#all of them magnificent and layered and motivated and shit

[just-spacetrash]

📖

[myassbrokethefall]

xf rewatch: ice/space/fallen angel

one thing about me is I know how important it is to stick to a consistent posting schedule. anyway here’s 3 more XF rewatch writeups after weeks of silence

ice

Ice doesn’t deserve to be just lumped in here, but I watched it forever ago and I’ve seen it a million times and no one needs my thoughts on it anyway. Biggest Ice takeaways this time through:

this is M&S’s, and our, first truly grownup episode. M&S have been faffing around in their shoulder pads debating about whether aliens are real and if a jersey devil could be a girl and and certainly getting in scrapes/close calls, but this shit is SERIOUS. like they could die. and they know it. and this ep feels it. they are scared, they are wild-eyed and sweaty in their casual thermals and this is not just investigating a Case or intellectual sparring. there is no remove. no one is wearing a suit or renting a car or buying an office sandwich from the cart. they keep getting in deeper and deeper and it is out of control and scary and real as shit

that exterior shot with the extremely fake Rudolph snowflakes is used, I believe my final count was, 472 times. and was hilarious to me each and every time.

ice is a magnificent ep, no notes. we knew this

space

Space is… not good, which is not news but allow me to attempt to pinpoint why:

pacing so bad. like in the beginning some stuff (conveyed mostly through stock footage) is happening and then suddenly mulder and scully are there and it’s like, a case I guess? this lady walks up to them and shows them this photo that looks like nothing and spends like an hour explaining it to them and is like the fbi has to investigate this! and mulder and scully are like oh, well we’re the fbi so we can do that. then they go to nasa and just stand around

listen I love, LOVE a good nerd infodump but even for me it was all getting deeply tedious and I ceased being able to, or having the will to, follow what was going on. And I just read and enjoyed all 864 pages of Seveneves. Having scully stand next to mulder and he has to keep explaining to her every space thing as it happens just adds this extra layer of shellac over everything. it’s like when you’re on a plane and you kind of half-voluntarily watch a movie in the row ahead of you through the seat backs. primo chris carter “tell don’t show.”

the whole car accident sequence is a facepalm from beginning to end. the car literally FLIPS OVER, michelle is in there yelling and sounding mostly just mildly pissed off, mulder keeps chirping “y’all right?” like she tumbled into a snowbank in a hallmark movie, then bodily drags her out from her flipped-over car that she is trapped under, and THEN scully goes “now, don’t try to move.” thanks doc! then michelle just goes back to NASA, with blood dripping down her face (which continues actively dripping throughout the scene, with no trace of a scar the next day). couldn’t hitting a tree have conveyed the sense of “a malevolent space monster made me lose control of my driving” just as well? presumably the car explodes as soon as they leave. and no one minds.

I realize this is not an easy thing to replicate on a budget, but my god “mission control” is sad-looking. it looks like it was filmed inside the janitor’s closet at a puppet theater. and the only person who works there is that one guy who I am informed was a canadian vj on MuchMusic and who has literally all the dialogue. (counterpoint: hard for me not to compare to For All Mankind, which does all this a million times better, but deeply unfair to do so since that's not only 25 years later but the theme on which this episode is kind of the saddest crackerjackiest variation is their show's entire job and budget.)

Mulder And Scully At The (NASA) Library: Approved. Love how they just leave the file they spent hours searching for when they run out.

what even was the motivation of the space/mars guy. to get back to space? to kill everyone? to kill everyone but only after getting back to space first? to bring down more space/mars guys to cause dramatically bad car accidents where everyone is fine? yes I know the REAL motivation is "give mulder and scully a semi-plausible paranormal reason to go to nasa and stand around"

the “everyone cheers in mission control because a scary/tense space thing was accomplished and everyone is ok” moment happened I think 3 separate times?? chris come on

this episode is still like 5x as coherent and watchable as any of CC’s revival episodes (other than Plus One).

one good thing is the space face morphing or whatever was super cool/creepy and holds up quite decently as an effect. also scully saw it!! well that’s cool! she doesn’t really seem to have any particular thoughts about that or anything though. you might think Mulder would bring that up more in the future. (morgan & wong: “well scully can’t SEE the paranormal thing so let’s have her juuuust miss it! twice!” chris carter: *file not found*)

I get that CC wanted to make a tense NASA episode, I like that genre of thing, and I appreciate that they took a stab at it but in the end, the execution was not the greatest. nor was the concept. ah well.

fallen angel

fallen angel was a friggin breath of fresh air after space, and I remembered NOTHING about it beyond a bit of Max and “the enigmatic Dr. Scully.”

the gordon/gansa ripping off of scifi classics continues apace as the whole evacuating for a “toxic spill” that is really a UFO is of course straight out of Close Encounters.

although I (correctly) complained about this in Space, I actually liked how we got sort of sideways-pulled into this one, with the scenario setup first and then we see Mulder (only Mulder) skulking around while we are flashing back to Deep Throat giving him the lowdown. immediately understandable that this is kind of an off-book adventure for him (leather jacket for forest hiking, perfect). And super satisfying when Scully gets her hero’s entrance to bail him out (and yell at him).

it was fun getting an idea of mulder as UFO Celebrity. always mobbed by fans while in air force jail. rough. (also funny to see his sheepishness at getting called out for writing an article in Omni about UFO sightings under a fake name)

Loved Scully getting pulled into some clutch doctoring. Just some great dimension for her as well/a reminder that she has her own areas of expertise and this FBI sidekick situation is not all she can do. (she is also still heartbreakingly in her "the government cannot do that! you are entitled to the truth!" phase.) I also loved when she marches glassy-eyed into Mulder’s motel room after a long rough night and wordlessly opens the fridge.

I liked the bit where mulder is talking about Max being an abductee and scully is all, mulder he's unreliable and he might be psychotic blah blah and mulder goes, scully you don’t get it, HE doesn’t think he’s an abductee, I think it. Also brings back a bit of what I liked so much in the pilot and earliest eps: scully being like mulder your crazy alien voodoo isn't gonna work on me!!! a martian didn't eat those livers!!! and mulder being like, scully, all I am asking is that you look at a scar and give me your medical opinion. he's not trying to talk her into anything and that's how he GETS YA

Interesting to see how they're still throwing out whatever alien concepts at this point. they are benevolent and send reassuring messages through the tv to loved ones? sure. they are evil spirits that possess astronauts' faces before killing them? got it. they're invisible/use cloaking devices to pass through lasers? duly noted.

I’m not sure the ending worked great but that’s ok. Gotta end it somehow. I found myself glad to know that we will be seeing Max again.

On a scale between Ice where Mulder and Scully are believably layered humans, frightened but determined, shakily wielding their authority one minute and losing their shit in realistically overlapping off-camera arguments in the next, and Space where they are sidelined Mary Sues in a half-baked NASA fanfic that could have used another beta, Fallen Angel is somewhere in the middle. Good ep, not great. But that yearning feeling that XF was so good at is present here. Something big is happening and it's JUST beyond where we can see. gotta see it. gotta keep searching. it's out there (the truth)

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 95: Love Again Part 2

Well boys we back on it again!  I hope you’re ready cause I’ve been spending most of this week after the response pumping out response images for this next part! So let’s waste no more time and jump right into it!

…

Oh shut up, you know you laughed at it.

So we start off with one of mah boi Bee’s favorite pages!  Just look at this great update of a page!  Just jam packed with so much stuff to sink your teeth into, and digest.   It’s a magnificent piece that is not only worth waiting 2 full days to see, but waiting 2 to 3 more days to see what’s next!  And while I was not a dedicated reader, waiting hours on end for when this page update I can only imagine how elated those readers who did wait, must’ve been to see this page!  

No wonder this chapter’s 50 pages long… AND IT CONTINUES!

Okay, okay, no I’m not really going to bitch about these splash pages and how fucking tedious and restless it would’ve made me as a serial reader to go into this.  Partly, because the way I’m reading these now and with the rant series of going chapter by chapter was all inspired by the great advice by Bear Kidney that he gave me years ago on the forum.  That the “proper” way to read BCB is as full chapters, and to just wait for them to be finished…

Which meant in order for an average person to read this “properly” they’d have to wait…

Five full months…

Sure!  But since we are reading this “properly” I will say that these splash pages do help to set the pace.  It  sets the tone for this scene pretty well and makes us slow down and appreciate what’s happening, and immerse ourselves into the past.  

But enough praise! You know what’s coming, I know what’s coming!  Let’s get to it!  I’m ready! I’m hungry for some strawberry pancakes! Let’s tear int-

Wait what?

Right when I have to transfer?  Wait, this is a flashback right?  Is she talking about the private school?  I thought we only learned about this private school thing this chapter.  What is she-

THEM?  Do what?  Uhhhhh What?!  A-am I missing something here?  This is a flashback to when Lucy attempts suicide, right?  This is after December, I thought that’s why she did that.  Is that not it?  Am I missing something?!  I THOUGHT I WAS ALL PREPARED WHAT THE HELL?  

Okay so this IS about the new school?  Okay. Why?  I thought what happened in December was enough!  Was it not enough?  Did that just push her further into this point?  Wait, no.  This had to be after December.  So the move was done because of December?  So the first course of action upon realizing Lucy had been acting depressed was to immediately move her to a new place?  No like therapy or anything?  No counseling?  What the…

Okay, hold that thought one second here, I need to resort to a third-party source on this shit.  

Hello?  Yes, I’m doing the rant and I am now not only angry but very confused!  You’ve read further into the comic than me, what the fuck is Lucy talking about here?!

….

WHAT?!  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE WAS A SCENE WHERE THEY MENTIONED LUCY MOVING AWAY?!  I DON’T REMEMBER ANY SCENE LIKE…wait a second…

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TALKING ABOUT THIS SCENE?!  HOLY CRAP, EVEN I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SCENE!  What the fuck?!  You mean this one little scene.   This little one-page moment shuffled in early, in a chapter that had its own memorable bits of drama and character moments that easily overshadow it; was not only meant to be a very important scene that hints at  one of the main reasons Lucy is trying to kill herself…BUT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO- NO WE WERE *EXPECTED* TO HOLD ONTO THIS ONE LITTLE BIT OF DIALOGUE FOR ALMOST FIVE FUCKING YEARS IF WE WANTED TO FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY LUCY’S ATTEMPTING TO KILL HERSELF?!  

Yeah, thinking about it I’m not that surprised, honestly.   And people think I’m crazy for looking this deeply into the comic and characters and motivations.  Apparently, I wasn’t looking hard enough!  Jesus, good thing I missed that.  If I knew that Sam was so on board with not letting Lucy have say on her treatment, or what happens to her, January would’ve crumbled apart!  Not to mention, according to this False Idol shouldn’t have happened since Lucy would’ve been moved away before the summer…

Hey by the way, do we get any follow up on what exactly Lucy did while she was in that private school? Like how was her treatment, care, and stuff?  How she was doing?

Why are you laughing?

Alright, I’m not gonna lie. I felt something there.  You got me, Taeshi.  This bit of paneling.  The build up, the expressions, it works here.  But sadly I’d be remised if I didn’t make this joke.

You know I had to do it to em’.

But instead she goes for the cannonball!  Bold move there, Cotton!  Let’s see if it pays off!

Oof!  She’s gonna lose a lot of points for not sticking the landing. But I still give it a 5/10 for style points.   Okay, okay, I joke but I gotta give props to this scene for well execution (…no pun intended)

The structure of this page is very well done, and reminds me of Korean style of web paneling which uses a lot of negative space and vertical structure to build tension, and slow down the reader’s pace by forcing them to scroll down in order to read forward.  If you’ve seen any of those Korean horror webcomics you’ll know what I mean.  It’s very effective, and it works to build this tension and intrigue into what happened.   It’s a very good trick, and Taeshi’s use of it here is very nice.  It’s just…

What….

What the fuck?  

