#actually xuan su is such a special thing

[i-like-danmei-ig]

maybe I'll make humanized versions of xuan su, chen luan, and xiu ya

(they'd never stood out to me as particularly special like the others weapons I've humanized but it could be fun!!)

[lovefrombegonia]

THIS IS A HEADCANON:

I do not claim this to be canon at all. It's just a personal headcanon, bro. LOL

tw // references to childhood abuse, gore, torture

That Binghe vs Bingge extra did give me a PIDW scenario more bingge whump and qijiu angst:

Listen...I love badass, glorious, powerful cultivator Yue Qingyuan. I don't remember if it is canon or not if he is a serious threat to LBH and xin mo but I do like to think that he was the only cultivator capable of actually beating PIDW LBH, and LBH knew that. He knew YQY could rock his shit. He also hated YQY for enabling SQQ's gruesome abuse towards him. So, in his mind, YQY is like a corrupt, enabling sect leader who is also powerful enough to fight a pure-blooded heavenly demon like Tianlang jun while just being a disciple. He also knows that YQY, for some reason he decided isn't important to explore, really cares about SQQ. So, LBH decides to set a trap for YQY. He tears SQQ's legs off, tortures him into writing a letter, and decides 10,000 cursed arrows is enough to atleast seriously injure YQY, and then if he is somehow still alive, Xin Mo can take care of the rest.

Everything...goes as planned. ALmost. YQY rushes towards HHP to save SQQ in a maddening, suicidal rage. LBH cannot help but be a bit shocked at this vicious level of devotion this powerful, powerful sect leader has towards a scum like SQQ. He watches as YQY doesn't even really fight off all the arrows. It's like... it's like he really WANTS to be killed. It's like YQY is punishing himself. And yet, every tiny essence of life in YQY is trying its best to walk towards HHP. He will not stop until he dies. And...LBH can't help but laugh a little. A lot. Actually. 'This is the man you're willing to die for Sect Leader?!', LBH thinks, 'A scum who tortured his own disciples? A lecher who lusted after his own disciple? A filthy dog who killed how own shidi?? YOU WILL RIP YOURSELF APART FOR A WORTHLESS SCUM WHO NEVER EVEN RESPECTED YOU!! You're the dumbest human I have ever come across...'

He watches in awe as even pinned to the ground by several arrows, YQY is willing to tear him own flesh apart to try and move forward towards SQQ... One can't even recognise the esteemed CQMS leader anymore. He is two steps away from looking like a blob of flesh. As another round of hundreds of arrows rained on YQY, LBH watched the pathetic man turned to mush, and the magnificent Xuan Su vibrated wildly one last time before breaking into many pieces.

The sect leader was no more. LBH is a bit surprised at everything that just happened. His plan worked though. It's all that mattered. YQY was no longer a threat to him, and him empire. Now, he has to pay a visit to his shizun. He wanted to bring a piece of YQY's body to SQQ but the poisoned arrows had made sure nothing remained of him. Only the broken shards were left behind. He decided that Xuan Su would be a better "gift" anyways, after all, it was the symbol of YQY's might. The mighty that shielded SQQ for so long. It was the only thing that would matter to the scum, after all, SQQ did not really care about YQY. He insulted him every chance he got. With that thought, he went to the special prison. He couldn't wait to feel the rush of satisfaction as he imagines SQQ's face of horror.

'This...this is not...this is not right.', LBH thought as he watched SQQ's face froze in horror but...it's was a horror of different kind. 'He...should not be looking like that. Why is he looking like that!? Why is he...' and LBH couldn't clearly think for a moment. He was expecting SQQ to cry pathetically at a loss of a powerful backing. He wasn't expecting SQQ to have so many myriad of emotions...confusion, realization, shock, terror...guilt, sorrow...despair, HEARTBREAK, and then...madness. Submission. Submission of a man who has nothing to lose anymore. SQQ looked like... He was ready to die. No. No no no. This is not how it was supposed to be. NO!! SQQ SHOULD BE BEGGING FOR LBH TO SPARE HIM NOW! Crying and screaming instead of laughing hysterically like he was giving this mutilated piece of shit a funny stage show. “Luo Binghe, you’re a bastard, did you know that?”

He is still laughing. Still laughing but you can tell, Oh! You can tell that SQQ is in pain! LBH has ripped his left arm apart now and that pain is nothing compared to the agony that YQY's death has caused him. He is laughing, but his eyes already look dead, they look like they are already mourning! Already far away, only the body remains, trembling and seizing in pain to reach the departed soul.

“Luo Binghe, hahahaha…oh Luo Binghe, you…"

There is no satisfaction here. Because. Because... LBH looks on as he realises... This evil, abusive, traitorous, perverted scum of a man...was capable... Of love?? His shizun loved. He loved someone. SQQ...was capable of affection. Loving...truly loving someone so much. Loving someone so much so as to push him away. So... that's why YQY never tried to break SQQ out of prison. Loving someone enough to surrender himself to HHP so that YQY won't lose his status and honour by starting a sect war. Oh yes, YQY, was so ready to start a sect war for this scum...this... This scum who loved him. Something heavy, something unexplainably cruel and cold grips LBH's heart so tightly, he feels like if someone so much as pokes at him now, he will break apart. All SQQ ever did was torment everyone around him, spreading his miasma everywhere, and insulted YQY any chance he got...and YQY still loved SQQ all the same. SQQ was supposed to be a lecherous swine incapable of caring for anyone. He was supposed to be evil, and villainous to EVERYONE. A monster to EVERYONE. Because if he is a monster to EVERYONE then of course, he will be a monster to his own disciple, right? LBH found himself getting lost in these turbulent thoughts. He can't do that right now. No, not infront of SQQ.

'He is trying to provoke me into killing him. He will not have an easy way out like that.' thought LBH, as he told SQQ, in a calm, gentle voice, "You want to die? You can’t expect it to really be that easy. Shizun, after all the evil things you’ve done throughout your life, hurting those hostile towards you, hurting those with no malice whatsoever towards you, barely clinging to life and still able to throw a zhangmeng in with the lot—if you don’t die a little slowly, get a chance to suffer all the misery everyone else did, how else could you make it up to them?" After that, SQQ stopped laughing but his expression was unexpected. He looked almost...he looked like he understood. He looked like he was ready. For what? LBH didn't want to know anymore. Xuan Su felt heavier and heavier in his hand. It was no longer just a symbol of YQY's power. It was also a remainder of the genuine and unconditional love his shizun got from someone. He threw the damned sword at SQQ, walked away in a daze.

As he walked away, he couldn't help but think: why...? Why did this happen? If SQQ was always capable of loving then why couldn't he-- He was writhing in pain and heartbreak for YQY, a man who couldn't even protect him, who was so indecisive even at crucial moments, that he couldn't even rescue him from the water prison despite knowing he was capable of it!! Why mourn for the death of someone who failed to protect him when it mattered the most? Who didn't even really try, to be honest. YQY came here to die! Things started falling into places, and LBH hated this picture. Because the picture depicted a story he didn't even know he was a part of. A story of two people who didn't deserve the genuine and unconditional love and loyalty they gave to each other... And he played a side part. He hated himself for thinking this but he couldn't stop himself: if shizun was always capable of loving...why couldn't he love me back? It wasn't fair. IT WASN'T FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR!! IT HURTS!! IT HURTS!! WHY?! WHY ME?! WHAT DID I DO WRONG?! What was my fault... WHY!!! LBH didn't even realise when he started crying.

