#aikuisten lelukauppa

[valos-venus-doom]

The Foreverlost -- Chapter 3

Linky to Wattpad Chapter List: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/334118555-the-foreverlost

Three Months Later, May 2018

Ville decided that morning he had spent long enough in the solitude of his home. HIM’s last show was performed New Years Eve and he’d hibernated since then. Two years prior, he’d moved out of his famous tower and into a more modern abode; a spacious, 3 story house that had formerly belonged to a photographer which meant it had tons of windows and plenty of natural light. And he admittedly hadn’t spent any time actually making it a home. The last box had been unpacked the previous day, and Ville had run out of things to do, so he felt it was time to make his presence known to his family again.

Ville planned to grab himself a coffee from the local Starbucks and head down to his father’s shop for a chat. The temperature outside was rather pleasant despite the heavy overcast overhead, he for a moment wondered if he should wait another day in case it rained but shrugged it off. He could always catch an Uber home.

And just as he finished his coffee and reached the block where his father’s shop was, the downpour began. Fuck… he thought, luckily he’d worn a hoodie so he could cover his head. He picked up the pace and reached his destination before getting too soaked. The bell above the door jingled and Ville wiped his wet feet on the mat as he entered, hearing an unfamiliar voice greet him,

“Hi, welcome. Let me know if I can help you find something.”

The sweet voice made him stop dead in his tracks, and he looked up to see a petite woman standing in his father’s usual spot behind the counter. She didn’t look up at him, instead she leaned against the counter looking through a catalog.

“Erm… is Kari around?” Ville asked, having not expected his father to not be here.

The woman behind the counter raised her eyes to meet him, and he couldn’t help but notice how bright and blue they were, “He’s currently out, is there anything I can help you with?”

Damn, I really picked the wrong day to stop being a hermit… Ville thought to himself. “Any idea when or if he’ll be back?” Ville asked her, looking to see if she had a name tag on, she didn’t.

“Yeah, he shouldn’t be too much longer actually. Feel free to stick around.” Kaiya almost went back to the catalog but paused a second, “You’re Ville, right?”

Ville nodded, “I am.”

Kaiya smiled, “I had a feeling. Nice to see you again.” Ville’s face dropped, he looked confused. Kaiya chuckled, “I’m so sorry, you don’t seem to recognize me, I’m Kaiya, I was Jesse’s friend from, like, forever ago.” she explained.

Ville furrowed his brow and thought for a moment and then he remembered her, but vaguely, “Oh right, right. Sorry about that. Now that you mention it, I’m starting to connect the dots.” Ville nodded, “So, you work here now?”

“Yup, I just moved back from Russia and needed a job, so here I am.” Kaiya confirmed, shrugging her shoulders.

Ville dug through the archive of his brain to further remember who she was, but he wasn’t really around much by the time Kaiya started hanging around. When Jesse was 5, Ville was 12 and running around with his future bandmates, getting into trouble and practicing music. His memory was definitely not helped by all the drinking and pot smoking he’d done in those formative years either. Ville moved out by the time Jesse turned 12 and that’s when his music career really took off, he regrettably didn’t spend much time with Jesse or his parents from that point on and Kaiya was just a faint blip on his radar. The quiet little girl that he’d long forgotten about had grown up, and into a very beautiful woman, he remarked in his head.

“Ah, I see.” Ville responded to her. The pair stood awkwardly for a moment before a loud crash of thunder made them both jump slightly. Ville looked outside and noticed the torrential downpour. There was no way he was going back out in that, not right then anyway. So he was stuck here, talking to Kaiya.

Kaiya was aware of who Ville was. His Heartagram logo was all over the store, Kari had photos of his boys in the back office, but Kaiya was never into his music. Truthfully, she probably wouldn’t recognize anything aside from Join Me In Death, a song you couldn’t escape if you wanted to in the early 2000s in Europe. But his “celebrity” status didn’t interest her, Ville was nothing aside from her best friend’s older brother who all but ignored her the entire time she was friends with the Valos.

“Where in Russia were you?” he questioned.

“Moscow.” she answered quickly, too quickly. It sounded rehearsed and Kaiya scrambled to recover, “Well, um, near Moscow.” she nodded.

“How are you enjoying working here?” Ville questioned, “It’s been a long time since I’ve worked here myself.”

“Oh it’s fine. You get the occasional awkward guy who stares for far too long, but they’re harmless.” she stared at him, a hint towards Ville’s intense stare, “I mean, I do have protection just in case they get out of hand.” she deadpanned and held up a gigantic 18 inch purple dildo from behind the counter before cracking a smile a second later.

Ville busted out in a chuckle, “Yeah, the things you find in here are bizarre. They’ve only gotten more bizarre as time has gone on, to be honest. Humans are quite the innovative creatures…”

Kaiya nodded, “Sex has gotten extremely high tech.”

A moment later the bell above the door rang out and Kari came in, shaking off his umbrella and wiping his shoes. “Good god it’s really coming down out there.” he remarked, “Oh, Ville, my boy, good to see you.” Kari greeted his eldest son with a hug. “I see you’ve met Kaiya, my employee of the month.” he joked.

Kaiya smiled, “Hey, I worked hard for that title! It was tough competition this month. Heidi nearly came out on top.”

Ville furrowed his brow, “Who?”

Kaiya laughed, “She’s over there.” and pointed to the lingerie mannequin in the front of the store. “Just because you’re tall and have the perfect body, Heidi, doesn’t mean you’re a better employee!” Kaiya shouted at the inanimate object, making Kari & Ville chuckle.

“Oh she brings life into this place.” Kari sighed happily, making Kaiya beam with pride.

Funny and beautiful… Ville thought to himself.

Kaiya was pulled away to assist a customer and Kari and Ville stood in the back office talking and catching up. The last they’d seen of each other was at HIM’s final show before Ville retreated into his old ways of extreme introversion. “So, she’s Jesse’s best friend?” Ville questioned. Kari nodded in response, “Are they more than that?” Ville pressed.

