#these are all mikes feelings Only

[cannibalismyuri]

i didn't mean it like... that. i didnt mean it like anything. i didnt mean to. it seems like all i do lately is hurt people.

im hurting her, im hurting you, im hurting all of our friends. it isn't fair. i'm always the asshole. i try and try to be a better person, a good person.

but in the end im always the one with the sharpest cut to his words. in the end im always the one that makes you cry. in the end im always the one who has to say goodbye.

i grieve what i never should've lost and its worse because i know its my fault. you're always there when people want you to be, im never there when people need me, let alone want me.

but i guess nobody ever really needs me, do they? she doesn't, she's proved that. you probably dont either. i've spent my entire life being nice, being cool, being good enough to be unique. so that im not a one-off. so that i cant be replaced.

it seems like everything i do lately is detrimental to that. it feels like being nice and trying to be good just comes way more easily to everyone else. everyone has already reached the finish line and im still huffing and puffing my way along the track.

especially him. he's so kind and sweet to people that don't even deserve it. he's kind to me when i dont even deserve it. and it feels empty, hollow, grieving something he lost when its my fault i lost it in the first place.

i don't know why i did that. it must be because im stupid. stupid for hoping you would need me. stupid for ruining the one good thing i had and then mourning it. stupid for loving you when im not supposed to. the way im not supposed to.

stupid.

the will s3 pov counterpart

[mikesbasementbeets]

something about will downplaying the painting after mike's weird anti-hug behavior, when he had obviously brought it to the airport to give to mike

and then he hears the way mike calls something as innocuous as breakfast burritos "weird" and immediately looks down at the painting

and when el says she wants the day to be all about the two of them, and mike agrees

he crushes it

[nook-kid]

Making a longer post about this because it's sooo important❗️❗️

Your blog is for you, no one else. It's your safe space.

You need to vent? Do it. Get your feelings out in whatever words you need to use, curses and keysmashes included. If someone has a problem with it then they can leave. You don't owe anyone a cute aesthetic or soft words if it's not what you feel or need.

You want to change your blog theme, even though you just did? Who cares, make those icons and change those colors ! Make your blog unapologetically you, indulge in your interests no matter how often those change and shift.

You want to post about an interest that isn't made for kids/sfw? Do it ! ! If it brings you enjoyment/comfort while regressed, that's all that matters ! Reblog those gifs, write those fics, make those edits, project on those characters and don't be ashamed of doing so !

Your scared to post because your regression doesn't match the "ideal" agere aesthetic? Don't be, simply be you. Agere has a range of looks, and yours fits in perfectly, sewn into a quilt of love and expression in a spot that's so uniquely you.

You need to take a break from your blog for whatever reason? Do it, your health and needs come above all. The people who follow you won't mind, you may be missed but that just shows that you are loved, even by those who just like your posts.

You have requests you need to finish, but you don't have the energy? Take your time ! Don't feel pressured to complete something for someone outside of your avaliable time, they will understand and if they don't then block them, they aren't worth the love and time you put into making what you do.

Again, your blog is yours, use it how you need to fulfill your regression. You are loved and your creativity and passion for what you like should be both shared and treasured, I'm proud of you and hope you are doing well, remember to rest when needed, - Mikey

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[chirpsythismorning]

Fun fact: In the original pitch for Stranger Things, El had a little brother.

After being rejected by almost 20 studios for the Montauk pilot, the Duffers were finally green-lit by Netflix. It was at this time that they began casting and then writing the first season officially, which included reworking a lot of that first episode.

This led to the removal of the brother reference, and with it, removing any sort of arc El could have had about her apparent brother.

But the thing about this moment, is that it might not have been scrapped entirely...

Going into the final season, no one can explain why or how El recognized Will back in 1x02. And while there are plenty of things on the show that are left unexplained, with a small portion likely left that way with the intention to uncover it later, what sets this moment apart from the rest is that there are very few possibilities here.

Because for starters, the story presents El's ability to see people in the void in s1 as requiring either a picture of that person for reference, or having met that person before.

But when El see's this picture of Will, she's never met him before. Or maybe she has, but we wouldn't know because they never showed us. They could have just not done this scene at all, given that it's clearly a copy/paste/edit of something scrapped from the pitch. Or they could have even still included it, but explained it.

