#actually would this be peerless melons...

[shrimpchipsss]

cumplane version of

[thewindsofsong]

Ok ok ok!!! So last night I had a dream that I rec’ed a dmbj/svsss crossover fanfic, but never actually read the fic. Then I woke up because my cat was yowling in the middle of the night.

After talking with @1ebilcat and @merinnan for a while, I managed to flesh out a basic outline of what that fic might look like. Please know that because this is a crossover with svsss, there is papapa mentioned. several times.... (nothing actually explict is described because that would make this not a not-fic)

So one day SQQ and SQH are messing around trying to figure out what this new “unique one of a kind treasure” does when SQH accideny drops some melon seeds on it or something and it suddenly activates.

Meanwhile in dmbj world, the Iron Triangle are pretty much retired from the whole tomb raiding business, but still run Wushanju (better now that wu xie actually concentrates on running it instead of running off every week). Someone comes in with a strange artifact that they found while clearing out a deceased relatives store room they want to sell. Wu xie buys it because he’s never seen anything like it before and wants to research it.

Xiaoge gets super weird vibes from the object, but it doesn’t seem overtly menacing, so he leaves wu xie be (if wu xie is preoccupied he gets in marginally less trouble). However, when xiaoge touches the object with wu xie and Pangzi nearby, it grows a point and gives xiaoge a paper cut. The blood touches the object and it activates.

One blinding flask of light and disorienting tumble latter, they find themselves at the foot of a picturesque mountain with a gate that labels them at the foot of cang qiong mountain. They’re quickly found by the cang qiong crew and everyone is super weird out by each other. Things happen and eventually LBH crashes in and says his shizun is missing mobei-jun is there too because SQH is also missing. More communication happens and everyone realizes this is the artifact’s fault. No one knows where the artifact is.

Meanwhile SQQ and SQH wake up someone completely unfamiliar to either of them. After using magic to light things up, they see that they are in a tomb absolutely covered in different depictions of penises: there’s pictures on the walls, statues of men with WAY TOO BIG penises, sooooo many dildos. Queue SQQ immediately launching himself at SQH with a shriek of outrage because “THERE’S NO WAY THIS ISN’T YOUR FAULT YOU SHITTY HACK AUTHOR!!”

Back with the iron triangle, there’s a research montage going on as they and other CQ sect member scour the libraries for any information about the mcguffin that caused all this randomness. At some point in all of this, iron triangle go to MQF to see if he can take a look at Xiaoge regarding his memory problems. After some more research, MQF learns about an herb that could stabilize his qi and stabilize the fluctuations that cause his amnesia.

Turns out that while proper cultivation doesn’t exist in dmbj world, the Zhang family line has managed to cultivate the family line to extended life but because they’re the only ones that can (maybe due to bronze gate?) it has a lot of dangers. 

The herb needed is of course incredibly rare and only found in some horribly dangerous location. Xiaoge wants to go alone because he doesn’t want wu xie and pangzi to be in danger, but knows that they won’t be left behind. There’s some agnst had about how Xiaoge feels he’s brought pain and suffering to wu xie and pangzi, but of course neither of them are having any of it. The three of them talk about how they’ve never regretted meeting each other and how the adventures they’ve shared have brought meaning and joy into their lives. 

The three of them cobble together some hotpot and spend the night before setting off soaking their feet side by side, content and secure in their bonds with each other. Its very sweet. 

The next day, the three of them set off with LQG and LBH. Right before arriving at the location, bullshit happens and Iron Triangle get trapped in the location where the herb is located and trigger a wife plot in which papapa is the only way out. Iron triangle proceeds to have incredibly kinky marathon sex. LBH and LQG can only listen awkwardly from the boundary, not able to get through, but also not wanting to leave completely just in case something else happens. The sexual tension between LBG and LQG grows to new heights. Neither will do anything about it until SQQ is back home safe. 