[youtiaoshutiao]

传闻中的陈芊芊 thoughts

i haven’t been very active lately but i just came on to say, i binged on the romance of tiger and rose / 传闻中的陈芊芊 and have 2 eps left and i love it SO SO MUCH. i was expecting some pure crack but beyond that, i really ended up catching much feels for it?

and i think beyond the outlandish hilarity of some of the scenes and the cheeky meta, it’s actually a pretty decent drama with its plot and character motivations largely dictated by logic. i have to commend the scriptwriter nan zhen 南镇 for the entire set up of the drama (and it’s her original script!!! which is so rare in the industry nowadays run over by book adaptations - i mean i love those too but i still think it’s an easy way out for production companies when they adapt books with established fan bases). it’s actually really clever of her because all plot holes/flaws in world building can easily be attributed to xiaoqian’s lousy scriptwriting abilities?

i really did become quite impressed with the plot as the episodes progressed haha. the conflict and plot thickens as xiaoqian, now as qianqian, with the mindset that she’s not part of this story at all and that she’s interacting with a bunch of characters on paper, continues to engineer plot machinations trying to steer the plot in the right direction to get to the end so she can return back to the real world. and you slowly see how that just devolves into complete chaos and plot twists when surprise! she IS part of the story, she IS interacting with these characters and they are influenced by what she says and does! so you have her original male lead hanshuo, destined for the female lead chuchu, falling in love instead with her and changing his entire plan because of that. you have chuchu, the original female lead, slowly growing more unhinged as she perceives qianqian’s actions and words as callous and uncaring and outrightly antagonistic towards herself and as her resentment builds when everyone seems to shower affection and attention on qianqian still.

adding on to that is, how xiaoqian as a scriptwriter views and perceives her characters? some characters like hanshuo, she clearly constructed with much care and love, as seen by how she knows exactly how to make hanshuo happy and doesn’t want to upset him in the initial episodes (which caused him to fall for her like a devoted puppy). yet it seems like she either didn’t grasp fully their character motivations/personality/how their character is moulded by their backgrounds? which is why she probably didn’t see how the inherent difference with which her mother treats qianqian vs chuchu would lead to jealousy and resentment seeping in and poisoning chuchu’s heart. and her visualising han shuo as a murderous calculating career-driven male lead aka the male lead of eastern palace clearly runs contrary to how he is total putty and has barely hurt a fly ever since he fell in love with qianqian.

and there are characters too like her mother that she originally clearly just wrote in as characters to steer the plot forward, and in-world, she is clearly stricken when she realises how they have emotions and hidden depths beyond what she fathomed - like when her and her mother had that semi HTHT after she stole the dragon bone and her mum stayed by her bedchamber to watch over her all night. and another example would be su ziying - she’s so happy to see him when he appears as in that moment she’s viewing him from the lens of the scriptwriter of this story and she knows he’s going to push the plot forward. but seeing him and his actions actually playing out - she gets irritated by what he does and also his actions actually do end up affecting her, because she is in the story too!!!

and moving on from that, as the plot further progresses, another spanner is thrown into the mix when she realises that male lead is really really in love with her! and would give up everything for her! and... she too is in love with him!! and this changes things too because while initially all her actions were to push the plot to move forward the way she originally wrote it so that she can head back, now she’s actively trying to push back against the flow of events, as she’s now emotionally invested in this and doesn’t want the male lead to die as per her original script.

the play out of all these was really really entertaining and gripping to watch?? i was legitimately bowled over by how affected i was when all the angst came in, because it really felt like it made sense amidst all the crack and was well set up? and throughout it all, the actions of all the main players in the plot made sense and were logical, even the secondary leads chuchu and peiheng. haha idek if i’m ascribing too much credit to this whole plot, maybe it’s really just meant to be a cracky fun time and i’m too into it HAHA.

there’s also the set up of huayuan city being a matriarchal society where basically the roles of women and men are reversed. it is really v trippy!!! and An Experience to see scenes like men being harrassed by women, people tittering at other men for not being covered up enough in public, wares that can increase your chances of birthing a female heir being peddled on the streets. initially i was kind of apprehensive as to how it was going to play out. now at ep 22 where they’ve gone to xuanhu city which is patriarchal the conversation regarding gender roles and gender equality is continuing!! but i shall reserve my thoughts and comments till the entire arc plays out.

but beyond all that, the drama is just so much fun fun funnnnn!!!! i loveddddd seeing how this drama about a scriptwriter getting stuck in her own script had scenes interspersed with storytellers on the street retelling qianqian’s exploits and qianqian’s regular meetups with the storytellers/opera writers to discuss how the plot of the drama was going or even the scene where hanshuo and peiheng went to the opera house for their male lead showdown and the opera characters were there saying all the rude things they wanted to say to each other. such fun meta?? breaking the fourth wall?? satire?? idek LOL i just know i enjoyed it thoroughly

and lastly, apart from all the thinky thinky stuff, i’m thoroughly charmed by the otp HAHA. i loveeeee qianqian so much and zhao lusi is soo effortlessly adorable and natural and charming in this role that i can totally see why everyone from han shuo to her mother is enamoured by her. i actually am really curious also to see how qianqian before xiaoqian transmigrated into her body was like - seeing how her servant didn’t seem to have any whiplash from an extreme change in personality suggest that maybe qianqian wasn’t all that different from xiaoqian?? and probably might not have been that spoilt/callous/havoc-wreaking as everyone perceives her to be?

and han shuo too is SO entertaining and funny and darling - when he first came to huayuan city he’s all “i’m cunning and smart and i’m going to MANIPULATE EVERYBODY for my/xuan hu city’s benefit” and “i want chen qianqian to die with ten thousand arrows through her heart!! i want her to be stabbed by knives three thousand times!! not a single time less!!!” and “do you think i don’t dare to kill you?!”. then he falls in love with her and instantly he’s all puppy eyes and utter devotion. IT’S DELICIOUS. ding yuxi really makes staring at your FL like she’s the only one in the world an art form. and as one comment on a bilibili mv said regarding han shuo’s supposed bloodlust, “han shuo, up to this point you’ve only killed one horse” HAHA

(keep in mind that it’s not even that han shuo ordered the killing of this horse, it was his subordinate that killed it on his behalf, and han shuo was Not Happy about it after that!)

together the otp are even more adorable!!! it’s teeth rotting fluff but yet it comes off very earnest and adorable without being cloying. i was literally clutching my heart and grinning at the screen dopily at some scenes. and even though the otp dynamic and character setups are not really the same, the way the two of them bicker and act like children around each other kind of remind me of yongqi and xiaoyanzi from hzgg for some reason lol.

and apart from the otp, there are a whole host of supporting characters that are really very funny and adorable and entertaining to watch haha. special shoutout to both han shuo and qianqian’s subordinates who are HILARIOUS and plain Done with their masters’ nonsense (especially bai ji who really just wants to get shit done okay!! but his master just keeps on wanting to fall in love and date!!) there’s also qianqian’s older sister yuanyuan who is disabled and on a wheelchair, and with a sad yet somehow hilarious penchant for writing multiple drafts of her will. and her otp, su mu, a courtesan (yes the courtesans in this city are all male).

honestly i’m not sure where i’m going with this, i just briefly scanned through what i’ve written so far and lol seems like paragraphs of illogical incoherent rambling. I’m sorry it’s 5am over here i’m not really thinking straight T_T i just have a lot of feels for this drama okay ;_____;

[eldritch-elrics]

For the ask: MXY

How I feel about this character

i love him so much. mo xuanyu is one of my absolute favorite character archetypes - the vessel. not important as an individual, only important for how his body can be used to store another soul. it’s just a special level of tragedy and....... wow.

plus! just! there’s so much more interesting stuff about him! his demonic cultivation - the fact he was able to actually pull off a sacrifice summon! his hunger for revenge! the way his narrative is twisted by everyone around him! how he fits into the theme of untold stories! and more..

hey also fun fact! the character for the “xuan” in his name, 玄, is used in the first chapter of the daode jing to talk about...... god i don’t know if i can explain it but it’s like the origin/merging of the concept of namelessness/unity (dao) + the concept of naming/deconstruction and there’s this line about crossing the threshold of that blackness and getting beyond dualisms and that kind of reminds me of mxy’s disappearance from the narrative and WELL ACTUALLY this is just gonna become me ranting incoherently about daoism if i get into that so i will not. 玄 is probably a common character used in all sorts of contexts and i’m just making a big deal out of it because i’ve read the daode jing too many god damn times

