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ankyouweek · 7 years

Text

-It's too late-

Ansatsu Big Bang

Prompt: Future

Pairing/Characters: Akabane Karma x Fem!Asano Gakushuu x Sakakibara Ren

Words: 22.401

Korosensei’s last words and advice to Karma were very simple. All of them were written in the last book that his teacher dedicated to every student in E class, and it was something he was sure he could fullfil at any point in his life. Even so, there was an exception for him, something that he was trying to get: not to be late.

“I like you.”

“… Akabane”

“Yes, Asano?”

“My wedding is within an hour.”

Karma raised an eyebrow and looked closely at Gakushuu’s wedding dress. Yes, even with Korosensei’s help, he had arrived eight years late.

“You have a lot of potential and you should take advantage of it. I know that without me, you will go very far. One of the best advice I can give to you in this book, is telling you to correct the one that is probably one of yout biggest defects: to be late. I would be very happy to know that a bureaucratic like you, will not arrive a few minutes (or hours) late to your meetings as you did in my classes.”

Karma had lost count of the times he had read that insignificant paragraph. Or rather, he was no longer aware of the number of occasions when he had read the entire book, stopping to observe the words written in these countless moments.

Korosensei’s last words and advice to him.

All written in that hardcover book, with an exaggerated number of pages and a photo of the old E class glued on its cover. That book he had kept for so many years in a safe place -as if it were a treasure- and the one he had reread in his loneliest moments, always being aware that this object was the last gift that his teacher gave them before he died, the latest thing in which he spent his time while the government prepared its best assault on the creature that had destroyed the moon and planned to do the same with the earth.

Many times, while Karma read it, he wondered for how long Korosensei had been preparing it. For how long had he been planning the writing of all those books? The one he owned was not the only one that existed, of course not. Twenty-eight books, one for each student, all of them personalized and written according their skills, desires and defects. And this fact, knowing that each ex-student of E class had a guide like his own, only led him to think and corroborate one thing: his teacher, even having accepted his death before his students, had alwas trusted and thought of them. Always. Because Korosensei was fast, everyone knew it, but not enough to devise those guides above something he couldn’t overcome, like for example, time.

The time he needed to become his tutor, the time he used to know ever single one of his students, to observe them, to know their habits, their hobbies, their goods and bad things. The time he had avaiable and invested in thinking a guide suitable for each student, distinguishing them from a normal student. And the time that cruelly went againstall of them, leaving those teenagers less time to kill him, and leaving the teacher closer to his death at every second.

He thought it was admirable. The knowledge that hed been a year by their side, analyzing them, protecting them and helping them at the same time they were planning his murder (even if he knew that there was no way to save him). And yet, after all, instead of thinking about himself, he probably spent months figuring out what to say in that last book. When he could have worried about how governments wanted his body, he was thinking about what advice he could give to his dear students.

It was admirable and stupid at the same time. Like Korosensei itself.

Anyway, Karma was sure that if that yellow octopus had the purpose to reach the heart of its students, he achieved it. And very deservingly, causing those children to whom he once taught grew up being preoccupied of what he had written the night of his death. It was a merit that eight years after his murder, these twenty-eight books remained intact and kept as if they were the holy grail. No wonder it was like this, it was the dear guide of its best tutor, his last gift. The gift which he had created for the purpose of illuminating each one’s future, making sure that they had his recommendations with them even after his death. Guiding them from the grave, in some strange way.

Recommendations and warnings that each ex-student had taken care of in its own way, trying to make him feel proud, wherever he was, and being happy in their attempt.

He wasn’t the exception, of course.

Like his companions, Karma had read those pages countless times, to the point that some were known by heart, and others were even recited on the way to work, not to forget what to do or not. Because Karma was Karma, it had been eight years and he had matured. He had understood the importance of bowing his head and apologizing when it was necessary, however proud he might be; and the importance of following the advice from his deceased teacher when he needed it. During those eight years, it had become quite habitual to review the pages of that guide when he was inevitably lost, and after a few minutes (sometimes hours) reading, he would regain his confidence.

However, for him there was an advice, a single advice of Korosensei, which he never seemed able to fulfill completely. One that for him was a permanent pain in the neck, no matter how he much tried to carry it out, it seemed that he wasn’t going to get it:

Not being late.

Every year, every month, every day and every minute he tried not to. But no matter what he did, he would always be late in one way or another.

Some people would laugh at it and tell him that it was silly, that leaving home a little ahead of time would be enough to go to some place at his hour. But it was impossible for him, it was as if the world or time itself were back against him every time he tried not to be late. It didn’t matter what event, meeting or place he had to go to, or how far his legs ran.

Having read that advice from his teacher for years and attempting to fulfill it, Karma seemed to continue to be late to every situation that was at least a tiny bit important for him.

“Why did you call me?”

Even in that one.

Those words, spoken in a cold and unselfish tone by that woman, echoed in the classroom, causing Karma to hold his breath. He didn’t know where to focus his gaze before: In the imposing figure that was standing in the middle of the room; Or in the appearance of the tables, chairs and classroom of the old class E in general.

Sighing from the door, the redhead ran a hand through his hair and tried not to focus his mind on the memories he had of the class he was now on. For even though many years had passed, the furniture seemed to remain intact, the building had been fixed and the floor and walls were clean and reformed. He knew that if the mountain and the building of E class were in such good condition, it had been thanks to the effort of himself and his companions to keep it that way. They had invested part of the government’s rewards in taking possession of that place, and later taking care of it and taking advantage of it the better they could, since after all it was like a mausoleum to their teacher , they couldn’t let it spoil.

Taking a quick glance at the classroom, Karma decided to go in completely as he closed the door behind him. He didn’t know what to think of the fact that he had come too late to the date he had made, and to top it off, none of those involved had time to do that. He would have apologized if the penetrating look of those violet eyes hadn’t distracted him.

“Asano.” The man said walking towards her and standing in the front to look at her, acting completely normal. As if he hadn’t come late and hadn’t heard the girl’s precious question.

No wonder she asked why he wanted to see her there. Not every day your former rival and ex-classmate contacts you to see him in an abandoned building on top of a montain, where state secrets and a murder took place and marked the lives of several teenagers.

“You’re late.” Replied the girl raising her head, as proud and haughty as usual.

Karma suppressed a small smile, he knew that she would reproach him when he arrived. Asano Gakushuu was like a clock, her life was planned and organized until the last second, so that was why the slightest lack of control was annoying and exasperating for her.

“I’ve been entertaining myself with some business.”

Re-entering that mountain as if it was the most normal thing for him and walking around the building of his old class, made him think too much. Maybe he would have arrived in time if he hadn’t been trying to concentrate on everything he had to do today and on ignoring his memories, instead of looking at the mountain with longing.

“I don’t have time for this.” The woman said with a heavy sigh and shaking her head. “Go to the point.”

He narrowed his eyes and looked at her thoughtfully. Sure, Asano didn’t like the preambles, he knew it and on the one hand he appreciated it, but on the other hand he didn’t. Karma was straightforward and although he often had to bite his tongue, in others occasions he didn’t hesitate to let go what he thought. With Asano it wasn’t an exception, they had known each other since high school, and if there was one thing he was sure of, it was that she had never been, or even will be, a sensitive woman who needed to be sweetened the words. As much as he needed it now.

“How impatient.” Karma said with a playful tone. “Aren’t you going to ask me how I’ve been?”

She crossed her arms while he smiled confidently. In fact, these words had only spoken with the desire to gain time. Because deep inside, Karma didn’t know how to face what he was going to ask the girl.

“No.” She said harshly. Of course, they had met three days ago, there wasn’t not much to ask. “Akabane, whatever you want to tell me, say it.”

He was silent for a few seconds, wondering how to lengthen the situation, even if he couldn’t. Gakushuu wasn’t stupid and she knew it. The only reason he could have wanted to meet her precisely in that place was because he had to tell her something important. Too important, because he had been insisting since the last three days, even knowing that they both had to do many things that morning.

There was no way to avoid the situation, she was like an ice floe and she wasn’t going to stop until she got what she had come for, that was to hear what he had to say. So, Karma took a breath, tried to be brave and he prepared for the slap that she was going to give him.

“Don’t get married, Asano.”

The classroom was silent for a few seconds, with the sunlight reflecting in the windows and the song of the birds echoing in the distance along with the tranquility of the mountain. They both stared, stunned. Asano looked at Karma assimilating what he had just asked, trying to see through it to find if this was a joke or not; While the only thing Karma could see was the engagement ring she wore on her right hand, it seemed to shine with the natural light of the morning.

“Explain yourself.” Demanded the girl after a short lapse.

She frowned, annoyed, bringing her left hand to the ring to touch it, as if it were some kind of tic, or to make sure it was still there. He suppressed a sigh and shook his head, it seemed impossible to look away from that jewel, it was noticeable that it was the most expensive in the market. He looked up just a few seconds to look into her eyes, there was no turning back.

“You can’t get married.” He repeated. “I like you.”

Karma had mixed feelings when he said that.

On the one hand, his heart leapt with happiness and he could almost sigh with relief. He felt that a great weight had been lifted from him, as if he had been eight years carrying a large rock on his back, a rock that was distressed and hidden in the back of his mind, that tortured him without him knowing it, a rock that he had suddenly released.

But on the other hand, his chest also seemed to shrink from discomfort. He had dug his own grave, he knew it. Because he only had to look at Gakushuu and the state she was in to find out what her response would be.

A relentless and indisputable “No”, that would do more damage than any slap or kick she could give him.

“Karma.”

He almost trembled at the sound of his name being spoken by her. He knew what was coming, it was very obvious. He looked at her seriously.

“Yes?” He answered with confidence and his head high, pretended that he knew very well what he was doing and that he didn’t about care the result. Even if it weren’t like that.

“My wedding with Sakakibara is celebrated within a hour.” She said in a firm voice.

A heavy air enveloped them, making that the sounds of the mountain became imperceptible for them for a moment. Asano’s words seemed to resonate in their minds and the atmosphere had become uncomfortable and even sad. In one moment, the classroom darkened, even if they were there in the most luminous hours of the morning.

A severe discomfort appeared in seconds, as well as an agonizing sensation in his chest that was very difficult to disguise. The reality seemed to strike him suddenly, making him open his eyes and realize the nonsensical actions he was carrying out.

Gakushuu was getting married. Asano Gakushuu was going to marry Sakakibara Ren. In an hour, that day.

What was he doing? What was he thinking? Who in the world would commit such madness of trying to confess itself to a woman whose marriage was celebrated that same day? He, of course. Because he didn’t need a giant yellow octopus to kill around him, Karma would still get into problems.

And he had no excuse this time, he really didn’t have it. He couldn’t say that he hadn’t heard of their engagement, because he saw how they were wearing those rings on the day of the meeting of former students; He couldn’t say that he didn’t know nothing about the wedding, his invitation had arrived months ago, he still kept it in one of the drawers of his bedside table. He had even helped to the future bride to choose the place to hold the celebration; And, of course, it was impossible to deny that he wasn’t aware of the time and place of the ceremony, because he was one of the principal attendants.

So, no: He had no escape for that. He was facing Asano an hour before her wedding, the girl dressed as a bride and he was trying to confess.

It was crazy. The redhead knew he had been sentenced, he had ruined everything and there no was a possibility that the bride was almost late for the wedding. Was it too cruel make her to go there just for that? Yes. But as incredible as it seemed, a part of him didn’t regret having met with her there at that hour.

The reason was childish and banal, something that had no importance before what was happening, but that deep in his subconscious he was glad to witness: He could see the bride dressed before her future husband.

It was foolish to rejoice at this fact and even ironic that it was precisely him who saw the girl like that, since he was the one who was trying to ruin the marriage. But Gakushuu wanted to celebrate a European-style wedding, which meant that according to the thought of it, Ren couldn’t see her dressed before the ceremony, since it was considered bad luck. That meant Karma -and the bridesmaids- were surely the first to see Asano in that elegant dress. That thought, however his bad situation, made the redhead want to smile at least a little.

