#ah rambling aside... sorry i'm just emotional from some stuff i just watched

[tekatonic]

guys you're actually so insane for this

this isn't shit that happens

like, what, i'm legit stunned !

[mallowstep]

What happened to Reedwhisker in your AU? In Canon, he is Mistyfoot and Blackclaw's only surviving kit. (Tbh I have NO IDEA how the poor boy survived Tigerclan in Canon. He was an apprentice, his mom and uncle were locked up, his remaining siblings were also locked up-I-... sometimes I look at some of your information on your Misty AU and think about that with THAT Canon fact, that Reedpaw, somehow, escaped the prison hole and torture but had to watch Tigerstar with his Mom, him abusing her, his uncle 'killed,' his brother starved, his sister being abused to where she gets sepsis, and eventually this child grows into a Tom. Something...Misty doesn't like.... This poor fucking child. I think about Reedwhisker alot and what he saw, and just....like...I'm glad this is such a fucking horrible thing to say) you didn't keep him alive like in Canon in your AU, but sometimes the idea of him living through the Misty AU like in canon...that keeps me up at night. Like. Him, alone in the apprentices den until Twanypaw shows up, him wondering Why He was so special not to be targeted by Tigerstar as well? Him, eyes wide as he watches Tigerstar playing house with his mom, his father being an absolute dick, Mudfur doing his best to both keep an eye on Reedpaw and keep him out of sight, just...this child has seen shit and....just Reedwhisker making himself smaller around Feather and Misty, or being the first to jump to their defense at any perceived slight. Just him.

ah, reedwhisker. yes, i feel with you. i too wonder a lot about him in canon, to the point where i often forget he lived through tigerclan.

i killed him because i really, really, really wanted tigerstar to say,

"Ah, I'm sorry," he says. "They're dead, aren't they?"

to mistyfoot. that's pretty much it. that and -- i needed her whole first litter of kits to be dead for the emotional arc, but i could've killed him during the great battle for those purposes. primrosepaw is said to die of greencough, and so in the misty au, that's how reedpaw died as well.

but. putting that aside for the sake of digging into the absolutely wonderful angst of him not dying that i sadly, due to narrative, had to pass up,

(see this is part of why i like talking abt ideas. i don't Have to worry about Story Arcs. i'm allowed to just enjoy myself.)

okay so -- uh i should put a cut in yeah.

cw: sexual assault

okay so -- i have dawnpaw down as an apprentice at the same time as featherpaw and co, so reedpaw is thankfully not Terribly alone. also, cedarpaw and rowanpaw of shadowclan but -- dawnpaw doesn't talk to them. and nor would reedpaw.

Dawnpaw watches her with barely veiled contempt. "Ignore her," Rowanpaw says. "She's like that with everyone." Dawnpaw flicks her tail. She doesn't eat with them, and the only reason she sleeps in the same den as them is by necessity. Heavystep beckons her over. "RiverClan thinks they're all that," Rowanpaw says. "You know how it is."

rowanpaw you socially inept idiot.

anyway, i think...maybe it's best if he escapes through subterfuge? maybe tigerstar doesn't know that he's mistyfoot's kit and no one tells him and when they realize what's happening -- if they can save just one apprentice, of course they would lie about it.

(also, for added angst, in the misty au, blackclaw and mistyfoot fall out because the combined stress of losing four children and mistyfoot being revealed as half clan. so -- blackclaw and mistyfoot are like. way better in this. hnng.)

oh yeah. he has a lot to watch dear god in heaven. he'd prob be made to fight featherpaw too? like oh my god. ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

okay if i wrote the misty au like this, the scene where featherpaw beats dawnpaw would be replaced with featherpaw beating reedpaw. just so you know. that angst would be there. and mistyfoot is like "aw fuck."

because they can't talk about reedpaw even in their prison. they could be overheard, and then reedpaw would be -- maybe killed. or featherpaw would be. or both of them. so they can't say a word about it, ever, ever ever ever.

