#affection starved boy

[lavenoon]

Woke from a nightmare n decided to check Tumblr before passing out again. I saw you mentioned wanting more Eclipse Asks 👀

Please please please tell us more about the boy :0 I would love to know more about that tall fidgeting mess of a man!

Okie now I go pass out again, cyaaaa o/ 💤

@naffeclipse

I have been enabled.

Eclipse, in short, is a mess. He copes well enough, but his insecurities have been there from the beginning - they were predestined, with how he came to be.

Sun and Moon used to have a shared mode, before they decided it would be better for their sanity to just let the other do his thing and remain in rest mode. It was a blend of their AIs, making verbal communication unnecessary. Immediate understanding and combined planning skills, it did help them out of a few pickles (though they didn't get into too many, before this job).

And technically, they can still enter that mode.

They don't, because continued use of that "Eclipse" mode, with that blend of AIs where not even their system could differentiate where one ends and one begins, caused their AI to split into three one time.

Eclipse came into existence, trapped within a mind that wasn't his own, a miracle in a way, but received with shock and hostility. Neither of them expected him, least of all he himself!

That's why he's so curious, with that insatiable thirst for knowledge. If he's possible, what else might be? What else might be out there, ready to be found? Ready to be created?

But of course, there's the insecurity. The terrible need to compete with his brothers to prove himself vs the endless fear of falling short compared to them, again and again. He got them their job but what they do he'll never be good at, he's the taller one with more limbs but his battery is spotty at best, barely keeping him together well enough. They didn't want him in their head, and he didn't want to be in their head, and they got him a rush-job of a body (that I'll get to, too). They're all happy with the separation, but none of them were happy with the need for one.

Even if everyone wants him to have his own body, it's hard not to feel rejected, hard not to feel unwanted. The lingering tension remains even after the separation, and only exacerbates the problem. They don't want him, even when he's his own person. They pushed him out, because he'll never be good enough for them. They're all he has, and he is so so scared of them never accepting him. Maybe they just tolerate him, because they feel responsible - but would they choose him, if they ever had the option? Between his existence and non-existence, which one would they opt for? He's scared to ask.

It's tense, this relationship with his brothers. He pretends to be unaffected, like any younger sibling may pretend the approval of their older, cooler siblings may not matter. But he craves it so much. He wants to be wanted, wants to be accepted, wants to be loved - who doesn't?

Sun and Moon don't hate him. They're not quite sure, at first, but he is their little (annoying) brother. They care for him, want him to be safe, and when push comes to shove, they'd help him out no question. "No you can't wear my shirt but I'll help you hide a body" sibling dynamic.

There's also some guilt, at first - he wasn't meant to exist, and his AI was a strange mix of theirs and his few own experiences. Faulty, some might say, not fully developed. But he's doing fine these days, if a little clueless about social cues and a bit too happy to set things on fire, so the guilt really disappeared. It's better for Eclipse, too - he really hated being pitied for existing.

It gets a bit better when they live apart, because they don't serve as constant reminders for each other. Eclipse still has his brothers with him - the necklace I drew him with was not a coincidence, even if he claims that "a combined Sun and Moon pendant just means Eclipse. It's a me necklace".

Still makes sure they're okay, developing gloves for them that give them that extra grip during parkour, and making sure all his little gadgets make it to them. (And if they get some confidential blueprints in the mail for their own little workshop, well, he always was loose-lipped for someone without lips) (He needs them to be okay. This is how he can make sure - and if they build his designs, well, that's approval, too, right?)

Sun and Moon also are still there for him. They play up the annoyance sometimes, but they do care for him.

Especially considering that well, his "health" issues are kind of their fault. The body was a rush job - he has "narcolepsy", or rather the animatronic equivalent. The lower his battery goes, the higher the chance that his system will recognize it as dangerously low, and push him into rest mode. He always makes sure to be fully charged for work, because even if the rest mode spells only take a few moments to a minute, it's risky in a lab environment to randomly pass out.

He's saving for a replacement - but it's slow going, with all the other repairs he necessitates and with all the fun things to buy in the world. He's just a bit of a hoarder, attracted by colorful and shiny things, and of course, anything he can fidget with.

