#adviceformefrommeanswered

[adviceformefromme]

The reason you’re feeling so underwhelmed by life is because you are SETTLING. Setting for unhappiness, for what you don’t want. But solution has always, and will always be investing in you, putting you first. Loving you. And, yes might feel shit at first, like why would you go for a run when you can be warm inside your home scrolling like a little cabbage? Why would you even bother doing anything? And that’s the difference between those that win and those that stay stuck miserable and depressed, living a basic life. You have to get hungry for your wanting a better life, hungry for change, hungry for your dreams and passions. Your comfort zone is slowly bringing you more and more unhappiness. It’s like a never ending pit of darkness and you’re sinking into it each day you say yes to distractions and no to pushing yourself forward.

Your basic living tasks shouldn’t be eating all your energy. Something as simple as washing your hair shouldn’t be this big deal you wait for, it’s something that can be done quickly and fuck your scalp is itching you and you were thinking to put this off until when??? Stop waiting. Move forward. That is the message. The advice. And move your fucking body for fucks sake, you were never made to be doing nothing all day, no sex, no exercise, no movement, you are like a cabbage. Stop waiting to live, waiting for a better job, waiting to meet someone, all this waiting is preventing you from living, in the now. Right here. Go do something today that your future-self will thank you for, take a baby step. Write one line, send one email. Do one squat. Keep moving one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

[adviceformefromme]

Hey there! Hope you are well :)

So I wanted to ask how to cut off people in your friend group without it damaging your relationship with the other friends?

Hey sweetie, great question.

And in short, the answer is unknown. Depending on your friendships, how strong they are, and if they are truly meant to be in your life after you cut off said person will determine the outcome. If you can refrain from discussing the cut off with your other friends this should avoid any gossiping on either sides.

If the other friends are truly your friends and meant to be in your life you will navigate a new dynamic with them. Or they will fall away. Growth is uncomfortable, but having people who love and support you is essential for growth in life. As you grow and evolve there will be an abundance of new friendships available so my advice would be to trust in your decision to cut whoever off, and accept that there could possibly some damage. And if there is, it's dead weight leaving your life because they weren't on your team in any case. Your true friendships will reveal themselves without you having to do anything.

xoxo

[adviceformefromme]

When love is a loosing game… So your quest for love has resulted in meeting the most toxic, good-for-nothing, hurtful, damaging, requiring therapy (post encounter with said persons), leaving you emotionally, physically and financially in the gutter. These are all signs of loosing in love, and you the best thing you can do when you’re in this situation is focusing on a winning strategy. 

Rule number one. Stop the chasing. Stop the obsessing. You don't want be attracting love from an empty cup. Redirect your energy to your own love story, your own passions, your own hearts desires. This is going to elevate your energy so you’re not attracting from the gutter. You start attracting from a place of higher love. Self love.

Rule number two. Reinvent yourself. If you’ve had a lifetime of failed relationships it’s time for a new look. Start seeing a new reflection in the mirror. Let go of the old you, start seeing yourself as someone who wins, who loves their reflection when they look in the mirror, someone who is confident, someone who is totally in love with that they see. If you’re not there yet do the fucking work, change your wardrobe, your hair, whiten your teeth, get the Invisalign. Whatever it is for you. Switching up your image and becoming as confident as possible is going to elevate your energy. 

Rule number three. Start focusing on what you can give and let go of what you can get. A lot of failure when it comes to love is because we're focusing on so hard what we can take from the other person, seeing them as an ATM, or how we can use their body for our needs. This is low vibration energy and is going to keep us in the gutter when it comes to love. What do you have to offer in a relationship? Are you loving? Do you have an expanded mind, interesting conversation, are you an asset yourself? Do you radiate loving energy or are you toxic yourself? Start thinking of the person you want to show up as, and let go of the take and focus on the giving. 

Rule number four. Stop withholding your heart, your voice, your truth. Every time you fear speaking on how you feel you’re sending out a signal to the universe that your words are not important, that staying small is more important than being seen. How is your true love ever going to see you if you don’t allow yourself to be seen? So what if you fail, or embarrass yourself. Is it not more important to be true to your heart and live with no regrets than keeping your heart closed and playing small, keeping you away from the very thing you desire? A loving connection? If you can’t speak your truth and say how you feel are you even ready for a lasting love? 

Rule number five. Stop ignoring the RED flags. Focus on compatibility, understanding values, lifestyle match. These points are all to be established in the dating phase. Instead of smiling like a Cheshire Cat on these dates, getting swept away by the ACT that these men (and women) put on during the dating phase. Start dating with your A game. Suss out if it’s worth entertaining the guy that calls his ex ‘crazy’, or that hates eating out when this is what you absolutely love. Start being smarter, move better, and learn to win when it comes to love. 

[adviceformefromme]

Hello! I’m not sure if you’ve heard of the saying “Why the grass is NEVER greener on the other side” do you agree or disagree with this and why? Personally it’s something I struggle with and would like some advice for 🖤

Yes, I’ve heard this saying. I lost someone very close to me suddenly (car accident) around 6 years ago and it really woke me up to making the most of what I have and what could be taken from me at any given moment without a seconds notice. Nothing is promised, life is constantly changing in this life and death cycle. The best advice I would give is to close your eyes and think for a moment if you didn’t have eyes to see, your best friend next to your side, your roof over your head. Think for a moment, those things you take for granted could be gone from you at any moment. Think how scary this could be. Think if you were in bed sick suddenly for a year. Think if you only had one year left on earth. (Don’t dwell too long in these thoughts), but just long enough for it to make you realise that you are truly blessed with what you have, and your energy should be poured into making the most of your life. Not looking at anyone else's. Realising you are the main character of this movie you call your life. Wanting to live a life anything other than your own, means you’ve lost the focus on you, and you need to re-align. The only grass you should be focusing on is yours, and how you can make it more beautiful and turned on. You need to activate your energy, within you. So everything you do is focused on elevating your own life. Practise gratitude. Practise gratitude for the things, the life you are yet to be blessed with. Practise having faith and hope for your own life, your own dreams. Turn the focus inwards, on you, and you’ll never need to looking at anyone else’s life. 💕