All the people I ship romantically with this character

there are, unfortunately, no healthy relationship prospects for mo xuanyu. i do think he gets a couple unrequited (or semi-requited) crushes - most notably on xue yang and nie huaisang. those are super interesting ships to explore (i’m planning to write a mxy/xy fic!) with lots of depth and lots of fucked-up-ness. another headcanon i have is that he fantasizes about wei wuxian lmao (but doesn’t really feel anything about him)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

mxy & nhs as caring-but-secretly-manipulative platonic/mentor-student relationship is my jam. there’s sooo much potential oh man

jgy!!! i think mxy cared so much about jgy. and then of course it’s all shattered. in an ideal world mxy would be closer with all his siblings - i also wonder what his relationship with qin su might’ve been if they’d been allowed to be proper siblings!

super interested in aus where mxy somehow survives/comes back and is able to meet wwx. like maybe an au where mxy’s spirit lives on in wwx’s brain? LOVE that shit. body sharing is one of my favorite tropes

i’m also interested in the concept of him meeting wn while wn’s still locked in the jin dungeon...

i had an au concept where he meets xxc too but that one was kind of weird and complicated

My unpopular opinion about this character

so we all know that mo xuanyu is extremely traumatized. i think he was also very neurodivergent even before he was traumatized, though, which 1. contributed to his reputation of “insanity,” 2. made it easier for people to pin blame on him for things he didn’t do, and 3. made him very easy to misinterpret/misunderstand. so, something like him harassing qin su? he wasn’t trying to harass her, but it came off that way because i think he has issues with boundaries (which i’ve talked about before) and communication. then of course someone like jgy took advantage of that and used it to kick out mxy. knowing that no one would believe him if he told the truth: see “bad at communication.”

...which is basically to say that i don’t think his breakdown after getting kicked out of jinlintai was the start of his issues; i think he was always neurodivergent in some sense and everyone around him was just horrible at dealing with that

also, i don’t think the way he responded to his trauma was pretty! even though he is the ultimate victim i can definitely imagine him lashing out and hurting people even before the sacrifice summon. he really needs some therapy

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i wish he’d been remembered more. i wish wwx had tried to get to the bottom of who mxy really was. i wish he hadn’t just been pushed aside and forgotten. i want him to have friends! i want him to be loved! i want people to try and understand him rather than use him for their own gains!

on the other hand, his narrative absence is so powerful

THIS GOT REALLY LONG! thank you!!

[nyerus]

Hi there! I'm so sorry for how long it took--this week has been so hectic! I'm so excited to answer all of these haha! I’m gonna do them all in one shot, if you don’t mind~ Prepare for a huge wall of text lol:

Xie Lian and Lang Qianqiu:

Honestly I think the interesting part of this relationship is how open-ended it is. LQQ's feelings towards XL fundamentally change after learning the truth and he has absolutely no choice but to accept the fact that everything he once thought he knew was utterly wrong. It's still true that XL delivered the mercy kill on LQQ's father, and took responsibility for that regardless, but he was innocent of the crimes LQQ "killed" him for in return. That's a hard thing to grapple with. After all, LQQ went centuries ignorant of the truth, never dug deeper, and also benefitted from that ignorance by thinking he delivered righteous retribution. Possibly also ascended from it. Now to realize it's all untrue? Such a blow for someone like that. It's not surprising he doesn't know how to deal with it. XL himself thought it would be unfair to take that away from him, but the truth is the truth, and no one could protect him from it (nor should they have had to) forever.

XL and LQQ's relationship before all that, though -- back when XL was Guoshi -- seemed to be quite good. XL was a strict but fair mentor, who wanted to help guide this child to his fullest potential. I think he saw a lot of himself in LQQ, and wanted to do right by him. (This is an interesting parallel between XL and JW, too. How they both had protégés, but XL wanted to protect his protégé, while JW wanted to break his.) On LQQ's side, there was definitely some idolization of his teacher. Understandable that he would be awed by the mysterious and skilled Guoshi, who not only saved him, but went on to become his teacher for years.

I think XL always continued to see LQQ favorably, and felt a great deal of guilt for not being able to give him a good life, free of the troubles he himself faced. It clearly weighs heavily on XL that they turned out too similar in some aspects, like how they lost people they loved. But it's clear that LQQ doesn't really blame him anymore, even if things are now awkward between them post-canon. He clearly still feels things towards his old teacher, and I think it's interesting that he kept watch over Guoshi Grave -- even had special wards around it centuries later -- and when it was "disturbed" in the final extra, he immediately went down to investigate. And he also clearly wanted to do something to help XL, but didn't know how, and was sick with guilt that he caused XL that much pain. On XL's side, he definitely didn't want Hua Cheng to kill his old disciple lol. (I also think it was very shocking for LQQ to see XL so... different than how he was as Guoshi! So much to process for him.) Who knows how they’ll ultimately turn out~

Backtracking a bit: the ending scene we get for them in the main novel, with LQQ returning the earring, is actually really beautiful and symbolic. I don't think it's a coincidence that MXTX had it be LQQ. (While realistically, he does make the most sense as King Lang Ying's descendant, there are countless ways the coral pearl could have ended up in anyone's hands.) That whole thing represents that your kindness will come back to you. It isn't for nothing. That doing good and helping others IS worth it. This is not only what XL believed, and what he wanted to specifically teach LQQ, but also what one of the themes of the novel is. Kindness is difficult, and often met with harshness or even hate, but ultimately, it is worth it. Because the difference you make for one person will last an eternity.

Xie Lian and Banyue:

I think that's a good segue into XL and BY's relationship too! They have a very different relationship than XL and LQQ. XL was able to actually impart his beliefs on BY, who continued to always follow them, though unfortunately she turned out too similarly as well. I think it's a bit too far to say that XL was like a father to her, but I think moreso XL was a guardian and role model who was present in her life for a while. But XL was also very busy during that time as General Hua. No doubt he was stretching himself thin trying to protect people, taking care of his myriad of injuries, and trying to look after not only BY but the other kids as well (including Pei Su).

Naturally, BY herself is extremely different than LQQ. In every single way possible. But she also took what XL taught her and wanted to do the right thing for others. I think her seeing XL protecting other people -- though he often got hurt (and then later "died" for her) -- was really foundational. In both positive and negative ways. Positively because helping others is good, but negatively because XL was so self-sacrificing and that carried over to BY, too. Not to mention him getting trampled to death while saving her would have been traumatic to her, though it's not either of their faults. That's war. And later, when XL finally healed from that months later, it was too late for him to even attempt to find her again. (Especially since he floated away somewhere, and is absolutely cursed with directions lol!)

Still, it's clear that BY kept him in his heart and tried to follow his principles, even after death. I think she sees him now as a bit of a mentor figure, with a great deal of respect. From XL's side, he wanted to do more for her -- and probably also saw her as a beloved student of his -- but is ultimately just glad she is alright now.

Personally, I like to think they catch up from time to time when they are free, post-canon!

He Xuan and Hua Cheng:

I think these two are definitely along those lines, yeah. Basically begrudging allies. They aren't really friends, nor do they really want to be (alas), but they know it's mutually beneficial to work together. They give each other a large amount of leeway, but definitely collaborate on what they need to. HC can give HX resources, and HX is at the very least a reliable set of eyes in Heaven (all other supposed spies aside). They don't have any reason to work against each other, and if they work together, then they both get something out of it. Simple as that.

I think the best way to describe them is that they're like co-workers. Even if you don't necessarily like or agree with your coworker, you still work with them to get the job done. Maybe you'd share a meal or a drink with each other, make some small talk, but you aren't actually buddies and you aren't gonna hang out on the weekends.

However, I LOVE their dynamic a lot lol. This makes it sound a bit boring, but I think they have a very unique relationship. Interesting that they have a lot of similarities (which is why they can tolerate each other to begin with), but they're polar opposites in so many ways.

[isabilightwood]

The Problem With Authority - Chapter 2

[1] [AO3]

Jiang Yanli froze at the sound of Jin Guangyao’s voice. She was nowhere near ready to deal with him, much less the knowledge that they were technically married. She — and Qin Su — needed time before she could hope to successfully deceive him.

