The Wheel of Time character types:
The Dumb Puppy - aka - Serial Imprinter - aka - Won't Get A Single Break From Now Until the Final Heat Death of the Universe... Or After.
Tiny and Angry - aka - The Sleeping Berserk Button - aka - The One They're Not Gonna See Coming Until She Rips Out All Their Throats.
'If my middle name wasn't Spite it would be Fuck You' - aka - The Duck Mother to the Very Dumb Baby Ducks - aka - Will Spend at Least an Episode a Season Inside a Tragic Romance B-Plot - aka - Had The Braincell, Temper Made Her Lose It (she contains multitudes).
The Violent Sunshine Character - aka - Would Sucker Punch a God for a Homie She Met Two Hours Ago.
If Evil, Why Hot?
The word 'Nap' isn't in her vocabulary but it should be - aka - Can't Have 'One Nice Thing' for More Than Two and a Half Minutes - aka - Allergic to Feelings.
'There's a big sign that says Don't Touch The Red Button... I'm gonna touch the Red Button.' - aka - Who is This... Self Esteem You Speak Of? Never Heard of Them.
Voted Most Likely to be Adopted by a Hundred Random Strangers - aka - The Wolves Would Like Him to Get the Braincell but it Fell on the Ground and the Ground is Lava.
Doesn't Get Paid Enough for this Shit - aka - Clinging to the Last Braincell With the Tips of His Fingernails - aka - 'I can't believe I of all people am willing to have a single goddamn conversation here.'
'Fine I'll Do the Babysitting But You Owe Me So Much Booze' - aka - The Aunt That Once Forgot You In the Mall - aka - The Aunt That Gave You All the Safe Sex Tips and Traumatized You For Life - aka - The Aunt That Would Absolutely Bury a Body No Questions Asked.
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Alanna: Why do you need to see the Amrylin?
Lan: ...
Me: DON'T TELL HER MOIRAINE AND SIUAN ARE IN LOVE DON'T TELL THEIR SPECIAL SECRET
Lan: We found the dragon reborn
Me: Oh. Right. That minor side plot.
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My favorite thing about the Wheel of Time TV series is the way it lets middle-aged women be desirable, desiring, and hot. Moiraine and Siuan have very visible wrinkles! Alanna Sedai is played by a 41-year-old actress, and she's living her best life as the soft domme of a MFM throuple! Especially in high fantasy, I feel like this sort of thing is really unusual and I love it.
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Season two episode 1: Pour the water into the cup and channel it clean, Egwene. Drink the result afterward. I am a trusted mentor teaching you to safety control your power for the rest of your very long life.
Season two episode 6: Pour the water into the cup and accept you will never channel freely again, Egwene. Watch me pour the water on the ground afterward. I am a woman who will hurt you and use you for your power for the rest of your very long life.
If I could make gif sets, I’d do this parallel.
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