One explanation could be that the lab had shown El a picture of Will before, similar to what they did with the Russian agent they wanted to spy on. But then that begs to question, why would the lab show El a picture of Will? Why would they want to see what he was doing? That alone is incriminating in and of itself, implying that Will is more connected to the lab than we realize.

The only other, and frankly most likely explanation, would be that El stumbled across Will at some point on her journey between escaping the lab and Will going missing. This is actually something that happens in The Other Side comic, which explores all the things Will may have experienced during his time in the Upside Down.

Though it’s worth noting the comics aren’t technically canon, and I highly doubt they would outright spoil everything in relation to Will’s time there, years before it was intended to be revealed. But still, let's humor this for a moment given that I do think Will's time in the UD is going to be very relevant in s5, which means it's highly likely they will finally address how exactly El saw him.

Basically, in the comic, Will see’s El walking through the woods, almost apparition like, glowing as she passes by, while also sporting the Benny’s burgers shirt. This means they would have crossed passed within a short span of time, between when El escaped Benny’s when the agents arrived, but before she was found by the boys.

Though it’s worth noting that we’re seeing this all from Will’s perspective. This means from the UD, Will was capable of seeing El on the other side, despite them being on different sides. And not only that, but she also looks back at him.

What confuses me about this, is that it doesn’t make sense for El to be in the woods, only to randomly decide to pop in to the void for a moment. She was trying to escape the lab and everything that came with it. I doubt she had any desire to lurk back there for some reason, not until someone encouraged her to. Not to mention, it would make no sense for her to go there and see Will if she wasn't even looking for him in the first place. And so this would mean Will and El could see each other, with Will being in the UD, and El being on the other side.

While it does seem pretty far off, given that you would think Will and El wouldn't be able to see each other from different sides, it is true in the story that El not only recognizes Will, but knows that he is in danger. She mentions that he is hiding specifically.

Which means she has likely seen him within the last 24 hours regardless.

This, in combination with Will being able to respond to El in the void at the end of the season in Castle Byers, when no one else outside of Terry and flayed-Billy have been able to, seems to imply that there is indeed something special about Will that makes him capable of communicating with El from the UD. Not only that, but El also seems to have an ability to be in this constant knowing state of how Will is doing, without even checking again to confirm. She's just certain of it. And she seems terrified about it.

Going forward, El never uses a picture of Will to find him. She never did. And more often than not, they don’t show us what she see’s either, not until the very end. And that’s the moment they reveal that he was able to communicate with her.

Again, there was really no reason to have El recognize Will. If anything it complicates things. But the fact that they chose to introduce this concept, with a scene from the original pitch that was related to El’s younger brother, with her pointing at his name cryptically, startling Benny, only to revamp it and have El not say anything at all while pointing at the picture of Will, startling Mike… It just really makes you stop and think.

Which brings me to the other aspect of this that might have people doubting, which is that El’s brother was originally younger than her.

We know Will is not younger than El, so how could this apply to him?

Well, it might be helpful to consider that in the original script, El was actually 10 years old, while the boys were always 12. Meaning that for some reason, they decided to age her up to the age of the boys, aka the same age as Will…

Ever since @erikiara80 shared this brother discovery with me, I have been sort of reeling. It then led to other little discoveries of changes they made between Montauk and Stranger Things.

It’s important to understand that the Montauk bible and the original script precedes what we ended up with in the final product, with it finally changing and evolving months, maybe even a year since that original vision. Even casting occurred before writing started for the first season. We know this because casting announcements were made in June and August of 2015, with writing not starting until August going into early 2016, simultaneously while they were filming.

And believe it or not, what I've discovered is that a lot of the changes they made between their original plans and what we see in the final product, have to do with not only Willel, but also Byler.

If you've read the original script for Montauk, you'll know that Mike's crush on Jennifer Hayes was focused on right from the jump, along with the birthmark on his face being focused on, which was the main cause of the bullying he experienced.

This has actually been talked about recently, and some of the claims people make do fit with what I am genuinely starting to consider here, which is that the initial plan for what makes Mike an outcast shifted.

I think when they completed casting, and started actually deep diving into what they wanted this world to look like, both from a short-term and long-term standpoint, they were presented with some pretty interesting discoveries, arguably already hiding in their initial plans without realizing it.