And she had seconds to figure out how they were going to get it.

She sniffed, loudly, hoping it would seem like she had only been standing there, crying silently. She tucked A-Xian’s notebook into her robes.

“Oh, A-Su, I miss him too.” Jin Guangyao sounded so genuinely sympathetic that she could scarcely tell the difference, even knowing what he’d done. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, and it was all Jiang Yanli could do not to flinch.

The way Qin Su was practically screaming in her head did not help. She would be little help, this confrontation coming far too soon.

What would a still ignorant Qin Su have done? Jiang Yanli didn’t yet know her well enough to say.

Jiang Yanli wiped her eyes as she turned in his arms, the skin around her eyes still tinted red from learning about A-Xian. That should help sell the ruse, even against a man so devoted to power he had married his own sister.

“I know,” She lied, sniffling again. “It’s just so hard, being here. I keep getting up to check on him in the night —” she didn’t actually know the name of the boy yet, which could be a problem if Qin Su remained incoherent — “And then I remember.”

“I know how you feel.” He said with a sigh. “I keep thinking it’s time to start teaching A-Song his first core formation exercises.”

“I think — I think I need to get away for a bit.” Jiang Yanli whispered.

“Perhaps that would be for the best.” He began rubbing her back, which made her want to sob. “Were you thinking of somewhere in particular?”

Her first instinct was to say Lotus Pier.

Gusu. The Cloud Recesses. Qin Su managed to say.

Of course. There was a healer there, who specialized in recovery from grief. If she were to go on a retreat for recovery, the Cloud Recesses were the logical place. But — A-Ling was in Yunmeng. Every moment away from him was a physical ache in her chest. How was A-Cheng managing, taking care of her son on his own?

He’s been doing fine raising him half the year for six years. Jiang Wanyin is A-Ling’s favorite.

Oh. Jiang Yanli’s heart swelled. It must be difficult, but A-Cheng was doing wonderfully.

It would seem strange if I went to Yunmeng, Qin Su admitted. Unless you want Jiang Wanyin to know?

Not yet, she had to confess. A-Cheng would be overwhelmingly happy to see her, but he would quickly spirit her away and rush off to reveal the truth. Without a scrap of evidence beyond second-hand testimony. Neither of her brothers had ever been logical, when she was even mildly insulted.

“Gusu,” She didn’t have to fake the choked sound of her voice. How long would it be before she could confirm with her own eyes that her son and her baby brother were alive and well?

Jiang Wanyin has A-Ling for the summer, about three more months.

An eternity.

Jin Guangyao’s smile wavered.

A- Lianfang-zun, Qin Su corrected herself, thinks I don’t know, but I noticed him pining after Zewu-jun long before we married. Zewu-jun was here for a week, after A-song — She broke off. He saw more of my so-called husband than I did.

“Why don’t you invite your erge back for a few days while I’m gone?” She suggested. “I know you’re busy, but perhaps he could spare a few days?”

“Thank you, A-Su, that’s very thoughtful.” His smile returned, only now she thought it might be genuine. “I could arrange for you to leave as soon as tomorrow, if that pleases you.”

“Yes,” She said quietly. “I would like that.”

As it turned out, Gusu Lan’s mind healer was useful to both of them for more than merely an excuse.

She had not known what to expect from a healer who specialized in injuries that could not be seen, but it was not Tan Wurui. He was a young man with round, expressive features who wore the plain forehead ribbon of outer disciples.

When he began their first meeting by offering her huamei, Jiang Yanli decided she liked him. Candy was against the rules, outside of festivals, but preserved plums were technically medicinal. She took one, with a carefully weak smile.

Sitting back on her heels, she tried to place why Tan-daifu looked familiar. Finally, she realized. They had been classmates, once. He had lived a few doors down from Jiang Yanli when she was a guest disciple, so he must have transitioned after her stay. He had been friendly and helpful, more likely to correct rules violations than to report them.

“Eat that if you need a moment to gather your thoughts, or you’re starting to feel overwhelmed.” He plucked a plum of his own from the bowl, rolling it between his fingers. “Now, to start, is this the first time you’ve dealt with loss?”

The answer for Jiang Yanli was no, of course. Grief had become almost a familiar friend, since her parents were killed. Yet it had stabbed her in the back as surely as the sword that killed her pierced her heart.

Her loss was different from Qin Su’s. Jiang Yanli’s son was still alive, if out of reach and grown from an infant to a boy in an instant. But she had not had the chance to mourn her husband when A-Xian was stolen as well.

She had no idea, however, whether Qin Su had. And Qin Su wasn’t sharing.

While Tan-daifu waited patiently for an answer that should have been easy.

Jiang Yanli prodded with mental fingers until Qin Su gave up the answer. My mother. But she was… it wasn’t the same.

“No,” She said aloud. “But not like this.”

Tan-daifu nodded. “Are you ready to talk about what happened?”

Qin Su had curled up in her mind since the conversation with Jin Guangyao. Unfurling slowly in fits and starts, only to shrink back at the wrong reminder. As she did then.

Jiang Yanli nibbled at her plum, the spiced sweet and sour flavor spreading across her tongue. As though in response to the flavor, Qin Su startled, cautiously peering out from her ball.

“I thought you might not be.” He offered her a serene smile. “For now, why don’t we discuss how you’ve been coping, and what your goals are in coming here.”

Jiang Yanli conjured descriptions of how she thought the courtiers of Lanling would have treated her, had she lived. It wasn’t difficult to imagine, considering how they had ingratiated themselves when she wasn’t vulnerable. Qin Su confirmed her suspicions, and added on, They wouldn’t let me do anything.

“I felt like I was drowning in Koi Tower.” She concluded. “I haven’t stopped feeling that way. However, there’s… less of him, here.”

Less of Qin Su’s A-Song, and less positive memories of A-Xuan, but more of A-Xian. Happy ones. The last time she could remember him being truly, uncomplicatedly happy.

“Locations can become heavily associated with certain people, or events. If coming here helps you feel a little closer to air, it was the right decision.” Tan-daifu said. “It sounds like you were trapped with your grief, through inactivity. You have not kept up even basic exercises with your sword?”

“The healers in Lanling told me I should refrain from using my spiritual energy.” She said carefully. While in the Cloud Recesses, Jiang Yanli needed to begin learning to use Qin Su’s sword. While Qin Su might not be renowned for her skills like the heroes of the Sunshot Campaign, she was known to be competent. Jiang Yanli could not avoid it forever, when Qin Su trained the disciples.

“Though Lanling Jin’s healers have released a number of revolutionary medicinal treatments recently, they have not yet understood the relationship between the mind and qi.” Though Tan-daifu kept his voice steady, he was no Lan Wangji. A tick in his cheek betrayed his disdain. “Excessive use while recovering could cause a qi deviation. However, light exercise helps rejuvenate the mind and keeps your body healthy and qi balanced.”

With Tan-daifu’s permission, Jiang Yanli was able to practice the Jin sword forms in the private courtyard of her guest house every morning. Twice a week, she met with him. Most of her time, however, was left to her own discretion.

Once Jiang Yanli adjusted to Qin Su’s body, she found that much of her skill had carried over into muscle memory. It was simply a matter of practicing until her mind adjusted to her body’s knowledge.

Cultivation, however, was far more complicated. Cultivation was linked to the spirit, not the physical body, and so Qin Su had to teach her, step by step, skills that junior disciples learned the year they received their swords.

She could not show her by doing. Though Jiang Yanli attempted to retreat within her mind, and allow Qin Su to take control of her own limbs, it seemed Jiang Yanli was firmly rooted within the body they now shared.

Qin Su wasn’t. If she strained, she could reach outward until, for an instant, look down and see her body from above before snapping back inside.

The teaching seemed to help Qin Su more than anything.

Why did no one teach you this? She snapped in exasperation, as Jiang Yanli struggled through the steps of directing her spiritual energy for donation. It was the strongest reaction she’d prompted in weeks.