Him and Y/N... They're good, really! But despite all the cues he misses, it's glaringly obvious that his brothers are very interested, so he just isn't. Not romantically, at least. He's not interested in fighting that battle, only losing to his brothers who live and work with them, so rather inserts himself into a unique role that his brothers don't already fill. But they like him, they accept him, and at times even seek him out - first about inventions and gadgets, then about funny stories (dirt) about Sun and Moon, and then just to chat sometimes. It reassures him that even with them in the picture, he's not out of it, partly due to their own efforts to include him

They're all four a family, with time. Having Y/N in the mix lightens the mood, and keeps them all from constantly thinking about all what was, and instead enjoy the moment, or even plan for the future.

With Moon being the only one who doesn't lie about scars, any family reunions are hell for him while he's out - because Eclipse and Y/N are just inventing crazier and crazier stories, that somehow are totally unrelated to the real cause of the scars they sport, "For the bit, Moon, it's for the bit" "He wouldn't get it, don't try" "Can't appreciate a good story. He's still mad I got creative before". By then it's not even like they try to convince anyone, they just think of it like a creative exercise!

Sun and Moon may act a little annoyed that Eclipse and Y/N get along so well, but they realize quickly that their brother isn't interested in their little rival like that, and then it's just... A relief. The two people in their life they can't imagine living without get along, why would they complain? They may enable each other, and someone should keep an eye on where the fire extinguisher is, but they're glad things are looking up for their little family, at last

And they'll all be okay, with time <3

[loafofryebread]

there is something so terrifying about wanting to be held, a years deep ache in my bones, like a child sobbing pleading for someone to notice, to care.

come here darling, I swear I will not bite, come here please, smooth away the cracks in my skin, piece me back together with the gold of your love, like the japanese would repair their pottery.

there is something so vulnerable about wanting to be touched, undoing me with a mere brush of the fingers, peeling back my layers like the skin of an orange, and each golden segment of my soul, is an offering (i love you).

oh, do you think you could hold me? just this once? kiss the backs of my knees when they ache? trace the divots of my spine like exploring a foreign land? memorize the shape of my nose, my jaw, my eyes, turning the terrain of my body into something familiar.

Perhaps it is selfish of me to ask for such a thing, I have always been a rather demanding creature, a dog, scratching at the door, begging to be let in.

I will be gentle I swear, curl up in your chest, your ribcage can be a temple, your heart the god I bow before, praying you might hold me, if only for a little while.

[preseriesdean]

DEAN + AFFECTION

[ferahntics]

The smallest gestures can move mountains for someone.

[taikanyohou]

“You did very well this time.” Li Dai Kun As Xie Wang. WORD OF HONOR (2021) - Episode 16.

[thesiblingsoftheblackandwhite]

Oh are we shooting our shots?

Wiggly, I wrote this for you.

Your tentacles twirl and move,

And you sway in the deep.

Your eyes that shine from below,

Sink my soul to sleep.

Let me wrap you in my embrace,

And caress you in the night.

I'll help keep you warm,

In the dark of the Black and White.

The Lords cackle with bright laughter. All except Wiggog Y’wrath. He yanks off his crown and attempts to hide behind it.

Caress??? Your… ‘poetry’ is on the higher end of the spectrum. I guess. Wonderful words about tentacles I no longer have.

[sapoteylx]

peter and tony r just idiots and i hate them

[un-bear-ably-weird]

Me? Make fanart of a kids movie? Its more likely then you think.

[recitedemise]

𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲. Even as a child, Gale struggled to find steadfast friends. He had rambled too much, was a prodigious student among overly envious wizard boys, and honestly, to make sure he kept in the good graces of most, he, with some practice, hammered a mold. He didn't wear a mask, of course, more leaning on concealing his more 'unsavory' quirks, but it was not unlike walking like just half of he was--offering, essentially, the more 'palatable' parts. He was proud, sure, riling his share of more insecure peers, but he was good at magic, obnoxiously good, and in time, people weathered that pride to essentially ride his coattails. As Mystra's chosen, however, that doubled in force. He learned to hide himself, learned he was loved exclusively for magic. He made more friends among those lonely evenings in his tower, growing familiar with the voice of long dead authors and finding, of course, fulfillment in words. In fact, his idea of romance comes largely from words. It's partly why when smitten, he's such traditional ideas. He's not socially inept, mind you, but many of his thoughts come taken from stories, and if asked, he'd admit to having his heart steeped a touch in romanticism--though age, blessedly, has tempered the naive.