WHAT THE FUCK?!  YOU BUILT THIS SCENE UP FOR YEARS AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET?!  YOU FUCKING HACK!  YOU WERE DOING SO WELL!  IF YOU JUST TOOK IT SLOW FOR ONE SECOND, AND NOT FUCKING GO OVER THE TOP WITH YOUR EXECUTION OF SCENES!  THE ONE TIME! THE ONE SCENE THAT DESERVED TO STAND ON ITS OWN AND HAVE A FUCKING OUNCE OF SUBTLETY AND REALISM, AND YOU COULDN’T FUCKEJWOIGHSLKDA;J

HGNGKJFJLGKFHBN LFKGJHLLJDFGKLJ;LHKGFLKJIUCUCBITCHLKJBVKJLHKJXHCVH

*WHUMP*

Uhhh…

WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED RANT TO BRING YOU BIOLOGY CLASS WITH DR. CAS MARIE!

Hello, kids!  Did you know, that hidden inside every animal including you, me, and sharks.  Is this thing we call a skeleman!  And he brings with him these things called “bones”  which are integral for not only fast movement, and articulation in our moving parts, but also they help keep our vital organs safe by surrounding our heart, lungs, and livers. We’ll get more into him in a second, but just know he lives inside almost every living creature!

Well except for invertebrates….

Fuck invertebrates! Think you’re so bad, just cause you ain’t got no bones!

But anyway, beyond that skeleman has with him his best friend.  MUSCLE MAN!  Who is sort of like a squishy version of the skeleman.  He is the one who keeps the skeleman safe.  For you see kids, the skeleman’s bones are very hard, pretty dense too if you drink your bone juice!  But that hardness makes him very brittle.  That’s why muscle man is here to add a tough layer on top of the skeleman. But that’s not all he does!  He sort of acts like a bunch of rubber bands that tighten up in order to perform actions and move those lazy bones!  Cause bones can’t move themselves.  Now these muscles are controlled subconsciously through the central nervous system.  That might sound like some big words, but the central nervous system when talking about the skeleman refers to the skull as well as the central part of the skeleman.  And what’s in the center of the skeleman? 

WHY IT’S THE SPINE OF COURSE!  And directly attached to that, is the brain!  The spine serves as the main messenger for the body to tell everything else what to do!  Limbs, organs, and all that good stuff.  It’s why the spine is the most important bone of them all!  Without a spine, you would literally not function, and die.  Now I know you’re all very intrigued, but before we go any further there’s a little experiment I’d like you folks at home to try real quick!

Take your hand, and place it on top of your belly.  Now give it a nice squish, just a little jiggle.  Now lift up your arm, and squish your hey babies with the other arm.  You feel that?  Feel that squish?  Feel that jiggle?  

That’s what’s known as “fat” like when I say “You fat fucking slob.” It makes our bodies more buoyant, as well as protect our nice tight muscle man, with a pliable squishy layer right under the skin!  Now of course, some parts of the body have more fat than others, as the fat is meant to protect vital parts of the body and its functions such as the breasts, the thighs, and of course the abdomen!  While we’re talking about skin, there’s an interesting fact about skin.  You see, skin is meant to withstand blunt force very well.  Often times, you’ll notice that skin will scrape, bruise, bend, and squish, but hardly break except for certain circumstances like if you used a sharp object on it.  This is because the skin is meant to absorb and be pliable enough that it’s a bit hard to tear with blunt force.  Usually whenever it does, it’s due to the skeleman’s bones breaking and causing a tear from under the skin for the blood to come out or when it is pinched between the hard bone and a hard surface such as asphalt.   This is why you’ll often hear the term “internal bleeding” thrown around during certain traumatic injuries. Because while the skin layer hasn’t broken, there is still something inside the body that is bleeding, but it’s not coming out of the body because of the skin layer!  Not to say of course, that you can’t of course break skin through sheer blunt force trauma.  But it would take a lot of force that would most definitely cause you more problems than just breaking the skin.  Now I hope you were taking lessons back there, because POP QUIZ HOTSHOT!  I got a surprise question for you~  With everything I’ve said about the human body and how it is able to take blunt force trauma, please tell me.

HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!  AND HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT WITHOUT ANY LOSS OF LIMB, SCARRING, OR LASTING EFFECT?!

I’m sorry, but you can not achieve that sort of blood splatter by sheer force of gravity alone. Or if you did, then this scene should’ve been more like this!

The only explanation I’ve heard that makes any sense is that there was just some random ass rock that was there that Lucy landed on that.  Which. Okay, then.  Okay, sure.  Yeah, okay. Then how the fuck do you survive that? That is no small wound based on the amount of blood that was expelled on impact.  And if this rock is big and sharp enough to cause that amount of blood loss on impact, it would be big and sharp enough to do immense damage to the abdomen. But oh that’s alright!  It’s just the abdomen, there’s nothing going on in there! It’s just your stomach, your liver, your kidneys, your colon, your womb (if you have one) your pancreas, your bladder, y’know stuff you don’t really need.  But of course if that gets compromised, and based on the force and damage you could easily break a rib, puncture a lung, and really fuck up your life. That’s not even counting what sort of damage the fall did on her arm!  That shoulder must be fucked!  Look at how its bent even!  You’re not moving that thing any time soon! Your pelvic bone must be shattered if this is the kind of force you took.  You are now a vegetable.  But that’s not even the biggest point!  That’s not the worst part, those things?  I know some of you are gonna say, “Oh Amazil, you’re not a doctor!   She could survive that!  People survive insane things like that all the time!”

Well okay, but riddle me this.  Let’s say the rock doesn’t kill her, and by some miracle none of her internals are FUBAR right now.  She didn’t cause a bone break, and destroy her limbs.  Remember what we said about the central nervous system.  The most important bone of the body is the spine and skull.  And one of the most vulnerable parts for the spine is the neck.  If you fall to the ground with enough velocity, the whiplash you should have from your body going from 60 to 0 in an instant should cause your neck to snap or leave you paralyzed for a good second if not immediately kill you because the force of momentum would carry all that velocity to make your head connect with the ground at its resting speed.  And while I know I said that skin is very hard to tear, y’know what makes it tear or break?  When the hard contact with the ground, meets hard contact with your hard skull!  If she landed so hard on a rock that blood spew out a good foot or two in front of her, how the hell does she not crack her head on the pavement?!  And don’t you give me no bullshit about the snow either!  I’m sorry Lucy, but by all accounts.

If this scene wasn’t a flashback and we knew Lucy wasn’t dead, there would be no doubt that she was fucking dead if we saw this.  

But it seems we aren’t alone in judging this scene.  Augustus is here too! (which we kinda already know because of how this scene was set up but nonetheless).  And he’s here to say

Wait, let me take a selfie an-

No…

Oh my fucking god…

OH MY GOD!  NO!

DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS RIGHT HERE?!  

NO LUCY THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE SAYING!  WHAT YOU SHOULD BE SAYING IS

Sgdslkhg;sldlkdshgknxcv;jhdf;kldgsasdn

Translation: OH GOD, PLEASE HELP THERE IS BLOOD CLEARLY POOLING IN MY MOUTH!  MY MOUTH IS FILLING WITH BLOOD!  THERE IS BLOOD IN MY LUNGS AND I CAN’T BREATHE!

Your body should be in shock right now!  You just suffered traumatic physical injury!  Your brain and body is still trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened.  You shouldn’t be this lucid, let alone this active and coordinated!  Not to mention, the first rule of dealing with someone who has suffered traumatic injury and is on the ground, is NEVER.  EVER. MOVE THE PERSON UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, AND IF YOU DO, YOU DO IT VERY SLOWLY AND AS CAREFULLY AS POSSIBLE.  This is because like I mentioned, Lucy’s body has suffered a lot of damage. Her spine could and should be fucked up after that fall.  And the reason every EMT or anyone who has the basic knowledge of first aid will tell you not to fucking move if you’ve suffered a traumatic fall, is because if you move and your spine WASN’T fucked up by that fall, it very easily WILL get fucked up if you try to move the body while it’s still injured! They are very careful about that shit, because if you slip up you turn a situation from salvageable, to fucking vegetable in one solid motion!  All it takes is just curving your spine a bit immediately after it’s suffered from the shock an-

Oh yeah kinda like that. That might do it or-

Oof, yeah arching your back like that and trying to crawl after a fall.  Yeah that ought to do it.  Add on top of this, the aforementioned likelihood she broke a rib, and is probably suffering from a pierced lung and oh yeah

And if you’re not double-dead, you are at the very least fucking paralyzed, or require some serious physical therapy.  You are not walking away from this.

What was that?

“UP here”?  

I-is this not the ground floor?  Is there a lower part to this?  DID LUCY FALL ONTO ANOTHER LEDGE?  QUICK LUCY! YOU CAN JUST ROLL OVER; YOU DIDN’T HIT THE ACTUAL GROUND APPARENTLY! THERE’S MORE FALLING YOU CAN DO TO FINISH THE JOB!  

Wh-what?  I-it’s a cut?  It’s just a cut?  What the…How…What is this scene?!  You mean to tell me the only injury she got was some abdominal cut?!  From falling off a building?  What?  Did she just see the first 2-story building she came across and say “oh that looks good enough, yeah that should do it!”  I swear to god.  It’s almost like…

It’s almost like…

She didn’t want to die. Maybe she was just doing it for att-

NO! NO! DON’T YOU DARE! THAT’S NOT TRUE!  YOU TAKE THAT SHIT BACK!  THAT’S NOT A POSSIBILITY! LUCY DID NOT DO THAT!  SHE IS BETTER THAN THAT!  SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THAT!  AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT’S THE CASE!

So a girl jumps off a building to try and kill herself.  But the height she falls from is so low that the only damage she got was from some random ass cut that she no doubt wasn’t expecting.  Despite the assumed physical trauma that would’ve come if she jumped from a height any person would assume to be lethal enough; she doesn’t have any physical impairments, no lasting damage that we can see 9 months after the fact, no scar, no limp, she doesn’t even seem to be taking it very seriously in the current time.  How else would you explain that, except that she didn’t put much thought into it.  The kind of thought people who attempt suicide would, in planning out their attempt, climbing those stairs, knowing the area, and finally committing to it.  Despite all that contemplating, she didn’t go high enough to do anything more than get a freak accidental injury.  How is that not a sign that maybe she wasn’t really trying to die.  

But hey, I don’t read this junk.  I’m just going off what I see here.  I don’t know this character. Do you think that would be out of character for her at this point?  What other reason would you have for someone surviving this, but not dying?

….

Maybe they have a lower force of gravity in this world?

Hmm…

Or maybe Taeshi’s just a fucking hack who decided to go over the top and add a stupid gore effect that was far too much; instead of keeping the scene simple, subtle, and letting the action speak for itself, with a realistic tone and visual to keep things grounded (no pun intended).  

Atta’ girl!  I knew you had it in you!  

But it’s such a shame. Looking at this script, I’m already close to eclipsing the rant I made for the first part of this chapter and it was all for this one fucking moment.  And you can call me harsh all you want, but this seriously pissed me off.  I remember when this page came out, I was fuming.  I broke my vow of illiteracy to check the previous pages just because I had to know what the fuck lead to this, and what the fuck was happening.  This one panel haunts me and is one of the few moments in BCB that legitimately triggers me, because of how poorly handled it was.  

This should’ve been a fucking bombshell moment.  This should’ve been the moment that shut my cynical, hardass mouth up or glue my jaw straight to the floor.  It should’ve been an awe inspiring moment where Taeshi really showed us and reminded us just how fucking great she can be.  This was a moment that everyone was waiting for with bated breath.  I remember, I created January years ago specifically because we didn’t get this sort of scene.  We didn’t get to see Lucy’s last struggle, or giving in.  We were just told that she was gone and faded away, leaving us hollow and wanting for more.  Yearning for years and years for resolution to come.  

And this is what we got.

FUCKING YAMCHA’D!  

But y’know what’s the best part?  And if you know me, and are familiar with my stuff you know damn well what I’m talking about.  The absolute best part about this whole fucking thing?  

I beat Taeshi to the punch by miles.  And not only that, but (and this is what really pisses me off) reading this page showed me that I gave more fucking respect and thought into this character and this moment than Taeshi did.  Because, y’know why?  Because of this.

