduce it by keeping bones mostly where they belong. Heat and cold help joints, relax muscles, and reduce inflammation but keeping them applied is rough and the relief doesn’t always last. Doctors prescribe anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and sometimes even anti-epileptic medication to help manage pain, but everyone’s mileage with those varies. And I’m not at all qualified to talk in-depth about narcotics or other heavy duty pain-meds, but suffice to say the war on drugs fucked shit up for people that legit need that kind of help BIG TIME.

Now for my closer/bonus rant about EDS and Disability Writing in General!

Everyone always says write what you know, so if you really want to do disabled people justice, get to know disabled people! Make friends with disabled people, get involved with advocacy groups, consume content made by disabled creators both about disability and not! Disabilities are so fucking diverse, even EDS is such a complex disorder, and comes with so many potential co-morbidities, that practically everyone with it has a unique experience. There’s no way I can fully explain everything in a tumblr post. Hell, even if I could talk to you for hours probably couldn’t give you enough info to answer all your questions (especially since I’m still in diagnosis hell :,) ), so talk to a wide range of people with EDS and other disabilities!! I know it sounds like a lot of work but trust me, disabled people are some of the strongest, raddest, coolest, people you will ever meet that it won’t feel like it.

And don’t be afraid either, the fact that EDS and other disabilities are so wildly varied means that you have a little bit of wiggle room with your character’s experience. There’s so little disability rep out their I think people are WAY to scared to try their hand at writing it. So long as your character is a fully developed person in addition to being disabled, you give some logical thought as to how it would affect their life, and you don’t make their disability the butt of any joke it isn’t difficult to avoid ableist writing. PLEASE WRITE MORE DISABLED PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WITH CHRONIC PAIN/CHRONIC ILLNESS!!

Okay that’s it, again sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! My fingers were being little pests about it, and my ADHD (which is honestly more disabling than everything else a lot of the time lmao) was being an asshole! Hope this helps, and feel free to ask me more questions if you need clarification! It might take me a bit but I do love talking about this stuff.

#neela-chaan #ehlers danlos syndrome #EDS #hEDS #hypermobile ehlers danlos #disability #writing advice #disability writing #Chronic Pain #asks #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG IM JUST SLOW #also i'm sorry the formatting is such a wreck #my adhd won't let me go back and fix it #and i've already spent way too much time

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13-reasons-ideas · 4 years

Text

Can’t Go Back Part 6

I woke up early the next morning so I could take my time getting ready and get some notes done before leaving. I slipped on my soft bunny slippers and quietly made my way downstairs.

“Morning Addison.” My dad said from the island. I jumped, not expecting him to be up this early on a Saturday.

“Jesus.” I muttered under my breath, “morning Dad.”

“You got in pretty late last night.”

“Yeah, had to wrangle Justin into the car and take him home.”

“Uh huh.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed myself a cup of tea before going back upstairs. I waved to my mom as she left the master bedroom and closed my door tightly. “How was your night last night Addison? It was good, thanks for asking dad.” I muttered to myself as I drank my tea and jotted some ideas down in my notebook.

Around ten thirty I decided it was time to start getting ready. I grabbed my panda shower cap and took a quick shower before putting on my black raspberry vanilla lotion. It was time for the real work to begin now. I stood in front of my closet and flipped through the options I had. I pulled out a few cardigan options and a few more casual dresses and paired them together on hangers before holding each option up to my body. The first option was a black cardigan and a red dress. “No, that’s too dark for a daytime coffee date.” Next up was a yellow dress with a cream cardigan. “Too bright. This cardigan is nice though….” Finally, I settled on a light denim blue dress sleeveless dress, with buttons down the middle. It hit my mid-thigh respectably and I paired it with the cream cardigan from before. Time for jewelry. Picking out a rose gold necklace with a circle pendant, my rose gold arrow bracelet, and my floral print watch band, it was time to tackle my hair and makeup. I went with a simple half up half down bun and left my second day waves mostly untouched. I did, however, fix the few curls that had completely fallen out and brushed them out with my fingers after they cooled slightly. I kept my makeup light and minimal, just some tinted moisturizer and a couple dots of concealer under my eyes set with powder, simple eyeshadow and brow powder, a thin line of brown liquid liner, nude blush, and a ‘my lips but better’ pink lipstick topped with nude gloss. Nothing too crazy, just enough to look put together. “Now to pick a pair of shoes… hmm. Let’s see. Sneakers?” I picked up my old pair of Converse. They were in less than ideal condition, especially for a first date. “Not sneakers. Flats?” I grabbed a couple of pairs but none of them really went. “No. Plus I’m short. These just make me look shorter. Maybe a pair of booties?” I pulled a pair of grey heels off the shelf, but they didn’t quite match well enough, “close, but no cigar.” I dug around in my closet for a couple of minutes, searching for the nude pair of the same shoes. “Ah ha. Found them.”

Setting the shoes by my bedroom door, I checked my watch. It was just after noon. I went downstairs to grab an apple from the kitchen. “Well don’t you look nice.” My mom mused, softly from her seat on the couch. She appeared to be grading papers and didn’t really look up. Teacher eyes. Dad was sitting opposite her reading the new issue of The Economist.

“Oh yeah, I’m just going to Monet’s for coffee with a friend from school. I have to leave soon.” After our short exchange, I zipped back upstairs to gather my things. I took a second to decide if I should bring my notebook. Never know when inspiration will hit. At the last second, I threw it into my bag, along with my favourite pen and slipped my shoes on. “I’m leaving now.” I called to my parents as I walked out the door.

“Have fun at the mall sweetie.” Dad mumbled after me, not even looking up from his magazine.

I arrived at Monet’s at five minutes to one and Monty was already there, waiting for me. The white shirt and red flannel he was wearing did wonders for his arms and toned chest. I tore my eyes away and mentally wiped away the drool, hoping it wasn’t too obvious I was staring. Looking up, I smiled at him and waved at him, my accent glitter pink nail polish catching the light. He waved back and I started towards him. “You look amazing.” He said, taking me in.

“You look good too. Not at all hungover.” I replied, looking down shyly, even after my quip and our public kiss the night before.

“What can I say, a cup of coffee and a shower work wonders.” He joked. It was slightly awkward while we waited in line. We hadn’t really talked much outside of classes, so we weren’t sure where to start.

“Do you want to share a slice of cake?” Monty asked.

“Sure. Anything but carrot.”

“Chocolate?”

“Delicious. The best kind of cake.”

“I agree.”

It was our turn and we did the totally cliché thing of starting at the same time. “What can I get you?” The barista asked.

“Can I get a-.”

“May I have-.”

Monty turned to me, “you first.”

“May I have a non-fat latte with a cinnamon stick please?”

“Sure thing. Did you want a syrup at all?”

“No thank you. Just a plain latte and a stick of cinnamon.” She typed in my request and turned her attention to Monty.

“And yourself?”

“I’ll just have a black dark roast. And a slice of chocolate cake with two forks.”

“Coming right up.” She replied, smiling as she typed in the order and Monty paid her. I scouted a table near the back and pointed it out to my date. He nodded at me motioned for me to go over.

“I’ve got this.” I nodded and made my way over. To pass the time I pulled out my notebook and doodled a bit, waiting for either him to come over or inspiration to hit. It wasn’t long before he followed and sat down.

“One non-fat cinnamon sticked latte for the lady.” He flourished, sliding the cup over to me. I smiled and blushed, before noticing he was trying to sneak a peek at my notebook. I shut it quickly and slipped it into my bag. He chuckled.

“Secret diary Addison?” At least we have moved past awkwardly stating facts. I stirred my latte as he watched me, waiting for a response.

“No, not secret. Just private.”

“So private you brought it on a date?”

“I don’t leave the house without it. And we never explicitly said this was a date.” I smirked.

“Well I’m saying it now. It’s a date.”

“Alright then. We have established that, so does this mean we can break into the cake now?” I asked, picking up my fork.

He laughed and his eyes shone under the soft lighting. “I thought you’d never ask. I didn’t want to be rude.” Picking up his fork, he urged me to take the first bite. It was wonderful. Perfectly moist and not too dense. Just the right cake to icing ratio, the chocolate not overpowering. I could feel my pupils dilate and watched Montgomery smirk. “Good?”

“Yes. Taste it.” He eagerly took a bite and I watched as his eyes widened and he sucked in a breath. He took the time to really savour the bite. When he was done, he looked at me, a sated look on his face.

“That was the best bite of cake I have ever had.” He whispered, as though speaking at a normal volume would ruin the moment. “I know right?” I whispered back.

“Do we take another bite?”

“I think so. Together?”

“On three.”

I nodded. “One.”

“Two.”

“Three.” We said together, sticking our forks in the chocolate deliciousness, and biting at the same time. It was still great the second time around. After another bite each, we set the cake aside. I blew on my still hot latte and took a tentative sip. Monty was looking at me intently when I put my cup down.

“What?” I asked, my brow furrowing slightly.

“You have a little….” He motioned to his face. I did the same, apparently missing whatever was marring my face. “Here.” He reached over, swiping his thumb just above my lip, showing me the bit of icing before licking it off in a way that was somehow not gross, but rather, incredibly attractive. He took a drink from his cup and continued, “I’m surprised you didn’t bring a novel with you Addy.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I hardly ever see you without your nose in a book or with a book in hand.”

“I do other things you know.”

“Mhmm. I’ve heard Justin talk about you in the locker room.”

“He talks about me?”

“Sometimes. Nothing bad I don’t think. I don’t really pay much attention to him if I’m being honest.”

“Huh. Okay. Well, I do. Other things I mean. And a lot of the time what I’m reading is for AP English Lit.”

“Like what?” He asked, sounding genuinely interested. He even sat up more and leaned closer to me. Wow. He actually seems to want to know.

“I like to cook. I like photography and designing photo albums. I’ve also been thinking of taking up knitting.”