And this is where it sort of becomes a 'chicken or the egg' situation. Because which one came first? Byler or Willel?

I can't say for certain, because obviously this is all just speculation. But in the case that Willel came first, I think Byler would come very naturally after that.

The Duffers themselves are twins. Then they hire Noah, who is a twin. Then they're thinking and planning for El's past and how her family all fits into this, and they're thinking... wait a damn minute... We could totally Star Wars this bitch!

And then when they think it couldn't get any better, they uncover another layer that they hadn't planned or really considered in their initial plans.

While Will was always going to have sexual identity issues according to the Montauk bible, meaning that the writing process for him likely involved sitting down imagining scenarios that encapsulated this arc for Will from the beginning, they were simultaneously now finding very interesting aspects of Mike's character that made it hard not to at least consider the possiblity that Mike is not exactly straight.

Just think about it. The Byers and Wheelers are basically polar opposites on the spectrum of what a family looks like. While Will's discovery and acceptance of his queerness is interesting to explore because he comes from a low-income, single-mom household, all while having been bullied for years based on his perceived queerness, he also has a mother and brother constantly reinforcing that they will accept him no matter what. They've been sort of hitting us over the head with it for years, and so it wouldn't be very satisfying for his entire arc to merely lead up to something we've known all along. It's pretty much a given at this point.

On the other side of the spectrum, Mike comes from a more upper-middle class family at the end of a cul-de-sac, more aligned with what a nuclear family looks like. Mike's family is also presented as being more conservative, and while Karen does give that very queer-coded speech to Mike in s1 (I'm convinced they only wrote this after deciding to explore queer-coding more heavily with Mike), it also comes with comments from Ted and even still Karen that hint that they are probably not as open-minded and accepting as Will's family is to him. Which means Mike's arc would be a lot more about acceptance around him from his loved ones who we have been led to believe might not be as accepting of his queerness in contrast to Will.

And so as they're putting this story together, and they're being presented with something very interesting. Two similar experiences that play out in different ways because of the characters circumstances.

Will goes missing, and his twin sister with a buzzcut pops up and has the ability to help them find Will.

This leads to several moments where El is being compared to as not only a boy, but Will as well.

Now suddenly, their initial plans to have Mike's arc be about having a girl be interested in him and to hopefully have his first kiss and feel like less of a loser, starts to look a lot like what the experience a queer kid in his position might encounter growing up in the environment that he did.

And if you don't want to take my word for it, just hear the Duffer's themselves hinting at what they initially planned for Mike and the fact that it changed.

The changes don't stop there.

Believe it or not, 'It was a seven', did not exist in the initial pitch. When the boys went outside bickering over Nancy, they leave right after that.

Another thing that changed from the first script, was Scott Clarke's introduction:

And so you might be thinking, who cares? What does that have to do with anything?

Well, it's interesting because the line we end up with on the show is arguably one of the most on the nose Twelvegate proofs to date. Mind you, this is from the first episode:

Why chuck the original version, which was arguably more interesting and fascinating in terms of it hinting at the mysteriousness surrounding this story, only to replace it with him listing off tips about their upcoming test?

Well, I think it's the irony of it all. Here Mr. Clarke is practically telling us where to look to figure stuff out for ourselves what is going on, with all the kids filing out and ignoring him...

I relate to Scott a litttle too much in this shot here, any time I try to drop Willel evidence.

And the changes go on, as they obviously would.

Things like Terry Ives not even being El's mom, but actually a man who more so aligns with the characterization of Murray.

And one very interesting one I almost overlooked was in Hopper's introduction, where instead of a kids drawing done by who we assume to be Sarah, we actually see a picture on the wall of him and his wife and daughter... Interesting that they decided to switch it something that is a lot less definitive in presenting what Hopper's past looked like...

If you've made it this far, congratulations.