“No no,” Kari shook his head, “Jesse and Kaiya have both told me they have no interest in each other. Although, it would be cute.”

“She single?” Ville continued, not even trying to hide his interest. She fascinated him.

Kari stared at Ville for a moment, “Yes… but from the sounds of it she just got out of an extremely traumatic relationship. She hasn’t told me much, but I think that last guy was a real fucking asshole.” Kari furrowed his brow, “The poor thing is so jumpy and always looking over her shoulder... I don’t know what the last 20 years have looked like for her, but it doesn’t seem good.” he paused for a moment, “But I digress. It’s not up to me to tell you her business.”

Ville looked over at the security monitor in the corner of the room, Kaiya was unpacking a box that had just gotten delivered. “Guess I’ll just find out for myself.”

“You sure you want to do that?” Kari questioned, “Jesse will never forgive you if things go south with her when she just came back into his life. And if I’m being honest, neither will your mother and I.”

Ville looked at his father with a questioning look, “You act like she’s your daughter.”

“She might as well be.” Kari shrugged. “But I have a feeling she’ll be a tough nut to crack, she doesn’t seem interested in any man right now, so good luck with that…. Oh, and your mom wants to have a family dinner on Friday night, if you could grace us with your presence that would be terrific.”

A Few Days Later

Ville approached his parent’s front door, a bottle of wine in hand; hopefully a peace offering for his mother who would no doubt be irate with him for staying away for so long. He put his hand on the doorknob to find it locked. Peculiar, he thought, his parents almost never locked their doors when they were home. He knocked gently, a confused expression on his face.

“I got it!” he heard a youthful female voice call out. The door swung open revealing the stunning, bright-eyed brunette standing on the other side. “Hello.” She greeted breaking Ville of his daze.

“Oh, um, hi.” Ville stammered. He hadn’t expected her to be there.

“You… gonna come in?” Kaiya asked, holding the door open a bit wider.

“Erm, yeah.” Ville walked in past her, mentally kicking himself for being so awkward around her. Her looks and charms were having an effect on him that he usually didn’t have.

“It’s Ville. He brought wine.” Kaiya called out in a singsong voice to the rest of the house before walking back into the living room to join Kari and Jesse who were both watching boxing. Ville noted how comfortable Kaiya was in his parents’ home. She was answering their door and running about like she’d lived there her whole life and plopped down right in between his brother and father, neither of them acting as though it was out of the ordinary.

Ville entered the kitchen to find his mother cooking, he sat the wine down on the counter and hugged her. “You need any help?” he asked, knowing full well his mother would say no.

She side-eyed him playfully. “You’d just be in the way.” She smiled and tapped his cheek affectionately.

“So, does Kaiya live here now or..?” Ville questioned, lowering himself into a kitchen chair.

Anita shook her head, “No. She’d been staying with Jesse. It’s adorable, they still act like they’re 15.” she smiled nostalgically. “Making up for lost time I suppose.”

A little bit later, everyone was seated around the Valo’s dining room table casually chit-chatting. Ville chose not to speak but to listen to the conversation going around the table. He caught himself more than once staring at Kaiya, and eventually, she began catching him. Despite herself her eyebrows would furrow in response to a near perfect stranger staring at her. Ville blushed and took a large swig of his wine.

Stop being so fucking awkward, you twat… He mentally cursed himself. He felt like he was 13 years old again with a schoolyard crush; ridiculously awkward and too shy to talk to her. He began to also fear that there was more to her and Jesse’s relationship than just friendship. They were awfully talkative and giggly around one another, their banter was chock full of inside jokes that no one else around them understood, they even finished each others’ sentences. Maybe his father was wrong when he said that they were never anything more than friends? If his little brother had feelings for Kaiya that were even remotely beyond platonic she was forever off of the menu, he could never do that to Jesse.

As the family ate, Ville noticed that Kaiya was pushing her food around her plate, staring at it intently. Every forkful of food she took, she looked it over and smelled it before eating it. Every time she picked up her wine glass she looked inside of it before taking a sip.

It was bizarre behavior, and Kaiya seemed to know that because she appeared to be trying to be as discreet and inconspicuous as possible. Ville looked up to see if anyone else was looking at her. His parents didn’t seem to notice, but Jesse caught his eye. Jesse glared at Ville and slowly shook his head. Ville knew what his brother meant; “Stop staring at her, you’re being rude.”

Suddenly his mother broke the silence, “You all have no idea what this means to me. To have all of my children in one place again.” Anita gushed, smiling happily.

Kaiya bit her lip and blushed, flattered that after all this time that not only was she welcome in the family, but they still considered her a daughter. “Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, mama.” Kaiya replied.

“We need to do this more often!” Anitai exclaimed. “I want two Fridays a month to be ‘family dinner night,’ understood?”

“Yes ma’am.” Jesse and Kaiya answered in unison, catching Ville off guard.

“Uh, well, I guess I can’t say no at this point.” Ville muttered. Anita ignored her eldest son’s remark. “Now once my son wises up and marries Kaiya I can officially and legally call her my daughter.” She smiled toward Jesse and Kaiya. Ville looked inconspicuously towards the pair, this was going to be the sign he needed to see how they actually felt about one another.

Jesse and Kaiya turned to look at each other nervously, both of them blushing. Not a second later they both burst out laughing, Kaiya covered her face as she turned red.

“See, dear? I told you.” Kari muttered to his wife before taking a sip of wine.

Jesse wiped a tear of laughter from his eye and stifled his giggles, “That’s not going to happen Ma. It would be too weird. I love Kaiya, but not like that. I don’t really want to see you naked, Kai. No offense.” He added and glanced at Kaiya.

“None taken, the feeling is more than mutual.” Kaiya replied wide-eyed, the crimson color leaving her face. “It would feel wrong.” “SO wrong…” Jesse shuddered. “I mean, it’s not like the thought never crossed our minds.” Jesse shrugged.

