#actually yeah im saying fuck it. i dont need her. she doesnt bring joy or love when we hang out and im tired of her policing my words

[southislandwren]

am i crazy for being a little pissed off at my friend. she asked me to come water her plants while she's out of town for a week. she lives with TWO other people and i live 15 minutes away in a different fucking town, and i work another 15 minutes in the opposite direction (hint: it is extraordinarily out of my way and a pain in the ass to water her plants). Also they're plants?? 1 week without water isn't going to kill them???? just water them heavily right before leaving and again as soon as you get back. argh im just feeling like a piece of meat thats available to her to use for any stupid purpose

[crushedsweets]

OK I NEED TO CLEAR MY ASKBOX

IM JUST GONNA ANSWER A TON OF THEM HERE SO I DONT CLOG UP MY FEED....

hi >.<

this is so fucking sweet i remembered how happy i was when i first got my car. i cried everyday for a week straight because i was so happy. very glad yall got to watch me get my first car. i spend over an hour in her every day commuting now. LMFAOOO (i named her lindsay btw) ((after tdi lsinday)). im so sorry im late but thank you so much this meant sm !!! <3

you asked me this in august im evil oh my god. anyway i aagree. but i am always inclined to forever think he's a midwest emo guy. twin sized mattress forever

SHE NEEDS AND DESERVES SO MANY.

im immediately inclined to say clocky or toby the second i see time and fire mentions. so ticciwork. my clocky is often a bit messy so she'd be pissed and angry and upset over the sort of war she's found herself in, especially as she sees toby just falling deeper into it. 'my god, was i oblivious?' when she finally realizes toby will always, always put Slenderman before her. frustrating. 'hell stays hungry for a world so weak' natalie is hungry for a good world, but she thinks everyone is too weak for goodness, meanwhile toby is hungry for power so he can make everyone else seem weak. etc. 'they only want you to bleed' they being slendy, operator, zalgo, etc etc etc... power, being a pawn, fighting, using humans as toys in a battlefield, etc etc.. yeah

RELEASE ME JOEY

i genuinely think nina is a really good influence on so many of the creeps. like theyre all assholes, traumatized, refuse to believe in the good in the world, etc etc. but nina is traumatized and still kickin. she comes in like ^_^ hello chat. and i think that, while its still important to feel the shitty feelings, it's really grounding to see someone whos just so .. able to be happy. idk. someone who SEEKS joy, rather than expects it to fall into their lap, and blames the world when it doesnt

this si perfect idk why i forgot about bats for him. gotta get back into this idea

AHHH OK I WILL DO MORE EVENTUALLY i just wanna say thank yewww i think theyre such a good sibling dynamic. like little brothers and big sisters and both being little assholes to eachother but would die for the other. idk. ugh. important to me.

actually this sounds really sweet..... thats funny cuz i was JUST talking to a friend about who i would have EJ go endgame with if i had to, but i couldnt settle on anyone. but liu seems like a good fit for ej. i think they'd be super sweet

ANON ME TOO AHHHH ITS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING EVER. I DONT GAF ABOUT EVIL MEAN 'CANON' SLENDER I LOVE WHEN HE'S A DAD AND WORRIES AND STRESSES. IEPFB AND KASTOWAYS SLENDY>

AH THANK YOU!!! he reminds me of my little cousins HAHA theyre like 10-14 right now and theyre all cuties.... just playing roblox and being mischievous...

THIS IS ABOUT THE BLUSHING NAT DRAWING ISNT IT AHAH OMG THANK YOU!!! i think shes so cute. i know she cant handle compliments. she's either deadpanned 'thanks' or just covers her face and says 'shut up' cuz she doesnt know what to do.

I LOVE HER TOO!!!

GOOD NEWS THEN ive drawn her a handful of times since u sent this HAHA TYSM

you sent like... natobina i think... ok tbh kinda slaps

OK REAL but also when i read it i keep reading it as 'cochina' and i cannot bring myself to name the throuple that </3 HAHA

TBH AHAHA I SEE IT. TOBYS AMETHYST GARNETS NATALIE AND NINA IS STEVEN.

i want jeff to ache in his loneliness

i need to draw connie asap but also THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THE CAR CONGRATS I REALLY APPRECIATE IT IM SO HAPPY I LOVE MY CAR SO MUCH i gotta go vaccuum her..

shes such a cat to me. feline. of sorts, if you will

also good news for you anon, i have also drawn her an ungodly amount of times since youve sent this. LOL

THEYRE MY ANGELS I HAVE MORE OF THEM !!! I LOVE THEM!! AHHHGGG

literally the second that people tell me i made them start to like clocky i am overwhelmed with joy. i feel so much ache when people aren't fond of her bc shes so fucking cool and such a good character and so much fun. so sad that 2015 era creepypasta fandom destroyed her. but im here to fix it...

IM SORRY ANON I BARELY DRAW HIM HES JUST SO BOYISH I LAUGH EVERYTIME I SEE HIM FKAHAHAAH OK OKOK ILL CHANGE ILL DRAW HIM I SWEAR

I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST STARTED DOING EMOJI ANONS BAHAHA u guys r funny

incredibly. happy. to do this to u.

nope! im not too interested in the 2021 nina just cuz i feel like i've seen that character concept many times (not just in jane), BUT if i had to do my own intepretation of her, 2021 nina would be INCREDIBLY immature in like. not a childish way, but an entitled, angry-fueled adult who cannot comprehend anyone else's thoughts/feelings. and thus, would despise OG nina (although within reason, OG nina idolizes the person who killed her family) . but even if there wasnt a good reason to dislike OG nina, she'd be mean. and OG nina would be mad and bitch. and theyd theyd fight. HAHA

I-IF...???????? ANON?

HELD TO THE FUCKING BRIM

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

Me? Combine two soulmate AUs and add in an animal hybrid AU????

Of courze, buckle up buddies this is gonna be a bit if a bumpy ride

Dream soulmate/soulpairs AU/Soulmate Ribbons AU/Animal Hybrid AU

Dream: Basically like last time you cant control when you visit, you cant see them, you cant say your name or where you're from. But this time its a legit group dream. In the dream your soulmate(s) will have a ribbon around them apposed to the simply blurred soulpair(s)

Ribbon/animal hybrid: with the ribbon au it ties in with the animal for the most part. You're born with a ribbon tied around your animal feature, whether it be at the base of a fluffy wolf tail, the end of a cat/lemur tail, at the base of cat ears/bunny ears, on any type of horns. Regardless of where it happens to be tied, it cannot be removed, it can be burnt or singed but it cant be cut or removed. The color of your soulmates nation appears after you meet your them, and you can then see the color of yours around them during dreams

So basically Zuko's 12th birthday he goes to sleep and in his dream there are three people with one surrounded by a pale white ribbon.

"H-hello?" He called out.

"Hi!" A cheery voice called out

"Im assuming you're all.. not my soulmate, because I'm 8" a slightly annoyed young girl called

"Your a soulfriend for me!" A chipper Boys voice broke through, the voice of the bright figure

"Uhm, I know I can't know your names, but I'd like to be able to distinguish between all of you... uhm,"

"Call me Bandit" the younger girl called out

"You can call me Oshi"

"And uhm..."

"I'll call you turtleduck" zuko interrupted him

"What? Why that?"

"Uh, well, I have a turtleduck pond by my home and I like it there, and uh, your my soulmate so..."

"Oh! Uhmm... what should I call you?" The boy paused a moment

"Sunshine? Maybe?"

"Yeah! Sunshine!"

"Alright, so, Bandit, Oshi, Turtleduck, and Sunshine?" Oshi piped in

"Yeah," bandit hummed "by the way, whats a turtle duck?"

"Ill show you one whe-"

"Im blind"

"What? Oh, im sorry, I didnt know. Well, if we ever meet I'll let you hold one. I'm sure it'll get the idea across."

"Youre blind?! That sounds so cool! I bet your other senses are heightened" Oshi chirped at the thought

"Yeah, and so is my bending! I can see with me bending, but im not too good at it yet"

"You're a bender? I dont know if we can find out what kind" Turtleduck mused

"Let me try... im an earthbender!"

"Woah! Cool! So you use earthbending to see?" Zuko questioned

The rest of the dream was fairly blurry to him. He ran to his mom to talk about his dream, going on about Oshi, Bandit and Turt; he shortened turtleduck because well, he wanted to.

They dont meet up until later that year, after his mother had left him he was found crying

"Sunny?" He heard Bandit call out

"Huh!? Oh hey guys, sorry, im fine" he sighed "I- I lost my mom just last week"

They all comforted him and then pulled the conversation to different topics, Turt talking about going hunting with his dad and getting hit wolf tail caught on a fishing line. Bandit talked about her earthbending and how she learned how to use her badger tail to bend as well. Oshi all the while hovered as close as the dream would let her, it felt similar to a motherly protection and he appreciated it greatly.