“Busy girl then. Knitting? Think I could get a scarf sometime?”

“In California?”

“Maybe I’ll go somewhere it gets cold someday, who knows?”

“What about you? I mean, I know you’re an athlete. But what about when you’re not on the field or practicing? What do you like to do, just for fun?”

“I guess that is my hobby. Being an athlete is kind of what I do.”

“Oh come on. You have to have a hobby. Everyone has a hobby.”

“Would you judge me if I said video games?”

“Monty. I’m friends with Alex Standall. Video games are like… almost exclusively how he spends his time when he’s not with Jess or Hannah.”

“That’s fair. No judgement then?”

“Not from me.” I smiled. We chatted about mindless things for a while, like favourites and things we didn’t like. It was nice. We made our way through our drinks and our cake while we talked.

“Did you want another coffee?” I asked him.

“Sure.” He replied, reaching for his wallet.

“No, no. My turn. Snack?”

“If they have a lemon bar, that would be nice.” He replied, reluctantly putting his wallet away. Why do guy’s jeans get such big pockets? It really isn’t fair.

“I’ll be right back.” I said, grabbing my wallet. I ordered for us and got myself a cinnamon twist. I gave him a thumbs up when I caught his eye.

Once back at the table, I began picking apart my cinnamon twist.

“Is cinnamon a favourite then?”

“No, I would call it more of a like than a favourite.”

“Let me guess, vanilla?”

“No. Guess again?”

“Lemon?”

“Nope. Good, but no.”

“Some kind of berry?”

“Not even close. My favourite flavour is mint.”

“Cold and spicy. Would not have pinned you for cold and spicy.”

“More allspice?”

“Definitely what I would have guessed.”

“My turn?”

“Please.”

“Hmmm… black dark roast coffee, chocolate, lemon….” I thought out loud, “I would say vanilla, but you don’t seem like the type to do vanilla.” I left the connotation and innuendo without further comment. He didn’t comment on it either. I thought for a few minutes. He watched me think as we sipped our fresh coffees. “Cardamom.” I said finally. He blinked at me in surprise.

“That’s right. How did you guess?”

“It’s complex. It has layers.”

“And you think I have layers?”

“Yes. You’re complex. Interesting.” We didn’t tread further on the topic. Not first date discussion.

“What do you want to do?” He asked.

“Like, this afternoon? Or are you asking big picture?”

“Big picture but both is good.”

“This afternoon? Laundry and homework that I couldn’t do last night.”

“You want to do that?”

“It gets it done so I can enjoy Sunday doing nothing.”

“Alright, that makes sense. Big picture?”

I looked down into my latte, suddenly very shy. “You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“I highly doubt that Addy.” He replied, reaching across the table to take my hand. I felt a jolt in my arm but resisted the urge to look up.

“I want to be a writer.” I spoke quietly. I wasn’t sure if he heard me, too busy waiting for the laughter that was sure to come. When it didn’t, I looked up. “You’re not laughing.”

“Was I supposed to?”

“I don’t know.” I said, lamely.

“What kind of writer do you want to be?”

“I want to be an author. I want to write novels.”

“Why would I think that’s stupid?” he asked, confused.

“Because everyone else does?”

“I don’t.”

“That makes one, maybe two people who aren’t me who feel that way.”

“Two?”

“Justin. I think he only said it’s not because he is my best friend though.”

“What about your parents?”

I laughed. “My parents think I’m joking. ‘You can’t pay bills with books Addison.’”

“I think there are plenty of authors who make fairly decent livings actually.”

“I know. But my parents… my dad has an MBA from Stanford. My mom has a PhD in History from UCLA and is a tenured professor at Berkeley. Writing novels isn’t in the cards for me.”

He seemed to come to a realization then. “Your private notebook?”

“Never know when inspiration will hit.” I smiled.

“I thought it was a different kind of private.” He wiggled his brows.

“Only sometimes. Have to be in a certain headspace for it to be that kind of private.”

His eyes widened, “Addison Hawthorne!”

“What? It’s not like it’s wrong. It’s fun sometimes.”

“If you say so. But honestly. I don’t think it’s stupid.”

“What about you?” I asked, taking a bite of my cinnamon twist. Not going to dip it in my coffee on a first date. Weird food things are a fourth date thing.

“I mean, the dream is pro sports. I haven’t really thought about a fallback yet. I will have one of course. I’ll go to school for something, I just haven’t decided yet.”

“Would you choose football or baseball?”

“Probably football. I like it more. I mean, I love baseball too. It’s just not something I see myself doing for the entirety of my professional career.”

“That makes sense. I think if I had to choose another career, I would probably choose something to do with public policy. Ole Miss has an amazing public policy leadership degree and it’s interdisciplinary so my parents would only be able to complain about the school.”

“Your parents would complain if you got in to Ole Miss?”

“Yes. Not as much as they would complain about NYU though. Dad might actually keel over if I went there.” Monty tried really hard not to laugh but couldn’t help it. “I know. They just want me to go where they think I should go. If dad had his way, I would be shipped off to England for business at Oxford or something.”

“Oh, I can see you loving that.”

“Yes, it would be fantastic.” I said, sarcastically. I didn’t know whether to ask about his parents and their thoughts on his future. I also hadn’t expected him to have anything figured out past high school, we are only sophomores after all. I was slowly growing uncomfortable with the line of questioning. Thankfully, he changed the subject to something more manageable.

“Are you really as picky about pens as Justin bitches about in the locker room?”

“He talks about me?”

“Yeah. Usually only good things, I can assure you. Pens though. That he complains about. I think it’s all in good fun, but pens and some of your other quirks can get him going.”

“Huh. Interesting. He talks about you too by the way. Less nice though.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. But about these pens?”

“I guess you could say I’m picky. I like gel pens and they have to be medium point. If I use a liquid ink pen, then it has to be a fine point.”

“He said something about colours.”

“Yes, I use coloured pens for notes. Each class is a different colour.” He looked at me funny, “it’s a girl thing.” I explained.

“I see. He said you only like black bic pens?”

“That’s right. I didn’t realize you listened to him that much.”

“I don’t usually….”

“Usually?”

“When he’s talking about the girl I like, then yeah. I listen a little more.”

I blushed again, while I sipped my coffee, watching him over the rim of my glass. He admitted he likes you. “Does Justin really talk about me?”

“Yeah, mostly to bitch about you being an asshole. He does acknowledge that you aren’t bad at sports.”

“Not bad?”

“That’s as big of a compliment as you’ll get from Justin.”

“Not surprised. You listen to him talk about me?”

“Well. Uh. Yes?”

“Often?”

“It’s not like he can complain to Bryce about you.” I redirected.

“Right. Because he can’t complain to Bryce. That the only reason Addison?”

“I don’t know Montgomery. I guess you’ll just have to figure that out on our next date.” I was taken aback by my own forwardness. Where did that come from? Monty’s brow raised. Oh no. There isn’t going to be another date. He probably just did this to have something to joke about with the guys later. I just made a complete idiot of myself.

“I thought it was my turn to ask you on a date.”

“Oh.” I said. “Okay. I take it back then?”

“Nah, it’s okay. Next time I’ll ask you.”

“O-okay.” I stuttered, my blush returning once again. “Did you want to go get ice cream or something next week?”

“Wednesday? 4:30?”

“That works for me.” I told him, smiling.

“It’s a date.” We stood and before parting ways, he leaned down and kissed me softly. I smiled at him as we left the café, careful to not leave together. I replayed the kiss in my mind the whole way home.

#can't go back #montgomery de la cruz #monty x oc #monty de la Cruz fanfic #monty imagine #monty x reader #montgomery de la cruz imagine #montgomery de la cruz x oc #montgomery de la cruz x reader #Justin Foley #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfic writing

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rockmiyabideusexmachina · 5 years

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2020 Megaman Valentine’s Day Contest - Cat. 1 (Talent) Results!

Thank you to everyone again for your patience! This is getting posted way later than I wanted to. As much as I try to keep it short and sweet, I never do, so bear with my walls of text.

For the talent category this year, the theme was about killing Mega Man with kindness. More specifically, entrants had to create their own original love/Valentine’s-themed Robot Master or equivalent boss character that was created to defeat Mega Man with the power of love! Even though the theme title and concept alluded more to the classic Robot Master character contests, designs for any series were acceptable. But other than one Navi and one Reploid entry, everyone stuck to a Classic-series themed creation. So you were all pretty consistent!

There were a total of 16 entries for this category this year. Thank you all for your participation! It was extremely hard to choose winners for this category, because you all had really clever and creative concepts based off of this theme. So thank you for thinking up such clever and cool characters!!

Also thanks to Reploid 21XX for the coloring book prizes and for some additional insight.

Again, raffle prize winners will be contained in both posts, so keep an eye out between your name and your art. Not all raffle prize winners are contained in this post. I’ll be contacting all winners soon enough, so sit tight! Might be late after work tonight, so don’t panic if you don’t hear from me right after this is posted.

Your category winners and full gallery of entries are right here, after the break:

Category 1 (Talent) - Dr. Wily’s Greatest Creation: Killing Mega Man With Kindness

[Full Talent Gallery]

1.) @mo-sketchbook:

*For coming in 1st, mo-sketchbook has won $100 via Paypal, or a prize of their choice up to that value AND a Rockman 7 Coloring Book.*

First and foremost, I appreciate all the effort you put into covering so many aspects of your creation, from the various design viewpoints, weapon get form for Mega Man, and showing the weapon in action. I really loved all the things you integrated into the design to give off the feeling that it is a love-based character. The “love bug” form, cherub-like Heat/Plug-type facial features, and how you utilized hearts in different ways for his design and powers.

I’m no Keiji Inafune, but I feel like this is a concept he would greenlight, in terms of it following his Robot Master design formula. It doesn’t need to be super detailed or flashy, but still fits the mold very well! The thought of the hearts missing their target and love energy then getting weaker is actually pretty clever, too. Cute, and I wuv it.