Kaiya nodded in agreement after taking a bite of her food. “We were each other’s first kiss when we were 13. We just thought we’d try it out, see if there was any ‘spark,’ ya know?”

“And?” Ville asked, sounding a bit more interested than he would have liked.

“There wasn’t.” Kaiya and Jesse answered once again in unison. Ville found how in-sync they were to be bizarre. Endearing, for sure, but bizarre nonetheless. They were like twins.

“We both agreed that we didn’t want to ruin our friendship by forcing something that just wasn’t there.” Jesse affirmed, Kaiya nodding in confirmation as she chewed.

Ville had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning. That was precisely what he wanted to hear. Now that he knew that his brother had no interest in Kaiya she was fair game. But he did want to get permission from Jesse first. His brother’s opinion meant a lot to him.

At the end of the night, Kaiya was helping Anita and Kari clean up from dinner, while Ville and Jesse stood outside taking in the air. Ville no longer smoked, but Jesse still did. “You planning on quitting?” Ville asked, drinking a cup of coffee his mother had made him.

Jesse nodded, “Yeah, mom is pissed off that I started up again. Just after my breakup with Hanna…” he trailed off, letting his tone speak for itself. It was a terrible relationship and an even worse breakup.

Ville nodded understandingly, “I get it.” he paused and took a deep breath before asking the questions he was dying to ask. “So… Kaiya.”

“Yeah?” Jesse eyed him suspiciously.

“What’s her deal with the food?” Ville asked, trying to not sound insensitive.

Jesse had to make sure he didn’t reveal too much information and he hadn’t really thought about an excuse for her quirks. “I really don’t know. It’s a thing from her childhood, her parents weren’t that great at feeding her.” he lied, knowing his explanation left a lot unanswered. “Trauma response, I guess.” he shrugged, hoping that would be a good enough answer for Ville.

However, Jesse knew full-well why Kaiya did that. He caught on the first night she came back, she inspected her plate, cup and every piece of cutlery before using it. Food she would pick apart and make sure it was edible before each bite. Kaiya explained that in prison, she never knew what was in the food. Finding insects and mouse droppings was not rare, mold was common, and if a guard was feeling particularly cruel, they’d tamper with the food in a number of repulsive ways. It was now a deeply ingrained habit for Kaiya and having only been on the outside for a few months, it seemed old habits were hard to kill.

Ville didn’t push. His question wasn’t fully answered but it was enough. “That’s unfortunate.”

“Go ahead.” Jesse blurted out, without looking towards his brother.

“What?” Ville questioned.

“Go ahead and ask what I know you’re going to ask.” Jesse rolled his eyes. When Ville didn’t say anything he continued, “You want to ask Kaiya out.”

“Would she be interested?” Ville asked.

Jesse laughed, “No. I’m being honest with you, no. She’s going to tell you no.”

“Oh.” Ville sighed.

“But…” Jesse began again, “I’m going to encourage you to ask her regardless.” “Do I look like a glutton for punishment?” Ville furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Jesse suspiciously.

“Yeah, but that’s not why. I deeply care about Kaiya and I need her to heal from this fucked up breakup that she just went through.”

“Yeah, Dad mentioned he was a blowhard asshole.” Ville replied.

“No, he–” Jesse was about to say too much and stopped himself. He knew that Kaiya’s late boyfriend was not an asshole, nor was he abusive, but the story that he and Kaiya had to maintain was that they had a terrible breakup, so he had to recover, “It was complicated, but yeah, Kaiya has been through a lot. A lot of trauma, a lot of pain, she needs to be treated well…” he trailed off. “And I know you, you’d treat her well. I trust you, you’re the only guy who I feel comfortable with her being with. Mostly because I know where you live, and mother fucker I would end you.” Jesse threatened.

Ville was confused, “So… you know she’ll reject me, but you want me to ask her regardless… Color me confused because none of that makes sense.”

Jesse smiled, “Ask her out. She’ll immediately say no, she’ll come home and tell me that my creepy brother–”

“Creepy brother?!” Ville exclaimed, tone ripe with offense, “Excuse me?”

Jesse laughed and continued, “She’ll tell me that my creepy brother asked her out, and I’m going to make her accept. Trust the process, bud. I got you.”

[lovelessthan]

I arrived late in Helsinki on the 5th of January. During the last leg of my 11 hour bus ride I remembered that January 6th is a public holiday in many countries; it is not in Portugal, while it is for our neighbors Spain, so it really varies from place to place and is never a date that's at the forefront of my mind. Nevertheless, my flight back home was on the 7th so I decided to check and sure enough, the 6th is a public holiday in Finland. Since my number one mission during my last days in Helsinki was to visit Aikuisten Lelukauppa, Kari Valo's famous shop, I DM'd their instagram account asking whether it would be open the next day.

Thus began the saga that leads us to the concluding chapter of our story, The Finland Chronicles Part 3: Aikuisten Lelukauppa Oy, and Finland Moi Moi

I got a response from the person who runs the shop’s instagram account the next morning, while I was getting ready, saying that they weren’t sure whether Kari would be coming in. I decided to risk it anyway and headed over there, only to find that, alas, the shop was indeed closed.

Feeling a bit deflated, I decided to just walk into the restaurant next door and the events that unfolded upon me stepping inside were heartwarming. The place was a very small and simple Thai restaurant, run by just one man, who I at the time assumed was Finnish. I made casual conversation with him and informed him of what had just happened, to which he replied that he had seen Kari lock up not long ago and head to the cafe down the road…so I had just missed him! I proceeded to order food, since I hadn’t really had breakfast, and he made me a dish of fried salmon, rice, and pickled vegetables. It was delicious, and I'm pretty sure the blurry corner in the picture above is from my lens fogging up with how hot it was.