The next time they saw eachother was about two nights after his banishment he was found pouting but quickly came out it the pout when he heard Turt calling out

"SUNNY! Sunny! Hi! Oh Tui! Hi Bandit! Hi Oshi!"

"Hey Turt!" The girls called out "Sunny, whats got you down?"

He sighed "i left the firenation today"

"Woah woah, hold on, why did you leave- oh were you from there? Why would you leave?" Oshi pried.

"Uhm, I was banished for losing an agni kai against my dad"

"An Agn- thats a firebending duel! Your still just 13!" Turt cried out

"Yeah, well, my dad doesnt care about that, he made sure I'd remember that by burning me, now i have to find the avatar before I can return home"

Their conversation lasted for what felt like several blurry hours. When he woke it was to Iroh walking in with some tea. Zuko shot up and managed to get his blanket caught in his horns "AAAGH!" He growled out "help... please" iroh simply chuckled and untangled the blankets from Zuko's horns

"How was your sleep nephew?" Iroh asked as he started to pour them some tea, handing Zuko his cup.

"I talked to Oshi, Bandit and Turt again" he mumbled while bringing the cup to his lips and blowing some of the steam away.

"Thats good, were you able to discuss your banishment? I'm not sure if the dreams will let you, my soulmate and I have never met nor have we ever left our nations"

"Yeah, I was able to tell them everything, well the banishment and" he motioned to his now healing eye wound.

They had met a few more times over the next three years, Oshi revealing that she has a lion tail that is most certainly not as clumsy as Turt's consistently caught wolf tail.

About a week after Zuko arrived at the southpole and managed to lose the avatar there was another dream

"Sunny!" Turt sounded angry

"Uh, y-yeah?"

"You visited my tribe today" the ribbon around Turt was red

"Oh, uh yeah, I'm sorry. Did I hurt someone, I wasn't trying to, I just needed to grab the avatar"

"YOU DONT NEED THE AVATAR SUNNY!" Turt was fuming "youre chasing the avatar for what? The love of an abusive father?"

"Hes no-

"He is Sunny! I dont know the full extent of it. But if he broke your horn, burnt you, and then BANISHED YOU all for speaking out of turn, then that spells abusive!! That level of abuse and your level of wanting to be back says clearly that you were neglected and abused, what the FUCK Sunny!"

Zuko was frozen but it wasnt silent

"We've been trying to tell you this Sunny, your dad is terrible and you deserve actual love, your uncle is a much better dad than him, and you know it" Oshi piped up

"Yeah, I know but-"

"And! If I ever get my hands on him, it'll be his last day alive. Mark. My. Words" Bandit cracked her knuckles

The dream went on for a while longer with the trio eventually convincing Zuko he shouldn't search for his fathers love by capturing the avater. Turt managed to convince him to join forces with the avatar the next time he saw them. The next time he met up with the avatar was on Kyoshi Island, where he entered the town without his armor or helmet, and instead wearing casual garmets.

"What are you doing here Zuko?" Katara growled at him with the hairs on her tail standing on end. Aang was behind her with his lemur tail flicking angrily.

"Well, im not here to capture you if that's what you think. I came to join you"

"Why would we ever believe that?" Aang's voice was nearly as angry as Katara's

Sokka was beside Katara in a similar stance but had yet to respond

"Well, I honestly don't expect you to believe me, unless any of you happen to be Turt, Oshi or Bandit." He paused "look I was burnt and banished at 13 by my own father just for speaking up in a war meeting about how cruel it was to sacrifice new recruites for a bigger win, and my father sent me out to find the avatar." He sighed "i would have continued but Turt and Oshi managed to help me understand where I was wrong in thinking and made me see just how abusive my dad is"

"Sunny?" Sokka finally spoke but was matched with one of the Kyoshi warriors

"Huh? I mean, yeah they call me that, wait are you Turt?" He then turned to the warrior and saw the lion tail "Oshi!?" He stepped back in a moment of surprise.

"Oh my gods Sunny what the hell!" The wolf and lion laughed

"Wait, Zuko is the Sunny you've been talking about!?" Katara and Aang said in unison.

From there out Zuko was a part of the team. Suki having to stay behind for the time being. The group traveled via Appa or by boat. Katara, Sokka and Iroh having lengthy in depth conversations about waterbending and pai sho. He may or may not have been making an attempt to recruit them both slowly but surely.

When they met Toph she put two and two together so fast. "You're Sunny and Turt!" She exclaimed before they duo could introduce eachother

"Wait! Bandit!" Thay said in unison

"The one and only Blind Bandit!" She said proudly.

After meeting with her Zuko became acquainted with a chaotic good type younger sister as apposed to his own chaotic evil. Toph would often launch herself into his shoulders, grab his horns and say "onward noble dragon steed!!" Which he didnt mind so he never complained much.

Let's fast forward to the desert. While Sokka Aang and Katara went into the library to explore, Zuko and Iroh stayed behind with toph to protect Appa, when the Sand benders arrived while the Library was sinking the two firebenders fought off the sandbenders until the trio emerged and they ran off. Zuko, however had fought practically tooth and nail to keep appa there, dodging sand and blasting fire to distract the benders when they tried to use the sand beneath his feet against him. He collapsed from the exhaustion of not only fighting with a dozen benders in their element, but also the heat of the sun. Iroh on the other hand asked Katara for a bit of water to make sure he didnt collapse as well.

"Zuko!" Aang cried out when he watched Zuko collapse in the sand. They all got back on Appa and made their way out of the dessert.

Not long after they stopped at a small body of water to rest and wash up Appa so he wouldn't be shedding and attracting anyone Zuko taking a hot minute to get his strength back. They were approached by a couple who happened to have a baby on the way and Zuko nudged Aang "we should take them with us, yknow, spread some joy"

So they flew the couple with them to Ba Sing Se with them. They managed to get in to tell the earth king their invasion plan, as well as taking down the dai li with the proof of the drill right outside the wall. Without having the advantage of the Kyoshi disguises Azula didnt manage to gain the upperhand against Ba Sing Se, and in turn she had no idea about the invasion plan. Aang had his crisis at Ember island before the invasion and met the lion turtle just before they had to leave.

When the invasion began Zuko and Aang both went off to the city, Zuko in his blue spirit get up with his swords on his back literally being dangled in the air by Aangs weirdly strong ass tail. When the landed on the roof, it was still a bit until the fire kicked off. So they were dodging fire balls while running towards the palace, however right before they went into the throne room Azula appeared. She went to shoot fire but was shocked to see no fire come out. Aang smirked and bended the earth around her to keep her in place.

They went in to Ozai, Zuko drawing his swords and Aang readying himself to fight a powerful bender who possibly had skills other than bending. But they were met with a practically powerless man who didn't take long to defeat, taking his life wasn't the option, however, Aang knew that, and so he took his bending away, to the absolute awe of Zuko who watched the blinding light for a moment before shielding his eyes.

After the success of the invasion Iroh took the throne when Zuko told him he was simply not ready. However Iroh made a deal with him, he would be firelord for all of 5 years, set the ground work for Zuko and let his nephew take up some studying in the other nations as well as his own to figure out how he would rule after the 5 years were up.

And he did, he gathered as much information from the other nations, all with Sokka joining with him. He spend a year at the south pole, helping rebuild the place, he spend a year at the northpole studying the scrolls available, he spent a year going to each large earth kingdom city, and then he spent his fourth year in the firenation reading every scroll he could. One night while in his room reading through a pile of scrolls he leaned onto Sokka's shoulder for support, but Sokka took the scroll out of his hands "alright enough reading for you tonight, come on little dragon its bedtime"

Sokka's tail was absentmindedly wagging side to side as he helped his soulmate undress and get into more comfortable clothes, of course getting the cloth stuck on those pesky horns a couple times. But soon they were both laying in bed with Zuko resting his cheek against Sokka's chest while Sokka ran his fingers through his hair.

They could stay like this forever. And wouldn't you know it, after Zuko took the throne he proposed to Sokka and the two were soon married, the Wolf and the Dragon.

At the wedding Toph and Suki were the first to show up, bringing gifts, Suki gave them a pair of gold fans, one with a turtleduck on it and the other with a sun on it. Toph on the otherhand had brought a dagger with a dragon carved on the blade and a wolfs head on the handle.

>another marraige wrap up? Of course, its me what else would I do?

[histeetharenotsoft]

honestly i have no idea how i’m supposed to make it to ep 165

because 162 killed me, like 3 times

spoilers below the cut!