2.) @peachycircuits:

*For coming in 2nd, peachy has won $50 via Paypal, or a prize of their choice up to that value AND a Rockman 7 Coloring Book*

As usual, on the technical side of things, your art is one of the more polished and clean entries of the bunch. Combining a couple different aspects - swans as a creature known as a symbol of love, bonded for life like in marriage, and turning that into an inseparable pair of Robot Masters, was a clever way to think about your design, in terms of the theme of this category.

And then echoing that with the iconic Swan Lake, making them ballet dancers, is like taking Tundra Man and Gemini Man’s concept up another notch. Plus, not gonna lie, amused seeing Mega Man getting equipped with a tutu. LOL So even if it’s not as heart-themed as most of the other entries, I totally liked how you thought outside the box a little bit for this.

3.) Komito Amae:

*For coming in 3rd, Komito has won $25 via Paypal, or a prize of their choice up to that value*

I figured a cupid-styled arrow theme would pop up in a bunch of entries, but your Reploid, Beta, here caught my eye. Both in terms of the hearts, arrows and wings incorporated into her armor, and the pretty sweet looking buster that she and X both have equipped.

While I’m not sure how it would play out in the game, I think it would be interesting to suddenly take control of random enemies in a stage, and be able to change perspective as them for a short time, after you have shot them. Whether it would be to take out an enemy horde, or perform a task X can’t that the enemy could, it would be different! Can’t see it quite having the same powerful effect on a Maverick boss, but it’s certainly neat to think about how that could work!

And the rest of the wonderful entries, in alphabetical order by alias:

@autobot-bumblebee:

*Raffle Prize Winner* Dreamwave Comics: Issue 4 Page 15

I’m sorry you didn’t win a cash prize this time! Please don’t take me hostage! I totally loved the creative vintage chocolate factory mascot backstory, along with making your entry like an Ariga-styled character sheet page. Certainly get that retro feel with her clothing design. Her rose blade kinda reminds me of other hand-turned-blade-like-weapon characters, such as Alan Gabriel in the Big O or Ed transmuting one in FMA. Which is always a snazzy transformation for a robot!

@drewblossom:

In all honesty, if I hadn’t placed you in the humor category, I think this would have very likely been somewhere in the top 3 for this category. A cuddly teddy bear with a massive Ariga-Quick Man-sized heart for a chest, extending flailing tube arms, who just wants to hug Mega Man to death is so amusing and awesome of a design. Hugs for everyone!

FluffyFrostyFury:

Your take of heat-seeking arrows and the added high jump powers were certainly a different take compared to the other cupid-styled creations. Definitely would be nice gameplay bonuses when equipped. I like how Mega Man also has the wings sprout out of his head, to mimic Cherub Woman’s pigtails, rather than the usual spot you would assume, on his back.

HealerCharm:

Hahaha, I love how your creation has caused Mega Man to wave the white flag after falling in love...wait, it isn’t White Day, and he should be giving her a gift if it was! XD Her hair tied up into a heart was a creative touch, much like how her dress flows into all those heart shapes. Adorable!

@inanehipsterslang:

Um, can...can I count on you to vote for Bernie this election year?

Remember kids, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, looks don’t matter. Everyone deserves love, even those you consider ‘vermin.’ This was certainly an unexpected take on the theme, and gave me a good laugh, too. ‘Boiling-hot water...with a hint of citrus!’ It burns, but it smells so lemony-fresh!! XD But the two different moves fit together well, to protect and attack.

I like how you still incorporated a heart shape into Rodent Woman’s design with, both in her chest shape and the “nostril” area which is echoed in the Rodent Rover. And also props for giving her the non-armor form, unique compared to other entries.

Mattasaurs:

On the one hand, your design feels so different for a Robot Master, and maybe more Navi-like. But then I get the Astro/Galaxy-type eye vibe, and sort of a Plant Man~ish body with Devil hands feel, and see how it’d fit into Classic. It’s a unique look, and I liked it the more I inspected it. I really do love the idea of the heart bubble entrapping more and more enemies, and the big ol’ group hug ending up bursting their love bubble. It’s a different concept that stood out!

Minnie:

Our Navi of the bunch combined the love bug and cupid design, but your concept changed up the attack to suck out the energy of it’s target. Which almost made me think she should have an arrow-like mosquito nose, to feast on her target that way. XD I liked your wing shield concept and RiCO-styled skirt of hearts. Rock gets some cool shades in his Love Soul/Cross form, and I get the ProtoSoul vibe, with the shield transferring to his arm as well.

@pstart:

Another Heat/Plug-type design Share Man looks cute and sleepy, but is also “clumsy and weak.” His ability is to share body parts, so “the danger is in him sharing his less than ideal parts with his opponents.” It’s a totally neat concept, to see Mega Man lose his buster almost by accident, and now be powerless to stop Share Man. His split color scheme drives home the concept that his parts might not all be his own, and sort of a Frankenstein bot at times. Props to that idea!

While his weapon gives Mega Man the power to make enemies docile and sleepy, I really almost want to see Mega Man get dumb parts of enemies, too! Helmet switched to a Met helmet, Batton wings, a big Suzy eye! It’s now I’ve got your power...but...but what am I supposed to do with it? XD

RetroNinjin:

Unlike most others, your entry pushed the heart theme heavily in her armor design around the entire head and shoulder parts, so I definitely felt the love vibe. The color scheme fits well. Just would have liked to have had seen a little more information about her attack and concept.

RoninApprentice:

Mega Man having a “Wing Man” to set him up is a hilarious and clever idea! I give you kudos for thinking outside the box a bit on your concept and theme here. The shipping chart certainly drives the idea home, too. You still give him a classy/formal look, and keep the wing man aviation origin apparent in his attack style. Certainly a different idea having the heart bowtie transfer to Rock’s helmet in the form change, but it really doesn’t look that bad there, opposed to around his neck like it would be normally.

@star-crossed-swords:

Different from the other cupid concepts, Eros Woman utilizes a Search-Man like targeting system to hit her targets. I like the heart scope addition over her and Rock’s eye when they go into firing mode. You took a different approach to the wing concept compared to others, echoing Cinnamon’s hairstyle in many respects. But it certainly fits with the rest of her design nicely, and looks good for Mega Man’s equipped form.

@star-shaped-soul:

Love that you were able to both include a drawing and your own sprite, to mix in with the weapon equip ones. That is one powerful crush Mega Man has on his enemies now! I feel bad for Crush Man with how big and heavy those snare trap hands of his are. This seems like a Robot Master too cute for Wily to design; more like he stole him and added horrible, cruel hands onto him! This is taking a crush on someone to a whole different level! XD

Yuri Kadry:

When equipped with Cupid Man’s power, I like the visor Mega Man gets. I think this is also a clever use of the weapon, having enemies shot attracted to one another, causing them to collide into each other. Well thought out! Love the original sprite art, and he stands out nicely against the pinks and purples in the background.

#Rockman #Megaman #Mega Man #Rock Miyabi's 2020 Megaman Valentine's Day Contest

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homesteadchronicles · 5 years

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10 Questions Tag

Thank you so much for tagging me, @songsofaleria! You had such interesting answers, and I wanted to ensure that I could give the same enthusiasm with my responses. Buckle up, y’all! You might learn a thing or two about moi.

1. What are you characters favorite foods/snacks?

What’s sad is that I have a hard time answering this solely because I am not a snack person. Blasphemy, I know - I just prefer whole meals! If we’re talking modern-day snacks? Oeden’s chowing down on salt and vinegar chips, Royan would be a Twinkies guy (no jokes, please, spare my boy), Medea’s a cinnamon girl - the kind that scarfs down Hot Tamales like they’re nothing, Carmila would snack on individual pretzel sticks while she works (and is the kind to suck the salt clean off of them because she keeps getting lost in thought while they’re in her mouth), Farukh would be a jerky guy, and Kasumi’s the kind to carry around little veggie packets and dip.

If we’re talking in-universe snacks? Come on. Fantasy worlds don’t have fun snacks! Although I did write one excerpt with Oeden and his mom, Nadielle, chowing down on spiced pufferfish spines which I’m relatively sure are not a real thing...and likely should not be.

2. What playlists do you listen to when writing?

I made a playlist of worship songs for my friends who are newer to my church and I’ve been jamming to that while I write because it’s the only lyric-inclusive music I can listen to that won’t interfere with my writing. Plus, because writing can drain my body and darken my thoughts, I need something positive and godly to revitalize me and keep me centered.

3. Which OC is/was your favorite to create?

There’s one character I’ve talked about in passing, but I haven’t dedicated an entire section to him yet. I don’t know if he’s my favorite, but he has a special place in my heart: Algon. He pays homage to one of my personal heroes and mentors, so there’s always a giddy little part of my heart when I get to write him. Plus, the development he goes through is...well, heartbreaking, but also beautiful over time.

4. What is the first book you read that made you cry?

Oh gosh, I can’t remember! I was a big crybaby when I was little, so I probably wept at the slightest thing gone wrong. Aslan dying in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe always got me.

5. Do you hide any secrets in your books as a way of foreshadowing?

If you read something in my stories, assume it will eventually foreshadow something. I treat my books as a game of I-Spy, wondering when readers will find the most hidden clues I snuck in there.

6. What is the most difficult part of your writing process?

This might sound strange, but knowing when it’s “right”. I’m a perfectionist, an INFJ, and a Type One Enneagram - otherwise known as someone who is paralyzed by the thought of doing something wrong. I don’t just write for fun, I write to do what I believe I’m meant to do in my life. And if something I produced was lesser than what was meant? If I wasted my time or led someone down the wrong path because I did it wrong? Game over for me. I spend SO much time deciding whether I’ve had this character do the right thing, built the world correctly, etc. that it’s...crippling, to be honest.