After bringing me the food, this sweet man proceeded to turn the entire restaurant upside down looking for Kari's phone number, which he had written down on a slip of paper; he did in fact have a smartphone but informed me he didn't have time to be saving people's numbers in it, dontcha know. 😂 He said there was a possibility Kari could come back but it wasn't looking likely. Eventually, a girl who worked at the café next door came over, since she helps write the signs and menus for the restaurant due to her impeccable calligraphy, and gave him the number. He dialed it, hit call and a few seconds later we heard a voice identical to Ville’s say (I assume), "Kari Valo speaking." The restaurant owner explained that someone had come *all* the way from Portugal just to see him and handed me the phone. So I got to talk to Kari a bit. He told me he'd locked up for the day and asked me why I hadn't come earlier, and when I said I was considering extending my trip a bit he responded, "I'll be waiting for you every day." Ville wasn't kidding when he said he got his verbal acrobatics from his dad, huh. Sidenote: I thought I'd headed out pretty early, all things considered, but now you know, the early bird gets the Kari, especially if it’s a public holiday.

Heartened, I hung up and got on my own phone to make the arrangements to extend my trip, intending to return to the shop without fail on Monday the 8th. A part of me felt a little silly, but that was overridden by the feeling that my time in Finland wouldn’t really have been complete without a visit to Aikuisten Lelukauppa. Luckily, it was pretty cheap and dealing with that left me with time to relax, enjoy the rest of my meal, and talk to the man who had gone out of his way to make sure I got to speak to Kari. It turned out his name was Pedro, he was originally from Spain but had been living in Finland for 45 years, and had learned to cook Thai food from his second wife. Upon finding out he was from Spain, the conversation promptly switched from English to Portuñol, and he told me all about his family over Thai coffee after I'd finished my meal. I left the place after some time, feeling warm and fuzzy at the fact that complete strangers had gone above and beyond for me, but not before laughing at the fact that as quickly as Pedro had reobtained Kari's number, he then proceeded to lose it for a second time and was once again turning the place upside down looking for it as I headed out the door.

In all seriousness, if you're planning on including Aikuisten Lelukauppa in your Helsinki itinerary, consider stopping by Pedro's place as well. It's literally right next door, so it's impossible to miss, the food is great, and the hospitality, well...if you've read this far then you've probably figured out it's second to none.

Afterwards I took the time to explore the city a little more and went to see Helsinki Cathedral and check out the other sights around Senate Square. Extending my trip also allowed me shop more leisurely for family and friends before heading home for the evening.

Sunday was a day dedicated to doing absolutely nothing, which I felt I had earned, and fun fact: my Airbnb hosts were the proud owners of eleven (11!) cats, including the four kittens pictured above. All this while having a spotless home with almost exclusively white furniture. Why would you want to leave the house? I only realized long after the fact that I could have used my Sunday to take the ferry from Finland to Estonia and spend the day in Tallinn's old town, but I think the fact that it didn't even cross my mind just shows it wasn't meant to be. You can't fit everything in on one trip and you have to stop to rest at some point. All in all, a Sunday well spent.

Then the fateful day arrived! I got up, got ready, headed out the door, and took the bus to the stop nearest to the street where Aikuisten Lelukauppa is located. In the few minutes left where I was walking up to the shop, my heart started pounding and I was pretty sure I was gonna act completely starstruck but...it was fine. More than fine. There was only one other customer there when I walked in, and they left almost the minute I entered. I said hello and told Kari that I was the person he'd spoken to on the phone the other day, and he apologetically explained that he'd had responsibilities other than the shop to attend to that day which resulted in him leaving early. What followed was me getting almost 2 hours of his time just chatting, as it had been over a week since Helldone and there weren't many fans flocking to the shop. He truly is a gem of a person, he seemed more than happy (and I hope he truly was!) to discuss his interest in cars, the movie Taxi Driver, how he acquired a lot of the memorabilia around the shop, how he got involved in this particular line of work, the state of taxi drivers these days (NOT good, he’ll have you know!), some of the shows he'd seen on the Neon Noir tour, and asked me about myself as well. Thanks to Kari I learned about Aki Kaurismäki, a Finnish director who has lived in Portugal for over 30 years, and now have some new films on my to-watch list. He also provided me with some tips for things to do around the city, including enthusiastically telling me I should go swimming (eherm, maybe next time) and to visit Temppeliaukion kirkko, a Lutheran church that was excavated directly from solid rock.

I would be remiss not to point out a significant moment in my visit. Kari received quite a few phone calls while we were chatting, and most of the time the phone ringing would prompt him to cry out, "Perkele!" One of the calls, however, he simply answered without any fuss. I could hear a man's voice but since the conversation was in Finnish, I distracted myself with my phone. Once he'd hung up, Kari turned to me and asked, "Do you know who that was?" to which I replied, "Who?" and he exclaimed, "Ville!" then burst out laughing and grabbed my shoulders as my jaw dropped. Then he told me that Ville had called to ask a question about Kari's car (the famous Checker Taxi, I believe) and implied it was being used for some sort of project? We shall have to wait and see. It was a very cool moment anyhow. I got a photo with him as well and asked him to sign my Neon Noir CD booklet, which he decorated with his famous doodles and catchphrases, most notably "Kari Valo, Boy's Father."

A visit to Aikuisten Lelukauppa naturally demands that you buy some merch so I bought a new tshirt for myself with the alternative design (as a friend had gotten me the more well-known version during her visit a few months prior), merch for friends, and stickers, but also left armed with several Finland/Helsinki guides that Kari provided me with, and a map where he wrote down the name of the rock church. Cutest of all, he just up and gave me some vintage Moomins stamps, which I will cherish forever. After all this, I said I’d be heading out as I did not want to take up any more of Kari’s time but it was a highly memorable first visit, and while I seriously doubt he will ever come across this post I nevertheless feel like I have to express my gratitude to him for his time, his ear, and his generosity. Kiitos paljon Kari! ❤️

.

This was the rest of my afternoon: a visit to the famous Cafe Regatta, which was very cozy, following Kari's advice and visiting the beautiful, peaceful Temppeliaukio Church, and finishing my visit off with an early dinner at a traditional Finnish restaurant, where I had the piniest tasting G and T of my life (I love the smell of pines, not so sure how I feel about drinking them). Couldn't have asked for a better last day in Finland.