I didn’t have enough to spare. My parents planned to send me to Dafan, to develop my core without the physical aspect. But by the time I was old enough, the sect had become an ordinary village. No other sect had similar techniques, so she’d had to rely on meditation, talismans, and her brothers.

Oh. You do now. From then on, Qin Su latched onto the teaching like a project. If it did not to make her less sad, it at least made her more responsive.

That would have been enough to keep them busy, but it was critical that Jiang Yanli memorize the changes in the Cultivation world. If she said the wrong thing to a sect leader, or Jin Guangyao, that would be the end. She read through the piles of official documents in the library, with more subjective commentary from Qin Su.

They started with the greatest risk: Qin Su’s family.

Father spoils me, but he still sees me as his baby girl. Jie — Qin Xifeng, the heir — was always busy. It’s Yi-ge we have to worry about. Qin Su explained, as she looked over records of how Laoling Qin’s trade had grown and alliances shifted after their Second Young Mistress became Jin-furen.

Ironically, Qin Xifeng was the only member of the Qin clan Jiang Yanli had met before, when she accompanied A-Xuan to the Sunshot Campaign. She’d found it funny, in retrospect, how awkwardly A-Xuan had interacted with her, considering none of his few close companions were men.

An ache rose in her chest as she remembered teasing him about it, on the night of his cousin Jin Huiqing’s wedding to Sect Leader Hua. Though distantly related, they were his favorite relative. A letter from Luo Qingyang had arrived the same day. Zixuan flushed prettily, and told her that was different. He hadn’t been able to think clearly, through the things Jiang Yanli did to his heart.

She’d grabbed the restraints and climbed on top of him, proceeding to reward her husband for being such a silly romantic. Zixuan had been certain that was the night A-Ling was conceived.

She missed him with her entire being.

Uh. Yanli-jie. Qin Su sounded pained. That’s my half-brother.

She winced. Given Qin Su’s history, that had to be much worse than the time Jiang Yanli had accidentally found A-Xian’s poorly concealed stash. Especially considering how unconventional their sex life had been. Sorry. I’ll work on trying to shield some of my thoughts from you.

Qin Su quickly returned to the original topic. Yi-ge is only a year older than me, so we’ve always been close. He’s been busy setting up the Laoling watchtowers lately, so hopefully we can avoid him until you’re better at acting like me.

Am I that bad? She asked.

Not for most people. But I’m his baby sister, and you’ve always been the eldest.

Jiang Yanli could see how that might be a problem. Are you more ‘A-Su is three’ or ‘go away Ge, no wait, play with me?’

Shock flared from Qin Su. Neither! I just whine a little and he pretends he’s going to say no. What are your brothers?

Damaged. While A-Cheng postured and yelled and hid how much he cared, A-Xian crafted a mask of harmlessness, hiding what he needed. Just as Jiang Yanli had. They hadn’t had much choice.

Qin Su’s silence was its own response.

From there, they moved on to other sects.

So the Luo Sect has climbed back into favor? Though Luo Qingyang had joined the Jin Sect in her youth, as was sometimes done to protect the heir of a minor sect against rivalry, her outspoken support of A-Xian and departure had driven her birth sect to retreat from Lanling. As a result, Jiang Yanli had never met Mianmian’s uncle or cousin, and so had no measure of their character.

The Sect heir is very… earnest. Lianfang-zun likes to surround himself with simple men. I used to think it was because they didn’t poke fun at his heritage. Her more recent conclusions were left unspoken.

Other changes were more startling. Not only had Tingshan He been absorbed into Lanling itself, but there were thirteen sects jostling for territory in former Qishan, most of them vassals to the Jin . Which made sense, as most of the sects had originated as single-town cultivation clans within Lanling. The Jin had been the only sect with cultivators to spare, and taken advantage of the opening.

Sects had only been beginning to spring up in Qishan when she died. Now, they were fully formed, squabbling and jostling for influence.

There was a seemingly endless amount of ground to cover, in the weeks in Gusu.

It surprised her, how little she saw of the main branch of the Lan Clan. During her last stay, she could not have thrown a stone without hitting one.

She had spoken with Lan Qiren only once, upon her arrival. He’d harrumphed and bid her the necessary welcome, and proceeded to ignore her existence. That suited her well enough.

Though Zewu-jun had been expected to return from Lanling a week into her stay, he had been called away to deal with a crisis for Nie Huaisang. That was another shock, Nie Huaisang as sect leader. A-Xian would have laughed himself silly. A-Cheng must be going spare.

Lan Xichen’s continued absence was fortunate. He, unlike any other Lan, knew Qin Su. Enough that he might notice a misstep.

It was Lan Wangji’s absence that concerned her.

If there was anyone who might have mourned A-Xian, it was Lan Wangji, but he was nowhere to be found. Not at meals, and not along the paths of the Cloud Recesses.

Hanguang-jun often travels these days, I’ve heard. Qin Su informed her, with an undertone of surprised curiosity. So he really was in love with Wei Wuxian?

They loved each other. Jiang Yanli had known long before either of them.

It was a shock, the one time she did see Lan Wangji.

On the afternoon Qin Su was ready to discuss her loss, Jiang Yanli knelt on the cushions across from Tan-daifu’s desk, a cup of perfectly brewed tea cooling before her. The usual bowl of plums sat between them.

Tan-daifu smiled pleasantly, waiting for her to begin. And Qin Su froze up.

“Perhaps if we take a walk?” Tan-daifu suggested, when she said nothing.

Tan-daifu led her to the back trails, along the river where Jiang Yanli’s breathing had once faltered as she searched for her brother, and A-Xuan caught her as she fell.

At least this time that’s romantic. Qin Su grumbled, the first thing she’d said since they entered Tan-daifu’s office.

Not really. She remembered how he’d left her behind, the harsh words he’d said.

They tell that story like you were star-crossed lovers kept apart by the Yiling Patriarch. But really, your husband was just being an idiot.

A-Xian punched some sense into him. Remembering the soup incident, she added, Twice.

After a pause, Qin Su hesitantly said, I think I’m ready to talk now.

The words poured from her like a dam had broken.

Jiang Yanli recounted Qin Su’s words verbatim, how she left for a meeting after putting A-Song to bed. How she was accosted the moment she entered the Fragrance Hall on her return. How she fought, desperately, to reach her son, even after receiving a gut wound. How Jin Guangyao arrived with guards, and she finally made it through. How she saw the body of the nursemaid first, sprawled in a pool of blood, and crumbled into denial when she realized her son wasn’t breathing. How she’d had to be sedated to receive treatment for her wound, and refused to believe it for days after.

The words tapered off, and stopped. Jiang Yanli took a plum from the bag Tan-daifu offered her, and popped one in her mouth.

The rest of it could not be shared. But to her surprise, Qin Su did not retreat entirely. She shrank back, but did not become unreachable.

“Thank you, for sharing.” Tan-daifu said. “Sometimes it helps, but only when you’re ready.”

His understanding silence was a pleasant relief.

On the way back, they came across a boy playing in a field of snow-white rabbits. Jiang Yanli stopped, watching with a longing that was not only hers.

She wondered if A-Ling liked rabbits, or if his jiujiu had allowed him to have a dog, as was a more traditional spiritual animal for a young heir.

Jin Guangyao has wanted to give A-Ling a spiritual dog for some time, but Jiang-zongzhu keeps saying no. No one knows why. Qin Su mused.

Oh, A-Cheng. He must be so lonely. Still keeping dogs out of Lotus Pier, as though A-Xian might come wandering back one day.

(And might he not? A part of her whispered, the thought too fleeting for Qin Su to pick up.)

Though she had no doubt A-Cheng had the loyalty of his sect, that the disciples he’d trained loved him and would die for him, he had never learned that letting someone in wasn’t weakness. Without A-Xian, without her…

She wished there was a way she could tell him he wasn’t alone, to hold A-Cheng and A-Ling in her arms, without risking Jin Guangyao piecing together the truth.

