#all this to say if anyone wants a pattern for smth i can probs find a free one/one costing a few dollars by an indie creator

[thechocoboos]

Hey, if you're not busy, could we see how the boys would handle a s/o who's prone to anxiety/panic attacks?

ho ho this hits close to home!

Warning: Anxiety

Headcanons: The Bros with an S/O with Anxiety

Noctis:

Noctis, while he understands the feeling, he’s also the one who’s the least sure about how to handle panic attacks and anxiety

As the prince, he’s had his fair share of anxiety at times, but he still has no fucking idea how to go about helping it

He’s also dense as a fucking rock sometimes, so it took him a little while to recognize your pattern of anxiety and how you behave when it happens

Even then, it took an explicit explanation from you for him to actually realize what was happening

Noctis isn’t quite sure what to do, but he definitely does his best

He has an overall calm feeling about him, maybe it’s from how chill he is, or maybe it’s just everything rolling off his back, but he’s nice in that he doesn’t ever make you feel anymore stressed or anxious

And when you are anxious, once he learns to recognize your signs of anxiety, he becomes really good at trying to help you without bringing too much attention from anyone else

His go-to thing is to try and get you away from others or whatever it is that’s overwhelming you, and he tries to give you time and quietness

He’s also the one who likes to give you long, comforting hugs when it gets bad and who tries to tell you that everything is okay, and that everything will be okay

He ends up going to Ignis for coping mechanisms, and of course, Ignis raises an eyebrow and begins with, “... If there’s anything… bothering you, Noctis, we can always find you a therapist--”

And Noctis has to shake his head and be like, “Nah bro it aint me--”

That topic does spark an idea, and Noctis realizes that he’s the crown prince who can afford anything he wants

And he knows he’s honestly not too great with trying to help you himself, but he has the means to help you get proper help

So Noctis gets you to therapy! Somehow he convinces you, and he wasn’t pushy or pressuring about it either

He’s not super great at helping you find coping mechanisms or anything, but he’s gentle and understanding, and his, for lack of a better word, “chill” demeanor makes it easier to cope at times

Sometimes, it is nice to have someone you trust sitting next to you or understanding that you need a moment, and Noctis and his overall calm demeanor at times can be soothing and feels supportive and comforting

He’ll hold your hand or hold you, his arms tugging you close and the sensation of his chin on your head or his thumbs rubbing circles against your skin can help ground you

Prompto:

Prom gets it. Like, he fucking Gets It

It didn’t take him long to recognize signs of anxiety/panic attacks when he started spending more time with you, but he wasn’t sure of how to approach the topic without being awkward or causing even more anxiety

He knows that it’s not something easy to talk to people about all the time, so it definitely takes a while before he brings it up

When you two finally talk about it, Prompto is probably out of all the bros, the most understanding of it, simply because of the anxiety that he’s dealt with in his own life

He already new a bunch of coping mechanisms--breathing exercises, distraction exercises, various ways to help prevent panic attacks or anxiety from building up too much

He’s also the one who knows what shit to not say; he’s not about to say, “everything’s okay, you’re fine, it’s not too bad--” because he fucking knows that you know that, and knowing that and saying that doesn’t make anything better (@ noctis)

He’s not always the best at realizing when you might have worse anxiety than normal, so he always, always tries to check on you (as subtle as he can, which admittedly isn’t much, but he did make up code words for you two to use!)

Prompto will pull you away from people and sit with you to try and breathe with you

He reminds you to breathe, he holds your hands and listens when you try to talk through your feelings, he reminds you that your feelings are valid and that he’s there for you

He’s also pretty good at distracting you from your anxiety if it gets too much

Grounding techniques??? He knows ‘em all!!!

Sometimes he either picks up on your anxiety and it can rub off on him, and admittedly, when you’re both having massive anxiety, it’s a bit of a wreck

Eventually though, he learns that at times like that, it’s just best for you two to go home and have some quiet time--maybe with each other, maybe not--to try and ground yourselves or calm down

Other times, Prom might not realize at first that you’re having anxiety or a panic attack, especially if he’s super excited or caught up in something

However, he always makes it up to you and when he does realize that your anxiety is skyrocketing or building up at all, he is very quick to try and jump into action to help you cope or get you somewhere less stressful

He even tries to plan around your anxiety, as in, if you guys really want to go to the mall but you have social anxiety or crowded areas make your anxiety worse, he tries to plan to go on days and at times when it’s less busy

He’s not always logical about it, and it doesn’t always work, but he tries, and that attempt is more than so many other people will do, so it really means a lot