The next morning I had to be up at 5 to catch a flight to Frankfurt and then Lisbon, but the discomfort of a super early flight paled in comparison to the happy, floaty feeling of discovering a new place to love and come back to. Thank you so much Finland, you were a dream! I hope to come back sooner rather than later and potentially write another Finland Chronicles, maybe in warmer temperatures! Moi moi for now, though!

And to finish this off, here's a little Aikuisten Lelukauppa haul with all the things I mentioned above, as well as a small Helsinki/Helldone haul, since I didn't think to do one for the very first instalment of this series. It includes a VVgram beanie, an eyebrow pencil and two eyeliners from Finnish brand Lumene (conspicuously absent was their Nordic Noir range, I wonder if Ville bought it all up lmao), and face wipes. Yes, face wipes, because they saved me multiple times when the snow settling then melting on my eyelashes would cause my mascara to melt and smudge all around my eyes. Pro-tip ladies: have some wipes in your bag when experiencing Finnish winter, or just snowy winters in general. Or maybe just wear a more resistant mascara than the one I use.

Thanks to anyone who read through these posts, and apologies for how much longer they got with each update. Nevertheless, I hope it was an enjoyable read and maybe even useful to those of you considering visiting Finland. Much love and here's to hoping 2024 brings many more adventures! 💙🤍

[blue-sun-king]

Aikuisten Lelukauppa

[willahwalo]

Everyone who has gotten a package from Kari already knows this is to be expected but I always love how much time Ville’s dad puts into these little postcards. Wish I had me a dad like this ☺️

[missmephisto]

I met my father-in-law today, Mr. Kari Valo 😭😭can you tell how happy I was by the pure joy on my face?🥰🖤 (at Aikuisten Lelukauppa) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuJi1VdAvVX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=v1jqoenk59ia

[elenahowl]

Earth Mars Ceres Jupiter Neptune Eris Comet

earth - where is your favorite place to be?Aikuisten Lelukauppa, the shop my friend Kari owns and runs on Viides Linja in Helsinki, Finland. 

mars - 3 pet peeves?- People who ask dumb questions.- People who sit/stand way too close.- People who are super obsessed with famous people to the point of having no identity outside of fandom.   

ceres - what’s something you’ve never told anyone?I had to think about this one a long time, but here’s a story nobody knows. Strap in because this is long.  _____I was on the Helsinki metro after a day of errands and the metro was super crowded because everyone was out preparing for Juhannus.  I grabbed a seat where I could across from this one weird guy.  He had feathers woven into his tangled hair and his clothes were quite wrinkled, and he sat hunched over, almost crouching against his seat, like he was about to spring up and run at any moment.  I didn’t take too much notice of him for a couple of stops until he pulled out a bottle of pills, popped at least eight of them in his mouth, and washed them down with half a can of beer.  Naturally, this alarmed me.  I have no idea what he took, but I looked over at him and was like “Hey, are you okay?”  When I asked, he must have realized what he looked like, and that taking that many pills with alcohol looked like suicide to a normal person. He couldn’t pass this off as taking a hangover cure.  “Don’t worry,” he said.  “It’s nothing bad.  I just have to see some more things.” I let that be with no intention of continuing the conversation with the strange, wrinkled, feathered druggie on the metro, but he wanted to keep talking, which is pretty strange for the average Finnish person.  He pointed at my shirt and asked about the design on it being Dante’s Inferno.  I said I don’t know much about the image, seeing as my friend gave the shirt to me because I like the band (I was wearing this HIM shirt, one Kari had in the shop).  He just kind of nodded and said “Once you have seen things like that, you can’t unsee them.  But sometimes you want to see them again, you know?” Okay, creepy druggie.  Whatever.  I sort of nodded and looked at my phone as he kept talking about the things he’d seen, how enlightened he could be now, and how horrific images were beautiful under the right dose of pills.  My stop was before his, so I got up to go.  He said to me “Take care, Leena.  Keep your eyes open for the devils.  You’ll see so much more.”  Leena is a Finnish name pretty close to my actual name.  I didn’t tell him my name at any point in this, I didn’t whip out any ID, and nothing on my clothes had a name on it.  I had never met this guy before in my life and I have no idea how he could even take a stab at guessing the name of a foreign girl on the metro (especially since, while not uncommon, neither Elena or Leena are super popular names in their respective countries of origin).  So yeah, that was a kind of creepy day.  

jupiter - what’s your biggest dream?I want to tell stories.  I don’t know what medium, but I want to create stories for a living. (Comics, art, writing.. Who knows?)

neptune - pick one: oceans, plains, or mountainsMountains.

eris - favorite book/book series?The Modern Faerie Tales series by Holly Black

comet - what is something you love about yourself?My empathy.  It occasionally bites me in the ass and I get taken advantage for it, but empathizing and trying to understand others has opened many doors for me in life.  

[saintscreamworks]

The day I finally met Kari Valo at his sex store Aikuisten Lelukauppa on June 30 2017. This is one of the best days of my Life, I am so happy I finally got to meet Kari Valo, he is a sweet man and definitely friendly. I may not know the Valo's personally but I do see where Ville and Jesse get their charm and laugh from. I got to have a nice convo with Kari and I took two photos with him, purchased 3 shirts and got to hug him as well right before I left his store, It was awesome. I asked him if he would be at Tuska festival and he said yes. He also told me that Tuska means Pain in English. He told me I was the 3rd customer that day to come in that is from New York. I also spoke to him about how long I've been a HIM fan and how many times I've seen them. He told me he opened his store in 1992, I told him that was the year I was born, at one point he stood up on the Heartagram stool to pick the shirts I wanted in my size and I said "You make me nervous when you get up there." He laughed and began to Dance on the stool, I laughed too but also feared that he would fall. As I left the store, he told me to come back which I certainly will do before I leave Finland. Jesse and Kari are literally twins, it's amazing. Tomorrow I am going to the Tuska Festival to see HIM and I need to get sleep right now for tomorrow !