Asano was beautiful, she always had been beautiful and everyone knew it. There was no way someone who knew her would think otherwise. And every time they thought she couldn’t get over it, she did.

And this time she did it, of course she did. It was her wedding day, supposedly one of the best and most important days in her life. It was clear that both families, Asano and Sakakibara, were not going to skimp on expenses when it came to preparing the wedding and everything about it. Just by looking at her engagement ring it was clear how luxurious the ceremony was going to be. The best hotel in the town, the most distiguished guests, the most outstanding chefs for the food, cards, flowers, bridesmaids, groomsmen, it even seemed that the air freshener they had chosen for the room was the more expensive in the market. And of course, the couple weren’t going to be the exception.

Karma didn’t know how much it would have cost Asano’s family that wedding dress, certainly a lot. It didn’t matter, because the only thing he could look at was how well she was and how perfect she looked. As usual, always perfect, always impeccable. He even admired the way she was frowning at that moment.

Time had passed, and it took toll on her, just like on him. Her features were more delicate, more mature. He knew she would be bothered if he told her, but over the years she looked more like her father. It wasn’t a bad thing, she and the ex-chairman were still attractive in their own way, it was simply a way of noticing family genetic, despite how much the daughter was embarrassed about it; Though her violet eyes now seemed to want to kill him, he was unable to feel threatened to appreciate them and the impeccable makeup that she was going to hide with the veil within an hour; Her hair was long now, also combed carefully and with a small tiara to make set with the dress. He remembered that in their high school years she had always kept her hair to her shoulders because, according to her “it was difficult to win a martial arts tournament with your hair bothering you in the face”, for him either of the two hairstyles really fit her; The dress was better than anything she’d ever worn, or at least something he’d seen. White and bright, with a word of honor and a pompous skirt whose folds could well clash with the table of the class. It was the kind of dress that anyone would have dreamt of having at their wedding since their childhood. Like her mistress, it seemed to shine with its own light and -as childish as it sounded- she was like a princess.

A princess or an angel. Or at least Gakushuu looked like one, for it was well known that Asano’s appearance was a good contrast to her true character, the one who she hid behind her mask of perfection to control the masses as mere puppets. The piety and benevolence she used to have with her enemies and anyone standing in her way didn’t exist.

The worst thing for Karma, was to realize that now the enemy who stood in her way to marry with Ren, was him.

As he imaginated first, Gakushuu was going to give him a good blow. Strong and without pity.

“I’m not joking, Akabane.” She said with a venomous tone in her voice. He didn’t blame her, she had the right to get angry. He not only said her that, but he had also been a long time admiring her without saying anything. “Find another victim who trusts your lies. I’m leaving.”

She gripped the heavy skirt of her dress with both hands and took a couple of steps forward with the intention of leaving, her head high, looking him over her shoulder. The sound of her heels crashing against the wood echoed in the room for a few seconds, until the problem arose; the woman couldn’t take another step, because Karma blocked her way. The redhead thought for a moment, but he had no intention of moving and letting her pass. If she took another path, she would probably tear the dress between the tables, which no one wanted. She seemed trapped.

With her eyes glittering in annoyance, the girl opened her mouth to demand him to withdraw before he interrupted her.

“It’s not a joke.” He said it with conviction. “I’m serious.”

“Let me go.” It was her simple answer. It seemed that either she didn’t believe it, or she didn’t want to hear anything else.

“No.” He denied instantly. “I want you to listen to me.”

“I have nothing to listen to, Akabane.” She replied in frustration. At this rate it seemed she was going to attack him with a judo key to reduce him and escape. “I have an hour to go to my wedding, I don’t have time to deal with your middle-aged crisis.”

Karma raised an eyebrow. Middle-aged crisis? He wished it was just that. And for a while, before he decided to do that, he was praying for it to be that. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. He had plenty of time to think about that brief period that had passed since the wedding invitation came to him that day.

“It’s not a crisis, either.” He said with a sigh and looked into her eyes. When she became so stubborn, sometimes it was difficult to reason with her. “I like you. I have for a long time.”

“I don’t believe you.” She replied. “Listen, Sakakibara and I are going to marry, but that doesn’t mean that you will not find someone special and you marry too, someday. You’re not going to die alone, Akabane.”

He rolled his eyes. Would she really try to deal with that “middle-aged crisis”? He was convinced that sometimes Asano only listened to what she wanted to hear and understood what she wanted to understand. And it seemed that telling her that he was in love with her since high school was something he didn’t want to hear.

“If you’re going to be a psychologist with me, then listen to what I have to tell you. I’m not going to let you leave like that.”

“And I can’t stay.” She replied. “I’m going to be late for my wedding.”

“You wont.”

“I’ll do it.” She approached him in an attempt to pull him away, but obviously it didn'r work. “If you’re feeling alone, adopt a cat.”

“I don’t want a cat!” Actually he wanted it, but that was exasperating for him. “Look at me.”

“No.”

“Asano, look at me.” He asked one more time.

She didn’t do it, she didn’t have the intention to do it. She lifted her head to look at him with coldness and rancor, ready to take him out the way and go to the door of the class. Releasing the skirt of her dress, she raised her hands with the intention of giving him a push, since he saw no other option. Karma could have endured that push and even more, but at that moment he didn’t have enough patience for it, let alone when he could see more closely nd perfectly the engagement ring that she carried in her hand.

He grabbed her wrist with bonds hands, careful not to push too hard (he knew he would regret if he did) and he pulled her close to face him. He couldn’t let her go, not now, he really couldn’t.

“Gakushuu.” He called her by her name, waiting for her to return her gaze, since she had now set about staring at the door of the class, her only way out. “If you don’t listen to me, I’ll tell your future husband where and with who you were before you married him.”

An uncomfortable silence settled between them, there was so much tension in the room.

Asano didn’t flinch from his arms, she only lifted her head to look at him thoughtfully. At first, there was a gleam of surprise in her eyes, which later turned into an angry, almost disappointed expression, or even a resigned one. She didn’t have to think hard to realize that she had gotten herself into the wolf’s mouth, true?

Karma lifted him chin in a proud gesture, distilling an air of rectum. Of course he would blackmail her if things didn’t go to the way he wanted, who did she think she was talking to? In the situation they were in, Akabane wasn’t the only one who had things to lose.

“You don’t know Ren, right?” She said with a sigh and a certain tone of superiority. As if she felt sorry for him, being proud of herself to be able to disrupt his blackmail, when in fact it was a desperate attempt to finish it. “He trusts me. Nothing that you say would change it.”

“Are you sure?” Karma narrowed his eyes and frowned. “Who would trust a woman who escapes a mountain with another man just before her wedding? I would have my suspicions.”

“You’re not Ren.” She blamed. In a way that had been a direct blow to Karma’s pride. And it looked like she hadn’t been planning it, unbelievable.

“True. I’m not.” He smiled. “And your family and friends who will be in the ceremony, neither the press, not your partners, nor your shareholders.”

He could see perfectly how Asano clenched her jaw and fists on disgust. Even if she didn’t want to admit that, she was bound by hand and foot, she was, and in the worst way possible. Because even if Ren couldn’t give importance to this little escape (which cannot yet be corroborated, it had to be admitted that what was happening was something unusual), the marriage of the daughter of a prestigious family like Asano always attracted attention, both in the media and magazines, as in the people who were part and were outstanding of the empire possessed by the Asano.

They lived of their image and appearance, it was something that everyone knew. Even in the ceremony important partners and employees were invited , also politicians who had some relation with them, even Karma was aware that he wasn’t exactly invited by being an ex-companion of Asano, but because they wanted to take advantage of his newly acquired popularity as a bureaucrat.

For that reason, the threat of Karma releasing such information was like a cloud of smoke on the supposed perfect and radiant day that Asano should be going to go through. Just imagining what would happen if people found out it was really bleak: the possible looks of disappointment of the guests, the flashes of the cameras, their faces on the covers of the magazines, the journalist camping out of their houses (again), uncomfortable questions that no one wanted to answer and headlines like “Bureaucrat and successful businesswoman planned to escape at her wedding leaving behind the famous and hopelessly in love novelist.”

The two of them knew, they knew that right now they were in the middle of a kind of hurricane in wich if they moved a lot they would be destroyed. A single false step would mean putting too many things at risk: their popularity, their image, their reputation, their pride. That’s why they wanted to be careful. Asano wanted to flee and forget everything, as long as Karma left her, which was not going to happen.

“You’re the worst.” She replied.” “I know you hate me, but I didn’t think you would do it to the point of wantingto ruin my wedding day.”

“If I tell you it’s not my intention, you will not believe me, will you?” He tried to smile at her as he released her wrist at last. He supposed she was smart enough not to leave until he thought that “meeting” was finished. That left him a certain amount of time until one of them finally lost temper.

“No.” She said with rancor. “This is because I managed to defeat you by a point in our last high school matchup?”

“Don’t you think you’re the best to tell me that, second place?” Maybe it has hurt a little to have lost that time and it was even childish to get that topic out now, but he couldn’t help it.

“Get over it.” She snorted tiredly.

“I can’t.” This time he answered with seriousness, drawing even more attention from her. “I’ve never been able to do it. That’s the problem.”

“It’s not so difficult. You just have to accept defeat and get into your mind that I am better than you.” Of course, Asano’s ego.

“It’s not about that.” He replied in exasperation. He no longer knew how to say it.

“And then what is it about?”

“That i’m in love with you.”

Another small silence that disappeared after a long sigh of Asano. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and shook her head tiredly, though she wasn’t the only one who was tired of it.

“Karma.” She called him by his name again, in a tired tone, looking at him with a pleading look this time. “This joke has come too far, really. It has never been funny and everyone is waiting for me. Let me go.”

“I told you from the beginning that it’s not a joke.” Still anchored in place, he clenched his fists and frowned at her. “Could you believe me for once?”

“You will understand that it’s very difficult to me.” She folfer her arms, growing more and more impatient to leave.

“Look…” Karma scratched the back of his neck and sighed. “I’m flattered that you think I’m so good at telling jokes. But come to this point, do you really think I’m not serious? Open your eyes, Asano.”

The serious expression she addressed to him would have intimidated anyone, but not him. He was accustomed to seeing that countenance, to have her eyes examining from top to bottom and looked at him in such a way that he seemed to be able to read his mind. At times, he came to think that Asano had been born with that ability; seeing through the others. However, he dismissed that possibility long ago, because if she really could enter his mind, they wouldn’t be in that situation, he was sure. Or at least he would have realized at the outset that he wasn’t joking.

“Suposse for a moment that I believe you.” She informed him with that haughty, proud tone. “If that was the case. What do you want with this?”

Karma inclined his head with an indifferent expression, shrugging his shoulders. To tell the truth, he didn’t know exactly what he wanted to achieve with that confession planned at the last minute, since this was born out of his repressed feelings and impulsiveness. But it seemed that after her insistence, she was willing to reconsider a little.

“Do you want me to escape with you? That we run away together to another country? That I leave everything for you as shown in the movies? Ride on a plane, fool Ren, give up our live here and end our love story in a lovely little house on the outskirts with four childrens and two dogs?” She began to ask him sarcastically, gesturing with his hande, more nervous and angry. He couldn’t blame her. “What? Karma. What do you want? What do you want of me?”

“I don’t know.” He acknowledged.

“Oh. You don’t know? Very smart, just what I could be expecting of you.” She seemed more and more angry. “You meet here with a woman about to marry to tell her that you’re in love with her, but you don’t know what you want.”

She was calling him selfish in his own face. It’s not like she wasn’t right, Karma knew, he was a selfish and a manipulator. Did he regret it? Not really.

“I don’t have to want anything, you know.” He was starting to get angry too. The little empathy that Gakushuu showed with everyone was like a wall against which he collided again and again. “I could, but you wouldn’t give it to me. I’ve been in love with you since high school and I discovered it recently, I just want you to know.”

