#alex manes deserves better as does kyle!

[lovecolibri]

What really sucks about Alex going missing this season is that it should have been an upgrade over the s2 stuff. Instead, regardless of what Michael (and anyone else) does in the next 2 eps, Alex essentially had to save himself. For 5 eps, there was zero indication that anyone was even remotely getting worried about him being MIA and no indication of that ever changing. It's not like people were already starting to get antsy when Liz figured out who was haunting M*ria. S2 Michael had a whole ass girlfriend and still picked up on something being wrong based on a thrown away napkin. Granted, Alex still had to ultimately escape from his kidnappers by himself, but at least, Michael wasn't gaslit into leaving him by everyone who supposedly loves them both. I didn't think RNM could sink lower than Kyle's near death experience after which he was chastised for being irresponsible of all things and basically had to take back rightfully calling out Liz on her bullshit and his kidnapping being a nonevent no one was allowed to so much as mention, but everyone knowing a disabled person is literally buried underground with no means of escape and just sitting around talking about how they totally will rescue him in some nebulous time in the future might be it.

"at least, Michael wasn't gaslit into leaving him by everyone who supposedly loves them both" okay but given their reactions when they found out Michael had left, and how they treated him when he came back (after...not actually rescuing Alex), if he had talked to any of them first, they would absolutely have pulled this same shit.

I’m also eternally angry at how they decided the way to have Kyle miss an episode or two was to put him in a coma, but they didn’t actually want to accidently allow him to have a plotline where everyone cared about HIM so they used it for some cheap drama at the start and then didn’t even HALF-ass more like 1/8th-assed the rest of that and then promptly forgot it ever happened. As evidenced by Rosa being all buddy-buddy with Heath, the man who put Kyle into the coma in the first place!

But yeah, for sure this is worse. Which is...quite a feat to accomplish.

[notsowrites]

Happy New Year 🥳, is too early to ask your impressions about a future Malex wedding? and/or could you maybe use it as a prompt? when you’ve rested enough obviously :)

Happy New Year, anon! 🎉

I love this question. I love this question A LOT.

So, my personal headcanon for Malex getting married has always been that they'd basically elope. Neither of them want big or fancy or grand. And Michael hates the idea of spending all that money for what, right? But he also would yell from the rooftops his laundry list of reasons he loves Alex (and he does in his vows, like he literally just would start listing them out, and talking about how amazing Alex is, and really everyone would get tired of listening) given the opportunity. He wants the world to know how worthy Alex Manes is of being loved and cherished, and he refuses to hold back.

But Alex. He'll do whatever Michael wants. It's just harder for him to articulate the reasons the same way Michael can - words are not something that come easily to Alex. Especially where Michael is concerned. But he knows how Michael makes him feel, he knows that Michael gives him the space he needs but has never been able to properly verbalize. He knows that when Michael kisses him, when Michael puts his hands on his face or the back of neck, he knows he's safe, he's loved. So when Michael says, "let's get married" Alex knows it's exactly what he wants too.

They go to city hall, and it's just their friends and family as witnesses. It's Liz and Max, and Kyle and Isobel, and Maria and Greg, and Sanders and Mimi and Arturo are there because they're important to them as well. And it's all they need - just them and the people who love them.

Afterwards, they have a reception at the Wild Pony, because Isobel insisted on something (and she knows that she'll be able to plan the fancy goes all out wedding for Liz and Max). And there's more people that show up for that, and Max and Maria give the toast, and by the end of it there isn't a dry eye because not only is it obvious how much Michael and Alex are loved by the people in their lives, it's obvious just how much they love each other. And Max tells everyone about high school, and Prom, and realizing that moment he knew Alex was different for Michael. And Maria tells everyone about the Museum Guy, and the little bits she knew about this guy who'd basically stolen Alex's heart at seventeen, but she didn't know the identity of until ten years later.

As for what we could see in canon? Any of that is fine with me 😂. I'd love to see them engaged. I'd love to see them being together around other people. I want to see them talking about the future together. As for who proposed to who? While I think Michael is more likely to spring the question about getting married, I think I'd love to see Alex ask. I want him to get to that point where he is confident in himself that he doesn't overthink what Michael might say in response. That he won't focus on all the things he still has to do to make the world a better, safer place for Michael. That he'll lean all in, and jump because he knows Michael will be there to catch him. That he deserves to have the husband, the happy ever ending, just as much as anyone else.

This got long, but I also wrote a fic back in 2019 where Malex gets married. It was written pre-1x11, but it's one of my favorite things I've written for the RNM fandom. Anyway, I hope that answers your question? I might write another wedding-type fic for Malex eventually, but I don't know how I'm gonna top the one I already wrote. 💜

[ashesandhalefire]

okay but why didn’t they spread this hallucination plot over like three episodes for the maximum unhinged psychological drama effect

michael and alex get actual development in the first half of the season and are back together by 3x06 no i won’t justify or explain just know that i’m correct. we cut the vision plot and anything else that wasted time and accelerate the lockheart machine and jones because those are the ones that are a) semi-interesting, b) purposeful, and c) relevant

we actually see michael or alex asking each other out on their very first real in-public date because that’s a big fucking step for them and i think it’s dumb that we got told it happened in some dialogue

it can be that it wasn’t going to be for another day or two because hello they have other priorities like kyle, who is mentioned every other sentence in my version of s3 because everyone in this town loves him and is horribly repentant over how they’ve underappreciated him <3, and max, who is also unconscious while a sexy maniac borrows his body

anyway they spend time apart working on their respective side plots and that is okay! because we’re getting indications that they’re thinking about each other either from direct mentions or glances at texts or dumb little post it notes from each other that they keep on their desks

and we actually get to see that conversation with sanders because michael being able to confide in someone about this is a big fucking deal and again i didn’t deserve to be told about it in some throwaway dialogue like it wasn’t a scene that had the potential to shatter me

alex is working on the lockheart machine in the meantime and he genuinely thinks that he’s accessing an alien visual guide for the machine because it’s nora! nora is good! nora can’t be evil! and she’s generally unhelpful and speaks like a guide he doesn’t understand how to use properly and then he notices the project shepherd insert and thinks - oh! duh! - she’s corrupted! but technology is his thing and he’s going to figure this out, so he keeps working

and we get a scene of him going to visit kyle, who is safely being cared for at deep sky, where their scientists are working on waking him up under ramos’s constant, intense, unyielding supervision, which coincidentally alleviates the confusion of “why is this coma patient in a random barn” and “why has nobody noticed alex sitting around for two days even though all the walls are glass”

and alex gets to have a little self pep-talk with kyle about how he’s nervous and how he’s trying to resolve the machine issue before it becomes a problem like everything always does, and he also gets to be a little teary and say that he misses working with kyle and that he wonders if maybe he hadn’t been distracted by deep sky things and if they had stayed a team if kyle would’ve still been in so much trouble now

so alex feels guilty and helpless and he goes hard into solving the machine, and he does something - he moves the turquoise closer, he turns a knob, he prods at the project shepherd insert a little too hard - and suddenly the nora that he’s talking to is a little different. she’s a little more personable. she’s kind. she’s friendly. she still doesn’t have a lot of super helpful answers for him because she’s still kind of corrupted. but he doesn’t mind talking to her.

we can still get the same “how’s the office honey” convo because that was cute, but i think alex should be surprised when michael calls because he hasn’t realized how long he’s been working. he didn’t realize that his safety window expired. he didn’t even hear the alarm. he didn’t realize he turned it off. and nora is there the whole time, just smiling and being fond, and alex swears that he won’t forget their date and hangs up.

the music starts playing again, and nora tells alex that there was no music on the planet where she lived, and then alex gets caught up in telling nora about michael because for a second he forgets that she’s not nora. that she’s just a visual manual. she’s not actually michael’s long-lost alien mother that alex accidentally got killed when he brought two civilians along on a recon mission

but she likes alex, which is appealing in a way he can’t explain. she thinks he’s smart and she believes he’s going to solve the machine and she likes knowing that he’s been trying to take care of michael. he leaves deep sky to do other plot related things in town, to visit kyle, whatever, and when he comes back, she’s there and she’s smiling and she’s so happy to hear about her son. her beautiful son that obviously loves alex very much and who alex has worked very hard to protect

but she doesn’t like that he hasn’t always been successful

she doesn’t like that alex was the one that put michael in jesse’s crosshairs, and she doesn’t like that alex didn’t have the foresight to think twice before bringing michael to the shed, and she doesn’t like that he’s made michael feel like he was ashamed of him, and she doesn’t like that he lied about having the console piece - that he tried to trap michael just like every other manes man was always trying to do - and she doesn’t like that he got her blown up. that she lived all those years, that she survived the worst that jesse manes had to offer, that she had hope of escaping and finding her son, all until alex came along. and even after that, alex didn’t learn. even after getting nora blown up, alex still tried to trust his father, still took the console piece back and got himself kidnapped and made it so michael had to build a bomb that would kill what was left of his family just to save alex from his father

and now it becomes clearer that alex’s progress with the machine isn’t really progress. it’s still turning off and on at random. he can’t reach the project shepherd piece. nora isn’t speaking to him kindly anymore, and her clothes are tattered and her hair and face are dirty.

she prods at him again about the ways he has put michael in danger, and alex argues back that he has worked very hard to make sure nothing his father did could touch michael. he looks tired, frazzled

and nora thinks this is especially amusing because maybe the one thing that alex should be making sure isn’t touching michael is himself. maybe alex himself is the one manes weapon that he hasn’t considered.

and the conversation devolves into the same fight and comes to the same conclusion - that alex fears his capacity for love is not enough to overcome his father’s capacity for hate

and alex knows that she isn’t real. she isn’t real, she isn’t real, she isn’t real. she’s a hallucination, she isn’t real

but she doesn’t need to be real to tell the truth, alex. she doesn’t need to be real to be right. all it means for her to be a hallucination is that alex has known the truth all along, that deep down alex has always known that he isn’t enough, that he’s broken inside, that michael is better off without him.

and - oh, look! - the balcony door is open

[pastelwitchling]

@foggyfestival asked:

First let me say, I adore how you write Malex angst 💗 For a prompt - I see a lot of stories where Michael asks Alex to stay and he does, but thought it could be interesting to see Alex leave Roswell and for Michael to go after him.

***

Michael was sure he was going to be arrested, sure he was going to end up in the papers tomorrow. He could see the headline now; DRUNK COWBOY IN CHEAP FLANNEL RAIDS HOSPITAL!

He didn’t care. It had been bad enough that he hadn’t seen Alex in days, but when he finally mustered the courage to show up at his front door only to eventually let himself in and find the furniture covered and all of Alex’s stuff gone, he’d lost any semblance of sanity.

He’d barely parked in front of the hospital’s automatic doors before he stormed out, ignoring doctors, beating security away with his fists, terrifying innocent nurses.

He made it to the breakroom just as Kyle, in his ridiculous doctor’s coat, stepped out to see what all the commotion was.

“Guerin?” Kyle frowned. “What the hell –”

Michael didn’t let him finish. He grabbed Kyle by his arm and slammed him against the wall. There were a few other doctors inside who got to their feet, startled, clutching their cups of coffee for dear life as they looked from Kyle to one another, not knowing what to do or where to go. Michael didn’t give a crap about them either.

“Where is he?” he growled. Kyle clenched his jaw. He was one of the few people that wasn’t afraid of what Michael might do, because they both knew that if Michael ever really hurt a hair on Kyle’s head, Alex would never speak to him again.

“Get your hand off me,” he hissed, trying and failing to pry Michael’s hand off his arm.

“Where is he?!”

“What’re you going to do, Guerin?” Kyle threatened. “Hit me?”

“Did he ask you not to tell me?” Michael demanded, something like bile rising in the back of his throat. “He doesn’t want me to know?”

“All he ever told me was that he loved you!” Kyle snapped, and Michael faltered, his grip on him loosening. “I just thought he deserved a few days’ head start.”

Michael swallowed. “Why?”

“Why?”he scoffed. “I don’t know, Guerin. Go ask your girlfriend.”

He clenched his jaw. “That’s over.”

“Thanks to her,” he bit back. “That should’ve been you, jackass. Youshould’ve ended it, not her. He knew you’d come looking for him –” he shook his head, disgusted “—when you got bored.”

Michael slammed him against the wall again, knocking the air out of his lungs. “Where?”

Kyle glared and said nothing. There was something alongside the anger in his eyes, something Michael knew reflected in his own; misery. He hated that Alex had left, and he blamed Michael for it, too.

Michael searched his face. “I’ll get him back,” he said. “I’ll bring him back to Roswell. He won’t leave again.”

He half-expected Kyle to get furious, to shove him off, to tell him that there was no way Alex would ever come back to him. Instead, he asked, “How? By chaining him up and forcing him back here?”

Michael hesitated, then let go of Kyle and stepped back. “I’ll get him back,” he promised. “Just tell me where he is.”

Michael looked up at the hotel’s address, making sure it was the right one.

“He’s staying in Texas right now,” Kyle had said. “But he’s got a flight to New York in two days. They offered him a job and he took it.”

“Then why not stay in Roswell until then?”

Kyle had fixed him with that same look of absolute blame. “He said he just couldn’t breathe here anymore. He had to get out. So he got as far away as he could without leaving.”

But Kyle had been wrong. This was leaving. Michael and Alex weren’t in the same town anymore, weren’t barely ten minutes away from each other. This was Alex disappearing all over again, and this time, if he failed, Michael knew he wouldn’t be coming back.

When he got to the front desk, he asked the receptionist which room Alex Manes was in. Protocol, however, demanded that she call Alex and tell him he had a visitor. Michael waited with bated breath for the old lady to tell him that Alex didn’t know any Michael Guerin, that he didn’t want to see him, or worse, that Alex had hung up at the mere mention of his name.

Michael was fully prepared to fight through security again when the receptionist gave him a wrinkled smile and said, “Room 33, dear.”

Michael could hardly believe it. He murmured a “thanks” and ran to the elevator. All the while inside, he thought about what he would actually say to Alex, how he would convince him to come back. He hadn’t expected to step out and find Alex waiting in the hall, his head against the wall, his arms crossed as he stared into space. His eyes caught Michael’s and he looked over.

“Alex,” Michael breathed.

Alex sighed, and nudged his chin at his open room. He went ahead and Michael followed. His suitcase was open on the bed, but nothing had been taken out. As soon as Michael closed the door behind them, Alex said, “What’d you do to Kyle?”

Michael scoffed. “You know you’re the only reason that bastard still has all of his ribs.”

“Michael–”

“I wouldn’t touch him,” Michael said. Then, more quietly, “I know what he means to you.”

Alex looked down and nodded. Michael hesitated, took a step towards him, and Alex took a step back. “Don’t,” he warned. “You shouldn’t have followed me.”

“I would follow you anywhere,” he said before he could help it.

“Since when?”

“Since pretending that I didn’t love you made me miserable.” Alex fell silent, and Michael dared take another step. This time, Alex didn’t move away. “You packed your stuff. I’ve never even made it that far,” he confessed in a whisper. “All I wanted was you, Alex, but if I had you . . . and I lost you . . .”

He shook his head, unable to finish. “You can’t leave. I know you don’t wantto leave. I pretended that I didn’t love you, I pretended I could be with someone else, but you’re the only one I would chase down, Alex. I can’t breathe if you’re not there, I can’t.”