[madglittermad]

Háblame de felicidad.... 😍 Gracias PAPÁ VALO por tanto! tengo el alma llena... Gracias por absolutamente todo!!! 💜💜💜💜💜 #karivalo #papavalo #villevalo #helsinki #finland🇫🇮 #happiness (en Aikuisten Lelukauppa)

[inandoutoffashion]

Got a lovely little postcard with my order 💌 Kiitos Aikuisten lelukauppa!!

[villevaloismyfetish]

xD it’s sexy for me.

[mrs-depp]

Feeling very 'support your Finnish sex shops from Wales' today.

[the-nightside-of-eden-blog]

(x)

[valos-venus-doom]

Veiled in Sweet Pandemonium - Chapter 7

July 12th 2010

Ville awoke the next morning with Alayna's naked body snuggled against him. He was on cloud nine with her next to him, but just as he recalled the glorious events from the previous night he remembered the shitty moments where he felt threatened by Luka. But instead of getting upset, he shook it off. Alayna showed him last night that she wanted him and that was all that mattered.

Alayna stirred in his arms and turned to look at him, "Hey." she said with a sleepy smile.

Ville kissed her forehead, "Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling?"

Alayna sat up in the bed and yawned; "Um, I'm not sure that I'll be able to walk." she giggled.

Ville smiled up at her, "That good, huh?"

Alayna smirked at him and moved to straddle his hips, "Mhm." she mumbled as she kissed his lips.

Ville wrapped his arms around her warm body, "I'm glad I could be of service to you." he paused, "Honestly, it was probably the best I've ever had. After all, it nearly kill me." he winked.

Alayna laid on top of her lover and the two held each other in silence for a while. They didn't need to talk, their bodies communicated enough when they touched. Ville let his hands stroke her back lightly to relax her. 

"Babe?" Alayna whispered.

"Hm?" 

"I've been thinking..." she began as she sat up. "I think I'm going to start looking for a job."

Ville looked at her strangely. "Why?"

"Because my writing isn't taking off the way I'd like it too and I don't want to feel like... I dunno..."

"Like a burden?"

Alayna looked him in the eyes, "Yeah, kinda."

Ville sat up and took her hands. "Darling you've never been nor will you ever be a burden to me. I make plenty to support us both and then some."

"Ville, I appreciate that, but that's not me. I can't just sit around all day. I have a need to be productive and I need to set goals for myself. That's just my personality."

Ville thought for a moment, "You know that'll take away from time with each other, right?" he said lowly.

Alayna smiled and pecked his lips. "I'll just do part time. I'll work in the morning, check in on dad and come straight home to you in the evening."

"And the language barrier?" Ville pointed out.

Alayna stopped. She hadn't thought about that. It had just occurred to her a few days ago that she should probably start trying to look for work elsewhere. "I'm sure there's something out there I can find."

July 25th 2010

Alayna had no luck with the job search. Sepo had been trying to assist her but there weren't many jobs that catered to her inability to speak Finnish. Ville was trying as well, he had the guys ask their wives if they knew of anything. Natali, Gas' wife, was a photographer and offered to hire Alayna to babysit their daughter, Lara, while she did shoots. Alayna thought that would be a good idea. She didn't need to know Finnish to watch a baby. The only problem was Natali was just getting back into work after having Lara so she didn't have anything lined up just yet.

That particular day, Ville had to take care of somethings with the band. There was new merchandise coming out in a few weeks for the upcoming tour and everyone had to meet up to approve everything. Alayna was going to spend the day cleaning house. She didn't really want to stare at a blank laptop any longer, all it did was drag her down.

As Ville got ready to head out the door he turned to Alayna and planted a kiss on her lips. "I'll see you later, alright?" he whispered in her ear. "Oh, and you're meeting my parents tonight. Bye." Ville spoke quickly, he was trying to get out the door before she could protest.

"What? Ville!" she objected. "How could you just spring that on me like this?" Alayna followed Ville out onto the porch. 

"I'm sorry, Alayna. My mom asked if I was seeing anyone about a week  or two ago, then when I said yes she demanded we came over. I actually forgot until this morning. So... surprise?"

Alayna glared at him. "What time?"

Ville smiled sheepishly. "Seven. Please don't be angry with me."

Alayna rolled her eyes and sighed, "You owe me. Like, big time. I hate surprises and you know so."

Ville dug in his pocket for a moment and pulled out his credit card. "Here. Go out and do whatever you want. Buy a new dress, get your hair and nails done, go crazy."

Alayna looked at him blankly; "Ville, I can't accept that."

"Yes, yes you can. I hate spending my money but I could care less if you do." Ville said, but looking at Alayna she still looked a bit uncomfortable. He sighed, "Look, I know you hate things being sprung out on you like that. Please make me feel better about that by letting me spoil you. Please?" he held the card out to her again. Alayna gingerly took the card from his hand. "Thatta girl. Okay, I'll see you later. Have fun." Ville pecked her on the lips and started down the driveway. 

Alayna get herself together and caught a cab into town. Even though Ville said "go crazy" she wasn't going to max out his credit card. She wasn't a gold digger and didn't want to give anyone reason to believe that she was. Her first stop was to get her hair done. It was quite overdue. She had split ends and her highlights were fading. She crossed her fingers, praying to the English Gods that there would be someone there who understood her. She didn't want to ask for a trim and color and come out without hair. Ville loved her long locks and she didn't want to chop it off. Even though the mental image of Ville's reaction to seeing her with a pixie cut made her chuckle outloud.

Thankfully, there was a woman in the salon who spoke fluent English and was able to give Alayna exactly what she wanted. She had her auburn highlights replaced with blonde and she took about an inch off the ends to get rid of the damaged ends.