He also has the urge to try and help you feel better, but he’s bad at realizing that there are a lot of times when he can’t help, just because there’s not always a root cause (it honestly kills him during those times, he feels so awful knowing there’s nothing he can do)

Ignis:

Ignis was quick to realize, too

He didn’t realize it was anxiety at first, but he did know that something was up

And he’s also quick to discuss it with you

He’s gentle when he asks about your anxiety: how long it’s been going on, what your triggers are (if you know them), what coping mechanisms work best for you, etc

He does try to subtly ask how it might’ve developed, but he never pushes for an answer and understands if you don’t want to dwell on it (and apologizes for pushing any boundaries)

Iggy just wants to understand as best he can, in an effort to try and help you out as much as he can

He keeps an eye on you for any signs of anxiety attacks or panic attacks or anything, so that if your anxiety does flare, he can whisk you away someplace else to try and help alleviate any stress and anxiety

He knows that sometimes there’s nothing he can truly do to make your anxiety go away or to help you feel better, and while it does kill him, he tries to accept that, knowing that if he were to aimlessly fret over it constantly that it could make it so much worse

Ignis is a man of research! He does sooo much research to try and find coping mechanisms, possible triggers like caffeine, and all sorts of other stuff

Like I said, he knows that he can’t always help, but if he can, he definitely will

And make no mistake, this man will tear hell apart to get you safe and somewhere safe for you

And if you ask him to back off or give you space? He gives it. No ifs, ands, or buts, unless your safety is at risk

Similar to Prompto, Ignis does what he can to make plans during times/days when things are less busy for you

Except, unlike Prompto, Ignis’ plans usually work out better

Iggy is also the most subtle about helping you, which honestly makes things so much better

You don’t want everyone else to know about your business or your anxiety, so having a S/O that is actually subtle about helping you makes you feel better about it sometimes

Gladio:

Honestly, Gladio is the one who probs needed the most time to try and accept/understand the whole anxiety thing

He’s the kind of guy who’d try to “teach” someone to not be afraid of shit so that’s probably the mindset he has when you first approach him about it

And it was in fact, that mindset that led to a huge fight, an almost-breakup, and actually caused a lot of anxiety and panic attacks

It took both Cor and Ignis trying to explain the deal of what anxiety is and what not to do for Gladio to finally get the deal about it

Gladio feels guilty about he first handled it for years tbh, but you forgave him when you saw how hard he tries to help you when your anxiety flares or when you have panic attacks

Gladio grows to understand that sometimes anxiety makes it so hard to make decisions and being pushed for decisions/to do things makes it worse, so he’ll often man the helm of decision making when things get tough (like you can’t decide where to eat or what to buy or order at a restaurant, so he’ll ask you if you’re in the mood for smth that he knows you like)

He also can make himself the most intimidating person to get others to leave you alone when you guys are out and about, just for enough time to get you somewhere you feel safer or more comfortable at

After a little bit of time, he ends up being surprisingly very observant about your anxiety and can usually start to tell that your anxiety is getting worse before you even notice sometimes

Sometimes when you have anxiety and just want to hide from the world to try and make it go away, or are shaking so bad and can’t make it go away no matter what you do, he’ll just lay down with you and stroke your hair, taking deep breaths to try and help you breathe again

Sometimes seeing your anxiety or panic attacks makes him feel scared too, just because he knows there’s nothing he can do to make it really go away, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try

[kae-karo]

Since you mentioned being in the mood for asks: I think I like my best friend. She knows I'm not straight. But has never actually said she's not straight but has discussed possibility of her sexuality being fluid? She doesn't open up to anyone. And so it's really hard to understand her feelings and I am always afraid of crossing the line by asking her too many questions? So I just avoid asking a question twice. I know our friendship will be ruined if I let her know about my feelings ( 1/2 )

But idk what to do with all these pent up feelings :( she gets close to me but then seems to be very distant after a while. Back and forth. Idk what to do. Especially with all this time in my hand during quarantine all I do is overthink about everything in my life including her. Oh no I'm ranting. Sorry have a great day !!! Love you Katie !!! 🖤🖤🖤 :) ( 2/2 )

hello dear!! 💜💜💜 okay first and foremost never never feel like you have to apologize for sending long/multi-part asks/rambling/etc i adore getting asks and it is never something you should feel bad about!!

