#after my back stops hurting from shrimp posture at least

[monpalace]

Songbird’s style is def that of Lynn from girlfriends imho also your art is beautiful

agghh ty 🫶🏽🫶🏽‼️ have a doodle of twi and songbird bc im indecisive on how i want to draw him (i will never draw him in his ordon outfit)

[unlockthelore]

Need an Icebreaker?

“Are you sure you’re Hiei’s kid?” Kuwabara asked, lifting the smiling infant in the air and grinning as her tiny hands reached out for his face.

With thick pitch-black hair that curled at the ends and big bright green eyes flecked with bits of gold; he had to admit that she did look a little like Hiei with a bit of Kurama in there too. Kuwabara was used to Kurama’s quiet and controlled chuckling and Hiei’s menacing cackling but hers was bubbly and infectious. To say that she was always happy would’ve been an understatement and even now, she was giving him a big smile as she tried to reach for his hair.

“You smile way too much to be related to that grump.” Kuwabara cooed, bringing her a bit closer to his face.

One of her hands grabbed hold of his hair and though she didn’t yank it, she did try to pull it closer to her mouth. Kuwabara wrinkled his nose, remembering Kurama’s warning about her hair-pulling, and gently pulling his hair out of her grip. It messed up his do but when she gave him that sunny smile, it was hard to be mad at her.

The locks on the front door turned and Kuwabara tucked her close to his chest as he got up, heading to the entry hall. Her fists curled in his shirt as she teetered backward, peeking with him around the corner as the door opened. Yukina walking through dressed in her training garbs, bandages wrapped around her wrists, a bandaid on her cheek and her clothes torn in a few places but otherwise she seemed fine.

“Hey, Aunt Yukina’s home!”

Yukina stiffened up and looked over as Kuwabara walked closer.

“Hiei brought Aiko?” Yukina asked, looking from Kuwabara to Aiko, smiling as the little girl reached out for her.

“Yeah, said he had to take care of some stuff for Mukuro and Kurama’s at work, so he dropped her off with us.”

Carefully taking Aiko from Kuwabara, she held her close to her chest and pressed a kiss to her forehead, nuzzling her head as the girl giggled. Kuwabara was happy enough to wait his turn, a flutter in his chest at watching the two of them. Yukina glanced up at him and shifted Aiko to her hip, crooking a finger and Kuwabara leant down, their lips meeting and he leant into the comfortable chill. Despite the cold, Yukina’s lips were soft and smooth, whereas his own were a little chapped. She didn’t seem to mind though. A little smile curving her lips as they parted, warm crimson eyes meeting his own and Kuwabara could’ve sworn that his heart skipped a beat. Her gaze shifted to Aiko as she brushed past, bouncing the little girl on her hip to hear her laugh.

“He did call me but I was driving back so I couldn’t answer.”

Kuwabara shoved his hands in his pockets as he followed along, making little faces at Aiko as she lit up giggling and swaying in Yukina’s hold. The program on the TV looked like another kid’s show and Yukina settled down in front of the television with Aiko in her lap. Kuwabara pressed the button to stop the fan. With Yukina in the room, the temperature dropped a few degrees and he didn’t need them freezing. Although Aiko didn’t seem bothered by the Ice Maiden’s body temperature.

“Were you both alright?” Yukina asked, supporting Aiko’s back with her arm and letting the little girl toy with her fingers as she regarded Kuwabara.

Kuwabara grinned, leaning closer to them, poking the middle of Aiko’s forehead. “Yeah, we were having a great time, weren’t we Aiko?”

He wiggled his fingers in front of her face and Aiko looked up, holding Yukina’s index finger with one hand and reaching for Kuwabara’s with the other. He pulled it out of her reach then inched it closer, trying not to coo over the little furrow in her brow. Eventually he let his finger linger a bit too long and she grasped it tightly, cheering and kicking her feet.

“See?”

Yukina giggled and brushed the tip of her finger against her niece’s cheek. “Well that’s good.”

“How’re things going in the Reikai?” Kuwabara asked, settling close to Yukina’s side and wiggling his finger to keep Aiko occupied.

Yukina huffed and rolled her eyes. “Fine, the new recruits are learning how to dodge at the least.”

Kuwabara bit back a chuckle. Whenever she looked like that, she reminded him a lot of Hiei. Finding out the two of them were twins wasn’t as surprising when you looked a bit closer. They had a lot of similarities although Yukina could be a lot colder than Hiei could be. She was also a hell of a lot more polite, although sometimes her politeness could be a little biting. They talked a bit more about the minutiae of their days. Kuwabara explaining all that he and Aiko had been up to from doing some shopping to stopping by Kurama’s mother’s place so that she could play with the baby for a bit.

All the while, Yukina’s eyes were focused on Aiko and she hummed at different points in his story. A snowflake formed in the center of Yukina’s palm had the little girl relinquishing the Ice Maiden’s finger to watch as the snowflake twirled about and lifted in the air. Aiko’s eyes widened and her lips parted, tiny hands reaching for the snowflake and Yukina brought her hand closer. Once it was within her grasp, Aiko held it curiously then brought it closer to her mouth and before Kuwabara could stop her, she stuck it in her mouth with a little wiggle of her legs likely from the cold.

Kuwabara gaped. “H-Hey, don’t put that in your mouth.”

“It’s alright, Kazuma. It’s just water and it won’t hurt her.” Yukina rubbed Aiko’s back, shaking her head. “I used to do the same thing when I was younger.”

Kuwabara’s attention turned to Yukina. She rarely talked about her life on Hyouga or her childhood. Most questions were either deflected or she’d give a slight smile, a curt answer and then continue with what she was doing. He often wondered what life must have been like for her as a kid. His assumption that Hiei didn’t have a lot of friends growing up was surprisingly and sadly accurate, but Yukina was the only kid of her generation without Hiei around from what he could understand, so what did that mean for her?

“Have you ever thought of having kids of your own, Yukina?”

The Ice Maiden gently, yet firmly, pulled Aiko’s fingers from her mouth. “Actually, yes,” Yukina said slowly, quiet for a moment before she looked at him. “I would rather not.”

Kuwabara winced and rubbed the back of his head. “Really?”

Yukina hesitated, looking him over as if gauging whether she wanted to have this conversation or not, and he wondered what his expression must’ve been. It was true that he did want a relationship with Yukina and the idea of having a family with her excited him. However, his “fated love” wasn’t a fairy tale experience and he recalled Hiei’s warning with startling accuracy.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing.” Kuwabara raised his hand and the tension in Yukina’s posture slowly ebbed away. “Just how come?”

Yukina’s gaze wandered to Aiko as the little girl rocked back and forth, looking everywhere else but at them, still entertaining herself by holding onto Kuwabara’s finger. The ice maiden’s features softened and her eyes were warmer, another snowflake forming in her hand and held out for the little girl’s interest. When Aiko squealed, Yukina smiled and Kuwabara’s heart fluttered.

“Children are wonderful but because of how a koorime is born, there is often pressure for the next generation,” Yukina began, shifting her legs and easing Aiko closer to her chest, brushing her lips against the soft messy locks atop the girl’s head. “Thinking of how I was raised, I worry over how my own children might fare.”

Kuwabara swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “I doubt you’d be the same as the people who raised you, you’d be a great mother!” Kuwabara grinned, hoping that its as reassuring.

Yukina glanced at him from the corner of her eye. “If I am, I would rather be a mother to a child who doesn’t have one. My brother was abandoned, he had no one. I had Rui and she wasn’t my mother by creation but she was my mother by the love and care that she gave me.”

Her voice softened as Aiko’s hand pressed against her cheek, crimson eyes lowering to the pair of green ones that looked up at her.

“And the truth she told me.”

Kuwabara nodded slowly. The people who raised Yukina were the same ones who decided it’d be a great idea to chuck Hiei off a cliff. Thinking about that, no wonder the shrimp had grown up to be as hotheaded and abrasive as he was. He was literally thrown to the wolves and Yukina had to find that out later. Probably after growing up thinking that she was the only one. He could tell that it cut deep with both of them. Their auras changed when subjects of family were brought up and when Aiko was born, it was like something shifted between them. Like they’d been holding a breath and she gave them a reason to let it go.

They’d been closer ever since she came into the world. More so than they’d been before, and while it made him happy to see them happy, it worried him.

“So, you’d rather adopt?”

“If possible.”

Kuwabara turned to look at the television and smiled. “That sounds good to me.”

“Really?” Yukina asked, and there’s an oddly hopeful tone to her voice that wrenches at Kuwabara’s heart.

“Mm!” Kuwabara smiled at her widely. “I don’t care how we have a family, just as long as it’s together, and we’re both okay with it.”

Besides, they already had a crazy enough family and he was more than happy to uncle Yusuke and Hiei and Kurama’s kids.

“We already have Eikitchi and Eikitchi Jr. so in a way, we’re already parents.” Kuwabara pointed out, looking over at the older cat curled up on her bed beneath the window. The little kitten with a similar brown coat and white underbelly curled up beside her.

Yukina giggled and Kuwabara looked at her, eyebrow raised.

“What’s so funny?”

The ice maiden smiled and Kuwabara felt his face growing hotter at the picture in front of him. Aiko looked up at him and reached out for his face while Yukina’s adoring smile matched the brightness in her eyes. He wasn’t sure just what he said but it must have been something good. And hell, he’d say it again if it got her to smile at him like that.

[britishassistant]

Nana: Part 2

Disclaimer: All Nanbaka characters are property of Futamata Shou. I just wrote about them.