“I didn’t want to know!” She countered in a bad mood. “You should have kept that secret to yourself.”

“And let you lose such valuable information?” No, I had to be generous and share it with you.” He smiled mockingly, hiding the knot in his chest caused by rejection. “You’ve always wanted to know what’s going on in my mind, right? Well, now you can.”

“What I’ve always wanted is a valid and legal reason to send you to a psychiatrist because you’re a sociopath and a sadist.” She replied looking at the door again. “This “confession” is of no use to me. I don’t care.”

“For real? You don’t care?” Karma raised an eyebrow at the impression. Because one thing was to reject him and thinking it was a joke, but saying that she didn’t care was something different, very different. And Gakushuu’s actions up until that point were so far from indicating that she didn’t care.

“No.” She shook her head with a serious expression.

Lying. Gakushuu was lying. She cared.

“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be who I am now.” Karma began to say seriously, he was serious. Because he couldn’t believe that Gakushuu wasn’t affected for all that, indeed, it seemed that she was fleeing. And he wouldn’t allow it. He would say everything necessary. “For you I always wanted to improve, constantly. To fight with you, to overcome you. The mere fact of thinking about you already makes me want to strive, to grow. Without you I would be here now.”

“Stop.” She ordered him, with an angry tone. “I know what you’re doing. Stop!”

“No.” He said. How long had he been keeping that? He didn’t know, but it really looked like a bomb about to explode. “You’re the only one that is at my level, my life without you would have been very boring, for some reason I followed you, I have to bore you to the end.”

“It over. I’m leaving!”

“You can’t!” He stepped back in front of her as she reached her skirta again to leave. “We look alike, even in being the bad people we are. That’s why we connected so much, I could be close to you without fear of hurting us.”

“I don’t care.” She shook her head, but she did. Karma was right. They were bad people and they recognized it, they were silent to each other.

“It doesn’t. Because I’ve been the only one to see you without your perfect mask, isn’t it? Even your future husband is still falling into your trap.” He said mockingly. “I unmasked you from the beginning and the result came out too well.”

“That’s a lie.”

“You know better than me that not.” He didn’t hesitate to answer that. “You’re a liar, a fake, and a exploiter. And yet I fell in love with you. Isn’t it ironic?”

“It’s stupid.” Her patience seemed to have been reached the limite, and she smacked him so as to make him retreat. “I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“You will do it.” He declared. He hadn’t been flustered by the blow, but his patiente was on the edge too. In a risky and presumptuous move, Karma raised his hand to lift her chin and approach her face. Holding her face to hold it in place, he was inches from her lips to keep talking. “If not… Why are you here?”

“…” She raised her head proudly, not wanting to get away, narrowed her eyes.

What was she going to say? It was so easy. Karma wasn’t stupid either, he could read between the lines. No woman in the world in her right mind and her full powers would have agreed to go with another man to a mountain away from the city hours before her wedding. It was madness and foolishness, one that the perfect and unspoiled Asano had committed, which contradicted each and every one of the negatives that she directed to him. A bride supposedly stressed and nervous for the best day of her life shouldn’t be waiting for someone like Karma in silence and quietly in and old classroom.

Gakushuu didn’t like to alter her agenda, she hated the unexpected, the setbacks. Karma was a setback in her life for himself, but the importance she gave to him was something she couldn’t deny. She had no excuse at all, she couldn’t say that she didn’t care or what she wanted to say. It was impossible to believe. Because if she didn’t care, she wouldn’t have read his messages, she wouldn’t have gone up there. And above all, she wouldn’t be staring at his eyes with intensity at that moment, as if she were asking with her look “You’ve caught me. Now, what are you going to do?”

“You’re like me.” Karma declared over his lips. “A horrible person.”

And he kissed her. Without asking, to treachery, in a dirty and crawling way. Gathering her lips in a brief kiss that barely lasted for seconds. It was a cold touch and without feeling, something produced by the confusion, the frustation and the anger of the moment. Neither of them pulled away, they just felt each other’s lips, looking into each other’s eyes for that brief period of time. They knew that shouldn’t be happening, but they didn’t want to stop it. Was that simple kiss a kind of compensation for all those who didn’t get eight years ago? Maybe.

They parted without a word. Karma’s heart almost about to come out his chest, because however cold that gesture had been, it was the first and only kiss that he would steal from Asano in all his life; Gakushuu frowned, feeling dirty and worse than she should. Karma was right, she was despicable.

“Congratulations.” Karma said after a few seconds with a mocking tone, as if there were something to celebrate. “You have not even stepped on the aisle and you’re already cheating on Sakakibara.”

Asano’s slap came immediately after that.

The snap of her open hand crashing against his cheek echoed across the room. Gakushuu had raised her hand in less than a second and had crossed his face without contemplation, without even thinking, with an enviable temper and aim for someone furious. Karma deserved it, it was obvious, so there was no complaint, not a word, not even an insult, only the uncomfortable silence that that outburst and that kiss had left behind.

With his face crouched and looking to one side, Karma’s cheek throbbed with pain. He woudln’t be surprised if that slap left a mark on him, the orange-haired girl had always had more strenght that she seemed having. His only problem would be to make up an excuse to appear at the ceremony with a swollen cheek. The redhead smiled, of course that reaction was expected, Asano didn’t like to be brushed aside by the bad person she was. Although it also had to do with what was ruining her wedding day, he had kissed her without her permission and, to top it off, he was gloating about it. It was disgusting, he deserved more than one slap, and deep inside he was expecting it to happen. (And maybe a few more, when he would invent that that slap had been given away to himby an offended bridesmaid, not by the bride.)

He looked at Asano out of the corner of his eye to see if he was right and he was going to hit him again. But it wouldn’t happen.

With a small push of his chest, Gakushuu got Karma to step aside in silence, finally having a path wide enough for her and her pompous dress to reach the door. The redhead said nothing, just held his red cheek and leaned slightly on the desk behind him, allowing her to pass.

Their thoughts were mixed, made a mess in their head and torturing them during those anguished and tense seconds that passed as Asano walked towards the door.

It was before she reached the end of the class, just as she brushed the desk that had belonged to the boy years ago, when he decided to speak.

“When we were in high school, you rejected the slugs with a radiant smile on your face and a compliment.” He said it in a calm tone, turning his backs from his position. It would seem a reproach, perhaps it was, although he was more occupied with remembering those moments in which Asano broke the hearts of the students with a beautiful smile. “I wonder why you haven’t done the same to me.”

Gakushuu opened the door and crossed the hall in complete silence. She seemed to have ignored that, but it was quite de opposite. She rested her hands on the edge of the door, about to close it and leave without even giving him one last look. Although at the last moment, she turned her face slightly to give him an answer that seemed to have been reflecting after a few seconds.

“That’s because you’re eight years late, Akabane.”

The last thing we heard was a door slamming shut.

~0.0~

“I’m bored.” Karma thought as he settled into his seat.

Accommodating in it, he raised his head to look forward and try to concentrate on the words that the one who officiated the wedding was reciting. Although he had no interest in them, pretending to do so was the least he could do, at least the most courteous thing.

Watching everything around him, the redhead stared silently at the scene before his eyes, analyzing it, trying to distract his mind from that incessant and meaningless chatter that the man in the back of the room insisted on continuing.

The afternoon lights streamed through the windows of the room, the striking and fragant flowers adorned the seats of the attendants and flooded the place with their scent, and the disinguished guests remained still and seated in their places, no sound from the outside appeared to be able to interrupt the calm and peaceful environment that had been created.

It shone, everything shone, everywhere you looked was shining, the ceremony itself was shining. It was elegant, luxurious, serene, just what was expected of an event organized by a couple who had so many financial resources and just what any couple of lovers would dream for a such important day for them.

A couple who at that moment were at the altar, sparkling more than anything else in the whole room, catching the attention of most people who were there and listening to the speech of the man in front of them who was going to officially declare them as husband and wife.

It was perfect, the wedding was perfect.

And Karma hated it.

“Boring.” He sighed and brought by a reflex act one of his hands to the cheek that Gakushuu had slapped an hour earlier, yes, it still hurt a bit, although the mark had disappeared enough not to be suspicious, at least that was he though. “Very boring.”

He rubbed his cheek slyly for a few seconds and straightened up again to pretend seriousness. It wasn’t personal -at least he didn’t want it to be- but Karma didn’t like weddings and such events in itself, he considered them tedious, tiring, something that stretched for no reason and kept him sit, listening to something that he didn’t believe in for a longer time than the necessary, like one of the assemblies of the Kunugigaoka high school in the past.

The difference between the assemblies of eight years ago and this marriage ceremony is no matter how much Karma wanted, he couldn’t escape and take the day off, and his motives were many. The first was for simple formality, he had been invited and he knew that he wouldn’t cause a good impression if he missed an event of such importance; the second was because he knew that this celebration was a good opportunity to meet contacts, renowned people that he had to win, high fields that could benefit him and his work at any given time. All thanks to the social circles through which the Asano family moved; Aad the third one was Gakushuu, of course. Not because of his feelings for her, but because he was very sure that if he wasn’t present on the day of her wedding, after all the trouble to invite him, she would chase him to the end to the world to reproach him to the end. And he didn’t want that.

So there he was. He was bored, disgusted, tired, in one of the last seats, in silence and trying not to think about how bad was his encounter an hour ago with the woman whose wedding was being celebrated.

He was rethinking several things, like the fact that he shouldn’t be there, that he didn’t want to be there, even less after his confession. He was sure that if any of the guests found out what he had done, they would be casting poisonous glances at him, thinking he didn’t deserve to be on that bench at the end of the room. Glances that he would have ignored, because they wouldn’t intimidate him or cause him the urge to leave, not like seeing Asano on the altar with another, for example, or seeing her on an altar directly. Please, what was he doing there? What were they doing there? If he didn’t even believe in marriage, and something told him that Asano didn’t either.

“Do you really need a signed document or a such elegant ceremony to prove that you love someone and you decide to spend your life by their side?” He asked himself, looking at his shoes carefully.

Of course not. Love wasn’t shown that way, it was what he thought, that a feeling like that was not defined on a signature in a paper, nor in a stunning ceremony, nor in elegant dresses, nor in shared goods, nor in gifts, not in a huge house on the outskirts in which to live alone. Love was demonstrated with actions, deeds, sincere words, company and fulfilled promises, which didn’t have to lead to an act as frivolous as it was a ceremony full of interests like that.

“This is stupid.” He ended up thinking with conviction.

Asano was a woman of facts and actions, he knew, she knew, everyone knew. She didn’t believe in the simple words of someone, she needed proof and events that confirmed things.

What was she doing on an altar? He didn’t know. Was it necessary? He thought that not, but maybe if he asked to the lady in the next seat, she would answer yes. She had been crying since she had set her foot in the room and had used more than three packages of tissues. Also, the one he deduced that was her husband had sat somewhere far away.

He decided not to look at her again after ten minutes of silents whimpers and sighed.

“Besides being stupid and boring, it’s so fluffy.” He concluded.

A thing so fluffy that -again- didn’t coincide with Asano. But that’s how it was lately, right? Because at least on that day, things were somewhat different, in a imperceptible way that very few people could notice, because Asano was not as pristine and punctual as she should have been. Luckily, he could sense it and he knew why.

Placing the tie that matched his suit, Karma tilted his head to one side so that he could look more clearly at Gakushuu, a few feet from where he was.

Clearly she was on her back to the guests, with the veil covering her face, with her posture straight and distinguished and listening intently to the father speaking in front of her. As if nothing had happened, as if everything was normal, although it wasn’t true.

The reality is that although the bride seemed calm and happy, she wasn’t. Because she and Karma were almost late for the wedding.

They were there due to a miracle.