After the marathon is over and iron triangle has time to actually sleep, the three of them get cleaned up with the herb in tow and head back to Cang Qiong. They get the herb to MQF who tells them it will take at least a day to prepare the pill for xiaoge to take. That night, Iron triangle has sweet, tender, affirming sex because while they all agree that while xiaoge not losing his memories every few decades is for the better, it also means that he’ll have to carry the memories of wu xie and pangzi long after they’er gone, with no hope of them ever being together again.  Xiaoge assures wu xie and pangzi that this is what he wants, to know that at least at some point, he loved and was loved, that he had a connection to this world and that his life has meaning beyond his obligations to the Zhang clan. Wu xie and pangzi make xiaoge promise to live on after they pass and to find him in their next lives.

Xiaoge takes the pill and the search for a way back home continues again in earnest. Eventually, LBH travels back to the demon realm and figures out how to track the artifact through space and time because his protag halo is too strong to keep him away from his love interest for too long. 

Wu xie and pangzi learn some basic meditation techniques that disciples would learn when first arrive at the mountain. Its too late for them to cultivate to longevity and there’s no guarantee that its even possible in their home world to cultivate if you aren’t a Zhang. Regardless, wu xie and pangzi don’t want immortality, they just want to spend as much time as they can with xiaoge. Wu xie is gifted a flute made with special bamboo and pangzi is gifted a wine jug from Zui Xian Peak. Both have spiritual properties that may or may not be able to function when back home, but they’er good gifts given in good faith. 

LBH, losing patience, forces iron triangle to get moving so he can save SQQ. He bursts through time and space and iron triangle plus LBH, MBJ, and LQG end up in dmbj world, in Wushanju. After scaring the crap out of Wang Meng, the group realizes that while several days have passed in svsss world, its only been a few hours since iron triangle was pulled away. Which is good because Ershu was likely to call in an army if wu xie went missing for no apparent reason. The whole thing would have been way too messy. Probably more than one person would have died. 

What follows is a night of LBH, LQG, and MBJ attempting different divination spells to try and pin point the exact location of SQQ and SQH to varying degrees of success. None of them are good at divination. Regardless, the three of them manage to get a general location of where the two missing peak lords might be and the iron triangle gets to work searching the internet for any rumors or information of any tombs that might be in the area. (Its just wu xie and pangzi looking, but xiaoge standing around still in his beautiful borrowed robes from CQ is good moral support.) 

They hear about some local legends about an ecentric noble from a bygone era that was buried in a very peculiar tomb. Potential tomb located, the whole group prepares to head out. the SVSS gang is convinced to not fly over immediately because that would be waaaaay to flashy and draw unwanted attention to them that would delay things even more. The six of them cram in together into the van and head off. Svss gang are forced into modern clothing and are def a little too big to comfortably sit in the van. LBH hits his head on a doorway at least once on this adventure. At lease two women and maybe a guy slip their numbers to him too. The man is supernaturally gorgeous.

After some more road trip shenanigans,  they arrive at the rumored entrance to the tomb and head in. The tomb has a few traps here and there, but is practically child’s play for the iron triangle to get through. Svsss are appropriately impressed by their competence and LBH and LQG think specifically about how the iron triangle is a true threesome that supports each other and fights together. MBJ just wants his hamster boy back. 

When they near the central chamber of the tomb, they hear the faint sounds of fighting which spurs SVSSS to speed ahead while iron triangle tries to get them to at least be a little cautious about setting off traps. 

The sight that LBH sees when he breaks into the main chamber like the kool aid man is a disheveled SQQ beating SQH over the head with a baton? Kind of. Its a baton carved into the shape of a penis. SQQ immediately stops and tries to put on his “peerless immortal cultivator” mask on with a flick of his fan, but its hard for that to be effective when your hair is all over the place and your in a room covered in penises. SQH dives for his king’s thighs and cries in relief that he’s no longer trapped in a room full of dildos and penises with SQQ. 

Then the iron triangle catches up and the realization that SVSSS gang is in modern clothing sinks in. The transmigrators freeze for just a second before jumping in front of iron triangle with a thousand questions. They ask in their shitty English which leaves answering the questions mostly to wu xie because pangzi’s english is pretty spotty and xiaoge doesn’t like talking in general, let alone a foreign language.