7. Which of your characters would you liked like to meet/get to know irl?

You know, I had a lot of different answers to this...but I’m gonna go with Kasumi. I have a habit of befriending people who need my guidance or leadership and/or people who make me laugh and are fun but aren’t deep enough to hang with me intimately. Kasumi, while deeply flawed, is someone who would want to help me as much as I help her. She’d listen, she’d advise, she’d protect, she’d spend time making art with me, we could go adventuring when necessary and stay inside when we’re down. I feel like we could be besties in a heartbeat!

8. Was there a situation in your writing that you took from your own life?

There are snippets and themes that I use, as everyone does, as inspiration. But generally, I try to limit that because I don’t want it seeming self-insert-y. However, there are a few specific instances and issues I feel personally convicted to write upon based on my experiences with and overcoming of them. But none of the situations in my stories are one-on-one parallels.

9. Do your characters have reoccurring symbolism in their dreams?

HOO BOY! You opened a whole can of worms for one character in particular: Oeden. I’ve changed what his dreams entail eighteen thousand times, but he always envisions a vault (which is a main theme in my story, and certainly no secret) long before he ever finds it. Lots of other things, too: torn wedding veils, man made into gods, blood poured on white moons, angels in plain sight, and an unknown voice calling out to him. You know, totally normal dream stuff!

10. Which Hogwarts houses would you sort your characters into?

I’ve def done this before, but I don’t remember everyone’s. I think it was: Royan is Gryffinpuff, Oeden is Slytherclaw, Medea is Slytherin, Farukh is Slytherdor, Briggid is Ravenclaw, Kasumi is Hufflepuff, Carmila is...crap, I can’t remember!

Questions for Those Tagged to Answer: 1. When you find a book at the store, what about it makes you decide to buy it or put it back on the shelf? 2. What would your book’s ideal cover look like, should you have access to any artist you’d want and any resources you would need to make it a reality? 3. If you could rewrite one story - be it a book, game, movie, show, etc. - which would it be and why? 4. Have you ever given a story a second chance and liked it better the next time through? What caused your opinion to change? 5. What do you believe endears an audience to a character? 6. What kind of romances do you prefer to read about and/or watch unfold? (Soft and shy, hot and sexy, slow burn, enemies to lovers, etc.) 7. What type of AU’s are your guilty pleasures, be they for your stories or for others? (Modern, High School/University, Coffee Shop, Vampires, etc.) 8. If only one age demographic would ever read your books, which would you choose and why? 9. If you could pay homage to one person in your life through your stories and/or characters, who would it be and why? 10. If every reader walked away from your story having been changed in one significant way, what would you want it to be and why?

Tagging: @rhavencroft, @incandescent-creativity, @fair-folk-nonsense, @stardustspiral, @ardawyn, @lady-redshield-writes, @feathered-quill, @hannahs-creations, @cogesque, @merigreenleaf

#tag #tagged #tag game #writeblr #writeblr community #writing community #write #writer #writing #10 questions tag game

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cockroachmotherfucker10 · 5 years

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May I ask advice on something? Around 8 months ago I lost my period from my ED, and gained it back(and most weight I lost) from 5 months of binge eating. I'd like to lose weight again in a more healthy way(though its really hard, I'm trying to eat 400-500 cal a day ATLEAST rn, hope to increase in future). The issue is that my period is super triggering for me, and makes me want to eat less so I can lose it again. Do you have any tips for ways to deal with this?

I'm going to be 100% honest with you, Anon. I do not think you are in a place where you are psychologically able to lose weight healthily, and it's very likely that you may never be able to actively pursue weight loss without triggering your eating disorder. Eating 500 calories a day is better than nothing, but it's still starvation. It is not sustainable, and if continued, it will eventually kill you. It is nowhere near the realm of healthy weight loss.

The truth is, even if you happen to be considered "overweight" according to an arbitrarily defined scale based on a formula created by a Belgian astronomer almost two centuries ago...even if that's the case, your restrictive eating disorder is going to destroy your health much more quickly and much more severely than carrying a bit of chub ever would (because it's just as possible to be "overweight" and still healthy as it is to be a healthy weight and unhealthy). And if you're a healthy weight, there's absolutely no reason to lose weight aside from the reasons that bitch Ana/Mia is pulling out of her ass.

Honestly, unless your weight is an immediate clinical risk as determined by a medical professional, I don't think anyone's primary goal should be weight loss.

Rather, the goal should be moderate exercise, plus intuitive eating (i.e. eating based on your body's cues), plus a healthy balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, each part of the food pyramid, each type of macronutrient, and some treats for happiness purposes! The goal should be health--not trying to control your body, which already has a set-point weight it wants to stay at.

Furthermore, I guarantee that restricting your diet will worsen your binge-eating. You can successfully restrict for days, weeks, months at a time, but eventually it leads to a psychological phenomenon called restraint release, which causes disinhibition while eating--i.e. binge-eating. That's why bingeing is actually a symptom of restrictive eating disorders. Also, if you fall below your weight set point, your body will rebel by increasing production of ghrelin, the hunger hormone. This makes you feel really hungry all the time, which can also cause bingeing. The only way to fully solve binge-eating is to heal your body image and stop depriving yourself.

As for your period being triggering, I know it sucks, and I'm so sorry. Remember that your ED wants you to consider your period a sign of failure, but it's the opposite. It's a sign of health, and health is strength. Your period symbolizes how strong and courageous and tenacious you are. I mean, c'mon, you survive pain and bleeding for about a week out of every month--how metal is that?!

It might help to try and think about your period in a different context. For example:

If you identify as female: it's a sign of feminine strength in the face of the patriarchy. Sexist beauty standards want you to starve and shrink, but you are not afraid to eat and be healthy and take up the space you deserve. You are defeating sexism one period at a time.

If you're trans or genderqueer: you are spiting society's ideals of gender. Every time you get your period, you are living proof that not everyone with a period is a woman. Take that, gender binary!

The average menstrual cycle is almost the same length as the lunar cycle; the moon and her beauty is reflected in your own body. When you get your period, remember that you are connected to the wonders of our beautiful, mysterious universe.

Use humour to cope! Sometimes I turn my period into a comedy bit in my head: "It looks like World War III just happened in my pants. What kind of magic Kotex do those girls in period commercials have? If I wore white shorts on my period, I'd be repping Japan on my crotch."

Stuff like that. Also make sure that you are extra-vigilant about self-care around the time of your period: get 8 hours of sleep a night, drink plenty of water, eat foods you like and feel safe with, take nice warm showers, use pain meds (responsibly) if you need to, don't be afraid to take a sick day, treat yourself to a spa/movie night, etc.

But of course, the best advice will always come from mental health professionals trained in dealing with eating disorders. If you are not working with a doctor and therapist right now, I strongly encourage you to start. Seeking professional help is the best course of action for ED recovery, but at the very least, make sure you have a strong support system in the people around you.

You can do this, Anon!! You're strong and beautiful and I believe in you. Good luck! I love you! 💕

-Mod Lia

#calories #calorie tw #calorie mention #ed recovery #recovery #body positivity #eating disorder recovery #intuitive eating #anorexia #bulimia #anamia #eating disorder #anti pro ana #edrecovery #ask #mod lia #og post #og post cmf

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #253

hope everyone is staying safe through this quarantine. wash your hands.