For his part, Karma had enough sneaking through the back door convincing the watchman who was there that if he didn’t let him pass, unpleasant things would happen. He seemed to be very sympathetic and cooperative, so he ended up giving in and the redhead could sit in the seat where he was two minutes before the ceremony began; He wasn’t sure how Asano had managed to get there in time and not be suspicious, after all it didn’t seem very easy to move in that huge dress. But he knew her well, because she would surely have made use of the Asano family’s chauffeur to come and go to from the mountain (he had seen their car when he had to go there), and a convincing excuse accompanied by a radiant smile so they wouldn’t worry about her tardiness. As expected, everyone would have believe her, as always. Who wouldn’t? She was the bride, it was her day, she could be nervous too, right? So they would safety ignored that, make sure that the woman’s makeup and look were in place, and they would have continued with what was set for that perfect occasion.

Perfect and without incident. That seemed, that’s what Gakushuu wanted to make believe, and for a moment Karma too. But the truth was still there, imperceptibly for some, but very clear to them. As clear as the stains on the undersite of Asano’s dress, Karma couldn’t help but stare from his seat.

“How could she have justified that?” He asked himself curiously, still looking at them.

Because just as it was impossible for Karma to leave the E class building without filling his new shoes with mud, Asano couldn’t avoid staining the dress across the land, something very common considering that she had decided to take a walk in the mountain with a huge dress, so there was no human way to prevent it from staining. And Karma would bet everything that she surely would be raging inside at this moment, torturing herself in the back of her mind because her precious and expensive dress was stained and hadn’t been able to anything to prevent it. Surely the bridesmaids would have done their best to wipe those stains and conceal them, but he could see them from afar, knowing that even though she had left the class unharmed and without tearing up her beloved dress, she had dragged part of her skirt over him. Grounding it in her hurried march to her wedding.

“Now everything is not that perfect, isn’t it?” Karma thought with some resentment.

At last, what he had been waiting for. Something flawed, something abnormal in that wedding, something that had gone wrong despite all the efforts of the organization.

The bride’s dress. One of the things that should have stood out most, and it was stained, dirty, impure, it was no longer the radiant and perfect garment he had seen in the morning, and she was wearing it. It had to be tortured her, right? Wearing the only thing that wasn’t impeccable throughout her wedding, to Asano had to be a shame, an offense, a disappointment.

Because her dress wasn’t as perfect as it should be for that ceremony, it only showed chaos and disorder, a tangle that Gakushuu hadn’t been able to control and avoid, which made her weak, wich made her angry, but which she would have to accept with a fake smile and a rigid posture, giving an image of indifference to the issue about the other guests, who were busier murmuring how beautiful she looked instead of noticing that little error.

The error that Karma loved.

She adored it, loved it, loved it so much that at that moment he found it difficult to hide her big smile that crossed her face. It was great, so funny, so ironic, absolutely everything was funny.

Because the stains of the dress, what happened an hour before, the disgust that Asano surely had, were chaos. It was really chaos, the wedding, Gakushuu’s mind, everything was an unresolved mess. But no one knew, no one noticed despite how obvious it was. Why? Very easy: due to Gakushuu and her perfect actress talent, her good girl mask, she was sure they didn’t know, they they didn’t ask anything, to keep all this chaos hidden and safe from everyone, and to save it from the outside.

Except from him, because he was the cause. Yes. Karma liked chaos, he liked to create it, to intensify it. It was fun for him to see the expressions and the reactions of the people when this emerged. But above all, he had always liked to see Asano cover it up, how she solved it. It was like a confrontation between them. He created disorder, and she fixed it. He would destroy something and she would rebuild it, or sweep it under the carpet so that no one would notice it, as if it were another game between them.

It was like going back to school again, playing cat and mouse after all this time.

That’s why Karma couldn’t stop smiling, so he had to cover his mouth with his hand while Asano and Ren pronounced their vows in front of the altar. This wedding was a farce, it was like a theater, something Asano had planned until the last minute until Karma decided to destroy it with his unexpected confession. And now the ever admired Kunugigaoka’s student council president again covered up the wreckage that the E-class delinquent had created, so that her faithful folloers (now her guests) believed that that theater was going perfectly, when after the curtain everything was falling apart.

It was funny, it was really funny.

That’s why Karma decided to confess to her an hour before the wedding? Because it was like a declaration of war? The beginning of another competition? Looking for that fun again? Had he acted rashly and out of hand for something as trivial as a game between them?

Because he knew it, he was very conscious of it, a part of him was shouting it to himself: he had behaved in the most pathetic way possible, it was not his own. Dragging himself that way for Asano, asking her to stay, not to get married, it had been a disaster, something only a loser could do, not him. No wonder she thought it had been a joke, or that she would end up hitting him, because even Karma in his own right would have done something so hasty. Not even knowing what he felt for her, not being aware that he wouldn’t never see her again.

Then, why? Why he had done it? Why he had acted in such an impulsive and mediocre way in planning such a confession at the last minute? He knew he wasn’t going to change anything, he knew he was going to get a slap. Why?

The redhead asked himself that again and again, oblivious to the wedding, oblivious to the looks of the lady who was sitting next to him. Karma was searching desperately a justification for what he had done, a valid reason to think that his actions had a good reason, something to say inwardly that he had nothing to repent of, because he needed it. He really needed it, he had to convince himself and his conscience that his confession had some basics, that he had deliberately crawled into Asano with a pretext. Because then, what’s the point? His pride right now was shattered, and he didn’t want to recognize his heart and his cheek too. The conflict within him was so big and a part of him was demanding an explanation.

An explanation of several of them, since that moment, while he was sitting there, looking distracted how Asano and Ren exchanged their alliances, he got some.

The first and the most obvious of them was an attempt to provoke another war between them. A competition, a challenge with Asano, a power struggle at the time and place less indicated. He would make an unexpected move to ruin that day and then Gakushuu would try to save it with all her strength and methods. It was fun to watch as the woman struggled to keep everything under control while she was holding that fake smile.

It could be that he longed to return to live that, after so many years without seeing her, without feeling in his flesh what it was to try to overcome an Asano with the possibility of getting it would like to return the experience that emotion of confronting someone of his level, to note the uncertainty of who would override who, this time not academically, but psychologically and emotionally. Maybe after so much time of being focused on its own objectives and without finding a worthy rival as she had always been, he would have ended up missing their little contests to the point of doing that nonsense, all with such a return to play with her favorite “second place”.

The second, and another more than evident, were his feelings for her. His love, his crush, his whim, as he wanted to call it, he wanted to think that it could be considered the same. In their encounter he had made an effort to make clear to the girl that he was in love with her, and he probably was, but he wasn’t sure if that “love” came to the point of trying to stop her in her decision to marry.

Probably not.

Because the intensity of his feelings for that girl could be more or less devastating; he liked her, he liked her so much, he had always liked her, but never enough to want to get in her life, and he knew it from experience.

He was more than five? Six years at his side? Enough to observe her closely, to know her, even more after Korosensei’s death and to end up in the same class as her during high school. If he was more time in Kunugigaoka was because of her, if he stayed was because of her. Because he liked their competitions, their rivalries, it was fun, he had no more reasons to be there, simply because of her. For her and to annoy anyone those who said that his promotion of E class wouldn’t come to nothing. But beyond his desire to gloat, it was her. Asano Gakushuu, the girl who broke with all the schemes, the one who was always in the first place (until he came to unseat her), who won one trophy after another, who was perfect in everything, the one that had the high school in her hands. There was no student who hadn’t had a crush on her for at least a second, nobody who hadn’t fallen into her nets, in her kind smiles and reassuring words, obeying her orders directly or indirectly, right? There it was like a law of life, falling into the trap of an Asano, because she was radiant, or at least her façade was.

Everyone knew, Karma included, but, as always, he had to go against everyone, he had to fall in love with Asano in a way that no one had done. And id all the others had a crush on the fake an idyllic part that Gakushuu showed, Karma’s case was exactly the opposite. She fell in love with the part that no one saw, the part she hid from all but a few fortunate, ones of whom he apparently became part even after so many strikes against her. Because their trust might be born due to a situation that only they understood, their rivalry, silent truce which they didn’t speak, but understood. And that thanks to this he could see the hidden side of Asano, falling in love like an idiot of the main building when they seeing the perfect chairman’s daughter.

But he fell in love more than that, he not only like his perfection and his impassive character when she was in problem, it was just the opposite. He liked her sulky expression when he made her rage, her capricious behavior when she wanted to get something at the moment, how her eyes glittered with anger when he wasn’t right, the way she hid a small smile when something amused her but she didn’t wanted to recognize, her tireless motivation and effort to achieve her goals, the way in which she argued with him for anything, the sly impatience with which he waited for the test results to know who was the first.

He liked her, he liked her and didn’t know it, or he didn’t want to know. It was one of the few things he wasn’t really sure of, which he hadn’t been able to clarify in that brief time of reflection he had before attending that wedding. Had he been living in denial during those years, or simply in ignorance? If he thought about it, maybe they would have been both. Because sometimes, when Karma was absentmindedly contemplating Asano’s concentrated face in the study room, a little voice inside him said that this wasn’t normal, that the rivals didn’t stare so long, nor glared at the naive students who were also watching; And other times, when his blood was boiling, when his heart was racing and a knot formed in his throat when he saw her, when he argued with her, living with her, he didn’t know what was the cause, he didn’t stop to think what it was, so he assumed it was hate. Hate, pure hatred, which stirred his guts and clouded his mind, which made him want to destroy her in every exam and humiliate her in front of the other students.

Hating and loving her at the same time, that’s how he ended. And so on, those feelings hadn’t changed, it had been hidden for a long time, not wanting to see the light. Until Karma voluntarily revealed theam that day, as a kind of liberation.

It was a motive, wasn’t it? It was really a good reason to do what he had done. To think that this was his last chance to confess to her.

But it still wasn’t enough.

It still didn’t give him the explanation he wanted, because as he had thought before, even if his feelings for Asano had always been there, they were never a reason to get in her decisions and try to change her mind into something, whatever. This time it shouldn’t have been any different, he should have kept quiet, let her get married, and have a peaceful day as it should.

He should have let her go, as he did years ago, when she moved to America.

And that was precisely the thought that led him to the third motive, the third motivation for what he had done: He wanted to live without regrets, and as has as it was to recognize him, Asano was one of them.

Korosensei had taught him many things, many; He treasured every one of them and tried to apply them in his life, because it was the least he could do for him after killing him. He admired him, he had been to him -along with Karasuma- the closest father figure that he’d ever had in his life. Many of his companions, especially Nagisa, and even him, wanted to be at least in a minimum,to his late teacher, because they owed him a lot.

But everyone was aware that there was a part of him that nobody wanted to look like, no one wanted to notice, either out of fear or to deny the sad and stark reality. And it is that Korosensei was an assassin, a bloodthirsty assassin who snatched lives easily, who never cared who his victim was as long as they paid. It was an assassin who was teaching them for a year, and it was a murderer who urged them to kill him. A murderer who lived his last year in regret, repenting for not saving a single woman’s life despite having killed many before. Yukimura Aguri seemed to change his way of thinking, to the limit of making the god of death seek a redemption, a forgiveness somewhere, a way to compensate for not having saved her. And that redemption was them, the students of E class, and they knew it. He gave them the best and most meaningful year of their lives, trying to make up for what he did to Aguri, but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough for anyone, because for many stupid smiles that octopus had carried, even if they had killed him in the end, his regret was still there, and it will always with him. That year Korosensei lived and died repenting, because no matter how much he met Aguri in the beyond, no matter how much he had led his students a better future, he always had the fact that he could never tell her that he loved her, he could never make her stand by his side.

That was what Karma most feared, what he didn’t want to become. To be like Korosensei in that sense and to live just like him, to torture himself over and over for not saying or doing anything about the person he wanted to be with. And he knew that if he didn’t do something about Asano before her wedding, he would end up like that.

It was not until he learned about Asano’s and Ren’s engagement that he began to think about what he felt and how badly he had done things so far. He might have known it even before, but he hadn’t wanted to give it any importance.

Leaving aside the fact that he had confessed to her eight years late, it is not as if he had been horribly wrong with the girl in high school, that was a time they wanted or not, they enjoyed. He also thought they wouldn’t have gotten into this situation if he had said few things back then, but that was not what was in his mind. What worried him, what he regretted, and why he had almost ruined her marriage, were his later actions.