Hani bristled as he felt his latest annoyance ran over to him. Just when he was about to trounce Uno at darts again! Sure he may have lost the past two games, but darts were Hani’s specialty. He wasn't about to get beaten by that shrimp-haired bastard on his home turf!

Nana stopped about a foot from him, looking on curiously as he lined up his shot. “Kiji-San said I needed to come over here to make friends.”

“What the hell for? You’ve already got Nanba’s number one heartthrob for a cell mate.” Hani grunted, examining the board carefully. His arm tensed to throw.

“He said that you and Trois-San are bad influences. Because you steal bras and he steals panties.” Hani’s shot veered wildly at the blasé accusation. “Are you winning?”

“NOT ANYMORE I’M NOT!!” Hani roared, outraged. The nerve of this kid, throwing around such a baseless allegation! “Besides, why would I stoop to stealing worthless upper underwear?! Everyone knows that panties are the pinnacle of a man’s dream!!”

Nana looked thoroughly unimpressed by his heartfelt claim. “So what? You’re still a perverted underwear thief regardless.”

Hani scoffed. “Whatever. I wouldn't expect a kid whose balls haven't dropped yet to understand.”

Nana reddened in shame at the truth in his words, mouth gaping as he tried and failed to come up with a comeback. Hani enjoyed the small sense of satisfaction from being able to shut one of his cell mates up at least, even if his throw had to be ruined to do it.

Just then the shrimp-bastard decided to interject himself into a conversation that didn't involve him, and clamped a hand on Hani’s shoulder. “Jeez, and I thought you just had a bad attitude! A pervert on top of being short-tempered— no wonder you had to steal women’s underwear, they probably wouldn't go near you otherwise.”

“I HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE WITH THEM THAN YOU, SHRIMP-BASTARD!! AND DON’T TOUCH ME!!” Hani swiped at the hand on his person. Nothing pissed him off more than Uno’s shit-eating grin—

“Wow, Hani-kun even looks good defending his reprehensible habits and bad luck with women!”

—Except, perhaps, for Trois’s infuriating put-downs that he said with a sweet tone and a sincere smile. “Trois, you BAASTAAARD!!!!”

Uno pretended to wiggle a finger in his ear. “Noisy as always, huh? It’s probably a miracle I haven't gone deaf yet from arrow-head over here.” He held out a hand to Hani’s latest annoyance. “By the way, it’s nice to meet you. I’m prisoner number 11, but call me Uno.”

“I-I’m number 0307, but Hani-San a-and Trois-San call me Nana. I’m their new cell mate.” Nana stuttered slightly, returning the handshake. Which was weird, because this was the first time Hani had ever heard Nana trip over his words. “I-I’m very sorry, y-you probably get asked this a lot, but a-are you from England?”

Uno grinned and scratched a cheek with a finger. “You can tell from the accent, huh? Yeah, I’m from a place called Birmingham— probably don't know where that is though—“

“I know where that is!” Nana insisted, sounding more fired up than Hani had previously seen him. “I-I’ve never been there, but I could find it on a map! I’m from a small village between Essex and Hertfordshire.”

For some reason, the grin on Uno’s face became a mega-watt beam. “Seriously?! Man, it’s been a while since someone from my country came to Nanba! Everyone here is Japanese, American or Chinese.”

“My beautiful self is French.” Trois interjected from where he was trying to teach the human lock-pick how to play billiards.

“I-I’m German.” The fire guy from New Year’s added tentatively from where he was playing mahjong with the braided chinaman and the trap guard.

“I’m from Texas!” The green-haired brat from 13 yelled cheerfully, waving his game console.

“Pretty sure that is America, Nico!” The gambler called back fondly. He turned to the kid. “Anyway, welcome to Nanba! I’m this prison’s number one heartthrob.”

“…You know, that’s the third time I’ve heard that phrase since I came here.” The boy’s tone was more than a little exasperated, but still upbeat. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Uno-San.”

Nana’s eyes were practically goddamn sparkling and his smile almost matched Uno’s for intensity. The way he was looking at the shrimp-bastard, was almost like…

“Oh HELL no.” Hani bodily forced himself between the two, and steered Nana away from the shrimp-haired bastard towards Trois. “No, no, no. Fuck NO.”

“Hani-San, what—?” Nana protested, trying to dig his heels in.

“That’s Hani-Senpai to you!” They were off the coast of Japan, so he at least should get to be called by the proper honorific as the senior inmate, like in Ninja Kamikaze, dammit!

He safely deposited one annoyance away from the other, and spun the boy around to face him, hands an iron grip on his shoulders. The look on Hani’s face was slightly manic, the arrows in his hair jabbing the air wildly.

“Listen to me. I don't fucking care if you wanna be all buddy-buddy because you come from the same shitty country or whatever—under NO circumstances are you allowed to start mimicking that cowardly, cheating, plain-looking shrimp bastard!”

He already had to deal with Uno in the recreation room. Hani wasn't going to chance having a mini-version in his cell with him.

Nana blinked, a stupefied look crossing his face. “…What?!”

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING PLAIN-LOOKING, YOU STUPID ARROW ASSHOLE!!” The aforementioned cowardly, cheating, plain-looking shrimp bastard screeched.

“YOU HEARD ME YOU THIRD-RATE BRAIDED IDIOT!!!” Hani bellowed in return. “STOP TRYING TO CORRUPT MY CELLMATES WITH YOUR WEIRD UNATTRACTIVE STUPIDITY, YOU LIMEY BASTARD!!!”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP BEFORE I COME OVER THERE TO BEAT YOUR ASSES!!!” The bald gorilla roared.

Nana let out an “eep!” and somehow managed to escape Hani’s grasp to hide behind Trois in less than three seconds.

Trois gently patted the trembling child’s head. “There, there, the gorilla’s not coming after you, see? Nothing to be afraid of.”

“He hates me.” Nana rasped, staring sightlessly at Trois’ jumpsuit, fisted hands shaking. “He definitely hates me. No one glares like that unless they hate you. He’s going to murder me the first time he gets the chance.”

Hani frowned from where he’d taken shelter behind the billiards table. Great, he’d just gotten the kid over the last attempt, now all his good work was put to waste thanks to that shitty gorilla. Nana looked just as much of a nervous wreck as when he’d arrived.

He was about to get up and start telling his junior that not everyone had it out for him, when the human lock-pick spoke up. “Hajime wouldn’t do that. He gets angry at us, and beats us up, but he wouldn't ever do something like that. It goes against the nature of “supervisor”, and Hajime is the first to get pissed off when someone does that. He won't kill you. None of the guards will. They just wanna keep us here, not hurt us.”

Hani pouted, somewhat put out at the emotionless brat stealing his thunder. Then he glanced at the kid, and his skin prickled.

“Do you promise?” Nana’s eyes were wide and focused, penetrating in their scrutiny.

It was the same gaze Hani had been confronted with when he had found the boy practically folded in half balanced on top of a bathroom stall during lunch, gripping the knife he’d been stabbed with in case his attacker happened to look up while searching for him.

The inconsistent human key nodded. “I promise. I’m Jyugo. Nice to meet you.”

All the tension seemed to drain out of the child’s posture, and his eyes dropped. “I’m Nana…pardon me if this is rude, but aren't your feet cold?”

The gazes of everyone at the billiards table dropped to the drowning expert’s bare feet. “Ah, well, the cuffs make it kind of hard to wear shoes, so—”

“Aren't sandals or house shoes an option though? They don't reach your ankles.” Nana frowned. “It’s bad to just go around like that— they could get cut open if you step on something sharp, or your toes could get broken into an ugly mess if someone with shoes trod on them. You should ask your supervisor for something suitable that goes with your look.”

Uno, who was cowering on the other side of the billiards table, heaved a sigh. “And here I was wondering if you were really a part of the pretty-boy Cell. Guess you are one of them after all, huh?”

Nana reddened, and began fidgeting like the lock-pick had been throughout his scolding.

Trois smiled. “Wow, your jealousy is really uncool, Uno-kun! Though it is to be expected in the face of the beauty of Nanba’s number one heartthrob~”

The shrimp-bastard ground his teeth in envy. Hani snorted at the sight. “C’mon limey. I still need to beat you at darts again.”

“Excuse you, I was winning, you arrow bastard!” The gambler scampered back over to the board.

“You wish, braided asshole!” Hani followed him, intent on proving his mastery.

From the corner of his eye, he could see the lock-pick direct Nana over to the sickly kid and the chi guy. Every time he happened to glance over, they all appeared absorbed in the shitty game console the druggie was playing on.

Then Uno would make a smart-ass remark about mother hens or some fuckery, and Hani would refocus on destroying the shrimp bastard on the dartboard.

About half-an-hour in, Nana ran over again. “Hani-Senpai, do you know where the bathrooms are?”

Hani raised an eyebrow. Last time he’d been asked that question, he’d ended up following a murderer following his cell mate. “D’you need to wash your hands or something?”

Nana pulled a face. He was still irritated that Hani had made him do that immediately after getting down from the top of the stall— even though they were filthy. “No. I just need to go.”

“How the fuck should I know? I don't live here.” He turned back to his throw.

The braided moron piped up, “Seitaro will tell you— he’s the wimpy pretty boy over there. He won't bite like Hajime does.”

“Thank you Uno-San!” Nan bowed, and ran to the guard who’d managed to beat Kiji at New Year’s. After speaking with both him, the gorilla and Kiji, the pair left, and the guard returned a few minutes later, talking to the gorilla. Based on what Hani could overhear, a guard called Kuu was keeping watch.

