#allegedly was interesting but also kinda disappointing :|

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Greetings everyone! It is 4am and you know what that means. Thats right, its time to read ACOMAF :) chapters 41 this time. enjoy

Chapter 41

What we're just smashcutting straight to Velaris?? we're not gonna see Feyre talk about all the shit the mortal queens just said with her sisters??

ugh dont remind me of the fact that amren drinks blood but only animal blood because human blood is too watery or whatever. she couldve been my vampire girlie in this a/b/o world but instead shes just a lame disappointment in a lame disappointment world. that also doubles as an a/b/o world, lest we forget that

ughhhhh dont remind me of the fae not being affected by iron

Okay, i have to admit this line kinda slaps: "Maybe then Elain would get an engagement ring that wasn't forged out of hatred and fear."

Yeah Feyre, I hate to say it but you failed HARD as an ambassador, you are so bad at politics, but technically this was all Rhysands idea so I'd say it was his responsibility to make sure youre not bad at politics, so Im blaming him for all this

I made a joke in my last post about how the night court is really US governmentcore and now Cassian is like "we could just kill the current queens and put queens in place thatll cooperate with us" and the only reason Rhys doesnt wanna do it is because it would take too long and because they dont know what effect this will have on the book, not because, i dont know, he'd be interfering with foreign affairs and robbing all of humanity of their agency. I mean, its a monarchy so i guess humanity didnt have too much of a choice when they ascended to the throne, but atleast those queens have their best interests at heart and dont cooperate with former slave-owners

Why does Feyre care so muh about Mor potentially hurting Azriels feelings, is he not acting like Tamlin at the start of ACOMAF where he was all like "no Feyre, you cant go to the sper dangerous place, its dangerous"

Okay so, the oldest queen is the queen of The Black Land, which is a very vaguely africa-coded place, where humans were born slaves to the fae, unlike everyone else where I guess humans had to get captured by the fae to be enslaved OBVIOUSLY she doesnt wanna cooperate with fae, shes even more justified in her decision in my eyes

But then Im thinking, why can she even decide what happens with that little piece of land, Im guessing thats not part of the black land so would that not fall under the jurisdiction of one of the other queens? Honestly, they shouldve just spoken to each queen alone, I get that theyre strapped for time but im sure they couldve forged atleast one alliance without the oldest queen speaking for all of them there. Also, from a doylist perspective, it wouldve been good padding since sjm insists on making her books stupidly long and it wouldve probably given us a more functional government structure because right now it just seems like these queens who allegedly each have a kingdom to run are just hanging out in the same palace all making collectively decisions for the entire continent, which is stupid

What is it with Sarah J Maas and portraying freedom fighters being very dedicated to their cause as a bad thing, sepcifically because its not very condusive to a romantic relationship? Like, in Crescent City Hunt was a rebel and he was in love with the leader of the rebellion before she was killed and he enslaved and its very tragic and he cant love anyone but her, but then he manages to move on and fall in love with Bryce and it turns out to be a better experience for him. Specifically, theres this one scene where he buys her this jade egg or maybe she buys him one i dont remember, and he reflects on how if he had given that kind of gift to his former lover she wouldve appreciated it for one second and then just let it rot on some shelf because she just had other things on her mind, and I thought that was an interesting perspective for their relationship, but now that we're getting a similar thing with Jurian and Miriam except Jurian isnt the love interest of the MC so hes more likely to get demonized it seems kinda weird innit

Oh boy we're gonna get the UTM reeanactment soon arent we. sighhhhhh

Btw what the hell is up with Mors truth powers. Apparently a lot of people in her bloodline have them?? What makes Mor so special then, i thought the reason she was special was because her power was unique. I guess its just uniquely strong then (FOR A WOMAN) but thats just lame and also weird imo

Oh the Hewn City is called 'Höhlenstadt' ['Cave City'] in german and I think that sounds pretty bad ngl. rare Alexandra Ernst L

Feyre keeps going about how Rhys is gonna risk everything for the sake of stopping the war and its like, girlie if you keep jacking him so hard youre gonna rip his dick off, but also, hes not gonna tell anyone where Velaris is right?? Like, it'll still be hidden and safe behind that force field, people are just gonna know of its existence now. And even if Veritas shows the queens Velaris by starting off with a birdseye view of Prythian and then zooming in, that wouldnt be enough for the mortal queens to figure out Prythians geography to the point where they could actually tell where it is, not the mention that Velaris is positioned in a way that makes any attacks, but especially attacks from the mortal land, extremely difficult

