#all I want is to see Thony give you a hug

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x10 thoughts

The main things: 

The ep starts immediately after last ep, then goes to the next morning and takes place over just one day. Nadia also says it’s been ‘an eventful few weeks’ since she made the deal to buy the house (which was in 3x01, so the entire season has taken place over around 3 weeks)

One of my favourite things about this series, and about Thony specifically, is that she’s not only an unintentional angel of death for the people around her, but also for criminal empires?? Literally this show is full of seasoned criminals who thrived for years in the darkest parts of the Vegas underworld, and then they encounter Thony, and boom! Down they go. Hayak. Cortes. Kamdar. (Even Arman, in a slightly different way). And now it looks like Sin Cara is next… honestly the Feds should be falling at her feet in gratitude haha 

Lol at Thony and Fi’s little bit of theatre for Jeremy as they set up their own little ‘sting’ for him. Thony actually nearly breaking and laughing at Fi’s ranting for a second was so cute, because while this is a serious situation, it is a bit bizarre to think that this is what their life has become. And this scene was so worth it just to get to watch two skilled actors having to pretend to be bad at acting… moments like this are always fun, like a kind of act-ception haha. Ngl it’s a good thing that Thony confronts Jeremy by the end of the episode though, bc I doubt it would have taken much longer for him to notice something was up, with all the dramatic conversations happening right in front of his bugs while and other conversations were hushed under the cover of super loud TV/music. Not to mention the suspiciously intentional-looking plumbing emergencies lol (seriously Thony?? A hammer??? lol).  To be fair though, Fi’s acting did improve a lot by the end, with their clever little ploy to make Jeremy think Thony was on her way to kill Nadia. That entire sequence was done well– even though anyone who has been watching the show for more than like a week would know that Thony would never kill Nadia (at least while literally any other option existed), it was still enjoyable to experience the ‘suspense’ that the creative team set up regarding Nadia’s fate. I just hope that she can make it through the finale… 

Honestly I love the deliberate continued theme in this show of Thony being caught between worlds, and the constant push and pull of ‘good vs evil’ and ‘power vs vulnerability’. It’s why, despite all her efforts, she can never quite escape the criminal world, and she can never quite escape the hold of the FBI either. And they’re often tied up together, too– to protect herself or someone she cares about from one, she reaches out to the other. In late s1, Arman helped protect her from the FBI by agreeing to be an informant, and in turn she was part of the plan to protect him from both the FBI and Hayak. In S2, she agrees to inform for the FBI again in order to protect Arman and keep him out of prison. And now, she’s making that same deal– and risking her own safety– but for Nadia this time. To me, though, I think that she’s reached a kind of ‘fool me once’ situation with the FBI, and though she says she’s going to help then take down Sin Cara, I think she is actually going to be following her own agenda, and using the ties she has to both the cartel and the FBI to manipulate them into taking each other out, and leaving her being the only one left standing. And god I hope that’s where things are headed bc I would be so here for it.

I really wish we’d been able to see a lot more of Thony and Nadia’s relationship this season, because it’s so compelling and complex and I’ve loved every moment they’ve shared so far. Nadia’s “oh no” at seeing Thony walking into the club was hilarious; they haven’t seen each other in the week or so since the wake, but Thony showing up at the club looking deathly serious is never a good sign. I loved that they were immediately like ‘ok bye Jorge the grownups need to talk’ tho lol– he may have formed connections with both of them, but he hasn’t gotten to this level of club membership yet. Thony’s first question to Nadia (“Did you cut a deal with the feds?”) felt like an interesting tie-in to the events of earlier eps, given that it was exactly what Nadia asked her at the wake– tbh these two must feel like they’re on a merry-go-round or something, and it’s all because they just haven’t been completely open with one another!!! But finally, here, they’re starting to be, even if it’s too goddamn late now (*adele voice* we could have had it aaaaaalll). But anyway ughhhh “All I wanted was to find Arman, like you. I wanted to protect him.” Honestly Nadia acknowledging/accepting Thony’s genuine love of Arman has been one of the parts of this season that I have appreciated the most. These two women are bonded by that love, which is why Thony telling Nadia she should have come to her is such a punch in the gut, because you can see her pain and regret, her utter dismay at the fact that her preoccupation with her own family (getting Fi and Chris back, preventing Luca from being taken away) led her to overlook what was going on with Nadia– aka with Arman’s family– and now she has let down the only other person Arman truly loved. And I think she went to La Habana fully intending to warn her, but then it became clear that Nadia wouldn’t listen to her even if she did try to pose the fake-death plan (“You always think you know everything. But you don’t”), and would’ve almost certainly tried to run instead, endangering both of them. So instead Thony tries once more to talk Ramona out of it (unsuccessfully, of course), and ugh when she says she wants to take care of Nadia herself “For Arman” and she squeezes her eyes shut as she says his name… the grief of losing him is still so goddamn fresh and now she’s terrified she’s going to fail him by not being able to save Nadia in time. But that’s the thing about Thony– she never gives up on the people she loves. And because of Arman, that group includes Nadia. 

Nadia’s reaction to Thony striding straight into her house (literally how does Thony even know where that is?) is so funny bc she doesn’t even get angry, it’s just like mild exasperation as she tries to convince Thony to leave. That is, until her brain catches up and suddenly she just stops and says “What’s happening?” because she knows Thony, knows that she wouldn’t actually barge in like this without a damn serious reason. When Thony tells her the danger she’s in, she believes her immediately (ugh her panic was hard to watch) and immediately begs for Thony to help– because while they may have a complex relationship, she knows that Thony is the only person she has left who actually cares what happens to her, and she also knows that Thony is clever and capable and holds a surprising amount of power, and often does manage to fix things even when a situation seems impossible. Which is exactly what Thony does next– and while I wish that Thony had explained to Nadia about what she was going to do, so Nadia didn’t have to have those brief moments of terror and betrayal before she lost consciousness, I get that it had to be written this way or it would have spoiled the twist. But oh man, even though I knew  Thony wouldn’t kill her and that she was going to be fine, the relief at seeing her wake up on that couch was still so damn real, phew. Eva did an amazing job with Nadia’s emotions on waking up, from utter confusion to a mix of relief, gratitude and anger. The scene between her and Thony in Jeremy’s lair felt like it was cut off midway through, which I guess means that they’re going to pick up exactly where they left off in the finale next week, like this was actually a 3-part finale rather than a 2 parter, and I can’t wait to see more of the Nadia/Thony dynamic next week.

And given my love for both Nadia and Thony, gotta say I do love how much Ramona herself has shown genuine admiration for both women, for their competence, intelligence, determination, fortitude, their coolness under pressure, and their desire for power. (Like in her conversation with Ramona, Thony would always deny that desire, but tbh people who want a simple family life do not become cardiac surgeons. Much like being a cartel leader, it’s a profession that provides money, prestige, authority, and a near-godlike ability over life and death– ergo, power). Anyway, Ramona’s entire art collection, her life, is centred around women with those traits, and tbh in another life I think these three incredible women could have become an unbeatable team that ruled Vegas together. Ramona saw that possibility and tried to make it happen, only for both of them to reject her, and now… well, I think we are heading for a ‘this town ain’t big enough for the both of us’ situation, and lbr it’s going to be Thony that’s the one left standing

Honestly I love that I have written a bunch of words already for this ep, and it’s all been about women– that’s one of the true gifts of this show, how much it focuses on women and their stories and their relationships. In the earlier seasons it was mostly just focused around Thony and Fi’s characters, but after the loss of Adan, and having a female villain for a change (two if you count Russo), the focus on women has definitely expanded and been even more apparent this season. I’m sad that it’s looking unlikely that Ramona or my baby Nadia will return next season, because they deserved to have more of their story told. Still, I’m clinging to the hope that Nadia may somehow return, and I’ll get more of the amazing Thony & Nadia dynamic that we all deserve

Anyway I guess I could talk about a boy now– though given that he is literally surrounded by women in his life, Jorge is an honorary girl to me lol. It was cute to see him so excited about all the hotel stuff, from his big spiel to Nadia to all the proposal materials in his office– looks like he’s finally found his own path, not just the one Ramona chose for him. (Though holy shit it’s so messed up that the corporate world is literally the best place to hide illegal activity, wow). I found it hilarious that when Jorge was trying to sell Nadia on the hotel idea and saying all this stuff about how she’ll be the face of it etc, the picture very clearly shows he’s planning to call it ‘JS hotel’ lol. So she’s the face but it’s named after you?? Hmmm. Also geez he laid it on a little thick with the flattery there, but I guess it worked, because you could see how smitten she was with the hotel idea. And I can understand how some people might interpret that as her being smitten with him, but I genuinely don’t think so. First of all, she lost the man she loved literally like a week and a half ago; there’s no way that she has even the slightest inclination to look at anyone romantically right now. Plus, the show has already established that she’s incredibly good at reading people. She knows he’s trying to manipulate her in order to access her money, but in her life, that’s just a demonstration of good business skills. She sees what working with him can give her, and she wants it. In S1 she says to Arman “What do we own? Nothing”-- I think it’s hugely important to her character to actually be in possession of something big, to be the owner, not just the manager, to remove herself as far from the powerless girl from the Argentinian slums as she can. Anyway I love that one of his arguments is that she’ll be ‘set for life’ if they do this… because apparently already having 50 million dollars isn’t being set for life??? Man, what a world they live in haha. Anyway with it seeming unlikely that Nadia will be around next season, I wonder if the hotel will still somehow happen in S4? Maybe somehow Thony gets involved with it, though I don’t really see her wanting any part in something like that… tbh my main concern is that we might not get to see the La Habana set next season :(

Seeing Jeremy’s reaction to being burned was so satisfying. Not so clever now, are you, buddy?? Got outsmarted by a civilian just like Garrett did, and now you’ll be working with her, just like Garrett… but unlike Garrrett, she has zero regard or sense of obligation toward you, and so you may think she’s gonna work with you and follow your orders, but think again. She’s just going to bide her time until she has you right where she wants you, and then she will completely fuck you over, because you betrayed her family and took the man she loves, and that’s what you deserve. Be grateful if you walk out of all of this alive. 

Other stuff:

Omg Fi going for the baseball bat to take out the smoke alarm. Someone has issues with impulsivity haha. Tbh her and Thony’s entire relationship is just the two of them taking turns holding each other back from doing something stupid and I love it

Ugh seeing Nadia standing all alone in that huge empty house, talking about how it’s time to put the past behind her and have a fresh start… and then later saying to Jorge that she just wants to be free… and then Thony telling her at the end that she’s free and she tells Thony that she took her whole life form her… ugh stop giving me stressful foreshadowing here writers. If Nadia has to go, write her out by having her run away into the sunset with her millions. Don’t make me watch her die twice!!!!!!!!!

I didn't initially remember seeing Ramona and Russo cross paths at La habana, but @gsue74 reminded me that they glimpse each other across the club the first time Ramona goes there, and Ramona noticed the way Nadia reacted to her arrival. Well done of the writers to plant that in 3x04 to come back up now. Anyway I do enjoy Russo’s sassiness though. It was never super obvious before bc she was always having to play the serious one keeping Garrett in line, but I think I see why they got along lol

Oh boy the agent that scared Violeta really fucked up lol, like maybe don’t piss off a super powerful cartel leader??? Dude’s gonna be feeding the fishes in the Hoover Dam in no time lol

 I love that the proposed hotel site is completely in the middle of nowhere, like too bad if the guests want to visit any other part of Vegas haha. Though I guess that might be entire point, to make it like a one-stop shop so guests will spend all their time and money in the one place lol

JD is such a cutie. Loved him taking advantage of a free weekday to bring thoughtful gifts for his bae. Lol at Fi shutting him up with a kiss– she really needs to go somewhere private and tell him everything though, bc he needs to know so he doesn’t inadvertently screw things up for them again. 