That’s right.  Lucy was supposed to cry out and deny and fight Sue in January to let her die. Kind of like…

HRMMMMMMMMMM Now don’t get it twisted.  I’m not trying to make a comparison in saying that my idea of having Lucy fight with Susan to let her die is the same thing happening here.  What I’m talking about here, is this wonderful thing in storytelling called TONE.  And this scene, starting with that panel and Lucy’s reaction to Augustus kills what should’ve been a serious, and somber tone by adding in this layer of mystery, and doubt, and mistrust, and fear.  Which COULD’VE been interesting and done well to make us invested.  

Like oh no, what’s he doing? Who is he calling?

Oh my god, is he calling Alejandro?  Is this how Lucy dies? (although, I doubt there would be much he could do since she’s already dying.  Putting Alejandro in that mix would’ve just been weird, what’s he gonna do?  Beat up her corpse or something?)

Oh what a relief!  He’s calling an ambulance how nice, this is so relieving except wait-

WE ALREADY KNOW THAT AUGUSTUS IS GOING TO SAVE HER!  SO ALL THAT BULLSHIT TENSION IS POINTLESS!  So what did we learn or get from this scene?

We see how Lucy tried to kill herself.  Which was poorly done.  

We see how she was conflicted after Curtain Call with Mike talking to her about stuff.  

We see that her moving to some other place and getting transferred to a new school wasn’t just something that happened in response to her suicide attempt but was pre-planned.  

Okay.  

Let me go make a call and see if any of this gets brought up or used later on.

Dude I’m being serious here. Why do you keep laughing?  I just want to know if anything comes from the information from this scene.  Otherwise, what’s the fucking point of dropping this bomb here other than because Lucy’s here now so we must have this scene now.  

STOP LAUGHING!  

But what am I saying? We haven’t even talked about January yet!  So let’s do that shall we?  Cause I know you think I’m just tooting my own horn by saying I put more thought into January’s suicide attempt scene but allow me to indulge myself.  As I dive into one of the best scenes I’ve ever written.  A scene that I put all my heart and mind into, to make it the best it could be.  Because this character deserves it.

Right off the bat it is meant to make the reader perk up and raise a red flag to note that something is going on and you need to take notice.  If you’ve read January, you’ll know that it is a very wordy comic.  It’s jampacked with panels, words, jokes, dramatic moments, and it is meant to be a very fast paced comic that rarely slows down or shuts up.  So when greeted by six panel pages that are wordless, and seemingly benign it is meant to illicit intrigue into the reader, to make them wonder why has the train slowed down.

It doesn’t waste your time either, as only two pages later do we get words again but it only adds more mystery into what’s going on.  The paneling is still broken up, and scarce.  And as the reader follows along, the tension and mystery builds.  The lack of panels, the more prevalent backgrounds, it is visually demanding the reader slow down and immerse themselves into this scene and what is going on.  Sue acting as the surrogate for the reader, as she gains the information and is left questioning in tandem with the reader.  

And just as it dawns on the reader what’s going on, it dawns on Susan.  The tension builds, and the question shifts.  No longer asking what’s going on with this scene, but rather:  How can Sue stop this?  Or Can she stop this?  

And at the same time, we are being drip fed Lucy’s words and perspective.  We know what’s about to happen, it’s no longer a mystery.  And the tension mounts until the final moment…

This is why I give props to the canon for its portrayal of Lucy’s jump.  It was well done, well paced.  It had this nice tension, and for that I appreciate it.  But where it differs is what happens after Lucy commits to killing herself.

You see, there was a lot of thought I had put into how exactly Lucy was going to kill herself. If you’ll allow me to be cold and dark for a moment; I went over a few different modes of suicide for Lucy.  And really thinking about which one would be the best one, not just for dramatic effect, not just for realism, but also which would be the best one for this scene.  It came down to what would be a method that Lucy could survive from if she attempted it (so no toaster bath); what would be a method that Susan could dramatically save Lucy from, while still being able to talk to Lucy and understand her (so no over the counter cocktail); and how can I make it absolutely 100% sure to the audience that both of these characters are committed to what they’re doing? And to me…

Nothing shows that more, than Lucy fully committed to kicking the chair out from under her; and Sue clinging to Lucy for dear life, physically and emotionally trying to prop her up even as Lucy has fully committed to giving up.  (if you’ve ever wondered how this overthinking, overanalyzing, cynical mind of mine works towards building my own stories.  This should give you a good idea of what I go over with these scenes when I take them seriously)

If you remember the comment I mentioned earlier about changing Lucy’s reaction to Sue’s rescue, this is what I changed, and how it elevates this scene.  Narratively, this should’ve been the moment where the reader catches a breath and relaxes knowing that Lucy’s safe now.  But instead the reader remains in Sue’s shoes, clinging to Lucy and wanting to tell her everything’s okay, but Lucy explains that it’s not.  We see into Lucy’s mentality.  And it heartbreaking, because it’s not yelled at, it’s not cried out, it’s spoken somberly, with expressions and responses that fully capture how hopeless Lucy feels, and how true she feels it is.

And when Lucy finally does yell, and shows emotion it isn’t done to add some extra tension or drama in actuality, this is a moment where Sue breaks through Lucy’s armor and she shows her vulnerability.  And even still the tone does not change.  The tension is still tight, and it refuses to let up.  But not only that.

This scene comes with a flashback, but instead of leaving us with more questions, or scratching our heads as to what it had to do with anything or what it means.  It adds context to the situation, and its message is meant to be absolutely clear to you why it’s happening and what it means for the story and for these characters.  This is Lucy’s moment.  This is where we see her at her lowest point.  Broken. Defeated.  Unable to cope or push on.  

But we’re reminded that there are two characters in this scene.  We see both sides of the coin fully understand what Sue is feeling right now. Guilty.  Ashamed. Stupid. Naïve.  This scene builds, exposes, and fleshes out its two main characters.  Showing each of their struggles.

It’s this scene that sets the stage for these characters, and it’s a jumping off point (again, no pun intended) for them to grow from.  This entire scene sets its serious tone from the start, and holds the reader hostage, keeping the tension up and forcing them to take this seriously because it has something to say.  

(god damn it, I really should’ve rephrased that to “cause I am not letting you go” that would’ve been so much better) But that’s its final message, and final note.  A promise that carries on, that is reflected in the characters every action from this point on.  Lucy’s suicide attempt is what kicks off(…no pun intended?) the rest of the story. It lingers over everything and is a main point that is brought back constantly, time and time again.  It is an integral part of not only Lucy’s character development, but Sue’s character development.  

And even when she does come down, and the reader is given a moment to take a breath and crack a joke. It’s clear that this is just the beginning, and there is a lot of work left to be done.  And things for the reader to look forward to.  Lucy’s suicide attempt was something that I knew I had to treat with the utmost respect, and love.  In the end, we don’t know what’s going to happen now, but we do know Lucy’s problem.  We completely understand and can empathize with her character, for what she’s feeling, what she’s going through right now.  

Nothing is left unclear.

You’re never asking what’s going on.

You’re not meant to search and assume the answers on your own.

It’s clear cut.

It’s gutwrenching.

It’s brutal.

But most importantly.

It’s fucking real.

You don’t doubt that Susan, with adrenaline pumping through her veins could force herself to hold Lucy up.  You don’t wonder how Lucy could survive her attempt.  You don’t wonder what is going through her mind.  Or why she’s being saved.  The scene is meant to be impactful (Jesus I just keep walking right into it.  God damn! I’m sorry, no pun intended) It deserves so much better than what it got. After everything that this comic did…This.

This just kills it for me. You had the opportunity to make this amazing, something more than just its premise.  But instead it just falls flat on its fa-OH GOD DAMN IT WHY CAN’T I STOP DOING THAT?!  I JUST CAN’T AVOID ACCIDENTALLY MAKING THESE DAMN PUNS!  

A friend of mine made a good point on how this chapter could’ve been salvaged.   First off fuck that blood splatter it’s gratuitous, it’s excessive, and it’s distracting.  Just imagine for a second that it wasn’t there.

(look I tried to clean it up, it’s getting really late and this is getting absurdly long) But imagine instead Lucy fell and we just see her lying on the ground.  Her mind is in shock.  She is struggling to move.  Her body feels almost numb.  She doesn’t know what’s going on, her mind hasn’t fully comprehended what has just happened.  We start to see blood slowly pool beneath her and blend into the snow.  Growing as she starts to feel the pain set in.  The chilly breeze cooling her wound and making her feel unbearably cold.  Her vision fades, the scene zooms out as she starts to accept her fate, maybe thinking of final apologies, lamenting on the things she’s done, the words she’s never said, the life she never lead.  And just as she’s about to pass out.

She sees a silhouette of Augustus.  It’s unclear what he does, why he’s there, or what happens to Lucy as she passes out unsure if it was even real, what will happen to her.

And THEN the chapter starts! And we see her, and the suicide attempt can stand on its own! (maybe you can insert Augustus’ point of view of the scene in the place of this scene when Lucy says “this is the boy who saved my life” and we can maybe see Augustus care a bit about Lucy, or how he really feels.   It also would’ve been better if this scene came out earlier in the comic when this was more fresh in our minds.  But let’s wrap it up shall we?

We get a nice few bits of Augustus interacting with Lucy’s family and it’s really heartwarming.  It’s so cute, and it is a wonderful reminder of how Lucy’s actions impact not only our main characters but their families.  Not to mention Augustus is just adorable, and seeing him interact in this new environment, with people who legitimately care for him is very refreshing.  I like it a lot.  

And come on, just look at how cute and amazing Lucy’s mom is.  She’s the best thing about this chapter.  It’s really nice to see Lucy’s family and how they act.  

and the chapter ends with cute Augustus finally finding a place to call home~

Overall, this comic is just a bunch of disappointments with one nice little light at the end.  There were many chapters I’d point to as infuriating but this one…

For what it set out to do, and what it tried to do, and what it should’ve done.  In a word it is utterly disappointing.  And leaves me so hollow.  

I give it a 2/10.  I hope to god that Taeshi does better.  I’d say it can’t get worse than this, but I keep hearing about this carnival chapter, and man…

I’ll see you guys when i miss the next update.  Till then, this is Lt_Amazil signing off.

[myrkvidrs]

I continue to read in Elf Problem fandom, just not terribly fast--which pretty much describes the pace of Tolkien fandom in general. (EXCEPT LATELY, HOLY CRAP, THE FALL OF GONDOLIN IS GETTING A BOOK, THAT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED TODAY!!) But I still have a lot of feelings and there's still some absolutely gorgeous, utterly rewarding fic being written, so here HAVE SOME ELF PROBLEM FEELINGS.