It was a foolishness, but no matter how much he had clung to Asano and the rivalry they had during those years like a clutch at straws, it gave him the impression that he had resigned himself to abandoning her once he found out she was going to another continent. Resignation, acceptance, anger, serious problems of abandonment, affective deficiencies, as he would like to call it, he didn’t remember well what he felt when he found out, but hif he had something he was sure was he wasn’t going to stop her, what would he do what? Gakushuu’s grades were excellent, she had been accepted in a great university, she had a bright and promising future ahead of her, and he was in the same situation, everyone had a goal to fulfill. Asano would start a new life in another country, leaving everyone behind, and he would do exactly the same thing in Japan, it wasn’t a big thing, right? Both knew how important was their future for the other and what they had to put aside in the process. It wasn’t a bad thing, nor a tragedy, Karma was sure he exaggerated -maybe because the situation reminded him about his parents and their constant departure abroad- but it was over, she won him in their last competition, everything he had to do was say goodbye to Asano, tell her that he would call her and that they would one see each other again.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t say goodbye, not a word, not a message, not even going to the airport to say goodbye, even though he knew she was waiting for him. He didn’t call her after she left either, or send letters, or packages with Japanese sweets as he had promised on their graduation. He didn’t do anything. Absolutely nothing. He stayed in Japan, studying, moving on with his life as anyone would have done, but bearing in his mind that his outspoken rival was on the other side of the world, waiting for a call from him. Call that he never deigned to do, and she didn’t return either. God… Why he didn’t call? He had her phone number on the list, often he even dialed it, he kept staring at his phone, debating whether to call her or not, and he always hung up. Why? It wasn’t difficult, it didn’t cost him that much, he could always send her a bad joke, a picture of a cat or a silly prank to break the ice, because he knew she would follow the game. It was a tug-of-war between the two, but it never came to an end.

He continued to not calling and the years passed, slowly, and between some things and others, both grew, both continued in their own ways. Karma still had her number, and Asano too, but no one ever called, as if they had forgotten the opposite, even if the didn’t.

And suddenly Asano returned to Japan, when Karma had already stopped wondering why he didn’t call her, she returned. He wasn’t able to contact her at that time, even though he knew he could see her again in person, or even meet her on the street, but he didn’t. He had the excuse that he was bundled with work and running a bank, but maybe it was also because of stubbornness or because he assumed that if he did, she would answer the call with a more than justified anger, because he has taken so long. But as he struggled again to find out whether it was right to call her or not, he was told that she was invited to the meeting of the former students, to which he had also been invited. His questions returned with more strength, his memories assailed him more than before, and an inexplicable emotion crossed him, because after all they were going to see each other again. They were going to see each other again. What would happen? Would they fight? Would they have another competition? What kind of competition? He didn’t know, but he came that night with a smile and some strawberry candies in his pockets, because he had promised to send her sweets to the United States a few years ago, and that night he would fulfill his promise, he could give them.

After all… It was never too late to do it, right?

Yes, it was.

He was very happy to see Asano after so long, she was beautiful. But that joy seemed to disappear completely when he saw the engagement ring on her finger, and then his world fell when he realized that it was Ren who was holding Asano’s hand. It was like receiving a bucket of cold water, his eyes opened slightly in surprise, but he could feign naturalness just in time, as the couple approached him to greet him.

That night they had a pleasant conversation, the typical one that used to take place in those events, to talk about that they hadn’t changed much and about was going on in their lives, what they were working on, that they were happy to see each other, to congratulate them for their engagement and to offer his help with the catering (something very stupid on his part). All fake, false and interested. Without the thrusts and challenges that he had been seeking, without giving Asano the candies he had in his pocket, and with a single question echoing in Karma’s mind.

“So, what did you expect?”

He asked that himself that night, and he kept doing it now, as the wedding went on.

Yes, what did he expect? A lot of years had happened, Ren and Asano had always got along well, he was popular and she was too, they made a good couple, they looked happy, everything was fine, they would be happy together, the deserved it.

And that bothered him.

It annoyed him, angered him, made him very angry. That night he left that reunion in anger and now he was still angry, even after what had happened. It was this anger that made him think, which made him realize that the “hatred” he felt so strongly towards Asano was something else. And his mind was suddenly a mess of questions whose answers always led him to a conclusion: This was his fault. His fault and nobody else’s. He deserved it, with his unmade calls, his unsent messages, his unopened sweets, his passivity and ignorance toward Gakushuu. And above of all: for his pride.

Did a part of him really think for a moment that she was going to wait for him? Did he think she was going to crawl to be by his side? That she would wait years for the moment to see him again for another one of his competitions? To see him again? To have… Something? Whatever?

No. Asano wasn’t like that. She didn’t wait, she didn’t want anything from anyone, unless it was for her benefit. She was a strong woman, who walked at her own pace, and if you could and wanted to follow her, she would be glad to have you by her side, to have someone who was at her level. But if at any point you were the one who decided to leave her behind, she wouldn’t stop you.

And just as Karma decided to let Asano go to the United States and didn’t try to contact her, it was Gakushuu who accepted that his rival didn’t want nothing of her and continued without him, joining Ren along the way.

It was like this, Karma had to accept it. He had noticed everything too late, he acted like a fool and now he was suffering the consequences. For him to be in that wedding he had no choice but to swallow his complaints and let the couple be happy forever.

But he didn’t want to, because the horrible and disgusting feeling of being defeated invaded him.

There it was, the fourth reason why he had done this nonsense, and possibly the most real and present of all: He felt like he had lost another war, which made him want to rush further towards Asano and confess as many times as it took for her to stop this crazy wedding.

As if he had been defeated, shot down in another contest. In which one? He wasn’t sure, because this wasn’t an exam, but a wedding. There were no difficult exercises to solve, no problems to answer, no equations to solve. By whom? By Sakakibara Ren.

Yes, he was totally sure about that. From the day of the student meeting, to that. He felt defeated by Ren, and that was another one of the reasons for him to be that angry.

“Why Ren? Why he?”

Sakakibara wasn’t even a big problem to Karma in high school. He was part of the five virtuosos, yes, but he didn’t stand out that much so as to take him into consideration. He had always been a quiet boy, nice to girls and good at literature. Even if he was good at the subject that Karma liked the least, he still couldn’t get over it.

“Then, why him?” He kept asking himself.

Karma seemed to experience the same sensation that a child would when someone took one of their favorite toys after leaving this aside from a long time.

The enormous and clear difference was that Asano wasn’t a toy, she was a woman who if she were to find out that she had been defined like that, she would him regret it for his whole life, but she was also woman who Karma left aside for years, hoping to meet again with her someday. However, Ren arrived earlier, found her earlier, treated her better than Karma had ever done and Gakushuu preferred him, causing Karma to repent for having ignored her rival long enough for her to throw the towel on him.

For the first time in many years, Karma saw Ren as a threat. A threat against which he couldn’t do nothing. But stubborn as he was, he tried. And it was that feeling of threat, of loss, of defeat, such of envy, that made Karma commit the stupidity of telling Asano to meet him and make such a hasty confession. As if it were a race against Sakakibara, as if Asano could really change her mind about something like that, which she obviously didn’t, it didn’t work, because it was crazy, but Karma insisted, insisted, insisted so much that he even kissed her. Everything for the sake of overcoming Sakakibara. But overcoming him in what? He had already lost, there was nothing to do, but Karma didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to admit it for himself, didn’t want to think that he had really had been defeated by Ren.

Korosensei repeated to him again and again that sometimes it was okay to lose, that defeat makes you experienced and humble, and it brings you more reasons to fight; but for him, now was happening the opposite. There were times when once you lose, you have nothing to do, everything is over, and to his disgrace this was one of those occasions.

Reality was beating Karma like a hammer, because his defeat, his failure and desperate attempt to win that battle, the consequences of his mistakes, he was witnessing everything. He was sitting there in front of what was the sentence and the end of his lost war: The damn wedding.

The damn, stupid and perfect wedding that everyone loves when sees it, except him. Because he had not only been abstracted in his thoughts during the middle of this, but he also had a childish and selfish question being repeated over and over in his head:

“Why him and not me?”

Yes, why Sakakibara and not him? Why? Why him? What did Ren have that he didn’t? What did Asano see in someone as boring as that novelist? If he wasn’t nobody next to him, he would never give Asano what he could, he was never a challenge, he was never a rival, he never saw beyond her mask as he did, he had always been apart. So, why him? He saw it unfair, wrong: In his inner tantrum, Karma thought that if there was someone in that room who deserved being with Asano, that was him, and no one else. Was he selfish? Yes, he was, but he didn’t care. Because it was Karma who made her grow, who helped her to get better day after day, who made her laugh genuinely with a simple joke, and what had Ren done? What had he done for her? He knew he had made mistakes, but were they too big for make Ren to make up for? He must have also made a mistake in something related to her at some point, right? He must have, because he had no more ideas to convince himself.

“I’m sure he has failed, too.” He thought angrily, he was so angry, so wounded in his pride. “He can’t be perfect, what could have he done that I haven’t? How did he get Asano to step on the aisle?”

That was his bigger concern, or his greatest hope if he thought about it in the most selfish way. He knew that Asano didn’t believe in marriage, she didn’t have confidence in it, she needed strong reasons to be there.

And the thought that Asano was doing it just only to please Ren and the society that forced her to marry to maintain a status and a good image, almost managed to make his inner rage grow larger, boiling her blood, clouded his thoughts of rage, wanting to make him get up and drag the woman to leave.

But suddenly, it stopped.

It stopped, everything stopped. His anger, his thoughts, his sudden grudge against Ren. It all vanished with a stroke. It left the moment Ren raised Asano’s veil delicately, to look her into her eyes with a smile. Everything was gone when Karma watched closely Asano’s eyes shone with happiness, as she gave Ren a sincere smile.

And he understood.

“Oh.” A whisper escaped for her lips.

Suddenly, seeing them together, he understood. Why they were there, why Asano was getting married, what Ren had done to get there, how he had gotten that stubborn woman to agree to spend her life by his side. He understood everything, his mind seemed to get blank, his lips parted and his consciousness seemed to sink into what he had just understood.

Love was a complex feeling, difficult to prove. It wasn’t about a signature on a paper, or a stunning ceremony, or elegant dresses, nor shared properties, nor gifts, nor huge house on the outside to live alone.

No.

Love was shown with actions, deeds, with sincere words, company and fulfilled promises.

Actions like the ones that Ren carried out for many years when they were in high school, such as helping Asano in the student council when they had a lot of paperwork, accompanying her to her home when they left school very late, waiting for her at the door of the school even during hours, encouraging her in the tournaments in which she participated with absolute knowledge that she was going to win, and many more things that the boy did every day, without expecting anything in return, things that both Karma and many students were seeing.

Acts like those he had been performing in the shadows, taking care of Asano without anyone but a few people realizing it. For example, distracting her from her duties and her books to clear her mind with a pleasant talk, bring her a drink or lunch even though the girl had specified that day she didn’t want to eat because she had so much to do, get her away from the crowds when students were getting too heavy, dragging her for a walk for her to forget her responsibilities for a moment.

Sincere words like the ones he said when he scolded her for not sleeping well for the sake of her studies, when he told her that she didn’t have to be angry with her father, when he congratulated her on her achievements and her grades, when he told her that he would wait for her in the school entrance in spite of the bad weather, that he would pick her up at any time and that he would miss her when she left, but that he would continue calling.

Company as the one which he always gave her, even before Karma enrolled on E class. Being able to pass through the barriers she imposed on anyone, also taking away her perfect mask, becoming his friend and confident, being able to call her by her name, being the most beloved within the group of the five virtuosos.

And he fulfilled his promises. Like going to say goodbye to her at the airport, like calling her and sending her messages everyday he could while they were studying, like waiting for her at any time, like being at her side and taking care of her. And above all, to welcome her with his open arms once she returned to Japan.