If you still think I'm out of my mind, just remember that El was going to have a brother in the original script, but they scrapped the scene and gave a near identical one to introduce her connection to Will instead 😘

[blueeandyellowmakesgreen]

yall know i love my ronance content but a part of me is also really happy for nancy for finally having a platonic girl friend her age. i imagine ever since barb, shes had a lot of walls she had to put up, and maybe robin practically tearing it down and letting herself in is just what she needed and wanted, so nancy just.. let her. idk im looking forward to more of them in the next season. nancy deserves that

[wakeupthemembersofbylernation]

The idea of Mike “gently rejecting” Will in S5 is such a silly concept to me. It truly would make zero sense from a narrative perspective or from a character arc perspective. That’s why many Mlvn diehards don’t even really believe it will happen. They believe the show will move on without ever really addressing the Mike-shaped elephant in the room. They believe Will’s happy ending will simply consist of his friends and family accepting him and giving him a hug, and that’s it. And maybe he’ll get an unnamed bf in the finale. (That is, unless the show makes Will a secret villain and kills him off. Then at least he’d be interesting).

Some even take Will’s words at facevalue, believing that El truly commissioned the painting or at least that the intense romantic feelings Will described really belong to her. Now that Mike has confessed his love, they believe that S5 will finally consist of happy Mlvn couple moments, so there won’t be any time for Mike and Will to be together even as friends to talk about any lingering feelings. And why would there be time, since it’s the apocalypse after all, and Will is just a plot device and isn’t really relevant to anything? The Duffers must be exaggerating his importance to S5. The Core 4 is Mike, El, Lucas, and Dustin. Will’s romantic desires are meaningless.

They have to believe all this, cause if they don’t, and they still want to believe in Mlvn endgame, they have to conclude that Will’s emotional desires will be central to the plot of S5, Will’s feelings are the glue that put Mlvn back together, the painting will come up again because El didn’t actually commission it, Mike and Will will be close enough in S5 to have meaningful heart-to-hearts, AND Mike is 100% straight and will…. gently reject Will and promise to always be good pals; he just sadly doesn’t swing that way?

Silliness, objectively.

Anyway, Byler endgame.

[chayannesegg]

im so glad empanada, even after a tough day, got to have that talk and hug with richas and then bagi where em got some lovely advice about dealing with grief from richas & talked about what went wrong during the day

but i can't help but contrast this with sunny. sunny who empanada still hasn't seen. sunny whose been alone for days. sunny whose talked with almost no one. sunny who doesn't know bad is dead. sunny whose pretending tubbo isn't dead. sunny who got no goodbye. sunny who got no long talks about grief. sunny who got no explanations. sunny who no one visited today. sunny whose birthday is tomorrow. sunny who no one will wake up for first tomorrow

[starryluminary]

I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say “I don’t know”

[blackashbluephoenix]

I'm working on my season 5a/6 Marvey AU today and it took me an embarassing amount of time to realize that Rachel called her Dad first when Mike was arrested (before even telling Harvey) because her first impulse was to find a way to force Mike to turn on Harvey. The worst night of his life and she sics her angry father (who will now hate Mike forever) on him to manipulate him into betraying the one person he might love more than her.

She didn't just think about it for a second like she admits to Mike when they fight, it was her main goal from minute one. She only backs off when Mike freaks out when she vocalizes it. It's like she only realizes in that moment that he may actually leave her if she tries to push the issue.

I get that she resents how close Mike and Harvey are and she feels like Harvey put Mike in this position. But Mike's just as guilty as Harvey is, and she wouldn't have given Mike the time of day if Harvey hadn't brought him in. He's the only reason she has Mike at all, and her first impulse is to throw him under the bus regardless of what Mike wants.

It just makes Rachel's entire character feel icky. Like I know Gibbs tries to get her to make a deal to go against Harvey later in the season but the fact that it's literally her first impulse without Gibbs even making the offer is just... ick.

[quillandrapier]

So what was the point of Last Resort?

[thatcakelovingwitch]

Sir Reginald Cattenbottom III Esquire

[thranduel]

mike being all cute as he excitedly talks about 20 sided dice 🥰

[chirpsythismorning]

Just remembered that Will sat on the icebox in the van for the 30 hr ride back to Hawkins

[lumism]

so many of my friends are "will deserves better" truthers but me i'll always remain a “whatever makes my prince happy <3″ advocate & that is a promise

[flowercrowngods]

i need someone (steve) to take one look at mike wheeler after being told that this kid readily walked off the quarry at twelve years old, and see past his walls and his bullshit and see the kindness and bravery that lies beneath the trauma and depression (and puberty). i need someone to take one look at him and see that he’s not doing fine at all — and hasn’t for a while.