Alex kept his jaw clenched as he searched Michael’s face for any doubt or lie, but his lower lip trembled as his eyes filled with tears, and Michael’s heart shattered. He had done that to the love of his life. He would spend forever making it up to him.

“What if . . .” Alex tried, his words cracked. “What if Maria wants you again? What if someone better wants you again?”

Michael shook his head, taking Alex’s face roughly in his hands and pressing their foreheads together, urging him to understand through his painful grip. “There is no better,” he growled. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Alex. No one comes close.”

A whimper escaped Alex’s lips, maybe it was a sob, before Michael’s heart rung out and he closed the distance between them, kissing Alex as he’d always hungered for him. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, reveling in the touch of Alex’s fingers on his jaw, his neck, in his curls.

When they pulled back to breathe, a tear had escaped down Alex’s cheek. Michael wiped it away with his thumb and kissed each of Alex’s eyes. The sound of Alex’s breath hitching had Michael nearly pulling them both onto the carpeted floor right then and there.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” Alex whispered, and Michael rubbed their noses together.

“Always,” he breathed, and pulled Alex back in, unable and unwilling to be apart from him a second longer.

***

Thanks for sending this prompt in! I hope it's what you wanted it to be, and thank you so much for your kind words 💕😍

[spaceskam]

a little follow up to this for @skrtl ❤️️

ao3

warning: literally just talking about mental health

Michael watched Alex through the open door of the bathroom.

As mentally drained as he felt, Alex’s bed was his sanctuary and watching him get ready from the safety of it was something too lovely to apply words too. It replaced all the bad thoughts in his mind if only for a moment.

Things between them were slow moving, but he didn’t mind. Alex was still going to therapy and Michael had decided to do the next best thing with joining AA and a queer support group. He had to hide some truths, but talking about things even in a slightly altered way helped. 

Maybe he couldn’t talk about Max dying, but he could talk about the shed. Maybe he couldn’t talk about being an alien, but he could talk about being different and having to hide. He could talk about being exposed to drugs and alcohol at a young age and using them to numb his mind to the abuse, even if he couldn’t be specific by saying acetone. He hadn’t even realized how fucked up he still was over his childhood until he had to talk about it.

Alex was proud of him though. That was nice.

Alex moved towards the bed slowly, leaning heavily on his crutches with the weight of the bullshit on his mind. Today was his first day back to work because apparently even a mental break could be swept under Uncle Sam’s stripes-and-stars rug if he needed you enough. And Alex was needed.

“Show me you can handle it,” his superior had said, “And we’ll talk about a promotion.” Even Michael couldn’t deny that Major Alexander Manes had a nice ring to it.

Michael made space for Alex to fall into bed and felt a smile tug at his lips as Alex fell face forward into the pillow. His eyes dragged over Alex’s bare back and visibly saw his muscles relaxing out of sheer force of will. The dip of his back led to the hem of slightly-tattered Air Force sweats that he hadn’t even bothered to tie off beneath his leg. Cautiously, Michael reached out and tucked his hair behind his ear, revealing Alex’s eye that was peeking out from the pillow.

“Hi,” Michael said, voice hoarse for no reason. He cleared his throat and Alex shifted slightly to face him.

“Hi,” he said back, “How was your day?”

“Long.”

“Same.”

Michael ran his fingers through his hair again, trying to get his fix of feeling it because he knew he would probably be forced to get it all chopped off soon. Alex yawned, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. When his eyes watered in response, Michael wiped those not-quite tears away too.

“How was it?” Michael asked, eager to hear more. The one thing they both were having to work on was not only making sure they themselves talked, but making sure the other person talked. Sometimes it seemed like poking a bear, but it was always worth it. Communication was key or some shit.

“Well, most of it was the Colonel making me follow him around all day. He basically wants to babysit me until he’s sure I can handle it or whatever,” Alex explained. Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

“But didn’t the General say you were good to go?” Michael asked. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but there’s talk that I only passed the psych eval because he pulled some strings. Which isn’t that much of a stretch, I get it. But I’d rather not be babysat,” he said. Michael understood that more than a little.

“Tell him to fuck off.”

Alex huffed a laugh, “Guerin, he’s my superior, I can’t do that.”

“See, this is why I could never be in the military,” Michael stated. Alex shook his head.

“There’s a lot of reasons why a lot of people couldn’t or shouldn’t join the military. I mean, the whole system is fucked so that’s why we have people that shouldn’t be there, but I’m lucky. I’m in a position where my worst situation is being babysat by some white guy who thinks he’s better than me,” Alex said, shrugging slightly, “Could be worse.”

“I guess,” Michael sighed, “I just still don’t get why they want you to stick around so bad.” Alex gave him a small smile and then tapped his temple.

“Got my dad’s secrets and the General knows that,” he said softly, “There’s a good chance if I try to get out, something bad would happen to make sure I keep my mouth shut.”

Michael’s stomach dropped and his body tensed. Alex had said the words so nonchalantly, but they didn’t feel nonchalant.

“Alex, that’s not funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke,” Alex huffed a laugh despite it not being funny, “Wouldn’t be the first guy to mysteriously go missing because they knew too much.”

Michael kept staring at him and tried to find the best way to explain how much destruction he would cause if that happened. It did, however, successfully distract him from his own personal stress of the day. Alex disappearing was the most terrifying thing in the world. Especially now when they were getting better. 

“Okay, throwing that topic away, I’m not being serious,” Alex said, but Michael could hear that it was nothing more than a comforting lie. Still, he let Alex scoot closer and tap him on the nose to lighten the mood. “Tell me about your day.”

“Um,” Michael said, trying to think about anything but the shitty situation Alex was stuck in, “I was talking to, uh, my sponsor at AA and she asked if I wanted to come to this all boy’s group home and talk.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, when I said that I didn’t really have a success story to tell, she said was like, ‘what the fuck are you talking about, you have a job and a place to live, that’s a success story’ and, I don’t know, made me feel weird,” Michael admitted. Alex smiled.

“I don’t know her, but I like her,” he said. Michael rolled his eyes, but his smile matched Alex’s.

“Yeah, she was saying it would also probably help me because those kids get what I went through specifically,” he said, “I just feel stupid for having so many different issues that need so many specific things.”

“I get that, I felt like that too,” Alex explained, “My therapist back when I was admitted said that they tend to go hand in hand, though, which is just a shitty thing that happens. Like it’s all your life and so things are going to be intertwined and so if one big bad thing happens, there’s probably something else that’s bad that fucks you up that only happened because of the bad thing that happened before. It’s a big cycle that you have to break even if you didn’t start it.”

“So basically I’m fucked.”

“No,” Alex laughed, “We just got dealt shitty hands, but we’re not alone in it. You’re not the only person that has dealt with all of these things. Statistically impossible.”

“I’m probably the only one who dealt with all of those things while also being an alien.”

“You don’t know that either,” Alex said boldly. Michael took a deep breath and nodded.

“So what I’m hearing is you think I should go talk to those kids,” Michael said. Alex nodded with that sweet little smile.

“It’d be good for you.”

“Maybe,” Michael agreed, staring at him for a few seconds longer. He was so pretty. “Positive thing. Go.”

Alex snorted and rolled his eyes, but scooted closer because he could. They were almost nose to nose. For a moment, Michael thought about kissing him. Then he quickly threw that thought in the trash because they still had a long way to go before they did something more than just sharing a bed for comfort.

“Um,” Alex hummed, his fingers reaching out and tapping a little rhythm against Michael’s hip over the blanket, “Oh, you know what, Kyle and Forrest brought me lunch. Did you know they’re, like, weirdly good friends now? Anyway, it was from that new sushi place downtown. It was pretty good, we’ll have to go there sometime.”

“Yeah, we should,” Michael agreed even though he never really had sushi before with the exception of that one time Isobel force fed him sushi and he threw it up in the parking lot of the Wild Pony. But he would eat sushi again if Alex liked it.

“Your turn, positive thing.”

“Uh,” he said, taking a deep breath, “I don’t know. Does that one lady who comes all the time because she drives for Uber and always brings me coffee coming with coffee count?”

“Did it make you happy?”

“Yeah.”

“Then of course it counts.”

“Okay, then her.”

“Was it good coffee?” Alex prodded. Michael offered a little laugh.

“Yeah, it was good,” he said. Alex hummed sweetly, leaning in just a bit to bump their noses together which gave Michael more dopamine than he could actually comprehend. “But I think my main positive thing is right now, being with you.” Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m serious.”

“You keep complimenting me and I might start thinking you like me,” Alex teased. Michael laughed softly and just smiled at this man who he really didn’t feel like he deserved. Which, in itself, was a problem. He did deserve Alex. As long as he was trying to get better and be better for him, he deserved him. Thinking he didn’t would only lead to bad things. “We need to go to sleep, I’ve gotta get up early.”

“Okay,” Michael complied, still feeling much better than he had for most of the day just being with him.

Alex moved up to kiss his forehead and Michael flicked off the lights with his telekinesis.

“Goodnight, Alex.”

“Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

And, still, he pulled him close and held him until he could fall asleep.

[wunderlass]

I’m feeling so deflated to be writing this post. S1 had its flaws but those could be placed at the feet of a freshman showrunner who could learn from her mistakes going into S2 and up her game. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen, and S2 was a mess.

S1 had a clear central plotline: the mystery of Rosa’s death, leading to justice in the form of Noah’s death and Rosa’s resurrection. S2’s central plotline was…um. The kidnappings? Leading into the plot to blow up Crashcon? I think? But there was so much other stuff gong on it’s hard to tell.

Carina – if you happen to come stumbling into the tags for reactions – you’ve already acknowledged that you struggle to edit your scripts down for length. And it does show in the finished product. But you also struggle to edit your ideas down to fit into the episode count you have. There were too many extraneous plot threads this season, too many guest characters, and the ideas you had were shoddily and sloppily executed.

There were shining moments scattered here and there and the occasional good episode, but for the most part this season lurched from badly paced episode to badly paced episode. Stuff was crammed into each episode and yet somehow the plot also treaded water until 2x11 when it all kicked off – and this was because so much of what happened in the earlier episodes didn’t feed into the main plot. Even Max’s death, the overarching motivation for many characters at the beginning, was shoved to the side for other ideas.

And the payoffs for each of these storylines was too often underwhelming. Max can’t come back because he’ll be full of dark energy and a destructive force! Resolved in 30 seconds by him blowing up a pile of stuff. Max can’t remember Liz! Fixed in the same episode. That pattern continued with the finale feeling like it was trying to wrap up all these storylines without really having a story of its own. The various cliffhangers from Crashcon were tied up before the title card and then let’s spend the next 40 minutes treading water again.

There were good moments in the finale. Max and Isobel’s discussion, the Maneforrest kiss, Rosa and Helena’s reunion. But as for the rest? Hear me whine:

-          Jesse’s death was anticlimactic. His line about “no more Manes men” makes no sense given as far as he knew Flint (and maybe Clay?) is still alive. His death should have been poetic because one of his son’s killed him but it didn’t hold the weight it should have, possibly because it came so early in the episode.

-          It would have been far better if Jesse had discovered that Harlan killed Tripp and buried him beneath the shed. How awful would it have been for his entire worldview to be shaken by that revelation? How perfect would it have been if he discovered that Tripp loved Nora? If he died after learning all of that, becoming desperate and sloppy in whatever scheme he was trying to pull off (self-immolation via the bomb?), it would have been a fitting ending.

-          So many characters this season were badly served. Alex, Michael, and to a lesser extent Max, had real arcs and progression. Alex especially you can see them setting up his growth for a payoff in the finale. 

-          Kyle was shafted, shoved to the side for the Steph storyline that didn’t feel like it was going anywhere, and I suspect we got a lot of that cut away to make room for other stories.

-          Rosa’s story started off strong and then mostly got tied into rehab or helping Isobel. Them having her out and about in public in Roswell is complete nonsense.

-          Max had a line for Isobel about her becoming her “entire self” this season, and that rang false to me. We’ve only seen Isobel develop her powers. Her personality has shifted each episode, fractured and inconsistent, dependant on what the writers needed her to do. She didn’t get much of a storyline of her own – the abortion was redundant, serving as a political soapbox for Carina rather than anything that served the character – and while she’s found out more about her heritage, that’s never been as important as Michael or Max finding out about theirs. She said she wanted to become more like her mother and that never went anywhere.

-          I was so hopeful that Carina had listened and understood the criticisms with Maria’s handling in S1 and worked to improve it. She certainly gave her increased screentime. Except, so much of that screentime was tied into Michael, and latterly Isobel. She lacked interactions with Liz or Rosa. She was in two whole scenes in the finale and after she broke up with Michael, she disappeared from the story, and if that doesn’t say it all…

-          And that break-up was contrived bullshit. I’m not saying this as a shipper. It felt like they’d planned to have them break-up in the finale and wrote it even though the motivations hadn’t been properly established. Seeds were sown but they were communicating well as a couple and resolving their issues as they went along. Suddenly those issues got un-resolved and were enough to break them up.

-          The most galling part is that so much of what follows comes from Tripp’s diary, and Maria is excluded. This is her story too! Louise was her great-grandmother! Rather than sitting around her in the hospital room reading this stuff, they do it in the Crashdown.

-          Which fits the pattern of what’s happened all season. Maria found out she was part alien and it was about her powers, rather than her legacy, rather than what happened to her great-grandparents.

-          And it became clear that it was done so they could do the Nora/Tripp and Malex parallel.

-          Which completely solidifies for me where Carina’s priorities lie. She’s been clear that Malex is her favourite ship on the show and Michael is her favourite character. But this season has shown that she’s incapable of ensuring her favouritism doesn’t screw over other characters.

-          The sad thing is this really does show up in marketing. Carina always pushes and praises Vlamis and barely ever mentions Jeanine on her SM. Media outlets write about Malex as the centre of the show and they aren’t supposed to be. We have a sci-fi show with a Latina leading lady and nobody cares – not the showrunner, not the media (outside of Latinx-centric publications), not the fandom. I’m not Latina and it frustrates me so I can’t imagine how actual Latinx people feel about that.

-          Maria was dragged into a love triangle that Carina never had any intention of doing justice to. Maria and Michael were always only ever meant to be a pit-stop on the way to a big Malex reunion. Sadly it’s clear the same goes for Maneforrest. Why write something if you’re only going to do it half-arsed? And it clearly was. That’s why the Maria and Michael break-up was so perfunctory and illogical.

-          While I’m on the subject of Maria – last season Mimi was clearly deteriorating and didn’t recognise adult Maria anyway. Now that seems to have shifted to Mimi’s mind moving through time. It’s still unclear if this is the alien DNA or what was done to Patricia Deluca in Caulfield. I don’t understand why they introduced both elements – apart from being able to give Maria a line about unethical science which OH BOY what a contrast with Liz.

-          Speaking of Liz.

-          Wow.

-          If the central storyline was the kidnappings and Crashcon shenanigans, she really had no involvement with that all season apart from the very end. All the investigation went to other characters. Her mother was involved, but not Liz.

-          Let me repeat that.

-          Our lead character was not involved the central storyline of the season.

-          Alternatively, if you think Max learning about his history, and all of the reveals about 1948, and Maria’s heritage etc etc were supposed to be the main storyline…

-          Doesn’t matter because Liz wasn’t involved in any of that either!

-          Liz was a subplot in her own show after they brought Max back. Hell, she was a subplot even when she was working on that.