Which band do you have more music of than anyone else on your computer? Ozzy. Who’s your favorite philosopher? *shrugs* I don't know any's ideals well. How old were you when you learned how to read? I'm not sure, but I know I was exceptionally young. What’s the coolest Halloween costume you’ve ever worn? I don't think I've ever worn something rather cool. Who’s your favorite painter/artist? If we're talking about well-known, "popular" artists, I'm not sure. Maybe DaVinci. What’s your favorite song lyric- ever? ARE YOU??????????? FOR REAL?????????? Holy FUCK I get goosebumps from lyrics SO easily, this is like impossible. Probably an Otep lyric, though. I really don't like her personally, but goddamn can she write. What’s your dream tattoo if you don’t have it already? I've linked it before, so I'll just remind it's "Denialism" by deviantART's NukeRooster on my entire, upper left arm. I've already gotten her permission (I don't like just... stealing artwork to put on my body), now just comes the day I can pay for it by a top-tier pro. What’s the coolest screen name you’ve ever had? I don't think any have been necessarily "cool." Who do you think was the most badass serial killer? (Real life.) I'm not well-versed in serial killers honestly, but I can say Charles Manson was a C A S E. I think we can all admit he was... interesting. Just the epitome of weird. Most badass fictional serial killer? ig Jason; again, I don't know a lot off the top of my head, but I like him. How many bank accounts do you have? I don't have one. Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yep. Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? Parts of it, sure. What kind of car do you drive? I don't drive a car, but Mom's is a... Honda? Kia? Idk. I'm bad with car brands. What kind of car would you like to have? Average size, pretty simple. Burnt orange or red. I know I want one of those screens you look into to see what's behind you when backing up. Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? mmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. So unhealthy, but I will destroy and Oreo Cupfection. Try. That. Stuff. Their milkshakes are also great. Which website do you email from? Outlook. Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Sure, it's nice. Have you ever had the flu? No. What about strep throat? Maybe once? Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you’re still in school? Kinda, yeah. Did you ever enjoy gym class? Fuck no. Even when I was healthy. What is your biggest insecurity? My body. Have you ever painted a room alone? No. How many huge secrets do you have? Huge? Uhhh, none, I think. Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? Yes. Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? I prefer eating out because yummy food, but considering I'm working on losing weight, I avoid it. Do you have any younger siblings? One. Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? To the point of being snow white. Considering my hair is super healthy and bleaching so heavily would destroy it, I'll be avoiding that. I DO want to bleach my hair to do other colors, though. Brown hair sucks. Do you drink vitamin water? No. Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Oh sure, a good handful. The Outsiders probably tops it. Have you ever had a Big Mac before? No, doesn't appeal to me. I don't like veggies on my burgers... despite eating veggie burgers when I was vegetarian lmao. Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? I doubt that. Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No. Do you enjoy reading often? I'm finally back into it!! Lately all I've been wanting to do is READ READ READ. Have you ever had a deadly illness? Well, I consider depression (among other mental illnesses) to be very deadly, but on a literal level, no. I mean I have dormant MRSA, which can kill if active, but it never has been. Most people carry that dormantly anyway, if I remember correctly. Ever had food-poisoning before? No, thankfully. Where did you last eat dinner at? Mom bought Nicole and me Sonic. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground & carried you? When I fainted, yes. Are you a flirty person? Not really. A name you hate with a passion? Edward, to name one. Erwin. A lot of old names. What is your favorite type of water (ex. arrowhead)? Essentia mmmmmmmmmmmmm,, Have you ever been to Warped Tour? I WISH. :( Do you know anyone who wears fur? I fucking hope not, because I wouldn't associate with them anymore. When was the last time you were on myspace.com? Damn yo, millennia ago. How often do you cuss? Too much. I mean, I don't even believe "profanity" is a thing by our definition of "that word is magically bad," but still, it's like when people say "like" too much. Have you ever cussed out a teacher? No. What did you think of the movie Juno? I never watched it. How often do you eat meat? Sigh, more than I wish. What grade did you meet your best friend in? We didn't meet in school. Last time you cleaned your room? Couple days back. I'm honestly bad at dusting regularly in here, but that's gotta change with Mom having chemo now. Her immune system will be compromised so this house needs to be as pristine as it can. When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel? Disney Channel. We weren't really Cartoon Network kids, actually. It was Disney or Nickelodeon. Do you shave your arms? No. Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series? Never read a book, never watched any movies; the first one was playing in my presence once, but I paid no attention. How often would say you pulled all-nighters, if you ever do? Shit man, never, nowadays. I don't think I've had one for two years now. My youth is escaping. Has a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend ever had a problem with you for any reason? I don't think so. How many times a day do you find yourself cracking your joints, if at all? Maybe not even once a day. Only my big toes and upper back can pop. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? No. Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side? On the side. Who was the last person you talked to in person? Mom. Do you have a dog? Not anymore, thank fuck. Do you like orange juice? Yes. Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister? I never liked it. They're not inclusive at all towards fucking NORMAL bodies, nevermind plus size. Apparently even their rules on looks for workers are absolutely horrible. Ashley liked them though, so sometimes I just had to go in with her. If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? My goth could finally E S C A P E. How do you/did you get to school? My mom drives me. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Four times that I remember off the top of my head. What candy cane flavor is your favorite? MMMMMMMMMM get the pink Starburst kind. Do you get angry when fast food restaurants mess up your order? It's annoying, yes. Angering when you've already driven away, especially when you really wanted something. What was your favorite elective class in high school? Art. Did you ever wish you could be homeschooled? Yes. I was homebound for a little while. Have you ever had a dream so realistic you could’ve sworn it happened? Yes. Do you have any mental disorders? I'm a walking mental disorder, lmao. Y'all know the biggies, and now ADD and especially DPD (dependent personality disorder) are being considered. Do you feel comfortable talking about these disorders, if you have them? Yeah, I really don't care. Where did you go on your last field trip? I want to say to a band competition in high school. Are you able to agree to disagree? Or do you have to have the last word? Yeah, pretty easily. Is there a cover song you like better than the original version? A whole lot, actually. Do you have a hard time talking about sex with the opposite gender? I have a hard time with anyone. Have you ever had major surgery? Major, no. Is there any food you don’t like that a lot of others do? Here in the South, everyone is most surprised when they hear I hate fried chicken. What was the last thing you bragged about? Hm. I'm not sure, actually. I don't make a habit out of doing that. Can you do a backflip? Hell no. Are you listening to anything right now? I have a video up of relaxing tracks from Silent Hill 2 + 3. Great shit. Has anyone ever tried to tell you you were adopted? No. How many doors are in the room you’re in? Two, but one's just the closet door. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? No. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Yes. Do any of your friends have children? Yep. Is there anything you’re craving right now? Not really. Who got married at the last wedding you attended? A family friend. It was the second wedding I shot. Is happiness something to be achieved and sought after or is it something to be retained and held onto always, no matter what happens? The former. You can't just stay happy when, like, your grandma dies. What gives you a peaceful feeling? Nature. Hearing water and birdsong, specifically. Are you a Toys-R-Us kid? Hell yeah I was. My sisters and I would go crazy if we had the chance to go there. We were SOOOO upset when it closed down. If you believe in Heaven, are there separate heavens for different animals (kittie heaven. dog heaven, bird heaven, etc)? I don't know if I believe in a "heaven," but some sort of peace after death, yes. I believe it's one, unified "heaven." When you sleep next to someone do they fall asleep first usually or do you? They always do considering it takes me ten years to fall asleep. If they do, do you watch them sleep? I have. Not in a creepy way, but rather a "wow I love this person" sorta way. What is your usual breakfast? Usually apple and cinnamon oatmeal What do your salt and pepper shakers look like? They're nothing special. The salt is a blue ceramic, and the pepper one is just what you get from the store. Have you ever had your car towed? I've never had my own car. What band or singer do you believe started rock and roll? I'm pretty sure Elvis is given that credit. Whose voice irritates you like fingernails on a blackboard? The female singer of Mother Mother's voice. Mom and I can't stand her singing. All I songs we enjoy feature almost solely the main singer. I can *tolerate* it in some songs, but. What do you contribute to society? Ha. Do you take naps? Almost daily. Do you have any cavities? Not to my knowledge. Do you believe that there has been a man on the moon? Yes, though I do believe the "first" landing was faked in competition with Russia. It sounds ridiculous, but I'm so serious, look into the theory - there's incredible evidence. Would you ever go into a sex shop? I'd be too self-conscious to. I'd just order online. Let’s just say your school team is on a winning streak. One of the cheerleaders cheers both for your team and the other team during games. Does it make you angry? I don't care enough about sports to even consider how I'd feel. Do you prefer carnivals, festivals, circuses, parades or faires? To be real, I only know the difference between parades and circuses. What even distinguishes the other three from each other. Do you believe in psychic ability or is it a sham? I lean towards no. What is your favorite classic rock song? You CANNOT ask me this question. Classic rock is some of the best music there is.

#survey #quiz #questions

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suit-lady · 6 years

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A Stupid Dare.

A/N: *slides in a week late with Starbucks and crippling depression* Hey guys, what’s up? So, I’ve been working on a little fic to go along with this post on and off for the last week, and it’s finally done! As a side note, Infinity War can suck my ass and instead, Tony and Steve and the whole gang had a lovely lil reunion and everyone (sans Peter) is living upstate like it should be thanks.

Alternatively, Ned gives Peter a stupid idea that Peter goes along with, even though Ned is honestly afraid that Peter might literally die. Warnings: Swearing throughout. It’s me. Word Count: 2120 Thanks for reading! :D

Friends always gave friends stupid ideas, right? But, like, they’re supposed to say that those ideas are, in fact, stupid and veto them, right?

Ned couldn’t stop fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt as he followed his best friend, the apparent idiot, Peter Parker, into their local Wal-Mart.

“Oh, fuck, Ned, we should’ve grabbed a cart,” Peter said with a chuckle. “I dunno if the two of us can carry nine of these out of here without dropping any. I might have superpowers, but my balance is still shit.”

Ned wasn’t really listening. He was honestly already feeling sick knowing what his close pal was about to do to his body. Absentmindedly, he stuck out his arms, waiting for Peter to stack four four-packs of Red Bull onto his forearms. Four times nine is thirty-six. Ned shook his head, shooing the thought away. Peter wouldn’t do this if he thought he couldn’t survive, right? Right?

It took two grocery bags to hold all the Red Bull, plus Peter carried a four-pack in his hand. After asking if Ned would carry both bags, Peter opened the four-pack he was holding and started drinking his first of thirty-six. Ned wanted to throw up all over the sidewalk. Seriously, who could drink even one of these caffeine nightmares, let alone one plus thirty-five more?

Peter was on his third can by the time they got back to the apartment. They bid hello to May before entering Peter’s room and closing the door. After all, Peter would never want his aunt to see him in the state he was about to be in. Ned sat at Peter’s desk (Guy in the chair, hell yeah.) and began googling the effects of caffeine so that they’d be ready for everything Peter was going to go through. As he clicked through articles, he tried to ignore the sound of the second cardboard container being ripped open.

“Okay, okay, so each 250 milliliter can has 80 milligrams of caffeine in it.” Peter hummed through the liquid to show he was listening. “The recommended amount of caffeine intake is 400 milligrams.” Another hum. “So that means you are going to be consuming… 7.2 times the recommended amount.”

“Damn,” Peter said after he swallowed. “That’s a lot, even for me.”

“Even for you?! Fuck, Peter, this is so dangerous.”

“What, you don’t think it’ll just make my spidey senses ridiculously tuned?” Pop, fizz.

“No, I think you could die.”

Another hum. Peter had started drinking his sixth fucking can of Red Bull. It had almost been fifteen minutes, meaning the caffeine was beginning to hit him. “It might heighten your senses at first… The caffeine buildup should start happening soon.” Peter nodded as he swallowed, and Ned decided to make a phone call.

“Happy Hogan, who is this?” Happy’s face appeared on the screen of Ned’s laptop.

“Hi Happy, I would have called Mr. Stark, but I don’t have his phone number,” Ned explained before jumping in.

“Okay, what’s up with the kid?”

“Is Peter in trouble?” Ned heard Tony ask from not-too-far-away. “We’re kind of busy here.” If Ned listened hard enough, he could hear Dum-E whirring, working on a project of Tony’s.

Ned coughed awkwardly before answering, “Do you think drinking 36 cans of Red Bull consecutively would make Peter’s spidey senses even more heightened or do you think he would die?”