TOLKIEN FIC RECS: ✦ Bridges by Bodkin, thranduil & legolas & ocs, valinor, 27.7k       Legolas and his wife's father just cannot get on. But elven life is long - and understanding will grow in time. If only they can learn to listen to each other... ✦ Boromir's Return by Osheen Nevoy, boromir & entire lotr cast & some ocs, 522k       Boromir awakens from his death and finds himself in an unexpected situation. ✦ The Dragon of Rohan by French Pony, faramir/eowyn & appearances of aragorn & gimli, 11.2k       Following the first real fight of their marriage, Faramir learns a little bit about Éowyn's past, which prompts a change in their relationship. ✦ Quenta Narquelion by bunn, feanor & maedhros & maglor & elrond & elros & feanorians & cast, 119.5k       Fëanor, dead, watches the First Age unfold and from time to time, joins in. Canon-compliant character death and a detailed account of the Eastern Front of the War of Wrath. ✦ In Courts of Living Stone by ncfan, maeglin/finduilas & eol/aredhel & melian & cast, 31.2k       Maeglin and Aredhel never flee Nan Elmoth for Gondolin. Twenty years later, Maeglin finds himself in Menegroth on a mission for his mother, seeking another road to freedom. But he is unprepared for what awaits him there. AU. ✦ Three by Geale, aragorn/legolas/arwen, nsfw, 7.3k       One is unbearable, Two is desirable, Three is completion. Legolas left Minas Tirith soon after the War to spare himself the pain but when duty calls him back, everything has changed. ✦ Tales from Vairë's Loom - Estel en-Aderiad by Fiondil, celeborn & galadriel & elrond & glorfindel & elladan & elrohir & legolas, 3.4k       A group of Elves journey to Mordor at the end of the Ring War to find closure and something else. ✦ Tales from Vairë's Loom - The Blue Wizards’ Dilemma by Fiondil, the blue wizards & ocs, 3.7k       They were sent to bring help to the tribes of Men who had rebelled from Melkor-worship in Middle-earth. They were doing well in their mission until a fateful invasion put an end to their plans. Now they had to come up with a new one. ✦ This Taste of Shadow - "in sickness, in health" by Mira_Jade, beren/luthien, 1.6k (for this chapter)       It came upon her slowly, like a whisper of the wind before the rains came. ✦ This Taste of Shadow - "who touches the pupil of my eye" by Mira_Jade, aule/yavanna & saruman & namo/vaire & thingol/melian & luthien & nerdanel, 1.5k (for this chapter)       Prompts: See, Hear, Touch, Sense, Smell ✦ This Taste of Shadow - "so there will be no forgetting" by Mira_Jade, bilbo & glorfindel & thorin, 3.2k       Magic, Gandalf had said when they entered the valley, but Bilbo Baggins was quite certain that the Grey Wizard was mistaken. For this had to be more than even that. ✦ Return to Aman by bunn, elrond & maglor & cast, 151.6k       A loosely associated series of stories about Elrond's return to Aman at the end of the Third Age. All these assume that Maglor son of Fëanor was one of the other unnamed Elves who accompanied Elrond, Galadriel, Gandalf, Frodo and Bilbo on the ship when they left Middle-earth. ✦ Oropher, Thranduil, Legolas by KayleeArafinwiel, thranduil & legolas & cast, 1.1k       Snippets and bits about the journey of three scions of the House of Elmo, the burdens of lordship and kingship, and the joys of fatherhood and childhood. ✦ This Taste of Shadow - "made for whispers" by Mira_Jade, celeborn/galadriel, 4.6k       There were times when the knowledge of just how far away from home she was caught her by surprise. full details + recs under the cut!

✦

Bridges by Bodkin

, thranduil & legolas & ocs, valinor, 27.7k

     Legolas and his wife's father just cannot get on. But elven life is long - and understanding will grow in time. If only they can learn to listen to each other...

      I never used to think too much about reading fic with a lot of OCs, but Tolkien fandom (at least the Thranduil & Legolas parts of it) almost kind of demand it, if you want to build something for them, and I'm at the point where I hardly even notice it anymore and instead just jump right in with those authors who are really good at building up the world around them, while not losing sight of the characters that I'm really here for. So, Thranduil and Legolas and their family in the Fourth Age in Aman? Where Legolas is hurt and trapped in a cave-in with his father-in-law who doesn't really like him and they have to find common ground and a better understanding of each other, while the rest of their family searches for them? Sign me up for that! And it was like sinking into this nice, warm bath to read, it was so easy and comfortable and warm and spot on for what I wanted, that there was some satisfying Legolas whump, there was Elves being Elves, there was just really good, lovely writing and fantastic characterization (they all felt 