The whole group eventually leaves the tomb and all its phallic glory behind and get above ground where there’s phone service again. After a bit of searching, the transmigrators realize that while this world is very similar to their original world, there’s no signs of “Proud Immortal Demon Way” ever being written here, no other signs pointing to the two of them existing in this world. SVSS gang are very concerned as they watch SQQ and SQH talk in a strange language to these relative strangers, but don’t feel like its the time to figure out whats going on until everyone gets back home. The now expanded group makes their way back to Wushanju in an even more cramped road trip back. SQQ absolutly ends up in LBH’s lap at least once and SQH ends up with MBJ’s head in his lap at some point. its all very cute as the feeling of everyone being accounted for and safe settles in. 

Maybe there’s some stuff about SQQ and SQH being transmigrators and them being tempted for all of half a second to stay in this world that is so very much like their original world but choosing to go back with their lovers and the lives they’ve made for themselves. 

As the complete SVSSS gang now gets ready to head back home, the Iron triangle makes a huuuuge goody bag of all the snacks and treats that SQQ and SQH have been missing ever since they’ve transmigrated and put together a basic netbook plus solar charger for them to take back. There won’t be internet service back in SVSS world, but they loaded it up with a whooole bunch of web novels and pop songs, along with a few spare parts. 

SVSSS gang finally makes their way home after having a large farewell dinner at Wushanju at Pangzi’s insistence and LBH bullies his way into helping out. Its a very sweet scene of laughing and drinking. After dinner is done, SVSSS decide to go back immediately because the time dilation thing would mean they would be away for longer than they would like. 

Once back home, LBH, SQQ, and LQG have a confrontation/conversation about their relationships with each other and figure out if they want to try being all together, all three of them. MBJ confines SQH to his northern palace. Specifically their bedroom. He was also the one that remembered to grab the artifact that caused all these problems to begin with while everyone else was distracted by dildo tomb.

Iron triangle goes back to their retirement, at peace with the decisions they’ve made and the lives they’ve chosen to live.

THE END!!!

[annaisu]

Really?! Ahhh, okay!!! Here's some stories/authors I'd like to recommend! I ended up naming waaay more than I meant to, but! How could I not??? I love them so much!

I tried to include word counts along with the appropriate links and descriptions... and mandatory gushing, because! These are all! So good!!!)

I actually just finished rereading Nyoomerr's stuff myself, and, ahhh!!! Very good choice, I loved reading them!!! A++!

The one I'm currently most in love with is finished but not finished being published - so it has a guaranteed completion - and is a Luo Binghe time travel from the middle of book 2. By VeryCharismaticDragons, A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House is currently my absolute favorite time travel SV fic. Their characterization is amazing, and they pay attention to all the little details from the book! The characters are emotional in believable ways - Luo Binghe is trying so hard and he's still not okay and just- if I had to only recommend one story, it would be this one.

The Feels Whale - Just. Everything TheFeelsWhale!!! They write both short and longer fics, and I can't recommend just one!! What Dreams May Come (45k 15/16 chapters) - what if, during SQQ's 5 year dirt nap, he ended up in Luo Binghe's dreams? It is highly NSFW, so prepare for that - but hooo boy is there plot!! Achievement Unlocked (51k), where they end up temporarily reverse-transmigrating into Shen Yuan's world as a post-cannon extra! Binghe gets a System when he immediately chased after an unwillingly disappeared Shen Qingqiu - and Shen Yuan's backstory is more than it seems!! Tongfang (25k) is just. so good? It's a Shen Yuan transmigrates as someone else fic, and they pull it off really well?? He's still very much our Shen Qingqiu, just under a different name. ^_^ Dust and Broken Grains (5k) just got a continuation sequel and - just. LBH has a breakdown in Jinlan city and unlocks SQQ seeing him for himself early - nothing is fixed yet, but it's such a promising future!!! There'slso A World of Water and Crystal (38k), but I should really move on to the next author--

AMereDream. They write a bunch of really good, really meta fics! Lots of really great characterization!!! Continued is a super meta story taking place in a parallel version of SY's and Airplane's original world - I'll just copy these tags :3 Shen Yuan didn't die & aka what if the bingge vs bingmei extra got written into pidw and just. So much meta. 8 chapters, 14k, includes Shen Yuan livestreaming 25hours straight filling all of PIDW's plotholes via some of the comments section.