With the orb, unfortunately, he learned to quell himself only further. Gale could only feel so much, a terrible weight for a man who longs most to be seen and heard. Again, he'd further stemmed his excitements, his babbling passions and the stars in his eyes, and even despair and heartache were halved or quartered, or else, of course, the orb would burst. Now, he's learned not to be burden, that on top of being something half of himself. Suddenly, Gale being Gale wasn't just halfway a nuisance, but Gale being Gale could be more than inconvenient--Gale of Waterdeep is now plainly catastrophic.

Gale doesn't exactly hate himself, but it's hard for him to think anyone would like him for him. He's so starved to show himself just as he is--and it's partly why he rushes to give himself over completely when the moment's right.

[sodaquail]

I wish that EP 60 could have been extended for like a scene. .Chip and Price could have sat in some grungy ass cluttered office (that Price likes to pretend is fancy) and drink fine wine straight from the bottle. Just like they used to in Skullslice, only it tastes better now. I know quite well that price would have had to drag in there, demanding that at least he gets a TALK before Chip runs off to abandon him and be a pirate again. I want them to snarl and taunt eachother. I want Price to make fun of him and act like an annoying older brother until he gets the slightest bit too angry, until Chip hits the wrong button. Until they both remember why he left. Until Chip's gripping the cold handles of his sword, spitting that he'll "Do that fuckin' chore," and that "you better not follow me" the door closes, and curtains flutter as Chip leaves, again. Maybe Reuben punches a wall, wishing it was Chip's face - maybe if he were faster he could have gotten one in before his brother left again, again - but what's done is done. And Chip is gone, for now, for a few hours until he slips back in through the front door and holds up that eye. I don't think Reuben's big plan - pulling another power play over Chip, extorting him and hurting his loved ones just to soothe the burn that came with Chip escaping and tearing himself away from the "loving" grip, bloody and half-dead - feels so good anymore. And he spends the rest of the night waiting for Chip to come back with his prize, salivating over different ideas where he could finally regain his control. Unable to cope with the fact that Chip has somewhere to go other than him, doesn't have to surrender to be an accomplice, a victim, a tool to extort an ego-boost and reassurance of lasting comfort from.

I would also like to think that in the first few minutes of that talk over a tablecloth and aged wine, Chip tricked himself into thinking it would go half decent. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all, but it only takes a few minutes and a misstep to bring himself back to reality

[castiellesbian]

Dean reaching out to hold that Amazon woman's hand while they have sex. Babyboy.

[frozenambiguity]

Sometimes, all a silly captain secretely wants is to be pampered... Just sometimes.

[deadlifeseries]

So unlike you

Oh boy oh boy angst time. This was requested by my mutual @callisto-moon-bot150 she asked for angst with a happy ending, involving Prowl and Bulkhead arguing.

Honestly it was hard to think of something they'd argue about but i figured it out, this ficlet takes place during\after that one episode where Prowl teams up with Lockdown and has a sort of craze for mods.

"Prowl?.... PROWL! What do you think you're doing?! You can't go after Starscream alone!" Bulkhead looked towards the sky at the small ship that Prowl took to go after the allspark signal on the moon.

"Don't worry, Bulkhead. I know what I'm doing, I have the emp and stasis cuffs there's nothing to worry about". Prowl's tone was as calm as ever, but something about the confidence in his voice felt different. Prowl wasn't one to doubt his abilities, but he was never cocky. Now his words were laced with the kind of overconfidence that Bulkhead wold moreso expect from Bumblebee.

Soon thereafter Prowl went into complete radio silence. Of course this worried everyone, especially Bulkhead. But they could still pick up his energy signature and no distress calls so they all hoped for the best.

