#ahahahaha no im not Projecting wdym

[cannibalismyuri]

i didn't mean it like... that. i didnt mean it like anything. i didnt mean to. it seems like all i do lately is hurt people.

im hurting her, im hurting you, im hurting all of our friends. it isn't fair. i'm always the asshole. i try and try to be a better person, a good person.

but in the end im always the one with the sharpest cut to his words. in the end im always the one that makes you cry. in the end im always the one who has to say goodbye.

i grieve what i never should've lost and its worse because i know its my fault. you're always there when people want you to be, im never there when people need me, let alone want me.

but i guess nobody ever really needs me, do they? she doesn't, she's proved that. you probably dont either. i've spent my entire life being nice, being cool, being good enough to be unique. so that im not a one-off. so that i cant be replaced.

it seems like everything i do lately is detrimental to that. it feels like being nice and trying to be good just comes way more easily to everyone else. everyone has already reached the finish line and im still huffing and puffing my way along the track.

especially him. he's so kind and sweet to people that don't even deserve it. he's kind to me when i dont even deserve it. and it feels empty, hollow, grieving something he lost when its my fault i lost it in the first place.

i don't know why i did that. it must be because im stupid. stupid for hoping you would need me. stupid for ruining the one good thing i had and then mourning it. stupid for loving you when im not supposed to. the way im not supposed to.

stupid.

the will s3 pov counterpart