spot on 

to me!) and it was incredibly engaging. It was the right length for the story being told, it did a great job of balancing all that it was trying to put in there, and was just a really, really good read that got me back into wanting to read about these characters again! ✦ Boromir's Return by Osheen Nevoy, boromir & entire lotr cast & some ocs, 522k       Boromir awakens from his death and finds himself in an unexpected situation.       I do not know where to begin with this rec, because I'm not sure how to encompass everything that this fic is! When I first picked it up, it sounded like it could either be great or it could be terrible--such an unassuming title and summary, using a first person narrative, the importance of an OC in the beginning, a truly impressive length at well over 500k. All of these seem like red flags being thrown up, if you've read much fic over the years. But I thought, well, I can just read the beginning, see how it goes, it's long enough that I can read quickly and not have to worry about savoring it. So, I started to read and was nearly instantly sucked in--and maybe it wasn't until a chapter or two later that I realize it, but this fic is masterful. Every choice the author makes in this fic is one that I support--the OCs are absolutely necessary, but even more than that are wonderful, I came to care about Boromir's new friend just as much as any canon character, he was beautifully written and the friendship between them tugged at my heart something fierce. The first person narrative is actually a great choice because it allows for getting into Boromir's head in a way that a third person fic would not, it allows the fic to show so much more of his character than could have otherwise been achieved. And, holy shit, the length was pitch perfect. This fic never flagged, it never felt overly drawn out, every scene was a joy to read, everything contributed to the greater whole, the pacing was fantastic so that I kept wanting to read what was coming next, no climax felt like an ending or the aftermath a let-down. Instead, I can scarcely look back to the beginning and see how far these characters and this story came without it feeling like I started the fic another lifetime ago, in the absolute intended way that I should feel looking back on this fic.        It covers so much of the events of LOTR, but from the point of view of Boromir in Gondor, unable to return to help the rest of the Fellowship, to give new events that found the perfect balance of what happened in canon versus how things would change in this AU. The events themselves were true to the spirit of the story and the narrative, I 100% believed this fic every step of the way--and the author showed their work, making every step clear how things happened and unfolded and made it so interesting along the way. The blend of action versus the moments between the fighting, the rebuilding of Gondor and Boromir's life, all of it was incredible.        But, oh. The best thing about this fic. The characterization was magnificent, every single step was brilliant for every single character. Boromir himself is breathlessly perfect, but also the characters around him shine with such fascinating presence, from the Hobbits to the other Men to the rest of the Fellowship, everyone is seen through Boromir's eyes, how he feels about them, but also you understand that he comes with his own biases. It was incredible to read every single scene with Aragorn, how human he is in this story without making him anything less than the incredible figure of the books. It was fucking awe-inspiring how well Denethor was written, how complicated and difficult and charismatic he could be, how Boromir saw all his faults, how he was not an easy man to be around, but you also saw his strength and his motivations and what drew people to him. I never doubted why Boromir or Pippin or the rest of Gondor loved him so much.        I've been reading this fic over the past two months and it's been my comfort place, the fic I pick up when I just want to read something that totally engrosses me, the fic that just made me happy to read, even when things were difficult for the characters. I could have easily read another 500k or more of this fic, I feel a little bereft now that it's gone from my life, and it still stuns me how well used everything is, how everything is so incredibly true to the canon, and everyone is so layered and individual and fascinating. It might seem daunting or not that interesting, but it's truly one of the best fics I've read in any fandom, not just this one, and the length doesn't matter because time seemed to lose all meaning while I was reading, it just slipped by me as I was engrossed in the world this author created. Everything is done to perfection and I honestly am sad that I have no more of this author's work to read. ✦ The Dragon of Rohan by French Pony, faramir/eowyn & appearances of aragorn & gimli, 11.2k       Following the first real fight of their marriage, Faramir learns a little bit about Éowyn's past, which prompts a change in their relationship.       I enjoyed this story so very much, both for the building of Faramir and Eowyn's relationship as well as the glimpses into her past, why she feels so strongly about a certain element in her home. I love how their relationship is portrayed here, it's not perfect, but it's so good , they're still somewhat getting to know each other, but they manage to work things out and make everything even better between them, and I'm just delighted by the sense of a beginning here, how they're building their home and their marriage and their life together. The addition of Aragorn and Gimli in their respective scenes was further a delight and it made the whole thing just an absolute joy to read. ✦ Quenta Narquelion by bunn, feanor & maedhros & maglor & elrond & elros & feanorians & cast, 119.5k       Fëanor, dead, watches the First Age unfold and from time to time, joins in. Canon-compliant character death and a detailed account of the Eastern Front of the War of Wrath.       Rec #1: When I first picked up this fic, I wasn't really sure what I was going to get or where it would be going, with Feanor's spirit refusing the call to Mandos and how that would affect things and what it would all mean. What I got was a bit of an exploration of what it meant to be a bodiless spirit in Middle-Earth, but then more and more an exploration and expansion of the storyline of The Silmarillion from that point on. It's gorgeously written and pulled me in hard, it gives such detail and depth to the storyline and the events that happen, especially once the attack on the Havens happens. It's also an exploration of what the Oath does to the sons of Feanor, how they do/don't react to it, how it drives and directs them--in a way that's woven around all the other plot stuff that's happening. This is fascinating all the more because Feanor himself is watching as a spirit, one who cannot really speak with the living without danger (as the living and the dead should not speak to each other) and this gives him the breathing room to step back from his anger and really see how his actions have created this tidal wave of effects. It's beautifully done for how it doesn't excuse Feanor or his sons or their followers, it doesn't try to make villains out of the people they attacked, but still makes you understand why they do what they do and have such deep sympathy for them. You understand why Elrond and Elros love them so much. You understand why the Dwarves are such longtime friends of them. You understand why many Men are longtime friends of their as well.       This is also in a fic where there's such thought put into the magic and arts of the world, the music and spirits that linger and the words of power and how they're tied to the fate of the World and what it means to be Elves. It's a fic that has so many moments from The Silmarilion given life , like what it's like to be in that part of the world when the Valar themselves finally come to fight Morgoth and the devastation it leaves in their wake, what it's like to spend that many years fighting and fighting and constantly having to struggle to get up when you have no hope left, all of it wrapped up in really beautiful, thoughtful characterization. I wasn't sure I'd like another fic (at least not for a long while) after Return to Aman hit so many of the buttons I wanted, but this one just knocked me over and wouldn't let me get up until I'd read my way through all of what was available (and I'm recommending this now because it's regularly updated, so even as a wip, the rec will stand!) and it's one of those that makes this fandom satisfying to be in!       Rec #2: I wasn't sure what to expect when I first picked this fic up--Feanor as a spirit watching over the events to come? And what I got was one of the most satisfying pieces I've read in awhile, that it starts as a Feanor piece, but it's also just as much (and sometimes moreso) a story about giving detail and breathing life into the story of the First Age, the story of the Feanorians. It's got gorgeous worldbuilding (the use of songs and various abilities, the power in words and voice, the touching of minds, the ability to call on things, all of it is blended together with the story in a way that utterly made sense to me, it felt like Elves, especially ones from the First Age) and it's gorgeous characterization and it's gorgeous canon gap filler. It's a story that takes the frame of canon, then builds and builds on it, so that it's this really coherent narrative, both in terms of the worldbuilding and in the characters--you get why the Feanorians do what they do, your heart breaks for them as they slide more and more into evil, because they aren't evil, but they have done so many evil things that they are inseparable from it. It doesn't dismiss the terrible things they've done, it doesn't deny that they truly did evil, but also it shows why they're so beloved, why Elrond and Elros love them, why their story is worth telling. On a narrative level, it's kind to both sides and that gives the story such depth and brilliance that a flatter reading of it (one side or the other being entirely ~bad~) would never have reached.       I enjoyed the story for the structure of it, the building up of various abilities (the Elves' magical powers just fit so well into the world that I could easily take it all for canon) or the Dwarves or various other Elves (besides the Feanorians or the Peredhil), all of that is gorgeously done. But the moment I will always remember most came in the second to last or last chapter, with Feanor watching over Maedhros and Maglor at the end of all of this, that got me. It got me so hard that I sat there in public, with tears welling up in my eyes, because I was affected by these characters and their journey, the way they were written. It's a beautiful piece for the Feanorians, you can feel the affection for them as characters without losing what makes their story tragic, that they have become evil through the sheer scope of the things they've done, and yet I want so, so badly to save them, because I fell in love with them over the course of the story all over again. And it's not just me being a fan of the characters, it's truly that the writing is gorgeous, that everything the fic sets out to do, it achieves, and I wish I could articulate it better, how much I loved reading this, how good it was, how well it did everything, because it really helped me through some tough times when I needed it, just by being so good. ✦ In Courts of Living Stone by ncfan, maeglin/finduilas & eol/aredhel & melian & cast, 31.2k       Maeglin and Aredhel never flee Nan Elmoth for Gondolin. Twenty years later, Maeglin finds himself in Menegroth on a mission for his mother, seeking another road to freedom. But he is unprepared for what awaits him there. AU.       I did not know how much I needed this AU fic until I read it and had such trouble putting it down! Maeglin accompanies his father to Menegroth, a letter from his mother hidden on him to ask for help, and there he meets Finduilas and tries to find the best way to speak to Galadriel and pass her the letter without his father noticing. There's such thought and care given to the worldbuilding of Menegroth and the Elves here, what that place must have been like, what it's like for the Elves living there, what it was like for Maeglin and his limited experience. It's such a great piece for his character, it really does such a fantastic job with this poor kid who has been hidden away and is so inexperienced and so ground down, but still desperately wants to do something , even amongst his fear. It's a really lovely look at how things could have gone better for him if he'd met someone more suited to him, the dynamic with Finduilas just sparkles here, it was a relationship that I absolutely fell in love with and it had such a natural grace.       But also Menegroth as a whole! The little details of how it affected Maeglin, the stars on the ceiling, the pulsing feeling of everything, the way Melian was so otherworldly, like she was there and yet not, the way she felt alien and such a heavy pressure to her. She's like Menegroth here--there's something genuinely terrifying about her, yet also beautiful and wonderful. The way such life was breathed into Finduilas as a character, she had such a vibrancy about her that you could believe everything here was plucked straight out of canon! It's a fic that achieves everything it set out to do and, sure, I'd loved another 30k for a sequel fic, but also I was satisfied with what was here--it was fascinating and a beautiful piece to read. ✦ Three by Geale, aragorn/legolas/arwen, nsfw, 7.3k       One is unbearable, Two is desirable, Three is completion. Legolas left Minas Tirith soon after the War to spare himself the pain but when duty calls him back, everything has changed.       Every time I read Aragorn/Legolas/Arwen fic it just further cements that I really do love this trio more than any single pairing and this fic just fed further into that. It's wonderfully balanced, especially the way it starts as more Aragorn/Arwen + Aragorn/Legolas, but eventually does become a trio, because, you know, Elves. It's a blend of angst and happiness, it's aching to read at first, but such love comes through that I felt entirely warm after reading it. There's a brief bit of sex that's lovely and hot, too, but it's mostly that I believed this scenario for them that really got me. ♥ ✦ Tales from Vairë's Loom - Estel en-Aderiad by Fiondil, celeborn & galadriel & elrond & glorfindel & elladan & elrohir & legolas, 3.4k       A group of Elves journey to Mordor at the end of the Ring War to find closure and something else.       This wound up being one of my favorites in this fic collection, where a group of Elves journey to Mordor to see for themselves the land of their fallen foe. Once again, the balance between all that's been lost, the heart of things, and the hope found amongst the rocks and hard ground, is wonderfully done. The moments each character gets to think on what (and who) they've lost, the aches they still carry with them, but that eventually they pull through to a lightness of heart again, it's very Elven and had me eating this fic up like candy. It's nicely done as a group piece (which is not always easy!) and as an aftermath piece. ✦ Tales from Vairë's Loom - The Blue Wizards’ Dilemma by Fiondil, the blue wizards & ocs, 3.7k       They were sent to bring help to the tribes of Men who had rebelled from Melkor-worship in Middle-earth. They were doing well in their mission until a fateful invasion put an end to their plans. Now they had to come up with a new one.       Given how little we know of the Blue Wizards, it could be difficult to come up with an interesting story to tell about them, but given how much I've enjoyed the other fics in this collection, I was perfectly willing to give this one a shot as well. And it is interesting to see what the author did with the scraps of information we have, how much was built up in such a short time, how the focus on these singular moments in the middle of greater plot machinations tell so much and how humanized these characters (both the actual humans and the wizards both) were. Even going in knowing very little, I felt like all of this absolutely made sense to me and that's a great achievement. ✦ This Taste of Shadow - "in sickness, in health" by Mira_Jade, beren/luthien, 1.6k (for this chapter)       It came upon her slowly, like a whisper of the wind before the rains came.       This was a really lovely and sweet moment with Beren and Luthien, how she gets sick for the first time after becoming mortal and how it's kind of quietly terrifying, but she embraces it in the way she always does, as well as Beren is just so kind and charming here, you can absolutely see why Luthien loves him so very much, why this life with him is so very worth living. It's a sparkling, warm-hearted piece that really captured one of those quiet moments that shows just how much deep and true love there is here. ✦ This Taste of Shadow - "who touches the pupil of my eye" by Mira_Jade, aule/yavanna & saruman & namo/vaire & thingol/melian & luthien & nerdanel, 1.5k (for this chapter)       Prompts: See, Hear, Touch, Sense, Smell       This is a series of shorter ficlets connected through a themed prompt set as well as a sense of loss and difficulty, how each of these characters deal with such things. Aule's loss of Mairon, a favored pupil, Namo trying to understand the process of death in the early days, Nerdanel mourning her losses, and so on. It's a lovely set and adds these little touches of something you can really empathize with when it comes to all these characters. ✦ This Taste of Shadow - "so there will be no forgetting" by Mira_Jade, bilbo & glorfindel & thorin, 3.2k       Magic, Gandalf had said when they entered the valley, but Bilbo Baggins was quite certain that the Grey Wizard was mistaken. For this had to be more than even that.       One of the most frustrating parts of Peter Jackson's movies is what they've done to the Elves, especially the Hobbit movies, even having set them from the Dwarves' point of view. This is a lovely look at Bilbo learning a bit more about the swords they carry from one who is very familiar with them and then another lovely look at Bilbo telling Elven tales, showing the depth of them to some who would like to deny it. It was a nicely cathartic read for me, as a fan of these characters and this history, but it's also a really great look at giving depth to the time Thorin's company spent in Rivendell, fitting between the scenes of the movie very nicely! ✦ Return to Aman by bunn, elrond & maglor & cast, 151.6k       A loosely associated series of stories about Elrond's return to Aman at the end of the Third Age. All these assume that Maglor son of Fëanor was one of the other unnamed Elves who accompanied Elrond, Galadriel, Gandalf, Frodo and Bilbo on the ship when they left Middle-earth.       I don't even know where I'm going to begin with this! I read this entire series over the course of about a week, the only thing that kept me from devouring it all at once is that I didn't want to run out of it too quickly--and, yet, here I am all caught up and desperately wishing I had another 80k+ to read through right now. It's a collection of stories about Elrond and Maglor journeying to Aman in the Fourth Age, about healing and humor and what comes next for the Elves, now that their time in Middle-Earth has ended and they have to actually deal with seeing a son of Feanor again, that Maglor has to deal with the Oath and what he's done and his sorrow over it. I'm interested in these things just for themselves, of course, but this fic series has been absolutely incredible at giving such sharp personality to everyone, that Finrod has such an incredible sense of humor and rolls with a joke, that Nerdanel has such common sense, that Elrond may be younger than most of the Elves here but he's Seen Some Shit as well as he has an incredible way with building bridges between people, that Bilbo and Frodo are such Hobbits and genuinely feel different from the Elves, that Nimloth has to be experienced rather than described, that Celebrian seems so delicate and yet has such strength to her, all of it is incredibly sharp and brilliant. I came to this fic for the concept and the lore, but wound up staying even more for the sheer gorgeous characterization and deftness at which this really feels like these characters' thoughts, feelings, and actions.       Which isn't to say that the lore isn't incredibly well done, too! The story feels just a little bit formal in the way the Elves speak to each other, there's just a touch of poetry in their words and actions, but in a way that's incredibly smooth and engaging to read! And the bits of worldbuilding, the way they see into each others' minds or the way their power works, that Maglor knows he could use his harp and voice as a weapon possibly even more deadly than his sword, that the Oath is a burning thing in the minds of Feanor's sons, that the time in the Halls of Mandos is not so easily described. All of this add such richness to the story being told, all of this is why I'm fascinated by the Elves! And I wish I could write a better rec for this series, I wish I could write a rec for each of the (at current) eleven stories, because they deserve it, because they utterly enraptured me and satisfied me on an emotional level. It's a story about forgivenes and where that line is, that Maglor has regretted so many things, that they weren't just monsters, they were thinking and feeling creatures as well. That he has to live with the fury that's aflame around so many Elves that he hurt, but also that he struggles with pride and his own wounds, the loss of family.       It's a story that makes the Feanorians sympathetic again, that doesn't excuse what they've done, but that holding onto grudges never heals anything. I'm incredibly on the side of the people that they hurt, but this fic got me feeling things for the Feanorians all over again, especially because it's so very clear that Maglor loves dearly and hates what happened, that it destroyed him in a way he'll likely never recover from, especially not with the strength of Elven memory. But it's still a road worth walking, coming back to life and healing. And, oh, even the one conversation between Nerdanel and Feanor here had me practically rolling over in my bed to clutch my reader to my chest for the sheer amount of feeling it gave me. It's a fic that's so beautifully written all the way through, that has such care put into it and different perspectives considered and finely written dialogue that it really, really earns the slow burn redemption that it's going for. It's an incredible story that I'm so glad I'm getting to read. ✦ Oropher, Thranduil, Legolas by KayleeArafinwiel, thranduil & legolas & cast, 1.1k       Snippets and bits about the journey of three scions of the House of Elmo, the burdens of lordship and kingship, and the joys of fatherhood and childhood.             These were very short snippets of fic that were lovely to read and I picked them up because I, too, headcanon that Oropher was from Elmo's line, though, I don't think you really have to be that familiar with The Silmarillion to enjoy this! They're shorter fics and really cute scenes, very much about the care and feeling between the Elves, just little details to fill in the world and connections between them all. It was a lovely read today! ✦ This Taste of Shadow - "made for whispers" by Mira_Jade, celeborn/galadriel, 4.6k        There were times when the knowledge of just how far away from home she was caught her by surprise.        I have definitely been on a Celeborn/Galadriel kick lately, especially takes on their early courtship days and how the reveal of the Kin-Slaying events and the tension between the Noldor and the Sindar would have affected this relationship. It's a look at such a strong character like Galadriel, who has her pride and her sorrow both, that she feels stained and cursed, that in a way she truly is, and doesn't want to spread that to this Elf she is coming to love, but also will not settle for crumbling under the weight of what she bears. The way she moves from Artanis and Nerwen to Galadriel, the way she is proud and unbreakable, the way she grieves for what they've all been through, all of it is so Galadriel. And the way these two interact with each other, the sharp connection between them, the pull that neither of them could possibly deny, the strength and elegance and grace of both of them, the sheer might of both their presences in a room, all of it is very, very nicely done and suits them so well. I can easily see this as how things might have gone!

[akria23]

Boy Who Ran W/ Wolves -Derek

Note: Okay so if any of you have paid attention lately…my computer crashed right as I got near the end of this thing like on the 30th of last month so I wasn’t able to post this. It was mad frustrating cause that was the perfect day to post given the release of the interview and everyone chatting – but bad shit happens I guess. I hope you guys like this one cause I’ve spent money to get back and get it out to you guys. Without further ado…

Starting off let me say this, Teen Wolf is a show that had a lot of potential and when we say that we mean, we saw what they could’ve done and didn’t do or we saw what they wanted and failed to do. I have no interest in filling in the many craters that riddle this story. I have no interest in reimagining Scott McCall. There is no saving grace to that caricature. And by this I don’t mean that Scott is the devil but that he is so poorly written I don’t see anything worth salvaging. Personally as a person who has seen the show flop and squander as it lost its mass popularity, I think it would’ve been easier for writers like Jeff and his team to create the Boy Who Ran with Wolves narrative instead of the so called Teen Wolf narrative that they majorly dropped the ball on.  On a standpoint of where the writers failed their own show, I always answer from the very start. Do I think Teen Wolf could’ve been an amazing show? Yes. Do I think it was…

The writers were full in the ego and light in the skill department. They couldn’t handle criticism making them unable to admit faults within themselves, or the work they produced. The hardest knock they took was being unable to adapt. I’m not sure if the show runner just had such an ideal of what he wanted before starting this show, that when met with a chink in the metal frame he buckled and demanded they all take the tumble with him or if pride was so high in the drawing room that during that time they found they would rather self-destruct together. I can’t really speak on the possible malfunctions that took place behind the scene, only the chaos that it created on the screen.  

               The writer’s decided to center the story on young Scott McCall, and while this wouldn’t be a problem if things were different, if they’d actually built a character, it can’t be said to be a wise decision under the circumstances.  It’s been stated many times that Scott is a weak character that lacks the tools to carry a series - a movie possibly, but never a show. For some reason the drawing room was more inspired by its side characters instead of its lead, to be fair this is many-a-writer’s downfall. This is why I find it simpler to explore this story with the framing of different characters, not just the two I’m going to focus on.