The salon happened to be only a block away from the little clothing boutique she fancied. Ville did tell her to buy a new dress, but she debated on whether or not a dress was too fancy for meeting her boyfriend's parents. Entering the shop, she said hello to the same small, older woman who was always there. Alayna had gone back more than a few times to buy some new pieces while her wardrobe was being shipped to Helsinki from Paris. She liked the chic clothes and the friendly service. It was also a small business and Alayna felt better shopping there than going to some high end outlet that already brought in thousands daily.

"Hello, dear!" the woman at the shop greeted. "Back again so soon? What's the occasion?"

Alayna smiled, "I'm meeting my boyfriends family and I wasn't prepared. He asked me to buy a dress but I'm wondering if that's too... formal. I don't know."

"Oh, the parents? My husband's mother hated me for years. I tried not to be that way with my boys." the shop woman mused. "But now that I have dear sons I find myself being critical of the women they bring home. I try to be fair but sometimes... well, you can't help who they bring home."

Alayna smiled. She was definitely nervous about tonight. She had no idea what to expect, she didn't know if they'd already seen her in the tabloid magazines. The woman helped her choose a skirt and top that would look nice together. Not too formal, but it made an impression. 

"Good luck tonight, dear. I'm sure they'll love you." the woman told Alayna as she left with her purchases. 

She really did like going to that shop. Not only was there friendly service but the owner reminded her of her mother.

Just before six o'clock that evening Ville returned home to find Alayna napping on the couch. 

Glancing at the time he decided to wake her. He knew it usually took her a while to get ready. "Babe? Baby.." he shook her lightly. "It's almost six." Alayna opened her eyes immediately and jumped off the couch and grabbed the bag that contained her newest outfit.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck." she mumbled as she walked up the stairs.

Ville, concerned, followed behind her. "If we're a little late it'll be ok--..."

Alayna cut him off; "No, no it won't. Lateness screams lack of caring. I hate being late and if you're not early you're late. And we won't be early which means we'll be late and if we're late then I automatically look like an idiot and an apathetic woman! Je foutu déteste être en retard!" she stopped to catch her breath.

Ville looked at her like she had three heads. He approached her slowly as if she were a wild animal; "Alayna, please calm down. It's my family. They're extremely laid back, I'm sure if we arrive early, or even on time, they'll find it weirder than if we were late." He touched her face. "But I think it's cute how much you care." and pecked her forehead.

When Ville and Alayna arrived at his parents' home, Alayna was shaking with anxiety. She hadn't been that nervous since she interviewed for Elle.

"Ville?" she whispered after exiting the cab.

"Yeah?"

"Do they speak English?" she asked.

Ville smiled. "It's your lucky day. My parents and my brother all speak English well."

His response quelled a lot of her anxiety. She was terrified that the language barrier would create awkward silences. Ville didn't knock, he just waltzed right on into the house.

"Mama? Papa?" he called.

A older gentleman, presumably his father, appeared around a corner, "Moi, Ville!" the man gave Ville a strong hug. "Anita! Your son is here. You know, the son you're always saying never comes around? He's here now." Ville blushed and chuckled. "Really, Ville, when you stay away for so long I am the one that suffers. Stop making your poor, old father suffer." his father whispered. 

Ville took a deep breath, "Dad, this is Alayna. Alayna, this is my dad, Kari."

"Hello, beautiful. It's a pleasure to meet you." Kari took Alayna's hand in his and kissed the top of it. "Ville, is this one going to be our future daughter-in-law? Because as I said before, the longer you remain unmarried, the longer I suffer. Please for the love of God make it stop."

Ville, embarassed, put his head in his hands. "Oh God, Dad. Why?"

Alayna started laughing and turning beet red. "Mr. Valo, Ville didn't tell me you were so funny."

"Mister Valo?" Kari looked honestly surprised. "Wow, that's a first."

Alayna worried that she may have offended Kari, "I'm sorry?"

"No no, don't be sorry. You're just the first lady he's brought to us and has been this polite."

Alayna looked up the hall to see a woman coming around. Alayna recognized her, and judging by the look on the woman's face, she had recognized Alayna.

"Moi, Mama." Ville approached her and gave her a hug and a kiss. The woman didn't return the favor, she just looked at Alayna. Ville and Kari noticed and shot a glance at each other. "So.... do you know each other?" Ville questioned.

"This lovely young lady has come into the shop quite a few times." Anita smiled. "Hello, dear. How are you?"

Alayna was still rather shocked, "I'm fine, Mrs. Valo. Oh my, I had no idea!" she approached the woman and gave her a hug that Anita returned. "I should have known as well! You two have the same eyes." Alayna remarked.

Anita laughed; "When you told me you were buying an outfit for meeting your boyfriend's parents it didn't even click that I was meeting my son's girlfriend for the first time tonight. What a fortunate stroke of serendipity this is." she paused a moment and turned to her husband "Kari, dear, did she call me Mrs. Valo?"

"She did, dearest. Ville's finally brought us home a keeper."

Ville, once again, put his head in his hands. While he was pleased that his parents approved of Alayna within five minutes of meeting her they've been embarrassing him from the moment he walked into the house. "Kill me. Please." he mumbled under his breath.

"Alayna, please just call us Anita and Kari. We appreciate your manners, we truly do. That's how we raised our boy." Anita told her. "Well, dinner will be ready shortly. Kari, please get the wine."

Anita had made simple spaghetti for dinner. She didn't want to make something too foreign or extravagant as she didn't know Alayna's taste yet. Ville had told her that his new girlfriend had moved here from France so Anita was expecting a French girl. Instead she had a British sounding Finnish girl from France and she wasn't sure exactly what to make of it.

They asked her the same questions everyone seemed to ask. She explained where she went to school, what she got her degree in and where she had worked. Once she was finished, Anita and Kari looked at each other, obviously impressed.

Ville's father turned to face him. "Ville, dear boy, please for the love of all that is holy marry this woman. Because if you won't I'll never forgive you. I'll never forgive you for giving up such a fantastic woman and I'll never forgive you for continuing to allow your mother to make my life hell all because you won't put a ring on it."

Alayna choked on her wine. Her boyfriend's older father literally just quoted Beyonce. Ville turned as red as the wine she'd been drinking. "Dad.... why? Please stop doing this to me." Ville pleaded.