Feyre talking about the repressed desire she felt when she say Rhys all naked and vulnerable when he woke up from that nightmare is very inappropriate when you consider that he was dreaming about his rapist, but is also surprisingly relatable because I too like my men best when theyre submissive and crying. its a crime rhysand never ended up getting pegged tbh

Rhysand talking about how he cant bear the thought of Feyre mentally returning to UTM when she just barely managed to leave it behind is funny cuz its like, whos idea is it gonna be to dress Feyre up like she was when you were assaulting her UTM. i dont think its her

I dont know what it is but Im already so over this stupid plotline with Mor and Eris, maybe Im just tired cuz its early but god, i dont ever wanna hear about it again

[choiliner]

like. being honest now that i know that anime apparently was heavily censored in korea to remove the problematic aspects of it, i don't think soobin would've been dumb enough to mention it if he was actually watching the original uncensored version of it, bc i don't think he'd be promoting basically child porn AND bighit would keep that up on weverse, it's also kinda ??? how people are only talking about it over a year later. and from what i've read if you removed all the problematic parts then the plot would sound kinda interesting (for thriller/horror enjoyers at least). HOWEVER we can't really know for sure which version he had access to, which version he was watching. it could be any of them, since apparently there's 2 different levels of censorship in korea for this anime, and the original one is probably not hard to find online if he knew about it. i tried to dig a little bit into it but i kept seeing short clips from the original version and it was disturbing enough for me to not want to go any deeper into it. if he was indeed watching the original one then i just 🤢 bc 1) this is disturbing and disappointing and 2) he should know better than to mention it to his fans. it doesn't matter if he said he DOESN'T recommend it, just mentioning it is enough of a recommendation to most people

so i'm not gonna immediately throw him under the bus bc yes there is a chance that he was watching the censored version (which allegedly was very popular in korea), plus according to some people what was translated as provocative in his speech actually means "disturbing" (and the plot itself without all the problematic parts is still disturbing in a thriller kinda way) bc if that's the case he wouldn't be the first person on earth to watch something without knowing a thing about its source material, but i'm also not gonna sit here and act like there isn't a high chance that he was actually enjoying something completely messed up like that. and i truly genuinely hope he speaks up about it asap and bighit doesn't try to sweep it under the rug like they've always done bc for the once this is actually a serious matter imo

[thedo0zyslider]

Explosions Across Lifetimes: - Chapter Twenty Seven: Repairing What We Broke - 3k Words

Fwhip heads over to the Codlands, yet when he leaves Jimmy still feels as empty as he had when his partner had arrived.

A03 Link

Playlist

Jimmy stands in his empire one day, on the docks to be exact, not really sure what to do. All his emperor stuff has been taken care of, none of them active projects about the empire really require his help (his citizens have encouraged him to take a break anyways, because he’s allegedly been “doing too much” for them or whatever,) and he has zero interest in getting the crown back, and also zero interest in doing whatever rule is currently in play. Everyone keeps the crown for a month at least, and it probably hasn’t been a month, so he still has plenty of time for all of that.

The blonde stands there, thinking about it, and can’t remember when his last entirely free day was. Though he supposes this one isn't entirely free either, because he still has the ongoing Codfather head problem. Which he needs to think of another way to try and get it back, actually.

He stares at the water below, trying to see if can see any fish swimming beneath the surface. The cod only gets in a few minutes of that brainstorming in anyways, which isn’t a problem, because it wasn’t going well anyways. And he’d probably have just gotten mad at himself if he thought for longer and came up with no ideas in the end.

There’s the sound of an elytra a few feet away, and the cod smiles to himself. He knows who that is, and figures it was probably due for one of his visits anyways. It had been a good while, hadn’t it? The blonde isn’t even surprised at the sounds of footsteps behind him, and the familiar feeling of being hugged from behind, of being held in a certain someone’s familiar embrace.

“Hi~” Fwhip purred, resting his head on Jimmy’s shoulder. A giggle escapes the cod, warm breath and a singular, light kiss being pressed into the crook of his neck. Warm hands go to rest idly on his waist, and Jimmy can’t help but laugh again.

“Hello there.” He hums lightly, leaning into the contact like it's the easiest thing in the world. “Why’re you here?”

Jimmy could feel the roll of his partner's eyes without even seeing it. “Do I need a reason to see you?”

“No, but…” The blonde trailed off purposefully, trying to cast a meaningful glance at the head resting on his shoulder. He knew the Count too well by this point, and had been subjected to one to many of his visits over the prior months. He knew could tell when Fwhip was there for something, or if he simply just missed his partner and wanted cuddles.