But nobody could have guessed what would happen next.

To see Lockdown again was bad on it's own, to see Lockdown with Prowl was worse. But to see Prowl and Lockdown working together? It made the fact there now somehow was two of Sarscream into nothing more than an afterthough.

"Prowl... what are you doing?! Why are you working with Lockdown?!" Optimus stared in disbelief at Prowl. Ratchet looked a lot more angry "and why do you have all of those..." he vaguely geastured towards Prowl "...things?"

Prowl deflected all of his teammates' comments, and they didn't have any time to argue with multiple Starscreams to deal with. During the whole ordeal Prowl acted so unlike himself that it felt like he was someone else.

In the end he snapped out of it and threw aside all the mods that he borrowed from Lockdown. But it wasn't that easy for everyone else to forget it...

Prowl was firstly scolded and grilled with questions. And he understood that, he really did and he didn't argue about it. But even after that he could still feel the distrust coming from his teammates. As much as they tried to hide it it was obvious that everyone was still worried about if this was a sign of worse things to come. Prowl understood that too, he wasn't oblivious to how the others could see this as some sort of implication.

But what really hurt was the distrust from Bulkhead. It was like he was avoiding Prowl, and as much as it hurt Prowl really didn't have a hard time rationalizing it. Bulkhead was the one who told him not to go alone, and Prowl remembered acutely the look of betrayal he got from Bulkhead when they saw each other after Prowl returned.

It was the worst punishment of all. To have the person who's supposed to love the most you avoid you completely. Prowl tried to talk thing out, he wanted so badly to apologise, to beg for forgiveness. But every time Bulkhead would just talk for as short as possible, or avoided talking all together.

This lasted for days, and it was absolutely unbearable. Everyone else was slowly moving on from it, except for Bulkhead and it was driving Prowl insane. It made the worst case scenarios play through his head on repeat. Did this mean the end? Did this mean that Bulkhead didn't want to be together anymore? The thought made Prowl's spark clench, how could he have ever even though of somthing so idiotic? He should've listened, he should've stayed and not gone out on his own.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. One evening Prowl went to Bulkhead's room, he took a deep breath an knocked on the door. He entered slowly, looking at Bulkhead with both anxiety and hope. Seeing the way that Bulkhead looked at him cut deeper than any blade.

"Bulkhead.... I... came to apologise" Prowl was hoping so dearly that Bulkhead would listen. "You were right, I shouldn't have gone out on my own, I should've never even considered working with Lockdown. Please, how can I make it up to you? Please, talk to me", his voice was pleading as he hoped so deeply to get any sort of response.

When he didn't get any response he sighed and hanged his head in defeat, "I... understand, if this means.. the end, then I'll accept it", Prowl turned around and was about to leave the room when Bulkhead spoke up.

"I was so worried about you", he spoke quietly, but with a slur of emotions in his voice. He turned to look at Prowl "I thought that the worst had happened when you would't respond. And when you did come back you acted so... unlike yourself... I thought I'd lose you in a different way".

Prowl looked positively baffled, he took a step closer to Bulkhead "you... though that i would..." he searched for the right way to say it "... go with Lockdown? Become like him? Bulkhead, I... I could never. Yes, I admit I acted like an absolute fool but I could never do something like that".

Bulkhead still looked apprehensive but didn't look away from Prowl, didn't object to Prowl approaching him. Prowl took it as a good sign, and continued "I'm so sorry, you were right! I should have listened to you! I acted like an idiot... please forgive me, I'll do anything" he was almost on his knees. If begging is what it took then by god he'd beg.

Bulkhead stood up, and walked up to Prow, "Anything?".

"Yes! Anything! Anything it takes!" Bulkhead's willingnees to talk made Prowl hopeful, when he said he'd do anything he meant it.

Bulkhead took another step forwards and grabbed Prowl, holding him close to his chest. "Never scare me like that again. I know I can't force you do listen to me but just... promise me that".

Prowl immediatly wrapped his arms around Bulkhead's neck, even if it had only been a few days since they last heald each other it was still far too long. "I promise, I promise I'll listen more, and i won't pull any stunts like that ever again", he said this wholehearthedly. This was a lesson that he wouldn't forget.