“Oh my God,” Happy sighed at the same time Tony said, “Fuck. What number is he on?”

“Ten,” Ned replied after Peter flashed five fingers twice.

“I’ll be right there. Dum-E, save this for later…No, later. Happy, I need you to… Oh, fuck I dunno… Hey FRIDAY? Could you tell me what the best liver cleanse smoothies are?” A long pause. “Fuck, kid, why are you like this? FRIDAY, end call.”

Ned sat back, a little numb. Tony Stark was so worried about Peter that he was going to come to his apartment. Holy fuck, Ned thought to himself as he stared at the black laptop screen. My stupid idea might fucking kill Spider-Man.

Ned did his best to distract himself from watching Peter, but it was impossible. As he opened his fourth package, Peter asked, “Could you open them in advance so I can drink them faster? It’s slowing me down.” After Ned gave him a look, he defended himself, “Look, if I’m doing this, I’m doing it right.”

Ned started tearing through the cardboard of boxes five and six, thinking, The right way to do this is to not do it at all.

Peter was more than halfway through the Red Bull by the time Ned heard a sharp knock at the door. Just as Ned opened the door to Peter’s room, he saw May rushing to get the door. She was wearing an apron and her hair was a mess; she was doing her best to make dinner. Ned’s heart swelled for a moment before the panic set back in. May’s not supposed to know.

“Oh… Tony! What a surprise!” May’s less-than-enthusiastic voice called through the house. Ned couldn’t see the door, so he assumed that Tony had come alone. Jet boosters. Nice.

“Yeah, me and a few friends came by to…talk to Peter about…y’know, internship stuff.” Tony’s voice was awkward and faltered a little. He was trying not to let on to May that he was worried.

“Oh, sure! He’s just in his room with Ned…that’s his best friend.” Huh, it worked.

“Yes, we’ve met him.” Wait… We? Friends? Who?

“Oh, C-Captain America… I don’t believe we’ve met.” Ned could imagine May fixing her hair in a nervous-yet-flirtatious fashion. He stifled a laugh.

“Evening, ma’am. This is a lovely apartment you have.” Steve’s voice echoed down the hall without Steve even trying. Ned knew May was absolutely swooning.

“We probably won’t stay for dinner. Just saying ‘hi’ to the kid.”

As footsteps started coming closer, Ned heard May call after them, “You’re more than welcome!”

The moment they were in view, Ned apologized, “I was going to answer the door, but she beat me to it.”

Patting him on the shoulder, Tony replied, “No worries, guy in the chair.” Ned shot Peter a look. Peter shrugged. “So how many is that, Parker?”

With a grin as he opened a new can, he said, “This one makes number twenty-two.” His expression changed to a grimace. “My stomach hurts.” The smile returned. “But! I can hear everyone in the apartment down two floors. They have friends over.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m glad your experiment didn’t go haywire before Steve and I arrived.”

“Tony was running around the base, trying to find anything that would help cleanse your liver. It took a mountain of coaxing to get him to leave with just one smoothie.” Steve held up a water bottle filled with a pinkish-red mixture. “We would have been here earlier had his Dad Instincts not kicked in.”

“Look,” Tony defended himself with a pointed look at Steve. “I can be worried about my ssssssssuperhero protégé, alright?”

Steve rolled his eyes, hard. “Yeah, sure, but there’s no need to worry about Peter this much, Tony. He might just be a kid,” he paused to chuckle when Peter bristled. “But he’s surrounded by great people who take good care of him.”

Do we? Ned asked himself. If not for me, the literal fucking Avengers would not be in my best friend’s apartment right now.

“After all,” Steve continued with a shrug, “the boys in the army used to place bets on how many beers I could drink before I couldn’t walk straight anymore. My record was once after we’d been partying a lot recently—one of our buddies had gotten married two weekends beforehand—and my tolerance was even better than usual. I think I drank the pub nearly dry at like… seventy beers or something. All of our betting money went to the pub that night.”

Steve and Peter were laughing. Ned and Tony were not.

Soon after, Peter cracked the last Red Bull with a grin. “Five minutes from now I will be dialed to twelve.” His voice got deep and announcer-like. “This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.”

Steve and Tony exchanged confused glances, but Ned brushed it off with a wave of his hand while he laughed. “It’s a kid joke.”

“Okay,” Peter said definitively, throwing the last can in his trash bin. “I’m putting on the suit.”

“Don’t you think you should wait to see how the caffeine affects—” Tony stopped short as Peter flung himself out of the window. A moment passed. “Well, I guess I’ll call Karen.”

Tony plugged some sort of external hard drive into Ned’s laptop, which caused everything on the screen to change. From what fit on the screen, Ned could tell that it was designs and other crazy-amazing stuff that Tony carried around to work on while he was on the go. He did some typing, and a blank video screen came up. An oddly digital ringtone played.

“Hello, boss,” Karen’s voice suddenly sounded in the room. “Would you like to see Peter’s vitals?”

“That would be wonderful. Could you show us his Baby Monitor feed as well?”

“Of course.”

The screen showed the streets of Queens flying by at an incredible speed from uncomfortably high up. If the screen weren’t so small, Ned was sure he would have felt very sick at the sight. Peter could be heard quietly squealing in glee about how well he could feel the wind on his arms and face. In the corner of the screen, his body temperature, heart rate, and similar functions were shown.

“Peter’s heart rate is much faster than usual, as expected,” Tony observed. “His body is working at a much higher level, so he’s processing information faster than he usually would. Since he’s already to attuned to feeling the smallest changes in the environment, this is probably nostalgic to swinging around Queens for the first time. He’s probably got half an hour before he crashes and comes back to sleep for a day and a half.”

Ned nodded, absorbing the information. “So he’s gonna be alright?”

Steve chuckled before Tony could answer. “This was a dare, wasn’t it?”

Ned went white, and Tony said, “Yeah, the kid will be fine. But… really, Ned?”

“I thought he would say no!” This time, Steve and Tony both laughed.

“Hey kid! How’s it going?” Tony asked after turning on Ned’s mic.

“This is amazing!” Peter shouted, his ecstatic mood obvious. “Everything is even more clear than usual! I bet I’d be able to see perfectly in my old suit!”

Tony rolled his eyes. “You are never putting those bard-esque sweatpants on ever again, Peter Parker.”

“They’re stylish!” Peter defended himself.

“No they aren’t,” Ned, Steve, and Tony responded in unison.

“Oh.”

Tony was right. After a little over thirty minutes, Peter returned to the apartment, stumbling and wheezing. He’d barely gotten the suit off before he collapsed into bed, groaning about how awful he felt. Even though Steve kept giving him disapproving looks, Tony encouraged Peter to drink the protein smoothie they had brought with them.

“Okay, Iron Man,” Steve said, pulling Tony away from Peter. “The kid needs rest, and we have adult stuff to do at the facility.”

Ned sat Peter up and pulled a big tee shirt over his arms—decency, y’know—while he listened to Steve awkwardly usher Tony out of the house. As predicted, May was very adamant about the two handsome men staying over for dinner, but Steve was very firm, refusing to let Tony stay in the house another minute. May came by to check on Peter, who was nearly passed out in bed. Ned panicked; he had no cover-up story; he couldn’t just tell May that he’d convinced her nephew to chug thirty-fucking-six Red Bulls.

“Steve told me that Peter went…out,” May said, her eyes flicking to the suit. “And that he’s had a long afternoon.”

“Yeah… bit of a workout,” Ned agreed, laughing awkwardly.

“I had plans for dinner, but I’m gonna make something that’s bread and veggie heavy. Hopefully that’ll make him feel a little better?”

“That sounds good. And lots of water.”

Peter agreed with a thumbs-up, and May skittered off. After making sure Peter was all right to be left alone, Ned left his room to help May cook. Ned helped his mother sometimes; maybe the meal wouldn’t be a disaster if Ned was there to supervise. After all, it was the least he could do after nearly killing May’s nephew, whether she knew the whole story or not.

Tagging @sortinghatsara because she dealt with my bee ess the entire time I wrote this gd fic.

#peter parker #ned leeds #tony stark #steve rogers #may parker #spider-man lesbian #spider-man: homecoming #headcanon #my shit

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badvogues · 7 years

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some self-care/mental health tips for the upcoming school year

with school coming soon or already starting for some people i figured i’d share some of my tips for a healthier lifestyle. i know in the past i’ve struggled so much with being good to myself once school starts, both mentally, emotionally, and physically!

keep a clean room

i know how hard this is. i’m absolutely awful at it, even in the summer but it really makes the biggest difference. coming home to a mess when your life is already stressful and messy enough just makes things worse. i know when i have a clean space i’m way more productive and at peace with my situation.

take a break from social media

just doing this every once in awhile makes the hugest difference. social media is a wonderful world but it’s easy to get caught up in how everyone is doing things without you or having more fun or how someone’s prettier or whatever. it’s not worth it. i’ve learned that just deleting the apps for even a few hours can make my mental state 10x better. it’s important to realize that while people are out doing things all the time, you can never be as fun as all the 162 people you follow combined.

don’t be afraid to invite people out

one of the biggest things i struggle with is being social, simply because i overthink inviting people to do things with me too much and just wait to be invited by someone else instead. remember that even if someone says they can’t do something, it’s not the end of the world. at least you opened up a possibility!!! by being someone who invites others to do things, people will feel more appreciated and like you actually want to hang out with them! but also always save time for yourself as well!

create a self-care routine with motivation

by giving yourself some type of reward to wash your face, brush your teeth and shower, such as only watching your favorite tv show afterwards, it will feel a bit easier to accomplish the tasks that seem simple but can be terribly hard, especially if you suffer from depression. i’ve learned that combining things into one task also makes it easier, such as once you get in the shower, do everything. wash your face, brush your teeth, shave, all in the shower. it makes self-care so much easier.