“ Fine , I am here for something.” The half dragon huffed, and the warm exhale against Jimmy’s skin was almost enough to make him laugh for a third time. “I wanted to fix up that nether portal I broke a few months ago. Still feel bad about it and all.”

“You’re just a big sap, aren’t you?” Jimmy mumbled fondly, surprised that Fwhip could still feel guilty over that. He’d kinda forgotten about it, amongst other things that had been going on.

“Do you want my help or not?” Fwhip snorted, nuzzling into shoulder, probably because he knew that would make the cod melt and go all soft. The bastard.

Jimmy let out a faux sigh in response. “I suppose I do.”

Another kiss was pressed to the side of his neck, almost absentmindedly, as the Count flashed a rather toothy grin. “Good! I already brought all the obsidian and things!”

“You didn’t have to!” He protested, knowing the cod empire had more than enough materials to rebuild that small portal area, and that it probably should’ve been done sooner because of that one small fact.

“I had extra, and I wasn't gonna use all the natural decor stuff anyways.” The Count shrugged, beginning to remove his hold on the cod’s waist. Jimmy held back a rather disappointed click at that, yet still tried to chase his boyfriend’s warmth, even as they slowly moved further apart.

“Mmm, you have a point there.” He agreed, going to hold on to the ginger's hand, and gently lace their fingers together. Maybe because he knew that would make Fwhip go all soft for him, and maybe it was revenge for a minute earlier, or maybe he just wanted to hold this guy's hand for the hundredth time. Though he was pretty sure the other could guess which one it truly was. Maybe it was both.

Fwhip let out an amused snort, but the blonde could feel how his body relaxed at their interlocked hands, and the fondness hidden underneath his words. “Are we gonna get started, or stand here for a few more minutes?”

“How ‘bout both.” Jimmy mumbled, and moved so he could press a kiss into the other’s cheek.

“ Orchid. ” Fwhip let out a teasing warning in response, pressing yet another handful of fleeting pecks to Jimmy’s neck and around his throat gills. He stifled another laugh at the sensation.

“Alright, alright. Let's get moving.” The cod sighed, doing so rather dramatically. Fwhip let out a small purr, and fully moved away from the cod. The two of them had barely been separated for a minute, and he was already missing the Count’s touch, though he supposed he could beg for cuddles later, after their work was done.

He leads his partner towards the now destroyed nether portal area, casually slipping his hand into the Count’s and lacing their fingers together once again; even if they had only let go of each other barely a minute before. Fwhip squeezes his hand in return, and starts talking about his idea for the place, though he pauses every once and a while so Jimmy can add his own input. By the time they reach the portal the two have made a solid design plan, one that won’t be too hard to change if needed.

As Fwhip lets go of his hand and places the materials he’d brought onto the grass, Jimmy can’t help himself. He tugs his partner in for a swift kiss, the Count laughing into it. It only happens for a few moments, but it’s the best thing in the world to the cod. It feels like it anyways. They pull away slowly, with giggles and snorts of amusement, and Fwhip just simply holds his face in his palms and cradles it lovingly. Jimmy has to stop himself from sighing into the sensation, and goes to nuzzle into one of Fwhip’s palms.

Suddenly, there is a slightly awkward, yet amused cough from off to the couples left. Surprised, they glance over to see Caleb standing there, his tail flicking idly behind him and against the muddy ground below his feet. The two of them, both now red in the fact and decently embarrassed, scramble away rather quickly. Its like they’d forgotten they were in a public space, or something.

“Hello, Count Fwhip, Jimmy.” Caleb greeted the half dragon quite cheerily, like he hadn’t just walked by on the two of them snogging. They were lucky it was him and not some other random person really, now that Jimmy thought about it.

“I told you to drop the ‘Count’ part, didn’t I?” Fwhip said, not so discreetly wrapping an arm around the Codboy’s waist, much like he had done the day the very portal behind him had been destroyed. His tone was teasing, and that famillair toothy smile starts to spread across his features slowly.

“Sorry, force of habitat!” Caleb smiles sheepishly in response, and rubs the back of his head. Fwhip gives a nonchalant shrug in response, an indicator that he;s not too bothered by it. “What are you two doing, by the way?”

“We’re rebuilding the nether portal!” Jimmy explains, and flicks his tail in two directions. The first is the still destroyed land behind them, that had been so far closed off for safety concerns, and the other is to the obsidian, grass and other aesthetic things Fwhip had managed to spare and bring over.