[adviceformefromme]

I’m trying so hard to forget my crush but I keep seeing him everywhere. I’m trying to forget him because he knows I exist but he hasn’t made a move. So I’m trying to save myself the heartbreak and pining. But I keep running into him at work. On the bus to work, on the bus back home from work, in the lift, walking past him when I went to get my lunch today. It feels like god is playing a cruel joke on me. Is there anything I can do to feel better and accept this?

Sorry to hear this sweetie, trust me I've been there. The ones from the office are the worst. I actually ended up kissing my crush in the elevator at work and when I wouldn't go over to his place he ended up ghosting me. Seeing them everyday just rubs salt in the wound. However, the resistance of not wanting to think about him is creating more mental energy, and allowing him to linger in your energy field. The best thing is acceptance and distraction. Let yourself know that it's okay to think about him and that the thoughts will pass, but focus more on what you do want. Put reminders on your phone throughout the day that affirm whatever you want to attract. When you get stuck obsessing over crushes you block a true love from coming into your life. All the focus on him needs to be redirected to you, what are your dreams and hopes, what are you working towards? Channel your energy towards yourself, and men that actually want to date you and you will slowly release this man from your mind. 💕

[adviceformefromme]

Hello my dear. How do I heal my wounded feminine? I read through your posts on the subject and could relate to a lot of the self sabotaging behaviors listed because I did just that in my last relationship, which I believe ultimately drove my beaux away leaving me heartbroken. I would very much love to heal my feminine because the hurt has caused grief in my romantic and professional life, if you have any tips for a woman in need of some serious healing please let me know. Thank you so much.

Hey sweetie, this are some top tips:

1. Next time you get triggered. Stop, don't react. Don't lash out. Create space and figure out wtf is going on inside of you. Make the pain that comes up when the wounded feminine gets activated about YOU, not what he did / said, about you. Once you sit with yourself, you'll need to do some digging to see what happened in your past that is either a. allowing you to be in certain situations that are hurting you, or b. causing you to be sensitive / overreact to certain situations. Use a journal to connect with yourself and document your emotions.

2. Read / study. Self growth / development is essential. A woman who is focused on becoming her best version is going to be tapped into her feminine energy, she is healing, she is expanding. My fave reads are Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, and Women who Run with the Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola. Both amazing and inspiring books, they may/may not resonate with you. Either way, go to the book store and find some books that inspire you, that connect with you, that allow you to see things from another perspective and inspire change.

3. Notice the voice in your head. What does she say to you when you feel upset / triggered? Is she supportive, does she fear the worst? Is she judgemental? Whatever your inner voice sounds like, just start to notice. Once you're clear on your inner voice (which you may even notice imitates an abusive parent or someone controlling), you'll want to make steps to reprogram your inner voice. You want to become your own cheerleader, someone you can rely on, someone who loves you unconditionally, that doesn't put you down when you fuck up. Another thing to check out is re-parenting yourself (there's loads online, youtube etc on this topic).

4. Tap into your body. When you're operating from the wounded feminine you are in your head and thoughts and not focusing on how you feel. The empowered feminine is in touch with her body, she isn't caught up in the overthinking and stuck in her mind. She use's dance, and movement to stay grounded. Try making a playlist that makes you wanna move, and feel sexy, dance each day in the mirror, while you clean, in the shower. Not only does it feel good to move, it also gets the energy moving around the body. Imagine water in a lake that is stale and doesn't move. You want to be like the ocean, powerful, a life force, constantly moving and in flow.

5. MAKE TIME FOR YOUR HEALING AND GROWTH. One more time for those who didn't hear in the back. MAKE FUCKING TIME FOR YOUR HEALING AND GROWTH. Sorry if that sounded harsh, but honestly. Dedicating to your healing and growth will be the best investment you will ever make. Whatever you're going through right now, can 1000% be a thing of the past. I say that with confidence as I was an anxious, triggered, mess before I started doing the inner work. Healthy relationships exist, the very best version of you exists, she is within you, ready to live her best life right now. She's just waiting for you to let go of the excess baggage from the past and step into your power. 💕

Ps. My DMs are open if you want/need extra support on this xoxo

[adviceformefromme]

ok, my friend started texting this guy that i like on our conjoined account. i went along with it and he was eager to find out who it was. i was trying to do damage control because she started writing bold statements to him about me. through some way he figured out that it was us, but he doesn’t know her he only knows me. i have to see him today for a few hours because of some event and i have no clue what to do about the situation because i fear he will never talk to me again. he probably thinks i’m really weird and i was happy just liking him from afar. how can i deal with this level of embarrassment?

So the great thing about being human is you literally get to decide how you feel...You can wallow in the embarrassment, thinking this guy is thinking this or that about you orrrrrr you can actually pause yourself in your tracks and change the fucking script. So what some messages were sent, they didn't have your name attached to them? Learn to stop giving a fuck what people think. Just choose right now, 'I (insert name) do not give a fuck what (insert name) thinks about me'. Rinse and repeat it till your brain hurts. So much energy is consumed, and wasted thinking about what people think other people think about them. The truth is we are all so self centred we are just thinking about ourselves 100% of the time. So choose today, that embarrassment what? Embarrassment who? Not you sweetie. Own the day, own your life, and choose how you want to feel. 💕