get outside, stay out of bed

laying in bed is the best thing ever, i know, but it can be so easy to get in there and never get out. this is my biggest bad habit. i feel more productive even just sitting on the couch. my bed is like a black hole of lost motivation. go outside for twenty minutes a day if you can. sunlight makes things a little better and staying inside all day does nothing for you.

do one thing that scares you everyday, big or small.

i’m someone who has struggled with social anxiety for years now, but i’m slowly getting better because i’m making a conscious (and very terrifying effort) everyday. this won’t work for everyone, i know, but it’s helped me a little bit. i try to challenge myself everyday to do one thing that scares me, whether it’s asking someone to do something after school or agreeing to get coffee with a friend you’re not super close to yet, or even just making conversation with someone next to me in class. don’t push yourself too far but don’t make zero effort either.

cut the negative language/mindset

anytime you have a negative thought find a reverse positive. even saying “i’m not happy with how my hair looks but my ass looks great in these jeans” is better than saying “i look awful today”. stop the constant internal bullying! think of it this way, if your best friend said the things you say to yourself, how would you feel? you’re your own best friend, so cut the shit! compliment yourself like you do your best friend. complimenting myself and finding things i find beautiful on my own body even once a day has increased my confidence exponentially. a negative language towards yourself leads to a negative mindset.

find someone who motivates you

if you need motivation to work out, study, anything, find a buddy. having someone to do things with and hold you accountable makes a world of difference. this summer i got together with a friend and made a deal that we would work out 2-3 times a week. it worked so much better than if i had just made that goal for myself because she was always there to text me to ask to workout when we needed to but i lacked the desire. and i did the same for her. now we actually both got a job at a gym together this fall and are working out consistently because we have that mutual accountability with each other! plus just having someone you enjoy seeing makes doing the hard task more fun!

accept your individuality

you don’t need to look like society’s ideal of beautiful. there’s millions of types of flowers, and just because one kind is pretty to someone, does that make all the others ugly? no. there’s tons of species of dogs too and they all look totally different. is a poodle ugly just because a golden retriever is cute? NO. your individuality is you. everyone is beautiful in the very own unique way. don’t try to look like someone ellse. your beauty is not measured by how perfect your features are.

drink some fucking water

and eat some food too

understand that a bad week doesn’t mean a bad life

we’re all going to go through those weird ass time periods where it feels like everything sucks and nothing can go right. accept that although it’s pretty bad right now, it won’t be forever.

good luck with this school year everyone! hope my tips help even just one person. take care of yourselves, kiddos.

#studyblr #self love #self care #study motivation #school #studyspiration #studyspo #student #high school #friend

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calliecat93 · 6 years

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RvB16 Episode 6 Review: A Pizza the Action

A common complaint that I’ve seen thrown at the season so far is the comedic focus. It’s an understandable criticism. We’re going into Episode 6 and aside from one or two moments, there has been very little plot and the little we have is confusing. It’s safe to say that we’re due for something big to hit us about now. Can Joe deliver on this? Well... the fact that I can’t think of a segway should be a big hint.

Overview

We begin in 16th Century Italy where Grif is trying to get the local inhabitants to start inventing pizza. Since he can’t speak Italian, it goes about as well as you’d expect. Doc is watching, clearly getting tired of the pizza quest by now. I looked it up and according to Google pizza was invented in 1889. That would be in the 19th Century so... yeah Grif sucks at history. I now 100% believe that he just went back too far in Episode 4, Sammie’s didn’t sell pizza at first, and those kids were just fucking with him. Would anyone be surprised? So yeah, Grif continues to fail and refuses to just invent it himself cause laziness. Doc is tired of the whole thing, wanting to use the Portal Gun for more important things. Grif continues to refuse, so Doc decides to invent it himself.

Meanwhile, Tucker and Sister have not had great luck with their plan to bang celebrities. Essentially Tucker crushed people with horses. How? IDK. But he did. So the two have ended up back in the present at the retirement moon. Tucker decided to go there since he assumed that everyone else would get the same idea and they could all meet back up. Since no one else is there though and the two are pretty sick of each other, they decide to go get drunk. Little do our bickering Blues know, however, Muggins is nearby...

Alright, back to Grif and Doc where it looks like Doc succeeded in making pizza! They did briefly go to the present to pick up ingredients so kudos for the foresight there... but still fail to go to the correct century so they’re still doomed to fail. To be fair, Doc makes the pizza correct... but got healthy ingredients so Grif is pissed. Finally fed up., Grif decides to take a nap, mumbling about how what he loves was taken and now he has to fix it. More on this later. Doc once more pushes for the ‘saving lives’ ideal, revealing that a part of why he became a medic was because his little brother drowned and he failed to save him. It seems to go ignored as Grif snores away, leaving Doc to just mumble about how if hadn't betrayed everyone, they’d have been able to save people. There’s a noticeable shot on Grif as the scene ends though, so... yeah he totes heard all of that. More later. Oh gosh, so much for later...

We cut back to the moon where Tucker and Sister are drunk as fuck. They continue to bicker. Apparently the base got a shipment of booze and a new body for Lopez... so I guess that Grif called for resources during his exile and the delivery guys took their sweet ass time. Typical. Anyways the two continue to argue over their failures at celebrity sex, though we do find out that they murdered Hitler on purpose. SO YES GOOD. Anyways, it looks lie they’re about to have hate sex when Mugigns shows up. He gives one HELL of an intro to King Atlus, but since Tucker and Sister know that they’re drunk, they just assume that they’re hallucinating. At least until Tucker realizes that they’re having the same hallucination. Too little, too late as Atlus... blows them up... yeah... well fuck.

Back on the 16th Century, Grif is up and goes to Doc, who si already bracing to hear the same pizza spiels again. But while Grif makes it clear that he DOES still want his pizza... he’s decided to finally cut Doc some slack and let him go save lives. That... that is so sweet OMG! I am so happy! Grif starts to hand Doc the gun... until Huggins reveals herself, telling him to stop. Grif is confused... and Doc uses the open moment to grab the gun and knock Grif down. He begins laughing evily, his voice noticeably becoming mroe menacing sounding. My friends, O’Malley is back. He opens a portal and escapes, leaving Grif alone with Huggins in the 16th Century with no way out. In other words, FUCK.

Review

HOLY. SHIT.

Okay, so... lets do Tucker and Sister first before we get to the big stuff. So first,t hey are not dead. I do not believe for a second that they are dead. What happened to them IDK. Maybe they opened a portal and got out. Maybe someone else swooped in and saved them, like Donut. We’re probably not going to know for awhile. But there is no way in Hell that they are dead. Aside from that, their scene was amusing and they killed Hitler. So good. What’ll happen with them now IDK, but I think their celebrity banging is done.

Okay, that’s done! Lets get to Doc cause DAMN. I should have seen O’Malley coming. I really, really should have. But I did not. Might be because all last season aside form like five seconds and all of this one so far, O’Malley being a thing again was ignored. It feels like Joe took advantage of that and that most fans had accepted it by this point cause that reveal, HOLY SHIT. So the brother story was probably a lie. hell, apparently ‘deek’ means ‘a deceptive move’. But it does raise some questions. How long as O’Malley been in the drivers seat? Were any of Doc’s lines this season, or even last season, himself? Or as O’Malley? How long did O’Malley plan this? If I had to guess, at least since Episode 4 when eh first went on the ‘saving lives’ rally and by then, hey figured out how the gun worked. Plus I really don’t thin he would have saved Grif at least the first time, so yeah I imagine that Doc was Doc until they figured out the gun, then O’Malley began to make his own plans.

Honestly, the whole reveal was fuckin’ brilliant. Through the past few episodes, Doc acted exactly like... well, Doc. I kind of wondered bout if we’d see O’Malley, but even back in Season 13 O’Malley was strictly used for either comedy or to let Doc get violent during the final battles. Joe played the audience like a freakin’ fiddle. I am still not over the turn of events. Very well done. Also IDK if this means that O’Malley is the true Big Bad or not. If he was, I would like to assume that the Cosmic Gods would be focusing all their efforts on finding and killing Doc instead of everyone. No, it seems more like this is just one part of a MUCH larger plot that spells out the universe’s doom. Still, it is nice to have O’Malley back and the way he played Grif was freakin’ brilliant. Incredibly well done.

Grif... God Joe just seems to love making him suffer. Then again Joe has said before that Grif is his favorite, and writers like making their favorite suffer (speaking from experience here). But God... so lets talk about before the betrayal first. Grif’s line about how he lost what he loves and has to fix it really hits me. Okay, I am probably looking too deeply into this... but it’s my blog so I can if I want to! That line perfectly encapsulates Grif’s entire character so far this season. He’s referring to pizza no longer existing, but think back to Episode 2. He was trying to keep everyone away from every scenario that would cause an adventure. And he failed through no fault of his own. He wanted to go back to doing nothing with the others, and it got broken. He saw it as his job to turn things back to the way it used to be. Back when they didn’t have any fucks to give and when they used to just stand around and talk. He felt that he HAD to steer everyone back on that route. He had to fix it before everything he loved got yanked away from him again.

In other words, pizza is a metaphor for the Reds and Blues to Grif. I think he’s sticking to the pizza out of desperation to have SOMETHING good. Something normal. Hell, maybe he thinks that when he’s invented pizza and things are back to normal, the others will just eventually flock back and they can forget Donut’s warning. That’s stupid, but with Grif’s current state it is completely understandable. But he cant even get that because pizza somehow ceased to exist and Doc made the healthy type. He’s so fed up that he can’t even get a freakin’ slice of pizza without the universe giving him the middle finger. It just really sucks to be Grif tbh and this season in particular makes you feel horrible for him, especially considering last season.