Well, it wasn't like Nana could get into much trouble without Hani knowing about it—after the lunch incident, he’d made the boy keep one of his special bullets on him at all times.

Hani smiled as he got another bulls-eye.

His latest annoyance would probably be just fine.

[fillmyheartwithgladnis]

Hope you enjoy it, @mako-lies

I did my best with the ‘power dynamic’ prompt.  I would have liked to do the Ravus/Luna one but I was afraid of messing something up.  I tried to keep to basic canon so if I screwed anything obvious, hope you can overlook/enjoy it! It’s my first full length fic, normally I only do original works- feel free to let me know how you think I did.  @the-gift-of-ffxv

“I can do what I like,” snarled Noctis, pulling away from the group.  There was a sudden flash in his blue eyes.  Gladio and Ignis were left standing at Pullmoor Haven.  Gladio was surprised and a little angry.  Ignis was only frustrated.  Noctis strode through the still-dew wet grass to the trees, continuing down toward the sluice.

“I'm gonna go get that little punk.  He can't just-” Gladio had taken a step forward, but all Ignis had to do was raise a hand to stop him. “Huh?”

“Let him go. He will come back in his own time, and feeling more himself.  I'm sure of it.”  Ignis' voice was tired, but confident.  He began to set about cleaning up breakfast's remains.

Gladio let his posture relax a little.  After all, Iggy would know, wouldn't he?  But still.  “What if he gets hurt out there?  Or lost.  You can't expect the shrimp to be okay on his own.  That's why we're here in the first place.”  Half of that concern was as the King's Shield.  The other half was brotherly, almost fatherly concern. Noctis could fight, sure, but if some of these creatures ganged up on him, what then?  What if soldiers appeared?

“Perhaps it is why you're here in the first place,” responded Ignis, scraping plates and dropping them into the large scrubbing pot that was full of warm, soapy water.  “Is there anywhere Noct could go where neither you nor I would hear him, if he called for help?  After all this time?”

“Eh,” Gladio hesitated.  Even with Ignis, he wanted to be combative.  After all, Noct had been downright insulting.  Ignorant.  It didn't matter if he was the prince- king, technically, Gladio had to remind himself- but he thought their relationship was more than that.  It infuriated him that he could put him down so easily.  “No, I guess not.”

Ignis nodded knowingly.  The years they'd both spent with Noct- to be totally honest, raising him- they knew him very well.  In fact, he would never dare suggest it aloud because it felt so inappropriate, but he thought they probably knew him better than Regis had. “Exactly.  Now,” he handed him towel and a cleaned, rinsed dish. “Dry.”

Gladio accepted this chore with a grunt.  After a minute, he chuckled softly.  “We really are his folks, huh?”

Well, there was one person that Ignis felt safe enough to admit that thought aloud to.  “Yes,” Ignis replied after a pause.

When they had finished and had the gear stowed, they sat down at the edge of the haven.  They didn't wander, as they did want to be in a place with reception if Noct called, not to mention a high spot to see if he sent up any sort of magic- their agreed emergency flare if one of them was out on their own.

“It really pisses me off sometimes, that Noct's what we got in life.  You know?  I didn't ask for this.  I was born to it,” sighed Gladio, drinking gently steaming coffee from his mug.  It was a slightly chilly morning.  “You too.  We are all were, so the least he could do would be to make it as easy on everyone as possible.”

“He can be a frustrating person.”  Ignis was still struggling with the fact he couldn't call Noct a boy anymore.  He was too old for that now, even though he sometimes behaved like a child.  And even so, he couldn't bring himself to call him a man yet, either.

“Just make something simple, for once.  He's upset, okay, I can see that. C'mon, just let it out!  Scared?  Just say so.  Why's he gotta be so damn cool all the time?” Gladio shook his head.  “Everyone's on his side.  Why can't he see that?”

“There is a whole empire that isn't,” said Ignis tidily, sipping his own coffee.  The mug read 'rise & grind.'  It was a gift from Gladio, and to Gladio's surprise, Ignis had enjoyed the dual meaning so much he held onto it, and brought it on their journey.

“Well,” said Gladio, stumbling a little for a response.  “Everyone who matters is, that's what I mean.”

The three of us, thought Ignis.  Against a fierce tide, an empire sent to kill our charge, and we're the ones who matter?  I suppose that's correct.

He let Gladio rant on for a while until he tired himself out.  When he had, Ignis spoke up.  “And yet, for it all, if we were not here- you, born to some other family, and I too- Noct would still be here. He would need a protector and he would need a teacher, support and leadership.  Men to follow, because King Regis, in his presence and in his absence, was only one kind of role model.

“And I for one would not wish for or trust another with him.”

With a half smile, Gladio glanced down at his mug. It read, 'Bad at self espresso.'  “Yeah,” he said gruffly.  “Me too.”

There was no denying that this life had also brought good things- much as they bemoaned Noct, it was in that way one complains of the closest family.  Not mention that it had brought the two of them together in a partnership stronger than either had experienced or seen, before or since.

Ignis leaned against Gladio a bit, looking out over the scenery as he laid his head against his shoulder.  Gladio leaned back a little, too.

“Uhm, hey.”  They had only been that way for a moment before a voice made them both jump from their reverie.  They parted, and looking over their shoulders, they saw Prompto.  He had been out since an early breakfast- he wanted to take pictures in the early morning mists. He had been sticking close to the haven to bolt for it, or within earshot at all times.  “Not interrupting, am I?”  His voice was little quieter and more nervous than usual, and both Gladio and Ignis knew he had heard the fighting.

“Nah. It's fine.”  Gladio patted the space on the rock between he and Ignis.  “Come sit down.  Get anything good?”

“A couple of shots,” said Prompto sounding preoccupied, and sat down between them.  “So, uh, there was yelling this morning.”

If Noct was like a child born to them before they were ready, Prompto might have been their adopted son.  With so little attention from his family, once he and Noct had become friends he spent an incredible amount of time with them.  He quite happily fell into place into their little unit, and was eager to keep it.  Almost in paranoid sense.

Gladio said, “Yeah, Prince ob-Noct-xious pulled out the old 'don't tell me what to do, I'm royalty' outta mothballs.”

“Oh.” Prompto sighed, looking worried.  “Where is he now?”

“He went down in that direction.”  Ignis gestured appropriately. “We've been watching the direction to be sure of his safety.  If he doesn't return in the next hour, we'll go to him.”

There was silence for a moment, and then Prompto spoke.  “He only ever did that to me once.”

Ignis glanced at the younger man, and Gladio asked, “What?”

“Did the 'I'm the prince,' thing.”  Prompto set his camera down on his lap, looking hard at it.

“Oh,” grunted Gladio.  “Lucky you.”

“Did he... do that a lot to you guys?” asked Prompto, looking from Gladio to Ignis.  It was hard to believe. They were practically royalty in Prompto's mind. “I thought you'd have a line to the king, you know?  Put a stop to it right away?”

“Huh, no,” said Gladio with a chuckle.  He clapped Prompto on the shoulder in an affectionate, though slightly hard way.  “Definitely not.  I mean, the king had to be king, he had a lot going on.  That's why we were with Noct so much.  He just didn't have time.”

“It's not to say that Noctis was always uncooperative,” added Ignis. “But if he didn't want to do something, he dug in his heels.  Then, if you wanted to speak with the king, you would have to wait it out, and usually it was just more effective to let it run its course.”

“That's what I did, too,” remarked Gladio.  “Eventually he learned that my loyalty was his from birth, but my respect for him as a man had to be earned.  When he realized that, tch.”  Gladio gave a little shrug, watching the sky, face reminiscent.  He had a slight smile. “Couldn't stop him from training, or trying to learn.  Of course, he was still talking back, but that's just Noct.  But that's something I can really respect about him; he wants to be respected just as much as who is as for he was born to be, you know?  And he learned that using his title as a shield wouldn't do that for him. At least, I thought he did.”  Gladio frowned slightly.

“He does know,” Ignis said firmly.  “He's under a lot of pressure, and bound to snap back once in a while.  There's much that's riding on him and he hasn't had the life experience to know how to handle it all.  However, he isn't the child we used to know that used that against us.”

“Yeah,” interjected Prompto.  “I mean, you guys are talking about this like it used to happen a lot-” On either side of him, Gladio nodded emphatically, and Ignis nodded once.  “But it only happened once with me.”  He turned his camera over in his hands.  “So he'd have to have changed, right?”  The last part he said softly, as if to himself.

The older two men were silent.  It sounded like he had more to say. “It's so embarrassing!” Prompto's voice rose suddenly. Ignis' eyebrow raised, and Gladio jumped a little.  Prompto shook his head hard, as if by the action he could make the past disappear. “'I'm the prince. I don't have to.'  And I just nodded, just went along with it, because whatever, right?  I could get a new camera, I could take new pictures, but I couldn't make a new friend.” His voice fell again, becoming quiet and vulnerable.

“He wrecked your camera?” asked Gladio.

Prompto nodded.  “I wanted to show him this one picture I got- it was great, the greatest in my life.  And he was playing around with it, and...”  Prompto shook his head again.  “I was really upset, and he just sulked and acted like he had nothing to be sorry for.  I made up my mind that I could replace it- well, mostly- but I couldn't replace the only friend I had.  For the next couple days, we didn't talk a lot.  My mind was still on that picture, you know?  And I guess... I guess he realized the way he acted.  He brought me a new camera.  It was kinda stiff, the way he gave it to me.  Guess he wasn't used to making up for things.  I told him it was okay, and he said it wasn't.”