Yes, he understood. Now everything made sense to Karma.

If Asano was marrying Ren at that moment, it was because he had always proven her that she could could do it, because his words and actions showed it. The loyalty he always showed to her, his kindness, his patience, everything always there, clear as water, as well as his feelings towards the girl.

Karma realized that even though he had begun to see Ren as a threat after the engagement, the boy had always been. From the beginning, from the first minute, while Karma was fooling around with Asano, not wanting to admit how much he liked her, Ren only showed what she felt for her in the most sincere and pure way that anyone knew. And no matter how many people said that it was tedious, tiring, slow, and even sad, that way of doing things had gotten her to believe in him and to always do it. And now she was there, dressed as a bride and promising to him the same loyalty that he always showed her.

Ren did everything that Karma couldn’t do for Asano. The calls he wanted to make, Ren made them, the messages also were sent by Ren, and the sweets, and the postcards, and the visits, everything. Absolutely everything that the redhead promised and didn’t fulfill, another man did it. And so the love and feelings that Karma wanted to demonstrate so quickly were no longer worth anything, because Ren had already demonstrated it before.

Because a confession made in less than five minutes couldn’t exceed years of company and fulfilled promises.

So, while Karma decided to let Asano go to another country without even trying to contact her, it was Gakushuu who accepted that his rival didn’t want to know anything about her, and it was Ren who did everything that Karma never wanted to do.

“They make such a good couple.” He ended up thinking with some melancholy.

He had understood. That he could never do anything, that his confession to Asano had been in vain.

There was no reason to stop that wedding, there never was one. To believe that this marriage was going to end badly was stupid, because as much as Asano was a fake and a manipulator, there was no resentment among them, no competitions, no false statements, no unfulfilled promises.

“I want to hate them.”

He wanted to hate them, to hate them with all his will. He didn’t want to think they both deserved that happy ending.

He didn’t want to keep in mind that he still loved Asano, and that she deserved to be with someone as good as Ren, even if it meant leaving him behind for once and for all; And he didn’t want to recognise that Ren deserved a lot of credit for having gotten there, and he deserved to be able to love Asano as he always wanted.

He wanted to hate them, hate them, because if he not, where did that leave him? What was the use of being there? Someone who tried to destroy a marriage as selfishly as he had couldn’t think they deserved happiness, it was too hypocritical even for him. So, he needed to hate them.

And he was trying to hate and wish the worst to both of them with all his will when a tissue was tucked into his field of vision.

Karma blinked, confused, looking at the tissue, turning his head and looking curiously at the person who was holding it.

The lady who had been next to him during the entire ceremony and who hadn’t stopped crying because of emotion, gave him a gentle and tender smile with one of his many tissues. The redhead put a hand to his aching cheek instantly, thinking that perhaps a tear had escaped him, which wasn’t the case. It was impossible, isn’t it? No, he wasn’t crying, he wasn’t going to shed a single tear for that. So, why did the woman give him that tissue?

“Some people just cry on the inside, and you look like you’re doing it.” The woman whispered politely.

Karma was silent, not knowing what to answer. The ceremony was about to end, his thoughts were still haunting him, and the pressure in his chest was unable to leave. He didn’t even find an ingenuous comment to answer the lady with, he wasn’t in the right mood.

He took the tissue and looked up just in time to see how Gakushuu and Ren kissed in the aisle.

“I hate them.” He murmured with conviction.

No, he didn’t.

~0.0~

“I’m fine.” She thought.

Repeating these words continually in his mind, Asano sighed heavily, rested her hands carefully on the bathroom sink, and looked intently into the mirror, pausing to observe the state of her hairstyle, her makeup, the folds of the dress and the shape in which her white veil had been folded back so as not to cover her face.

“I’m fine.” She said to herself again. “Everything is fine.”

Yes, it was fine.

Her hairstyle hadn’t been undone, her makeup was still intact, the dress (despite its spots) remained precious and had generated the envy of many guests, her veil was well placed, her tiara too, the engagement ring remained in her hand and her radiant smile pleased those who saw her.

The wedding had been perfect, beautiful, idyllic even in the way the afternoon lights were sticking out the window, everything had been done just as they had planned. Despite the small incident with Akabane she had managed to get there in time, no one asked more than necessary questions and she was taken to the altar accompanied by her father. With her hands trembling slightly and trying not to notice her nerves, she pronounced her vows, exchanged alliances, and now was happily and legally married to Sakakibara Ren.

The happiest day of her life, they said.

The ceremony was over two hours ago, and now they were in the banquet. Of course, being held in one of the most luxurious and prestigious hotels in the city.

Even with the bathroom door closed, Gakushuu could hear the laughter and livelu conversations of the guests, the music to enliven the mood of the room, and the hurried footstepsof the waiters, who with hustle and bustle, they strove to carry and bring the food to the tables.

Everything was going according to plan.

She had married, had arrived at the hotel, had eaten, laughed, exchanged kind words with her employees and business partners who had been invited, handed out business cards, the small gifts of appreciation for having attended, and she had even been hugged effusively by Ren’s grandmother, who had been told that she hadn’t stopped crying in the whole ceremony and had spent more than eight packages of tissues.

And after hours of kind words, silly smiles and social interaction, she had locked herself in the bathroom with the excuse that she was tired.

It wasn’t an excuse really, she was tired.

She was tired and exhausted. Especially because her beautiful dress was stained and she had to see the disgusting face of Akabane’s prowling around the parlor.

“I’m not okay now.” She thought with anger.

Of course she wasn’t okay. How could she be okay? Nothing was okay!

Her dress, her beloved dress, and her wedding, he had ruined them. Akabane. She’d had to marry with a dress that was stained with the disgusting ground of the damn mountain of the E class building, could she fall any lower? God, a giant yellow octopus had been living on that mountain -Akabane had shown her some photos during high school, and she didn’t want to smear the memory of that creature, but he was so ugly- she bets that his remains were in the land she had crawled on her dress.

And it because of Akabane and his stupid confession’s fault, she hadn’t been focused enough to notice her mistakes and the wedding itself, it was as if her mind was somewhere else.

And that annoyed her, it pissed her off so much that she had to use a lot of self-control to pretend she didn’t mind all that and throw herself into the seats in the last row to try to hang Karma with his own tie.

“I should have slap him more than once.” She thought again frowning and clenching her fits, she was about to tremble with rage.

After a few seconds of reflection, she pulled away from the sink and the mirror slowly and then, she took a deep breath to reassure herself. She had to keep her composure, bury all her anger and irritation in one part of her mind and ignore them during the night. Her thoughts, of course, remained an absolute chaos, about Akabane, her high school years, the kiss, the confession, whatever they had or what they might have, but no, no. She didn’t have time to stop to look at these things, she still had so much to do, to direct and organize, people to talk to, business to secure, after all she was one of the protagonists of the night.

Shaking her head, she decided to focus and reached up to take a piece of paper from the sink dispenser, she wanted to try to hide the stains even more. The bridesmaids had done what they could when she barely made it to the wedding, but it was not enough, for her it would never be enough.

She was dipping the paper a bit on the water when a voice behind her distracted her:

“You’re not going to clean the dress with that.”

Gakushuu didn’t even have to look up to look trough the mirror and know who it was, she already knew that voice and the harsh tone with which he sometimes spoke to her.

Apparently she had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she had not noticed it when he had entered.

“This is the women’s bathroom.” She answered reproachfully.

Obviously she wanted him to leave, but it was evident that he wasn’t going to do it.

“And I’m the bride’s father.” Asano Gakuhou answered naturally.

Of course, what she had thought. The former director of Kunugigaoka had told her that in a kind of “I do want I want, because I can.” and it was so. No one was going to say anything to a father whose daughter had just been married and had been locked in the bathroom for more than twenty minutes, even she wondered why he hadn’t gone to find her before.

“What do you want?” She finished asking in a sigh and turning around t face him directly.

Out of mere habit, she was already thinking that she had done something wrong or that it wasn’t correct according to her fathe’s plans, which is why he would have gone to confront her to tell her what to do.

“Some guests are asking about you.” He informed her.

“Tell them I’ll be there in a moment.” She needed to be alone for a little while longer.

“That’s what I told them ten minutes ago.”

“Tell them that again.” She answered in a sharp tone. “Right now, they should be enjoying the desserts, I won’t take much longer.”

“They’ve already removed the desserts from the tables.”

Hearing that, Gakushuu couldn’t help but snort. Fine. She knew the itinerary and the menu of memory, down to the smallest detail, but that had not prevented her from losing her beloved chocolate mousse of the highest quality. Damn, she wanted it.

With another reason to be angry, Asano turned her back to his father without saying a word to take the paper again and try to clean the stains of her dress, since she couldn’t eat her dessert, she wouldn’t leave there until she fixed that.

And if she didn’t, there was a window large enough to escape in that bathroom.

The truth was, the idea was even tempting her. If she escaped through that window, she wouldn’t have to return to the hall and meet those guests whom she must smile to with so much falsehood. Except her family, and Ren’s, the rest of the five virtuosos, and a couple of more friends, most were strangers to her. Strangers she needed under her yoke for her company, so they should be there.

Then there were Akabane and Isogai Yuuma, which were a somewhat ambiguous case apart. Both were in the category of companions of high school who had arrived far in their fields and would be useful to her sooner or later. At least she hadn’t greeted them yet. They had both sat in the same table with Isogai’s couple and looked very lively, she thought was best not to disturb them at the moment. Besides, she didn’t want to do it, because even if Isogai was a good boy, she still wanted to kill Akabane and she knew that if she approached, she would break a bottle of champagne in Akabane’s head.

Maybe that was why she was still staring at the window, considering her possibilities. Was it better to climb a ledge or continuing to repress her murderous urges against Akabane in front of his friends?

“You will not escape through that window.” His father’s voice interrupted her thoughts again.

He had said that in an authoritarian way, folded his arms, as if he were a policeman, thinking that she was really going to do it. Gakushuu rolled her eyes, please, she was only considering it, but even she was aware that she had done too much nonsense for a day, she wouldn’t be able to do much more.

“What’s making you think I want to do it?” She replied, somewhat offended. “I would spoil my dress even more.” She tried to say it in a mocking tone, to ignore the accusation that his father had just made, but she had the feeling he wasn’t going to stay there.

“Where did you go before the ceremony?”

There he was.

So direct, without hiding it, he didn’t even go around the issue to face it with subtlety, no. Gakuhou asked his daughter directly, knowing that was something wrong from the beginning. The excuse she had given when she was almost late would have been believed by the bridesmaids, maybe by Ren and the guests, but not him, it was very difficult to lie to him.

“I already told you.” She shrugged and answered with indifference, even though she knew he wouldn’t believe it, she had to cling to her lie. “I was nervous, I went for a walk in the park.”

It was the most silly and simple excuse of the world, but convincing in its way. There was a park with a large lake near the place where the wedding was held, so she told the lie to everyone that she had gone to stroll there, that she was distracted looking at the ducks of the lake and stained herself when she got into the gardens to look at the flowers. It was even adorable.

“And Akabane also enjoyed that walk?”

Shit.

She knew it.

Trying to hide something from her father was impossible. It was out of reach, no matter how many times she tried or how, he always found out what happened. She hated that part of him more than any other, it was like a dog, following a trail of clues to get the truth and then throw it them her face in a kind of “Look, I found out everything. I win, again.” It made her feel helpless.

Now what she was sure of was that he knew she had been with Karma before the wedding, but he couldn’t know everything, right? How much did he know about it?

“I don’t know what are you talking about.” She chose the easiest option, which was to be a fool. “Why was Akabane be there?”

Gakuhou raised an eyebrow, looking at her in disbelief. It was clear that he knew it, but she didn’t want to recognize it. How much would it hurt to admit that she had gone to that date with the redhead hours before the wedding? Very much. Specially to his father, who was the one who had invested much of the money for that celebration.