-          The narrative focus really has centred on Michael, Alex, and later Max.

-          I wonder what they have in common with each other.

-          If you don’t believe me, check out the screentime figures for this season. Liz had the fourth largest amount of screentime in the finale, and she’s only had majority screentime in a handful of episodes all season (2x01, 2x07, 2x11).

-          And then realise that the plot kept moving after Liz left Roswell. She’s just not part of it anymore.

-          I watched the finale and kept asking myself where Liz was because she kept disappearing for whole chunks of time.

-          She was in her own subplot about science for the back half of this season, and honestly, I’m going to have to write an entirely separate post about Liz and ethics in science because NOPE.

-          Max was right. Liz deserved to follow her calling but she had options that didn’t involve risking the aliens.

-          As such the Echo break-up was stupid but whatever, based on this season I guess it needed to happen.

-          Did Max even care that Liz left? He loved her for twenty years and then when he had her, it didn’t matter anymore? What the fuck? Are we ever going to get answers as to why he fell so hard and loved her for so long, or is the “Malex is cosmic” story more important?

-          Also the whole thing about the Genericorp lady not being interested in Liz based on meeting her at the Crashdown was stupid. You hire scientists based on the previous work they’ve done and their credentials. Diego’s word should have been enough to convince her, and then maybe an actual proper job interview to make sure she was a good fit. Not “let’s sneak into her secret lab to look at what she’s working on”.

-          When Liz does leave, she only says goodbye to Rosa and Kyle. Arturo is mentioned but not seen. Which means the whole ICE sequence this season, which should have been a solid motivation for Liz to take the Genericorp job on its own, has been resolved without a proper payoff. All that stress – scenes that I know felt genuinely stressful to some viewers because of how close to home it hit – and we don’t even get to see Arturo seeing his “genius daughter” leave with his future secured.

-          It’s plausible that Liz said goodbye to other characters – Maria, Isobel, Michael – off screen BUT SHE’S YOUR LEAD CHARACTER AND HER LEAVING TOWN SHOULD CARRY SOME EMOTIONAL WEIGHT FFS

-          Compare Liz leaving and arriving at the ocean to Buffy Summers leaving Sunnydale in Becoming Part 2. There is no contest.

-          It’s clear to me that the audience Carina writes this show for is herself. And that’s fine. Plenty of writers do that. But that means she’s writing a show for the women in fandom who like epic mlm romances with lots of angst. And the problem with that is that this show has a Latina lead who is not being done justice.

-          This is not me railing against Malex. There is space in the show for both things. This is me expressing my frustration at a showrunner and creative team who are not taking care with all characters equally.

-          Carina uses her platform to throw in politics and use characters as mouthpieces without considering their impact. She thinks she’s educating the straight white people in the audience without thinking about how scenes of ICE intimidation, homophobic violence, and racism will affect the people who are impacted by those things in real life.

-          Am I done with the show? Probably not. I’ve got fics I want to write and while I’m not hubristic enough to think I can write better than a team of professional writers, I’m going to at least try and do some of these neglected elements of the show justice.

-          Hubris. Remember when I thought that was going to be a theme of this season? Apparently not. There was no theme, unless “no editing, we die like men” counts..

[djchika]

Initial Thoughts for RNM S3 Episode 1: Hands (General)

“I’m not your son.” beat “…right?” *snort* Max is funny sometimes.

Michael and Isobel looking at each other before they whammied Jones was so cute and for some reason reminded me of the Powerpuff girls. (Note to self: draw the Pod Squad as PPG)

Max Evans is a Cancer Sun I just know it.

I adore Liz and I support the crime-breaking for the greater good. Maybe cover your tracks al little better next time.

The Pod Squad's Mind Scape game has so much fun fic potential!

I don’t hate the Maria/Greg! Maybe there's hope that one day I'll stop projecting my own issues with betrayal on a fictional character!

“The truth doesn’t scream, 'Will you be the father of my children?'” Gregory Manes, it was a first date. You and Michael can form a club of people who go from zero to dad band, 2.5 kids and a dog.

<skipping the malex/alex/michael bits for later>

Sending drugs to her recovering addict daughter. Leonora has an odd way of showing her love.

Why does this LA restaurant have both kikkoman and sriracha sauce on the table? What?

Rosa is adorable, Wyatt is hateful aND SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS

Maria is so cute with that wedding jab lmao.

As someone who loves complicated villains, I kind of adore Liz’s murky ethics.

<likewise skipping the Kylex brotp bits cause I wanna squee about that separately>

Okay I love all of Kyle's scenes BUT ALSO GIVE KYLE VALENTI A BREAK

I kinda wish Heath would stay but let’s face it he probably won’t. Sad face.

Again, Liz Ortecho Anti-Villain is my jam.

Also, I’m still cackling at Guerin’s incredibly midwestern “Howdy Partner". Find your inner cowboy, Vlam!

Okay, overall I looooved the episode. It was a good set-up for the season and I’m excited for everything to come! The only things I’m wary about revolve around two of our three white cowboys. 0/10 not looking forward to any of that.

[el-gilliath]

the way you make me feel part 2

Well it took me a while, but here it finally is. @lambourngb I hope you enjoy part two <3 And before you ask, yes I did indeed give you a happy ending. With a bit of a redemption arc, and a tiny bit of pointing out Isobel’s white privilege. Because I can.

Part 1

“Flint switched the bomb?”

“Yeah,” Alex replies. “Helena switched it to the Manes DNA bomb, and then Flint switched it back. But it was a third bomb, one that makes it seem like Michael was dead. It made his heart beat so slow that there was no way for me to know he wasn’t dead, and it’ll keep it like that for 24 hours.”

“But after that?”

“If I don’t find him, he wakes up and they kill him. After experimentation, pain, and suffering, probably.”

“Thank you, I don’t need the details,” Isobel replies. She’s worried, the way they all are. “I just need to know how you’re going to find him.”

Alex steals a glance at Maria. She looks back at him, giving him an encouraging smile. “We’ve been soulmates since we were 17. We might not always be good, or even great. But our bond is strong, has been since it formed. With your help, I can find him.”

“So what do you need me to do?��

“Influence the bond. Make it stronger so that I can feel him again.”

“I can do it too, if you need it,” Maria says. Alex smiles at her. She deserves an explanation, deserves to hear it from him why he hid it from her, even when she was dating Michael. And he will give her one, just not now. He loves that she knows that and that she’s willing and capable to put it aside, even if he knows she’s hurt.

“Keep that bracelet on for now grand-niece, I’ve got this.” Isobel smirks. “Besides, I know Michael’s brain and you don’t.”

He knows Isobel doesn’t quite believe him, probably because Michael didn’t tell her either. But they didn't tell anyone. Knowing Isobel, she’ll suck it up until the worst possible moment and then she’ll lay into them in any way she wants. He’s kinda looking forward to it. Even though he knows they’re gonna have to make it up to everyone.

“You okay to start?” he asks Isobel, walking over to a booth and sitting down. He knows he has a slight limp, can feel Kyle and Max eying his leg as he walks but he doesn’t really care. “We don’t have a lot of time.”

“I’m ready when you are, Princess.” He gives Isobel a look, watches her flinch as much as Isobel Evans can flinch. “Sorry, that was rude.”

“If anyone’s the princess here, you are.”

“Excuse me, I’m a queen,” Isobel says with a sniff.

“Yeah well, so am I.”

Maria snorts. “I thought you were a king?”

“I can be both.”

“Hell yeah y-“

“Okay, have you forgotten about Michael already?!” Max interjects loudly, throwing his hands up like a kid having a tantrum. Alex is really happy he’s not on the other side of the icy glare Isobel, Maria, and Liz throw his way. By the full body flinch, neither is Max.

“Thank you for your delightful comments, brother dear,” Isobel says, dry as the deserts of Bahrain as she joins Alex in the booth. “It’s almost like we needed or wanted your opinion.”

“Is-“

“No. We haven’t forgotten him. You should know better than to ask.” Isobel shoots him another glare before she turns back to Alex. “You ready to start?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You?”

“No need to worry about me. I do this for a living.”

Alex huffs. He’ll never admit it because he knows it will go to her head but he does admire the easy confidence Isobel has. “Take us away Queen Isobel.”

They’re in what he assumes is the mindscape before he can blink. He looks around in shock, as does Isobel.

“I did not expect you to let me in that easy.”

“Probably because I want you in here,” he replies. He’s not shocked that he’s telling the truth, he knows he can’t lie in here. “I can’t feel him, I know I need your help.”

“Good. If you prefer it to look different than the Pony just think of a place and it’ll take us there,” she says and the visual changes from the Pony to the shed before he can think about it too much. “Is this…”

“The shed where my dad crushed Michael’s hand? Yeah,” he sighs. “He ruined my safe space out in the real world that night. And yet in my head, that night with Michael is still the happiest I’ve ever been. Our bond started right here, you know.”

“That night?”

“Yeah. It started when we kissed in the museum, grew when we were here. My dad cemented it with his hammer.”

Isobel nods. “Your bond locked with the shared trauma.”

“That it did.” Alex looks around. “I can still feel it in here. Always could. I just feel close to him here, even in the real world when I’m close to the shed. Like our bond has a physical connection to it. Worst and best day of my life.”

“Why did you never claim it? It’s cemented and clearly in space,” Isobel asks. Her eyes are curious, full of wonder. It’s quite sweet to see.

“Couldn’t. Between the Air Force, distance, our own issues, Caulfield, and… Maria. We would’ve burned ourselves out trying to keep it healthy. So Michael ended it. A few times, actually,” Alex replies. “It was for the best. We needed a new start.”

“How did you feel about my brother and Maria?”

“Pain. But he was happy for a little while, so I lived with it.” He sighs. “I love both of them, Isobel. Nothing changes that.”

“You’re a stronger man than I would ever be, Alex Manes. I don’t think I could watch my soulmate with someone else.”

“Luckily for you, you don’t have to. According to my research, Charlie is single and ready to mingle.” Isobel’s eyes widen in shock, and Alex can’t help but smile. “I feel like I should apologize in case you didn’t know.”

“I did. I knew the first time I met Jenna that someone close to her was my soulmate, meeting Charlie when she first came to town just solidified it. I’m just not used to someone being as observant as me though I’m not surprised, you are a hacker after all,” Isobel says, smiling in return. “We’re going to be the most antagonistic of friends one day, you and I.”

“That we will be. I guess we have to be.”

“We do if you’re going to be with Michael. I’m possessive when it comes to my brothers, I don’t see that changing.”

“Neither do I, but I need to find him, first,” Alex says. The bond has been subtly reaching all through their talk, Isobel’s mindscape helping it search in a way it hasn’t before. He can’t really feel Michael, but the remnant of the bond is all around him, spreading out slowly but surely as he talks about him. As his mind brings him back and remembers ten years of hurt, sure. But also of quiet moments, of loving and tender touches, of hungry mouths and bruising fingers. “Did you know? About him and me?”

“He did tell me, eventually. I called his closet flimsy after everything with Noah.” She grimaces at the obvious disapproval in his eyes. “Yeah I know. To my defense I had just figured out that my husband of years had been using my body and raping my mind.”

“Still doesn’t explain how you could turn around and do it to Rosa.”

“It doesn’t. And I don’t have an excuse. Call it white privilege if you want, it’s fucked up regardless. But I apologized, she cursed me out and tried to punch me. We’re good. I still have issues I obviously need to work on, but I am working on it.” Isobel sighs. “One day I’ll be free of him, and all of it. But that day is not today, or tomorrow.”

“Good for you,” Alex says, completely sincere.

“And how will your own tour of apologies and explanations go?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided if anyone is owed either, right now. I think Michael and I need to decide that together, after we actually talk.”

“Guess you gotta bring my brother back then,” Isobel answers. “Or I’ll never get my explanation.”

Alex can’t help it, he laughs out loud at her audacity. “You’re something, Isobel.”

“I’m aware,” she says with a wink. He just shakes his head and opens his mouth to reply, instead he inhales sharply as something in his stomach yanks. Their surroundings change around them, morphing from the shed, to the Pony, to the Airstream, to Alex’s house. It stops there for a moment until it morphs again. Roswell High, the UFO Museum, Crashdown, the Junkyard. Every place that’s meant something to them, regardless of the situation, regardless of the love or heartbreak. He feels himself getting nauseous as the images and surroundings spin, Isobel gripping his hand tight and yelling for him to hold on as she presumably concentrates on what is making his head spin. Alex squeezes his eyes shut to stave off the nausea for a second.

They pop open a second later as he sees Michael in his mind.

The images and their surroundings settle suddenly, focusing on the field base just outside the ruins of Caulfield, the green tents surrounded by military jeeps and research trucks. He sees Michael clearly in his mind, laying on a table in one of the tents, surrounded by medical equipment and military personnel. He looks completely still. He has no cuts or bruises on him and his skin isn’t actually blue. Even the blood has been wiped away. He looks like he’s sleeping peacefully. Alex fears it won’t last.

“Is that where I think it is?”

“Caulfield. He’s in Caulfield,” Alex answers.

The world sharpens around them as the mindscape falls away and the actual Pony comes back, Liz, Maria, and Kyle hovering nervously around them, Rosa, Max, and Jenna standing in the background as if not to be in the way, even as their worry is evident.

“You back with us?” Kyle asks, walking in close and examining both of them with his eyes. “You were in there for a while.”

“Michael’s in Caulfield, Deep Sky or whatever their name has built a small base right outside of the ruins there,” Alex answers, ignoring Kyle and getting to his feet as Kyle protests. “We need someone who can get us in.”

“No need, we already have someone,” Jenna answers. “Charlie’s a part of them, or used to be. She can get us in.”

Alex sneaks a look at Isobel at the mention of Charlie but her face betrays nothing. Only her eyes sparkle with curiosity.

“Then you better call your sister, we need to leave now. Before it’s too late.”

-----

An hour later they’re on the road, Charlie driving one car with Jenna, Kyle and Alex with her. Max, Isobel, Liz, Maria and Rosa following in another. Alex is having the worst time sitting still in the passenger seat after he was denied driving the car. He knows Kyle was right, his knee is not up to driving for two hours after all the running he did earlier but it still pisses him off. He can feel the bond slipping in and out of his brain, like Michael is alive, there and constant one second, dead, gone and broken in the other. It swoops him into the last feelings of intense love he felt from Michael, he hears the repeat of ‘I love you’ clear as day. It pushes him out with the abrupt feelings of gone.

He hears Kyle trying to talk to him, hears Jenna and Charlie discuss something of a battle plan. But he can’t follow, his hyperfocus lasered onto Michael and the brief glimpses of him. It’s weird, how he’s seeing him from the outside instead of through his eyes the way he usually does. But with the strengthening that Isobel did he figures that’s the reason. Any other reason isn’t something he’s willing to think about.

He stays in his head for the entire ride, sliding in and out of the bond, sending Michael good feelings whenever he feels the bond respond on the other end. It’s rare, rare in a way that it was during the ten years they were more or less parted and not in the way it’s been for the last few days. Like something is there that he’s been missing. Something that he’s supposed to know well. A truly important part. It reminds him that he never wants the bond to be that closed again.

“Alex.” He refocuses as he hears his name sharply spoken by Charlie. “We’re gonna be there in 30 minutes. You ready?”

“Yes. Can you get us in?”