ITS GERRY!!!!!! MR KEAY I MISS YOU

but this is the first time we’ve actually Heard him, not secondhand or with spooky ghost echo, just as a normal voice on a tape. and i just want to hug him so much because ohhhh boy he has no idea what’s going to happen and also i am love him

“do i get to hear them?” “perhaps. if you live long enough.” shut up gertrude shut the fuck up don’t just mention gerry dying so casually its Rude

hmmm i might write a fic where jon, sasha and gerry are somehow all the archivist because I Can Do What I Want

ooo here we have more fire in the archives foreshadowing

did. did gerry’s chair scrape when gertrude raised her voice. like he flinched. someone hug this man

and then his voice goes all quiet when gertrude is lecturing him and Mary Keay Can Catch These Hands

“you are occasionally useful despite your foolishness” wowwww gertrude. what glowing praise. don’t just say that to his face come onnnn

but “useful” though. “useful”. i know we already know gertrude is an ‘ends justify means’ type character but goddamn if that isn’t just a perfect description of her relationships with people: categorised by their use to her plans and nothing more

“the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the archive” gertrude definitely knows about the tunnels lets be real. she’s just protecting jurgen leitner stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner goddamn fool book collecting dust eating rat old bastard shithead idiot avatar of the whore

what i wouldn’t give for gerry to have canonically beaten up jurgen leitner more than once. that’s going in my triple archivist fic

“what happens if we fail” oh. oh no. oh no whats gertrude going to say

“i suspect death puts us beyond their power” hmmm. seems like a fair point but i feel like the end would come up with some fuckery because this universe is a bastard and doesn’t let anyone get the rest they deserve. this isn’t really important to the plot (at least I Hope Not) but the thought of eldritch fear gods being able to reach us after death... chills

“[actual death] is preferable to lingering in a world they control” oh no that’s not good for jon to hear

“they might even stop death entirely.” hmmm. HMMMMMM

“and taxes?” “taxes i imagine will continue” hell yeah jonny get his ass (’him’ being capitalism). also i know the coronavirus lockdown isnt exactly an apocalypse caused by eldritch fear gods forcing themselves through into our world, but considering the shit thats been going on? yeah i imagine taxes would continue

“could it be undone?” “no, i don’t think so” oh no. oh no jon. jon nooo. he’s just playing it over and over and god he must be feeling so guilty and helpless. he also gets a hug. and another. and then three more. then one more but it lasts for like an hour before i have to phase back into my own dimension

TIM AND SASHA i’m still not prepared to hear their voices i love they

sasha is so competent she’s incredible and i am in awe of her

hell yeah tim is drinking his respect woman juice

“jimmy magma. joany magnum? jack magnet” asjdfhakjfhakjhfk tim you’re the best

“what if we kill him” Fuck Off Jonny You Can’t Do That

SADHJA WAS GOIJNG YO QUIKT I AM SJDFHKJLASLKFDJGKSDJHF

holy fuck we got canon timsasha. also “you’re not the love interest”??? sasha was a lesbian. source: me, also a lesbian. who can Do What She Wants

“you might be the character they drop after the pilot” sasha no dont say that!!!! as the character who was dropped after the pilot (ok season not episode but still) i have determined that is Illegal. and yes i know sasha was killed off for entirely valid reasons and not just dropped but shhhh i am hurting

“i dont have anything keeping me here” oh sasha. oh you sweet summer child. i wish that was the case. i really do

oh hey sasha knew about tim’s brother? martin told tim about his CV? THE S1 ARCHIVE STAFF WERE FRIENDS AND I MISS THEM A LOT BECAUSE GODDAMMIT THE S3/4 STAFF DIDN’T FOUND-FAMILY LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO

“no such thing as the real you”? “it’s all just masks”??? jonny stop stop im already dead you dont need to kill me again

(god i fucking hate that i get the stanislavsky bit. i only did drama gcse but the exam was terrible because none of the exam board’s practice questions were even anywhere close so no one was prepared and i spent so long revising all these pointless notes on how to answer the difficult questions and i regret it So Much and any reminder of that fucking bullshit exam i had to do Fills Me With Rage

“if you get eaten alive by improperly filed statements, me and martin will avenge you... we’ll burn this place to the ground.” god i am in pain. not only do we have more archives arson foreshadowing but we also have this line that hits like a punch in the gut because they didn’t avenge sasha, did they?

“i find it highly unlikely this sasha ever even existed at all” “i’m unforgettable” shut up shut the fuck up is this allowed? IS THIS ALLOWED???? because it fucking shouldnt be. it’s murder jonny time lads!!!

is. is jon crying. oh no

and then he gets fucking posessed by the cabin?? i love how the format of the statements has changed its very interesting

The One You Love The One You Love The One You Love

jonmartin are so in love that even eldritch fear cabins can’t not see it. jonny really said “you can read their relationship as platonic... but i am going to do my goddamn best to make that hard for you” huh

and fuck, this statement. it’s so creepy and i love how we cant distinguish which entity it is, because does it even matter any more? the list of 14 was a human creation anywhere, i think the ‘different parts of a body’ metaphor l*itner used is makes more sense now. it doesn’t matter which part of the body is attacking you, it matters that you’re being attacked in the first place so figuring out which part it is isn’t really a priority any more

but i think it’s mostly stranger and spiral? i also get very vague corruption vibes from the description of the planks because “they are warmer, softer and more yielding than the timber they present”? ugghhhh. corruption has often been associated with this kind of ‘wrong’ warmth (think jon amherst) and it also brings to mind that episode where the guy nails meat all over his walls and the rot makes the statement giver’s ceiling collapse. but then there’s the lonely there too, because yes jonmartin have each other but jon says it himself: “it will not let you feel the warmth of joy this love may claim to gift”. just try tell me the concept of being unable to find happiness in love isn’t Lonely, even if it’s not entirely true

but yeah basically i love the merging of entities present in this creepy statement

“our tomb” huh. the pov changes here, it’s gone from talking about jon in second person, to talking as jon in first person. so if jon wasn’t possessed by SpOoKy CaBiN like i thought (because if he was, why would he suddenly switch like this? it doesnt make sense)... then what was making that statement? my instinct is to say it was The Archivist or rather, The Archives talking about jon but like a separate personality, which... yikes

“[this will be] my chrysalis. it is time that i emerge.” monster jon? monster jon. this line gave me chills because damnnnn i love me some good eldritch!jon

“i wanted to leave and hunt down elias” hell yeah jon go and brutal pipe murder that bastard its what you deserve

martin has packed bags already and he brought tea and i love him so muchhhhh

and jon’s smile is AUDIBLE he loves martin so much my tiny heart can’t handle it

“we got this.” “apparently so 😍 “ just tell me you can’t hear the heart eyes in jon’s voice. oh wait. you cant

LET MARTIN BURN SOMETHING ITS WHAT HE DESERVES

“we can’t fight the world, martin” “says you” afkjhasfkjhadkjghdakjghakdgf

to summarise:

get ready for me to type out the same summary for all 40 episodes because jesus fucking christ. jonny’s writing never fails to make me Feel All The Emotions at once. i give this one a spooky sentient cabin out of 10

[lesbianrobin]

Im dying to know, do you have any holiday-themed Steve, Robin, Party, etc. headcanons?

god you KNOW i do!!! first of all i celebrate christmas and i dont rly know anything about other holidays this time of year so im just gonna... work on the assumption that they all celebrate christmas, but if anyone who doesnt celebrate or celebrates something else wants to reblog and add their own hcs i encourage it!!! okay this is gonna be so scattered but:

steve never really liked christmas very much. it was always just stressful and he hated having to spend time with his family and he always got like the most generic expensive boring gifts from his parents and it just wasn't really fun... the first christmas he really got into it was the christmas he spent with nancy and after they broke up, he was like oh christmas just fucking sucks!! but then...

that next christmas dustin invites him over for christmas eve and he brings a pie that he bought from the grocery store and claudia thanks him a million times and he wishes that he'd baked it himself so he didn't feel so guilty

dustin gives him a little baseball bat ornament and claudia is like "oh i thought you played basketball!" and steve is like "oh uh i do but i like baseball too :)" and he and dustin kinda smile at each other and steve ruffles his hair and they watch rudolph on tv and steve is like oh christmas.... is good......

speaking of dustin he always starts thinking about christmas gifts in like october but somehow ends up with absolutely nothing on december 20th and he has to run around in a panic finding gifts for the party

he drinks hot chocolate like a maniac... he doesnt drink water the entire month of december it's hot chocolate or it's nothing

hes one of those people who will say "come on it's christmas!!!" on like the tenth

lucas is one of those people who will say "no asshole it's december tenth"

lucas loves christmas!! he just thinks that it's a day and not a whole fucking month!!! he thinks anything before like december 15th is too much

the only thing he hates about christmas is that his parents always make him and erica pick out gifts for each other with no help from them... and since erica is an evil genius she always gets lucas the perfect gift just so she can hold it over his head for the entire year when he accidentally gets her a toy she already owns

she literally watches him open his present like >:) and lucas is pissed when it's this extremely specific action figure that he's wanted for a long time but he swears he never even mentioned it to anybody

and then he just sits there feeling like a stupid asshole as she unwraps a random doll that lucas figured she might like since its hair looks kind of sort of vaguely like erica's and she's like "thanks lucas :) i think i have this one already but it's sweet" and his parents are like "hey it's the thought that counts! erica see your brother knows what you like :)" and she's like "yeah :)" and then as soon as their parents aren't looking she sticks her tongue out at lucas and he sticks his out back at her

the sinclairs have such a disgustingly perfect christmas like they bake cookies together and shit it's adorable

speaking of adorable families the byers house is so full of love on christmas

almost all of the ornaments on their tree are handmade little crafts from when will and jonathan were younger and they buy tinsel at the dollar store and just go fucking ham with it their tree always looks like a hobby lobby threw up

growing up joyce would usually try to get them some things they need on christmas and then like one or two special things for each of them and she could never buy the fancy new toys that were in all the ads on tv and in magazines but she knows her boys.... jonathan got his first camera on christmas and it was from a secondhand store and kind of dinged up and definitely old as shit but he loved it..... will always got some new construction paper and crayons or markers so by the end of christmas day joyce would have new drawings to put up on the fridge or a new little ornament that he made for her.....