Caleb’s eyes light up as he sees where Jimmy points too, and the blonde is once again reminded of his friend's inclination for decoration. Joel had liked him quite a lot for that trait, the one time the two had met a few years back, Jimmy recalls. “Could I pitch in somehow?”

“Nah, it’s not needed.” Fwhip says it gently, so as to not entirely crush the excitement radiating from their friend. Jimmy makes a mental note to give the other cod another decoration job, maybe around the horribly bland Council buildings. “This is a one person job, so three feels like a bit too many.” The part about them being sweet and insufferable and still missing each other goes unsaid, but Caleb has also just witnessed them being sappy, so it didn't need to be added at all really.

“Ah, that’s okay!” Caleb smiles, yet a bit of the light does die from his eyes. Jimmy’s frills twitch slightly at that, and he’s half tempted to invite their friend anyways, But Fwhip seems to have other news that would cheer the young cod up.

“Clara said she wanted to see you again, by the way.” The Count says nonchalantly, and flashes a quick grin at Jimmy. The blonde can’t help but fondly roll his eyes, and hold back a rather amused snort at his Council members reaction.

At the mention of their friend, Caleb goes more than just a tiny bit red in the face. “D-did she?” He stammered, and near instantly started to anxiously fiddle with his hands.

“She did!” Fwhip responded, his tone turning genuine. Good, Clara had actually said that, and it wasn;t just something the half dragon had made up; even if it would've been to cheer up a friend. (Not that Clara would’ve minded that potential lie very much....) “Wouldn’t hurt to stop by sometime soon, would it?”

Caleb brightens up again almost instantaneously. “Yeah! I, uh, I’ll drop by when I next get the chance!” He stumbles the words out, a rather giddy smile appearing on his face at the thought of visiting the Grimlands once more. Him and Clara are adorable really, whatever they are.

Jimmy speaks next, a cheeky grin creeping it way onto his face. “I’ll make sure he has a chance too, then!” He watches as Caleb processes that, then makes a strangled noise and blushes harder than the cod thinks he’s ever seen him blush. He doesn’t even protest having time off work to go see Clara, just tries to regain his composure. Beside him Fwip laughs, shaking both of their frames as he does so, and Jimmy smiles triumphantly at his own successful quip. 

The blonde speaks towards Caleb again, once all the spluttering and giggling has died down. “Can you make sure no one comes by? Just in case?” He asks, not wanting any of the children or unknowinging citizens to get hurt while the two of them cleaned the broken obsidian away and covered up the rather large hole in the ground.

“Alright!” Caleb, still a little red in the face, gives a salute. It causes both of the rulers to let out a few more small giggles, which follow the other cod until he is out of both hearing range and sight.

The two of them crouch in the ground after that, and a small silence begins to stretch between them. It is there Jimmy notices how they feel…a little off kilter. It’s from their prior argument, he knows that. They still care for each other, that had just been, a rather large hurdle to go through is all. And maybe, Caleb has been shooed away so they could spend more time together, to try and fix that off balance feeling that still lingered in the air between them. At least that’s what Jimmy thinks, and quietly building with only the sounds of the empire to listen to gives you a lot of time to think. He can also hear the occasional hum the man beside him lets out, something Jimmy knows he does out of pure, unthinking habit at this point. The cod smiles at the sound, and lets it wash over him until that, along with his workflow, is abruptly interrupted.

Fwhip lets out a low curse, and the Codboy looks over, alarmed. He sees his partner's hands shaking, and the Count fumbling with a rather sharp piece of obsidian. He frowns in concern, and reaches over to place one of his hands atop of the others. It gets Fwhip to stop shaking, and stops the other from cutting his hand with the glass like mineral he held.

“Careful, rose.” Jimmy muttered, taking the sharp and broken obsidian pieces away from his partner, at least until his hands stopped shaking and he could hold them safely again.

“I know, I know.” Fwhip half mumbled, half sighed out the words. He stared down at his shaking hands, a frown etching its way onto his sharp features.

Jimmy shuffled slightly closer, his gaze growing concerned. “You're not bleeding are you?”

“No, no. It’s not that..” The Count mumbled with a shake of his head, one voluntary unlike the tremors that wracked his other limbs.

“Then what is it?” The cod hummed, moving more, bugger shards of the glass like rock off to the side and into a pile, so it could be disposed of easier. Fwhip started doing the same next to him, though he took care to be more careful than his partner was being in the moment. Because of the shaking hands and all.

“Just…anxious I think.” The Count moved to replace some of the displaced earth around them, a way to keep his hands busy in a safe manner for the next however many minutes he needed too.

“About what?” Jimmy asked, bumping their shoulders almost without a second thought.