“I’ll try.” Charlie gives him a wry smile. “You might need to use your last name too.”

He nods, much too used to throwing the Manes name around. “I will. I’ll use Flint’s name too if needed.”

“Good.”

He fades out again, not really listening as Jenna, Kyle and Charlie discuss something. He hearsDeep Sky being mentioned but he doesn’t care right now, he’ll worry about them later. He’ll worry about them when he starts worrying about his dad, who’s back in the hospital after the pistol whipping Alex gave him. Hopefully he’ll stay there for a long time so he doesn’t have to deal with him any time soon. But knowing his luck that won’t happen.

Regardless of what happens, Michael is his priority now. The way he should have been a long time ago. They’ve grown and worked on being friends this past year, something they’ve needed to become a better them. Maybe he wished Maria wasn’t part of that, but at the same time he understands. Michael couldn’t be good for him, with all the shit between them. At least he got to be good for someone else.

“We’re here,” Charlie says, stopping the car not far from the ruins of Caulfield. Alex focuses on the fence and military green base tents instead of the ruins, so he doesn’t have to think about what happened there. He knows it would devastate Michael if he knew he was here, so close to the remains of his mother and her prison. “Jenna, you and Kyle stay with the car. We’ll call you if we need you.”

“The rest of them?”

Charlie gives him a look as they get out and walk towards the gate. “Wow, you really were out of it. Parked about half an hour back, they shouldn’t be too close.”

“Jenna and Kyle?”

“Both read in, Jenna because she’s my sister, Kyle because he’s a Valenti and part of Shepherd.” Charlie gives him a reassuring look, and he’s thankful he’s not alone. “They’ll be fine. And so will we.”

He nods. He does believe her, but this close it’s taking most of his concentration not to get lost in the fluctuations of the bond. It flits in and out of existence in his brain and it’s making it hard to focus.

Afterwards he can’t tell you how they got into the makeshift compound of Deep Sky. He can’t tell you that Charlie used her connections as a former member, he can’t tell you that he put emphasis on the Captain Alex Manes, he can’t tell you that a call to Flint was the last piece of the puzzle.

The only thing he can tell you is how the visual of Michael’s body on a cold metal table almost made him puke. How the vision he had when in the mindscape with Isobel was Michael looking healthy and like he was asleep, it’s not the one he sees on that table. Michael looks cold, blue, like a sunken in version of the healthy man he supposedly was.

He can tell you how it hurt when he tried to breathe. How he had a physical pain in the pit of his stomach, a psychological pain in the back of his mind, tearing through him as he looked at the body on that table. How that body was no longer Michael, even though it looked like him.

He can tell you how it devastated him.

But standing beside the man he loves, the only thing he can do is cry. Silent, deep tears that run down his face as he hears Charlie talk to the commanding officer behind him. He doesn’t know what she’s saying, or what she’s doing.

He knows now why the bond is flitting in and out.

-----

An hour later they’re back in the car. Charlie is driving, Jenna is in the passenger seat, Kyle is in the back seat. And Alex… Alex is safe in the warm embrace of Michael’s arms as they drive back towards Roswell.

He meets Charlie’s eyes in the mirror. For now it’ll stay a secret between them, what happened in that compound.

-----

A day later Alex finds himself walking out of his house just as Flint parks in front of it and gets out of his truck. Both of them are apprehensive, but all the same determined. Like Manes men are.

“He was dead, wasn’t he?”

Flint walks towards him, an apologetic smile on his face. “Yeah.”

“Then how the hell is he alive, Flint? You sent me after him even knowing he was dead. Why?”

“You remember Uncle Tripp?” Flint huffs at the look Alex sends him. “He did the same thing once. The scientists at Caulfield killed an alien and he brought her back. Just laid his hands on her, cried, and suddenly she was alive again. Turns out they were soulmates. I figured if it worked for him, it would work for you.”

Something inside Alex tells him that he knows exactly who that alien was but for now he just smiles, a small smile, unsure yet happy. “Thank you, Flint. He’s alive because of you.”

“Yeah well. I might not be the best at it, but you are my brother, Alex. After kidnapping you I guess I owed you that much.”

Alex can’t help it, he laughs out loud and drags Flint into a hug. “You’re an asshole.”

“I love you too, Alex,” Flint replies, hugging him back. Alex tilts his head even closer as Flint does the same, both of them having no doubts that the other means it. Their relationship might not always be the best, both of them being who they are, but they’ll always be brothers.

“I’m going to take them down, Flint. I have too much at stake not to,” he whispers in Flint’s ear before he pulls away, looking back towards his house where Michael is resting peacefully.

“I’ll do whatever you need me to,” Flint replies. “Dad can’t hold anything against me anymore. And Clay’s been against this whole thing for years.”

“Greg is in too. I guess the Manes men are going to war.”

Flint grins, his grin and Alex’s matching both in intensity and in the joy of fucking something up. The way they learnt not only from Jesse Manes, but from their mom as well.

“Hoorah.”

They part after that, quick goodbyes before Flint gets in his truck and drives away, Alex walking back into the house and into his bedroom, laying down beside Michael. They still have so much to talk about, so much to figure out. But for now the bond soars as Alex gathers Michael close, the intensity of both their love and adoration wrapping around them like a blanket.

It’s warm, safe. It’s just enough.

Authors note: No, Michael wasn’t really dead in the beginning. But you kept talking about me killing them all the time, so he became dead for you.

[manesalex]

Coda to Stay (I Missed You)

Alex needs a friend and Kyle is determined to be there for him. Just a quick coda to the season premiere. Warnings for Alex being self-loathing and a tiny bit of drinking.

***

“You know you can talk about it with me, right?” Kyle asks. He’s reminded Alex of this so many times, offered it so many times, but he thinks that, sometimes, Alex needs that reminder. That it’s safe to do so. That he does have someone in his corner.

Alex has already said he’s fine, but Kyle knows better. He’s seen Alex perfectly controlled and that wasn’t Alex perfectly controlled. That was anger and pain and desperation leaking out of him. And Kyle knew for certain this didn’t have anything to do with Max Evans or Noah Bracken.

When Alex ducked out before Michael arrived to deal with Noah’s body, well, that confirmed it.

So now he’s here. At Alex’s place, six pack in hand.

Alex accepts the beer wordlessly, tossing the cap to the table and taking a sip. “I fucked things up,” his voice is soft, his eyes staring blankly forward as he peels at the label on the beer.

Kyle sits down next to him, waits for him to elaborate.

“He’s right. I pushed him away. I told myself that I needed to. I needed to keep him safe. I did it, over and over again. For a decade. I was selfish. I took what he offered me and then I pushed him away again. Because I was scared.”

Alex swallows, looks down at the floor. Kyle wants to comfort him, but he knows better than that. He knows Alex and knows touch is complicated for him. And he knows Alex needs to talk about this.

“I was being selfish again. I was- I am finally ready to try. Really try with him. Or I thought I was. I’m a mess and maybe I’d ruin it again. Maybe he’s right to be done with me.

“He’s right. I’m not good for him. And he,” Kyle is surprised to see Alex swipe tears away from his eyes. “He deserves someone who can be good for him. Someone who can hold his hand in public without thinking about what happens when- What happened when someone found out.”

Based on Alex’s stories, Kyle can make an educated guess as to what Alex is talking about and, well, Jesse Manes should be glad Kyle has his code now.

He waits for Alex to continue, but he seems to be done, just continuing to sip at his beer in silence.

So Kyle thinks. He thinks about what Alex has told him of his childhood. Of what he knows of Alex now. And then he finally speaks. “I don’t think you were selfish. I think you love him.” He takes a breath before turning on the couch to face Alex. He waits until Alex faces him too, face wet with tears.

“I meant it when I said you’re the bravest man I know,” Kyle continues. “I’ve known you for most of our lives and you’ve never been scared of what someone’s going to do to you. You’ve never been afraid to be you. So… I think you’re scared of what could happen to Michael because you love him.”

He wants to tell Alex exactly what he thinks. About how Alex deserves someone kinder than Michael. Someone less prone to lashing out when he’s hurting. Alex has been hurt enough. But he knows Alex. He knows how quickly Alex will jump to Michael’s defense. He’s not ready to hear it. Maybe he never will be.

Instead, he repeats, “You’re not selfish. You love him. And, right now, you’ve just gotta keep doing what you’re doing. Be there for him. Be his friend. Love him in the way he’ll let you.”

Alex nods, finishing his beer and leaning into Kyle, giving Kyle the permission he’s been waiting for to wrap an arm around him. He smiles as Alex relaxes into his touch.

“Tell me about your day?” Alex asks.

And Kyle doesn’t know whether he’s looking for a distraction or truly interested, but Kyle tells him anyway. He tells him about Rosa showing up. He leaves out all the medical details, but tells Alex how happy he is to maybe get a second chance with his sister, not mentioning the other second chance he got, the one he deserved even less, the one he’s lucky enough to be enjoying right now. He just needs to keep working on maybe deserving this someday.

[cosmiceverafter]

Sprinkled Surprises of Hope and Love

Summary: Michael Guerin isn’t one for surprises, especially when it comes to his birthday. However, that won’t stop the love of his life and their friends from celebrating this curly-haired alien.

A/N: This fic is a birthday gift to my best friend, Beka! I am so unbelievably grateful that this fandom brought you and our friendship into my life. You’re my person forever and always. I hope you enjoy this fic! Happy Birthday, hun! Love ya lots! @i-never-look-away​

Read on ao3

Sprinkled Surprises of Hope and Love

Summer nights in Roswell, New Mexico were some of Michael’s favorite times in this place. Ever since he was younger, he’d drive out in the middle of the desert and just watch the stars shoot across the dark night sky. He would make a wish or two, but truthfully he’d never actually believed them to be true.

That is until he met Alex Manes.

Alex Manes was the love of his existence. Often he would think that the cosmos themselves brought the two of them together. Perhaps coming to earth was written in the stars long ago so he’d find this special human man. Alex was nothing short of a miracle to his life. He gave Michael all the reasons to hope and dream, and basically…want to be and do better.

Sure, they had their ups and downs, but Michael always believed that it was worth the journey to get to this final destination with his one true love. With no regrets made, he had stayed on earth for Alex.

“What are you thinking about, Guerin?”

His thoughts of the perfect man were interrupted by the man himself. Michael looked over and saw his love smiling over at him, the crackling fire illuminating that breathtakingly beautiful smile of his. “You, as always, Darlin.’”

“You’re such a charmer,” Alex laughed as he leaned in for a kiss.

Awe yes, kissing Alex Manes. There was nothing quite like it. He was always taken back in time to their first kiss at the UFO Museum. Truth be told, he wanted to kiss Alex long before that, but unfortunately, he had been too scared to let those feelings come in. Michael had been so vulnerable in those moments. When Alex had leaned in to kiss him after giving him a safe haven and the gift of music, he had pulled away not just out of fear, but out of hope for something more than the life he had been dealt. Michael knew he would’ve messed it all up, so he hadn’t wanted to give in to the dream of wanting someone like Alex Manes.

However, he was not that strong. All it took was one look of the guy in his alien-green painted visor to know he was a goner. Without thinking of all the complications it could bring to their life, he had given in to desire.

It was the greatest move of his life.

He was brought back to the present moment as Alex’s hands moved into his curls. Every kiss they shared seemed to take away his breath yet fill him with life at the same time. It was familiar and comforting, but unique and mesmerizing. Soft lips nipped and sucked as his; Alex’s tongue licking to be let in, which of course he would always extend an invitation for.

Their tongues moved together as the crickets serenaded them in an orchestra of the warm night. He pulled away breathlessly, “God, I love kissing you.”

Alex followed him and smiled against his mouth, the warm breath of his lover hitting his face gently in an embrace, “It never gets old, does it?”

“Never,” Michael answered honestly, “I could kiss you forever and it still wouldn’t be long enough.”

“Then we’d better take every opportunity we can then. We’re living our forever,” Alex whispered, moving his mouth to Michael’s once more.

Yes, this opportunity would not be wasted on drifting thoughts of years past.

But then Alex pulled away, as Michael whined, and looked down at his watch, “Oh! It’s officially midnight. It’s your birthday!”

“Yay….”

“Hey! It’s a big deal, Michael!”

He shook his head. Another year had come and gone on a day he wasn't even sure was his real birthday, “It’s just another day.”

“Not to me it isn’t,” Alex replied as he kissed Michael’s cheek.

“You have to say that because I’m your boyfriend.”

“Nah, it’s because you’re my boyfriend that I can tell you that you drive me absolutely crazy!”

Michael grinned, “In bed?”

“In all ways imaginable.”

“As it should be,” Michael answered with a sly smile.

“Happy Birthday, my love,” Alex whispered softly into the night.

They embraced tightly; this was what made Michael felt safe. As he held Alex in his arms, he looked up at the beautiful speckled sky not wanting to be anywhere else but here.

***

“A BBQ?”

“Yes, Alex, a BBQ at the cabin! We haven’t been there since lover-boy moved in with you,” Isobel laughed on the other line. “I want to see how you’ve made it your own, and to see if Michael trashed it yet.”

“I wouldn’t let him,” Alex replied with a shrug to no one. Truth be told, having Michael move in with him was the greatest gift a man could ever wish for. All walls were down between them. They were finally comfortable being with each other in every way. It was literally heaven on earth.

“That’s my boy!” Isobel exclaimed as Kyle gave a cheer in the background. The two of them had recently started dating, and Alex couldn’t be happier for the two of them. They both deserved some happiness in their life. Kyle was his best friend, and Alex was growing closer with Isobel by the day. He enjoyed her sassy spirit—it matched his own.

“What’s Kyle going to bring?”

“He’s going to help manage the grill and I’ll be marinating the steaks of course.”

Alex smirked, “Since when did you learn to cook, Iz?”

“Please, Alex, I’ve always been a good…” He heard a sigh in the background, “Kyle has been teaching me. But fine… we’ll let Max marinate, he lives for this crap, which you know thrills Liz!”

“Ahh, that’s what I thought.”

Isobel huffed, “He won’t even let me use my powers. Not even a bit.”

“Well, that’s just rude,” Alex laughed as he shook his head, “You’re Isobel Evans, when have you ever listened to expectations?”

“Hmm, you know something, my dear friend, you’re right! I’ll work a little magic with our drinks!”

“Sounds perfect,” Alex smiled widely. Then he took a small breath, “You think Michael will enjoy this?”

“It’ll be the best surprise birthday that alien’s ever received! Just you wait and see.”

Alex sure hoped so. He wasn’t sure how much his alien lover enjoyed… surprises.

***

Michael looked up at the clock high on the wall of the Wild Pony and groaned. It had already been almost two hours.

“What’s your problem, man?” Max asked as he took a long swig of his beer.

“Brother, as much as I love sitting here listening to you talk about Liz and the latest felon, there’s a certain human I’d like to spend the rest of my birthday with.”

“Awe, c’mon, Michael!” Max replied with a smirk, “When was the last time we just got to sit and hang out together?”

“Like three days ago at the Crashdown, remember? And you kept stealing my curly fries and it pissed me off.”

“I gave you the rest of my shake, I don’t see what the problem is.”

Michael shook his head, “You never steal a fry, my friend. It’s the Food Law—Code 3. You’re a police officer. Don’t they teach you these protocols at camp?”

“Camp?”