sometime in november jonathan would always be like "okay will i have a secret mission for you, you need to find out something mom needs that we could give her for christmas!" and will would be like "you have to say your mission should you choose to accept it" and jonathan would say "well i know you're gonna accept the mission" and will's like "jonathannnnn" and jonathan would be like "okay fine your mission should you choose to accept it" and will would be like >:) im a spy >:)

so little baby will would action roll around the house humming the mission impossible theme and peeking around walls at joyce and then after like a week he'd say "i think mom needs a stool she keeps jumping to try and reach stuff high up in the cabinets" and jonathan's like awesome thanks and he finds a cheap folding stool and some chocolates that he can afford with whatever money he has saved up and he has will wrap it because he figures it's like ten times cuter that way and joyce cries when she sees the little christmas card will put with the stool for her

i'm going way more in depth than i need to thvjdjcd but basically the byers house is all love man... so much love ..... they don't use colored lights anymore they only use the solid strands but they still have fun decorating together and will makes paper chains and stuff to hang up and i'm about to make myself cry

so!! this is getting super long fjvndmcmd

nancy is absolute dogshit at buying presents for people she's just terrible at it. she always just asks mike and holly and her parents what they want and buys exactly what they tell her and if they don't tell her anything then she has like a mental breakdown about it and panics and buys like. a flannel pajama gift set from the department store.

when she's dating steve he tells her not to worry about getting him anything which she takes at face value until her mom asks what she's giving steve like three days before christmas and then she starts panicking and she goes to a sporting goods store and just asks the first employee she sees what a teenage boy who plays basketball might like

steve can't tell if he should be like happy or vaguely offended that his girlfriend gave him like shoe deodorizers and a water bottle and socks for a sports team that he doesn't root for... she tried though and thats all he cares about

she and jonathan agree they'll exchange gifts but nothing over like MAX fifteen bucks which is easy she just finds a tape or a record she thinks he'll like and she's set (she spends a full hour in the music store and almost just gets a gift certificate for him but eventually she just says fuck it and picks some random shit she's never heard of and hopes he likes whatever it is)

mike on the other hand is actually like... insanely good at gift giving because he pays close attention to the people he cares about and he just like Knows if lucas or dustin or will is gonna like something

he just doesnt really buy into christmas all that much?? it's cool to get free stuff and eat cookies and all but he thinks people make it into a bigger deal than it should be

holly still believes in santa though so he likes seeing how excited she gets on christmas... it warms his cold tween boy heart.....

the first christmas he gets to spend with el he turns into a fucking christmas enthusiast and he makes her hot chocolate and gives her a tape full of christmas songs and he asks his mom for a bigger gift allowance because he has a GIRLFRIEND now and she's never- uh, THEY'VE never celebrated christmas TOGETHER so it has to be SPECIAL MOM!!!!

karen is like buddy calm down but it's so nice to see him excited about something again that she caves and gives him like forty bucks and tells him not to tell nancy or his dad

el and hopper christmas... i cannot go into detail or i WILL cry but hopper takes her with him to pick out their tree and she's so meticulous about it like examining all of them and he's just standing there in the cold freezing his ass off letting her do her thing because she's so excited that he doesn't have the heart to tell her they're basically all the same and to just hurry up and pick one

he gives her a lot of books... there are so many books under their ugly fucking tree because el picks one thats extremely crooked because she says it seems nice and hopper cant find any of his old decorations so they have to start from scratch...

el enlists the whole party for help finding hopper a present because it has to be the best present of all time!!!! they're like well what does he like and she's like uh tv.... coffee.... gun...... and they're like uh we can get him a coffee mug?

so on christmas morning el presents him with a "BEST DAD" mug full of candy and he hugs her so she won't see that he's fucking crying

she also gives max a drawing she did of max as wonder woman and it isn't very good but max says it's her favorite present she's ever gotten and she keeps it folded up in her nightstand

max has mixed feelings about christmas

i should not have saved her for last this is depressing

fuck her family fuck all of that okay max spends christmas eve with the sinclairs and christmas day with el because her mom and neil don't really feel like celebrating this year and so for the first time in a long time her christmas is full of love and joy and hopper makes them cinnamon rolls for breakfast which el has never had before and it's great

the party usually does a big gift swap and they don't get each other anything too fancy or expensive but it's sweet... they all gather in mike's basement like the day after christmas and eat the leftovers from the wheelers' christmas dinner and give each other comics and action figures and dice

once robin enters the picture she and steve lowkey get smashed on christmas eve together off peppermint schnapps and they play rockin around the christmas tree like ten times and jump around until they get dizzy...

they give each other little things like every other day leading up to christmas so by the end of december they've exchanged gifts like ten times but it isn't their FAULT okay!!! steve just saw these earrings and thought of her so he got them... and robin couldn't just leave that wham! crop top sitting in the store...... and steve couldn't resist the cheap bff necklaces he found while looking for a gift for erica....... and what is robin meant to do, ignore the stuffed kermit doll she saw in a store window?

it's just unrealistic

i like to think that everybody gathers at the byers house for lunch or dinner on christmas eve... they just hang out and exchange presents and make cookies and watch christmas movies and argue over which ones suck and which ones are actually good...... they just spend time together without any fear or danger and it's good

[swampgallows]

like this shit is so long

Only once Jaina was back in her own rooms in Theramore, and her head had begun to cool off from the madness – indeed, wild hope, chilling fears, joy and a thousand other emotions spinning through her head, only one step from insanity – only then did she remember that she had forgot to ask one important question, and it froze the grin on her face.

Something so small but so important to the culture she grew up in – even stricter than normal for her, a woman of such a fine family line. Something so small, so ridiculous even, but not dismissible and it had haunted her only in its current form in peaceful times. There had been no time for it before, not when her life took plunges – I will be a mage, a scholar dedicated to study and magic to We may not be alive tomorrow and onwards through We are alive and building a new home.

She stared out of one of the window of her chambers, without really seeing anything. Unwittingly, one of her hands went to her stomach.

Only after the chaos she found herself the owner of her own throne, and with that, being a person who was expected to eventually produce an heir who could sit on that throne later on.

Before that, she had only been haunted by regret and bitterness, and the memory of sweet whispers, of fingertips and warmth that had turned colder than ice. Both of them young and foolish, knowing they were as good as betrothed – it would only be a few words away, the match was suitable even in a politician's eye – but duty called him, and magic her. And then he turned into the greatest evil to walk Azeroth, barring Archimonde and his ilk.

Bitterness and regret being mere personal torture, but with her current position the problem became a tangible… inconvenience to say the least. Before, she may have pushed it aside and felt that she would face it the day she had a suitable suitor.

And how long ago was it, young lady, that you could bear thinking of anyone but him touching you?

this shit is so fucking long and it doesn’t say anything new. there are three different paragraphs talking about “before” but it’s not for emphasis and it doesn’t provide any new information. if i were the editor, i would do this:

HAHAHA OH HOLY SHIT I GOT ON MY LAPTOP AND THIS WAS THE LAST THING ON MY CLIPBOARD HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

anyway my edit would be like

Only once Jaina was back in her own rooms in Theramore, and her head had begun to cool off from the madness – indeed, wild hope, chilling fears, joy and a thousand other emotions spinning through her head, only one step from insanity – only then did she remember that she had forgot[en] to ask one important question[.] and it froze [T]he grin on her face [froze].

Something so small but so important to the culture she grew up in – even stricter than normal for her, a woman of such a fine family line. Something so small, so ridiculous even, but not dismissible and it had haunted her only in its current form in peaceful times. There had been no time for it before, not when her life took plunges – I will be a mage, a scholar dedicated to study and magic to We may not be alive tomorrow and onwards through We are alive and building a new home.

She [blankly] stared out of one of the window of her chambers, without really seeing anything. Unwittingly, one of her hands went to her stomach.