She must have made a noise, because Tan-daifu looked at her in concern, and the boy looked up. He set down the rabbit in his lap, and shooed away the others surrounding him with gentle, practiced gestures. Getting to his feet, the boy burst into a run.

When he reached them, he bowed. A model Lan, were it not for the blades of grass clinging to his robes. He was about ten, she thought, if a little short for his age. The cloud embroidery on his ribbon marked him as a member of the main clan. “Daifu! Are you here to play with the rabbits?”

So Lans aren’t born knowing all the rules, after all. Qin Su observed. I thought there might be truth to that rumor.

It was a good thing Jiang Yanli was already smiling.

“Not today,” Tan-daifu said. “Our little radish has already taken good care of them, I’m sure.”

The boy scrunched up his nose, and Jiang Yanli could have sworn it was identical to A-Xian’s. “I’m not a little radish anymore! And the rabbits always want more ear scratches. Will you play with the rabbits, guniang? They always make Fuqin happier when he’s sad, like you are.”

“I-” How insightful. His eyes were wide and pleading, the look of a boy practiced at getting what he wanted by convincing an adult it had been their idea. She would have caved, easily, if a man in white had not come running. He came to a stop, panting, by the boy’s side.

Panting, running, the collar of his robes out of place and his guan tilted out of center. Lan Wangji seemed so little like himself, and yet was unmistakable.

All in white, Jiang Yanli thought with a pang. He still misses him.

“Fuqin!” The boy cried happily, bouncing to grasp Lan Wangji’s leg.

Did you know Hanguang-jun had a son? She asked.

I had no idea. Qin Su was as shocked as she was.

“A-Yuan.” Hanguang-jun stooped to pick him up, a grimace crossing his face as he stood, though he should have been able to lift Lan Yuan with ease. “We have spoken about talking to strangers.”

There was open panic in his eyes, as he glanced at her. She’d seen that look before, when A-Xian was in danger, but never directed at her.

No. Not at Jiang Yanli, but at Madame Jin.

“Put me down! Bobo said you shouldn’t try to lift me anymore.” Lan Yuan squirmed, and was back on his feet. Strange, she didn’t think Lan Wangji had let him go. “And Tan-daifu is here! I wasn’t unsupervised.”

Lan Wangji glanced at her again, his expression back to its habitual blankness. But his distress remained almost tangible.

She bowed. “Hanguang-jun.”

He looked away sharply, taking his son’s hand. “Let us go. It is time for your guqin lesson.”

“Mn!” Lan Yuan hummed eagerly, allowing his father to lead him away, and began chattering about the rabbits. “I think Xiao Yun is going to have babies soon!’

As they walked away, she noted that Lan Wangji’s movements were slightly stiff. A far cry from the graceful Hanguang-jun she’d often glimpsed from afar, fighting back-to-back with A-Xian.

“My most sincere apologies, Jin-furen.” Tan-daifu turned to her and bowed. Before she could ask what for, he continued. “Lan Sizhui was adopted. Hanguang-jun is very protective.”

“I see.” She replied slowly, as her mind linked together implications at the rate A-Xian had jumped from idea to idea.

A boy named A-Yuan, adopted by Lan Wangji. Whose safety he worried about, even in his own home. She couldn’t help a smile, though it made Tan-daifu look at her strangely. It was good to know that one of those A-Xian tried to help had made it.

There was a child in the Burial Mounds? Qin Su was aghast.

Jiang Yanli allowed the recollection of her visit to Yiling to explain as she turned to Tan-daifu. “Is Hanguang-jun injured?”

“Ah.” Tan-daifu stared of down the path, his expression somewhere between regret and wistfulness. “It was brave of you to ask for help. Many do not, even here.”

Only a few days after her encounter with Lan Wangji, Jiang Yanli returned to Lanling. Though Qin Su would have benefited from more time with Tan-daifu, there was little more they could do from afar. The key to removing Jin Guangyao from his position was evidence. The only evidence she would find in the Cloud Recesses was gossip — and Lans did gossip, if less openly — about how frequently he bowed just so Zewu-jun would hold his hands.

Even Jin Guangyao had to slip up sometimes, as he had the day Qin Su learned the truth. Overheard conversations that lead to witnesses or evidence left by a less careful collaborator.

Upon her arrival, Jiang Yanli sent an invitation to Jin Guangyao for tea before she had so much as unpacked.

“I am pleased to see you looking so much better.” He dimpled, but without the usual eager-to-please act. Because he had no reason to think he needed to ingratiate himself with his wife. Or perhaps he was merely too exhausted, the dark purple bags under his eyes the only sign something was off.

“You still look tired, A-Yao.” Jiang Yanli held her sleeve out of the way to pour cups of scalding hot tea. “Was Zewu-jun called away too soon.?”

“Ah.” He demurred, tapping the side of his cup to test the temperature. “I am still having difficulty with a few holdouts. Our vassals have largely fallen into line, save Zhai Qiaoling,” Sect leader of the Baota Zhai, one of the westernmost sects that had formed out of Qishan, “But most of the independent sects are still resistant. My cousin has not yet convinced Hua-zongzhu, even.”

Sympathy for the loss of a child seemed to have worked wonders on the gentry’s approval. But not as much as he’d hoped, it seemed.

Good. That could only make the bait more tempting.

Jin Guangyao’s lips thinned into a flat line. “Apologies, my troubles should not interrupt your recovery.”

Jiang Yanli shook her head. “Actually, I wanted to speak to you about something related. About my role in the future.”

“Oh? If you need more time away, I would understand.” He took a sip of now-drinkable tea.

“It’s not that. In fact, I will go mad if I remain idle any longer.” She stroked the side of her teacup, a nervous gesture of Qin Su’s. “However, there is one duty I’m afraid I cannot fulfill.”

Jin Guangyao took her hand in his. Jiang Yanli did not snatch it back, though her skin crawled. “Please, A-Su. What is it?”

“I couldn’t bear to have another child.” She cast her eyes downward, blinking rapidly, as though to prevent tears from falling. Real tears would have been better, but anticipation was currently stronger than grief.

His shoulders fell as he exhaled heavily. Jiang Yanli read it for what it was: relief.

An innocent wife would not have. She snatched her hand back, to twist them together in her lap. “We have A-Ling to inherit, but I would understand if you want to take a second wife.”

“A-Su—”

She met his eyes, speaking more firmly, with a touch of irritation. “Please don’t insult me by implying I have not noticed you value my company, but not my body.”

“I would never.” Jin Guangyao tossed back his entire cup of tea at once.

Taking a smaller sip, she struck. “Or if you wanted to act on your feelings for Zewu-jun.”

He choked on his swallow, and Qin Su snickered. I’ve never seen him this off-balance. Not even when his father suggested he take remedial cultivation classes with the ten-year-old disciples. Keep going, this is amazing.

Jiang Yanli gently reminded her that the goal today was not to humiliate Jin Guangyao, merely to hand him a distraction in the form of the things he most desired. Nevertheless, she tamped down a rebellious corner of her mouth as she offered him a handkerchief. Jin Guangyao coughed into it, struggling to regain his composure.

“How did you —” His dimples twitched as he broke off, briefly at a loss for words. “Furen, I have been faithful to you. I am not my father.”

No, he was an entirely different kind of terrible.

“I’ve never doubted that. However, I’m not blind. I’ve seen the way you look at each other.” She smiled, reaching for his hand again. This time, he jerked back. “Please, A-Yao. I understand you have feelings for him. A discrete affair with one man, with your wife’s permission, would not be the same as your father’s promiscuity.”

“You really wouldn’t mind?” Jin Guangyao looked at her like she was offering him ascension, but he didn’t trust the offer. He was right not to, but he would take it anyway.

“I wouldn’t.” And that, at least, was true. “I find I have little interest in such things these days, but I respect that you do.”

He let out a heavy sigh, and closed his eyes, simply breathing for a moment. When his eyes opened, he gave a tremulous smile. “If you’re certain, thank you, A-Su. I will speak to him when he visits for the conference next month, then.”