I really felt for Fi when she found the immigrant worker house empty– this show is always full of painful near-misses in terms of timing, but at least in this case there’s still the hope that Thony will be able to use her sway over Jorge to find Camila and Gisele

Anyway ugh the promo for the finale looks so good… Nadia at Thony’s house, wearing borrowed clothes while Thony makes a plan to get her her money back… Jorge apparently being there too and helping them… Thony in a fancy dress, shooting a gun… it might be Ramona’s assassin guy that she shoots (one of the clips looks like he could be fighting with Jeremy) but man it would be cool if it was actually Ramona or Jeremy that she shoots, and honestly I’m so down for either of those options. Maybe she even does it to protect one of them from the other– like maybe she shoots Ramona to save Jeremy, which would mean she’d probably get pardoned by the FBI for everything. Or she shoots Jeremy to save Ramona, making Ramona extremely grateful, and as a result Ramona makes sure the shooting never ties back to her, and brings her into Sin Cara in a position of power…. Either way it’s going to make for an interesting S4!  

[the1northlanderprincess]

All in at last! Episode 1x05 review

I’ll get to the Armony stuff in a second. But, first, I want to address the real issue of tonight’s episode. If I didn’t, I’d be heartless. This is the first show that I’ve seen that has dealt with ICE and what goes on, but tonight’s episode had a lot more of a human aspect, and I appreciate that. It is truly terrible what goes on there. I can only hope things will change.

Okay, so we only had two scenes with Thony and Arman (grrr, Garrett....grumble grumble), but whew....what lovely tidbits we got!

In the bar scene, Arman is trying to decompress after he has been blindsided by Hayak’s decision. He sees Thony cleaning, and she makes a comment, then he invites her to drink with him. After she accepts, he has a sly little smile, pleased. She sits down and they cheers and downs the drink, making Arman laugh and smile, TRULY smile, since the first episode. It’s a beautiful sight. She hints at the obvious tension in the hotel, and he tells her how he really feels about his position, and says that he got to do something (that dialog...CALLED IT). Then he excuses himself for being rude considering her circumstances, and asks about Luca. Thony smiles and says he’s good. Next Arman asks about Luca’s overall mental and emotional wellbeing. Thony tells him that Luca is just a happy-go-lucky kid like any at his age. But Arman dismisses it, saying that Luca is just that amazing. This strikes a chord with Thony and she begins to look uncomfortable. Arman knows that she isn’t just here for a visit and prompts her for what her business really is. She takes the necklace off and puts it in the candle, which shocks him. And she spills about the FBI and ICE. Arman freezes, and credit to him for not losing it right away (side note: Adan’s expressions were STELLAR in this scene). Thony tells him that she doesn’t want to hurt him, and he nods with a gulp, though he looks livid. I think he does that because he knows it deep down. He proceeds to go all smashy-smashy, and yells at her to get out. I knew I said that the office scene in 1x03 reminded me of the BatB scene where Beast yells at Belle, but I take that back. That was what happened in this scene in the bar. Thony is absolutely terrified, but she is also incredibly upset with herself for hurting Arman. She cares a lot about him more than she’s willing to admit.

In the second scene, Thony is summoned by Arman. She gives him a grateful and apologetic half-smile. He gets down to business right away, telling her to sit down, and he folds his arms as he towers over her as he questions her. It’s a stark contrast from the earlier scene, where they’re sitting as equals. He’s again asserting his position as her boss in this scene. When he sees that she’s telling him the truth, he relaxes and tells her the truth about what Hayak does. He gives her the laptop and she is surprised, and gives him a questioning look. Arman sits on the edge of the desk and leans down and gently tells her to look at him. He says he will work with her, but he decides what info to give the FBI. His posture still gives him the power over her, but he is coming to her level.

Arman could have easily threatened Thony’s life after he found out the truth. However, like Thony, I think he cares about her more than he realizes. Next week, we’ll likely see it come to the surface in the scene we’ve all been anxious to see. I bet you anything it will be the final scene of the episode. I’m guessing Thony will fail at getting the organ, and she is worried that it will be her last resort for saving Luca. She will willingly go into Arman’s arms (maybe he softly asks her to “come here”), and he hugs her. When they part, that is when the moment of realization comes. The episode will either end with a small but passionate kiss, or her diverting away from him leaning in, and running out of his office, and he has an "oh crap" look. It does look like in the clip of him tracing his thumbs on her face that he's about to say something, just because it looks like his mouth is moving, or he's taking in a breath.

Right now, I’m 70/40 on a kiss happening. But either way, I. Am. PUMPED

[antandjas]

341

Is this too late to post? Oh well! A conversation @jan-thony​ and I had inspired this little snippet!

341. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

————

“Oh wow, Jasmine you look amazing!” 

Jasmine turned around, the dress swishing as she did. Every inch of the skirt moved along with her every time she moved. Sarah moved around her, fixing the bunched up parts of her dress. 

Pippa, Renée, and Stephanie all stood around her too, their bouquets in their hands already. 

Jasmine’s didn’t know she could be this happy. Her heart filled just with her best friends standing around her. 

“He’s gonna die when he sees you in that. I’m serious, he might pass out.” Pippa chimes in and leans forward to fix a piece of fluff in Jasmine’s hair. 

Before Jasmine can respond, the door opens and all of the girls huddle around her, scared that it’s Anthony trying to come in and see her before the ceremony.

“Oh relax girls, Anthony’s not getting in this room.” It’s her mother, all dressed up too and ready for the wedding. “Now let me have a look at you.” 

Jasmine walks over to her and does a little spin, which causes the dress to bunch up again, but she doesn’t care because it gets her mom to laugh.  

“All grown up and getting married, well, your dad wants to see you before it all starts.” Kim gives her a huge hug, squeezing extra tight before pulling away. She notices her mom wipe a single tear away before she takes her out into the hallway where her dad is waiting for her. 

Without a word, he pulls her into a hug. 

“My little girl…” He sniffs and Jas sighs. 

“Dad…come on now…”

“No, I get to have this moment too now. Listen, you’re my only child and I need this for myself,” He pauses and pulls away to look at her, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Jasmine, you need to know that.” 

“Dad…stop it, you’re gonna make me cry.” She feels the tears swell up and it takes everything in her not to cry. 

Her dad has a tight but gentle grip on her shoulders, just like he used to do when she was little and he had something really important to tell her. She almost feels like she’s 7-years-old again, just her and her dad. 

“I’m just so happy, this is all I want for you, happiness.” Ron finishes, wiping the tears that have fallen down his face already. 

And that’s enough to make Jasmine start crying too, silent but wet tears stream down her face and she tries to quickly wipe them away too. If she’s a mess now, she can’t imagine what it’ll be like in a few minutes when she’s walking down the aisle.

“Alright, okay, enough waterworks. Just remember, you were my girl first.” Ron says, kissing her temple and giving her another hug. 

Jasmine just laughs, grabbing the tissue that Sarah had quietly handed her from behind, and looped her arm through her dad’s before they made their way down to the ceremony. 

[didthebcsticould-blog]

thirty days of questions;; cassie lang

five;;

what would your character give their life for?

“i’ve got him!”

cassie raced forwards, quickly proving she’d be an amazing alice in wonderland if ever given the chance. she grew as tall as a house, reaching out with both hands to catch her fallen team-mate. grinning down at eli, she remarked, “need a hand?” she was quick to lower him to the ground, the doom-bots (or cheap knock off doom-bots, since the man himself dr doom didn’t seem to be behind the attack) continued to fire at them.

with eli on the ground, cass charged forwards. her hand pulled back, then snapped forwards with the strength her newfound size gave her. the sweeping punch knocked a couple of bots from the air. bam, two more robot dudes out of commission. but there were still plenty more. cassie was tired, and a little sore. those robots could pack a punch when they wanted to. but there was no way she was going to give up. the fight was proving tougher than expected, but cassie didn’t have it in her to just let go or leave. she would fight for what she believed in - and she believed in her friends. they could do this. and if not?

cassie would find a way to finish it. she wasn’t all that selfless a person, she didn’t think. and she kinda thought movies with heroes that sacrificed themselves to be stupid. but she knew that if one of her friends were in danger just now she’d rush right in to take the blow. ( and fuck, if it was her dad she would be even more reckless). these people were her family, and for them she would do whatever it took. 

in a way, she had already given her life for them, she thought - idly tearing apart one of the doombots at giant size, before making her way to kate. she’d given up a NORMAL LIFE to come and do this. her mother and step-father would never get over her being a hero and following her daddy’s footsteps. they loathed superheroes, though at least they had accepted cassie wouldn’t change her mind about this. “you ready?” she sent kate a grin as she began to rapidly shrink, quickly becoming a small dot at the tip of one of kate’s arrows. one arrow, sure to hit it’s mark, would get cassie inside the head honcho robot. they would end this quickly, and show the young avengers meant business.

six;;

what is your character’s greatest asset?

“i don’t think i’m that kind. and i’m not a genius or anything. not like uncle tony, or not like my dad with his electrical engineering skills. i’m no strategist either - not like eli or kate. i’m just me.”

cassie sank back on the grass, watching america stand before her for a second before sitting down by her side soon after. cassie wasn’t one to self-reflect and get all moody about her faults. she was the type that just accepted things, and moved on - or tried harder next time. what she was saying now wasn’t an attempt to garner any pity (she wasn’t sure america would give that, anyways). it was just a few statements she felt were obvious and nothing wrong with that.

“i’m like...” she paused, lying back on the ground and looking up at the sky. she kinda had to squint though, the sun hitting her full on and damn those sun rays were a bitch. but the problem didn’t last long as a pair of sunglasses magically seemed to float before her, then get placed over her eyes. she tilted her head a little, and grinned brightly at her sunglasses benefactor - america chavez. how such awesomeness could be contained in one person, cassie would never know. “thanks!”

she tilted her head to the sky again, trying to regather her train of thought. “i’m like... i don’t know. i’m just ME. i’m pretty good at being direct. i tell it like it is, but i don’t always get what it is. i like to think i’m kind, which is a nice quality. my mum, she says i’m stubborn. i think i’m determined. yeah, determined, that’s a better word. when i put my mind to something, i do it. guess i’m kinda sneaky as well, but maybe it would sound better if i said-- if we called it--”

“taking the initiative?” america remarked, a smirk on her features. and cassie nodded, grinning in reply.

“exactly! taking the initiative! like when i, uh, stole the pym particles and stuff. planning ahead. or not really. i’m not leader material, but i don’t have to be.” she wasn’t the young avengers leader, but maybe cass was part of the glue that held them altogether. “we all bring things to the table. like you with your ability to kick the ass of anyone and be supremely awesome.”

seven;;

what would completely break your character?

cassie sat cross-legged on the chair, watching tony work. or try to work. she didn’t think his heart was in it, even if this was some kind of super-important device. his mind was wandering, she thought - which was rare. maybe her uncle tony couldn’t focus on a lot of things, but it was like his mind was created in a way that let him be so observant and creative and focused when it came to this type of engineering. it was stream-lined. but today he seemed distracted. as was she.

“tony?” she put out his name as a question, spinning a little in the swivel chair. she asked his name, just in case she was wrong and he was super focused. he’d maybe not hear her if he was paying too much attention to his machines, some times she’d had to call out his name several times before getting a reply. but today, only the once was needed.

but now she had his attention she didn’t know what to say. and for a second, she almost burst into tears. cassie managed to keep that inside, but though tears didn’t fall tony surely recognised something was wrong because he was putting down that tiny minuscule wrench that almost looked like a spear she could carry in her ant-size. “i’m fine, i’m fine,” cass was quick to say, but she didn’t sound it. and she wasn’t. why lie to him?

“it’s just-- my dad, he got caught-- he got caught in one of the fights with the syndicate.” and surely tony knew that already. scott wasn’t DEAD (god forbid) but the thought he might have been had scared her so much she hadn’t slept. he’d been injured, but luckily by this point he knew a good doctor. he’d be just FINE, but in cassie’s mind she kept seeing and thinking of ways in which he wouldn’t be. what would happen if he was gone? he had been missing before, and she’d thought him dead - him getting chucked in jail, or going on ant-man missions. he’d always returned safe and sound.

but the other day when she’d turned up at his house, she realised he wasn’t safe. and he was hurt and every time before he had just waited to see her when he was fit and well so she would stop worrying so much.

her arms wrapped around tony tightly in a hug, and though tears still didn’t fall they were building up. “it was so SCARY. i thought-- when i saw the news i recognised that’s where he’d been going. we’d met up, and he was headed out that way. he’d heard something. and when i saw him-- he looked so small. i mean, well, you know what i mean - not small like he’d shrunk. and badly hurt.” she was maybe in her twenties now, but always daddy’s little girl. and cassie could cope with getting hurt herself, and she was perfectly fine in a fit for she had confidence in herself. but she had no defences against her family being hurt. he wasn’t dead, and that was so wonderfully relieving. but cass was becoming more and more aware of the dangers of their situation with each passing day.

eight;;

how does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?

cassie listened to her study-buddies talk, but only partly listened. mostly she just doodled on her notebook, and thought. a slight grin was on her face as she finished her picture - there was little ant-thony. now to add some small ant friends. but--

“you’re like a little kid, lang,” one of her friends teased, taking the book. “and always with the ants.”