“Yea, you all run around and shoot cardboard people… maybe a few aliens in the mix. Then you get evaluated so you try to explain that the aliens are in fact the good guys, not the young little girl out at 3 am.”

Max laughed loudly and shook his head, “You watched Men in Black again, didn’t you?”

“It’s a classic! Even Alex agrees. Plus, you and I both know that organization exists.”

“How many times are you going to make that poor human watch that movie?”

Michael slyly smiled with a wink, “Until he forces me to stop. You know how I love when he takes charge.”

“Okay well, I hate to break it to you, partner, but the Academy wasn’t like that,” Max shrugged looking down at his phone. “But fine, I’ll get you to your man.”

“About damn time!” Michael said standing up quickly, almost knocking his hat off his head. Max gave him a ‘really’ expression, the one he excelled at and was most likely born with. “I mean, I had a wonderful time with you and we should do it again soon.”

Max grabbed him by the jacket and put an arm around him, “Yeah yeah, c’mon, you.” Michael couldn’t help returning the gesture.

***

“How many balloons do I need to blow up? I thought I was managing the grill,” Kyle mumbled as it was clear the good doctor was getting lightheaded.

“Um,” Liz looked over her shoulder, “Only about 16… maybe 20, to go.”

Kyle groaned as Isobel leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, “Honey, you’re doing a fabulous job. But um, they need a bit more air. They’re looking a bit… I don’t know, lopsided.”

“You have powers, why don’t you do it? It’ll go so much faster.” Kyle replied with a wink as he kissed Isobel.

“Ugh, do we need to see this all night?” Rosa groaned as she rolled her heavily lined eyes.

“Nope. Soon Michael will be here and you’ll get to witness the Cosmic lovers go at it,” Isobel exclaimed as she motioned to Alex. “And I’ll be using my powers for something else, thank you very much!” She winked his way and handed Rosa some green streamers.

Smiling, Alex shook his head as he heard a meow. He looked down to see Boots rubbing up against his leg. Scooping the small kitten up he said, “Hi little fella, is this too much excitement for you?”

Boots purred loudly and rubbed his face against Alex’s cheek in reply. He wasn’t just happy Michael moved in because he was in love; he was also happy because he just so happened to love Michael’s cat as well. Alex stroked the black and white fur. Boots touched his face softly with his white paws as Alex cradled him in his arms.

Just then he heard a bark and he looked over at his dog Buffy, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re still my number one girl.”

He bent down, still holding Boots, and rubbed Buffy’s ear gently as her tail started going back-and-forth wildly. She rolled over and he gave her a big belly rub, the ones she loved.

Alex sat Boots down, and he curled up nice and close to Buffy, who not only allowed it but seemed to welcome the warm snuggles. The two of them really were the best of friends. Just like Milo and Otis.

“Hey! Max just texted me, they’re on their way,” Liz called out from the kitchen, looking flushed in the cheeks as she continued running around.

Isobel jumped and down and clapped excitedly.

Grabbing his guitar and taking a big breath, Alex hoped like hell Michael would forgive him for all this. He really did.

***

Michael was getting annoyed. Really annoyed. He loved Max, truly he did, but the guy was driving slower than watching paint dry. He kept his mouth shut though, resisting the urge to use his powers, not wanting to ruin their now healed relationship.

He just wanted to be with Alex. It was hard enough to be away from the guy at any point, and this was his birthday, not that he cared much about that fact, but he knew Alex did and probably planned a nice dinner or somethin’ for the two of them.

Finally, they arrived at the cabin. He was about to turn to Max to say a quick goodbye and thank you, but Max was unbuckling and stepping out of his car. What the hell?

Max clearly caught on, “Oh, I’m not going to stay or anything. I know you probably have birthday plans with Alex. I just have to ask him something.”

Since when did Max ask favors from Alex?

Shrugging with a curt nod, ignoring the awkwardness, they walked around back where he knew Alex would be. The first thing he saw was twinkling lights hanging down from the trees.

As his mind was slowly comprehending what was happening, he was stunned into silence at the….

“SURPRISE!”

Michael jumped at the word, literally getting air off the ground, and looked around. You have got to be kidding me, he thought as he saw all of their friends standing there. But where was Alex?

Just as he was about to ask the most important question, he heard the music start to play.

Alex was sitting on one of their barstools next to the trees, holding his guitar. He blew a kiss in Michael’s direction, a wink, and started to sing.

It was the song A Million Dreams from The Greatest Showman, a movie they both had enjoyed. This song though...the way his voice hit the notes was mesmerizing. This was his gift for Michael; it meant so much to them both.

The first time they had watched it, they went to the local Roswell movie theater for date night, and when the song came on, their fingers had intertwined and Michael had leaned over whispering to Alex, “It’s like our journey and our future.”

Alex has nodded and pressed his lips to Michael’s, “Kind of like a song meant for us.” Their song.

He had remembered. Alex always remembered everything.

When he was done, everyone clapped as Alex smiled and nodded to Michael. Alex knew. He knew. Michael tried to ignore the tears forming quickly in his eyes and looked away, pulling his cowboy hat way low.

He was just so unbelievably touched at that moment. Music had always brought them together; it was the foundation of their relationship.

But before he could go kiss his boyfriend, Alex started playing again. This time “Happy Birthday.” They all joined in and he felt touched in another way.

They had all had their ups-and-downs with each other, especially with Kyle Valenti who sometimes he was still unsure of, but they had overcome so much. They were a family; they had made it so.

When they were finished, Michael cleared his throat. “Y’all, thank you.”

“How mad are you on a scale to 1 to 10?” Isobel questioned with a sisterly smirk, raising an eyebrow.

“You don’t wanna know,” he replied, narrowing his eyes.

“Perfect! That’s what we were hoping for!” Isobel exclaimed excitedly as she rushed over to him and kissed him on the cheek. He hugged her, never wanting her to change her eccentric ways. She was one of a kind.

He looked over at Max, “Guessing you were in on it?”

“I took you day drinking, Michael,” his brother from another mother replied. “How you didn’t question that, is beyond me.”

They both laughed and hugged. The guy really wasn’t so bad after all, was he? Max had a heart of steel… literally.

The others came over one-by-one and shared a hug or in Kyle’s case, a handshake. It was touching really.

But there was one person he wanted to get to, above all the rest.

Alex was still sitting on the stool, letting their friends have this time with him. But Michael made his way over and grabbed Alex’s chin lightly, tilting it up, “Thank you. Thank you for the song, it meant the world to me.” Alex nodded and closed his eyes. “And thank you for planning all this.”

“You aren’t mad?” Alex opened his eyes and winced slightly, as he put his hands on Michael’s wrists. It didn’t take a genius to know this was mostly Isobel’s doing. Alex would’ve been more than fine sitting by the fire and eating together. They never needed to have showy things; they had each other and that was more than enough.

“Nah,” Michael replied, shaking his head. “Because I know you’ll make it up to me later. In so many different ways.”

Alex’s eyes widened, then filled with desire. When Alex looked at him in that way, Michael wanted to rip his clothes off. He had to control himself so he didn’t do it with his powers, something he had recently done.

“Kiss me,” Alex answered softly, his bottom lip full and pouty. It needed to be sucked on, and he volunteered always as that tribute.

As they kissed softly, Michael felt as though he could finally catch his breath.

He heard Rosa groan in the background and Isobel chuckle, “Didn’t I tell you we’d witness some ‘Cosmic exchanges?’”

Now Michael shook his head and turned to glare at the group, “It’s my birthday and I’ll kiss my man if I want to.”

Liz laughed, her long hair swaying, “Should we just be on our way then?”

Michael grinned and looked towards their cars, “Well….”

“Absolutely not!” Isobel said with that party planner gleam in her eyes. “The party is just getting started!

And party they all did. It was a wonderful evening, to Michael’s relief. They ate delicious food, which Liz, Kyle, and Alex managed. The three humans laughing over old memories. The drinks were exceptionally tasty and he kept noticing Isobel winking at Alex; information he’d pry out of his lover later. He enjoyed the fire with Max and Rosa, who talked old bands and good music as Rosa played some music of her own with Alex’s guitar.

The cake was a special one that Liz, Rosa, and Arturo made. It had an alien on top, with green frosting running down the sides. It was delicious, and his alien insides were very happy. There were lots of candles on top. Michael smiled knowing very well, he could possibly be older or younger than that.

They gave him some gifts. A really nice whiskey, a new belt and shirt that he actually really liked, and a few books. He loved to read, especially at the cabin. The people surrounding him knew him better than he ever realized.

He enjoyed the conversations, the music, and the company of his furry pets as he rubbed Buffy’s ears; the red kerchief he gave her was tied loosely around her neck. Occasionally he’d look at the window and see Boots staring sadly out the window clearly wanting to join the party. He’d go into the cabin and give his kitten some lovin’. Boots was too small to be let outside, so he’d have to bring the attention inside. Rosa and Isobel were so fond of the cat and demanded to also share the affections of his little one. Boots was thrilled, purring loudly.

They all eventually made their way around the fire, telling jokes and stories of the adventures they had all gone on together. It had been one wild ride. He was grateful for all of it, even the rough times. They shaped who he was and you know what? That was more than enough.

***

After everything was cleaned, and they had gone deep into the night, everyone finally said their goodbyes.

Alex had found him on their porch, as he was looking up at the night sky once more. Leaning over, Alex put his arms around Michael and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Did you have a nice birthday, sweetheart?”

Michael sighed and leaned back so he could look at Alex from within his arms. “You know what? I really, really did, baby.” He smiled softly and kissed Alex’s hand gently, “Thank you.”

“It was Isobel’s idea really,” Alex replied with a grin, “but I did think it was a good opportunity for you to see how loved you are.”

“Guess I do need you all to remind me from time to time.”

“I’ll help to do that, my love, always.”

They gazed up at the night sky, the beginning and the end of their night.

Michael held tightly to Alex’s hand, his lifeline, and his anchor that kept him grounded. Michael looked up at Alex as his love looked down at him.

“I love you, Michael.”

“I love you, Alex.”

They spoke the words at the same time; double the meaning, double the love.

Michael grinned as Alex sat down next to him, “Maybe they were right about our ‘Cosmic exchanges.’”

“That’s how it’s always been with us.” Michael nodded in reply at the truth of Alex’s words. He was right of course; the course of their relationship was written in the stars. As if by magic, a shooting star suddenly danced across the night sky. “You better make a birthday wish!” Alex said as he looked up at the heavens.

Michael looked at his beautiful Alex and felt his heart swell. So this was what true happiness felt like, sprinkled with a dash of hope. What more could he ever want when he had the whole world next to him? He brought Alex’s hand softly to his lips once more and said, “It already came true.”

[litwitlady]

whoever is filthy, let him be filthy still (4/6)

Read on AO3. - A chapter ahead over there.

Warnings: mentions of murder and childhood abuse

iv. Max

‘And Max. He’s your brother? You were found together?’

Michael nods but frowns. ‘We’re brothers in theory, I guess.’ 

‘In theory? Explain that.’ Dr. Sampson hands him a cup of coffee and settles back into her seat. 

He shrugs. ‘He and Isobel were adopted together. I got thrown into the system. Once I returned to Roswell, we struggled - I struggled.’ He clears his throat and takes a sip of the coffee. ‘He can be a condescending dick. And as de facto leader, he pisses me off - a lot.’

‘Have you ever been close?’ Dr. Sampson has a voice that lures things from you - ugly truths that you never made a conscious decision to admit. To yourself or anyone else. Michael decides it’s her superpower. 

‘Once. Back in high school. Before all the lies.’

She smiles warmly, trying to soothe the answers loose. ‘I know you two aren’t blood related, Michael. And that your relationship is often strained. But do you still think of him as your brother?’

‘Only sometimes.’

***

Michael doesn’t immediately go to Max. He drags his feet for a couple of weeks and is happy to continue doing so, but Isobel has other ideas. She begins orchestrating reasons for family meetings - their doppelganger problem, Liz and Max’s emotional crisis, her desire to cook some new recipe. 

None of her plans work. Michael too stubborn and Max too oblivious. It’s not until Max unexpectedly climbs down into Michael’s bunker that avoidance is no longer possible. And he comes at the worst moment. Michael is already fuming - his newest calculations providing nothing but bad news. No matter how many simulations he runs. It’s frustrating, but not nearly as frustrating as when he’d run into Alex and Forrest that morning. At the Crashdown having breakfast, hands touching across the table. This time they had noticed him and he honestly wishes they hadn't.

‘Not in the mood, Maxwell.’ He doesn’t bother looking up from his worktable.

Max ignores him and slides a stool over, sitting far enough away that Michael can’t reach him. Already playing defense to Michael’s anger. ‘You’re never going to be in the mood for this, so sit down and listen.’

Michael laughs, bitter and sarcastic. ‘Fuck you, Max.’

‘I don’t want to be the leader of this anymore.’ He motions vaguely around the bunker.

That certainly grabs Michael’s attention. ‘Come to handover your letter of resignation?’ He sits down on his own stool and smirks at Max. ‘Because I accept. Long live Queen Isobel.’

‘Not Isobel, Michael. You.’ He’s looking at Michael through those big, brown puppy dog eyes - full of sincerity. Not a single hint of humor anywhere on his face.

Michael laughs anyway. ‘I don’t have time for this, Max. Go brood somewhere else.’ 

Max stays quiet but he doesn’t move. He watches Michael work for a long time. It frustrates Michael because it’s always been one of his favorite strategies. Wait him out until he crumbles - which Michael always does because Max can be a patient motherfucker once he digs his heels in and decides to be an asshole.

The air around them thickens and when Max clears his throat, Michael comes the tiniest bit unhinged.

‘Alright, fuck! Say what you came to say. I’ll listen.’ He only half means it, but Max seems satisfied enough. 

‘Sheriff Valenti confessed something to me a few months back. Something I’ve kept from you and Isobel.’ He stares down at his hands and grimaces. ‘I didn’t know how to tell you or what any of it meant or even who I was anymore. And that was wrong. I’ve been wrong about a lot of things, Michael. Especially with you.’

Michael rolls his eyes at Max’s melodramatics. ‘Spare me the contrition, Max. Just spit it out already. I have work to do.’ 

‘It wasn’t you in the group home who was drawing all over the walls. It was me.’ Their eyes meet over the table and a heated silence falls around them. Michael blinks slowly, not comprehending what he’s just heard. ‘I was the deranged, damaged kid. And I think I’ve known that all along.’ He shakes his head and breaks eye contact, staring back down at his hands.

More silence. Several moments stretching long between them. Finally, Max sighs. ‘Say something.’ Emotion straining his voice. Eyes welling with tears.

Michael continues to glare at Max. Not believing he has the audacity to cry. He tries to stand but it’s like he’s glued in place. And instead of his normal white hot rage, a calm coolness washes over him. Pooling in the bottom of his belly. Michael knows that feeling is hate. Pure, icy hatred. He’s not unfamiliar with the feeling - Jesse Manes, Kyle Valenti, Flint Manes, Noah Bracken. Sometimes the list seems endless.

‘Explain it better, Max. Make it make sense.’ Every word pushed through teeth clenched so tight he’s worried they’ll break.

The tension surges between them, the temperature palpably rising in the windowless bunker. Michael’s not sure he’ll hear anything Max says - not with the ferocious pounding in his head. Blood pumping through his veins like icy sludge.