Prompto looked a little surprised as he remembered the event.  “In fact, I think he said something about needing to earn respect, and he was taking mine for granted.”  Glancing at Gladio, he said, “So something you said got through after all.”

“Imagine that,” said Gladio, smiling again.

“I had to get going, so I took the camera with me.  When I fired it up the first time, I found out it was already set up, and already had pictures on the memory card.  He tried to take a bunch of different pictures, and the last one was a sheet of paper.  It said, 'I know I can't replace your pictures, but if we're still friends, I'll make sure you get chances to take new ones.'”  Prompto looked down at his boots, dangling over the edge of the stone.  

“And how was the crown prince at photography?” asked Ignis.

“Not very good,” Prompto said with a small chuckle.  “Anyway, it meant a lot.  I was going to let him walk over me, like I let everyone, but he decided to make it right.  Now it sort of means more.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Gladio asked, “Was that really the best picture you've ever taken?”

“Yeah, of course,” said Prompto, but then he appeared to think more on it. “Actually, since we've been out here, no.”

“Huh. He kept the other part of his promise then, too.”

“Yeah, he did,” said Prompto.  “Although...  I could do with a little less 'monster' subjects, and a little more 'Cindy,' you know?”

“Please,” said Gladio.  “You might like the look of Cindy, but you love the feel of Noct.”

“What? Uh, no?  I don't know-”  Prompto was turning a deep red under his freckles.

“It's alright,” said Gladio, laughing.  “Who're we going to tell?”

“And who are we to judge?” said Ignis.

“How'd you know?” asked Prompto.

“It's obvious.  Seeing you sneak around together, even back home.  The way you can jump when someone walks into the same room as the two of you.”  Gladio clapped him on the back again.

“Oh, yeah,” said Prompto slyly.  “You know what that's like, don't you?”

Gladio reddened a little, and stuck out his bottom jaw, and didn't say anything.  He just snorted.

Ignis chuckled and, raising his mug said, “Touche.”

They passed a little more time quietly.  Gladio drank his coffee and stared at the open sky, marveling still at how wide and vast the land outside Insomnia seemed.  Prompto watched the catoblepas wander peacefully about the sluice.

Ignis was lost in his own thought.  He, too, remembered a time when the power inherent with Noct's birthright pulled them apart.  He in title was Noctis' adviser, but had been called on to do so much more.

He recalled the many times Noct had talked back, or yelled, as the case might be.  He was free with listing all the things Ignis wasn't; his mother, his father, his friend.  'Nothing but a glorified servant,' was one that jumped to mind.  As if he was only there for his functions a caregiver, and nothing more.  'You don't even have a personality.'

That one had stung.  Ignis had always been reserved, and sometimes, casual social interaction was hard for him.  It wasn't a lack of personality, but just who he was.  Not everyone was gruff but brotherly, not everyone was extroverted and bouncy.  He'd have thought Noct would be one to understand that.

But because Ignis had heard that for most of his life from many people -don't you ever laugh?- are you okay, you look upset?- don't you ever talk?- it's called a joke, idiot- why do you look so angry all the time?- it hurt worse than it might have.  So he'd stopped any contact with Noctis besides what he had to do- making sure Noctis was well, looked after, and doing what he had to.  No conversation, no presence, outside of that.

If all he was was function, than that was all he would be.

It was not Ignis' proudest moment, recalling that time, but a faint smirk played across his lips as he remembered the result.

“Aren't you going to stay?”  Noctis was sick, had been and confined to his room for a few days.  Ignis saw him the most; bringing him food and medicine, but leaving him after that was done.

This was the second day that Ignis had set down the bowl on his bedside table, and walked away.

“Is there anything else you require, Highness?” Ignis had asked, turning.  He tried not to let the iciness pervade his voice, but he knew Noctis could see it in his eyes.

“Um...” Noctis glanced down.  “No, I mean...”  His voice was softer than usual, his throat sore.

“Then having served you, I shall take my leave.”  If there was one thing Ignis might have said people underrated about him, it was his cold, polite sarcasm.  He once again attempted to leave.

“Hey. I uh...  Come and tell me...”  Noctis had struggled to remember one of the histories that Ignis had been telling him about before the silence had come. He wanted company, Ignis' particularly. “About moogles.  About how people used to think they were real.”

Ignis stood at the door a long moment; but complied, walking back over and sitting beside his bed.  He knew what Noctis was trying to accomplish, and he found he couldn't really stay as mad as he had been.

Almost an hour later, very sleepily, Noct had spoken up again.  He placed his hand on Ignis', saying, “I'm sorry.  You're- I'm-” he got trapped in his thoughts for a moment, then tried again.  “Thanks.”

Ignis nodded.  Things weren't entirely healed, so it was hard to know what to say.  “Do you wish me to leave, Highness?”

“Ugh, no.  And you don't have to call me that so much.”

Ignis said dryly, “It denotes our relationship.  It is what we are.”

“Nah,” Noctis didn't look at him, his cheeks tinged in a way that didn't have much to do with his illness.  “We're a lot more like family. More than some.  Don't-don't you think?”  He glanced nervously up at Ignis.

Ignis' face softened, and he replied,  “That's how I've thought of it. However-”

“Family's fight, but they get back together.”  Noct said, barely audible, hand still on Ignis'.

Ignis moved his hand to hold Noct's, and he said, “Do you want me to stay?”

“Yeah. I'm almost asleep.”

“Then I'll stay with you.”  Ignis had stayed by his side, and from then, Noctis was much more appreciative of their relationship; not mere function but family.

As he gazed out at the scenery with Prompto and Gladio, he thought of how far they'd all come.  How much further would they go together? Although Ignis knew it was very improbable, he hoped it would be until the last.

Across the sluice...

Noctis knew that they expected him to be fishing, but he was too angry to stand still.  He strode along the bank of sluice, leaving the fishing spot behind.  Maybe he could find a monster or two his size to take out the anger on.

He kept walking, aware he was getting further and further from the haven.  He didn't let that stop him or bother him.  There were a few voreteeth that appeared, but they were far from being a match for him.  Once he'd walked far enough, he came to a halt.  He wasn't quite sure where he was, suddenly.  In a wooded area, but when had there gotten to be so many trees?  And why was it so cool?

Noct sighed, and dropped down, sitting at the roots of one of them.  He leaned his head back against the trunk, and finally allowed himself to think.

Of course, they were right.  He couldn't hold his nobility above them. As much as they owed him loyalty, he owed them his respect, his friendship, his compassion.  They were the only ones who really had an idea of what this was like, even if they didn't see it through his eyes.

Saying he was wrong was always difficult, but not impossible.  He allowed himself another moment to think before he would get up and walk back, but it was long enough to doze.

A sound made him open his eyes.  The first thing he noticed was that a mist had settled in.  It wasn't very thick, but it confused the terrain all the same.  The day must have taken a turn for the overcast, because the sky also seemed strangely muted.

The sounds came again, something moving near him.  Noctis stayed still, and someone walked right past him, not noticing him behind the tree.

It was Gladio.

Noct rolled his eyes.  The person he really wanted to talk to first was Prompto.  He would know how to approach the other two, how he should apologize.  But Ignis even would have been better than Gladio.  Noct watched him disappear into the trees.  Then he changed his mind.  He would just apologize.  What fault could Gladio find in that?  And anyway, it was the right thing to do.  Rather than delay it, why not just get it done?

He got to his feet and headed after him.  He began to trot, but Gladio wasn't to be found.

Strange. Gladio could be quiet, of course, but normally his gait could be heard.  Where had he gone?

He was about to call out to him, when he heard his name.

“Noct! Noct, where are you?”

It was Prompto's voice.  Obviously they had come looking for him. Breathing a sigh of relief, he called back, “I'm here!  Where are you?” and began to head to his friend.  But whenever he called out or got closer, Prompto sounded further and further away. “I get it,” he called.  “I know I was a jerk, just wait up.”  He started to get winded.

Prompto's voice led him to a cliff.  It wasn't too high; just too high to jump from without breaking bones, and too sheer to climb.

Below, he could see Ignis.  Calling down to him, Noct asked, “Iggy, what's up with those guys?  I'm sorry!  Tell them to stop messing around.”

Ignis just looked up at him, shook his head once, and turned away.  The look of pure disgust was unmistakable.

“Hey! Hey, come back!”  Noct called after him, but Ignis was gone.

Noctis turned back to the woods, running into them blindly, hoping to find one of his friends.  The woods only seemed to get darker and the fog heavier; worse yet, he had the sensation of being followed.  He slipped down a rocky path, sliding down in the mud and twinging his ankle.  Noct lay on his back for a moment as the world spun around him.  

Trying to get up, Noct found he was oddly weak and tired feeling.  He had the sense of falling unconscious, but not from hitting his head.  It was as though something was making the air soft and heavy, causing him to drift into a very deep sleep even as he tried to rouse himself.  He could hear footsteps approach as he closed his eyes, heart pounding.

Noctis woke feeling the rhythm of walking.  His eyes cracked open reluctantly, as if they were bonded by some sort of adhesive. Prompto was walking beside him, and was glancing constantly at him, getting very close.

“Are you sure he's alright?” he asked anxiously.

Noctis felt his carrier's chest heave with a long, exasperated sigh.  “Quite sure, Prompto.  Some monsters have the ability to make one exhausted or confused with poison or spores.  Noct likely ran afoul of one.”