(AMereDream Continued) Write Me Well is just - a fantastic look at Cucumber and Airplane and is also super meta. Short, 4k, and well worth the read. And the same name and now you know the truth (now forget and be content) for some SJ!SY goodness - I personally only really like this concept in limited scenarios. These are those limited scenarios. And- okay, I need to move on - just know there's more <3333

X_los. Just. X_los. Without A Clue (16k), where Luo Binghe stumbles into a good ending by finding the cure for Without a Cure early! Peerless Melons vs the Patriarchy, which is part of a genderswap series in which Shen Qingiqu (both original and new) is a girl - but still in love with Binghe, and still in denial about it. XD Anyways, Stan Shen Qingqiu (5k), where a new transmigrator (to acompletely different story) runs into The Shen Qingqiu, of Resentment of Chunshan renown - and finds a godsend of a senior transmigrator, bc this one is just. "running around half-baked." SVSSS Miscellany(53k) which is just. A bunch of cleaned-up, really fun twitterfics

Okay, you can't read Scum Villain Fics and not read Feynite's Scum Villain AUs! It's 41 different chapters for I think 23 different AUs - some have more continuation chapters - and is about 480k words, currently! There's an AU where instead of PIDW, Shen Yuan wakes up as a hecking dragon in a dragon world and it's just---! There's a "Supervillain" AU where he wakes up as a supervillain (SJ) in a world he'd never read about, but he can tell what kind of universe it is! There's so many different flavors, and all of them are so well-written!

FOR YOUR SHEN JIU AND SHEN YUAN NEEDS!!! Local 12 Year Olds Refuse to be Separated; What Happens Next Will Warm Your Heart by allula is just. Wow. I really really wish it was longer than the 47k it already is - it's incomplete, but was last updated Feb '21. Basically: What if PIDW had Fusion from Steven Universe, and Shen Yuan was not transmigrated into SQQ but as a slave along with SJ and YQY?

I Wish You Were My Husband by Feynite - 110k with a 320k companion and sequel piece - instead of writing PIDW, Airplane wrote - well. The summary goes: "Wherein Shen Yuan transmigrates into a harem intrigues romance novel (gay edition), Yue Qingyuan really fucks up, Liu Qingge is not suitable for his job, and no one even remotely sees Luo Binghe coming." And our poor Shen Yuan never finished the original novel - he died near the end of the first book in the huge series- so he has no idea what fate would befall the world... or his servant, who quickly became one of - if not his most - favorite people in this new world. Just. Really good, and the companion piece just keeps on giving! A Bingge crossover extra, SJ being reborn and SY and LBH taking him in, YQY realizing so many things (way too late, as always).

Can't we just skip to the end? (59k) by chaoticgoodlawyer and it's ongoing sequel, Don't You Know (That I'm Yours) (295k)!!! A really good time travel fic, where post-canon LBH swaps places with Disciple LBH, about a year before the Abyss! Our favorite Bingmei knows all about his husband, and wants to help give Shen Yuan (and his younger self) a better future without all their misunderstandings. However, this doesn't mean everything is easily fixed - as the 300k sequel (almost finished, but not quite!) shows! The relationship between Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu is just - adorable??? Amazing??? Really warm and loving and wonderful??? Aside from quibbling with 1 character's characterization (read below) I really really do recommend this. I've reread this so many times, and I know I'll keep rereading it in the future!!!

(Their Yue Qingyuan starts from the negative fanon version of him - always going Xiao-Jiu Xiao-Jiu, never letting him go, being more...idk, and where sqq is frustrated by him rather than feels like he's a good big-brother figure - and then following a very reasonable devolving as the story goes along. It makes sense story wise, but it's just - bugging me extra right now, and his ending is a bit much. but that's over 300k down the line of an otherwise fantastic story.)