Only after the chaos she found herself the owner of her own throne, and with that, being a person who was expected to eventually produce an heir who could sit on that throne later on.

Before that, she had only been haunted by regret and bitterness, and the memory of sweet whispers, of fingertips and warmth that had turned colder than ice. Both of them young and foolish, knowing they were as good as betrothed – it would only be a few words away, the match was suitable even in a politician's eye – but duty called him, and magic her. And then he turned into the greatest evil to walk Azeroth, barring Archimonde and his ilk.

Bitterness and regret being mere personal torture, but with her current position the problem became a tangible… inconvenience[,] to say the least. Before, she may have pushed it aside and felt that she would face it the day she had a suitable suitor.

And how long ago was it, young lady, that you could bear thinking of anyone but him touching you?

like so much of this is just not contributing anything. it’s a fic, we already know who these characters are, and there was already a previous chapter before this detailing jaina’s situation and hyjal and everything else. all of it is really implicit that she forgot to ask thrall if he wanted kids, it doesn’t need the like three paragraphs of Jaina is a Human Female and Expected to Have Children. this isnt an alien species being introduced to us like most couplings in azeroth bring up children as a factor. 

i dunno like i know people write fic for fun but this shit is 100k and when there is this much unnecessary detail it’s hard to see the forest for the trees as it were, and it makes it a slog to get through. i also dont “speed read” because most of my reading has been academic where every single word counts, and part of me feels like it’s disrespectful to the author. like they put these words down to be read, and so i will read them, but that’s also the way i’ve been trained to read.  also since i spent most of my schooling reading stuff like shakespeare or canterbury tales or les miserables you have to stop like every five syllables to look shit up or derive some kind of analysis unless it’s a modern adaptation that doesnt require any “translation” necessarily.  

basically like. writing is fun but editing is important. more people will read your fic when it isn’t 30% filler. and ive complained about it before but like word count doesnt have any fucking bearing at all on the quality of writing. in fact, when i see ship fics that skyrocket to like 150k words in a handful of chapters im like dang bitch you cant write for shit!!! if you cant get across what you wanna say in that amount of words and youre STILL not done it means you gotta pare some shit down. 

it’s why i prefer writing over talking EVERY time because i KNOW i ramble irl. and in a casual setting like this, a blog post, i of course will ramble here too. but in writing??? writing that people read? everything you write should convey something and drive your story forward. every sentence you type is communicating something. if you get through the whole paragraph and all you can extract from it is “jaina realizes motherhood is a possibility again”, it needs to say something more. i mean this is all just my opinion but like it’s so important to the tone of your writing.

i remember when i was reading the shining, and early on in the story jack is being instructed in the boiler room. and the attendant or janitor or whatever you’d call him goes on for a HUGE block of text of all the mechanisms and step-by-step explains each and every facet of the machinery, how to use it, what it’s for. there aren’t even indents in the paragraph. and then it mentions off-handedly how jack was giving quick responses like “yup”, “uh-huh”, shit like that. i mean it’s been a few years since i read it so im paraphrasing. but that part of the book stood out to me because it was so immersive. the way it was written and the way the information was being relayed was specifically to bore the reader, to put them in jack’s position, and also maybe intimidate them a little bit. and of course it was foreshadowing, too, when later in the story jack is struggling with the boiler, and i actually went and flipped back to the instructions earlier in the book to review what jack was supposed to do. and then i thought, “boy, i bet jack wished he was me right now, because i have everything all written down!” 

but anyway, like. that’s good writing. that’s using the medium of text to its advantage to communicate on a meta-level how the audience should feel, and that we are all jack in that moment, being told a huge laundry list of shit we have to do—being paid to do, our sole responsibility on this job—and totally mentally checking out. i LOVE jaina, and i LOVE thrall, but the way this fic is written portrays them both as totally spaced out, completely unsympathetic characters. what i read above isn’t communicating jaina’s trauma to me; it sounds condescending, like she’s such an air-headed dim bulb that she forgot to ask her new husband if he wanted kids.

and the “proposal” was like... extremely awkward? i mean maybe that’s what the author is going for but thrall being basically like “uhh i guess? yeah i guess.” and then it says they talked for an hour but couldnt stay longer than that because they’re both leaders and couldn’t stay away too long. like... i feel like this is supposed to be a pretty important thing? marriage? it’s the setup for the whole fic and it’s played so... underwhelmingly. which i dont feel is intentional.

I KNOW it’s just a fic and i’m being very critical but it’s just like damn everybody bitches about blizzard’s “bad writing” but then nobody steps up to the plate. :\ i dunno how anybody spends so much time reading fanfiction when most of it is such a fucking chore to read. god i hope my story isnt like that.

[theskyexists]

watching bladerunner 2049

great environmentally destroyed earth there

i believe that the blatant humanity of AI in this film - as well as their blatant ability to love and feel empathy (a huge divergence from the book) while still being treated as inferior and disposable objects is a comment on how we do that to Other humans without blinking.

though also, they can project a hologram, then solidify the hologram - but they can’t clean up the damn atmosphere? like really. I guess that can only be explained by an elite trying to stay on top by keeping capital firmly in their own hands. i was looking at those solar farms and just going....how is that bringing in any energy in this dust?

also the problem i have with Ryan Gosling as this lead dude who’s in love with his adjustable AI hologram is that i never buy him as capable of love in that way. ever. at all. (so possibly it’s the right choice? anyway this whole thing is creepy)

yeah it’s supposed to be like: lol this was just a fantasy

‘a sentimental skin job’ - evidence of funerary practice, of altruistic behaviour (of grief, of empathy?) he says sorry even though by society’s standards the robot’s owed no courtesy? then he thinks the dude ate the baby - like thats not more insulting

so what separates robots from humans is not - eating food, drinking liquor, getting hurt, feeling empathy - but the ability to reproduce??? (but doesnt he need to sleep?)

the argument really is that being born = having a soul? lol thats a crazy wall to build a society on but there’s been stupider and more arbitrary ones. again, maybe that’s the point

a LOT of product placement in this.

it keeps to the same formula though. an investigator who is forced to forego his own empathy to ‘do the job’. Meeting with the local robot company, meeting the secretary in charge made to appeal. etc. etc. i think that’s pretty cool.

this building is very pharaoic. great set

eyyy a reference to the book. a lil origami sheep (got what he wanted)

im getting the impression from this film that ‘androids’ haven’t got a metal thing in their body and they’re just clones. which honestly i also got that sense from the book so that makes sense

ah so the android was based on himself (he looks ryan gosling like? or can i not distinguish white guys?). and this one is based on the K’s configuration of Joi.

Naturally the android to be ‘inspected’ is a woman who gets to be naked and weak and shit.

‘Every leap of civilisation was built off the back of a disposable workforce’ - great. (the film does a good job being like: hm yeah but the world is shit now so how is that leap so super ?)

Yikes i mean uh i know it’s like a commentary on disposable bodies and people as chattel and women as ‘reproducers’ but they’re portraying him and all his  fuckin self-important self-righteous power-hungry megalomaniac rich bitch speeches as a fuckin sermon worth listening to

and if they don’t take him down in this film i will be mad.

and also i wanted to stab his eyes out the moment he put his hand on her belly but unfortunately i get the sense he’s going to stab HER

but well they’re still sticking with the book formula which is still clever, the Investigator being in love with some AI and then having to kill the android that looks just like her because the company doesn’t keep to the law and shit

- i hope they push just a lil bit different since they’ve clearly established the main premise of the book is the opposite in this film - androids DO have empathy, they DO dream of electric sheep (in this case, electric Joi)

I sure hope ‘Luv’ gets to murder Wallace for what he does to this baby android.

I know he’s a rapist capitalist sadist god complex creepbitch but goddamn i sure hope that the movie MEANT for that reading or i will be mad.

he literally did nothing but creep on a CHILD android and then murder her FOR NOTHING. wow. i’ve never wanted androids to take over and kill a human so badly before. This sure is the opposite of Terminator.

i liked mackenzie davis’ performance here.

‘am i the only one who can see the fuckin sunrise, here?’ uhhhh why are you shouting at the android? like, where the fuck are your human officers and bosses? i love how apparently a police boss can just drink on the job? bc sci fi noir. not that ryan gosling manages that. i JUST noticed that she has bare legs, and now they cut to putting them on display. this is going to end badly (im feeling like there’s going to be some sort of sexual power abuse. edit: she was testing his humanity and he deliberately failed teh test to stop her interest in him)

why the fuck would they implant that memory. (but he thinks that it might be real) (but then how would he have ended up there at the police station)

theres a lot of rain in this world

we now move onto the marginal humans that live in the waste, discarded. and how they destroyed without blinking by a marginal android operating on the orders of the richest man alive.

i have to say that watching this movie makes me so happy about trees and blue skies

the marginal children - processing the waste - sick, abused, enslaved.... here all white...supervisor...black. interesting choice. (all this suffering for ‘civilisation’ - the nickel for the colony ships - this is a lot more spicy than the book - a lot more realistic about who suffers and dies for that kind of thing)

starts to seem like he really is the kid - these ‘orphanage’ stairs look a lot like that memory

Gosling is great for this role bc he doesn’t really have to move his face. but god the pace of this film is so SLOW! had to skip a bit of his slow shuffle to the horse man. ‘ohhh i was a real child, from loving parents, oh no i killed my dad! after killing my mum through childbirth! fuck! im the child that im hunting! oh shit! hey i have a soul!’

you’re special because actually you had agency all along and you’ve been using it to murder people wink

i dont understand the AI bit in this. don’t understand why they would hide him with so much care that he’d know nothing about who he was and kill his dad. like. surely that wasn’t the idea. also if the AI is Wallace’s why can’t Luv hack it. also i really kind of dislike her male fantasy self.