Ahead of them, Gladio whacked through undergrowth with his weapon.  They were out of the woods, and the sky was oddly light.

“It's... daytime?”

Ignis glanced down at him.  “Yes, it's only been a few hours.”  Noct could easily read the concern in his companion's less-than-expressive face.  

“What happened?” inquired Prompto.  Before he let Noct answer, he said, “Thankfully we found you.  You were out in the open, anything coulda got you.”

“I thought...  Seemed like I was in the woods...?” Noct yawned. Things were still a bit hazy in his mind, but he was seeing clearer.

“Nah, you were out here, behind a big rock,” answered Gladio from the front.

They were soon back at the haven, sitting around a fire as Ignis checked Noctis for more serious signs of poisoning.  He found none.  Even though it was day, it was a little chilly, and Prompto had brought out a blanket for Noct.  Ignis had made coffee for everyone as well.

Noctis described his sense of direction being confused, and the intense feelings of fear, and isolation.  He hesitated, but then also told them about what he had seen.

“Hallucinatory effects of poison.  It was probably a monster, playing with you for its own amusement,” said Ignis.  He was right; it had been a monster that toyed with Noctis and separated him from his family for those terrifying hours.  

Just not the kind they thought.

“I don't get how you could've been laying there the whole time, though,” said Gladio thoughtfully.  “We woulda found you sooner.  We walked past there a few times.”

“Who cares?” said Prompto, scooting closer to Noct.  “You're safe, and that's what matters.”

“Anyway,” said Gladio, “You're not leaving without one of us again.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” said Noct.

There was silence, and then Ignis asked, “Did you really think we would have left you?”  His voice was tinged with curiosity, not judgment.

Noct couldn't look at any of them, and said, “When I really think about it, no.”

There was more quiet, until Noctis spoke up again.  “I thought maybe you guys finally had enough.  I mean, it's dangerous, all kinds of things could happen, and I haven't always been the best...”  No one had any response to that.  “I guess...  I just want to say that I'm sorry.  And not just for today...   I-I love you.”  He blushed deeply.

“You're forgiven,” Prompto was the first to respond. He gave him a hug around the shoulders, and a wide grin.  “At least, by me.”

“Huh,” Gladio grunted.  “Don't worry about it.”  He came over and patted Noct's shoulder.  

Ignis nodded.  “Already forgiven, as well.”

Noctis felt a bit better.  “You guys... are the best. ”

“We are simply the way all good families are,” said Ignis softly, looking at Noctis over the rim of his cup, a look in his eye.

Noct smiled in return as Prompto decided to share the blanket with him. The fear that had shaken him earlier was receding, replaced by warmth.  The horror, the beast, whatever it might have been, did not seem insurmountable now.

After all, he was not a noble out with his subjects.  They were family that would stand with one another, as long as it took, wherever it took them.  No demon, not even the ones he faced inside of himself, could ever change that.

[lil-blue-one]

In Secret - Assessment

I wasn't really wearing workout clothes, just some snug jean shorts and one of my orange tank dresses with separate sleeves. But, Gajeel walked me through some basic exercises. He asked me how much I could lift, and I just looked at him. "Oh. Right. Well, I've seen ya carry as many as ten books, so this weight here should be manageable." He started messing with a few weights, then motioned for me to try to pick it up. He was right, the weight wasn't too much. It wasn't effortless, but I could carry it for a little bit without exhausting myself.

Gajeel knows how many books I usually carry? I don't know why that amused me. Next, he asked me to try to punch him. Again, I just looked at him. I wasn't TRYING to be difficult, this was just uncomfortable. "Look, Shrimp," he huffed, "yer not gonna hurt me." I shuffled my feet a little. "I know that, Gajeel. I have no hope of hurting you. It's just, I don't really fight physically. You'd laugh at me, and you probably wouldn't even feel it if I hit you full strength. Plus, I don't know how."

He gave me another assessing look, and I dropped my eyes. I meant to just not be staring at his eyes, but my gaze lingered on his sculpted abs. It really wasn't fair that the man was still standing there shirtless. I blinked and looked around the room again, waiting for instruction. "Fine. Here, come hit the bag. Then I can at least see how yer technique needs to be changed."

I followed him to the heavy bag hanging in the corner, then balled up my fists. I raised my hands up in front of my face like I'd seen Gajeel do a few minutes ago. Or at least, I thought it was the same way. "Hang on, hang on!" He blurted out before I could throw my punch, and I dropped my arms. Don't be embarrassed, I chided myself, you told him you had no idea what you were doing.

"Geez, Shrimp. Yer friends never taught ya anythin' about fightin'? That doesn't seem right, makin' ya so dependent on them. Look, hold yer fist like this." He pulled my hand up and moved my fingers, putting my thumb in front of my fingers instead of inside my fist. "And lock your wrist, like this." I forced myself to focus on the positioning of my hands, instead of how his hands were rough and strong, but also somehow gentle, and how the contact between our hands was sending tingles up my arm. "If ya don't lock yer wrist straight like this, the first time ya punch someone with any force you'll break it."

I clenched my hands and opened them a few times, getting myself used to how it was supposed to feel. I looked at Gajeel, and he nodded, so I readied myself to punch again. This time, he let me follow through on the motion. Fat lot of good it did though. The bag barely even moved, and I felt a shock travel all the way up into my shoulder. "Ow! Does it feel like that every time you hit someone?!" I shook my arm out. I heard the wonderful laugh that I was really coming to love, a deep rumbly sound that tickled my ears.

"Nah, it gets easier. Eventually ya get used to the feeling, and if you stand like this," his hands were suddenly on my hips, turning them so I wasn't facing the bag squarely, "bend this knee just a little, there, and balance your weight," he patted my thigh and left his hand there for a second until I bent my knee, "and hold your arms like this," he seemed completely oblivious to the scarlet my face was turning, "and follow through with the punch instead of letting the contact stop you, the shock will spread out better." He had removed his hands, but I could still feel each spot he'd touched. I rocked back and forth on my feet in the new position to get into my head how it was supposed to feel.

But, I couldn't ignore the feeling buzzing through me. It was a little like one time when we were kids that I'd bumped into Laxus and he'd accidentally zapped my shoulder, electricity coursing through my whole arm. There was a warmer feeling in my stomach, too.

"Okay. Umm, is that enough for today? I have some things I need to do..." I trailed off as I inched towards the door. He was watching me with those eyes again, but I hadn't the slightest idea what he was thinking. "Sure, Shrimp." He crossed his arms. "But, I expect to see you at training this evening. After dinner?" I nodded, not even thinking about what I was agreeing to, and turned to run out the door. I stopped just outside and looked back. "I don't know how to get to the warehouse, should I come here?" Gajeel looked a little surprised, but just nodded. "Okay. See you then!" Now that I wasn't so close to that distracting body that I couldn't think, I found I was really looking forward to this!

Levy took off out the door of my house, and I just stood there for a minute. I looked down at my arms, unfolding them so I could stare at my hands. As if that would tell me why my skin was on fire where it'd touched hers. I had been doing so well, too, watching her with the weights to make sure she didn't hurt herself. I'd kept my eyes on her lifting posture, not her slim, bare shoulders. But, then I'd watched her ball up her tiny hands, and had almost been too distracted by the cute look of determination on her face. I'd almost missed her terrible form, and then she might've been hurt.

I'd gotten angry then that her supposed friends had never even taught her any basic self defense. "Geez, Shrimp. Yer friends never taught ya anythin' about fightin'?" I'd said. "That doesn't seem right, makin' ya so dependent on them. Look, hold yer fist like this." I was proud of myself for managing to keep the disdain I felt for those two losers out of my voice. But then I'd reached out and grabbed her hands. They were so soft. I kept myself talking to distract her from my hands lingering on hers. I positioned her fingers properly and explained why it was important to lock her wrist so she didn't break it. I DIDN'T intertwine my huge, rough fingers with her beautiful, soft, tiny ones. I DID notice how strong they were though.

I even kept a straight face as I watched the woman throw an obviously weak punch at the bag. I know she's got muscle. I've seen her use it lugging around all of those books. She just doesn't have the confidence to put any of it into her swing. "Ow! Does it feel like that every time you hit someone?!" I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my mouth at her reaction. I probably could have explained a proper stance without putting my hands on her again, but where's the fun in that?

I very pointedly didn't look at her face after I first saw her start blushing. Mostly because I was staring at how her waist fit perfectly in my hands as I moved her hips to face the bag at an angle; and at that amazing ass... And then the skin on her leg was so perfect and soft. I kept the surprise out of my face when I realized just how much muscle she really did have on those wiry little arms. The separated sleeves she always wears hide her arms very well. I don't think she noticed that I trailed my hands up her arms to her shoulders before removing my hands. She probably thought I was just positioning her still.

I had finally stepped back again to see how her punch went this time, and was debating demonstrating how to do it by hitting the bag myself when she excused herself and started to leave. I just looked at her, knowing if I wasn't very careful, I'd ask her to stick around longer. And then she would feel threatened, most likely. So I just nodded, "Sure, Shrimp." As she started to leave, I couldn't resist, "But, I expect to see you at training this evening. After dinner?" My stomach clenched a little when she simply nodded.

She stopped just outside the open door and looked back at me. "I don't know how to get to the warehouse, should I come here?" The excitement I smelled then surprised me, so I just nodded. She is as excited about this as she was about the book on dragons the other day! "Okay. See you then!" She said. Then she was gone again.