The best Luo Binghe by Neery is a quick (10k) but good NSFW fic with fantastic characterization? It's a very fun and interesting exploration of Luo Bingge being dropped in a convention and just rolling with it - and picking up Shen Yuan cosplaying Shen Qingqiu, who is absolutely thrilled to spend time with the best Luo Binghe at the convention :3 (They also have a really good temp!Amnesia MBJ/SQH short story (14k), so good!!)

Sleeping Awake is a really well written short story (9k) by Azaisya, with a temporarily de-aged SJ waking up on his peak, running into LBH, and LBH handling the whole thing quite well (and getting waay more insight into the Peak Master he still wants to impress) and even leading him up to the Sect Master - where communication is eventually had :3

I don't know how well known this one is, but it was the very first MXTX fanfiction I ever read, and how I discovered Mo Xiang Tong Xiu in the first place, so I have to recommend it. An Easy Lie by Nythtak - Shen Jiu is Shen Yuan's older brother, and bonded with him over reading and criticizing this ridiculous story, PIDW. Shen Jiu dies while composing his last text to Shen Yuan, ranting about the story - which he promptly wakes up in. No fool, Shen Jiu quickly blends into the persona of Shen Qingqiu - even if he does end up almost slipping into his anger issues, which he had under control with therapy and his family in his last life. He gets a very nasty surprise when he realizes that he and the original scum villain share a personal name - and an even nastier surprise after he makes an shocking decision at the edge of the abyss. ...I'll go ahead and say that I ended up writing a companion piece from LBH's PoV for one of the chapters, so - I really do love this story, and thank it again for leading me into Scum Villain, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, and even Heaven Official's Blessing.

ahhh, there's so much more!!! just - here is a link to my 60 SVSSS bookmarks that I rec&love the most!!

Last few, I'm just going to drop titles and authors because I got too excited and ran out of steam (even though I really want to keep going on about all of them!!!):

Every Gamble Has A Price by Lost_Starlight - 78k alternate SQQ 1st (2nd) death

honesty is such a lonely word by chrysaliseater - not the most serious characterization, but really good anyways

It's A Trap! by WanderingMerchant - 58k for more SJ & SY!

Two for the price of one by Empressed - 45k SJ&SY!

The An Ding Peak Lord's Holy Cheat Sheet by JerichoJaspersJeromeJr - 6k MBJ and Airplane and just. I love when SQH is called out on building this entire world.

Raising The Scum Villain by Luunyscarlet - 52k SJ & SY quite good. Despite the weird circumstances, characterization holds up well!!!

A Pairing of Souls by Muzu - SY wakes up in the plant body early, and with an extra passenger ^_^

Bros before... well everything I guess by Icannotthinkofapenname Cucumplane frienship

Bonus Material by Ilthit - 11k pop up as 11 year old when SJ is burning down the Qiu

Keep Safe by Anonymous - 6k, SJ and SY can visit and travel back and forth as kids

creative mode by marquisguyun 3k cute little SY as SJ's baby

*vibrates intensely* Did you say Scum Villain's Self-Saving System????!!! Wpuld you like recs of any kind??? I have bookmarked 1,024 svsss stories (of varying qualities) and I would be happy to reccommend any based off anything you want to read. Long, short, a specific trope or idea- odds are pretty decent I can think of something, but I won't shove reccommendations at you without asking ^^;; But either way, ahhhh!!! Welcome to SVSSS!!!!

I have already gone through an embarrassingly large number of fics on ao3, including all of esama’s fics, all of nyoomerr’s fics, and many more, but I’d love to hear about some of your favorites!

(Also fics where Shen Yuan manages to make Shen Jiu’s life a little happier, either by rescuing him as a kid or just providing support somehow because fuck is that dude’s backstory tragic. Doesn’t excuse his future actions, of course, but I admit I have a weakness for fics where Xiao Jiu becomes a bit of a better person and manages to obtain happiness in the end. Read a few fics where they’re brothers or something and I just love their potential dynamic).