and -- i think. oh god. i dunno. i think -- i mean it's hard for everyone. obviously. but featherpaw knows mistyfoot intimately, like. the way you do when you go thru something with someone. you understand and predict their reactions in a very specific way.

and stonefur and stormheart are both angry. stonefur is a lot "colder" of an anger, and stormheart doesn't have any published pov, but he's angry.

but reedpaw -- reedwhisker. he knows but did not experience, he's angry but also aware of how his anger would be perceived by his mother and sister and. oh. god. the angst.

and -- god. he wouldn't even like. okay so maximum angst would be keeping the line about kits and tigerstar just -- doesn't realize reedpaw is one of mistyfoot's kits, which means that tigerstar knows that blackclaw and mistyfoot are mates, which means that reedpaw can't even look to his father for comfort. he's got dawnpaw, and again, sharing a den with shadowclan apprentices. so he just -- has to pretend that this is all dispersonal.

like of course he feels bad about it -- all of riverclan does -- but he can't let on that this is his family. hnng.

and oh my god like. yeah. tawnypaw and reedpaw as "way too aware of the misty/tiger shit."

tawnypaw as "my father is raping someone regularly and is proud of it and he wants me to be supportive of it?"

and reedpaw as "my mother is being raped and we're not even supposed to be upset about it and i think he would probably kill my sister if i let on that they're my family so i just have to be okay with this despite being extremely not okay with this."

(and mistyfoot as. oh my god mistyfoot. i'm so sorry.

like this scene

Mudfur tries to approach her, as she walks back to Featherpaw, but she doesn't acknowledge him. That is the condition, she thinks, because no one is walking her back. They are watching her, of course, but she walks freely to Featherpaw.

like oh my god. oh my god. what does -- like. ahhh. she's hurt in this scene -- maybe visibly, maybe not. certainly -- clan knows what happened last night. and now she's walking across camp and she's -- if she derails or acknowledges anyone then -- she doesn't know what will happen but she doesn't think it'd be good.

and she really wants to know is if her son is okay. is he okay is he okay is he okay. but she can't do or say anything. mudfur can't do or say anything. blackclaw can't do or say anything. they all have to keep this secret and -- oh.)

yeah. i don't know who reedpaw's mentor is...oh. no.

okay here's a fun idea. shadepelt as reedpaw's mentor. she's a little young but hear me out. reedpaw gets reassigned to a shadowclan mentor because shadepelt might have corrupted him and. oh. oh my god.

anyway. wait that's actually. because pre-rescue, shadepelt and mudfur and all of riverclan are keeping reedpaw out of sight. just. trying to not to fail everyone. but now his mentor is like.

his mentor is blackfoot. you know. one of. oh my god.

tawnypaw and reedpaw as "we're supposed to be from okay to supportive of this" oh my god.

and reedwhisker would wrack up so much survivor's guilt. feathertail would -- probably be scared of him. she really only fights shadowclan cats but -- they want reedpaw to prove his loyalty. and she doesn't want to be -- that's her brother, she loves him -- but she can't help it.

bet she Tries To Hide It.

reedwhisker would Definitely step in. i think he'd blame blackclaw. for not doing more. yeah. that's good angst. he'd also.

okay so. when stormpaw comes back. reedpaw has been -- they've had not even a day of freedom. and he's already juggling all of this complicated stuff but then stormpaw terrifies featherpaw and reedpaw is so mad at him.

like. she wanted to see you, was happy to see you -- how do you fuck it up that bad?

it's not that it's actually stormpaw's fault, but reedpaw feels like it is.

all of the apprentices are now At Odds with one another. ahhh. angst.

and i think -- yeah. he'd actually probably be mad at stormpaw for a while. it'd be mutual.

because stormheart is like -- why didn't you do something? and reedwhisker is like -- why didn't you come back for them? and.

yeah. and the whole thing makes Feathertail Feel Terrible and when they realize that she's been caught in the crossfire now they just are angry at themselves.

god. anyway. thanks for giving me more angst to ramble about.

<3