I realized I was still just standing in my living room, my muscles starting to cramp from not stretching out or cooling down. Damn. She can really throw me for a loop. What the hell is up with that? She really wasn't my type. I mean, not that I had ever really decided a type. Emotions were a weakness in Phantom Lord, and I'd never wasted much time on women before. But, I knew she was way too tiny, I'd probably bump into her and break her. Plus, she's scared of ya because ya almost killed her, ya damned fool. With that happy thought in mind, I kicked my door shut and stomped towards my shower, stretching out my shoulders as I stepped into the water. I didn't even let it warm up first.

A/N I'm so sorry that these have been delayed. They've been done, just awaiting my final read through, but I have been distracted by the Definition of Insanity and life. As penance I will be posting four chapters all today! And maybe some later this week. .

You should thank muddyevil and kmmcm because they have been harassing me to post, because they are the absolute best. *less than three*

Fanfiction.net - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12352494/12/In-Secret

[arriyire]

Learn to Fly - A Fairy Tail Fic Ch. 7

Summary: The world is split into two realms - the mortal and the spirit. In this world, demons attack humans and the winged protect them. When Levy gets shoved headfirst into the spirit realm, she will have to adjust her whole way of living and learn to deal with a moody dragon winged Gajeel. AU vaguely based on the manga plot.

Rated: T

Chapter 7

Gajeel flew above the ambulance, following it to the hospital. Landing nearby he watched as they unloaded the blue-haired woman (now on a stretcher) and began to poke and prod her looking for any signs of injury. Following closely through the building after the bluenette, he found himself in the room where she had been left to recover. Gajeel opened the window in the room when he was sure no-one would see it move and waited. After several hours, Lilly had caught up with Gajeel, flying through the open window and clearly annoyed at being left alone on top of a building for several hours with no word or warning; but quickly diverted his temper to concern when he saw their ward. She was in a hospital bed fast asleep, with a sterile white bandage wrapped round her head for good measure.

The two winged stood in the room still watching over her, Lilly noted Gajeel’s intense stare at the woman’s small form. Once again Lilly was in the dark about the situation, he only hoped Gajeel would be more forthcoming with answers this time. “What happened back there Gajeel?” He tentatively asked.

Gajeel raked a large hand through his thick mane, and groaned. “Damn short-stack ran out in front of a car; I yanked her out of the way.” The pair had been guarding the building Levy had entered that morning, they say guarding but the whole morning had been completely uneventful. They opted to fill their time with light sparring; practising a variety of punches and kicks – when they noticed she was leaving in early afternoon. Gajeel elected to follow her while Lil’ stayed behind only to join Gajeel later if problems arose. It was pretty calm so Gajeel just walked behind the bouncing blue bundle of joy as she headed back. With nothing better to do Gajeel just watched her, he wasn’t gonna complain the view wasn’t half-bad (he might even go as far as to say attractive), what he was going to complain about was the actual ray of sunshine this shrimp was emitting. Seriously how was she so fucking happy, all she had was food! This girl was his near opposite, filled with colour and optimism; he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealously that level of happiness never seemed to reach him.

Regardless he kept an eye on her, while she clearly wasn’t paying attention to her surrounding he sure as hell was. Gajeel had watched as the stupid woman walked out in front of a car. Reflexes kicked in and before he could think his hand was grabbing the back of her dress, yanking her back, none too gracefully, as the car skidded to a stop over the spot where she had just been standing. Gajeel had let her drop to the ground, releasing his grip; a sickening crack was heard has her head hit the pavement. Shit. He crouched over her and confirmed she was still alive and breathing before backing away and letting the humans fix this mess.

He had been standing at the back of the growing crowd completely invisible to their nosey asses as they fussed over the girl. He honestly thought she was fine, there was no blood, she just needed to brush it off and carry on, but that clearly wasn’t an option with this number of people trying to help. Gajeel considered watching from a nearby rooftop to get away from them when he caught the now conscious bluenette staring right at him. Eye’s locked as he glared back, primal instincts kicking in as he tried to look intimidating, an invisible battle of will occurring before an unsuspecting crowd. She didn’t back down, eyes equally intense; that is until her gaze flicked sideways and caught sight of his wings. Shit hit the fan then, and she descended into a panicked frenzy pointing at him trying to get the crowd to see what she clearly could.

That was all the confirmation he needed. “I think she can see us now, Lil’. Gave me a pretty solid glare.” Gajeel stood still, staring at the sleeping bluenette.

“You’re sure?” Lilly watched as Gajeel replied with a sharp nod. “Got some guts staring you down heh.” A ghost of a smile graced both of their faces, before Lilly thought about the actual effects of the situation.  “Maybe we shouldn’t be here then? It would be quite the shock to see both of us after such an event.” Lilly honestly didn’t know what to do now, if the human could see winged it was a safe bet that she could see demons. Perhaps they should wait until the woman was in a more familiar environment before gently introducing themselves. They would have to try and explain everything to her in calm and collected manner to prevent her from panicking, then perhaps they could advise her on how to stay safe until the barrier was constructed. The Exceed, pleased with his devised plan, turned to share it with Gajeel; only to see the brazen man poking the sleeping woman aggressively in her cheek.

“OI! Get up!” Gajeel said rather loudly, rousing a worn out Levy from her much needed sleep.

Similar to their first encounter Levy couldn’t make much sense of the space around her, unable to fully recall what had happened to her in the last few hours. When her active conscious finally kicked in, her first thought was that that her head bloody hurt, her second was that she was definitely not in her bed and her third was the man with wings that she was sure she had dreamed up was now looming over her with a rather annoyed look on his face.

Levy began to scream. Gajeel, panicking, quickly clamped a large hand over the woman’s mouth clearly agitated. “Oi, Oi! Shut it short-stack. You sound like you’re being fucking murdered!” He scalded.

Levy’s eyes went wide at the feel of his hand on her face and heard deepness of his voice; there was no way she could convince herself this wasn’t real as his warm rough hands pressed against her lips keeping the noise lock inside. Wide brown eyes met red piercing ones for the second time in that day and all Levy could think about was that this was how she was going to die; by a creature that should only exist in her precious books. Tears filled her eyes as her body betrayed her fears, but she never looked away. Her thick gaze pleaded with Gajeel, overwhelming him with the dread and the mortality of her life the girl was feeling.  He released her, and watched stunned as she curled up on the hospital bed, choking back sobs, and turned to Lilly in a clear call for help.

Lilly on the other hand, couldn’t believe his own eyes; this bone headed nitwit had managed to scare the living daylights out of the human and caused her to become an incomprehensible heap in less than three minutes. Now he had the audacity to look to him for help? Lilly considered flying out the window leaving the man to deal with the mess he made, but another look at the sobbing girl changed his mind. While his partner couldn’t be spoken for, he was a gentleman.

In his smaller form, to try and look less intimidating, Lilly stood on the hospital bed facing the distressed woman and put a gentle paw on her arm. “Miss? Don’t be afraid we aren’t going to hurt you.” At first it seemed like his words fell on deaf ears, but slowly the sobs slowed and he heard her lungs begin to take deep breaths to calm her hammering heart. Lilly offered a comforting smile while now Gajeel sulked in the corner; his eye’s fixated on their interactions.

Levy; realising that she was still alive and that a new, hard but concerned voice was now talking to her, looked up to see a ebony cat with a scarred eye and small fluffy white wings smiling at her.  Her voice failed her while her brain tried reason what was going on. “Wha...” was all she could manage staring at yet another unexplainable figure in the room.

“My name is Panther Lilly, Lilly for short. Pleased to meet you. The sulking man in the corner is Gajeel Redfox, I apologise for his rude behaviour” Gajeel growled at the last comment but Lilly silenced him with a glare. That man had brought this on himself.

“Levy, Levy McGarden.” The quiet introduction was still unsure, but it was progress from the sobbing from before. Lilly gave her a more confident smile and offered a paw to the now curious woman, the two shook hand and paw further luring Levy out of her curled posture.  “I imagine you have a lot of questions, I understand this is a lot to take in.” While he was unsure about how much information they should divulge, providing few answers should develop some level of trust between the two parties.

“What are you?” The question came instantaneously, despite the flood of queries she had. With a finally clear head she was able to study the two beings in front of her calmly. They weren’t actually as intimidating as first impressions gave, sure they were straight off the written page, dark and menacing (one was covered in piercings and other was carrying a sword!) but, they didn’t seem to want to harm her. In fact, the cat one was actively trying to make conversation with her and comfort her. The other one however was giving her that glare again, almost as if he was studying her, ready to pounce should she make a wrong move.

She broke away from her inner thoughts when Lilly spoke again “We are spirits to put it simply, we exist in a realm alongside this one which humans cannot see – well should not be able to see.”

“So why can I see you?” She was trying to keep a level head, save conclusions for after all the facts were presented but already this sounded like one of her stories.

“I would bet that it is because of the actions of my partner, do you recall why you’re here?” Lilly gestured to the room the three stood in and Levy suddenly remembered that this was not her home. It was what she assumed was a hospital, Going by the sterile white décor at least. She also noted the bandages round her head as her fingers reached to touch them she suddenly cried out in realisation.

“You!” Her finger was firmly pointed at Gajeel now “It was you; you pulled me out of the way of the car!” Her mouth got ahead of her brain as she asked her third question without a second thought. “Why?”

Gajeel felt like he was being accused of some wrong by someone half his height, the idea made him immediately defensive. “People normally say ‘thanks’ when someone saves their ass, ya know!” The man snorted as her shocked face as he snapped at her.