I like this Doctor. she is very very sweet and lovely. i dont really know why nobody would come visit her.

so we can read memories, implant memories, project memories not photo realistically ACTUALLY realistically, we can construct memories from the imagination but we can’t -  i repeat - we can’t clean the damn atmosphere?? i mean yes yes yes this is... a perfect example of how capitalism will not necessarily put money into tech that is you know - a good idea for us all collectively but rather into something that can be sold but god DAMN

manipulation eyyyy. already exercising his freedom of mind

really. an android selling sex to an android??? what the fuck lol. it’s a clone implanted with fake memories selling sex to a clone. yeah yeah yeah society has deemed them inhuman purely because they were built but THE POINT IS THEY are human in literally every other sense and controls them through law and brain make-up and then eliminating everybody who grows their brains from baseline? (why are they even paid?? is that supposed to be pavlovian?)

i really don’t understand what this AI is about. i just can’t get over that this really doesn’t seem like a love story

he almost died and then this AI springs sex on him lol. i really. i just really don’t care for this story and that’s possibly because Ryan Gosling is just so fuckin bad at selling any kind of love story like his eyes are always SO DEAD

oh my god im only halfway. oh my god. THIS FILM IS ALMOST THREE HOURS LONG. jfc

this is such an extremely male fantasy it bores me to death. im  a dude who’s badass, powerful, controlled, SPECIAL, also told im special by my very humany AI gf who i installed exactly to my tastes, she desperately wants to have sex with me FOR ME because im just so cool and wonderful despite being so tortured and possessing eyes like a dead fish. 

let’s spend 20 mins on undressing another two women in this film as we, the viewers, and i, the male protagonist just stand and watch. let’s re-emphasise how she’s just a self-learning ai

there’s light? warm light?

and then they have the women fight each other ? cool cool cool. im not saying it’s not realistic, im just saying it’s boring. i thought Mackenzi was going to proposition K for the resistance

still not sure why Luv hasn’t hacked her already. first time the romance feels slightly real

I guess Luv is indoctrinated. i still like police boss don’t hurt her. i mean obv she’s terrible but so is everybody else. she cried...again. so she kills from anger - not because she had to. she kills her the same way Wallace killed the android. i’d love to read a lil analysis about this. later. women-on-women violence

oh she really DID know where he was but kept it from Luv. why? was she willing to die for him? no. her dignity? maybe. The women in this are mysteries. also why is he still allowed to use the car and drone when he’s suspended. that’s pretty fuckin stupid.

hmm giant statues of naked women WITH heels on posed sexily and unthreateningly. im just saying. this is all super psychoanalysis galaxy brain.

gasp there is a real live bee. thats a book call back

and a classic perfectly intact building

HALF OF THIS FILM IS JUST RYAN GOSLING SHUFFLING THROUGH STRIKING LANDSCAPES AND SETS FROWNING JUST SLIGHTLY

it’s got the opposite problem of the book: it is SLOW AS FUCK

how does he know what a piano is

wow K’s really good at de-escalating. why not just be honest. so he got shot, blown up and then? still fine walking. lol they just gotta show off that he’s still a bladerunner! (where the fuck did that name come from...)

here you’re bleeding in your face. ok? he’s also bleeding from the shotwound maybe? that was definitely implied that he got shot.

and K’s also really bad at asking questions lol. thats because all he ever did was shoot people. anyway this is boring again, these two fighting about nothing - some kind of testerony bullshit about zero stakes - but apparently just screaming at the man will help

also im not sure why he assumed Deckard was the father.

harrison ford delivered that well.

‘to strangers’ i fuckin hate ryan gosling i don’t know if its because hes a bad actor or because his interpretation is so shit

so Deckard left, Rachel died in childbirth (really? lol. god do i want to fuckin consume a woman’s story about goddamn dying in childbirth) and Sapper left him at the orphanage? but how the fuck did he then get slotted into police service all official like??? doesnt make sense except Mackenzie’s network’s got something to do with it

ok so it was implied but now confirmed taht androids come with enhancements

oh nooooo she kills his love :( awww. i can’t feel for him at all lol

but she almost kills the kid she so badly wanted to find

i wonder why she’s so sadistic. probably because she learned from wallace. but all the womb - woman - beautifying - controlled by man - in fear of him - in thrall of him - killing other women again and again sadistically while killing men coldly is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i just dont care for it you know

also this AI woman turned out to have NO role in the movie except to lavish attention on this dude (make him seem capable of love except ryan gosling can’t move his face) and then be fridged lol

so why does she let him live? fuckin bullshit

look, i like the aesthetic and the world but god the director is wayy too in love with it - SPEED THIS SHIT UP

so actually - if Rachel died in childbirth how is she holding the baby in the pic

“That baby meant that we are more than just slaves”

This could be really cool - like - taking back the means of reproduction!!! This is how we will become a PEOPLE. Freedom through female fertility as a symbol. But because uhhhhh this is all a Male Fantasy it feels decidedly icky and not like that at all. Like, why did they make the kid male? That...makes no sense? if Rachel was the only one who could bear children bc of her ...genes? Why the fuck would you centre the story on somebody who cannot take up that legacy, cannot be that symbol? It’s totally weird

OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH!!!!! ok lol.

he thought he was the kid but the girl is....but uh then why was there an exact copy. as a red herring? THEN HOW DID HE GET from the orphanage to the fuckin police???

Is Luv supposed to be the girl though? because they keep killing all the female characters so it’s like, uhuh. it’s not mackenzie bc like thatd be silly huh. i mean it would be stupid but they could pull that

if they think he can get at deckard, why not get him to shoot wallace

how did he get a fuckin police car lololololol

ah these super high tech hoovercars have zero defenses against ???  what is he even shooting at them?

Luv’s actress does something very interesting to her voice when she gets emotional or shouts orders - kind of monstrous and inhuman

well he certainly hit them perfectly

WHERE DID HE GET THE POLICE CAR?

“I’m the best one” yeah - i.e. so I cannot be killed by my master as he’s made me do to so many

why do they always INSIST on men killing women by choke. don’t be so fucking stupid. if she can push his head under water she can punch his lights out. SHE LITERALLY JUST HAD A KNIFE - SHE COULD HAVE STABBED HIM IN THE EYE

why would she waste air grunting. she doesn’t even fake him out. i know they’re human so thats counter-instinctual but like, she’s supposed to be an incredible fighter. it’s the same thing with how they have her do all these kicks and he stays standing because women = agility, men = endurance, and then he punches her once and she goes flying. THEY”RE ANDROIDS HARRY. WHY WOULD YOU BUILD GENDER BULLSHIT IN???

so how many women did we see die extremely explicitly and/or aesthetically and/or plot/significantly so far? raechal (childbirth), the android baby (one cut to the womb), the police boss (one cut to the womb), AI girl (one crunch), Luv (one shot and one strangle-drown).

Ryan Gosling can get shot, blown up, killer punched 7 times, get blown up again, have his lung get perforated by schrapnel, be kicked to shit 5 times. he gets a bandage on his nose and takes it off again so thats a total reset apparently. He’s then shot again, kicked to shit again, sliced in the hand, stabbed in a place thats clearly deadly, half drowned - and he STILL KILLS THIS ANDROID WOMAN. HE STILL KILLS THE BEST WALLACE HAS EVER MADE.

WHAT?!!??!?!!

the men get shot from a distance, bombed from a distance, shot from a distance.

im sorry but this sucks.

and then ryan gosling swims all the way to land.

lol why does this script try to convince me that in this advanced fuckin tech society they wouldn’t be able to check for Deckard’s body??? and then he brings him to a place that’s monitored??

oh right the Doctor was the daughter. so.....they lied about her auto-immune disease? she knew that she had given him her memory? why did they do that? im still not clear on that???

how tf and whytf would they send the girl to the orphanage and let her get beat up by some boys, and only then send her to some perfect chamber

ryan gosling always plays such emotionally constipated characters - they never wanna have anything good

THAT’S IT!?!! they’re not going to explain shit?? they’re implying K just died?? leaving Deckard to get picked up by police and Wallace to find the Doctor and and THEY DIDN’T EVEN KILL CREEP EXTROARDINAIRE FUCKING WALLACE???