“ants are fascinating,” cass remarked, flashing them a smile and tilting back to retrieve her book. the chair itself tilted, leaning back on two legs-- and of course the librarian had to catch her doing that. and fuck, there she went giving her a lecture. it was just a short one, telling her not to be so childish. always with the acting like a kid thing. was that what everyone thought?

she took her book back, making a face at her friend before silently laughing with her and doing impressions of the librarian - miming things, mostly. no need to bring the old bag back because they’d made a happy kind of sound. 

ah, maybe she was childish. that wasn’t EXACTLY what she was going for. she didn’t want her team-mates to think her a little kid anymore, and she didn’t want her parents to think that either. she was truly capable of all of this. of being a student, of being a hero, of being an adult now. she often tried to sound smart, and sometimes it worked. but like her father she had bad sense of timing and too often joked or asked a stupid question at the wrong time.

maybe it wasn’t bad to be seen as a little childish though. cassie liked having some freedom, and in times like this surely it was good to have some fun? to just relax? cass knew how to let go of some of her worries (some of the time) just to play around and get her strength back. so what if people thought her a kid? she knew what she was really capable of. STATURE didn’t let anyone bring her down.

nine;;

what is your character afraid of?

“i’m not five any more dad, i don’t need a night light,” she said, rolling her eyes as she she shrank and entered the tiny little plastic room. at her dads place they’d spent so many hours building a tiny, miniature world that really only the two of them could fully appreciate. they’d found every day things and mucked about to get a new way of using them. such as this tiny electric light - shaped like a tea candle. 

“i’m not afraid of the dark, i don’t need the light on,” she said, punching her dad’s arm playfully. admittedly, the light was rather pretty. it flickered like a real candle would, and if she was being honest she did prefer light to darkness. especially after watching a horror film. was it weird that in a fight with a tonne of bloodshed and shouts she was fine, but stupid jump-scare movies could freak her out so much?

at any rate, no, she really wasn’t afraid of the dark. not anymore. there were other things to fear. she glanced over at her dad, who caught her looking his way. she pulled a funny face, and laughed when he made one in turn, before cass moved into her mini room to relax whilst her dad went and foraged for whatever food he actually had in the house. she watched him leave, and yeah... she knew what she feared. so cliche, so true. losing him. losing any of her family. that would be devastating, it would break her and it was a terrifying thought.

she was also scared of failing her exams and getting lectured by her mum and step-father as well. you know, normal fears. but since her best friends and her father and a few other family members were heroes it was natural to fear them getting hurt. (or deader than just hurt). cassie supposed being KIDNAPPED was also a fear. that had happened to her growing up as well. came with having a heroic dad, and knowing a few heroes. she was just leverage to some heroes - but nah, she wasn’t scared of that any more. that could be pushed away. cass could save herself now. ( and she could totally push away the fear of dying cause her stupid heart didn’t work cause her dad had fixed that ).

 it was okay to be afraid though. in a fight her fear for her friends or father or uncle or whoever made her fight harder. she could use that fear to become stronger and quicker. it was okay to be afraid of losing people or failing things or disappointing her parents... just so long as those fears didn’t take over.

cass sank back in her bed, then immediately got up as her father called out to her. sounding excited. maybe he’d found that chinese take-away menu he’d been trying to find for like an age. a grin on her features, she rushed out their mini world, growing to rejoin the rest of the world at normal height.

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 2x04 recap

Well, I definitely didn’t lie when I said this one was going to be long. Help.

(To anyone who actually makes it through this entire thing, I salute you. I swear I’m going to try to tone it down next week haha).

Ok I’m gonna try and be relatively short and to the point (heh, good f*ckin luck) about all the non-Armony stuff, because oh boy do I have a lot to say about those scenes. Lord.

I would have paid to see Thony and Fi manage to get Mr Motel Moustache (MMM) into that laundry thing lol. Maybe they tipped it on its side and kind of just shoved him in??

Well at least the show is actually continuing to demonstrate Chris experiencing the effects of trauma rather than just brushing it off the way so many shows do, so that’s something?

Lol no Maya, Garrett and Thony are not sleeping together (never ever gonna happen lol, hallelujah), but she is romantically entangled with a mob boss, so you guys do have that in common haha. But oh ok so it was Robert (or one of his lackeys) who hurt Maya?? Also if they have eyes on her 'at all times' how the hell did she manage to come to a FBI agent’s house in broad daylight?

Sigh. Fi. Thony didn’t answer her phone because she was being blackmailed by Garrett, and had to do what he wanted to protect you… though lbr Thony just needs to start telling Fi everything, bc it would solve a lot of problems. Also I’m so stoked that MMM is alive after all, since dealing with a live threat is so much more interesting than dealing with disposing of a body lol 

I honestly wonder how many people Arman has killed. The ones we’ve seen– Jimmy in 1x03, the bald guy in 1x07, and Hayak– were all situations where he didn’t really have a choice; Jimmy stole from Hayak, so killing him was the expected action (plus, it indirectly protected Thony by satisfying Hayak of her loyalty). Then the bald guy was to save his own life, considering he’d have been dead if Hayak found out about him selling the guns, and killing Hayak was obviously self defense. I think those killings he could make peace with (well… maybe not Hayak so much; I desperately want him to break down to Thony about that one at some point, though I doubt the show will give that to us). But anyhow, he’s never going to be able to be okay with taking a life for Robert. Especially not the life of one of Robert's debtors, someone whose situation is not so different from his own, now. 

Oooh Nadia is pushing for the street drugs– is my prediction gonna come true?? I love that last ep, Arman was telling Thony that they needed to consider Nadia’s idea of selling more lucrative drugs, but now he’s defending Thony’s refusal to Nadia and telling Nadia that they’re not drug dealers. Sounds like someone took Thony’s words to heart… also omg writers please stop dropping hints about Sin Cara killing Bosco!! Don’t you know he’s my boy???

Nadia is all pleased by Arman’s jealousy towards Robert– but is that really what it is? Like okay sure maybe a little (it would be weird to have to deal with your wife’s first love) but I wonder if Arman’s disgust is more about the way Robert looks at her like a prize he wants to win; like an object, which firstly Arman hates because she’s so much more than that, but also because it reminds him that both of them are just objects in Robert’s eyes; not people who came from nothing and made something of themselves, but just playthings for his amusement. I do appreciate that she has a similar reaction to his suggestion that he collect debts for Robert– reminding him he’s more than that, more than just a tool to be used. And lol gotta love Arman’s very half-hearted response to her hug haha, like yesss if I’m gonna have to see physical affection between these two, I want it to be as reluctant as possible on his part lol.

(Btw Arman must have gotten some excellent quality bruise cream bc his swelling and bruising has settled down a hell of a lot in the last like 12 hours lol)

Damn Thony that’s some good tying– “The harder you pull, the tighter they get”?? Where did you learn that one, huh?? Also love that she thought ahead enough to bring a sedative haha– like what other interesting things are in that big bag?? Clearly not rope tho lol

Oh Chris. Poor sad boy. Much trauma. That mirror shot was cool tho

Lol Fi bouncing around like a ping pong ball while Thony just stands there. At least Thony has seen the truth of it– the video is not the real problem here, the problem is the guy who can use what he knows against them– and she has already seen what the end result will have to be. And of course she knows exactly who can help save them from this problem. Also excuse me “He’s not family”– um correction, Fi, he’s not family yet. But give him and Thony a little more time and soon you’ll be calling him your sort-of-brother-in-law lol

I am surprised to admit this, but I kind of enjoy the dynamic between Garrett and new agent guy? Garrett is like a puppy who desperately wants to come play with the other agent dog and his toys lol, it’s almost (almost) endearing. And agent guy has a great voice. 

Oh god Thony. Could you maybe put some gloves on rather than just touching everything with your bare hands??? Also this searching is so inefficient lol, lbr it must be that she’s already decided deep down that she’s gonna call Arman and so she’s just doing this cursory effort at a search so she doesn’t feel like she lied to Fi haha. Also damn this is another good song, if anyone finds out what it is let me know! I’m still bummed that Savage from last ep isn’t on Spotify

Okay can I just point out that if there are outstanding debts that Arman could collect for Robert that he hadn’t ever expected to get back… then he’s a pretty forgiving loan shark?? Also I highly doubt he has a shortage of people on staff to go and make those collections for him… but I guess the whole appeal of the deal is that he gets to feel like he owns Arman (aka the man that Nadia chose) specifically, and is able to make him do his bidding. I have to say I am starting to get Robert’s casting a little more; they needed someone older than Arman and with a bit of gravitas, because no way would Arman be able to deal with taking orders from someone younger and less polished. And Naveen is doing a good job of making Robert a little more nuanced; there’s a surprising edge of vulnerability to him when he talks about Nadia, which actually seems sincere (and she certainly seems to take it as such)-- well, either that, or it’s some very impressive manipulation.  I love Arman literally turning away as he thinks through the offer, which is interesting symbolism as it leaves Nadia and Robert looking at each other behind his back.  He wants to protect her– he doesn’t want her to be subjected to being a plaything for Robert, like he already is– but he also sees the value in taking the offer (it could get them free of him so much faster) and he respects her ability to decide for herself.  But lol “You’re both mine” I think Robert’s over here planning to start a harem haha

You know I was literally wondering like a day before the ep aired who looks after Luca when the kids are at school and Thony and Fi are at work?? This woman seems lovely but there is NO reason for a character to be that pregnant unless they’re going to pop out a baby in like the IMMEDIATE future. Is Chris going to have to deliver this kid????? Also ugh Fi and Chris, these two are nailing these emotional scenes

Arman I am very much enjoying your costume change from suave businessman to hired-muscle-slash-runway-model lol. As much as I enjoy the suits, I vote the black tshirt/jeans/leather jacket combo stays forever. But omg the whole jockey thing? Like ngl I enjoyed it, but man it treaded close to the line of being a little too comedic/slapstick for this show’s vibe– thankfully it didn’t cross the line, but it was close. Maybe the point of choosing this kind of setting /character was to highlight how far Arman has been dragged down from his cool and untouchable mob boss persona of S1, that he is now subjected to the indignity of having to physically chase a debtor like a farmer trying to catch a chicken– not to mention getting his ass handed to him by a guy half his size. Been a long time since you’ve had to do this kind of grunt work, hey buddy?  

God, when he answers her call he doesn't even look at the screen, just hits the button and says her name– how the hell did he know it was her?? Does he have a special vibration alert for her specifically or???? (Most likely it was just to do with the editing of the shots, but I choose to believe that he does have different vibration tones– one for her,  one for Nadia, and then one for all other calls. That way he can know immediately if it’s a call he needs to take). But ugh are you kidding me with this?? The look on his face when she says she needs his help? Like his whole day just completely turned around lol. (Definitely makes me think back to Nadia calling him out– “You love the way she looks at you when you do these things for her. You’re her hero.”). Also he can probably tell instantly from her tone that she’s not distressed, which means he can skip being worried and instead just be pleased that he’s going to get to see her and help her out and make her happy ugh. Of course he probably immediately asked if everything was okay, and sigh I really wish we got to hear that conversation and see his reaction as she told him the whole story about Marco’s death, bc oh man the face journey would have been beautiful. Sigh, just another to add to my list of things to fic, I guess.

Ngl I want to know how these two managed to program keycards for this specific door, since it would have had to be done through the computer system, but I’ll just let that slide lol. Also Fi’s “I wish I knew how to get through to him”-- just let him talk to Arman!! Who better to support a young man who has been through something traumatic and is struggling with having done something terrible?? They can go do something manly together, like idk smash things or Arman can teach him to drive or something, and Chris can talk to someone who is super freakin cool and who Gets It, and also Arman can bond with his future nephew and score points with both Thony and Fi at the same time??? Win win for everybody??  