I’m going to explain The Boy Who Runs with Wolves (BWRWW) narrative as a story set with either Stiles or Derek as the protagonist. This doesn’t necessarily mean the story is set with them as the narrator, because the story could seriously be done through a third person teller (think Michael in QAF). BWRWW does however shift the perspective of the story. It has a more formulistic structure that the writers should have found easy to work upon. Both characters come filtered with the needed elements to push a story forward.

Given Derek’s back-story he’s an obvious candidate for a protagonist. Starting off he has the compelling family history. The Hales have a legacy in Beacon Hill’s they were protectors of that land, supernatural creatures who stood between the human world and their own. This works as not only a goal and a motivation for Derek, but also creates a minor if not a major theme for the show. The original Teen Wolf of course played with the aspect of human/wolf (or supernatural) but never in a way that was set in stone, or with an overarching message. The Hale legacy could’ve given the audience a view into the supernatural world that Teen Wolf could never afford. The goals of the Hale family could only promise meetings of the outside creatures…given introductions into those creatures and their world in a way that made sense while still keeping the focus on the main - wolves. It’s not a history Derek is even really aware of, so as he’s introduced into who his family really was and the things they had to do, we the audience are therein introduced to those realities. I always think about charmed and how they were witches that knew nothing of their history. Their only access to knowledge of this new world they had to navigate was a book of spells with info on some of the many creatures. The reason this is so brilliant is because you never want to give your protagonist someone or something that can give them all the answers. It mucks the story and frustrates the audience when the protagonist doesn’t listen. This was often the issue with Teen Wolf. They gave Scott Derek, a Wolf mentor so to speak, a mentor he often refused to listen to or used and abused on occasion. Even with Buffy, which Jeff foolishly thinks he mirrors, they didn’t give her a slayer with the keys to the castle – her mentor could help her along the way (while also having his own duties and things that sometimes muddled her goals because he was her watcher [layering]) but not just roll out all the answers, or the how to(s). That’s not to say your protagonist shouldn't meet the failure of naivety, or the wilds of adolescence, but for it to be a main frame makes it a difficult line for your audience to walk and therefore continue to feel for said character. Walking room should be for error, not stupidity. So while Derek would have knowledge on his supernatural bearings, to a point, it’s these other facets that pick up the slack. Also you have the wolf to human aspect that can still be absorbed through stiles (the human) and even Scott who would have been demoted to a fitting position given his lack of layering (new wolf).

The external growth/struggle speak for themselves. Stepping into the shoes parents – more so his mother- having to deal with the way that still connects him with them. Finding out truths and things he’s never known, some of which he probably should never know. The realities of everyday battles and the constant chance of losing what he’s gaining. Because the show only highlighted his mother, and in such a way that gave the audience this very direct perspective on their relationship I think its unavoidable to create a reimaging without that concept and without that shadow being a part of his motivation.

Okay, let’s back up a bit for part two because I want people to understand where I’m coming from and where I’m going when I break this stuff down. If the top half (Family History) creates Derek’s eternal struggle then the second half creates his inner one, and therefore also that growth. Often times to create a character’s emotional line and characterization, a writer gives the character something to overcome, something that happened prior to the main story but very much influences the main story – using Michael Hauge’s concept I’ll refer to this as the Wound. The wound builds the characters Belief, sometimes of themselves or the outside world, sometimes both. Again for repetition, the belief is just that, a strong belief the character has because of his wound. The character’s belief creates their Identity – a Mask that covers their true Essence so they no longer feel weak/vulnerable. Essence is the person they really are, it’s their better side that they hide. Their new identity makes them think they’re protecting themselves but usually it’s just standing as a block to what they really want.

Above I’ve structured out Derek’s characterization, give or take with the fact that Teen Wolf cut out his middle structure and then wanted to only lean loosely on his mask nor did they really commit to his wound. Anyway starting from the left – Wound. I’m gonna do one line at a time so you can see how they connect. The first layer of Derek’s wound would have been Kate’s betrayal, not the fire itself but the actual set up and manipulation and forethought she had to have going into this and how she used him. Kate’s actions would have then created a belief in him, and fairly so, this would have been the toxicity humans are capable of. The creatures who call his kind unacceptable, but committed the worst of acts against them. This leads the character to his mask, in Dereks case a form of prejudice where humans stand. You want something that’s natural, but creates authentic tension. Make your character human by giving him contradictions and ripping the moral carpet from under him and see how he sticks his own landing. Derek having issues with humans because of his own experiences does just that, and also gives him a growing point and ties to the Human – Wolves concept. Teen Wolf did start off with Derek showing some signs of prejudice with humans, at least with Stiles who he didn’t seem to think much of at all. But the show ended that pretty quickly without ripping something great out of both sides and leaving something magnificent on the screen. Derek’s second and major wound would be the trauma he blamed himself for. The fault he finds in himself leads to the belief that he is undeserving of anything…good. This of course leads to his new identity his mask, which for Derek is Isolation. When I say isolation I don’t just mean cutting oneself off physically I mean the things he starts to do to keep others out. Adult Derek is different from pre-wound Derek. He’s stoic - closed off, violent, silent and so on. He doesn’t seem to revere his own life, quick to throw himself in front of danger…so much so that fans at one point felt he had a death wish. And this is where contradictions come in very hard, and you want them to. Because even under a mask something of our true essence is always accessible. So even though there was this new stoic Derek at times we could see ‘old Derek’. We could see the Derek that longed for family and connection despite thinking he didn’t deserve those things. Tension in this is that even as he fights he has a need and that need will go toe-to-toe every time. For example, Derek turning the teens. He deep down he’s lonely, he yearns for that connection, for unity. But when he creates this makeshift group he still caters to his own mask, not treating them like the family he knows he wants. No, because of his own beliefs, because of his past teachings he tries to teach them his own ways to protect themselves and that doesn't help because that’s not what either side needs. His Tragic Past plays as his internal struggle, where he’ll grow from the inner outward. The tragic past that created his present identity branches out to the things that help set free his Essence, the Romantic Subplot & his individual Development Arc.

His tragic past, instead of being fodder for torture, becomes Derek’s personal story that weaves back into the main story. His past acts as a two part concept branching out to create his personal development arc one way and a possible romantic subplot the other. Starting with the development arc, Derek was shown a darker side of humans with the actions of Kate and those who partnered with her to create the Hunters. Derek has reason to have issues with humans, this creates a friction with his family’s legacy. How can he be expected to protect the very thing that destroyed his life? So on that route you of course not only have to have him deal with the concept of humans but also the hunters themselves. I think Teen Wolf could have done wonderful things with the Argents and the wolves and have them not only come toe-to-toe but also be forced to face each other in the realization of what the war has caused them and question a possible reconciliation, for some, if any.

This ties with the romantic subplot. Subplots are important in a long piece, you’re promised to have at least one. A subplot is a minor story that runs parallel alongside the main-plot and or weaves into it. It’s a way to add layers and therefore complexities to the story. A romance subplot of course is just a minor story of romance that takes place alongside the main story. I saw a graph of The Hunger Games that broke down its subplots so I’m gonna use that movies to make it simple. The main plot (question) in the Hunger Games was – Will Katnis survive the hunger games? The romantic subplot (minor question) in the Hunger Games was – Will Katnis choose Peeta or Gabe (think that’s his name)? There were other subplots in The Hunger Game series but it’s the romantic one I’m focusing on. So for BWRWW – Derek Version the romantic subplot would be something near the same – Will Derek overcoming open him to a relationship with Stiles. This romantic subplot closely weaves throughout the main plot because it’s dependent on Derek achieving his internal goal.  Back to the human – wolf subject and concept of the Derek’s story, which would play a huge part in their story. Because Derek had this view of humans, this prejudice so to speak, a mistrust not only of humans but his relations with them since both his priors went terribly wrong. As a writer the thing is then to question that connection, if their theme together is trust how is that gonna be exploited in story? Does trust in Stiles really make him stronger, or does the unbiased outlook on humans leave him open to danger? I talked about the cycle in part one, the themes that made up his levels of love – love/loss, fear, trust, fault, intimacy, fragility, betrayal – so how do those things intertwine and play-out. What are the other weak concepts that will make Derek balk – like fear of losing someone as he’s done so often before? How do you have him face betrayal again, overcome it and reassess fault? VoidStiles. The Sterek relationship has similar markers of the past but highlight very different things. Intimacy for example, whenever we see Derek and Kate it’s a sexualized thing where she’s reminding him what she used against him and what she views as weakness on his part. This seeks the question of what does Derek now see intimacy as; a tool? How do you highlight that within Stiles and Derek’s relationship the subject of intimacy is ‘reborn’. Their moments shine on positive emotions and connections. A comforting hand in the time of need. Something as simple as a different kind of touch to try to awaken (closed fist to open palm, and hesitancy). To just being comfortable with someone touching you, showing a trust and a comfort level with that person. Even in lack of touch the intimacy is still there, as it is in the dream sequence. This is why I say Stiles is the only option for Derek to love. He singularly being who he is and the two coming together literally forces Derek in a position where he has to make a choice and therefore give him a chance to grow and thereby show his True Essence. You see the old him start to come back as Stiles sarcastic nature rubs off on him and he takes more liberty with relaxing his stoicism. He’s forced to realize that he can sit on the sidelines telling himself what he doesn’t deserve or can fight for what he wants. Derek being so sacrificial becomes a problem for Stiles who has come to care for his wellbeing in all ways. He can never 100% go back to his so called old self because he’s experienced things but the natural parts of him, the parts he hid away to make himself unable to be hurt, those things have been retained. The thing he really wants, having a family is an assessable thing – through building it himself. The romantic subplot helps develop Derek to his full potential. It matches the subject of wolf- human and exploits that concept in the best way giving the story many plotlines and avenues. His internal arc matches with his eternal one but with enough friction to carry the story to fruition.  

It’s important to have your hero’s external goals battle their internal. This makes the hero human, makes the audience not only empathize with him but makes them root for him/her. It makes the climb to being a hero more conceivable. Going back to the wound to identity concept, Michael Hauge puts it like this,

“When characters are traumatized by experiences, they formulate beliefs about the world that will protect them from ever again experiencing pain of those wounds. For example, Judy Hopps, the rabbit, in Zootopia receives a beating from a predator when she was young, this leads her to believing predators are actually just inherently bad – despite what she preaches to the outside world.”

 A writer has to take its character’s experiences into consideration. The things we’re set upon believing have a reason, an experience tied in, a thought, a feeling behind it. Too pretend otherwise, is to error. You don’t wanna give your character a random belief out of nowhere just because it places the story where you, the writer, needs it. That’s cheating, a high handed way to make instant heroes. You never want to have an instant hero…it’s like instant romance, the audience feels cheated and the so called ‘hero’ falls flat and is deemed unworthy – Scott McCall.  You also never wanna give your protagonist a weak struggle. Simply saying “I don’t want change” is not enough, it’s just seems selfish if said change has expanded on your character’s life and skills instead of just brought negativity. If you now have skills that can protect you and others, crying danger is just side eye worthy because simple humans live a life of danger too. This is why layering is such a necessity. Conflicting the hero in his outside world is only half the battle and means next to nothing if his mind isn’t conflicted too. It’s like courage – courageous is not someone who is unafraid being willing to do the thing, it’s someone being afraid and yet willing to face/overcome said fear to do the thing. It’s more interesting to observe the latter than the former. It’s the same with being a Hero, the audience wants to observe that journey, they are living vicariously, that’s the only way they too get to the feel of being a hero.

As a writer, this is what you want. Things should never be easy for your protagonist. Things should never fall to a protagonist just because they’re the protagonist or the lead. Opposition and obstacles creates character. As the protagonist stands in front of a problem, it’s his reaction to the issue and what he decides that tells the audience who he is. This is something Teen Wolf never understood. You can have every character play mouthpiece to how great your character is, how much of a good guy he is…but if actions ain’t showing the same thing, then it’s not believable for the audience.  With Derek, the story stands a chance. You have a protagonist who has real obstacles on both sides – external and internal. Your protagonist job isn’t to be all knowing, or all powerful, or all saying, it’s to be growing, to be in the process of developing. It’s about someone who is able to take something from his experience, from his journey and cycle that and give it back. The reason a lot of people are so in love with Derek, is because we’ve seen him. No one told us who he was, he showed us, and we then saw what he could’ve become.