“The two of you are almost late for the wedding, and the land you’ve stained your dress on is the same on that Akabane has in his shoes.” The man said. “Besides, you have looked at him sideways while you were pronouncing your votes.”

Damn him his ability to observe. Did he never stop? He was aware of things she even ignored. Has she looked at Karma when she pronounced her vows? She didn’t even remember, but apparently she did, and his father had noticed. As usual.

At this point, she knew that he was telling her indirectly that he noticed that something had happened between them and that he hoped to be told, about it which she didn’t want. But Gakuhou wasn’t someone to surrender easily, so she would have to tell him something, something, anything that would reassure him and make it clear that he had not paid for that wedding at all, or distract him from the subject.

“If you’re worried about not having grandchildren, stop. You will have them.” He tried to change the subject with indifference, hoping that he would follow the game.

The issue of decadence was something they would have to deal with sooner or later, right? Surely his father wanted a grandson, and she would give it to him, for sure. If by grandson he understood a cat or a bunny, even a hamster, she couldn’t decide. Because she made sure to tell Ren that she refuses to carry during nine months in her womb a snotting machine that only knew how to eat and sleep, she had better things to do than to be a mother, and she hated babies.

His father knew, maybe with that premise they would start discussing the subject and forget about Akabane.

“And that grandson will be by Sakakibara or Akabane?” He asked.

Asano sighed in exasperation, okay, it was over. He really was determined to get an answer, whatever she said. That way she couldn’t even think.

“Okay. What do you want to know?” She asked directly, facing him. “Because I don’t want to be listening to these insinuations all night, let’s end this.”

The mand folded his arms and she lifted her head proudly. She knew what was coming: a kind or merciless interrogation. She was used to it anyway.

“Were you with Akabane before the wedding?” That question was certainly stupid now, both of them already knew the answer.

“Yes.” She couldn’t deny it.

“What did you do?”

“It’s none of your business.”

She was aware of how badly that answer had sounded. But even if it were, Asano would never tell what happened there. What his father was thinking was true, she has been unfaithful to Sakakibara on one way or another. With that stupid kiss, she would never recognize.

“Are you goint to get a divorce?” A smart question.

“No”

“Really?”

“No!”

“We’re still in time to find good lawyers, Gakushuu.”

Caling her by her name made the environment even more serious. The girl rolled her eyes. Of course, after all it was about him too, right? He cared about him, his money and his public image. A daughter who celebrated a wedding and then divorced in a few months wasn’t something that gave them a good image. If she separated from Ren, she would do it good. But she couldn’t blame him, his father was like that and she was an adult now, she couldn’t make him deal with her problems.

“We don’t have to. I love Ren.” She answered convinced.

It was true, she loved him, she really did. She had married him because her feelings were real and genuine, she wanted to spend her life by his side and she knew that he wanted it too, she thought it could work. The idea of getting a divorce, or leaving him, was impossible. For many confessions that Akababane made, or many windows she would stare at, she wouldn’t change her decision to be with Ren.

“But you love Akabane too.”

That statement paralyzed her for a few seconds. She opened her eyes in surprise, but soon after that she recovered and nooded effusively. She coould ask to his father many things right now, but it wouldn’t do anything. Her father knew her, and could see beyond her.

In any case, he was wrong in his estatement.

She didn’t love Karma. She did, but not anymore.

To fall in love with him was a complete headache, a bittersweet love. Karma was heavy, irritating, impolite, and he was always late. Why among all the students did she have to look at him?

Maybe it was because she was passing through a small stage of teenage rebellion and everything that represented a disobedience to authority attracted her, Akabane was rebellious himself and attractive, he had to attract her attention; Of course there was also the fact the they were evoked rivals, enemies to death, warriors matched up, something she appreciated in her own way, and she had to admit that her life would have been certainly bored without someone to fight against; Yes, Karma was not anybody to her, he never was. They were so equal and so different and the same time that they became relatively easy to be close, even intimate, he had said it during their encounter: if they had been able to approach each other so much was because they were not afraid to hurt the other, and it was true. Neither she nor Karma had to speak carefully, or lie, or hide their smiles and gestures, all they had to do was find themselves and be themselves, as they were, everything was so natural between them… So real.

Falling in love with him was as easy as letting him break through the barriers of his heart.

Asano could feel it, during those years, those feelings. She knew it, she always knew it. That what she felt was not simple hatred, it was something more complex. Something complex that she hoped Karma also understood, because sometimes the tension between them became really unbearable, because his looks in the study room didn’t go unnoticed, because she couldn’t ignore the way the boy seemed to go into a contradiction when she made an unexpected move.

But despite knowing it, living with it, she never spoke. Why she have to do it? If Karma wouldn’t, she wouldn’t either. And she didn’t have time for romance, or for a relationship, she wanted to focus on other things, to study and to work without resting, to carve the bright future that everyone expected of her, and to continue ahead.

So she waited for it, it was one of the few things in her life when Gakushuu was resigned to wait for, because even if she was aware of what was going on between the two, something told her that Karma had no idea, and she wasn’t going to be the one who told him or take the first step, she wasn’t going to take that down. So she waited for Karma to realize, for him to take the step, for him to say “I like you” over time, to solve the tension between them, the unresolved issue they had always maintained.

But he didn’t

Why he didn’t?

A part of her hoped he would. She really expected it. As she went on without him, as the years passed, there was a little voice within her that was bothering her again and again, telling her that she wasn’t only waiting for that “I like you”, that she hoped for many things, she wanted them, but maybe they were too many.

She waited for him at the airport when she left for the United States, but he never showed up; She waited for a call during her stay in the university, but that never came; She waited for a message in her voicemail, in her mail, skype, anywhere, that neither arrived; And she waited for those candy-filled packages he had promised to send her, and apparently never bought.

And she got tired. She was so tired.

Tired when her heart pounded at the sight of red hair in the crowd, as if he had really come to visit her; tired of looking at her phone over and over again, unconsciously excited to receive a call, or a message, but to be disappointed to see that there wasn’t anything; tired of watching the mailman arrive or check the mailbox waiting to find something, whatever he had sent her; tired of thinking that he didn’t want to let her go and that once she returned to Japan he would waiting for her.

But it wasn’t like that, everything was disappointing, maybe even painful. The little voice inside her waiting for those things ended up crying in silence, convincing herself at the end that Karma had let her go, and she had to respect that. And that’s the reason why she didn’t call or want to contact him, she was better than that and she should continue to reach her goals. She gave up, she threw the towel and stopped waiting for Karma to realize what they felt for each other. Years passed, seven, eight years and that had no solution, after all, high school romances didn’t usually end well, and that one was really complicated and diffuse.

The part of her that would have corresponded to Karma if he had confessed before, died. And then, she reunited with Ren.

It wasn’t a reunion itself, because Ren never let her go. And that dead part of her seemed to be revived in the moment she arrived at the airport and saw the one who had been her friend and confidant waiting for her at the boarding gate.

Ren did what Akabane didn’t do, and without saying. So, why not?

And now there she was, at her wedding. Reliving those memories that made no sense and having to convince her father that she hadn’t cheated Ren with his old love from high school.

It was surreal, the whole situation.

What was Karma thinking about? Why right now? That “I like you” should have been said eight years ago, even six, or five, but not now. Why did he always have to be so unpredictable and untimely? It didn’t help, to tell her the words she had been waiting so long for before her wedding, he really didn’t help. She wanted to think with all her will that it was another heavy joke, but then that kiss came, and that mockery. She was so angry.

Didn’t he realize how much he hurt her?

She was strong and determinate, but that didn’t mean that she had no feelings, no matter how deeply she buried them very carefully in the brackground, she had them. And her biggest problem with Karma was that being so natural, it was too easy for him to see her feelings and break them, without stopping to think for a moment.

And it was too late to remedy that.

“No.” She answered his father with conviction. “Not anymore.”

A tense silence filled both for a moment. No wonder his father was aware of his history with Karma, surely that was the biggest reason why he was there.

“At least he had the courage to confess at the last moment.” The man said indifferently.

Gakushuu gave him a slight smile, in disbelief. Of course the ex-chairman had to know, he knew everything. He had probably deduced what had happened watching carefully. It didn’t matter now.

“Go away.” Asano asked with a sigh.

She didn’t want to talk about it anymore, she didn’t want to think anymore. She was exhausted.

She saw his father nod through the mirror and turn to head to the door.

“I saved a dessert for you.” He told her before he left.

Gakushuu didn’t have time to turn around and answer, because his father left as quickly as he could by saying that. But she couldn’t help but smile, a bit more cheerful and relieved.

Karma was a headache that disappointed her, and Ren made up for something of that mess that had been her love life.

But if there was anything she was sure of, it was that no one would love her as much as her father did (and vice versa).

~0.0~

“I want to go.” Karma thought distracted looking at his glass of champagne. “When will this finish?”

Shaking that glass a little and frowning, the redhead leaned his body lightly on the railing of the balcony on the terrace.

Luckily for him, the other guests were too busy chatting, eating or having a good time to want to spend a quiet time on the terrace. Se there he was, alone with his thoughts, with a half-full glass and watching the lights of the city that twinkled in the darkness of the night. It was late, for how long had they been there? Quite a while, apparently. Although, to tell the truth, the banquet had been more lively than the wedding. The food was good (which was part of his merit), the atmosphere was still relaxed, he had spoken and exchanged business cards with important business people who would be of great benefit to him in the future and, above all, the presence of Isogai and Maehara encouraged him.

He wasn’t surprised to know that Isogai was also invited, after all he knew that of all people of the E class, Isogai was the one that Asano had more esteem towards, they talked quite enough and they maintained contact by subjects of the student council and delegation, and the brunette was very nice, someone whom everyone would love at a wedding, not to mention that he had also come far in his field, he deserved to be there. Then there was Maehara, who… Well. He was Isogai’s boyfriend, they had been going out for years, they’re like a pack.

“Besides, I think that Maehara and Ren got along well.” Karma though mockingly. Womanizers understood each other, right?

The fact was, even though the banquet had been the best of the day, he had fulfilled certain social obligations and enjoyed sitting with his friends, Karma had finally reached a point where he was tired of seeing Maehara and Isogai acting like lovebirds.

Tired and envious.

So he took a glass, filled it with champagne, went to the balcony , and stayed there. Drinking, watching the landscape and enjoying the air and the cold wind that stirred his hair. It was a moment of tranquility amidst the hectic pace of his day.

“I’ll adopt a cat.” He kept thinking. “Why not?”

He was thinking about what breed or what color he would like to adopt his new pet when a voice at his side interrupted that important task.

“It’s starting to get cold, uh?”

He recognized that voice instantly, and he didn’t like it.

“If I throw myself from here, hopefully I will only spoil the suit.” The redhead thought looking slightly down at the balcony. He was serious.

He knew that what this person had told him was a mere formality, a way to start a conversation. But being the only one with whom he didn’t want to speak alone throughout the wedding, Karma was very annoyed to have him leaning on the railing right next to him.

“Sakakibara.” He replied as a greeting.

“Akabane.” The brunete said with a friendly smile. As nice and honest as ever.

How uncomfortable, that was really uncomfortable.

Karma didn’t even want to look at him. Because being alone with Ren after having tried to ruid his marriage with asano wasn’t something that made him feel wery proud, in addition, he was still trying to find reasons to hate him, or self-convincing himself to do so.

“Nice wedding.” A compliment was all he could give him. I wasn’t a lie either, it had been fine.

“Thank you.” The other answered. “Although it is Asano’s merit.“

He said that last thing with a tired sigh, something that made Karma giggle and drink from his glass to hide it. Of course it was Asano’s, if she didn’t try to plan the wedding alone without help from anyone, she’d explode.

“Shouldn’t you be inside, with the guests?” Karma insinuated. Yes, he wanted to be alone.

“I should.” The other said. “But it doesn’t hurt to rest once in a while, right?”

Karma didn’t answer. His only response was a shrug and another sipped at his drink, leaving behind another tense silence that neither knew how to break.