I love the way Thony tells Fi that she called Arman. She says it in a quick little burst, her body tense but expression determined, because even though she hates going against Fiona’s express wishes, she knows it was the right option– their only option. The whole situation is overwhelming, and Fi needs Thony’s strength and support to get her through it– but Thony can’t carry that kind of weight alone. She, in turn, needs Arman’s strength and support to get her through it. And honestly to her it would seem so clear cut; it’s not just that Arman has ~experience~ with this kind of thing (even though yes, that’s definitely part of it), but it’s also just that– aside from Fi of course– Arman has become her Person?? Some things are too big to be handled alone, and whenever that happens, Arman is the one she turns to, because she knows he will always be there for her, just like she knows she would do whatever she could to be there for him as well. Fi doesn’t get that yet; she sees Thony running off at all hours to do things for Arman, and thinks that it’s because he has power over her or that Thony feels she is indebted to him for helping Luca. She has this caricature in her head of him, this ruthless mobster type who has Thony firmly under his control (likely influenced by whatever shit Marco spouted about him), and so that’s why she reacts to seeing him the way that she does. Well, okay, she also reacts to the fact that he looks like a goddamn movie star, but a big part of her response is the fact that she was expecting some cold-blooded criminal to stride in with his gun drawn and shoot their unarmed captive in the head/violently torture the password out of him before walking out again with some vague threat about how Thony will owe him big for this. (Just roll with me here; I maintain that this is legit and that Fi has as much of an imagination as I do lol). So that’s what she’s fearing when Arman turns up at the door, but instead she gets faced with this leather-jacketed Adonis who immediately looks her in the eye and introduces himself to her, then quietly and compassionately swears to her that he’s going to help her. Honestly her reaction was so perfect (ngl, I let out an embarrassingly high-pitched shriek of laughter at “call me whatever you want”, bc same, girl, same) and it was just so goddamn relatable omg???

In fact, I guess now is a good time for me to admit something… that I have actually personally been subjected to the fun game of ‘Surviving In The Presence Of Adan Canto’ irl. He was on the same flight to Albuquerque as my friend and I when we visited in July, and I ended up having to stand literally right in front of his seat for probably a solid minute waiting for other passengers in the aisle to store their bags and move out of the way (god, I am forever grateful to them for taking their sweet time haha). To be fair, he's maybe slightly less potent in a tshirt/jeans/ball cap combo than in the fancy Arman suits or the leather jacket, but still, holy shit. My friend said that when I turned around to stare at her after first spotting him, it was the most genuinely alarmed she's seen me look in 11 years of friendship lol– thank god that having a mask on gave me a chance to control my face pretty quickly haha! Sadly our seats were at the totally opposite end of the plane to his though, so by the time we disembarked, he was long gone. Not that I would have approached him anyway of course (it was like 11pm, dude was probably just wanting to get home asap) but ngl another glimpse would have been more than welcome haha. (Oh and @enigmaticfox can absolutely attest to the truth of all of this, since I literally immediately paid for in-flight wifi just to be able to scream at her over whatsapp lol.)  

But anyway, the point of all that was to say: Fiona, I get you, girl.

Okay back to the motel room. I freakin love Arman’s surprised little smile at Fi’s response to him; I’m sure he’s had many people have all kinds of ~reactions~ to his hotness, but Fiona is different– because aside from Luca, she’s the most important person in Thony’s life, and boy is he desperate for her approval. Like ugh that pleased little face practically shouts "yes! I'm gonna get a good grade in Impressing My Future Sister In Law, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve!" (...actually, I guess it kind of is? lol). And then ughhhh in addition to the Arman Hotness™ he turns on the full powers of the Arman Compassion™ all while standing  right there at Thony’s side like it’s where he belongs. And THEN it gets worse????? He goes to check out what he’s going to be dealing with, and lord I can absolutely picture him seeing the guy’s bound hands and literally stopping in his tracks, eyebrows shooting sky high. I am honestly grateful there was no one to witness the look on my face when he stepped back out of the bathroom and asked her in that I’m trying so hard to be cool and casual about this right now tone whether she was the one that tied him up, and she clearly can’t quite figure why he’s asking– did she not do it right? Did he disapprove for some reason?-- and then when she confirms it (with just the tiniest hint of defensiveness) he immediately morphs from that wide-eyed blushing emoji to the fucking smiling devil emoji omg. “I see you’ve learned a few things” EXCUSE ME MR MORALES WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DO THAT WITH YOUR FACE AND YOUR VOICE AND YOUR EVERYTHING??? I would personally like to sue this scene for emotional damages because I am absolutely a victim here lol. I think Fi might feel the same, based on the way she looks at Thony; I honestly can’t decide if it’s more “What the hell kind of criminal shit have you been getting up to with this guy??” or “What the hell kind of kinky shit have you been getting up to with this guy??”  (Maybe both?? Let’s go with both haha.) And lollllll forever at Thony just closing her eyes– what a super awkward time to be suddenly very turned on, hey Thony??????

Phew okay honestly I almost appreciate the scene switch to Nadia and Robert purely for some recovery time haha. I like that Nadia isn’t so much ‘working’ for Robert as just getting to do something she enjoys– which is the act of influencing people (especially men) into doing what she wants them to do. It’s a fascinating character trait and I really enjoy seeing the way she uses it on both Arman and Robert in slightly different ways. It’s also very interesting to consider the contrast between how she gets Arman to do what she wants vs how Thony does; Nadia is clever with her words and with her emotions, always knowing which buttons to push and in what order, partly due to her natural talent and partly due to knowing him so long. (Of course, he knows her, too, which means he knows that at any time he might be being deliberately manipulated).  Whereas Thony just comes to him with such earnest openness– there’s no manipulation or guile to her interactions with him (the one time she tried, in 1x05, it was under significant duress and she still couldn’t go through with it because she cared too much about what would happen to him ugh) and god, that must be so damn refreshing for him. Conversely, I think Robert actually loves being manipulated by Nadia. He’s so powerful and untouchable that no one dares to challenge him at all anymore, but Nadia is different; she’s known him since the start, and she’s not scared of him, so there is a kind of teasingly adversarial nature to their interactions that he clearly can’t get enough of.  

Arman, staring at the cord tightly binding the guy’s wrists: “don’t fantasize about it, don’t fantasize about it, don’t– shit too late” lolllll. Got a little bit of a thing for bondage, huh Arman?? Don’t worry, I’m sure Thony will be very willing to demonstrate her technique for you someday not too far from now.  (Seriously, this ep killed me with the sexual tension. It’s like the intensity of the situation made these two forget that they’re supposed to be keeping their distance, and I LOVE IT).  But anyhow I love that they both take the opportunity to have a little catch up while standing over an unconscious dude in a bathtub lol. Ugh Thony’s concern for him and his situation with Robert– firstly because of the debt hanging over him, but also bc thanks to Maya, she knows Robert is both a) into some criminal shit and b) likely to be a person of interest to the FBI, meaning Arman’s connection to him will put him at risk from the FBI again. Arman is all too willing to answer any questions she has, and ugh at that open body language and the way he moves a little closer to her while they talk; meanwhile she’s got her arms folded again, just like I mentioned in my last recap– given we know how much she trusts him and feels safe with him, crossing her arms isn’t a sign of discomfort, but having to hold herself back from connecting  with him physically the way she wants to.  And ok yes, she’s fishing for info rn, but I have no doubt she’s going to tell him her concerns about Robert very soon. Now’s just not quite the time for that conversation haha (like I said, unconscious guy right there). But oh man I held my breath when he mentioned her meeting Robert– I assume it was Robert himself that mentioned Thony at some point, because I think it’s unlikely Thony would have brought it up and we already know Nadia is sticking with the story that she did all the work getting Arman out of jail. It makes sense to me that Thony didn’t tell Arman about the stripping down part, especially right now (again, unconscious guy), and tbh I’m glad, bc while I so desperately want him to know, I want him to find out from Robert himself, because I want him to go completely feral and attack him over it haha. (yes, I also have a WIP about this lol, and I know @chartreuseblueandyellow has already posted a fic which I can’t wait to read once I’m done with mine!). 

Poor Nadia. She talked all tough in front of Robert but honestly she’s perceptive enough to know how precarious their position is, that at any time Robert could tire of the game he’s playing with them and demand what he’s owed. She’s over here being deliberately sexy and charming and pushing Robert’s buttons– aka, playing her part– and where’s Arman? Skipping out on the job that he asked to do so he could go be with Thony (again, points to him for not lying about it tho). Honestly Nadia has every right to be pissed with him, and I’m happy she is, because it will lead to her pushing Arman away– which, conveniently, will allow him to continue on his path towards Thony. (I have an Ask to answer about the Nadia/Arman/Robert situation so I won’t go into it here). But anyway ugh this phone call is amazing because it makes it clear to both Thony and Fi that Arman is choosing to be here helping her even though it is causing issues in his marriage. Thony is clearly contrite about it– she knows the difficult position that their connection puts him in, the way it divides his loyalties, but she still can’t keep herself from repeatedly reaching out to him– but ugh “it’s never a problem for you to call” (translation: please please call me more, I will take any excuse I can get to see you, I will always be there for you) and then that eye contact??? Rude. I’m sad the shot ends a bit abruptly because I wanted to see more of Fi being like HELLO I AM STILL HERE AND SO IS THE UNCONSCIOUS GUY CAN THE EYE LOVE-MAKING WAIT UNTIL THIS SHITSHOW IS OVER PLEASE– and then the two of them do some awkward throat clearing and be all like “uh right so the unconscious guy…” lol

Speaking of MMM, he’s still zonked,  and ugh I love the shot of the little trio standing over him. Absolutely fantastic choice to have Fi standing between Arman and Thony– firstly it shows she’s getting just a fraction more comfortable with him, and secondly it means we are blessed with her looking back and forth between them like she’s watching a very slow and emotionally charged tennis match lol. Forever crying about how he’s so matter of fact about it– “you two can go, i’ll take it from here”-- bc lbr from the moment he heard on the phone that the guy had been a witness to Thony being present at Marco’s death, he knew he was going to kill him. I’m glad though that Thony tells him no and tries to find another solution, because it shows him that she didn’t just blithely assume he would come kill for her, and also that she is trying to protect him too by finding some other way to neutralise the guy without Arman having to get blood on his hands. I love his little smile as he gently explains Crime 101 to them (all witnesses gotta go)-- and then ugh she calls him out on the very notable exception, and omg THE NERVE OF THIS BOY to look at her with so much fucking softness and say “that’s because you’re different’. He doesn’t say ‘that’ was different, he says ‘YOU’RE’ different. Even from the start, he saw something in her, a similarity between them, a connection. He would never want to kill any innocent woman, but with her, taking her life would have felt like killing off something deep within himself, so instead he did the only thing he could do– he pulled her into his world, bringing her close, keeping her safe. So of course she’s different; she’s his, just like he is hers, each of them balancing out the other. Honestly this line was reminiscent of the ‘I’m in too deep now’ from 1x07 (but dialled up even further, ugh), and tbh I don’t know how Fiona was even able to stand being in that room with them right then lol, let alone literally in between them. Probably lucky she was, though, or they might have started making out right then and there, and the problem of MMM would never get solved lol