His mother remarked, "Oh it's true. I've been waiting for you to get married and I take it out on him."

"Mom, at this rate I think Alayna is going to run screaming back to Paris. Or maybe I will."

Alayna patted her boyfriend on the back, "It's alright, sweetie. I'm loving this." she smiled.

"And don't even mention the word 'grandchildren' around her. Heaven help you. Alayna, is fertility strong within the women in your family?"

Alayna almost spat wine across the table and Ville just shook his head. "Alayna, if you feel the need to run I will not judge you." he said with a pained expression on his face.

The night ended with the couples parting as if they were old friends. Kari and Anita had made her feel like family within a few hours and Alayna felt really good about it. Just before Alayna followed Ville out of the door to get in the cab, Kari stopped her and handed her a brown paper bag. 

"Do not open this until you get home, alright?" he whispered.

Alayna agreed and gave him one last hug before following after Ville.

Ville sat in the back of the cab with his head on Alayna's shoulder. "I'm sorry if they made you feel uncomfortable. I should have told you they can be a bit... much." he apologized.

Alayna lifted his chin so his eyes met hers. "Ville, I love them. They're amazing and now I can see where you go it all from." she kissed his lips lovingly.

Ville looked down and noticed the bag. "What's that?" he asked.

"Uh, to be honest, I don't know. All he said was to not open it until we get back home."

The pair went straight into the bedroom when they arrived home. 

"Alright, let's see what's in the bag. Maybe my father wanted to send us home with a doggy bag of humiliation."

Alayna opened the paper bag and closed it almost immediately. She turned crimson and threw her head back in laughter. "Oh Jesus." she breathed.

"Oh, no. What is it?" Ville took the bag from her and looked inside. "Fucking hell, Dad. What the fuck?" Ville poured the contents of the bag out onto the bed.

A few bottles of lube in a variety of flavors, a sparkly pink vibrator, a Heartagram whip and handcuff set and a small Kama Sutra handbook. There was a postcard from Aikuisten Lelukauppa within the contents of the bag that read; "Ville, I didn't put any condoms in here. Get to it. -Dad"

Ville, at that point, couldn't help but laugh. His parents, his dad in particular, had humiliated him all night long and this was the cherry on top of it all.

(warning: NSFW)

Alayna glanced over at Ville, "We should at least put these gifts to use, don't you think?"

Ville stopped laughing and smirked at his lady, "I suppose we should." 

Alayna got up off the bed and pulled her blouse off. She reached into a box of her things that was sitting along the wall. Pulling out a CD she popped it into the CD player across the room. (from here on out play this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkjHnzPSdXU )  When the music started, Alayna walked back in front of Ville. She slithered out of her skirt while keeping her 4 inch heels on. She was left in black laced panties and matching bra. Ville was seated on the edge of the bed and was already feeling himself grow harder with the striptease going on in front of him. Alayna approached Ville, bending over to show off her busty cleavage, she kissed his lips passionately. Ville responded, hungry with lust. Alayna trailed kisses down his neck and began unbuttoning his shirt, planting a kiss on his chest after each button was undone. Slowly she made her way down his torso, Ville assisted by removing his shirt once it was completely unbuttoned. Alayna got on her knees in front of her lover. She traced the Heartagram tattoo above his groin with her tongue and then followed up by blowing cool air over the wet lines. The sensation caused Ville's body to shiver with pleasure.

Alayna unbuckled his belt and pulled his trousers down leaving him in just his underwear. She ran her fingernails from his hips all the way down his thighs. Ville was watching in pure amazement. No woman had ever done this for him before. Alayna saw his pecker standing up through the underwear already. "All ready to go, I see." she purred looking up to meet his gaze. Ville was unable to answer, awestruck by how incredibly sexy Alayna was. Alayna pulled his boxer briefs down to his ankles and lightly touched his member. "You like that?" she whispered mere millimeters from his cock. Her lips barely grazed the shaft. Ville closed his eyes as he felt her warm breath against his manhood. Alayna breathed against his package as she reached for one of the bottles of lube Kari had sent them home with. The room had minimal light so she couldn't see what flavored she'd chosen. Alayna opened the bottle and poured a bit right onto Ville's cock. Ville flinched when he felt the cool liquid touch the tip of his manhood. Alayna didn't give him any warning as she took his entire length into her mouth causing him to gasp out loud. Alayna recognized the flavor, cherry, she licked her lips and repeated the previous action that had left her man breathless. She moved her head at an even, steady pace, taking in his whole length in each time. Ville's gripped Alayna's hair as he threw his head back in ecstasy. "Holy... Fuck, Alayna." he moaned through clenched teeth. Ville's hips buckled as Alayna continued her magic. Her top teeth just barely grazed his head which pushed him even closer to the orgasmic edge. "Mmm... Alayna. Oh God, yes." he continued to moan. Each time Alayna heard her name she took him in that much further, causing him to grip her hair harder. Just as Ville reached his peak, he released her hair and grabbed her shoulders as he unloaded. Ville took a moment to recover from the intensity of the orgasm she'd just given him. Once he was done his orgasm, Alayna licked her lips and stood up.

"You should thank your father the next time you see him." she winked as she got herself together. Ville fell back on the bed, his heart racing. 

"Alayna, I don't know where you learned that, but I need to write whomever that was a thank you letter." he smiled blissfully.

[delunicornio]

After leaving work early because of a panic attack, I was (needless to say) upset. Then, this adorable package was in the mail and I finally got my shirt!

Kari Valo sent several Helsinki information brochures and a map, a handwritten message on a postcard featuring the store, and an outdated picture of the guys. Papa Valo is absolutely adorable.

This made my day a million times better, and I’ve washed the shirt and will be wearing it tomorrow. This also means that I have been acknowledged by two of the Valos!

[villevaloismyfetish]

[mrs-depp]

I had another dream about running to Aikuisten Lelukauppa again maybe it's a sign