“Speaking of the conference, I would like to be more involved in your projects, if you would be willing.”

“Really?” His mouth hung open, his eyes wide.

It thrilled them both, to know Jiang Yanli had managed to catch him off guard. Not once, but twice in the same conversation. “Your watchtowers are brilliant, and perhaps I could help to smooth the way. Not through public recognition,” she rushed to assure him. “But I am good with finance, and certain sects might be more interested to know  that Lanling’s income took a hit in your father’s final years, but has already recovered under your guidance if I am the one telling them. I believe Ran-zongzhu has been struggling to recover income from several years of bad harvests?”

“That —” His jaw worked, soundlessly, before he grinned. “That would be wonderful, A-Su.”

I didn’t know his face could do that. Qin Su said giddily. Maybe we can pull this off.

Jiang Yanli smiled sweetly back, her own mask impeccable.

[burstingchrysanthemums]

The Daily Task of Preventing My Disciple from Turning to the Dark Side Chapter Nine (Part 2)

Yue Ming Ze led the sect members in searching the forbidden area but they did not find any signs of an intruder. A cultivator of the Synthesis stage, is that person visiting friends? Who would believe that?

"Could it be that child was wrong?" An old man said doubtingly, stroking his beard."Not even a breath has been detected which is very strange."

"we need to ask elder Mu Chen about it."

Yue Ming Ze frowned. "Your sect master will personally investigate."

A middle-aged practitioner who was holding a fan, Zheng Xuan Su, laughed: "I have heard that Wan Jian sect wants Mu Chen to become dao-companions (TN: essentially a marriage), I do not know if the rumors are true?"

Zheng Xuan Su, according to the generational hierarchy, was indeed Mu Chen's brother but he was just an ordinary disciple while Mu Chen was an inner disciple. They had the same master but while Mu Chen was tutored in his master's special techniques, Zheng only learned the sect's general skills. The two's relationship is not good but also not bad. Mu Chen's temperament is such that if other people don't bother him, he is too lazy to talk to them.

Yue Ming Ze was embarrassed and said: "Although female cultivators are few and most do not care to get along with men, the union of masculine and feminine elements if the correct path although Shishu Mu Chen...well, after all, he is a man."

Although the marriage alliance between the Lofty Cloud Sect and Wan Jian (Ten Thousand Sword) Sect would make their relationship stronger, he has never thought that Mu Chen would ever marry. Moreover, Yu Tian Yi is already in the Immortalization Stage and after Ascension...Would Mu Chen be bullied?

Yue Ming Ze pulled a face, although he is unable to prop up the sect, he still wouldn't sell his martial uncle.

Zheng Xuan beat his hand with his folding fan, remembering the past, "Our master was also worried that when he ascended (TN: Ascension level means ascending to a higher plane) Younger Brother Mu Chen would be bullied. Master wanted to find a dao-companion for him but at that time Younger Brother Mu was in the Foundation Establishment Stage, so although master looked around for a powerful cultivator the difference in their levels would be too great. Master was never able to find a good match. This might be a good chance."

"That was before," said Yue Ming Ze gravely. "Now, there's no need for anyone else to protect him."

Zheng Xuan's hands paused and his face momentarily showed a bit of embarrassment. Alchemists were considered weak but he saw Mu Chen in the Assembly for the Trail. Now no one dared to consider him an ordinary alchemist. After a while, Zheng Xuan's expression became more normal and he said: "It would not be good for you to directly refuse this kind of thing. Perhaps you should ask Younger Brother Mu what he thinks."

Yue Ming Ze maintained his composure, sighing internally. Actually, what Zheng Xuan said made sense, he truly did not have the right to make the decision for Shishu Mu. All he can do is to seize the chance to present the proposal to him.

Yue Ming Ze hid his hand in his sleeve and once again used his fingers to calculate the probability that Mu Chen will be angry.

End Part Two

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Note: I am just finishing up this chapter. I held back this part because I wasn’t sure of two of the names. I’m still not sure but I want to just finish up this chapter.

[toezi]

KCON

Hello friends so I went to KCON this past weekend……… Here’s my story.

HELL ON EARTH i made a cute kcon vlog and made vanessa sit down with me for a kcon chat about the first day but its too long and do i have time to reedit that? No. so here’s my kcon experience my bros.

KCON DAY 1

Wowie so we had like p5 tickets so we kinda just walked around the convention. We sat in on Joan and Edward’s panel for a while and then we stayed for GoToe and Sunny’s panel and GOTOE IS SO CUTEEE I honestly only used my camera to record him he was…. Adorable. But the panel was so quiet and awkward bc of the language barrier and Sunny wasn’t even talking she was just quietly doing his makeup. And there were only… like 30 people there? It was interesting. Then we bought a few albums (Vanessa bought 2 svt albums and a poster and I got Eclipse and we got AL1 for a friend). We went to this photobooth where you could take a picture with a drama background and they had this wall to vote for your fave dramas and leads and INNOCENT DEFENDANT DESERVED BETTER IT HAD HARDLY ANY VOTES. Anyways we were in line for the picture and we chose the Strong Woman background. As we were walking towards the green screen for our turn we were cut by a bunch of Korean businessmen and they turned around and apologized “I’m so sorry. He’s the president of __” and we honestly didn’t hear what company we kinda blacked out from the shock of these men talking to us. Anyways we were at the green screen to take out picture and I motioned to the photographer like “I am going to pick her up like a baby” and his eyes got so big he was like “Y O U?”. now let me tell you, Vanessa is 5’8 and I am 4’8….. He was like “There’s not much time…. How long can you hold?” anyways we took the worst/best picture ever and he was not amused at all lmao he looked so done with us. So we sat down at food street to wait to be picked up and I opened my EXID album to look at it. Two girls were sitting at our table and were like “Did I hear EXID?” so we started talking about the gorls then they asked if we were here to see VIXX (I was wearing a VIXX shirt) and we were like “No, seventeen” and one had an epiphany and said “WAIT i have a seventeen audience pass” AND WE WERE BOUTTA CRY she only had one tho bUT she also had a red carpet pass so I Took svt and vanessa took redcarpet for $20 each (People had been selling them for $200….) AND WE WERE SHAKING SO MUCH it felt so unreal we were both going to SEE SVT and honestly Eclipse it… the bible… a sacred album tbh, blessed. Then we got some FOOD and ended up sitting with these 3 ladies and they liked my pants and BECAUSE THE LIKED MY PANTS they offered us a bunch of free passes!! They had like 2 oh my girl, 4 Astro, 2 SF9, 1 Kard audience passes and this was literally like 20 minutes later we were SHOOK. We took Oh My Girl and gave them to Mely and Vanessa :^) But honestly we went in expecting NOTHING and the day was so crazy Its been a few days and I still can’t believe how kind people are and how lucky we were it all feels like a dream.