All they did was kill the abused slave by fucking choke?????

[jungwoniics]

okay since dumblr glitched and everything i wrote was gone, i'll make it more neater and clearer for you 🥺 also this will get long lia :) and no problem if you replied late as tumblr is not only your world 😍

yes, it's true and even i'm glad how close you two became because elly didn't have much friends in real life 😔 and i'm happy she mad few friends here and her therapist reccomended her to write to bring her joy 😊 and i'm happy she's living her life 🥺🤧

so far it's going better but i hope it would be a little more better and thank you for sating such nice words 😭🤧 i always needed someone to talk, who can understand me being of the same age as me. thank you so much lia 🥺 i hope your year is going well too

also my birthday is on 23 feb and i follow IST time zone 😊 yes yes yes!!! let's be friends and #4lyfers, yes we are in the same age and will be in the same class too, i wonder you are grade 10 too??

and yes we can become each other's #4lyfers like really?? cause i have fucking trust issues :( i trust anyone easily 😞 maybe we can make a unit name for each other since both of our name start with L sooooooo???? what do you say?

okay, see these are my favs (btw i'm not keeping up with their content because i currently have my final exams going and they'll end on 24 may. also i haven't caught up their content for the past 5 months 😭) —

enha : 02z (soft spot for rest of enha 🥺😭🤧 but i'm an ot 7 tbh 😭😭)

txt : taegyu and yeonbin (soft spot for ningning but basically i'm an ot 5 🥰)

trainee a : still can't decide 😞

and i don't stan many groups because time doesn't permit and i only listen to your semis sometimes 😔 lmao!! i'm sorry we don't share similar biases but maybe some may differ 🤣

also i see you are getting into treasure, they used to be my ultimates but now i lost interest because of their hiatus just like other yg groups and i'm sorry to say this, yg ain't my cup of tea but i support yg groups.

and i have some questions to ask you, so here they are — 1) do you hide your tumble account from your parents or do they know it too??

2) did you create another gmail exclusively for tumblr only because i used to do that…

3) i get scared off being caught if my mom sees me writing fanfiction because back in 2021 i opened enha fan fiction account on insta and she caught and never said me to do like that but i discovered tumblr in mid may and i badly wanted to start but deleted everytime because i was scared that my mom will find out 😭😭

yeah that's it lia and i'd sit my pants and would cry if that happened, lmfao.

also you can feel free to ask me any questions lia 🥰🥰 idk what questions i'd ask and i felt comfortable talking to you and please do tell me if you feel uncomfy with me.

thank you 💖 — loki

oh omg i didnt know that about elly 🥺🤧 im reallly glad to be one of her moots fr 🥰🥰

yes i think 2022 hasnt really been an easy year for any of us so far 😭😭 ofc i'm always here if you ever need to talk/rant about something <3

oh em gee yes we are #4lyfers 😍 ohmygosh yes unit name..... unit name...... i cant think of any right now 😭😭

omg good luck for your exams !! im sure you'll slay them 😁

ok to answer your qns:

i actually have no idea if they know about my tumblr acc or not lol i think my mum knows i use blr but she doesnt know i write here??? yeah lol

i mean yes at first i created a new email for tumblr but now i use that email for all my other priv stuffs too lol

NO OMG BFF MY MUM FOUND OUT ABOUT MY ENHA FF ACC TOO but she found out about it after i wasnt really active on it anymore so tbh i didnt mind deleting the acc lol but ya she doesnt exactly restrict me from it? she js tells me to be careful of who i speak to online since i was almost scammed once BUT THANKFULLY I WASNT istg the scammers really shld brush up on their grammar 🤭

oh well i dont rly have any qns in mind rn lol but i really do enjoy interacting with you loki <33

[obannthepunished]

uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains

"They call me eagle-eye fjord where i come from." "maybe raven. i dont know." that theory about Fjord being the Hawker is suspicious rn (Apparently theres a third i missed whoops) sam apparently similar thoughts maybe bc Nott brings it up

Jester finally teaching kiri basic phrases, like "go fuck yourself"

Beau + Fjord taking first watch

Caleb checking out the dodecahedron

(Unrelated odd point: i have a current dislike/distrust for liam, which is bullshit bc... i love liam. and caleb and vax. but apparently smt is wrong.)

Dodecahedron is Very Old, and has been shaped/polished Cay uses the haversack as a pillow

BEAU/FJORD Beau: "I think I messed up. I think I should apologise." I HURT? Oh beauregard. oh marisha. "i wanna try, I guess" F: I think he deserves that. He's been good to us. i regret not writing fic now 8(

"OOH, terrible" "YEP." "five" "five" (collective "ooh")

Nott + Jes second. they roll not great.

Tinkle tinkle "nnhnohfishnott"

Kiri is poofed up asleep aAW

trident goin for FRUMPKIN NOOO (pause whilst they look for range on dismissal)

Kiri wakes up "Go fuck yourself :("

Theyre waiting for fish head they could just reappear Frumpkin tho...

Jester is sacred flaming, Molly has a sword active + stabs, Caleb fire bolt, Nott fires an arrow, Fjord eldritch blast, Yasha stabby

Molly + Nott + Caleb miss Fjord hits, Beau hits, Yasha hits dunno bout jes

frumpkin poofs back but doesn't see anything else.

???? alarm lasts 8 hours, not until triggered yall it should still be up. they need to look up the spells smh

Nott messaging to tell yash to hide the bodies

LAst watch is Yash and Caleb i need to stop shortening names

Caleb asks Yasha for people advice :') He's writing it down... i love him Yashas advice is basically "Fucking Bathe" And cay confirms he keeps himself gross because people ignore him more that way 8( Baby

C: "Do you know what i miss? shaving." Y: "I could shave you right now with my sword. I've done it before, you know, to... not have hair on my arms-" Omg shes doing it omg theyre doing it omg I DONT HAVE TO DRAW FACIAL HAIR IN MY FANART ANY MORE FUCK <3333

cay forgets he has a dagger jesus fucking christ

i love everyone making comments + taliesins just amazed like, borderline heart eye emoji look at this whole scenario

M: (to Caleb) "Well done, she [yasha] likes you!"

Nott is Not Happy About Water N: I'LL STAY WITH KIRI everyone else: Convincing her to come N: I'll stay with kiri, and if there's any trouble... we'll see what happens

Fjord goes first, he sees, with his 60ft darkvision, architeture of room. mistly natural, some bits not.

Fjord botches his stealth roll but matt botches his perception even worse. and my thing crashed im so mad.

Fjord is Not a good swimmer. hes like. 30ft swimming speed. Things being left: Caleb's books (2) Molly's coat

travis willingham going "kiris gotta die" then dragging everyone who gasped through the dirt

beau gets fucking 37 on her stealth check Matt: "That's some vax numbers right there!"

The visual aid is... so extra. lights. smoke. what the fuck matthew. (note: when ur best friend is called matthew this is a phrase you say too much)

Surprise round for erryone but Molly and Yasha (purrsonally, i think they were too busy talking abt how beautiful cay is now ;3c)

everyone rolled shite for initiative tho

Caleb casting haste on molly O:

Fjord is very very adept at everything

everyone on crit role can do maths better than me 8(

the marrow fuck beau and fjord royally

watching call lightning forming + marishas face as she slowly realises :)

jes gets the first hdywtdt + crushes a fish with a lollipop

Caleb is taking blind potshots with the glove of blasting boyy. One even hits!

moll gets 3 attacks i love my beautiful devil child

N: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? you can reply to this message~ C: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK N: oh,, alright.

Taliesin's relief when ashley actually hits is very good.

Beau goes down! D:

hi unrelated taliesin sticking his tongue out at sam fills me with indescribable joy

NEW: Horny twink gets double penetrated by feisty wet ones.

... which is to say two fish dudes stab molly.

Jes heals Beau, but we all know fine fucking well if she hadn't, Yasha would have done it on her next turn. still might since she's only on 11

Cay using dispel magic O:

Molly gets the second hdywtdt "I'm literally just a windmill at this point"

FJORD gets the third F: "I see Molly loojin' around, give him a little wink-" (murders) M: Fucking arsehole F: (witty comment) PEACE OUT (blinks out again)

"Sevens are scary" - Taliesin

Yash gets the next hdywtdt Xorhasian Neck Tie Jesus christ

I was right tho Yasha was seriously considering healing beau, it just takes her action

Two more fishfucks 8(

More call lightning

Sams flask says "lost my best friend over a bowl" and that hurtie

caleb is boutta die. Yasha is boutta die first lmao oh no. i love taliesin jaffe an inhuman amount. Yash gets pulled OVER beau and marisha makes like grabby hand motions which is VERY cute

ok NOW caleb boutta die. he Shield's, and then fragments "Caleb will remember this"

Beau looks at Yasha, looks at Caleb, and goes to CALEB (sobs) blasts a ki point and everything

Molly gets a nat 20 oh he's such a babe

Nott spending her turn justifying herself to Kiri

Fjord blinks back in and fucks up ANOTHER fishfuck

Yasha casting healing hands on HERSELF good.