Clearly taken aback by the abruptness of the man, Levy rethought her reply. Taking a deep breath, she calmed her voice and tried again. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Thank you, Gajeel, for saving me. But still, why did you?”

Now the tables switched as Gajeel expected a more aggressive reply from the woman, he kept his demeanour up but his words were softer “Couldn’t just let ya get run over could I, kinda person you take me for?” Actively looking anywhere except at the bluenette, Levy could help but think her looked rather cute, like a child trying to keep a secret.

Lilly looked very amused by the sudden interaction between human and winged and elected to not step in allowing them to continue.

A wicked thought graced Levy’s head as she spoke again “Some kind of guardian angel I guess!” Levy now had the cheeriest grin on her face as she reached her deduction of Gajeel’s question of ‘what kind of person he was’. From his reaction it would appear she was right; he was definitely not one who enjoyed being called an ‘angel’.

Gajeel looked like someone had just kicked him in the balls, his ego felt severely bruised “Do I look like some kind of pansy angel?!” He almost roared, but Levy wasn’t having any of it. A man who had just saved her wasn’t about to go about harming her.

“But you are guarding me?” Levy didn’t miss a beat, dissecting his words and turning the tables on him yet again.

Lilly was now quietly snickering at the whole thing, sure Gajeel could take on any opponent in a fight, but when that fight came down to pure wit and words, he was at a supreme disadvantage especially against small blue haired women it seemed. Deciding to spare Gajeel further embarrassment, Lilly stepped in, before the bluenette pushed anymore of the dragon’s buttons and caused a real tantrum.

“Yes, the current situation has led us to be your protectors for a few days – we will be gone soon and you won’t ever have to concern yourself with us again.” He hoped there was a way to put her back to normal; she would be labelled crazy by human standards if she went shouting about seeing angels.

Before Levy could inject any kind of reply a nurse walked into the room, oblivious to the two extra bodies in the room, she proceeded to ask Levy standard questions. How did she feel? Dizzy? Sick? Confused? Levy responded kindly saying she felt fine and allowed the nurse to carry out some standard checks on her; satisfied she was in good health she prescribed Levy to take at least one day off and to stay hydrated before discharging her. The whole time Levy couldn’t help but look at the two winged figures in her room; silently watching, not the nurse, but the windows and the doors, as if they were expecting something to come bursting through.

As Levy exited the room and found her way outside, she watched Gajeel follow out closely behind her with the cat sitting on his shoulder. Both were still watching her like she was about to burst into flames – without warning Gajeel shot his hand towards her, past her head and into the face of an approaching demon. Levy stared in shock as she saw Gajeel’s arm had become a large iron post impaled in some unfortunate creature’s head.

“Lilly get her home, now. I’m gunna check for others.” The orders were absolute, no room for movement. As he flew to the sky Levy watched the formally small cat become a muscled beast, matching Gajeel in sheer size.

“C’mon Levy its best we keep moving, don’t worry your safe.” Lilly tried to be reassuring but it did little to help.

“What was that…?” She asked as she watched the body turn to dust and scatter in the wind, Lilly’s hands gently tugged her shoulder urging her to walk.

“What we are protecting you from,” was his only reply.

Full fic here - I own nothing except a vague plot, feel free to review/ask/be inspired and share with me anything you find :)

[hollywoodx4]

Sticking With the Schuylers (18B)

Surprise! There’s actually 3 parts to this chapter now, because after editing and re-configuring I decided to split B into two instead of having it be the mega-huge length it was (I mean, huge compared to the average length.Plus, I like to make you guys hang a little.)

As a side-note, I’m going to NYC for my birthday in less than 50 days (a product of years of saving and 3 jobs on my part) and my hotel is deadass right near the Waldorf Astoria. So I’ll be dying a slow death right in the heart of the setting of this story. 

In this part...well, you’ll see.

1  2  3  4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   I   13  14   15   16   17   18A

Forks clinking clumsily around plates stacked with seafood, meat  that’s been carved right in front of the patrons, and greedy portions of caviar that’s been spooned on just about everything. The guests linger around the high tables set in the middle of the rooftop, eating dainty bites of the decadent array of foods while they gossip.

               There’s a certain table, one that hugs the rooftop and allows a spectacular view of the city down below. The Schuyler sisters have always had this table, no questions asked. Today is no exception; Elizabeth sits closest to the glass fencing, her eyes trained more on the traffic of the city than the bustling of politicians and businessmen round the rooftop.

Angelica is up and moving around the crowd today, standing at a high-top table with some woman in a pencil skirt Eliza has never seen before. She can tell immediately that there’s some sort of deal going on; Angelica is poised, her public smile on as she shakes hands with the woman. They laugh. The oldest Schuyler has always been a charmer in the business world.

Peggy sits across from Eliza, chatting animatedly to her middle sister as she rummages through her bag. Finally, she winks as she unearths a small, keychain-sized bottle of Sriracha.

               “Cover me,” Eliza laughs as her little sister douses her plate of seafood in the vibrant red sauce, her actions hasty as she continues to scan the room. Then she tucks the bottle back in her purse, grinning wildly before tucking into her meal.

               “You’re ridiculous.”

               “I take offense to that. I’m actually a genius, nobody has discovered my brilliance yet.”

               “Okay, sure.” Angelica’s begun to make her way back across the throng but is stopped again, putting her charm back on and leaning against the railing. Elizabeth laughs.

               “Angie’s really starting to get the hang of these things.” She gestures to their older sister. Peggy rolls her eyes, leaning back in her chair.

               “I pray we don’t end up like that.” She stabs a shrimp with her fork in defiance. “The last thing I want is to be one of these old fuddies for the rest of my life.”

               “Margarita, watch your mouth.” The youngest Schuyler shrinks in her seat upon hearing her father’s voice, mumbling an apology through a mouth full of food before casting her gaze guiltily down to her plate. Eliza draws in a breath herself, raising her posture in her chair and giving her father a warm smile before gesturing to the empty seat at their table. He obliges, unbuttoning the single button on his suit coat before sitting next to Peggy, setting his folded hands on the table.

               “Are you enjoying what the chef made you today?” Eliza nods, poking her fork through the beautifully arranged mass of potato, egg, and avocado to prove herself.

               “I’ve already sent my compliments to the chef.”

               “Good.”

               “It’s really wonderful that they’re always so prepared to serve vegetarian when I’m here.”

               “It’s their job, sweetheart. That’s why we choose the Waldorf-they’re always doing their jobs just right around here.”

               The middle Schuyler sister simply smiles, taking another bit of her dish. She wasn’t particularly hungry today, or even in the mood to entertain her father. But she always seemed to put on a good show, because while Peggy was choking over their father’s blunt and entitled manner Eliza was composing herself quite well. They linger in silence for a while, the girls taking longer to eat so that they might use the social faux pas of a full mouth to excuse themselves from further conversation. It isn’t as if they dislike their father; no, he’s a good man-good with business and good in keeping their family together. However Phillip Schuyler had a habit of making his wealth and good status known-a habit that made Eliza especially uncomfortable.

               He stays at the table, clearing his throat a few times before both girls finally look up from their plates of food. Their father’s expression is serious; thin lips drawn into a straight line, eyes earnest and searching. He’s staring back at Eliza. She takes in a long, drawn out breath.

               “So there was an interesting article in People the other day that was brought to my attention.”

               “Oh?”

               “Actually, there were two. Two articles about you within the past two weeks.” She still doesn’t respond, eyes set and teeth skimming her bottom lip in a search of comfort. Peggy looks on, unsure of what to do or say other than continuing on with her meal. That, and beginning a silent search for their oldest sister. She’s sure Angelica would know how to diffuse the situation.

               “I was hoping you’d tell me a little bit more about this mystery man that’s seemed to grab everyone’s attention.”

               Her face flushes immediately and Peggy excuses herself from the table, the need to search for her oldest sister becoming more frantic upon the topic of conversation. Eliza sighs internally upon being abandoned, to have this conversation alone with her father.

               “He’s a really wonderful person, dad.”

               “And I’m sure he is. I was just hoping that after the release of that first article last week that you might have been considering something else.”

               “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” She’s quiet, and suddenly her avocado hash is much more interesting than the conversation at hand. She too begins to scan the room for her sisters, wondering where the hell could have gone off to or who stopped them for conversation. At this point, she’d do anything to escape the inevitable awkward turn this ‘talk’ would have to take.

               “Sweetheart, I mean James. He was one of the good ones-mature, handsome…a politician, even. Did you hear he’s already planning a run for office within the city council?” Her father continues his rambling, speaking with his hands as he does only when he feels great excitement or exuberance about a concept. He chirps out words like wonderful and charming between his name. Her stomach churns, and she pushes the rest of her hash away in fears of throwing it back up. And then her father rises from the table, grinning wildly as he gestures between Eliza and somebody else. And then, she looks up.

               Eliza locks eyes with the stranger.

               The man smiles, a trademark smirk she’s only seen on one other pair of filled-out lips.

               Eliza’s head begins to spin.

               “Darling, this is,”

               “Scott Reynolds. Yes, Elizabeth and I have met before, Phillip. My son continues to speak very highly of you, Elizabeth.”

               Managing to pull a seemingly heartfelt smile from deep within herself is the hardest feat Eliza has ever been forced to complete. But she does it, rising from her chair to shake hands with the man. His hands are cold. His grip is tight. And when she pulls her hand back to herself Scott Reynolds lets his eyes trail up and down her figure. Her head is spinning.