now, onto advice here...there are a lot of different options ofc for what you could do, and i won’t say that there’s one right answer or one thing that’s better than another. i am and always will be an advocate for communication and honesty in relationships/friendships/etc, but i think the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide what route you want to go

the kind of key directions would ofc be to 1. explain your feelings and see if she feels the same 2. decide that you do Not want your current friendship with her to change and that you would rather move on from being interested in her without mentioning that you have feelings or 3. keep on the same path you’re currently on and sort of just...wait it out

uhhh i will say that option 3 is usually...one to avoid, if you can. specifically bc this will probably leave you feeling Bad and that’d be something that’s uhhh not good lmao

so say you want to try telling her how you feel, naturally this comes with the risk (as you mentioned) that she might not feel the same/that you might ruin the friendship by saying something about it, but unfortunately...there’s not really much of a way around that risk. that said, and keeping in mind that idk her or how she tends to act/react to certain situations, there are probably ways to go about this that mitigate some of the risks

if i were in your shoes and decided i wanted to go this route, i might genuinely try to keep it as lowkey and casual as possible, and try to avoid making it some Big Thing™. i’d probs just say smth like ‘hey y’know i think i might have feelings for u beyond just friendship, i wanted to just let you know in case you felt the same, but if not, no worries! it doesn’t change that i still want to be friends with you, and i obviously am not gonna act any differently toward you if you don’t feel the same.’ like. i would try to make it clear that 1. i wouldn’t want anything to change if she didn’t feel the same and 2. that i have no expectations of her

especially since it sounds like she’s still figuring out who she might be into, i might also add something like ‘i totally understand you’re still figuring stuff out, i don’t want you to feel any added pressure, just wanted to be open and honest with you’ (sometimes being open can help others open up too!)

now, that said, it sounds like you might be erring more on the side of wanting to move on and get over your feelings for her - which is totally valid! or, ofc, if you tell her and she’s like ‘yeah man sorry i’m just not into you!’ then u would naturally want to move on without making things uncomfy. in that event, i have one very major recommendation: distractions

i get it! it’s hard with quarantine to keep your mind occupied with other things/people/etc, but unfortunately, moving on isn’t something that can just be done, it requires practice and patience and time

one thing you can try is choosing something you already enjoy and finding an aspect of that to dive deeper into. for example, fan of a show/book? go search for fanart or fanfic if you’re into that! come up with an oc just for fun in whatever universe that piece of media is in, even if u never show it to anyone. pick a few blogs you’ve seen who post a lot and check them out, maybe follow if they seem cool! write fic or draw art, whether it be of an oc or existing characters or even just scenes or something! especially try this out even if you’ve never done either of those things before - and don’t get discouraged if those things aren’t perfect, just give them a shot and you might find something you really enjoy! grab a character or ship you usually don’t give much attention to/haven’t seen before and go check out their tag!

along this route, i speak a lot about fandom/fictional media bc that is what i personally use as an escape, but the same goes for activism/politics/languages/animals/other subjects/literally anything that is of interest to you! there is almost always an unexplored aspect of something that you can dive into. but! in the event that you can’t or don’t find anything interesting...

another thing is to find something new! a show you’ve heard about but never watched (or a show you’ve literally never heard of before but like just keeps popping up on ur netflix page), a book you’ve been putting off reading, a youtuber that seems p cool, a skill or language or craft or really, literally anything you haven’t done, and trying it. invest a bit of time and energy and just see where it takes you, let yourself think about this new thing and follow your line of curiosity. some of the best (and worst/dumbest/most cursed) ideas i’ve ever had came from just. randomly following the line of curiosity in my head and seeing where it takes me. hell, that’s what led to me writing fic in the first place!

and be forgiving of yourself too, don’t associate thoughts about this person with any kind of ‘oh shit i’m not supposed to be thinking about her’ kind of reactions, just gently redirect your thoughts to that one episode you just watched, or the question you have about the universe it exists in, or what crocheting pattern you want to try out first, etc etc etc. again, this kind of thing takes time and patience and won’t happen overnight, but you absolutely can get there!

the last ‘distraction’ i tend to go for is revisiting old interests! that fic or book you read a long time ago but still have/still have bookmarked as a fave? pick it back up and give it a reread - the cool thing about stories is that, over time, our perspectives change, and the way we experience the story and the emotions we feel over it change as well. same goes for old shows, esp if it’s been a minute! you can even do this in tandem with the first distraction type and dig back into fandoms you haven’t seen in a while!

it can be hard to remember sometimes - esp while we’re in quarantine! - that worlds exist outside our current interests and spheres of influence. whatever you decide to do, dear, just remember that things will be okay in the end (even if they’re not okay at first) so long as you try to do what’s right for you and be thoughtful and caring along the way. i hope this helped at least a little!