‘All my nightmares as a kid - the times Isobel literally had to mind-walk me so I’d calm down. My obsession with the symbol - the way I’d doodle it over and over again in every notebook I ever owned. And then the tattoo.’ His voice cracks, high-pitched and frantic. ‘Now, with all that devil talk? Michael, I couldn’t have survived what you survived. I’d have killed more than some random pervert in the desert.’

Michael stalks towards him, fists raised. ‘Is that supposed to make me feel better? I was kicked around - slapped, beaten, burned. And that’s all supposed to be okay because you were safe? From yourself?’ A strangled noise rises from Michael’s throat. ‘I was never loved, Max. Not ever. Not once. All so you could be protected and loved, held tight by the perfect fucking family?’ 

He takes several steps forward, fisting the collar of Max’s jacket. The urge to wrap his hands around his brother’s throat throbbing in his fingers.

Max grips Michael’s wrists softly. ‘And yet, you are the most loving of the three of us. Of anyone I’ve ever met. And no that’s not fair, but it’s the goddamn truth.’ He pounds his fist on the table and Michael flinches, dropping his hands away and stepping back. Watching as Max’s tears finally crawl down his cheeks. ‘You’ve always had the most control - ever since we were kids.’ He throws his hands up in submission. ‘You’re not the murderer, Michael. I am. It always had to be this way.’

A manic sort of laughter overwhelms Michael. He can barely believe what he’s just heard. And by someone meant to love him. He turns his back to Max and moves as far away as he can. The rage inside him festering into something almost sentient. He closes his eyes and counts backwards from twenty - inhaling and exhaling around every number. Like Dr. Sampson had suggested whenever his anger tries to get the best of him. 

Michael can choose to take back control. To let it all go. Even if the other person doesn’t deserve such kindness.

And it works, mostly. Some of his tension drains away and the weight on his chest subsides enough for him to breathe again. He’s still angry - still furious. But it’s a low, simmering heat now - not the numbing white hatred that had consumed him earlier. His head is spinning with this sudden rewrite of his life and there’s only one person he wants to talk to right now. And that person is certainly not Max Evans.

Michael slowly turns around and shakes his head at Max. ‘I need time. Maybe a lot of time.’ He needs Alex. ‘I miss my brother. I’ve missed my brother for a long time now. But the truth is, Max? I don’t recognize you anymore.’

Max nods. ‘I get that. And for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry.’ He starts to walk away but stops with one foot on the ladder. ‘I won’t tell Isobel yet. To keep her out of your hair for a while. However long it takes for you to process all this.’

‘I’ll tell her when I’m ready, Max. You don’t have to keep making all the decisions and putting in all the work. We can’t be a family until we’re all on equal footing.’ He moves towards Max. Not necessarily because he wants to - because he doesn’t. Not right now, anyway. But he knows that some future version of himself will want this. That Max needs this and Isobel. Maybe even Liz. So, he wraps his arms around Max, quick and tight. One sharp clap on the back. ‘Maybe take a trip to California.’ He pulls back. ‘I hear it’s nice this time of year.’

Michael returns to his calculations and Max leaves, already planning the best route to California in his head.

[lovecolibri]

Things that Spark Joy-3x13

Extremely late but not forgotten! Also, because this is so late and I’ve had time to sit with all the things that hit wrong but I couldn’t put a name to yet, this will....probably be a little short. It seems that the RNM finale curse has struck again (salty, salty, salt post here), but there were still some good moments, so let’s find joy where we can!

I do like that the radios came back into play

We got some Liz and Kyle science bros

I do like that Max and Michael got to have a moment to talk to each other, we have been missing more of that dynamic so them sharing a scene with just them was nice and I really loved Michael’s “ We can’t walk away from the tough conversations with the people who love us” because that applies to them and Isobel as a family as well as their respective soulmates. Hoping for more Pod Squad moments in season 4 which will hopefully occasionally include them teaching Dallas all things alien

I like Heath so much more now that we know he’s been doing this all to save Dallas, and the fact that he knows Liz’s “idea” face was cute. I just want him to be part of the Liz/Kyle/Michael science bros squad.

KYLE DANCING TO SHANIA TWAIN. That’s it. That’s the post. I love him so much! Also, his absolute delight at getting to stab Max with a giant needle without sedating him! Kyle gets to be a little bit mean and petty towards his ex’s BF, as a treat!

I’ve been pretty “Meh” about Echo since season 1 when they didn’t let Liz stay mad at him for Rosa’s death, but they did have some really soft moments (finally) this episode. I have some....other thoughts about the actual reason, but I do think it was important that the show finally tell us why Liz is as drawn to Max as he is to her and the story about them being kids and feeling connected was cute, and the way he just stared at her while breathing through the pain was some good Soulmates content which is what we’re all here for anyway.  Also, I am NOT immune to The Height Difference, and her trying to snuggle him and still fitting under his chin even with him sitting was 🥺🥺🥺

Finally we got a little bit of the Michael breakdown I’ve been wanting! Vlamburn always bring such life to their scenes but man, Vlamis and his face crumpling during the “What if I have to kill my own father. Are you gonna love me then? Am I still gonna love myself?” was something else. 🥺🥺🥺 And Alex’s reassurance of “We defeated one monstrous father, we’ll do it again” was so perfect. I love that we got lots of soft, unhurried, gentle kisses this year and Alex tugging on Michael’s arms to ask for goodbye/good luck kisses was so cute.

Unpopular opinion, I don’t mind when Liz calls Max by his full name. I made another post about how names carry weight (that I wasted half an hour looking for so I could link it but Tumblr WILL NOT FIND IT FOR ME), but also given how many times the writers had weird name moments like Michael suddenly calling Alex “Manes” out of nowhere, and Max calling Michael “Guerin” for...some reason, I do like that the kept up the tradition of Liz calling Max by his full name when she’s having A Moment. I also like how Jones flips the script and calls her “Elizabeth” which Max never does.

Another unpopular opinion, I think if you’re going to go with a doppelgänger/body swapping story, you’d better damn well use all the tropes. So Max and Jones switching bodies back and forth and Max popping into a body that’s currently stabbing someone, and switching just in time to get tased by Alex was deeply hilarious and satisfying to me.

I also enjoyed the teamwork with Michael distracting Jones enough for Liz to hop up and snag the serum. They all work better together as a group because (for the most part) they all have their strengths. 

Kyle continues to be the single holder of the Common Sense Brain Cell. Of course he has a fire extinguisher in his car! Kyle deserves all the praise for being the main reason everyone hasn’t died already.

My other Big Unpopular Opinion is that the scene with both Jones and Max acting like Max was great. Again, if you’re going with the doppelgänger/body swapping thing, you have to actually USE it. Plus, it gave us that moment you always need in these stories where you see that the knowledge of a person and their relationship to each other isn’t the important part. That there is more to love and connection that just knowing the facts about something that happened. Those moments are colored by the emotions and connections that happen, and this was a great way to solidify the Soulmates of it all.

I loved the Pod Squad + Dallas moment and that they are learning they need to communicate and decide things together as a group. (slightly petty moment of joy for me too given that Dallas was the only one invited to join the discussion). Michael is so delighted when he startles Dallas with the acetone reveal and I just love them as friends SO MUCH. I cannot wait for more Dallas and I hope he’s here forever now.

We finally got another Kyle/Rosa scene and I’m glad they FINALLY got her papers (putting my blinders on for this one as Alex for sure would have done this ages ago but I digress), and I love that Kyle realizes that she needs some freedom to go explore and gives her a means to do so. She had better start every sentence in season 4 with “well, when I was in New York” otherwise what is even the point?

We got an actual Echo dance since the last one was with Jones which was sweet. Again, if they don’t start season 4 with Echo obnoxiously shoving photos of their beach vacation in everyone’s faces, what is the point?

Again, blinders and putting aside other feelings about it, I love that Malex got a moment together to put Jesse behind them after 3x09 brought a lot of that back up for Alex especially, and them holding hands going down Main Street was a nice callback to Michael’s comment in the bunker earlier. And despite everything else, Vlamburn continue to deliver in their body language and every micro expression.

The Kybel set up was good this season and I can’t wait for it to happen in season 4. Lily and Trevino have such great chemistry, but I’m so sad he didn’t get the dance. Someone please hug that man, he’s been through so much in the past few weeks!

I like the set up for season 4 and the new alien who could possibly be the person Jones called. Are we finally going to talk about The Alighting?! We get a professor that knows Liz? I am definitely intrigued!

[lambourngb]

Duty of Care and /or Gravedigger’s Union

I did Grave Dancer’s Union - a nod to my 90s love of Soul Asylum here.

Duty of Care was another torture Michael fic- I wrote it pre-season 2, when I thought the love triangle was going in a particular way. I don’t know if there’s still an appetite to season 1 au stories? There’s some season 1 characterization of Alex ahead, particularly in regards to Jesse.

Here’s what I had - some of which already appeared here before Last Year’s Wishes ate my brain.

****

“Can’t believe Maria is still wearing the pendant of alien poison around her neck while she dates your alien ass, Guerin..” Kyle commented watching the decay values multiply as Liz titrated pollen into the samples.  

The current theory on alien resurrection, and it said a lot about his life that he had competing theories on alien-involved resurrection, was that their ability to manipulate energy changed based on their needed life skills at the time of adolescence. Michael had been separated from his siblings young, and needed to develop defensive skills. The defiant and pained look on his face when he explained stopping an item being hurled at his head at the age of 7 was a needed survival tactic courtesy of foster homes he had passed through kept Kyle from questioning any further.

Isobel had through her mother Ann’s never-ending dinner parties and charity benefits, found comfort in seeing and knowing what was meant under the sugary sweet words of adults around her. Being a small child paraded around adults who were charmed by her blonde hair and blue eyes meant she had the most exposure to social events while Max hid in his books. 

Finally Max had anointed himself as a fixer early on in their life. He had taken responsibility for Michael being left behind, and had tasked himself to protect his sister afterward. The defensive use of healing fit with his offensive ability to kill in the service of keeping those he loved safe. 

At the most basic level, it was all energy from synaptic responses in brain waves to manipulating molecules to move or stop an object. How a pollen interrupted that energy use could theoretically solve the problem of how to jump start an ability.

“You think you might get around to telling her the big secret anytime soon?”

The mask over his mouth and face did little to block the glare Michael shot at him. “Shut up Valenti.” 

“I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s Maria. She is a card carrying member of the ACLU and the Nature Conservatory. I had to bail her out of jail last year during an ICE protest. She’s not going to turn you over to the government.” 

“Kyle!” Liz scolded, “We talked about this. Agency. It’s up to Isobel and Michael who knows. I already broke that with you.”

Michael ran a gloved figure over the counter absently. “I hate secrets, okay. This isn’t any fun for me, especially considering how many people already know. I went from having just Max and Isobel, to basically the whole graduating class of New Roswell High in on it. A lot of loose lips.”

The habit of 20 years of paranoid silence was probably a lot to try and break with a new relationship if that was the basis of it. There was a good amount of slack that Kyle could extend to Michael, including trying to be understanding when he started up with Alex’s best friend in the wake of Max’s death, but exclusion of Maria from the secret felt wrong to him.

He couldn’t fathom the reasoning behind lying to someone that he wanted to be in a relationship with, and he had a feeling that it wasn’t because of worries that she would tell someone about the aliens living in Roswell. While he couldn’t outright call Michael an asshole on Alex’s behalf, he could poke and prod him when the opportunity surfaced.

“You should look at this way Guerin, that larger circle means if something does happen, you’ve got more back up than just Isobel, with Max being out of commission.”

“Oh yeah, so if the government disappears me to a black site, you’re going to ride to my rescue?”

“Yes.” Kyle replied seriously. “I wouldn’t be alone either.” The name Alex Manes went unsaid, but from the brief wince on Michael’s face, he knew exactly who was being referred to obliquely. Scored hit again.

“Well as fun as this discussion is, I’m going to take off. Iz and I have practice plans.” Michael slipped his hat on, and tucked the stool away. “Liz, call me if you have a breakthrough on nullifying this stuff. For a rare flower, there sure was a lot of it stockpiled in Noah’s cave.”

“Sure thing, Mikey.” 

“Valenti, make sure she goes home to sleep and eat at some point. I don’t want to have to put her in a pod next.” He ducked out of reach of her hand, laughing at the offended look she sent his way. 

“Far be it for me to agree with him, but he’s right. You’ve been burning the candle at both ends and the middle between rebuilding your lab, researching Max’s healing power, studying this pollen, not to mention working at the diner. We should make time for something else, like a drink or a movie. Recharge.” The past month since Max’s ‘death’ brought back the manic energy burst from solving the issues with the depowering serum. From one catastrophe to another, it was barely time to recover before the next happened.

“I know, I just. I need to stay busy. It’s so quiet without him.” Liz stretched and started to tuck her last slide away into the cooler. “But I think I am done today, if I work anymore, I’ll just be making mistakes.”

Kyle slipped on his coat and held the door. “Not that I don’t believe you leaving on your own volition, but let me walk you out.”

“Lucky for you, I’m too tired to be offended.”

Kyle kept his hand on her back gently steering her through the hallways. The third shift was on at the hospital, and he winced to think about his own upcoming shift at noon tomorrow. Balancing football, his pre-med studies and his social life in Michigan taught him valuable life skills in working on short sleep, but even the hours of residency had no competition on his current life of alien lab work and tracking down government funding of a black ops prison project with Alex. When he mentioned a night off, he wasn’t only including Liz in that need.

Inhaling the cool night air, he calculated if he made it home, heated up a meal, and fell asleep promptly there was the opportunity for 6 good hours of sleep before meeting up at the bunker to check in on the data mining project Alex was running. 

“You know, you should go a little easier on Michael.”

“I thought everyone in this town was in love with Max Evans, but apparently it’s Guerin.” Kyle retorted sarcastically. 

Liz bit her lip at the mention of Max before sighing softly. “I’m serious, Kyle. He’s really messed up right now. I was actually shocked he was somewhat sober tonight.”

“I’m not going to be petty here Liz, and mention the obvious that we are all really messed up right now. I get where you’re coming from about their need for secrecy, but Maria really deserves better. I’m not her best friend like you are and Alex was, but I’ve been here in this town with her. She was there for me after my dad died, and she supported my mom’s election for sheriff. With Mimi getting worse, she deserves to have someone to count on, not someone who is lying to her, and by extension, making all of us lie to her as well.”

“Alex was? Past tense?”

He arched his eyebrow in disbelief, “I guess I am going to be petty tonight, but seriously Liz? Have you talked to Alex lately? Every time Maria comes up in conversation he puts his best ‘Baghdad was a little warm and I was just doing a job’ face on and repeats to anyone listening how happy he is for them. Guerin messed him up, and worse, took away from him one of the few people he lets himself drop that soldier bullshit front he has.”

Liz sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I know the history with Michael is a little complicated, but we don’t always get to choose who we fall for and who we don’t. Love is messy. It doesn’t color inside the lines and follow any of the rules.”

“Maybe you’re right about that, and maybe there’s no avoiding the heartache. I do believe though that you can choose whether or not to be a dick about things, and Guerin not telling Maria is a dick move and it’s got consequences.” Kyle unlocked his car, and opened the passenger side with a gesture. “Our sister doesn’t have many friends, and he’s robbing her of one right now. Rosa lost ten years because of aliens, don’t you think that’s enough loss for all of us?”