Things & characters Given Derek V:

             Nogitsune/VoidStiles: Can you imagine the damage and the wreckage the nogitsune aka voidstiles would have given this relationship, given both their internal struggles. The trickster who liked to play mind games, having all of this vulnerability at his feet. On one side you have the wolf rebuilding his faith in humans through his relationship with a human. One the other you have Stiles who has worked on this platform of gaining that trust and now he’s possessed by something that uses him to lie and manipulate. That’s tension! That’s conflict. Authentic character paths. That’s good TV. And if they wanted to bring him back like the show did – ugh – it would’ve have actually made since for him to be someone’s fear since he would’ve been the concept of Stiles being everything negative to a Derek that needs him to be the positive. When your characters stand as a frame that keeps each other standing you have to push them to the edge and make them look at the reality of having that all ripped away. The Nogitsune would have done that for this relationship.

               Ending: On one hand I think I would’ve loved seeing the torch passed on to Boyd. I think it would’ve been grand to see that kind of image and that placement for Boyd considering where he too started off. It’s an appropriate ending to have Derek finally graduate to a place where he can pass that job down (after having actually did the job) on someone else as he moves forward. On the other hand, I watched Teen Wolf have Stiles leave to join the FBI and I wonder if that’s really fitting. If Stiles himself doesn’t fit in the town of Beacon Hills stepping into the shoes of his father. Protecting the home he’s ever known and being a line between these two worlds. Stiles is an excitable person, someone who honestly finds joy in the workings of a case, I sometimes wonder if regular human cases would be enough for him. It makes sense for him to try to work his way to power in that town, continuing that work while having an ear to the community and how those around him response to incidents and or cover up the real happenings. I don’t know, it’s just an aspect that my brain goes back and forth with.

               Younger Derek: I think I would’ve enjoyed a longer plot for young Derek than just coming back for some more Kate torture. In fact I think many plots could have branched into this level and been used as a frame to take us back to Derek's childhood in way that was different from just the norm flashback. I always hated that the way the writers wrote the set up meant Young Derek and Peter didn’t really get to interact.Considering the fact that Tyler H was leaving, they could’ve slotted that actor for a minute.

               Liam & Theo: I’ve grown to like the thought of these characters but then with Derek being the focal character…I’m not sure they would have a place. I say this because Liam is just a better thought out Scott. He starts off naïve and comedic but falls into his line – this is probably cause he’s a side character and that all fits there. And with Theo, his come on would not at all fit with the sterek storyline. Because their theme is trust it would have to be something undeniable and grand in scheme to come in and put mistrust in there (which is why I said voidstiles) and you only want to do that once, to overdo it or to do so weakly would just undermine the relationship. I don’t know how they’d have to mend Theo’s entrance but even then, his interaction with Derek would be mega different from his one with Scott. It made sense for him to come in and tell Scott he was gonna come in and take over his shit he don’t know what he doing…but with Derek at that point it would just be laughable. The only way I see maintaining these characters would be to give Scott his own pack.

               Lydia: I honestly don’t think she should be a part of the Hale pack…or any wolf pack >.> Not in that way. I think she should be focused on her own powers and growth but still helping out when she’s needed. This is nopt about her having or not having a love interest because personally I never subscribe to the ‘this female don’t need love bs’ it’s just about her placement within pack. You can be family and not have to make that leap. I think the show could’ve done great things with Lydia and they failed. I personally would have liked to see her and Derek bond more, I don’t think even going with Stiles as his love interest would have tipped that possibility of that friendship because I don’t think Derek would have been jealous of that old feeling that was never returned. Its stiles past, just like he has a past. Lydia is a capable woman and I think he would’ve seen her for the asset she is.

               Malia: Who?

Things I thought would be interesting:

Stiles and Derek body switch

More Derek Papa Stilinski Interaction

Danny the hacker – Like they just threw the homie away even though he would’ve been a bomb asset!

Lydia and Peter interaction – People might not like that, but being around one another brought aspects I like about each character. I personally like Peter fucking with Lydia because it always brought out a fiery side of her and forced her to deal with a challenge.

If we had to have Malia – she sure as hell would not be a hale but I would put her on the lgbqt spectrum, given her a more believable story and put her with Kira.

True wolf bullshit obsolete

More Erica and Boyd backstory and for them not to have turned her into a sex kitten but a female whose body had been fighting her now having the chance to be more than healhy

Some actual dealing with Peter and Derek’s relationship and the things Peter has put him through

I would’ve def left Derek as young Derek for more than an episode.

Awkward Derek flirting with Stiles – I can’t picture it so I wanna see it lol

Note: So obviously I didn’t include Stiles part in this, I’m eight pages in sooooo decided there will be another part. I’ll probably also talk about how I personally would have liked to see their relationship transpire in that part. I did want to go over how different the human-wolf-new new wolf thing could have been different dependent on the focal character, but at this point I don’t even care nor do I wanna talk about Scott too much because he will be tagged and his fans get pissy and I don’t care about Scott enough to fight for him much less over him. Nor do I generally partake to those fans because the majority are people who like to waste time fighting over him and blaming fandom for the shortcomings the writers created instead of taking it to the board and fighting for him and I find that concept too illogical to entertain. So while making these Articles I try to remain as honest in my opinion as possible while cutting out a lot. Also before people een start let me just say yes, I know the trauma isn’t always used as a foundation (wound is) but for Derek and even for Stiles I think that remains a starter point. Truama isn’t often used in genres like adventure, it can be but it’s less common. In romance its more often even when its not the pov character – for example Pride & Prejudice movie. Elizabeth’s belief system doesn’t come from trauma but from rebelling the teachings of growing up as a woman in that time. The wound however that creates her personal issues with Darcy is in his slight towards her. For Darcy his outlook on the poorer kind comes from a trauma necessarily of his own, but in the trauma of someone he cared deeply for (his sister). Yeah, I got a video of them play on my second screen so they were the example and I love them so. The point being I’m not saying it HAS to be but that trauma is in part Derek’s starter pack. The wound however, is usually a must. I don’t know if I should say the next and final (hopefully) part is gonna be shorter…cause I said that bullshit last time and it was a lie…BUT it should be shorter cause I won’t have to explain everything that time around. Other than that, let me tell you…I was supposed to have posted the final article and the first chapter of my Sterek fic on the Finale day…that didn’t happen. I didn’t finish my fic and the article turned into part one. So I’m not sure if I should finish the chapter first since I’m starting to think I’m using these articles as procrastination or if I should just write the Stiles one and get it out the way. We’ll see but something should probably be done by the end of next week cause it take me so long to do this simple shit >.> I tried to put most of this text under a hide thing but I couldn’t figure that mess out so my apologizes to all the people who had to do the intense scroll!

Teen Wolf Articles

Scott McCall

Stiles Stilinski

Derek Hale

Sterek: Foundation

Sterek: BWRWW: Derek

Upcoming: Sterek BWRWW: Stiles

[chocobroobsession]

When Showers Fail to Clean You

Author’s Note: I was literally taking a shower, shampooing my hair when I got this idea. Like, I could totally go for some shower loving, but alas, my shower is too tiny! Ah well, a girl can dream. Ignis X fem reader, NSFW, 2817 words.

When the two of you shopped for a new place to live, Ignis had two stipulations: a large bedroom, and a decent-sized shower. The bedroom request made sense. There was no hiding the fact that the two of you tended to spend more time in the bedroom than any other place in the house. Neither of you could keep your hands off each other long enough to occupy any of the other rooms for too long. Sometimes, he took you right then and there, wherever you happened to be, bedroom be damned.

You assumed his other stipulation would be a cavernous kitchen. Aside from the bedroom, Ignis Scientia spent a great deal of time concocting new recipes and whipping up magnificent dinners for the two of you. You were shocked when he mentioned the need for a roomy shower.

“Why?” You had questioned. “You don’t even take long showers in the first place. If anything, I’m the one who should be going over shower specifics, not you.”

He looked at you and smirked. “I’m not exactly short, love. I’m tired of our current situation where I have to bend forward just to feel the water on my face. The water at least rains down on you. I am taller than the shower-head itself.”

While he had a valid point, you couldn’t help but think he had ulterior motives, but you let it slide as the two of you house-hunted. You eventually found a place you both favored that met your stipulations and his, and you purchased it and settled down.

One evening, after a particularly brutal day at work, you trudged into the house, flicking on the light switch and tossing your belongings onto the bar. You started to lock and deadbolt the door, but you remembered Ignis wasn’t home yet. He had said it would be another one of his late nights at work.

You thought about just collapsing into bed, but the allure of a warm, therapeutic shower called to you instead. You walked into the bathroom and turned on the water. The shower was a colossal walk-in with dark blue tile and a rain-maker showerhead, complete with a line of jets that ran down the wall. You gave the water time to adjust as you peeled away each layer of clothing, feeling your burdens lighten as each article was cast aside.

Naked and shivering, you walked into the shower. The warm water felt glorious on your weary body. It felt as though your stress was washing down the drain with each passing minute. You leaned back, allowing the wall jets to spray your back in just the right spots, loosening the knots that had formed in the muscles. This was the next best thing to a massage. You applied face wash and dove under the stream. You didn’t hear when the door opened and Ignis walked in the bathroom, leaning into the shower to speak with you.

“Mind if I join you?”

His voice startled you and you would have slipped had Ignis had not caught you by the elbow.

“Whoa, there, love. It tends to get a little slippery in there,” he teased.

“Shit, Ignis,” you splashed at him. “I could have cracked my head open and died all because someone decided to sneak up on me!”

“I doubt you would have met your demise, but I do apologize. I’ll ask again, may I join you?”

You contemplated passing on the opportunity to shower with your man, being tired and not really in the mood for anything he might try to initiate, but you ultimately decided against it. Seeing him naked, even after all this time you’d been together, had you weak at the knees and you couldn’t help but indulge yourself. “Sure, get in here.”

He made a show of getting undressed. You knew he was attempting to get a reaction out of you, and it was definitely working, but you tried not to let him know that. You never did have a very convincing poker face. He removed his glasses and set them on the counter by the sink. He slowly eased his suspenders off his shoulders, staring you right in the eye as he did so. He placed the middle finger of one of his gloved hands in his mouth and bit down, languidly pulling the leather glove off. As he went to do the same to the other glove, you bit your lip. You hadn’t realized you were getting wet, and not just from the water. You rubbed your legs together to relieve some of the pressure, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

“Are you doing alright there, darling? I thought you were trying to take a shower. I’m trying to undress here but it’s hard to do so with you ogling me, making me self-conscious,” he offered a devilish grin as he slowly unbuttoned his pinstripe shirt and shucked it off.

Seeing his lean, muscular torso had caused you to go red in the face, pupils dilated. You shook your head to rid your mind of your explicit thoughts and attempted to turn your attention back to the jets pounding into your sore muscles, but instead you fixed your eyes below Ignis’s waist as he continued his strip tease. He ran his hands south across the planes of his torso until they came to rest at the top of his pants where he unbuttoned them.

He smirked and unzipped his pants at a turtle’s pace. Why was he taking so long to strip? You were practically drooling, waiting for one of your favorite body parts to make an appearance. He made to pull his boxer briefs down with his pants but he stopped right above his crotch and made it a point to stretch his arms towards the ceiling in an exaggerated yawn. His v-line was on full display along with the top of his groomed pubic hair. He was driving you insane and you couldn’t take another second of this teasing.

“Just hurry and take your pants off already! Sheesh, the water’s going to get cold if you don’t get in here soon,” you berated him.

Ignis ended the stretch and looked at you with a dead-pan expression as he unceremoniously yanked off the rest of his clothing. His throbbing cock sprang forth, finally freed from its cloth prison. He cocked one eyebrow. “Happy now?”

