#selfhealing strength wordsofwisdom growstrong loveisthedrug

[adviceformefromme]

i always love harder than what i receive. they love me but i dont think its the same as how i love them. it never is. i try to control it but my heart is a shattered mess

Hey sweetie, the answer will be to always give yourself the love you are seeking in others. Those people are mirroring back to you where you need to heal. That over extension of love you are handing out like free donuts is for you. You deserve to give that love to yourself. Imagine if you invested in your dreams and passions like you did in other people? Imagine if you really put yourself first above everything else like you do other people? Imagine how wholesome you would feel if you let others come forward and love you? Instead you lean forward and this leaves no room for them to lean into you. There needs to be space for someone to love you. You create that by loving on you, choosing you, prioritising you. I struggle with over extension of love, and life always teaches me the hard way this is not the answer. The answer will always be to put you first, choose you. Love on you, cherish you, admire you. As you do this, watch how quickly those around will follow lead. xoxox

[adviceformefromme]

When love is a loosing game… So your quest for love has resulted in meeting the most toxic, good-for-nothing, hurtful, damaging, requiring therapy (post encounter with said persons), leaving you emotionally, physically and financially in the gutter. These are all signs of loosing in love, and you the best thing you can do when you’re in this situation is focusing on a winning strategy. 

Rule number one. Stop the chasing. Stop the obsessing. You don't want be attracting love from an empty cup. Redirect your energy to your own love story, your own passions, your own hearts desires. This is going to elevate your energy so you’re not attracting from the gutter. You start attracting from a place of higher love. Self love.

Rule number two. Reinvent yourself. If you’ve had a lifetime of failed relationships it’s time for a new look. Start seeing a new reflection in the mirror. Let go of the old you, start seeing yourself as someone who wins, who loves their reflection when they look in the mirror, someone who is confident, someone who is totally in love with that they see. If you’re not there yet do the fucking work, change your wardrobe, your hair, whiten your teeth, get the Invisalign. Whatever it is for you. Switching up your image and becoming as confident as possible is going to elevate your energy. 

Rule number three. Start focusing on what you can give and let go of what you can get. A lot of failure when it comes to love is because we're focusing on so hard what we can take from the other person, seeing them as an ATM, or how we can use their body for our needs. This is low vibration energy and is going to keep us in the gutter when it comes to love. What do you have to offer in a relationship? Are you loving? Do you have an expanded mind, interesting conversation, are you an asset yourself? Do you radiate loving energy or are you toxic yourself? Start thinking of the person you want to show up as, and let go of the take and focus on the giving. 

Rule number four. Stop withholding your heart, your voice, your truth. Every time you fear speaking on how you feel you’re sending out a signal to the universe that your words are not important, that staying small is more important than being seen. How is your true love ever going to see you if you don’t allow yourself to be seen? So what if you fail, or embarrass yourself. Is it not more important to be true to your heart and live with no regrets than keeping your heart closed and playing small, keeping you away from the very thing you desire? A loving connection? If you can’t speak your truth and say how you feel are you even ready for a lasting love? 

Rule number five. Stop ignoring the RED flags. Focus on compatibility, understanding values, lifestyle match. These points are all to be established in the dating phase. Instead of smiling like a Cheshire Cat on these dates, getting swept away by the ACT that these men (and women) put on during the dating phase. Start dating with your A game. Suss out if it’s worth entertaining the guy that calls his ex ‘crazy’, or that hates eating out when this is what you absolutely love. Start being smarter, move better, and learn to win when it comes to love. 

[adviceformefromme]

You want something to love, control, obsess over, feel motivated by. Why can’t that be you? Don’t you deserve that level of effort? Don’t you deserve that level of consistency? So much energy spent on impressing others, focusing on others, desiring others but what about your goals, dreams, desires, future? Do they not count? I know this is more complex than a paragraph of writing but the person you have been looking for all this time is you. The person you are hoping to meet to make you more fulfilled is you. You have to meet yourself halfway. You have to get up in the morning and check-in with you, keep the energy high for you. you have to choose you over and over again. And I promise you, once you invest in this new relationship with you, this relationship will be more meaningful than anything you have ever invested in your life.

[adviceformefromme]

One of the biggest misconceptions about love is that it’s limited to romantic relationships. Love is a universal energy. Love is literally everywhere. It’s there in the morning when you smile at sunrise in awe of the vast pink skies. It’s that fuzzy feeling inside when you discover your favourite new song and can’t help but play it on repeat. It’s handing the homeless lady that spare bottle of water in your bag because you have no change to give, it’s supporting a friend in need, it’s taking time out for yourself to be creative (however that looks for you) . Love is all these things and so much more. Love is not refined to one person you are dating /married /crushing on. Love is so vast, love is everywhere, and love is yours for the taking.

[adviceformefromme]

Recognise what parts of you do not feel whole, because those parts are vulnerable to manipulation, and those are the parts of you that really need attention, love and care. They are the weaker muscles that need strengthening daily. They are the insecurities that you need to overcome. You don’t need to wait until next time you are wounded to start this work. It starts today, it starts with you. Brick by brick you are building a strong base so that the external world can no longer tear you down.