"Thanks. And uhm, sorry for the silent treatment... I just didn't know how to react" Bulkhead looked a lot more at ease and he leaned in to kiss Prowl.

Prowl accepted the affection like it was what kept him alive, "I understand, though I must admit these past few days must have been the worst ones of my life". He couldn't resist, he kept kissing Bulkhead like there was no tomorrow. It was almost hard to believe that he's normally so distant with everyone.

And it seemed like Bulkhead also didn't like the consequenses of his silent treatment, because he seemes equally as needy for attention. "Yeah, mine too. Now come here, I'm not letting you go until we've both had our fill", he smiles and picks Prowl up, holding him close.

With that it was like whatever invisible wall that stood between them fell. They held onto each other as if letting go would kill them, they exchanged kisses and words of adoration like they needed it more than anything else.

"I'm never giving you the silent treatment again", Bulkhead chuckled a little to himself "honestly, I wanted to stop after a day and a half. You're real irresistible you know that?".

Prowl was already flustered but hearing that only made it worse. He laughed and smiled warmly, it was rare sight but he couldn't help it when Bulkhead was so damn charming. "Likewise, I know I act very distant a lot of the time but now I simply can't imagine a life without you", he leaned in and kissed Bulkhead, this time more passionatley, "but enough talking, I have a few days worth of attentoin to catch up on".

[fatuismooches]

HELOO SMOOCHES!!

From Sick!Harbingers HCs I'm now obsessed with idea of Pantalone not knowing what to do and how to react when someone sincerely cares about him

Like... A lot of soldiers work under him, do whatever he orders to but he knows it's not from genuine care, but out of fear and respect

When he was a child, no one cared. Whatever he was sick, hungry, tired, injured - work or die, that's how life works. From childhood he learned how to be independent and that you can't rely on anyone, but yourself

But then there's you!! Who always makes sure he doesn't forget to eat, drink and rest!! Who makes him take a break when he overworks, makes him homemade meals because you just KNOW he's drowning in all kinds of work, asks how his day was when he returns from work and you always patiently listen to whatever he says.

At first he takes your affection with a grain of salt, but eventually not only gets used to it, but also longs for it - Regrator is extremely affection-and touch-starved, so be sure to give him lots of love!!

-👾 anon, hehe

I AM WHOLLY COMPLETELY FULLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA THANK YOU 👾 ANON (AND WELCOME!!💖)

Ahh you are so right ;( All his childhood he'd been neglected and uncared for, and even now that's still somewhat true since he knows no one genuinely looks out for him beside himself. Which is understandable. Pantalone's grown used to it anyway. But then you come in? Break down all his walls and expectations? He doesn't believe or buy it for a second (at first) because he's heavily guarded and his past affects him more than he lets on but you're so genuine it's almost painful because he's never quite experienced something like this before so it feels weird and hurts but in a good kinda way. You're so ready to stay by his side even when he tries to push you away and just ;( Yea. It's a lot for him and it's a slow process but keep it going and eventually, he'll warm up to you so much to the point he's keeping you hostage on his lap while he does paperwork (you've fallen asleep there many times.)

[litlunacy]

Fynn: ...does that mean I can ask for a hug? Like, I know you wouldn't have a drink with me at the party, but I think I could use a hug. You look like you give nice hugs.

Nice to know I was right about Fynn thinking Sceleritas was a hallucination. Funny he still calls him one even though he has the physical proof of his existence right there on his shoulders (I love that cape. so much). But also, he really does need a hug, Halsin.

[ruthless-rainbow]

Hc that when Theo's had a particularly awful day, Liam always knows. And his way of comforting Theo is by them both laying down, whether that be on the couch, in bed, hell in the back or bed of Theo's truck. And he brings Theo to lay his head on his chest. Theo's ear resting right over his heart. Liam's steady breathing, heart beat and fingers carding through his hair soothe him. Sometimes Liam will speak softly to him. About anything, everything, and nothing. Until Theo feels better. No matter how long it takes.