Uggghhh anyhow gotta move on. I love that Arman immediately relents when Thony insists on trying to scare MMM into silence first; he knows it won’t work, but he knows it’s important to her to try (and lbr, he’s already totally planning to come back and arrange an ‘accident’ for the guy later), so he helps her do what she needs to do. Not that he’s complaining; lbr he absolutely enjoyed showing off his sexy tough guy act for Thony, though not nearly as much as he enjoyed Thony’s quietly unhinged red market organ harvester act. The way his eyes go from her– from her calm expression, her cool and collected movements– to MMM’s face, seeing the fear that she is able to inspire with just her words, it’s clear that he is INTO this. You can even see him swallow hard at one point when she’s laying her hand over MMM’s liver, and honestly this scene is just Too Goddamn Much for me ugh. It’s not only the sexual tension (tho ngl I am getting some strong roleplay kink vibes here, y’all, particularly with a little light dom/sub flavour, lord help me) but it’s also the new level of understanding between them, the perfectly cohesive partnership, and what it means for both of them– for Thony, it’s knowing she can take charge and do something both risky and unfamiliar, and that she will be completely supported by him; for Arman, it’s seeing that Thony is not afraid to step deeper into the shadowy world he inhabits, that she can accept the darker side of him and all the terrible things he has done out of necessity, because she understands. I also love that their knees are just touching as she threatens MMM, a tiny physical reminder of that connection and support. The only shot I couldn’t quite figure out was Arman’s expression when she says that she’ll take the guy’s heart too, and that it sells for $1M– but I decided that it was him mentally being like ‘wait is that actually true???’ lol. Too bad you already gave your heart to Thony for free, huh Arman? :P  But ugh the way he looks up at her for her decision after the guy tells them where to find the file, and the smooth command in her voice as she tells him to stay there while she goes and checks it out-- like I said, the dom/sub vibes are REAL here kids (if you hear some kind of distant screeching/wailing sound, don’t worry, that’s just me not being able to deal with this in the slightest)

Ugh thank god, watching Fi be devastated by the video is actually easier to watch than any of that previous scene lol. I love Thony being savvy enough to wipe the drive, though I wish she’d been equally savvy in wearing some goddamn gloves so they didn’t now have to clean every inch of this room. But oooh the way Fiona is starting to see Thony more clearly now and realising that there is more to her connection to Arman than she’d previously assumed. I was worried when she said Thony was different with Arman; worried she meant it in a negative way, that she might judge what Thony had done, or act like her connection with Arman had tainted her somehow. But then instead she brought up Thony’s trust in him, and it was like ohhhhhhhhhh. Because in that bathroom Fi saw the side of Thony she used to see way back in her surgeon days– the decisiveness and the proficiency, the confidence and the self-assurance of someone feeling completely secure in the situation she was in. Of course, that side of her hadn’t completely disappeared in the time since she’d left work to have Luca, but it was rarer now, tempered by the constant strain she was under and the complete lack of support she received from anyone (other than the limited kind that Fi herself could provide). But with Arman, she is able to become that person again, because she knows she can trust him to be there, to support her in whatever way she needs. Fi knows it even before Thony confirms it (we’ve already heard her explicitly say that she trusts him, and have seen evidence of it countless times, but still, I died at the conviction in that ‘yes') and then ugh the “because he always shows up when I need him”. Honestly, the Backstreet Boys really captured it with “I don’t care who you are/ Where you’re from/ What you did/ As long as you love me” lol; Thony doesn’t care about Arman’s past, or that he sometimes has to do bad things– not only does she know the world is far more complicated than simply being split into Good and Bad (she’s even said as much, when detained with Garrett in 1x09), but Arman has also proven himself to her, proven that he’ll always be there when she needs him, that she matters to him in a way Marco never showed her. I often noticed the contrast between Marco and Arman in S1 in relation to Thony, how one of them would always only add to her burden while the other would always try to lighten it in any way he could. (Even in death, Marco added to that burden, but here Arman is, taking care of her yet again). But anyway ugh Thony swearing to Fi that she would do anything for their family but that sometimes that way is not going to be the way they want definitely ties back to Arman’s line in 1x01 about doing things ‘any way you can’.  And idk maybe it’s just me but “sometimes things just happen the way they happen” sure sounds a lot like “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall in love with a mob boss while still married to your brother, but here we are” lol. In which case, Fi’s acceptance with ‘Bahala Na’ could have a whole other level to it– whatever happens with Thony and Arman, happens… 

Well, those USBs were a lucky find lol. But ugh Arman’s concern when they come back into the room looking upset, and the freakin predatory glint he gets in his eyes when he says ‘he lied to us’ (idk why the us has me so affected lol, it’s the logical word choice, but damn if it doesn’t make me feel like he’s a member of the family now).  Poor Thony is so rattled tho– tbh she’d known right from the start that MMM was a problem that would need to be eliminated, and what that would likely mean, but then the apparent success of their little roleplay had really had her believing that silencing him could be achieved without bloodshed. But now she knows the truth, sees that Arman knew it all along. And I love that he knows she understands now, so he just lets her process and focuses on Fiona instead, all gentle and calm and reassuring with “You don’t have to. I promised to protect your family. I’ll take care of it.” Which, firstly, (*muffled screaming*) and secondly, according to Wiki, one of the meanings for Bahala Na– other than whatever happens, happens– is “I’ll take care of things”.  Which kinda seems slightly contradictory, but still, I love that through this other meaning, Arman is part of their Bahala Na pact with them. (Ngl I’m totally gonna adopt this concept in my own life, I love it.) Anyway I feel like the stunned look in her eyes is not just about the fact that MMM is going to have to die, but also that Arman is so prepared to do it for them. She still hasn’t clicked to the fact that Arman would do anything for Thony, which I guess is fair, considering this is the first time she’s even seen them together– but I think after this, the image she had in her head of the ruthless mob boss keeping Thony trapped in his grip is certainly going to be gone, replaced by that of a man with a complicated past who truly cares about (loves) her best friend. But anyway ugh the way Thony reached for Arman, holding on for that brief moment as she accepted what was about to happen– the touch both a request and an acknowledgement; she knows what needs to happen, and what will happen no matter what, but she still gives Fiona agency in that choice, just like Arman did for her earlier when he agreed to her plan. And the fact that she acknowledges that Chris is Fi’s son and so the decision is up to her shows that she is really listening to her and respecting her position in this situation, especially considering how Fi told her earlier in the ep that calling Arman wasn’t her decision to make. God this show is just freakin incredible with the nuance in its character interactions, I honestly can’t. (Also damn, Martha knocked this scene out of the fucking park, omg. What a queen.)

I also just cannot deal with Arman’s entire everything as he leans there against the counter (so goddamn rude, sir) or the small nod he gives Fi. But ugh then when Thony’s eyes lift to his, clearly pained, and he gently reassures her that it’s okay– he knows her hesitation is partly about the fact that she’s literally condemning a man to death, but lbr he also knows it’s more about the fact that he is going to have to be the one to carry that weight on his shoulders. He knows it, just like he knew in 2x02 that when she said she felt like she’d failed everyone, she wasn’t talking about Marco. And so when he says it’s okay, it’s not just ‘it’s okay, you had no choice, the guy had to die’, but ‘it’s okay. I choose to do this, and you don’t need to regret it, because I won’t.’ Ugggggghhhhhh. Honestly i cannot wait for their next scene together, because the way they look at each other after being even more deeply connected in this way is going to be A Lot. (And considering how intensely they already look at each other, I’m probably not going to survive this. Ah well, at least I'll die happy lol) 

Ok gotta say I’m definitely noticing a change in Garrett this season. I think it’s partly bc his dog-with-a-bone attitude isn’t being directed at Arman so much anymore, now that he’s caught up with getting Maya free of Cortez– he really does seem to care about Maya, and though he was blowing up thony’s phone with calls, he was begging for her to hand over the cloned phone rather than threatening her. I think he resorted to the threats last ep because he had to, but never had the intention of following through or continuing to make her work for him; it’s clear he has a soft spot for Thony and wants to help her when he can, and I liked that he actually showed genuine appreciation for her help, and that he agreed that it was a one-time thing– that she had done her part and he wouldn’t demand any more of her. At this stage it probably seems to him there's nothing else she could do anyway, though if he finds out she's connected to RK, that will almost certainly change… I also appreciated that when Fi called for Thony to help with the pregnant lady, he immediately checked if they needed extra help. And oh man I think I'm actually developing a weird grudging almost-fondness for him a little bit?? Like he's still an absolute jackass, but he's our jackass??  Tbh this must be how Russo feels lol

Wow Robert is clearly really enjoying having Nadia around haha. Can’t say I blame him, and tbh the ‘why are you asking me, I’m not your boss’ line was actually pretty good lol. (I feel like I need to add in a permanent disclaimer here: I still hate him and tbh hope he dies by the end of the season kill him Thony but his scenes with Nadia so far are not bad to watch). I can’t be bothered to say anything more about this scene– this is already so long, and I’m gonna talk more about these two in an Ask shortly– but basically I’m glad to see them getting closer, because it’s exactly what the season needs.

Ugh I have listened to this song (Mother, by Byland) so many times, and the vibes it gives about this show are so good. I liked the juxtaposition of Thony bringing a life into the world at the same time Arman was taking one out of it– it shows how they complement each other, how they fit together, ying-yang wise.  (Though dude it has to have been at least ten years since Thony delivered a baby, which is about the same as it has been for me, so damn I respect her doing that on her own without freaking out lol). Also I had a little giggle at Chris holding the baby– like oh ok sure, poor traumatised boy experiences the miracle of life and suddenly feels better. Congrats. I do hope the show won’t just have him be totally fine now– what he went through was huge and seeing the wrinkly little face of a fresh human is definitely not enough to erase that. But I guess we’ll see.

But anyway, I gotta say I respect MMM for just accepting his fate and not trying to yell or run. Sorry it had to be this way buddy, but you really did fuck up in threatening these two women specifically. Arman hesitating to shoot broke my heart a little; he really is a good man, and killing someone in self defense (eg Hayak, bald guy) is very different from an execution-style murder. I think it’s especially hard for him now because since knowing Thony, he has become more and more aware of that darker side of himself, and how much he hates it and wants to be better. But tonight at least, it’s that darkness that will keep Thony safe; left alive, this man will always be a threat to her, which is something Arman simply cannot allow. And it’s because of that– because of her– that he has the strength to pull the trigger. 

Okay jesus there we go. Almost 7k words later and I’m free of this episode haha. Like I said at the start (if any of you can even remember back that far) I am going to try and tone these down again from now on, but if y’all decide not to continue subjecting yourselves to these, I completely understand haha. But for any of you crazy masochists out there who want to continue– I’ll see you next week lol

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 2x03 recap

Oh boy these just keep getting longer lol. So many thoughts about 2x03 (and especially Armony, of course) under the cut. 

Also, while I know a tiny bit about the direction of this season, I'm doing my best to stay as spoiler free as I can, so any discussion about future eps or plotlines in this recap are purely just my own speculation.

Oh god Thony holding Luca and crying as she explains again that Marco isn’t coming back… sure, show, just completely crush my heart, it’s not like I needed it anyway or anything

Fi and Arman should have a mop-breaking competition lol

Ughh all these ladies supporting each other and having fun together, this is what it’s all about! We so rarely get to see Thony truly smile (the Reloj dance scene was one of the very notable occasions…) so it’s so nice then it happens. Also Fi and Thony (Or maybe Martha and Elodie?) seem to have this little shoulder shrugging dance move they do (it was the same in 1x01) and I love it??

 Arman and Robert both run clubs in Vegas and have never met before? Clearly one or both of them must have been working hard to avoid it… Also man if I didn’t hate Robert already for how he treated Thony, I would have started to dislike him by now purely because of how tense he makes my boy Arman lol. The imagery of them facing each other from opposite sides with Nadia in between was a nice touch tho

Ugh so much to love about this scene. Thony getting to use her doctor skills, Fi absolutely annihilating Alonzo, Thony being all proud of her sis and having her back, the ladies all sticking together, and of course, “Chop chop, Alonzo” :P

Poor Fi panicking after realising that she really can’t go back and that she is now responsible for the others who quit with her, but Thony is all cool and ‘we got this’-- lbr she’s known that they’ve been heading towards this for a while.  Also her telling Vinny off was kind of hot– and he probably agrees! Let's face it, he probably has a thing for Thony lol (but then again who doesn’t???)