“Do you know how annoying you are when you’re right? I’ll talk to Michael, better yet, I’ll talk to Isobel about letting Maria in on the secret.”

He slid into the driver’s seat, smiling across to her. “Tomorrow. Tonight, what’s left of it, is for sleeping.” He turned the ignition, and stopped,  as the headlights came up illuminating the familiar green Chevy sitting across the lot from them. “That’s Guerin’s truck.”

“He left before we did, what’s it still doing here?” Liz ducked out of the passenger seat and ran toward the truck without waiting for an answer. Kyle swore softly, untangling his hand from the ignition to follow her. The truck looked undisturbed, no sign of the occupant. Liz reached for the driver’s side door, testing it, and gasped as the door swung open. The ever present black hat slipped off the dash into the floorboards.

There were three things Michael prized above all others, his truck, his cowboy hat, and his sister. To leave two out of three unprotected was highly out of character for him. Kyle turned around the parking lot, scanning for signs of him. 

“Kyle, look,” Liz grabbed his arm and pulled him down toward the wheel well of the truck. Gleaming silver in the light , tucked on top of the tire tread, was a syringe needle with a depressed plunger.

“That’s not good.”

She stuffed her hand into her pocket and withdrew a spare latex glove to wrap around her fingers as she lifted the syringe from the tire.  She peered closely at the vial, a sickly yellow liquid film thinly coated the inside. “I think someone took him, and without testing it, I’m guessing this is some sort of knock out drug based on the pollen.”

Kyle reached for his phone, mentally saying goodbye to the idea of sleep anytime soon. “I’ll call Alex, you call Isobel. And I don’t know, I guess call my mom? I mean, we usually call the police when someone gets abducted.”

Liz thinned her lips, holding the needle with one hand as she dug out her phone with the other. “I don’t think you can call the cops on the government, which I’m guessing that’s what we are dealing with since they knew how to knock out Michael.”

The government, or more specially it was probably someone related to Project Shepherd. Kyle sighed, holding his phone to his ear. It rang once, before he heard, “What’s wrong?”

He pulled the phone away from his ear to make sure he had called Alex and not the psychic alien sister, “How did you know something was wrong?”

“You’ve called me twice in the last three months, once to tell me you put my dad in a coma and once to tell me about Max. You’re a texter, even though I explained it’s easier to keep things secret if you call. So again, what’s wrong?”

Kyle slowly walked back toward the hospital. He should have volunteered to call Isobel, because this was not going to be easy. “It’s Guerin.”

“Is he okay?” 

“We don’t know. We think someone took him. Liz and I found his truck at the hospital, unlocked. It looks like he got jumped by someone who knows how to incapicitate him.”

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.” 

Kyle wasn’t surprised to see the call disconnected. It was a forty minute drive from the cabin to the hospital if someone followed the speed limits. 

*** 

“It’s Guerin.”

Alex was somewhat aware that he must have replied. He was in his SUV and away from the bunker, before he’d registered that the call had ended. He could only be thankful that today had been a ‘pull day’, rather than a ‘push day.’

Alex could divide his days into two motivations, he either wanted to be as far from town and the chance of running into someone he knew (Michael) or he wanted to be close in case something happened that he could help fix (for Michael). The cabin was isolated enough that only Kyle made the trip from Roswell, but not in recent memory with the pace of lab work and hospital hours. Alex could comfortably avoid reality with his laptop until the second feeling took hold. The Project Shepherd bunker was an easier location to reach Isobel or Liz from when the inviatble call for assisting an intoxicated Michael came. 

Seeing Maria meant seeing Michael in the evening hours, and it was strange to resort to in his post-service life the habit of a decade before; lying and hiding himself in every interaction. His calendar had a weekly reminder to join Liz and Maria at the Wild Pony for a beer, usually scheduled early enough that Michael was still at Sanders working, but late enough that the automated work emergency text to his phone could reliably give him cover for an exit. 

Psychic as she was, Maria always let him go with a pained but relieved look. It wasn’t her fault that he was still in love with Michael. It wasn’t her fault that Michael wasn’t in love with him. Neither he nor Maria had so many friends that they could afford to lose one, but neither was fooling the other that the relationship hadn’t changed in the aftermath of her dating Michael. 

This wasn’t his first go around with unrequited love. 

He’d survived Brendon Urie, and he wasn’t ashamed to have been a sixteen year old pouring over fan meet and greets on livejournal before hitting the road with Rosa to see Panic at the Disco in Albuquerque just after school let for the summer. He might have mapped out Los Angeles coffee shops to busk at after he turned legal and could escape west to be a musician, coffee shops close to Silver Lakes and Encino neighborhoods to be organically discovered by his crush.

He had survived his fourteen year old obsession with Kyle, that lasted until it was safer to love unattainable rockstars versus the childhood friend now high school bully. He could laugh at himself for thinking that Kyle had turned on him because he felt the same way but just didn’t know how to articulate it outside of shoving him against the lockers and jeering at him in gym class. 

Unrequited love that had once been returned was a higher bar to clear than a fan fantasy or a childhood crush, but then the sins Alex carried were deeper and more lasting as well. More than a ruined but now healed hand and a discarded scholarship, he had the murder of Michael’s mother to carry.  He would survive Michael not loving him, he was reasonably sure of it. He wasn’t sure if he would survive something happening to Michael because of the Manes family legacy. 

Someone knowing how to subdue and take Michael pointed to his family’s involvement. 

He didn’t bother with the visitor’s desk at the hospital foyer this time, walking purposefully toward the elevator and wing where Liz’s new lab resided. The door opened to his touch, revealing Isobel hovering anxiously near Liz’s shoulder as she swabbed a syringe. 

“You made good time.” Isobel greeted.

“I hacked the traffic lights.” Alex informed, setting his laptop case on the lab table, and popping the case open. A few keystrokes and he was inside the hospital network and probably breaking a dozen federal laws of privacy. 

Kyle closed the door, and shook his head, “Seriously?”

“No. I was at the bunker.” He brought up the internal security logs, noting visitors and elevator access. “So what do we know?”

“Not a lot,” Liz replied, her gaze fixed on a spread of swabs and slides. “I’m trying to pull as many samples as I can from this syringe so I can analyze it. There looks to be a reservoir of 3 CCs. My original serum required a dose of at least 6 CCs to incapacitate, so whatever they used was more concentrated.”

“Hopefully less lethal,” Isobel observed. “Are you in the hospital network already?”

“Just what’s linked to the internal wifi signals. I’m going to need access to their security office since it appears the actual camera footage is on a closed circuit.”

Kyle pulled out his ID badge, “I can take you there, but how are you going to get the guards to let you look at the footage? I can still call my mom and make this an official police investigation.”

Alex dug into his pockets for a thumb drive, and then turned to Isobel, “I’m hoping you can influence the guard into letting me download the footage. If you can’t, then we will need to bring the sheriff into this.”

Isobel tapped her forehead knowingly, “If I can’t influence the guards to let you in, I can at least make one of them think he left his car unlocked or his coffee pot plugged in.”

“Let’s go then. Michael has been missing for at least an hour.”

Kyle tapped his badge at certain checkpoints, opening the electronic doors as they headed down to the security room. Alex made a mental note to scrub the ID tags once they were done, on the off chance someone was curious about the movements of a doctor who should have been long off duty.

The windowless room was covered in screens and held one guard boredly sipping his coffee while he watched a television show on his phone. There was a chance they didn’t need a psychic to gain access, but it was probably better safe than sorry.

Alex moved quickly after Isobel held the security guard’s mind in hers and slide behind the desk to call up the footage on the parking garage. Mindful of time, he plugged in his drive and started transferring all the raw data from the camera recordings. The antiquated hospital computing system did nothing to soothe the anxiety. 

Long experience working with poor computing power and broken infrastructure while deployed in Iraq was the only thing that kept his inner impatience off his face. Touching the mouse or tapping his fingers never moved data faster. 

Finally the file clicked over complete, he slid back from the bank of monitors, and nodded to Isobel. The security guard took a deep breath and look around briefly before picking up his phone and restarting the television show on his app.

The door clicked shut as the three of them hastened back to Liz’s lab. His hip barked at the hurried extension he placed on his body. With the clock ticking, the discomfort slipped into the box marked ‘to deal with later’. Once the drive was inserted, it was a matter of minutes to set up a scan for vehcile traffic entering and exiting the hospital parking lot. 

Liz dug out a bottle of acetone for Isobel, who accepted it with a small smile and then nodded over to the laptop. “I hope you are having more luck with the security footage, than I am having with this drug.”

“I grabbed everything from the last 72 hours, just in case. It’s possible someone followed Michael to the hospital,” Alex balanced carefully onto the stool, keeping the weight off his prostetic. “I would have found a less populated area for a snatch and grab, but maybe they were worried about Michael’s powers and if so, then likely they scouted the view points of the cameras before they made their move to minimize their exposure. At least that’s what I would have done, if I had discarded the open road or home as possible targets.”

“Well we all know what a paranoid and careful asshole you are, Alex.” Kyle observed, working on a second set of samples. 

“I try not to repeat my mistakes.”

“Like Caulfield?” Isobel asked pointed. 

A sharp stab of pain went through him at the reminder. As if the prison ever left his mind for a moment these days. “Yes, like Caulfield. I should have found a more covert way to gain information than assume it was abandoned. I should have realized my dad had more going on than surveillance on Roswell.”

Kyle touched Alex’s shoulder with a comforting clasp, “At least we know he’s not personally behind this. Master Sergeant's main nurse likes me, she would have called if something had changed.” 

Alex stayed silent, knowing that his next task would be gaining access to the long term rest home in Santa Fe where they had transferred his comatose father after he had attacked Kyle. There had been initial protests regarding the forged records until he had pointed out the other option had been to kill Jesse. 

The classic body Chevy truck flashed on the screen with the timecode marking it as Michael’s arrival at the hospital. Alex paused and marked the frame for reference, then eased through the later clips watching for his exit. There were two cameras concentrated on the parking lot, one at the entrance/exit, and one with a long panoramic view of the lot, primarily to ward off a car thief or would-be mugger. It was grainy in grey scale, but at least he could be thankful that Michael drove such a distinctive truck. The task of finding an unremarkable Honda Prisius would have been daunting.

His hand stilled as he paused the footage on the slow but unmistakable swagger of a figure striding away from the hospital entrance toward the parked Chevy. Michael’s black cowboy hat hid his face but even absent such an identifiable marker Alex was sure could have picked out his body in a sea of others without question. 

Michael reached his truck with no issue, unlocking the driver’s side door. His hand swept off his hat and casually tossed it into the front seat of the cab. Behind him, in the next parking aisle a nondescript panel van, a door opened slid open and a glint peeked out. Michael reached behind his neck, his body half in the truck and slapping at the skin there. 

Alex inhaled sharply, fear and dread rising. It was a terrible thing to watch knowing it had already happened. Two figures dressed in plain dark clothing emerged from the van, and started toward the truck. Michael’s body half fell from the cab, and curled around the front wheel. Alex watched as the two effortlessly brushed off the weak struggles to fight their grasp of Michael’s shoulders, tugging him backward to the waiting van. 

His body was tossed without care into the back, the door sliding shut blocking the last view of Michael. The two men split up from the van, circling around to the front doors. Alex numbly clicked on the frame, saving it, and switched over to the second camera focused on the entrance. 

Watching his brother Flint calmly pay the ticket machine was not much of a surprise at this point. 

“Kyle, I’m going to need you to call your nurse friend to check on my father.” He was proud that his voice was calm and even, despite the rising sickness within. “The good news is, this wasn’t a government issued black ops team that took Michael.”

“And the bad news?” Isobel prompted.

“It was personal, which means they aren’t as invested in keeping him alive.”

* * * * 

[Isobel details their mental bond. That it feels blank]

“I was always closer with Max. I don’t know if it was a twin thing or being raised together, but Michael was always harder to connect with until recently. We’ve been practicing so much together, he started to take up a bit of space here, “ she patted her chest. “Not enough to fill the void where Max was, but enough that I could tell if he was happy or if he was angry. Strong emotions only came through. Lately it was a lot of anger but he wouldn’t tell me what was going on… “

“And now? Do you feel him now?”

Tears filled her eyes and she shook her head. “It’s empty. Blank. Like it was when we kids before he moved back to Roswell. I think he’s still alive, but he feels very far away, or very weak.”

[Alex waits patiently for the call. He thinks this is going to be an exchange of Michael for his dad, until he realizes his dad is not at the long-term care facility any more]

[Round table discussion at Max’s house to figure out what Jesse wants. Isobel finds out more about the shared past of Michael and Alex- and Maria shows up at the end looking for Michael]

“It’s been 2 days, why hasn’t your dad called with his demands? Is he not reading from the classic villain script this time?” Isobel wondered bitterly. “What is with your family, Alex?”

Kyle injected, “We don’t know that Sergant Manes is involved.”

“Don’t we? He disappeared from the nursing home just before Michael was taken. It seems pretty convenient timing to me.”

Alex pressed his fingers under his eyelids to relieve the building pressure. It had been a long two days of nothing after he received the call that the psuedonmyn he had checked his dad in unrder was no longer a patient in the long-term coma ward in Sante Fe. The staff was calling it a miracle that just after a devoted son had prayed at his bedside, he had woken up. Alex knew it was anything but divine intervention to have Jesse awake and free in the world. 

“Isobel is right, this has Dad written all over it. Somehow Flint found out what had happened and woke him up. It’s been two days because I’m guessing he is still weak from the inactivity.”

Liz stirred from her claimed spot on the couch, cracking an eyelid. “What makes you think there’s going to be a demand, Isobel? Manes has what he wants, a new alien to test and torture. If you look at the research side of things, the aliens in Caulfield were all weak and elderly, and Michael’s a healthy 28 year old. Whatever fucked up weapon he was developing might need a younger test subject.”

“Now there’s a comforting thought.” Kyle muttered. 

“I don’t think it’s research. This still feels personal to me. Michael still has an offensive power to defend himself with, the softer target would have been Isobel if he just wanted an alien to grab.”

“Gee, thanks Alex. Come closer and I’ll show you what I’ve been working on and see if you think I’m still a soft target after I turn your skull into crushed bone.”

***

Alex’s fingers were numb, as he pressed in his code to access his Whatsapp account. Waiting in his inbox was an unknown number and a video attachment. He abruptly dropped into the deck chair as the video opened to his worst fear made real.

Michael’s left eye was swollen shut, blood staining from the corner of his forehead, dripping down his cheek bone. His arms were stretched high above his head, disappearing out of frame. His shirt was missing, and there were sluggishly wounds striping over his shoulder and licking across his collar bone. 

The camera turned, Michael blurring out of view. The monster that starred in seventy percent of his nightmares filled the screen. “Hello, Alex. I was hoping to keep you out of this, son, but this creature is being very uncooperative.” 

Off screen, he heard a weak, “Go fuck yourself, Manes. I keep telling you, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jesse nodded to someone out of frame, and Michael screamed in agonizing pain. Long hiccuping gasps for air puncuated another softer, “fuck you.”

“Like I said, uncooperative. When we last saw each other, you had something that belonged to me. Jim Valenti stole it from our base, and refused to tell me what he had done with it despite my best efforts at persuading him.” 

Michael cried out again, choking on a soft sob. Alex forced himself to watch, drinking in every detail for his later plans. 