KCON DAY 2

I MET KAYLA WHAT A SWEETIE HI KAYLA IF U SEE THIS UR CUTE AND YOUR DRESS WAS CUTE!! ALSO I MET MELY LIKE UUUHHHHHHHHH ITS BEEN 5 YEARS AND VANESSA DIDNT FIGHT ME THANK GOD. SO we didn’t have many workshops we were planning to attend so my Vanessa and I watched Mely and her Vanessa learn how to dance DWC and Mely was talking up how she wanted to do all these dance workshops AND SHE DIDNT EVEN TRY Mely u looked like a limp noodle. Vanessa was better than u. Then Vanessa and I got some food with Kayla and Sophia (HI SOPHIA NICE MEETING U) and we noticed that it was about 12:30 and the line for SVT’s artist engagement was already forming so we waited a bit and ate as we watched that damn line grow. We eventually got in line and waited for an hour in the sun and it was abuse KCON im suing u. But Vanessa waited TWO HOURS in her line for saturday’s red carpet but she’s got more melanin than me. AND we talked to some really nice people in line IDK who ya’ll are but I lvoe you!! Anyways. We were like? In the 3rd row in the audience and there were a few people letting me get in front of them because I’m TINY and one really nice girl who was just a bit taller than me was trying her best to help me get by tall people and she was so sweet I wish I could have thanked her a million more times ;-; So there were like 3 people from a fansite to my left that wouldn’t let me by (of course) and then THESE TWO LADIES who when we asked they just looked down on me and shook their heads AND THEY WERE SO EXTREMELY TALL I WAS EFFENDED. I didn’t tell anybody this but they were playing DWC mv and i actually almost cried bc after all that anticipation I thought I wasn’t even going to be able to see them and I was so hurt. BUT After a few minutes I decided it wasn’t worth being so hot to not even be able to see SVT so I went to the back and watched from the projectors and WOWIE were they beautiful. Everybody was screaming so much /literally/ the only thing I heard was Joshua say “number two!”. But Scoops was so bubbly and had such prominent dimples, Vernon was a sweetie pie, Blond Jun looks better irl, Mingyu: an angel, Jeonghan????? BEAUTIFUL and dainty he really did look like an angel, Joshua is fkn pretty boy nerd he was just happy to be in LA. DK was his sunshine self and Mingyu…… is so cute?? I wish I coulf give much more descriptions on all the boys but I didn’t have a very good view :^( But let me tell you…. Lee Jihoon…………….. The most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on like he honestly made it all worth it he’s absolutely drop dead gorgeous and I felt bliss amongst the chaos he’s truly a walking miracle on this earth. And omg he’s so tiny.

While we waited for Vanessa to finish the red carpet we got some bomb ice cream i loved that man. And OH BOY WAS VANESSA ZAZZED WHEN SHE RETURNED.

And now here are Vanessa’s thoughts about the red carpet: Ok so the red carpet was really GOOD but I was talking to the girls I met while waiting in line we all kind of agreed its kind of not worth it if you’re in the way bc fansites (I think I saw Jihoon’s fansite mintbreeze there). Also it was really cute seeing all the different fans there. I had a VIXX stan standing in front of me and she was just adorable. SF9 were really cute and one of them said “ITS LIT” before they left and I was like wow same. Donghae and I made eye contact for like 1 second and it was so awkward I had to look away. Cosmic girls were ADORABLE and Xuan Yi kept smiling and waving at fans which made all the fangirls scream and that made Xuan Yi smile even more. When VIXX greeted they greeted and all of them bowed except for Leo who had his hands together as if he was praying and I was like wow that is the most Leo thing i’ve ever seen. Girl’s day…. When I saw Minah’s outfit the girl I met while in line offered her hand for emotional support and i took it so fast bc oooooooh man I lost it. Minah kept posing so….. Suggestively like she knew what she was doing. Also I was super gay for Yura. When SVT came out ho boy I almost fell to the floor bc Jun was first and he was fcknin handsome and really tall????? Vernon is a work of art and Seungkwan is an actual baby. Mingyu was gorgeous I legit couldnt take my eyes off him man. I witnessed Wonwoo be a meme. He just looked at Minghao and had his hand on his shoulder, nodded a few times and looked away and Minghao just laughed to himself. Woozi saw some girls next to me who kept going crazy for him and I could tell he tried so hard not to laugh out loud and looked kind of embarrassed or shy about all the fangirling they were doing for a few seconds it was so cute. But tbh out of everyone except for Mingyu and Jun, Woozi kind of stood out to me the most. He was just so?????? Unique looking??? Idk how to explain it but he was beautiful. Chan was almost the last one to leave the stage bc he kept waving at the fans and doing the finger heart thing and he just looked so happy :’)))) Like Jun had to push his arm a little to make him go forward since Chan was the second to last. Also I had my banner up while they were about to leave and I saw Woozi look up a bit when I did and did a half-smile laugh mainly bc of the way I was holding it and doing a :| face ya know what I mean. So he basically laughed at me and it was an honor.

So the concerto. He was a good man. The venue wasn’t as huge as I thought it was going to be so our seats actually felt really close! Preshow: Of course Jun Curryahn was a good man when isn’t he. Then Korean Effects did some BEATBOXING and he was SO GOOD I felt the bass of that man’s voice in my chest. A girl that I do not know the name of came and sang blood sweat and tears to his beatboxing and that was the first time that night that Vanessa turned to me and screamed “IM SO GAY”. The show: Leo and Minah sang a song from Lalaland and it was beautiful. THEN JOSH VERN AND MINGYU came out as the MC’s and I was SHOOK I didn’t expect those boys. I don’t know SF9 but they were good I was amazed they got the stunts! Cosmic Girls were OF COURSE adorable and amazing. Then the screen was showing 17’s intro and we were like “OH SHIT BOY” but THEN it said “special unit performances” and we SCREAMED We didn’t think they would perform unit songs!! It was sad seeing Swimming Fool without Hosh but they did very well those boys. Habit OF COURSE WAS AMAZING I CRY THINKING ABOUT HOW I ACTUALLY HEARD THOSE ANGELS. And OHHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYY the day came. As soon as the first notes of Check in played Vanessa and I held on to each other and started screamiING. Check in is oUR JAM OOOOOOHH YEAHH. Then Girls Day performed and they were T H E hottest group there honestly these girls were RUDE. During their stage vanessa informed me 3 more times how gay she is. She was so angry at Minah for doing that^™. Then Cosmic Girls performed I Need U (boy) and SF9 & Cosmic girls performed Sorry Sorry AND GUESS WHO WAS NEXT THE KINGS EUNHAE. Now let me tell you a story. Super Junior was the first group I ever learned and I became friends with Vanessa and Mely because of them. Oppa Oppa? Vanessa and I have been dancing to that for 5 years and u bet we went HARD when they performed that. I’m still so angry that Eunhyuk made us say “LA oppa”. AND THEY PERFORMED I WANNA DANCE I WANTED THEM TO PERFORM IT BUT I DIDNT THINK THEY WOULD SINCE IT WAS A JAPANESE TRACK!! But the whole time they performed I was screaming about how much I hated their hair. Then Vixx performed and I could tell that a lot of fans were there for them (as well as Eunhae) they got the loudest screams. HYUKS ENGLISH WAS SO CUTE I HAD TO HOLD VANESSAS HAND MY BABY BOY. Im really lowkey glad they didn’t perform chained up tho I was blessed that night. And then………...it was SVT’s stage. I had no idea they were the headliners and OH BOY did those boys rock it. There was one VERY RUDE FOCUS ON JIHOON DURING DWC AND I CRIED INTO VANESSAS SHOULDER. I never didn’t think I was going to scream during this concert… but wow did I surprise myself. Even Vanessa was like “WOah”. But SVT performed a super sick remix of Rock and AND they had a little random play dance time which tbh they didn’t even try that hard but then they shot some tshirt cannons and I saw Jihoon rush over for one and honestly I was terrified for my life. He exudes such a different aura on stage that Jihoon really is “El Woozi”. AND HE STANDS WITH ONE HAND ON HIS HIP BOY WHAT IS THAT SASS FOR. During their ment Boo was being his lil Diva self he was so funny and Dino……. A man? He was so handsome I can’t believe. And Minghao got so many screams I was so proud and happy he deserves them all!! Really all the boys Looked amazing and performed so well I could go on for hours. I heard Seungkwan do the Boo airhorn sound effect and i shed a single tear. Dino was so stunningly handsome like??? He really actually does look older than Mingyu he does not look like the youngest at all what are they feeding him. At one point Vernon was like “Wow Josh, I can tell why you hype up your hometown so much” And JOSH gave him THIS LOOK it was so funny he looked offended, disgusted, and sassy I don’t even know who that man is. Good news: I personally caught no signs of butt touching but I /could/ have missed something. But really the whole concert was absolutely amazing, even if you don’t know all the groups the stages are all so great and I think it was just an excellent concert overall. And the next day we dropped off Mely and Vanessa at 11 for their Oh My Girl audience.. That started at 11. Im sorry Chicas but I’m glad u made it in time. ANYWAYS this has been my kcon experience I had a very good time and TBH I would probably consider going again if Seventeen never fkn comes to california.