Oh wow they’re really selling off everything? I’m intrigued by the ring– @enigmaticfox suggested that it might have been the first big gift he bought for her after they ‘made it’ and became able to live the life they wanted to live, and so it was a symbol of that dream being achieved? Also while I actually prefer when the show doesn’t give us subtitles, I’m definitely over here side-eyeing the very clear decision that the writers made to a) make sure we knew that Nadia told him she loved him, and b), not to have him say it back to her….  (of course he does love her, but I’m just saying, there was definitely a narrative choice made there) 

Excuse me but Arman has no right to be this hot?? The image of him standing in the doorway in that black tshirt, all cool and confident as he casually threatens Garrett’s life is going to live in my head rent free for approximately forever lol. “All I need is one” oh lord help me

Poor Thony can’t catch a break when it comes to Luca lol. But oh man medical scenes in tv are the worst, like nope that’s not what meds you’d use, that’s not how you pronounce that word, that’s not how you do that… there’s definitely a reason why I can’t watch hospital shows lol. But anyway I love the repeated commentary about how broken the US medical system is; this show definitely isn’t shy about getting its message across 

Ngl, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the kind of reunion scene that these two would likely have, and while the scene I’d been wishing they could have was quite different (I’ll fic it one day lol; it involves significantly more hugging haha) this actually was quite close to what I expected they would have– a lot of staring at each other and speaking in soft voices, but held back from anything more by the situation they’re in. And while the scene is simple and brief, honestly I think there’s a lot to like about it? Like the way their voices sound when they greet each other– it’s not the ‘oh hey I wasn’t expecting to see you’ kind of surprised tone that someone uses when they run into a friend unexpectedly, but more of a ‘I’ve been hoping to see you so badly and now you’re suddenly here in front of me and I don’t know what to say’. I love the tiny little pause after she says hey where they just stare at each other– it’s short, but still just long enough to be noticeable, just like the distance they’re standing at is just a little closer than what even most friends would– the magnetism is definitely real here, kids. Also something this scene made me realise is that Thony often crosses her arms when she and Arman are standing close to each other, but there’s nothing defensive or uncomfortable in it; I may be going off the fangirl rails here but I feel like the habit formed because she always wants to reach out to him but can’t let herself. But anyhow he makes it clear to her that despite already having plans, he will put them aside for her if she wants him to, and ugh when she agrees to the drink he immediately reaches for her, like he can’t keep himself from touching her any longer?? And then his hand just… lingers? Like okay, to touch her back for a moment as they turn would absolutely make sense, it’s a totally normal and common ‘come this way’ gesture. But instead he just keeps it there, keeping them connected as they walk into his club together in full view of any patrons and staff, all but claiming her as someone of significance to him.  I also love her “You look-” (slight pause) “-better” lol, like she was almost about to say “You look good” and then decided that that would be a little too close to the truth of what she was thinking lol. It’s also interesting that in that moment, with her there beside him and his hand on her back, it’s the most at ease he’s looked all episode; while she looks like she’s practically holding her breath lol, like his touch and proximity is sending her nerves haywire. Or maybe that’s just me making shit up again! But either way, I loved this scene, even if it was a short and subtle moment. Couldn’t help but chuckle at him telling her he feels free though; between his debt to Robert and his obligation to Nadia, he’s practically as trapped as he was in prison. But I guess that for this one brief moment with Thony there beside him, he can forget about all of that :P

Ngl I love that they sat down and had a drink together in the bar, rather than going to his office– like being alone together would be too much of a temptation, too hard to keep the distance they need to keep, so they simply avoid it. She’s not long lost her husband, and he’s trying to save his wife from being condemned to a life of barely scraping by, and they’re both all too aware of it, and so each is holding back on behalf of the other. Also there’s just something about how the act of drinking involves hands and lips and ugh idk man, it feels like a bit of a proxy kind of thing to me rn lol. I will say that I need the show to stop chopping out chunks of their interactions though– seriously, stop leaving gaps that I feel compelled to fill, dammit-- but I assume he asked her how she was doing after the funeral etc, and maybe she even tactfully mentioned hearing about Hayak and asked how he was doing? And then of course he asks about Luca, and the moment she says she needs help you can immediately see that he’s going to give it, no matter what it involves. The man may be a big bad mobster but he’s also the world’s biggest simp when it comes to Thony haha. I honestly love that over the course of S1, she became more and more comfortable with going to him for help, as he steadily proved to her that she could rely on him and that he’d be there for her when she needed it. I also love how she pauses and puts down her drink when he mentions the military supplier, then asks him outright about the guns– she’s never been shy about calling him out on his shit, even when they barely knew each other and she was definitely stepping over a line– but this feels different, like she has a right to question his actions, like his decisions now involve her too. While early S1 Arman would have brushed her off, and late S1 Arman might have reassured her he knew what he was doing and that she should just trust him, this Arman immediately lays it all out for her, being completely honest about the situation he’s in and why he has to do what he’s doing, because it’s clearly important to him that she understands.  And he makes it clear that he needs the money to be free of Robert, but honestly there might be another unspoken truth there too– that without the money, he can’t be free of Nadia, either. He has too much honour to abandon her to fend for herself, so if they lose everything he’ll stick with her no matter what, because he cares about her and it’s the right thing to do. And then ugh his face as Thony offers him up a solution for escaping his debt– a partnership, with her– but he’s afraid to take it. It’d mean venturing into the unknown, taking a gamble that could fail and leave him with nothing, and hmmmm I wonder if this is making him think of any other kind of risky venture involving Thony that he desperately wants to take?? There’s for sure some layers going on here, man. But anyhow ugh I gotta stop here because otherwise i will just rewatch this scene all night lol 

Some random notes about the bar set, though: I don’t like the red lighting, reminds me too much of Robert’s place. Also I was sure those booths must be a new addition to the set but no they’ve been there all along (I checked 1x03 lol). And lastly why would they have the doors to the kitchen open when there’s clearly customers in the club?? These are the things I obsess about lol

Fi having trouble finding customers for their business makes me stressed, but ugh I loved seeing her grinning at their sign on the van. This woman deserves the world. Also ngl I kind of enjoy Mr Motel Manager? He’s such a caricature lol, and I know he’ll be taken care of soon enough. Also “You have until the end of the week” is very vague– end of the business week, or the weekend? What time?? How about you be more clear with your blackmailing, buddy??

Of course Thony tries to be logical about it– she’s spent enough time around criminals lately to have an idea of how their minds work– and I appreciate knowing that she actually did check for security cameras that night and didn’t just miss this big obvious camera that was pointed right at the four of them lol. But anyway she’s in a fresh shirt and she’s already going to pick up the meds that Arman managed to get for her– has it been a couple days, or is it literally just the next morning after their conversation?? I can imagine him working that fast for her. (Also did he text her or call her to tell her he got them? I need to know these things, show!)  And lol at Fiona ordering her not to tell Arman about the blackmail; lbr we all know that talking to him about it was literally the first thing she was going to do. I’ve already said that I love that she goes to him about almost everything, but I really hope that this season we can see him needing her more, and her supporting him like he does for her. Based on some of the vague things said in interviews I think I might get that wish :P

Taking the matchbox was so unnecessary Garrett. You really can’t remember two words?? I like this other agent though, mostly because he has joined the ranks of the Garrett-draggers lol

Ugh poor Nadia trying to be all cool and tough for Arman’s benefit and then immediately dropping the act when he tells her how dire the situation really is. I am honestly really enjoying seeing more layers to her (even though liking her as a character makes my level of Armony shipping feel a little awkward haha) and I really do think they have a pretty amazing relationship. They have always had a different vibe to Armony– Armony is soulmate-level romantic, two people from vastly different lives who just fit each other and make each other better– whereas Arman and Nadia have always seemed more like bickering siblings, or comrades-in-arms. Their connection is based on a shared background, shared history, and shared drive; like Arman said, they both came from nothing and had dreams of becoming something, and for the last however many years, they have been a team in that goal. There’s absolutely love there, and attraction of course (how could there not be, they’re both smoking hot) and they would have likely remained together forever-- bickering and fighting and likely sleeping with other people, but also supporting each other and being each other’s person-- except then Arman met Thony, and it opened his eyes to the kind of connection he’d never even realised he could have. And yet, even so, he’s prepared to give up the very thing he wants so desperately– to give Thony up– because Nadia needs him, and he can’t abandon her, not like this. And honestly that choice will probably make Thony fall even more in love with him– bc seriously, imagine if he dropped Nadia right now (when their situation is so completely desperate) to try to be with Thony instead???? Thony would be like “nah man, I may be completely in love with you but I can’t be with someone who would turn his back on his family like that”. It would have been different if things were still as they were at the end of S1– if Arman had gotten safely out of jail with all the money still in their hands, then Nadia could have been given a sizeable chunk of it as well as the option to run part of the business, so she was still able to live the life she wanted to lead; if that had happened, then him leaving her to be with Thony would have actually been a genuine possibility. Still complicated and emotional and messy, but far more acceptable to all three of them than the situation they’re in now. 

But anyway I’m getting distracted again. I’m honestly impressed that he said the medicine was for Thony, rather than hiding behind the idea that it’s for Luca, but I guess he feels he owes it to Nadia to be as honest as possible now, especially after her calling him out in the past for lying to her repeatedly about Thony. That’s growth, I guess? He doesn’t look like he’s enjoying it rn though haha. Gotta say I love this argument though– they both know that Thony has a hold on him, and hearing Nadia call her his cleaning lady rather than ‘a’ or ‘the’ cleaning lady was oddly satisfying. Ngl I was half expecting her to say something like ‘your little girlfriend’ or something instead though, and maybe that was where his mind went too, because he immediately countered by calling her out on her going to her ex boyfriend lol. (Oh so you equate your connection to Thony with Nadia’s connection to someone she was once in love with? Interesting, Arman, very interesting.) Anyway bit unfair of her to claim that it was just her that got him out of jail– literally, neither woman could have done it without the other, which kind of symbolises how important they both are in Arman’s life– but I’ll forgive her bc she’s having a rough couple of weeks lol. Tbh I’m glad he gave her a hug, though I’m even more glad that that wasn’t the moment that Thony arrived at the office lol. She doesn’t need to be reminded that she’s fallen for a man who [she thinks] she can never have. 

Speaking of Thony’s arrival, though, I love that she doesn’t hold back around either of them now; she all but tells them to get their grubby mitts off the medicine, and shuts them down cold at the suggestion of selling street drugs. Hell, she even has Nadia moving out of her way as she packs up the meds. And lol at Arman caught in the middle, trying to balance both women’s agendas as he gets pressured by Nadia and berated by Thony hahaha. We all know who’s really calling the shots here, and it ain’t our boy.  But oh wow Thony is 100% lying through her teeth about the regular medicines making as much profit as addictive street drugs– especially when her whole plan was to sell the medicines to people who couldn’t afford to get them in the US. She’d be having to sell HUGE numbers of those medicines to make a good profit, unless she wanted to charge poor immigrants through the nose for them (which, like I said, was the opposite to her plan), whereas the street value of Oxy or Xanax would be about $20 and $5 per pill respectively (it’s generally around $50 and $10 here, but I’m just making a rough guess of what it would be in USD lol). I can’t imagine that she doesn’t know this, which means she is taking the gamble that they’ll just take her word for it and follow her plan instead. And while they do seem to, I could definitely see Nadia and Arman actually going behind her back and secretly using their supply line to get and sell street drugs– because of the dire money situation they’re in– and then Thony later finds out (most likely right when she and Arman are getting closer again) and that betrayal temporarily drives a wedge between her and Arman. But who knows. What I do know is that I love the imagery of Arman standing in the middle of the two women who are almost like mirrors of each other– both with a hand on the hip, but with Nadia’s other hand on the desk and Thony’s on the box of meds. Ugh the symbolismmm. The fact that Arman is looking at Thony as he says ‘together’ is just fine by me too lol

Excuse me, how dare this scene just start with the two of them just standing together waiting for Bosco?? I’ve seen the clip on twitter of him getting out of the caddy and Thony watching him with literally the thirstiest look we’ve ever seen from her (same, girl, same) and now it turns out that they freakin cut it??? I feel robbed. I need to see that moment, just like I need to know what they were talking about while they were standing there waiting. (Again, stop making me want to fic it, goddammit). Also I would like to point out that Thony has her arms crossed again (and he’s fiddling with his sunglasses)-- it really is so hard for you two to not be allowed to touch each other, huh?