“With N-38 gone, I can’t hurt this thing the same way I did dear old Jim so I’ve had to get creative. Electricity just makes some of them stronger, but good old heat and sharp still work on them. We both know you can break its bones with enough force.” Jesse turned, pointing the camera toward Michael again, focusing on the dangling bare feet. “There are more bones per square inch in the foot, than anywhere else in the body. I am telling you this so you don’t doubt my resolve. This thing is relatively harmless for its kind, and I’m willing to return it to you in more or less good condition, if you bring me what Valenti stole. Let me know what you decide to do.”

The video cut off. 

****

There was an expected role to play, like there always was when Jesse Manes was involved. Once it meant peppering his speech with ‘yes sir’ and ‘sorry sir’ and toning down his clothing in hopes of escaping his fists, and when that proved futile, it went in the opposite direction with makeup, nail polish, and piercings.

For all of his proud talk about the service, his father never served anywhere but stateside. His knowledge of tactical defense and enemy counter measures were likely twenty years of date, and Alex was counting on his father’s pride from keeping him unaware of the technology shift. The set up of the Project Shepherd bunker confirmed that.

He tucked his personal side arm into his thigh holster, securing to his left leg and reached for his secondary weapon to slip into his boot strapped to his prosthetic. The weight of the kevlar and vest registered briefly on his shoulders before it slipped into the blank shroud that had enveloped him as soon as he heard Michael’s cries. Knives and a pair of percussive grenades weighed down each side of his pockets.

A floorboard behind him creaked, his gun cleared the holster before his mind caught up on who would have followed him to his cabin. It was a little concerning that the sound of a vehicle hadn’t registered until now.

“Whoa, don’t shoot.” Kyle lifted his hands, halting abruptly.  He took in the dark clothing, combat hardware and the array of weapons spread on the cabin’s table. “I guess we are going full cliche today, good to know.”

Alex dropped his arm away, resecuring his gun. “Then you know what I’m going to say already.”

“Humor me, then. This is a trap, Alex.”

“I’m well aware.” Alex flipped open a black case and pulled out his phone and laptop. Carefully he pulled out three silver discs, and a pair of jeweler’s glasses. He sat down in the chair, slipping the glasses on to peer down at the discs. “I’m going anyway.”

Kyle sighed, aggrieved. “Well I did promise Guerin if he got his ass kidnapped by the government, I would come to his rescue.”

Alex didn’t look up from his work, pressing a small pin on each disc. “You’re not going with me, Kyle.”

“I know this face is distractingly handsome, but tell me you remember all the time we spent on the range together as kids. I can shoot a gun.” 

“Shooting a paper target is different from shooting at a human being.” Each disc beeped softly, then went silent. He pulled the glasses off with a satisfied smirk, “Besides, I need you to come with the cavalry. These are military grade GPS trackers that I’ve linked to my laptop and my phone. Once my father sees I’m there without the piece of the ship, he’ll take me to Michael so he can teach me a lesson.”

“What makes you think your dad won’t find these trackers?”

“I’m sure he will, but I’ve got a back up plan on that as well. My father has underestimated me my entire life. He thinks I am weak, that my emotions and desires cloud my judgment. He’s going to see he was wrong.”

“Alex.” Kyle hesitated, struggling for a moment before taking a seat at the table. He gently laid his hand on Alex’s wrist, stilling the other man. “We all want Guerin back safe but I want you to consider for a moment that your father is right, that your emotions are clouding your judgment. Because what I’m seeing right now is kind of freaking me out, dude. You’re dressed from head to toe in black ops murder gear with GPS trackers, which I didn’t even know you could buy, talking about going in alone, guns blazing, against your dad.”

“I got them on Ebay.”

“That’s what you’re choosing to focus on?”

“What are my other options, Kyle? He’s got Michael. He’s had him for two days, and there is exactly zero chance he doesn’t want both the UFO fragment and Michael.” Alex wrenched his hand away,. He inhaled deeply and pushed down the swell of thoughts of what had already happened to Michael in two days.

“I agree, but back when I laid him out with barbiturates in our bunker, you and I had a discussion about killing him. I seem to remember we decided against that.”

“No, Kyle, you decided against it and I went along with it. Which was clearly a mistake. This has been a long time coming, okay? He brought this on himself when he took Michael.”

“I knew there was no talking you out of this. I just don’t want you to do this alone.”

* * * 

The lights were all on at the formerly known as Evans-Bracken residence, now just Evans. 

“You look like you’re ready to storm the castle.” Isobel commented, before pushing the door open and turning back into the house. “I still haven’t felt anything from Michael. He could be dead, and all of this would be pointless.”

Alex winced and acknowledged the point before pushing the thought down. “He’s not dead.”

“How do you know? Your so-called cosmic connection?” She sipped from the glass in her hand, the scent of chemicals wafted to him. It was clearly not water.

Gently he wrapped his fingers around her hand, guiding the glass away before resting it on the table next to him. “Maybe, but in reality, if he was dead, my father would have taken someone else as leverage and he would have taunted me with my failure to protect Michael.”

****

[ So as you can see it needs a massive rewrite to fix my characterization- but I still like the plot of Jesse taking Michael for the ship piece- especially since the show fumbled on this so badly in 2x10-2x11. ]

[skrtl]

It could have been worse, I mean

This show does know how to makes us work with “at leasts”

At least we had some Kylex and both of them deserved that great short convo

At least we have Kyle, who is so so so amazing, I can’t find words in English right now for how much I love this character who deserved so much better this season

At least we have Gregory Manes, I LOVE HIM A WHOLE BUNCH he’s so proud of his little brother and I am so proud of him!!!!!!!

At least we had Jenna and Charlie!!!!

At least Alex can start working on himself (until at least s3 when showrunner destroys that again)

At least I love Rosa. That’s it. I just love her for no reason

AT LEAST ALEX EXISTS AND THIS IN ITSELF IS WORTH THE WHOLE CRAP I HAVE HANDLED THIS WHOLE SEASON

[pastelwitchling]

SEQUEL PROMPTS ARE CLOSED.

This prompt is a sequel to this (Chapter 122).

TW: Possessive behavior.

Congrats on reaching 700, I love your blog so much your one of my favorite rnm people to follow!!!! I was wondering, if you want, would you be able to do a sequel to the Michael finding out max has feelings for Alex fic you did. I loved that story and the feels it gave me, lol.

***

Max had no idea how hard it would be to avoid Alex until he was actively trying to.

He couldn’t believe it. Before Christmas, he almost never saw the guy, now it was like the universe was having them run into each other every few hours. But Max had to keep away, because he’d figured out his problem.

This infatuation with Alex, it was just misplaced fondness, that was all. He liked having a friend who he could talk to about novels, who understood how it felt to be a leader, to have that need to protect the people he loved, who could make him laugh just by looking him in the eye. And in his heartbreak over his separation from Liz, he’d misconstrued that desire for friendship into something more.

Max had felt like a genius with that revelation, determined to simply stay away from the airman for a while, just until his heart stopped doing that pesky thing where it jumped in his chest at the mere sight of Alex. Of course, he quickly realized that when his brother was so in love with the airman, and that when Michael and Alex had some kind of weird magnetism that kept them in one another’s orbit, and when they needed Alex’s help for virtually every other thing, staying away from Alex was next to impossible.

So now? Now Max was standing across Alex in his Air Force uniform, a table separating them (strategically, of course, Max was no idiot) as the airman pointed out entrance and exit points on a blueprint of another Project Shepherd facility he suspected had valuable alien technology.

“I’ve been working on hacking the security footage, but as the place is meant to be top secret, there’s very little material to work with.” With a glance at Kyle who nodded encouragingly, Alex smirked. “But we’re getting close.”

“This is bound to tell us something about our past,” Isobel said. “Some of that material from the barn fire must’ve been preserved. I can’t imagine it being destroyed.”

“When it was meant to withhold the pressure and temperature of outer space? No,” Alex reassured her. “I know my family saved it somewhere, and I have a feeling it’s there.” He pointed at the blueprint again, his touch a little rough, and Max leaned in slightly.

“Well, if anyone’s going to save what’s left of our pods, it’ll be you, Alex. We trust you.”

That was probably the wrong thing to say, Max realized too late as Michael glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes, but as Alex’s expression seemed to brighten, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

Even after everything Alex had done for them, after everything he was risking, he still talked about himself as if he was an enemy that they were keeping on tight watch, and that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Alex was their hero, their only light and hope in a crap-ton of misery and fear – how did he not know that? How did he not know how grateful they all were to him, how much they all owed him?

Then Max caught his brother’s narrowed his eyes, and realized he’d been smiling to himself at the thought of Alex. He cleared his throat and dimmed his expression as Kyle began rolling up the blueprint.

“Alex and I will get to work on the symbols,” Michael said, his arms still crossed. Max noticed his brother was still watching him. “If we stay overnight, we should be done in a few days.”

“Guerin, he needs rest,” Kyle was barely saying before Alex was nodding.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured his friend. “I’ll finish at the base in a few hours, and come back here.”

Michael nodded, shot his brother another look, and walked off to the bunker door. Max took that as his cue to leave, too, but before he could, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Alex was smiling kindly at him. “Hey, I wanted to thank you.”

Max blinked, unconsciously taking a step back. “Th – uh – thank me?”

“Yeah,” Alex chuckled. He pulled a small book out of his back pocket. “Journaling was a great idea. It really helped me get a lot out. So, you know, thank you.”

“Oh yeah?” Max felt a grin pull at his lips. Then he glanced over his shoulder at where Michael still stood, his smile fell, and he crossed his arms. “You, you know, look better. C-calmer, I mean.”

Max supposed it was too much to hope that Alex hadn’t noticed his covert looks to his brother. He was an Air Force captain after all, wasn’t it his job to notice everything?

Alex followed his gaze, and his own smile fell, too. “He said something to you, didn’t he?”

Max opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. He considered lying, but Alex’s eyes were so full of light despite the rigidness of his shoulders, the small upward lilt of his lips so sad that Max couldn’t help but think that between the Manes family and Michael, the last thing Alex deserved was to be lied to again.

“He . . . loves you . . . very much,” he said slowly, picking his words out carefully. He might’ve expected Alex to scoff, to look annoyed, to be angry.

But the airman only looked down, his eyes shut, a look of utter resignation on his face. He knows, Max thought miserably. He knew how Michael felt for him, how possessive the cowboy was, and he knew that there was no way Michael was ever going to let anybody near him. He knew, and for a moment, he’d hoped that Max was different. But the curse of being loved by someone who didn’t want to be with him was stronger than ever, apparently, because not even Michael’s brother had a chance. And Alex would be destined for loneliness until the day Michael decided he’d truly moved on.

Alex lifted his head, a soft, sad smile at his lips. He nodded, as if to say he understood what Max wanted so desperately to say, and he walked past him, stuffing his journal back into his pocket.

Max stared at the place where Alex had been standing, unable to turn around even as the door to the bunker shut, echoing throughout the cold place. The place Alex had spent all of his time working to give Max, Michael, and Isobel all the answers they were looking for.

“You okay?” Michael asked, and Max shut his eyes a moment, silently asking for strength, before he turned around.

“He’s miserable,” Max said as calmly as he could. Michael’s frown deepened. “Would you just tell him how you feel? Because the guilt is starting to get to me.”

Michael looked over his shoulder as if to make sure Isobel and Kyle were too busy with each other, and when he turned back to his brother, his gaze was serious. “Don’t say stuff like that out loud.”

“Why?” Max shook his head. “Afraid someone will hear you and tell Alex? News flash, Michael; we all know you love Alex. Alex knows you love Alex, and it’s killing him!”

“Why do you care?” Michael asked after a moment of being unable to answer Max’s question. “What does it matter to you how Alex feels?”

“Because he’s helping us,” Max defended.

“So it’s nothing to do with what you wrote about him?” he said, suspicion clear in his expression.

Max stared. “You’re never going to stop punishing me, are you? You’re never going to forget about that stupid poem –”

“Yeah, I’m not, because I know you, Max,” he said savagely, “and you only write about what matters. And now you look at Alex like you – like he means something to you –”

“He does,” Max cut him off, and Michael turned still.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means . . . it means . . .” he shook his head. “It means I know what he is to you, and I know that you love him, I do, but that love is only making the both of you miserable, so either fix things with Alex, or . . .”

“Or what?” Michael’s voice lowered as he stepped closer to Max. Max could feel the ground vibrating. Michael was losing control. “Or what, Max?”

Max probably should’ve taken it all back, told Michael that it meant nothing, that he would do nothing. But then Alex came to mind, the way he’d looked down as if he’d known that here was one more person that didn’t think him worth fighting for. One more person that didn’t think he mattered.

Max’s gaze didn’t waver this time. “Or I’m going to get in between you, for your own good.”

Michael’s eyes flared, and Max was vaguely aware of Isobel and Kyle holding onto the table as the ground shook harder. They were startled, calling Michael’s name, trying to get him to stop. But they had no idea. Michael wouldn’t stop now, he didn’t have control, not when it came to Alex Manes.

“You wouldn’t. Not Alex.”

Max stepped closer, his voice barely over a whisper. “If you’re going to kill Alex, then somebody has to save him. Or you’ll never forgive yourself.”

“Michael, Max, what’re you guys doing?!” Isobel yelled as the bunker shook violently.

“This isn’t about protecting me,” Michael spat. “This is about your crush on him, and knowing that he’d never choose you over me!”

Max searched his brother’s face. “Why didn’t you choose him, Michael?”

Michael froze, the ground suddenly stopped shaking, and for a moment, it felt like the whole world had turned silent and still.

               “You can’t answer, can you?” Max asked, and Michael pursed his lips. To Max’s shock, his brother’s eyes filled with tears, but instead of giving him a response, Michael gave him a hollow smirk and turned to leave.

               “Max,” Isobel started tentatively a long moment after Michael slammed the door behind him. “What the hell was that?”

               “Wait a second,” Kyle shook his head, his brows furrowed. “You like Alex now?”

               When Max didn’t answer, Isobel pressed, “Do you?”

               Max caught his sister’s eyes, but said nothing. It doesn’t matter, he almost answered. Because Alex loved Michael, and Michael loved Alex, and now that his brother was threatened with losing Alex, he would do the right thing. He would confess his feelings to Alex, he would do everything in his power to keep the airman close.

               He would hate Max forever, it was true, but at least – at least – both Michael and Alex would be happy. That was something.

[youchangedme]

I have to ask you your opinion on these Roswell characters to see if our thoughts aline. Rosa, Kyle, Michael, Maria

actually in love with rosa, she's probably my favorite character in the entire show and i would like amber midthunder to know that i am free to hang out after the pandemic if she wants to hang out after the pandemic when im free

kyle is good and i forgive him for his high school homophobia past. roswell is just Like That so i understand, and admire that he not only grew past it but gave an actual apology for it and also told off jesse manes

i feel like miss showrunner wanted michael to be dean winchester so bad, but it just doesn't work bc she has none of the depth. i think that vlamis does a good job portraying him though and he was my favorite character when i watched the pilot. but overall his character has regressed for me and everything he did in s2 seemed to piss me off

maria deserves better than to be one point in a love triangle. i think she had a cool plot being introduced with her mom and then they just ignored it in favor of making the audience hate her for "breaking up" michael and alex. i think they write her in a way that makes her seem like a bad friend and it makes me mad but what's new? the cw writing woc poorly certainly isn't