And if the universe couldn't be anymore of a bitch well then look at the ending. Grif actually sympathized with Doc’s sad dead sibling story. Which of course he would. Considering he has a little sister and I imagine that there were plenty of ‘oh shit, she’s dead! WTF do I do!’ moments in his life, that is absolutely how you would get to him. Grif actually felt bad and out of the kindness of his heart, decided to let Doc have his way. Which is a very good character moment for Girf. Yeah he’s a lazy asshole, but he’s not a bad person. He does care about the others, even if he hates to admit it. He can relate to things like worrying over a sibling big time since that was probably all eh did during his childhood. Last season he missed the others so much that he painted their faces onto volleyballs just to have them around in some form/to express how much he regretted it. And even though he fell on his face, he did still try to attack Temple head-on to save the others when they were in armor lock and I fully believe had the lasso trick not failed, he’d have absolutely decked Temple in the face to save them. I can write an entire post on how much Grif truly cares, and this moment really showed that...

...and if he never displays and selfless tendencies again, we can blame O’Malley. But really think about this. OMalley completely manipulated Grif with no effort. That in itself will probably convince Grif to never trust anyone ever again. But really think about where things stand now. O’Malley has left Grif stranded in the 16th Century. Alone. Well Huggins is there, and I imagine that she’ll help him in some way and I am looking forward to their interactions/Grif potentially becoming a protective big bro figure to her. But still, ti doesn’t change the fact that after everything, Grif is alone. After he quit to finally be done with adventure, eventually went back, broke out of his lazy persona to deal with the Blues and Reds to be done with it, and tried his damnest to keep everyone out of adventures, what did it lead to? Everyone got separated, he got stuck with Doc, Doc used him, and now he’s been left alone. After all his efforts and going to Hell and back, Grif is right back to where he was in Season 15: stuck alone on the moon... well it’s Italy but you get the point. But at least in S15 it was by his own choice. This time? It was all by forces beyond his control. That... that is just incredibly cruel when you think about it... this arc better end with Grif happy or so help me.

FInal Thoughts

I fuckin’ loved this episode. It had one Hell of a twist that I did not see coming and it was executed perfectly. The plot is finally kicking in, and boy Joe is NOT holding back. It was funny, it was sweet, it was shocking, and I am still processing all of it. For those who felt lie the season hadn’t been delivering, then strap yourselves in cause Joe has arrived with the goods. I am incredibly excited to see what happens next!

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb16 spoilers #rvb reviews

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choccos-aaart · 3 years

Text

Similarities and Differences Interview!

>>BASE<<

Feat. April & Ida! And some hints to spoiler material, too!

RULES:

- Pick two characters who are similar in some way: appearance, personality or background, etc...

- Put them in the same room and make them answer this interview.

- They can't kill or damage the interviewer in any way (but they can try to).

- Enjoy!

-------------

1. Welcome to the Similarities and Differences Interview! Please, have a seat. Sorry, one of the chairs is creaky.

APRIL: Got it. *Takes a seat*

IDA: 'K... *Takes the other seat*

2. So, who are we having the pleasure to interview today?

APRIL: 'Sup. I'm April. I'm the cyborg kid protag that's in a pretty big story.

IDA: Hi, I'm Ida. I'm an android that pretty much kind of brought April into that same story. and pretty much started most things, really.

3. Cool. Why don't you introduce yourself to our eager readers? Tell us a bit more about yourself!

APRIL: Uh... How? We kind of already did.

IDA: Maybe they meant the sorta things you say in those ice breakers at the beginning of a school year or something?

APRIL: Oh, okay. (In her thoughts) How'd she know about that? (Aloud) Anyways, I'm like 15 years old and I live in an apartment in Niatheia city. I like reading graphic novels and practicing martial arts. I'm real crap at creative arts, though. Ida's turn.

IDA: I've existed for 9 years, but I'm built to look like I'm 14. I'm pretty much programmed to act that way, too. I like drawing and watching anime...

4. Interesting. Is this your first time meeting each other?

APRIL: Oh... Uh... Ida, can you say it, instead?

IDA: Okay. Well... Firstly, my dad's a really, really good engineer, and he was one of the people who built April's cyborg body. April was about 10? I think? After she got better, my dad brought me over to meet her and we talked for a bit. We became kinda friends after that.

5. I see. Some people [I] think you two are [similar in both personality and looks]. What do you think about this?

APRIL: I mean... I don't really blame them. We both like it when there's less people around, we're both quiet, but we still keep our cool.

IDA: I'm cool...?

APRIL: Heck yeahs. And plus, like, we're both small people and we've both got poofy, curly hair.

IDA: Oh yeah, I agree...

6. This interview might be long. Would you like something to drink?

IDA: O-kay...?

APRIL: Sure. Quarter a mug of black. *Gets given a mug of hot coffee*

IDA: I can't really physically drink.

7. How would each of you describe yourself? Good or bad? Lover or fighter? Beauty or beast?

APRIL: I'm the protagonist. 'Course I'm good.

IDA: (Mumbling) Protagonists don't all have to be good...

APRIL: Oh yeah. That.

IDA: (In her thoughts) She heard that?

APRIL: Well, I'm obviously not 100% good, and I think I kind of get worse a lot later on in the story n' stuff, but I'm always on the good side. I think. Ida.

IDA: Yeah, I think I'm pretty good. I mean, I try to be good for everyone, actually. Although that's not always a good thing, because it's hard to be good to everyone. Sometimes you can't be good to everyone. It's hard to be good. ...Shoot, I'm rambling now...

APRIL: Next one's lover or fighter... Hm. I dunno, probably fighter.

IDA: Lover!

APRIL: Wow. That was quick. Now, uh... Beauty or beast?

IDA: Is it bad if I think I look cute?

APRIL: Nop. I think I look nice, too.

IDA: Wait, this isn't literal, is it...?

APRIL: Shoot. No, it isn't literal. Uh... Crap. I'm beast, aren't I?

IDA: Why say that?

APRIL: Dude, I've been told I'm a computer attached to a corpse. And then there's that whole thing that... I dunno. Ah, I can’t see the future.

IDA: What about me?

APRIL: Nah, you're still "beauty".

IDA: Heck yeah! ... Oh shoot, I'm so sorry.

8. And what do you think about your fellow interviewee?

APRIL: I like Ida. She's like a cute little cottontail. And man, she's so good at drawing, too. I wish I was good at art. I'm crap at art.

IDA: H-hey~! Thanks!

APRIL: Hey, no problem. What d'you think of me?

IDA: I like you, too. You're funny!

APRIL: Niiiiceeee. (Not sarcasm btw.)

9. Are you in a relationship? If not, what is your ideal type of person?

APRIL: Haha, hell no.

IDA: I'm not dating anyone, either.

APRIL: I don't even know who I'm into.

IDA: Me neither.

10. Morality test! Your closest family member and your best friend are tied to two time bombs placed at two different location and you only have enough time to save one. Who would you pick?

IDA: Oh... Uh... The only family I really have now is my holographic dad, who's already dead. So... I guess I get an unfair advantage...! Haha...

APRIL: Wrong,

IDA: Huh?

APRIL: My parents are the only family I've ever talked to in the past 6 years, and I still pretty much hate them for bringing me back. I'll save my best friend for sure.

IDA: Oh...!

11. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

APRIL: What's the whatnow?

IDA: I'll ask Sarlife.

APRIL: Yeah, do that. I frickin' hate physics.

12. If you get into a physical fight right now, who do you think would emerge victorious?

IDA: Um... Not me.

APRIL: Now, that's what separates us. She's waayy more passive than I am.

IDA: Yeah, it's pretty rare for me to get assertive...

13. But only you two can save the world from an alien invasion! Can you work together?

APRIL: Well, if you remember last question, I was the assertive one, and Ida's the passive one, so we can work together. Easy.

IDA: Yeah!

APRIL: But I'm not smart. So, Ida can--

IDA: A-ah! I'm not smart enough to clear off an alien invasion! Not even Sarlife can--

APRIL: Chill! It's not actually gonna happen.

14. Freaky Friday! You two were cursed by a gypsy and switched bodies for a week! Do you think you would do well in the other person's shoes?

APRIL, as Ida: Probably.

IDA, as April: I don't think so...

APRIL: Really?

IDA: That wasn't... Never mind. But, I think I'll be fine as April.

APRIL: ... Can we switch back, now?

15. I see. Anyway, what is the best thing that has happened to you lately?

APRIL: Hm... Don't take this the wrong way, but I was finally away from the general public for the first time, I guess?

IDA: ...Uhh, ok.

APRIL: I said DON'T take it the wrong way!

IDA: I know!

APRIL: It's personal reasons, man!

IDA: Anyways, for me, I think the best thing that happened recently was that Lia and I just finished drawing up a comic together! It's really stupid.

16. What about the saddest thing that has ever happened to you? Do you want to share it?

APRIL: Aside from pretty much dying and getting bombarded with crappy social experiences n' stuff, I guess it's being away from my room because I have to do, like, "hero work". Sucks.

IDA: Wow... Hero work sucks. Well, my role in the story's pretty stressful, but it's a secret~! Other than that, my pizza simulator broke...

17. Aw. Why don't you give each other a hug?

APRIL: I'm not that big on hugs.

IDA: Aw...

APRIL: Alright, I'll do it this one time.

-They hug!-

18. Now that you two have known each other better, would you invite the other person to lunch?

APRIL: I don't have a digestive system.

IDA: Me neither!

19. Last question: What do you think about this interview and your absolutely fantastic interviewer Ag-Cat?

APRIL: It was alright.

IDA: I'll give this person some credit. I liked it!

APRIL 'K.

20. Thanks for your time and have a good day! Feel free to take some eyeballs in the bowl before you go. We are out of normal candy.

APRIL: What?

IDA: ...

#Chocco's OCs #April Dejonas #Ida Imauri #Project: April and friends #P:AAF #Chocco's Writing #Chocco does memes #Chocco's info dumps #Chocco's scripts #Cloronve Niathea #April Dedionas #April Dedyonas

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