I would like to make it known right now that I love Bosco. I wasn’t sure about him in 1x06– he did put Thony in the back of the van, after all, but he also seemed serious when he promised Arman he would take care of her– but now i am definitely a fan. Firstly he got significantly hotter (phew, that haircut and that smile suit you, sir), but I also just love him teasing Arman about basically being whipped by Thony lol. I would say he’s absolutely right, but honestly, Thony doesn’t even need to do any whipping. Arman legit just throws himself at her feet without any prompting whatsoever haha. Also speaking of looking hot– holy shit, Arman in that black tshirt and jeans, grinning at his friend?? Help me jesus. And that low sound he makes as he waves off Bosco’s hand????? Poor Thony’s gonna get heatstroke at any moment, and not from the desert sun lol. I love that he makes sure to signal to her to come with him as they head for the van, not leaving her there wondering what she should do or to just trail along awkwardly behind them. And then he lets her take the lead with the meds, both him and Bosco treating her as the expert. I am so happy that my TV is good enough to see the brief little smile on his face at her reaction to seeing the meds for Luca, because oh my heartttt. And then he immediately thanks Bosco for making her happy his help lol. Ngl the fact that the riskiness of doing this under Sin Cara’s nose has already been mentioned twice makes me worry for Bosco though…. They better not kill my boy Bosco just as I got attached to him lol

Oh Vinny for sure has the hots for Thony lol. And very understandable when she’s being all badass businesswoman/doctor like this lol. I still can’t see the clinic as being particularly lucrative, but I love that she’s doing it. Also I know I say this like every week but damn this soundtrack is good??

Yikes, like I said, not lucrative enough. 58k short even after selling thousands of dollars worth of jewellery and a car or two? What the hell will they do for next week’s payment, sell a kidney each? (Or some street drugs, maybe….?). Also definitely intrigued by the way Nadia was staring at thony– what ideas is she cooking up in that gorgeous head? (again, street drugs? lol) Also having her standing directly between Thony and Arman in the shot… more symbolism, or? 

From one money counter to another. I love that Thony kept aside the 10k for Fi, and let’s be fair, handing it over wouldn’t have solved Arman’s problem, so I think it’s valid for her to be like ‘he’ll figure it out’ lol. He has Nadia to work as a team with; she has Fi. They both have to be loyal to their team right now. And sigh Thony again tries to be smart about it but Fi won’t listen, and you can see that Thony has simply decided to just support Fi no matter what, even if it’s not the best way to handle it. She’s slowly learning that she has to give up a bit of control now and then and just be there for the people who need her, even if she disagrees with them. How's that for character growth.

I wonder if these women ever think about how weird their life has gotten, considering they have a mob boss on speed dial and an FBI agent who is starting to become a regular visitor at their door lol. I did suspect Garrett might bring in Thony to help him with Maya, but ugh I don’t like that he knows about Fi getting out the money. Good thing the dude has zero issue with rule breaking– for a man who claims to be on the side of the law, he sure ignores it a lot of the time. Which lbr is very fortunate for Thony, so I’m cool with it lol (ngl, getting real over his deportation threats though)

I find it like unreasonably irritating that the sign for The Clergy uses a cross to represent both an H and an L lol. I am now reading it as The Chergy haha. Also damn I was pumped to see Thony in goth wear, but ah well, I’m still into this outfit (undoubtedly borrowed from Fi). I know we’re definitely going to see Thony more dressed up at some point in this season, and the important thing is Arman being there to see it haha, so I guess we can skip it for now. Also ngl the concept of bathroom attendants makes me so uncomfortable but damn that was a genius move on her part, and I love that she canonically has the most sensibly stocked handbag ever lol

Ugh I feel for my boy Arman, this shit with Robert is clearly killing him. And then to be forced to basically be Robert’s errand boy? Must feel like he’s fallen a long way, almost right back to where he started. I liked Nadia reaching for his hand, checking in with him, but ngl it was satisfying to see him kind of brush it off haha

Wait what room is this?? An ensuite off of Fi’s room? This is truly an excessive amount of mirrors (and sinks!) lol

I so badly want Thony to get hit on by at least one woman in this bar lol. (It’s been far too long since her blatant popularity at Nadia’s party in 1x01 lol). But I guess I’ll have to content myself with the fact that she and Maya have more chemistry in this bathroom scene than either woman has had in any scene with Garrett hahaha. But oh Thony you really fell for that old fake name trick? Lol. BUT OKAY HOLD UP. “Who sent you? Was it Kamdar?” Holy shit. Not Cortez, KAMDAR. I did not see that coming, and oh man everything just got real incestuous all of a sudden– so Garrett has asked Thony (a person of interest in his current case) to check on his ex, who is caught up with a drug ring (which was his old case), a ring which apparently involves Robert, who happens to be Nadia’s ex, and who has now forced Arman (and by extension, Thony) into doing business with him. Damn, that is one tangled web and I am honestly really excited about it?? Also oooh if Arman and Nadia do what I suspect and start selling street drugs, then Robert will be sure to find out and get pissed off, and that would be one way for Thony to find out about it. Man I would actually love to see that, as upsetting as the ensuing Armony fight would be. For now though I really hope that Thony mentions her suspicions about Kamdar to Arman, but given that that would require explaining the Garrett angle (and we all know how Arman responds whenever Garrett is mentioned haha) maybe she won’t. Speaking of Garrett, Maya’s line about him not sending people like Thony into places they shouldn’t be definitely gives a little insight into Maya’s own experience as a CI…

Ugh Arman really needs to tone down the sexy gangster vibe a little, that leather jacket makes it very hard for me to focus. Also the “Are you seriously going to hit an old man?” and “I’ve done worse”-- okay I immediately want to hear about every single instance of those worse things lol. For… reasons. Gotta hand it to this incredibly vanilla-looking son though lol, not only did he manage to sneak up on Arman (that’s a bit of a stretch tbh) but he legit took him on with a tennis racquet?? I kind of respect that haha. And ngl I enjoy how swiftly and perfunctorily Arman neutralises him, like this is just another day in the office. Just saying though, that oxygen tubing would have for sure snapped under that kind of strain lol. It is not exactly designed to be hardy stuff. But ugh the look on Arman’s face as the son runs to get the money, my poor boy hates having to do this :(

They really highlighted the ‘you are on camera’ sign in this motel office lol. Which means thony was on camera when she went in there that night, and now Fi is on camera too… and a lot of other people, apparently? lol. Also other than being a creepy perv, the amount of animal heads on the walls also immediately makes me like this guy even less…

Okay Nadia being really into football is very hot haha. And oooh I love that as Arman walked in with the money, hating what he’d been forced to do, he would have seen Nadia and Robert smiling and sharing a drink at the bar. No wonder he threw the money down like that and practically dragged her out of there haha, like he didn't give up his closeness with Thony just for Nadia to cozy up with Robert!

Oh Fiona. If there was an award for making bad decisions, you’d definitely be in the running lol. And oh the naivete of thinking he’d delete the video… and of trying to threaten him with going to the cops about him filming customers, when that very footage would get Chris caught for Marco’s manslaughter? Oh honey. The physical struggle was hard to watch but omg that crack over the head and that scream?? Comedy gold haha. Poor woman just cannot catch a break lately (nor can any of our faves, tbh.) And now I guess we wait for next week to see if he’s actually dead (if so, wow, the felonies just keep piling up for this family lol) or if she just caused him to have a very impromptu nap lol. Either way, can't wait to see Arman come and rescue her and earn some points as her future brother in law lol

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 2x02 recap

Guess who’s back with even more thoughts?? 2x02 time let’s gooo

Ugghhhh the location of this ‘prison’ is gonna haunt me I stg. These damn hills are so familiar to me and yet I cannot pinpoint where the bloody thing is. Looks like this will be on my list to hunt down next year ugh 

Okay all of these security checks seem excessive when there is literally going to be a glass barrier between them anyway?? Also last ep Nadia got to bring in her bag but it seems like Thony didn’t? C'mon show I need consistency here lol. Tbh I’m sad that they don’t get to use the visitation room from 1x10 anymore, bc lbr we all know how much I wanted them to be able to touch their feet together under the table bc they can't hold hands lol

Anyway the important thing is that my boy is back on his feet, which makes me want to know how long has passed since his attack? Like a week? Seems like an appropriate amount of time to recover from multiple stab wounds and to be back in GenPop… tbh it can’t really be longer than a week given the state of his facial swelling. Also I’m gonna assume that he and Thony haven’t spoken since the call last ep, but he’s probably been able to speak to Nadia, and she has passed on updates to both sides?? So Thony knows about the attack, and he knows about Marco, even if neither of them have details?

But oh man the utter dismay on Thony’s face when she sees him, this is what I live forrrr. Did he know that his visitor was her? Or did he assume it was Nadia, and that’s why he looked like he was steeling himself to deal with her drama (lbr, she’s highly-strung lol) when he walked in?? But ugh instead he seems to slump a little and gives a sigh when he sits down across from her; he looks so tired and I love that he doesn’t have to hide that in front of her the way he would for Nadia 

“Look what they did to you”-- omg. This is literally the closest to wearing her heart on her sleeve that Thony has ever gotten and I'm dying?? The emotion in it?? The very not-platonic intensity??? Ngl I also love that her first words are such an inane statement, like she is literally so overwhelmed rn that she can barely even do words. (especially since the words that were probably screaming in her head from the moment she saw him were some very intense ones in Khmer, and I would have died to have heard her speak those aloud lol) 

But wait wtf excuse me how dare the scene cut there??? That better not be all we get or I will riot???

Also ugh Garrett. I don’t caaaare about you. Although it is handy that our baes are still able to go ahead and bribe the judge lol. Wait, Russo is leaving to go to Miami? I wonder if this is a plot thing or a ‘the actor wants out’ thing?? I will actually miss her ugh

Oh thank god we’re back at the prison. (words that people other than me probably never say lol). And okay I love that she literally came to visit Arman the moment he was out of the infirmary, even before Nadia it seems?? And ugh he asks about Luca (again, I’m assuming he already knew about Marco through Nadia, and lbr I’m probably going to do a fill-in fic for the rest of the conversation at some point lol) but anyway oh lord “how are you holding up?” and THEN “I feel like I’ve failed everyone” followed by DIRECT EYE CONTACT and ugghhhhh he knows she’s not just talking about Marco and Luca anymore and god he looks like he wants to hug her so badly (that little head tilt as he leans in?? help??) and he immediately makes it clear that he doesn’t blame her and she shouldn’t blame herself either ughhh. Also I love the choice the writers made here by having him be so soft when reassuring Thony and then only getting sharp/frustrated when talking about Nadia hahaha

“Be careful in here”/“That’s not how you survive”-- Wow, what a great character study in only a handful of words?? Also this feels like it’s going to be one of the themes this season, like the S2 version of “not the right way or the wrong way, but any way you can”. But oh man poor Thony is going to be extra worried about him now… as she watched him walk away, was she suddenly afraid that this might be the last time she'd ever see him alive??

Garrett has a very impressive habit of showing up where he’s not wanted. (Although to be fair, he’s not wanted anywhere, so…). Ngl though it does look kinda bad for her to be visiting Arman at this point in time given that she’s meant to be the grieving widow. Also “I know you had nothing to do with your husband’s death” sure sounds a lot like “I suspect that you had something to do with your husband’s death” lol. But he actually genuinely does seem to want to help her still, which he chooses to do by not shutting up about her staying away from Arman. Good luck with that one, buddy. God I love how pissed she looks when he brushes off Arman’s attack as ‘bad guys taking each other out’ omg. Honestly how was I ever afraid that this show would try to pull a Garrett/Thony/Arman love triangle, she literally cannot stand him like 90% of the time and it’s glorious hahahahaaaaaaa

“I’m here because Arman saved Luca’s life, and he deserves to know that he’s safe”. omg. Thony. That is… that is so incredibly weak?? like at least come up with a better explanation?? She literally basically went with “oh yeah my boss helped get surgery for my son like a two and a half weeks ago so now I am visiting him in prison to tell him that my son is now safe and sound after being abducted by his now-dead father, which was an event that by all accounts he should have had no idea about in the first place.” WHY WOULD THIS CONCERN YOUR TOTALLY PLATONIC ‘BOSS’, THONY? Like god you are doing an amazing job of announcing to Garrett that yours and Arman’s relationship is far more than just professional (though lbr, they all already know this lol.)