"You dont have a printout of your character sheet????" "Oh yeah I do after you asked me nine times" liam wh

both yash and caleb are at ONE hp

B, spening her last ki point: HEYCALEBWESHOULDTALKLATER

Beau gets the HDYWTDT tho

Molly is Very Sick from losing haste

Caleb goes the fuck down Fails his first save

everytime tal says "im gonna try something weird"  i heart eyes emoji shame he cant do jack fuck though

Nott Burning Bolt shoots the fishfuck for 24 damage jeeeeez doesnt die but drops lightning

Fjord: (appears, fails, disappears)

if Caleb permadeaths i WILL cry

PLEASE YASHA PLEASE GOD JESTER PLEASE THEY KILL IT IM CRYING SO HARD no like literally i am actually crying bc matt very deliberately did that so that he didnt kill Caleb

Jester uses her pearl of power to regain a slot, and use it to cast prayer of healing for SHIT rolls.

Jester goes back to Kiri <333 baby. baby bird.

Matt mercer keeps using words ive only ever seen written and im ALWAYS ???? about their pronunciation

Fjord finds some L00t Like boxes and longswords and a pool of water with dozens of metallic objects mostly outlawed diety symols. changebringer moonweaver. others i forgot. stormlord. everlight. asmodeus ooh, bane strife emperor. and tiamat.

"a little black bird that's fluttering to try and get dry" fuck thats so damn cute. Marisha has the :D face

Calebs books are dry

wooden box + pool are magic. like. WITHIN.

Enchantment in the box. Molly collecting the moonweaver pieces

JESTER FINDS TWO SYMBOLS FOR THE TRAVELLER? HOLY SHIT Different make, pure silver one, burnished bronze another door arch with the road

Molly gets 12-13 symbols

Nott mage hands just so good even drunk

in the box is a blade, gold, jewel encrusted Molly shoves Nott aside to get it cause its a scimitar style

Caleb finds the arch-heart symbol? Takes one

Yasha takes 4 symbols for the storm god.

Bane/strife emperor symbol Fjord is curious about chained coffin he throws it into the pool. nothing happens.

JEster goes to pll it out and gets a big catseye yellow gem,  magical, but not a school of arcane magic. it has a line groove in it, very deliberate, an oval.

"something about that [orb] is very familiar"??? (Matt to Travis)

i was right about the orb being familiar

C: (abt the gold sword) This blade is called Summer's Dance C: "Mr. Mollymauk," M: "Mr. Caleb."

Blade allows user to cast Blink basically, and is stronk

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

i think its probably misty step and not blink 

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

on the sword i mean

caleb tries to ID the orb

fjord touches it "sky is moonlit + cloudless, clothes not your own, nor body, overcoat + human skin. thick calloused skin. left hand stone. look down, see body of previous owner, dead in blood. natural landmass seawater night. flash. right hand grasps falchion. voice booms. potential. jams the stone into gut, cCONSUME. vanishes into belly. looks into water. REWARD." "Vandrin."

i dont kn ow what the fuck is going on.??? everyone else sees this o shit

oh shit is the eye the symbol of Fjord's patron?

"he was my mentor, a captain of mine. a man named Vandrin." Y: What happened to Vandrin? F: I'm not sure. he captained the ship i worked on for many years, and their was an incident. an explosion, terrible weather, waves, "i was knocked overboard" when f woke up he was back on shore

"how did you survive" "I'm not entirely sure."

explosion was sabotage.

the pool is saltwater.

Molly shoves Fjord's head into the water

comes up "You okay???" "Do it again" "Tap three times when you're done!" Fjord drowns

they take as much as possible up and out and decide to dynamite everything in. dramatic exit..

They take the bodies down and lay them in the swamp to rest and decompose.

Beau tries to pull Caleb aside and he just stonewalls her until she actually apologises.

Caleb "I give beauregard a hug and say 'idont know what im doing. just. go with it." BEau very AWKWARDLY hugs him back Beau consulting Fjord, Caleb consulting Yasha The entire other side of the table clapping.

Beau: UH. GOOD TALK. FRIEND. (awkward silence) Beau: Seriously though. Friend? (pause) Caleb: Uh. Ja. (brb dying)

there is a single yellow eye on the hilt of the falchion.

episode END

[soynairobi]

“¡Every thing is alright!”

It’s been so so long that I dont write here, and recently i checked my last posts and read them and I enjoyed it a lot, and it made me think a bit of me again. 

I feel a 8-9/10 bad.

Im now in Berlin, in a cold cold balcony. I could be inside the apartment instead of in the cold balcony but i dont feel like i can do just like if nothing happens anymore. I can't just sit there in the couch while i see Tobi working or/and watching random girls, and im just there next to him like if supporting him. I can't go back to sleep and hug and cuddle him till fall asleep after feeling betrayed, I cant go back to cuddles that easy anymore. Cuddles lose the healing power it has when the problem that has to be healed is always the same one and it comes always the same way. 

I appreciate the love that Tobi and me have. I believe we're very blessed for finding each other. I admire Tobi's humour and cleverness, and intelligence and sensibilidad. I remember reading his letter saying that there's no better joy for him than seeing me happy and smily. And I certainly feel very nice and warm in my bauch and its nice. It just came to my mind now what Julia (psycologist) said, that your partner can't make you feel good or better, but is yourself... lets take that in consideration again. He makes me feel good but is not either his duty and I shouldn't allow that he has that power, at the end he is another person and he is not my brain. So i have to make me feel good myself. 

But I think, why am I dealing with this situation... was it me and my mind being mean and mad at me? or was it really something that Tobi did and that is justificable for me to feel that way... 

That is still uncertain to me. The common logic and Tobis logic says that im not entitled to feel this way and to ask for what im asking... tho I dont think the real queastion has been answered in an honestly way, I just dont feel entitled to ask for what I really want... and that is that I dont want to deal with my partner being interested and actively looking for other girls either on the internet or real life... I dont want to know my partner and know that he/she is just that way and that im either taking something of their personality away or im being a bitch for bringing it up. But I really just want my partner to be easy with his needs of looking for other women. And i ask myself if is it a legit thing for me to ask for, or if it exists, or if im being totally unsense. 

What is it. Peace will come to me. 

Yeah certainly im feeling more in peace right now. Still confused tho about what are my rights to ask for and what are absolutely not okay to ask. 

I understand that Tobi has the desire/need of looking at other ass or boobs or body or face. I do understand it. I feel bad for having this feelings. I feel bad for being in a bad mood when it happens, and i feel bad for making him feel bad. Maybe im just being too selfish. Maybe this is not the way i should or the way i want to love. I actually would love to love in a very not asking for anything else and just being happy with what i got and what we have (Which is a lot!! and its really nice!” most of the times) and maybe some day i can reach that. Actually lately i was feeling very acceptable and not playing games in my mind, and i to make it easier and better for us by me just accepting how that things are right now...  im really trying to be chilled and relaxed and balance and easy... and it was working... so maybe i just gotta be more patient and it will come. It will just com this mindset of relaxing and not forcing anything or anyone. I know im trying and god knows im trying (lolololol god, but ja, just to say), all i want is to be in peace in my mind. 

I think about the unfairness. About the consequenses that there is if i would do what i think is fair when tobi does watch porn or looks for random girls on the internet, because he does, he says he doesnt do it like actively but what about what i see he does? because i do see, i do watch him when is happening hoping that it will be the way he says and he just scrolls down and not clicking on the girl that seems to be showing more. But thats not what i see, what i see is his attention going always, always either in the outside or on the internet, always going his eyes to the most naked or more cute one. What about that? im i creating those images? yesterday i saw him scrolling down very fast and the very quick saw a bikini girl and he went up to look at it because he missed it by scrolling too fast. Or i saw him looking at this instagram girl and clicking on the promising hot pictures and then googling her. And then this video of the girls ass, when he was looking at his other screen doing work or writing or somethings and everytime the girl would show ass again he would look at it until the ass is gone and go back to writing or working on the other screen, again and again. What about that? if im really crazy and what im seeing is not real? 

I wish i could just look away when he wants/needs to look at other girls.

And in any case, what does that even matter. It doesnt, it doenst matter if he looks watches or stares, as long as im the one he wants, right? 

That would be so nice to fully believe it. And im looking forward to have that mindset. To just be like, what does that even fucking matter. Right now it does matter to me and it means something to me. But i know it will stop some day, im just working harder to make it happen faster. 

i feel now in a 4/10 better/good. Good that either the writing, or the wind, or the music or the distance helped. }

“Everything is alright” from Living life. Kathy McCarty “Peace” Depeche mode.