You sighed, trying not to stare at his erection. “Yes, now please get in?”

Ignis stepped inside and you moved over to allow him to wet down his body. Though there was plenty of room for him to get by, he purposefully slid against you as he moved towards the water. Delicious chills ran down your spine and a warmth pooled in your middle when you felt his twitching member brush your side. You almost caved and jumped him right there, but you forced yourself to practice self-control. You were going to get through this shower before giving in to him.

You stood back while he quickly washed his face before he turned back around to face you. “Aren’t you going to finish up? I thought you had barely started when I walked in.”

You had lost yourself again, watching the way his body glistened in the steam-filled space as the water cascaded over his toned form. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m just going to wash my body really quick.”

You grabbed your body wash off of the shelf in the corner and squirted some onto your shower poof. You lathered it up and ran the tool over the curves of your body. You knew he wanted nothing more than to get you hot and bothered, and it was definitely working, but two could play at that game. You made a point to stare into Ignis’s intoxicating green eyes as the scent of lavender filled the air. You took extra time to run the tool over your ample breasts, even taking a moment with your other hand to ensure you had a sufficient amount of soap on each nipple as you rubbed and tugged at the sensitive nubs. You couldn’t help but grin at Ignis, who was watching your every move like a hawk. Once you were sufficiently covered in foam, you pushed Ignis aside to stand under the water, making sure to run your hands slowly all over your skin to help rid your body of the suds. Just as you made to rinse between your legs, he grabbed your hand and tsked at you.

“You know, I think you could be doing a better job of this. This simply won’t do. You’ll never get clean if you continue on like this.”

“Oh?” You feigned ignorance. “If you’re so good, then show me how it’s done?”

Ignis roughly grabbed you by the shoulders and turned you around, facing away from him. You started to protest but stopped as his hand moved between your thighs and you felt his fingers graze your slit. You moaned at the contact and spread your legs a little wider, leaning forward and resting your palms against the wall. Ignis leaned over you, your back flush with his chest as his other arm came to tweak one of your nipples.

“This is how it’s done, Kitten,” he growled in your ear.

Most of the soap had already washed off of your body during your little show, and he had pushed you out of the range of the jets, meaning that the wetness you felt between your legs was all your own. You bit back another moan as his digits delved between your folds. He pushed his long, nimble fingers all the way in to the knuckle and slowly eased them back out before diving in again. He pumped slowly while his other and massaged your breasts and mapped out your torso. You arched your back and lifted your ass towards him, allowing him full access to your dripping sex. Just when you thought you were at the cusp of your sweet release, he removed his hand and backed away.

You nearly dropped to your knees. You opened your eyes and turned towards your boyfriend, who stood there innocently licking his fingers.

“What?” He shrugged.

You glared back at him. You weren’t going to play his game anymore. Denying you your orgasm was cheating. You put on your best impassive expression and stepped back into the water, pushing him aside so you could wet your hair. “Nothing. Just going to wash my hair now.”

His gaze softened as he looked at you, eyes filled with love. “Let me help, darling.”

He grabbed your shampoo bottle and squirted a dollop into his hand. He motioned for you to turn around and you obliged yet again. He ran his fingers through your hair, massaging circles into your scalp and pulling the cleanser through your long tresses. You always loved going to the beauty salon simply because they offered a complimentary hair-wash and scalp massage at the start of each appointment, and you couldn’t help but notice Ignis’s long fingers did a better job than the professionals. You sighed and turned around when he finally pulled away. “Please rinse up, love. Don’t want to get soap in those pretty little eyes.” He tenderly kissed the tip of your nose. You scrunched it up, but returned his smile all the same.

After you finished rinsing off, you stared up at Ignis. “Want me to help you with your hair as well?”

“I’d love it.”

You tilted your head up and cleared your throat. “You know I can’t reach your head well when you’re standing, right?”

“Of course. How silly of me to forget.”

He knelt down, facing you as you lathered his shampoo between your hands. You leaned forward and ran your fingers through his locks. You massaged his scalp as you spread the soap all over his head. You released him and rinsed off your hands, expecting him to rise; only he didn’t. Before you could question him, he leaned forward, kissing your sex.

“Ignis!” you gasped. You leaned back, placing a hand on the wall for balance as you stood with your legs apart. He stared up at you with hungry eyes as he lapped and sucked at your clit. You bucked into his mouth and tried to think straight. You thought you were done with this round, but your body betrayed you. You simply could not get enough of this man.

“D-don’t you think you’ll get shampoo in your eyes if you s-stay like that?” you managed to stammer out.

He suddenly broke away and rose to his feet. Once again, you shook, only this time you did slide down to your knees on the tile.

“Ah, you’re perfectly right, love. Better rinse up!”

“How do you do it?” you shook your head.

“Do what?”

“Be rough and sexual one minute and then go back to sweet and innocent the next?”

“Self-control, darling. A skill you clearly have yet to master,” he chuckled. “Come on, let’s finish up our shower and then I’ll make us a light supper before bed, hmm?”

“Sure, sure,” you answered as you slowly got back on your feet. He was about to lather himself up in his soap when the idea popped into your head. This was going to be a game changer. “Ignis? Why don’t I help you? I can reach your back for you, at least.”

“Oh, alright. Thank you, darling.”

He faced away from you and you slowly ran your sudsy hands along the planes of his muscular back. You rubbed patterns into his spine as you traced it down to his ass. Your hands wandered down lower and gave him a slight squeeze.  He threw you a look over his shoulder.

You threw him an innocent grin. “Yes?”

“Nothing. Are you quite finished yet?”

“I believe so.”

He moved to rinse his back in the water before turning away from you again to lather up his front when you quickly wrapped your arms around his middle and pressed your nose into his back.

You reached for Ignis’s cock with your right hand and began pumping him slowly. He gasped and dropped the bottle of body wash onto the floor. He was already semi-hard, and so it only took a few more pumps to bring his member to full attention. You raked your nails up and down the front of one thigh while you continued to pump him with your fist. He couldn’t hold himself upright; he leaned forward, pressing his palms against the shower wall, knees trembling.

“You know, getting a house with a big shower was a good decision. I’m so glad you thought of it. Otherwise, we might not have enough room for activities such as this,” you teased.

You ceased your movements, but kept a firm grip on his throbbing member. He bucked into your fist, turning his head down to the floor and groaning. You smiled and pressed kisses against his spine. He whined at the lack of moment from your part and continued to buck into your hand, trying to relieve himself.

After a particularly hard thrust, you released him, planting a swift peck on his back before hoping out of the shower and grabbing your towel.

Ignis growled at you. “That’s not fair!”

You rushed to dry off your body and wrap your hair in your towel. “I know. Finish cleaning yourself off and then come find me.” You threw him a wicked grin and sauntered out of the door.

Ignis wasn’t sure he could finish showering in his current state. He thought about just finishing the job himself, but that wouldn’t do. He snorted at the thought of hurrying up and begging you to relieve him. No, he was going to come on his terms and if anything, you’d be the one begging that night.

When he finally exited the bathroom, he found you laying on the bed you shared, head propped up against your pillows, knees up, and legs spread wide. You were circling your clit with one finger, watching as his nostrils flared and pupils dilated. You let your finger graze down your slit and slip into your folds before coming back up to rub against your clit.

“It’s funny,” you spoke in a sultry voice. “I came out here to dry off, but I still seem to be dripping in some places. Think you could remedy the situation for me?” You brought your finger up to your mouth and sucked, running your tongue around the digit until you released it with a loud pop. You eyed Ignis’s erection as he licked his lips and sauntered over to the bed.

“Yes, I do believe I have just the thing to help you out.” He then proceeded to bury his face between your legs and make you come simply with the use of his tongue.

[petty-crush]

“Star Trek: The Motion Picture”

-the art pop “2001”, with frequent sexual undertones that would be right at home on a AC/DC record. Basically; majestic, and a little bawdy

-no matter what else, plus fifteen million cool points for the use of “The Motion Picture”. Classy as all hell

-on the scale of 1-10, the visuals are frequently fucking got-damn!

-this is definitely a Robert Wise film; he knew how to use black and white on “The Haunting” and his control of color and textures in “West Side Story” is mind blowing. He continues on in this film

-interesting hindsight note; in this film the uniform colors are frequently blue (as in tranquil and expansive); while in the follow up “Wrath of Khan” the more blooded and vengeance fuel scenario the uniforms are red (angry as shit)

-Kirk is way, way more of an asshole in this film. His reasons for regaining the captain’s chair here seem pretty much 100% selfishness(he comes off rather small), where in “Khan” it was about him doing what he was meant to do, for the well being of his whole team, and how he grew in accepting defeat

-alright, enough “Khan” comparisons

-I really like all the methodical scenes of the ship docking, the angles are terrific

-I love jerry Goldsmith but something about his music in the beginning of the film doesn’t quite work, emotionally; it seem to be trying too hard while more sparse notes would have underlined the majestic scope +I have a feeling he will turn the beat around later, though

-the people who get molecularly torn apart by the transporter look fucking gnarly (in the brief seconds we see them); very body horror

-I think bones looks good with a beard, and I boo him shaving

-I think the build up and the mystery of what the menace they are facing is is handled expertly; really good tension, really good playing of crowds to see the barely held mass panic

-I applaud the bold choice to have Spock’s motives being gray and questionable

-from certain angles George Takei looks like a Greek statue

-ahhh, the first sexual banter as Persis Khambatta as llia (looking baldly stunning) notes she has taken a vow of celibacy but still wistfuly smiles at the demoted captain Decker

-for his part, Stephen Collins plays Decker as a man in a desert looking at a glass of water whenever he glances toward llia

-I fucking love the scene where they go through a warp and the screen starts to color bleed and bend like a curdled view finder; +this is the shit I want to see!

-this might be the most muted and alien Spock has ever seemed

-again the ships floating through space just work; the atmosphere is terrific

-as they get closer and closer to their target, jerry goldsmith’s score is getting more and more magnificent

-extensive discussions with Kirk, Spock and Bones; the movie pretty much focuses on these three

-call me old fashioned, but I like the handle Sulu has when going into warp; something classic machine about it

-meanwhile, back at the love ranch, llsa continues to super nova melt Decker’s heart

-a while stream of light, like celestial lightening, rolls like waves through the ship

-Robert Wise is at it again; it looks terrific

-llsa gets transported away and now we have a name for the mysterious; V'Ger

-robo llsa comes back and demands answers; breaking Decker’s heart

-strange to see a incredibly beautiful alien woman and Kirk not being the one to try to court it

-neat moment as the robo llsa has all of Lisa’s software; including her buried feelings for decker; +so is love in the mind (follow up; is groove in the heart)?

-the special effects of the machine of V'Ger is really immaculate; this is some new visual goodness

-Spock goes out in a spacesuit through a pathway to see V'Ger that looks exactly like a space vagina (sexual reference #2549)

-“I have successfully penetrated the inner layer” (2550)

-the part Spock attempts to mind meld with V'Ger is great, a mind rip into the eye of God

-Spock reveals V'Ger is a machine, but also frightfully naive and angry, like a child

-to which Bones retorts “what do you suggest we do, spank it?!”

-classic Kirk bullshit as he cons robo illsa not to destroy earth and taken them to V'Ger

-not even going to lie; the part where the classic trio, spencer and robo llsa look at the landscape inside V'Ger is one of the best things I have ever seen; it is mind blowing and humbling

-now the secrecy about V'Ger is revealed; some laughed, some hooted but I find it sci fi in the most bold and and preposterous way

-what will sentient technology do when guided by other machine voices but still feels lonely? How will it lash out?

-spencer sacrifices himself but, you know, not really

-“The Motion Picture” deftly melds the two classic sci fi technology questions; “Does this sentient male machine have a soul?” and “can this female machine be fucked?”

-the glowing birth of new life is pretty splendid

-lost souls rather than dead bodies, ehh? How cosmically romantic

-jerry goldsmith ends his brilliant score on a high note

-I find this film to be a monumental success of science fiction, of stunning imagery and bigger questions; the human element can be a little dry; it never bothered me, as the first rate effects, costumes, and matte paints frequently had my jaw dropped. I started deep into the sea of stars, and drank from its wonder