The redhead didn’t know what to say, or rather, he had nothing to say. It wasn’t necessary.

Even if Ren wasn’t aware of what he had done, he knew he was the bad guy in the whole story, and he accepted it.

It could be seen as the typical children’s stories, but with some changes. Karma was the dragon or monster who tried to take the princess Asano at the last moment and to keep her just for him as part of a treasure, but the princess saved herself by slapping him and fled from the dragon, running into the arms of prince Ren to keep him from the evil monster that had hurt her.

And now the prince and the dragon were alone there. Being aware that one of them had obtained its happy ending with the princess, while the other, due to his actions, had earned his completely justified hatred, but without opportunity to redeem or explain himself, just like the bad ones in the stories, right? They were never given a chance, they were never asked why they did what they did, they never tried to understand them.

“It’s not that I have to explain anything to him, either.” The redhead thought with boredom. It was likely that he had believed Asano’s lie and didn’t know that they almost didn’t marry because of him. He didn’t have to know anything.

He was lost in those thoughts, until Ren’s voice interrupted him again.

“Here.” He told him and then lifted one of his hands to give him something.

When Karma turned his head to look at him and realized he was holding a candy from the United States, he almost dropped his glass on the floor. He could hide that surprise in time, or so he thought.

“Gakushuu bought them abroad for you.” Ren explain. “I know she wanted to give them the day of the meeting of former students, I don’t know why she didn’t, so I’ll give them to you. I had a hard time hiding them.

Enough.

Enough, he’d had enough.

Why? He knew he was the bad guy, he knew he had had hurt Asano by ignoring her for so many years. But this? This was insurmountable. Even Asano herself was willing to keep a promise he hadn’t kept. And on top of it, it was Ren himself who acted as intermediary.

Great, now they were both too kind.

“Thank you.” He said in a firm voice, trying to conceal his nervousness.

It had really surprised him, but he was impassive all the time and took the candy bag slowly. In silence, he stopped to watch the candies closely, strawberry, his favorite flavor, something that Asano would certainly remember.

And those candies were meant to be given that night, the same night that Karma also had a bag of sweets in his pockets, ready to give it. He couldn’t give it because he was too busy being a selfish pig and getting angry for his engagement, but she? Why didn’t she do it? He didn’t know, and he wouldn’t ask, he didn’t want to know more.

Was this all a heavy joke of faith?

“She liked you.” Ren said seriously. “A lot.”

Yes, it was.

Karma squeezed the bag of candy in his hands and looked at Ren reproachfully. Was this why he had come? To give him the damn bag of candy and scold him? Knowing that Asano liked him at some point while he just seemed to be playing with her, made him feel worse tan anything else.

“You’re not so naive after all, huh?” He said with a sigh. “Why are you telling me this now?”

For which reason? If he and Gakushuu were already married. She no longer felt anything for Karma, it was very clear. She liked him, while he didn’t know if he corresponded to her, she liked him, and he hurt her unconsciously. But that was already part of the past, and he doubted Ren would want to throw it in his face (unless he had heard about of his date with his wife in the morning), because the poet was not someone he’d like to hurt.

What he got from him was his response with another radiant smile.

“It’s time to finish your incomplete love story, don’t you think?”

Karma was silent again, until a laugh escaped from his lips.

Wow, who was going to say it?

Maybe that was unexpected, but not that much, actually. In the end, Ren wasn’t a fool, he had never been one, and he didn’t fall as fast in Asano’s tricks as everyone thought. He had turned out to be the smartest and the most observant. And that was why he had gotten there.

He was a worthy rival.

“You make a good couple.” Karma concluded, much to his regret, with a smile. “Congratulations.”

After all, the dragon had to appreciate the effort the prince had made to be with the princess, no matter how much it hurts.

~0.0~

“Asano! Where have you been?”

It had not been five minutes since Gakushuu had returned to the room, when she heard Seo’s voice heading towards her.

Tying her hair, she turned to look at her friend, who was next to her husband, Teppei and Koyama, who seemed to have been looking for her. She gave them a sincere smile at the sight of the four of them coming together, remembering so many things, and they had grown so much, it was nostalgic. She was certainly glad to have them.

“I have issues to attend to.” She explained as she reached their side.

If by “issue” they understood eating a chocolate mousse with her father hidden from everybody.

As soon as she got out of the bathroom, she followed him and they sat in silence in a closed room so that she could have something to eat, because the hustle and bustle of the wedding and attending to the diners it was not as if she had enjoyed the menu so much. To tell the truth, it had been a moment they had enjoyed, he ate her dessert in silence and thanked his father for saving it for her. Just… It was one of those father-daughter moment that were rarely presented to them and in which no words were needed.

“More?” Teppei asked surprised. “But you haven’t stopped all day.”

“What are you surprised about?” Natsuhiko joked. “You can’t relax even on your wedding day, huh?”

“Now that you say so…” Asano put a finger to her chin, in a thoughtful gesture, following the joke. “I must make sure to tell the bridesmaids not to approach any of you.”

She heard Ren’s laugh followed by an exclamation from the other three. She almost laughed too, it was fun to tease them about their llove affairs, hers wasn’t the onlu disastrous one.

“Ey!”

“It’s no t funny!” Koyama demanded.

“You can always adopt a cat.” She said with a mocking smile.

It was the same advice she’d given to Akabane hours earlier, but it was a good advice. The others three returned to protest and she continued to endure the laughter, until their beloved Ren came to appease things and explained why they were looking for her.

“Well, okay.” He said. “Actually, we wanted to take some pictures. You have not had time to yet, haven’t you?”

It was when her husband mentioned the photos that Gakushuu saw the camera that Seo had been carrying in his hands all the time. They were right, she had been so busy that she had not had a chance to take some pictures with her friends, and that would be a waste, she would like to have some.

She shook her head and smiled at them, gesturing with her hand so they could stand beside her and take a picture. She was immediately surrounded by them, posing together to get right in front of the camera, ignoring the flash of it and wanting to remember those moments in the future.

The five were enjoying that little moment with their pictures until an irritating voice had to interrput them.

“Oh! What a beautiful picture! Can we join?”

Asano didn’t have time to say “no” before Karma put an arm around her to stick to it.

Dammit.

He saw Ren smile and the other three greeted Akabane and those who accompanied him with a nod, apparently Isogai and the blond boy were behind them. Asano turned her head to look at them, she would greet them properly if it weren’t because Karma was embracing her. Didn’t he know about personal space?

“The E class members don’t have the privilege of taking pictures with us.” She replied with a mocking tone.

Clearly, she was hinting at the old days. Although unlike in these, most laughed at that reply and took it quite well, it was so long ago and so many things had happened that there was no longer any kind of resentment between them. They took it as a kind of joke.

“I bet that our presence doesn’t spoil your photos as much as the stains of your dress.” Karma said with a chuckle.

Ah.

There they were.

The urges to trample Akabane’s face into disfigurement. Gakushuu almost gave tic in the eyebrow and made a judo key to him to defeat him, the dress was stained because of him, and if that wasn’t enough, he made fun of it. Damn it. And why didn’t he let her go? His arm was warm, like a walking stove.

“Karma!” Isogai scolded him from behind with a chuckle from Maehara in the background.

“What? It’s true.” He redhead said naturally.

Well, he had some merit, he was a good actor and he could piss her off no matter what happened between them.

“They’re only a few spots, they will be removed easily.” Gakushuu answered with a tall head, proud as always.

“Oh? A few?” Karma raised his hand to peck Asano’s cheek with his finger, knowing that would irritate her even more. “And, what happened? The dress was so beautiful, what a pity you didn’t care well of it…”

It was when Asano decided to bite Karma’s finger to rip it off, when the flash of the camera aimed at them stoped them.

The two stood still, blinked, and when they looked up they found Maehara with the camera in his hand and Seo instructing him to use it.

“Maehara!”

“Seo!”

They both complained at the same time, scolding their friends for taking a picture without warning in such an intimate position. However, they didn’t seem to regret it, in fact, they were very busy watching carefully the photo that they had taken.

“Wow… You’re look really good.” Maehara said totally convinced.

“It’s true.” Seo said with a nod, and it seemed he could hardly believe it.

Both Karma and herself had to suppress a little blush. Of course they look good, because they had caught them being just as they were with each other… Natural, without lies.

“Delete it.” Asano ordered instantly.

“Why?” Maehara asked, looking disappointed. It seemed he didn’t want to get rid of his creation.

“Yes, why?” Ren agreed. “I think you two should have more pictures together.”

Gakushuu inclined her head in confusion, even Teppei and Natsuhijo looked at Ren oddly. Now her husband was against her? Why would he want to she be photographed with Akabane now? She didn’t know, but she heard Karma sigh at her side.

“They are right.” This time was Isogai and his friendly tone who indicated that she was right. “The two best students in Kunugigaoka together again, years after their contests. It’s something worth to portray.”

Asano shuddered, and she could feel Karma shuddering, too.

“How stupid.” She said instantly.

He didn’t really think that, it was a pretty good idea and it would nice to take a photo with Karma if it weren'r so difficult be at his side at that moment.

Difficult, very difficult.

But apparently Karma didn’t think the same.

“Just one.” The redhead said, releasing the grip of his arm on her and putting on his tie.

He noticed the girl’s reproachful look at him, but he ignored her. Because even if she hadn’t known it, he know what Ren intended to have them taken that picture.

Moreover, it was him who pushed the rest of the virtuosos away from the scene by telling them to take advantage of this moment to talk to the bridesmaids, leaving them alone with Isogai and Maehara, wo woudn’t say nothing, they were good friends.

“It’s time to finish your incomplete love story, don’t you think?”

He was right. Ren was right, it was time to end it all, tu put an end to it. Despite his efforts, despite his confession that morning, there was nothing to do, it was over. There were no longer loose ends, no unfulfilled promises, no more reproaches, no grudges.

And what a better way to remember the end of that bittersweet love than with a photo?

That’s why Karma gently grabbed Asano from the waist and pulled her to his body to pose, hoping to avoid another slap. She tensed at first due the position, Isogai smiled wistfully and Maehara just opened his mouth in surprise behind the camera.

However, in spite of everything, Gakushuu inclined her head to look into his eyes for a few seconds, trying to understand the meaning of all that. She seemed to understand it, because after looking at him seriously, she smiled slightly and shook her head. They didn’t need words to understand.

“I hate you.” The girl murmured. He would have believed her if it hadn’t been because she’d said it with some affection.

The woman wrapped a hand around his waist as well, clung to him and clung to each other’s hand as if in a sort of mutual understanding, posing as if they were a couple at the high school ball, or rather, newlyweds.

They gave a sincere smile, with a slight sad and distressed air. The flash blinded them for a few seconds and it was all over.

They knew that it was over, it was the end.

Karma squeezed Asano’s hand slightly between his, as if trying to memorize its touch, the softness and warmth it conveyed. Gakushuu said nothing, let himself be done in silence, looking intently at their entwined hands.

If they hadn’t been so stubborn, they would have done that years before.

“Gakushuu.” Ren’s voice caught their attention.

He was behind them and the slow music had begun to ring through the speakers. It was time for the bride and the groom to hold hands and dance together slowly in the center of the room.

They both raised their heads and looked into each other’s eyes, Karma smiled, Asano nodded.

“Goodbye.” She told him as she let go of his hand.

Yes, it was a goodbye. A farewell to their small, useless and fruitless romance.

Karma’s hand felt cold when they separated, but he didn’t complain. He watched as she grabbed Ren’s hand just after releasing hers, symbolically beginning a new love story having ended the failure that was his.

As Asano and Ren began to dance, Maehara patted him on the back and Isogai stood next to him, supporting them both in silence. He appreciated it, but at that moment he had only one thought in his head:

And it was that of all the advices that he had follow of Korosensei throughout his life, he had only one that he hadn’t been able to fulfill: not being late.

He was feeling regret more than he ever did before.

#Fic #submission #Ansatsu Kyoushitsu #Assassination Classroom #Asano Gakushuu

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