               The men begin to converse in a way that only slightly includes her, mentioning her every so often. The chatter is more about her than with her, thankfully, so for a while she is only resigned to nodding her head and smiling politely. She waits, rather impatiently, for a break in the conversation to excuse herself. But she can barely keep up with what the men are saying; the new acquaintance’s eyes are so familiar to his son’s that even standing next to him has sent shivers up her spine. She excuses herself with a reserved voice and a forced smile, kissing her father on the cheek.

               There must be at least 100 people on this rooftop. She can barely see anything through the throng of businessmen and politicians, wives standing around high tables and young children crowded around the chocolate fountain. There’s so much going on; continual babbling that’s turned to incoherent conversation from the ringing of her ears. Faces come in and out of her vision as she struggles to keep her head above the water, counting methodically from one to nine and back again. Counting like Alexander had taught her the other night.

               She frantically searches for her phone in her cross-body, pulling it out and dialing the number with shaky thumbs. Thankfully, the warm voice greets her after the first ring. She’s still trying to push her way through the throngs of people, excusing herself with a whispered voice and averted eyes. The last thing she wants is to draw more attention to herself.

               “Eliza, are you there?”

               “Y-yes, yes, I’m here. I’m…can you come get me?” She’s finally out of the mass of people, in a corner by the elevators and a leafy potted plant. She leans against the wall, phone pressed hard against her ear as she attempts to focus on her breathing.

               “I’m on my way. You’re at the Waldorf?”

               “Yes.”

               “Are you hurt?”

               “No.”

               “Where are your sisters?”

               “I don’t know.” She’s audibly crying now, breaths coming in light hiccups that tighten her diaphragm. On the other side of the phone she can hear traffic; the usual bustling of the city, just barely audible underneath his panicked voice.

               “Okay, stay where you are. I’m only a few blocks away. Breathe. One..two…three…four…” He counts to nine and back as many times as he can, prodding her with reminders to stay on the phone with him and updates on his location. A horn blares and he curses back, apologizing before promising he’ll be there soon.

[elle-stevens]

The Break Up Blog - Day Eighteen

Ladies Night at the bar turned out to be more fun than I initially expected. 

I was at home yesterday having eaten half a big bowl of chicken and shrimp fried rice and enjoying my new Chinese drama. I almost felt too comfortable to leave my apartment. But I gave myself a pep-talk about being more sociable and meeting my friends like I planned. Then I met C outside our apartment complex and we took a cab to the bar. 

Our mutual friend, AM, who convinced both C and I to go to Ladies Night with her, joined us 10 minutes after we arrived. I’m glad I went to Ladies Night. Even though I get super reserved around people I don’t know, a few people approached me and chatted with me, including a woman who’s also from South Africa like me. I got a nice surprise when one of my new acquaintances, R, turned up at the bar too. 

R is a Pilates instructor and I first met her when I consulted her on some neck problems I developed from my sleeping posture a few months ago. She helped me out a lot with improving my overall posture and I’m toying with the idea of even taking some of her Pilates classes in the near future. It doesn’t hurt that she has a warm and vivacious personality and a killer body that would make a monk weep. I’ll admit, I was pretty attracted to her when we first met while I was dating X, but it wasn’t anything like what happened with L. And that was mainly because I decided early on that I wasn’t going to make my penchant for shameless perving into something more serious and amorous. Anyway, it was good seeing her at the start of the night, even though she disappeared right after that. 

I still found myself looking around the bar for any sign of R while me, C and AM laughed up a storm. AM is just a ball of infectious energy and positivity, it’s damn near difficult to be miserable in her company. I told her about X and I’m glad for it because she was very kind about it. She even seemed keen on reading these break-up blog posts of mine, which made me a little embarassed. Sure, I’m already sharing my private thoughts with what might be a score of nameless strangers online, but that’s only because I thought people didn’t really care about what I’ve been writing in the first place. But the more I type out my thoughts, the more I realise just how many people are helping me through this process of moving on from X and gaining a better outlook on life. 

I mostly drank free red and white wine at the bar, which got me feeling really tipsy after a short time. Me, C and AM met a new girl at the bar just as we were leaving named AN who’s Russian. She spontaneously invited the three of us to join her at a night club across the street with the promise of more free drinks. I didn’t really care about the alcohol, but I definitely wanted to keep the positive buzz of the wine going through my system for a little bit longer, so I agreed. I was trying to unwind from the stresses of work and distract myself from the loss of X, I figured I was due some unscripted fun for a change. 

It was actually my first time ever in a night club. I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life up till now and living on my own abroad has been the only time where I’ve been allowed to have adventures and misadventures alike. I’m glad my first night club wasn’t as big or as crowded as the ones you see in movies. This club had a very relaxed atmosphere with only a few people in the building. I started chugging down a glass of Coke and whiskey when AN asked me if I wanted to play pool with her. I’m no great shakes at it, but I like playing whenever I’m in a bar, so I agreed. At this point, C, AM and I were well on our way to getting ‘cliche’ wasted. But I managed to stay lucid and on my feet and even won at pool after lots of poorly constructed shots with my cue. 

After that, I drank and I danced. And then, I drank even more while dancing. The music was really good and it took my alcoholic buzz to new and extraordinary heights. In that moment, I felt happy and free. I almost wished that X could see just how happy I was without her. But that was just the alcohol talking; it gives me a false sense of bravado which lifts me to my pinnacle only to send me crashing hellwards when I eventually sober up. 

These were these neon signs of broken hearts on the walls and while I danced, my fingers kept pointing to them and whispering X’s name in a mantra. Even in my heightened sense of frivolity, my subconscious was still trying to alert me to what I truly feel when no one else is around. I’m not over X; I probably won’t be for a while. I wish that we’d gone clubbing together at least once and just danced the night away in each other’s arms. That will never be now and because of that, I kept dancing and dancing, but just for myself. 

In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have chugged down a glass a wine and about 4 glasses of Coke and whiskey without sips of water in-between. That hit me hard after I said goodbye to AN and C and I managed to put AM into a taxi without any of us running into the streets. My stomach really hurt during the taxi and my head was spinning from the alcohol. I finally couldn’t hold it in and rolled down the window so I could puke while the car was still in motion. I ended up making a bit of a mess on the side of the car door. By the time I reached my apartment complex, I had to climb out of the car and kept hurling on the ground. The experience was pretty mortifying, especially when C had to pay extra for our taxi ride because of the mess I made. But she was very nice about it and took me home because I could no longer walk on my own feet. She helped me onto the sofa and even put a bucket down on the floor in case I needed to throw up again before leaving me to sleep. Despite embarassing myself before then, I managed to get 5 hours of peaceful and uninterrupted sleep. 

Naturally, I felt like shit this morning. I got my wish from a week ago: the need to get blindingly drunk. I had my very first hangover today and it was not fun. My eyes were puffy and felt heavy all day long. The thought of eating anything greasy made my stomach churn and my head was pounding for most of the day. Still, I put on a brave face and even laughed about it with C, CI and PE at our desks during the day. I was probably not in the best physical state to deal with my rowdy students, but I remedied that by downloading a video with sounds that only young children can hear to torture them every time they got too noisy and ignored my instructions in class. 

I managed to leave work on time and make it home for my Skype interview with S. I’m not entirely I nailed it or made a good impression, I was pretty nervous. But hopefully, there’ll be other opportunities to make a second good impression that will stick. Even though nothing’s on the horizon yet with finding a new job, I feel about my life in general this week than I did a week ago. I have to just keep showing up and pray that a door doesn’t get slammed in my face. 

After my whacky adventures from the night before and a busy day at school along with an interview, I expected to feel worse for wear. But I’m actually feeling ok now, like I can actually muster up enough energy to exercise at the gym tonight. And I got paid today; surviving a month of a low bank balance finally paid off in more ways than one. I”m probably going to end up spending half of my salary on this weekend alone with paying off subscriptions, saving up for rent, sending money back to South Africa to replenish my savings and buying things for the apartment like appliances and groceries. But I’m gonna try not to mind too much. It’s better to have money I can actually spend than having no money at all. 

I have a meeting with another school tomorrow. If that goes well, I’ll get some extra income from teaching for a few hours on the weekends. After that, I’ll need to buy some groceries and then I’ll have lunch with KI, one of my new friends, on Sunday. I don’t like giving up my down time too much, but staying busy these days seems to be helping me. I’ve been alone with my morbid thoughts about X and our previous relationship for months now and I’m sick of it. I put my life and my dreams on hold for her one too many times; it’s time to start living again and being happy. 

I had a weird moment when I opened up Paypal earlier and saw X’s account details on my screen. I used to help her out with money in the past; seeing my previous transactions were an uncomfortable reminder of how naive I was about X’s intentions for me. It smarted ever so slightly when I deleted X’s details from Paypal, but I’m glad I did it. I gave her too much of myself, including the contents of my bank account. Now I’m finally free of her manipulations. I’ve even decided to postpone sending back her crap, which was originally going to happen this weekend. There’s no real rush now, especially when I know that it will only be a matter of time before I’m finally over her. I might do it next weekend instead or I might not. I don’t want to make any decisions that I might have second thoughts about later. X may have controlled our relationship, but I’m going to control the break-up and how I carry myself throughout it all. 

This has become a long post reflecting on my night-club exploits, so this is a good place to stop for now. I don’t really know what’s going to happen from here on out, but at least I know that I’m going to work at being my old, positive self again while it happens.