Oh hi again, ABQ airport!  I remember you well haha. Also omg Fi’s dad is so little? And her mum is beautiful, wow– though she really doesn’t look much older than Fi herself haha. This is going to irk me a tiny bit but I guess I can roll with the idea she had kids very young?? And damn Thony really is persona non grata with these guys huh? So much for “my mother always loved you more than me” like Fi said in early S1… 

Oh wow it feels weird to get subtitles for the Tagalog?? I’m so used to the show making us just figure it out ourselves. But I guess they were a bit more necessary to follow the plot this time. Also the cheerfulness/excitement of the greeting at home feels a bit weird considering they’re there because of a death in the family, but I guess it is a pretty special reunion/first meeting all the same? Man bereavement is weird.

Okay I am going to need to go back and look at kitchen scenes from S1 bc I stg there wasn’t a door there before. And who has a front door that opens directly into the kitchen anyway?? But I do like the look of this Detective Flores, she seems badass (and that accent is hot), even if her presence is immediately stressful lol. I'll ignore the fact that there's no way it would have taken a detective this long to come and question Thony about Marco though, it's been like a week!! Anyway I love that after the extremely uncomfortable response to her questioning/accidentally starting a family fight she’s like ‘ok yeah I’mma go’ and Thony is immediately like ‘oh god thank you’ lolll 

Okay potentially unpopular opinion here, but I just can’t see Nadia and Robert as being a thing?? I mean I could believe that they were previously together (he’s handsome and rich, and Nadia is very attracted to power, after all), but they don’t have the chemistry of two people who were once in love. He has more the vibe of someone who is looking at something he once possessed and wants to add back to his collection, not someone who actually genuinely cared about her. And tbh I think Naveen is amazing but I just don’t think he was the right casting for this role at all. But idk who knows, maybe he’ll change my mind.  I guess I was just hoping for someone amazing who would really sweep Nadia off her feet and out of the way of Armony lol

I enjoy this guy’s comment about Arman ‘taking the crown’-- feels like a nod to 1x10 (“The Crown” lol). Also lbr I would want to have Arman on my prison crew too lol. But oh shit he’s really gonna go after Hayak??

I don’t even have kids and I’m annoyed on Thony’s behalf at Lolo trying to parent her child for her lol. Shut your face, buddy, you can’t exactly give parenting advice when your son turned out to be an asshole and your daughter moved to another country to be away from you. Also, telling her she spoils Luca? Pot calling the kettle black much??

“Everything I did, I did for my son” man those words are starting to sound almost worn out now, like she’s repeated them so many times by this point– but lbr we all know that that’s not the whole truth Thony. But awww at Fi defending her, I love these sisters-by-choice <3

“You made my son feel like he was not enough” excuse me that sounds like a Marco problem, not a Thony problem??? God why don’t people just go to goddamn therapy and stop blaming everyone else for their own shit?? Also HELL NO you are not taking Luca back to the philippines lol, I legit dare you to try get him away from Thony the Mama Bear without losing a limb lol

Huh Thony’s bed is gone?? Did they move it while the guests are there or has she been sleeping in with Luca now that he doesn’t need the infection control anymore??

Oooh I found this location (where Chris sits on the curb after riding his bike) too! Literally recognised the building from a distance while driving on the interstate haha. Though it's a shame I didn't realise that it was the curb itself that was the important part lol. I also love that there are literally crew in the background of the shot while he was riding the bike lol, I haven’t seen the show have an ‘error’ like that before

Super cool shot with the train going past in the background! Still pissed I can’t figure out where the prison is haha. Also goddamn Arman is badass, casually sitting there bleeding through his shirt while staring Hayak down. We stan a sexy ruthless king lol

Aw, looks like Thony got her buddha necklace back from Garrett in the end! I kind of also love that she’s wearing it too bc I’m certain that Marco and his parents are catholic lol. What a power move/symbol that she follows her own path rather than theirs. Also it’s interesting to learn that Marco was a few years older than Fi– he was such a brat that I assumed he was the younger brother until she referred to him by ‘Kuya” (a term for an older brother/relative) in the last ep...

Nadia’s voice sounds deeper and older on this phone call?? Maybe alll this stress with Arman has aged her lol.  I really do feel for her… but not enough to not be cheering for Armony haha

Damn Thony really is desperate to keep Arman safe if she is risking missing her own husband’s funeral to help get him out?? That’s what you call endgaaaaame lol

I cannot stress enough how much I do not care about Garrett and Maya lol  *mentally fast forwards through scene*

Robert: *brusquely gestures at Thony with a pool cue*  Me: oh I think I hate him? Robert: *makes Thony strip off right in front of him, and even makes her let him help undress her*  Me: oh I definitely 100% hate him IMMEDIATELY AND FOREVER. Honestly, what an absolute bastard. Nadia is way too good for him, how could she ever even consider being with him again?? I’m so incredibly pissed about this moment for many reasons, mostly from the act of emotional violence that it is, and oh man I hope Arman finds out about it and tears Robert apart with his bare hands for disrespecting Thony like that…

Ngl though, I kind of do love that she clearly only went through with it bc it was for Arman. Our girl really is ride or die for him ugh. Also, “No one pays attention to the cleaning lady”-- except Arman did, from the moment he saw you. Ugghh help me. And ugh Robert talking about making her clean stressed me out so much. I hate this creep SO MUCH. 

“You remind me of [Marco]”-- not the compliment you think it is, Lola. Poor Chris is having a Bad Time lol

Feeling super annoyed that this incredibly unrealistic prison infirmary setup is preventing me from enjoying shirtless Arman undisturbed lol (because holy hell, Thony needs to burn all of this man’s shirts so we get treated to this view all the time haha). But yeah, as someone who has worked (admittedly, only briefly) in a prison infirmary in the past, this setup is legit ridiculous lol. But then again, it is the US, so maybe that's just how things are done over there haha

“No one can pin me down” / “Unfortunately, neither could your wife” okay dude I don’t want Russo to leave, the only good part of Garrett’s scenes are when she (or Thony) is absolutely dragging him lol

Nadia speaks French?? That’s hot. (As is everything she does, lbr.)

Wait, is Garrett at the funeral bc he suspects Thony has something to do with the money? Or with Marco’s death? Or did he come intending to pay his respects but then got a weird vibe? Like dude why do you keep showing up everywhere, I’m sick of your face

That’s one very expensive orchid.

Okay I cannot believe that this show not only gave us shirtless Arman being patched up (ps dear prison doctor, I will trade places with you any time), but it also gave us an entire shirtless fight scene in the showers??? The TCL writers are benevolent gods and I am their most grateful subject lol. Ngl I may have paused this scene quite a bit… for, uh, science. Also bless you wonderful gifmakers for already taking care of this lol. Tbh I'm slightly upset about the fact that this ep gave us the gloriousness that is both Thony and Arman half-naked, and yet it was in totally separate (and somewhat unfortunate) scenes lol. A goddamn tragedy tbh. And ok ngl I now have a sudden desperate need for Thony to see Arman shirtless.... c'mon writers you know you wanna do it

Anyway, respect to Hayak for actually taking on Arman himself, though we all know he wouldn’t have dared if Arman wasn’t already significantly wounded lol. He knows he’s outmatched otherwise. Also daaamn, the knot on this freaking towel is the strongest thing in the universe apparently?? lol. Another tragedy haha. And okay I know I’m going on and on about this, but literally HOW was he so unsupervised in the infirmary that he could possibly get hold of something like that??  (What is it supposed to be, anyway?? Bc I know what medications are likely to be stored in a cupboard like that and I know what medications could conceivably kill that fast and there is not a whole lot of crossover there lol) 

But anyway yeah the whole syringe thing is ridiculous but I will roll with it lol. Just as i will ignore the even more ridiculous “I always loved you more than my own son” hahahaha. (Tbh there’s been a little bit of cliched dialogue in this ep but I will overlook it out of love).  But damn, “It won’t be long now. Your heart will seize and it’ll be done” actually does sound pretty badass?? Moral of the story, DO NOT FUCK WITH ARMAN MORALES lol 

(although ok I gotta question how he’s not going to get caught for this murder? Any death in custody gets an automatic autopsy, and they’ll find the injection site, and surely there’s cameras around the infirmary that show he was just there earlier, soooo? But nvm it’s fiction so *shrug*)

Man the dynamic between Chris and Luca is going to be so fascinating now. And imagine like an 18 year old Luca finding out that his cousin-brother killed his father? Tho lbr by that point Arman will be the only father he remembers :P

 I like Fi’s mum and I love that Fi finally got to hear that she’s proud of her, but tbh I still can’t excuse the terrible parenting for Fi’s whole life. “We thought that you were stronger” BRO SHE WAS A CHILD??? Good lord.  

The dad though??? Like I know all too well the impact that grief and loss can have, but damn the entitlement of him wanting to basically steal Luca to use him as a do-over of Marco? Gross. And acting like Luca’s connection to him through Marco gives him more of a right to have Luca than Luca’s own mother???? C’mon now. So glad Thony called him out on it and put her foot down, even if the issue didn’t actually get clearly resolved….   

Okay EXCUSE ME WHAT. Are the writers kidding me with this imagery of Arman leaving his prison and walking free out into the light, overlaid with Thony reciting a sacrament so fitting that it could have been written solely for him???? I feel like I fucking ascended to a higher plane during this scene, bc jesus christ I have been to some of the most famous places of worship in the world and yet none of them felt as holy as my couch did while I experienced this moment. Not only did it have that sense of connected-even-at-a-distance that the ‘Someone To Watch Over Me’ scene in 1x07 evoked, but it took it even further, because even though this scene very clearly involved them engaging with their respective spouses (indirectly in Thony’s case of course), it was undeniably an Armony scene, and I’m sorry but I am going to be an utter mess about this forever?? And the fact that the writers chose to have Nadia remove his sunglasses– symbolically removing a ‘mask’ and letting him see the light– rather than showing the two of them kissing (even though I’m sure they probably did kiss, only moments later, though I’m grateful we didn’t have to see it lol) was legit incredible and have I mentioned I’m in love with this entire writers’ room or??????

Ugh okay that's all for now, but I guess I'll see you all next week for more of this show sending me literally insane. Help.

[the1northlanderprincess]

To touch or not to touch...

Well, thanks to our secret intern friend at FOX, we got some exclusive clips from the finale. And one of them is a pretty UST-filled scene with Arman and Thony.

Spec and meta with spoilers under the cut!

Okay, so Thony comes to Arman’s office, he looks out the window as he shuts the door. It’s like he doesn’t want someone specific to see them. He scans her over as he approaches her. He’s making sure she’s really there, safe, in one piece. It’s likely the first time they’ve seen each other since before Luca’s surgery. He asks how she is in a tone of voice that I can’t get over! It’s husky, low, but he sounds like a different man; younger, even. He’s speaking like a concerned lover. I love it.

Thony stares up at him, drinking him in for a moment the same way he did, before she answers that she’s okay. He bites his lip, maybe not quite believing her because he knows what she’s gone through. But he doesn’t push it, and asks about Luca. She says he’ll be fine. His faces lightens up a little, please to hear it. Curious, though...he looks incredibly jumpy; he’s anticipating something. She is, too, before she asks how he is. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw. They were waiting for each other to make a move; either to hold each other in their arms, or kiss. Something made them stop. Either it wasn’t the right place (didn’t want to risk anyone seeing them), or it wasn’t the right time.

However, that all seemingly changes later in the episode, when they meet on the rooftop club. I feel like I’ve already said this a zillion times, but it bears repeating: Arman’s going to tell Thony he doesn’t want to go along with the FBI’s plan. She fires back, saying he could be killed. I assume at that point, he’ll put his hands on her arms, and rub them. He gazes at her with all the sincerity and care in the world, and asks if she trusts him. Her replying expression, which I talked about earlier in a separate post, is one of worry and sadness. It practically is shouting at Arman “Baby, please don’t ask this of me; I’m concerned, and I love you too much to let you do this”. But I have a feeling she will say yes.

So, what allows Arman and Thony to stare into each other’s souls in such an open place instead in the privacy of his office? I think it’s fairly simple: they know it could be the last time they see one another, and think, screw it. As some suggested on the Blue Bird, as well as what @nat111love mentioned in her tags, they are done taking crap from everyone else and just going to do what they feel for and with the one they love, whether it’s said or not. I’d really like to see a forehead touch before Arman sends her on her way, or a forehead kiss, to wish her luck and say goodbye. Right now I’m giving 60/40 odds of a kiss or hug. But, if this arm rubbing and soulful glances are all we get in that scene, I’d be...mostly okay with it.