Fwhip bumped him back. “Not sure really. I just…got anxious for some reason.”

“Ah, I get that.” That was normal really, everyone got those random bursts of anxiety. He thought so anyway. Or maybe he and Fwhip both just had some kind of an anxiety disorder, which was also an equally possible option than the first was. (He does have to wonder if Fwhip too had been thinking, and those thoughts had caused his anxiety to spike. But Fwhip didn’t lie to him very often, so he wasn’t even sure if that stupid little theory was true. It was nothing, probably. Hopefully.)

Fwhip’s only response was a noncommittal flick of his tail, and both of them resumed their work in a somewhat comfortable kind of silence, small conversations only managing to slip in here and there. Mostly, Jimmy was just trying to enjoy his partner’s presence once more. 

It feels like they’re learning about each other for the first time again. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just doesn’t feel the greatest after the last few weeks is all.

But still when Jimmy was the one to inevitably cut his hand on the broken obsidian shards, Fwhip pulled him closer and fished out those bandages and the small thing of disinfectant he always kept in his coat pocket. Because he was accident prone, as he had told Jimmy, a lifetime ago, before all of this had even begun to start. He wrapped up Jimmy’s wound like he had that lifetime ago, and it felt like they were learning about each other yet at the same time nothing had changed between them in the slightest bit. Nothing at all.

When Fwhip is done he presses a kiss to Jimmy knuckles, and then another, and another and another and another; endless kisses placed to the skin of his hands, and nothing has changed between them at all. Jimmy laughs after a minute, and says they need to get back to work. Though one last kiss is placed gently to his palm before they do, right over his newly made bandages, and Jimmy feels so in love he thinks he’s going to die.

They finished repairing the area quickly after that, though the project was not going to take that long in the first place, especially not with two people working on it together. Again, his nether portal area was small compared to most everyone else’s, maybe embarrassingly so. 

A few citizens come by, now that they can safely walk through the area once again; since the broken obsidian has finally been disposed of. They complement the couple’s handiwork, and Fwhip even gets a few friendly exchanges in with some of the codfolk standing the closest to him. Someone asks about sending out nether expeditions again, and Jimmy makes a mental note to probably organize that later. 

And somehow, they manage to slip away, and Jimmy kisses his partner again on a spur of the moment thought. And Fwhip grips part of his shirt, and kisses him back just as hungrily, and doesn’t stop kissing him. They are stumbling towards the Codboy’s shack and laughing, only doing so in the brief moments in between kisses. Between Fwhip’s sweet lips and the non stop giggling, there is barely any breath left in the blonde’s lungs by the time they reach his house, one of their backs hitting the side of it as they connect their lips for probably the tenth time in under five minutes.

They continue once they are inside and the door is firmly shut behind them, not even detangling from each other to do that. The Count presses him against the couch, their hands roaming over every part of the other they could reach. Kisses are placed to his jawline, his neck, his shoulder blades and even more are pressed to Jimmy’s lips. Some more harsher and risque than a few of the softer ones. He returns all of them best he can, letting Fwhip practically swallow him whole. 

Though eventually they stop, Fwhip’s breath finally falling in rather heavy pants against his face. They stop because someone's communicator is buzzing almost nonstop, because someone is almost half an hour late to a Wither Rose Alliance meeting, because someone seems to be forgetting it in favor of his little boyfriend. And it seems rather important, for messages from Gem and occasionally Sausage to be spammed into his boyfriend's communicator for a good five minutes of them making out.

Jimmy shoves Fwhip off him, off his couch, and towards the door, and has to stop Norman from getting out in the process. The half dragon laughs, catching himself on the doorframe, as the Codfather shoos his pesky little boy out of the room for a few minutes. The cod watches, for just a second, as his partner laughs, and admires marks dotting across his pale skin; ones that he could never even begin to hide, even if he had the time too.

The Count quickly fixes his collar the best he can, which is rendered ultimately useless by the several messy goodbye kisses he manages to coax Jimmy into. Which isn’t hard, all he had to do was connect their lips, full of fire as he did so, and the cod would match his energy without even a singular thought about it.

There is more buzzing from Fwhip’s pocket, and Jimmy pulls away again, and is finally able to get his boyfriend to leave and go to his damn meeting.

He lays back down on the couch, Norman eventually coming to lay on top of him, and the Codboy knows the rest of the day, hell, the rest of the month, will feel so much duller than anything in those ten minutes would ever be. Those ten minutes had been full of life, and love and warmth and what had to be pure sugar, and the rest of the minutes would be cold and dead and a constant reminder of the blonde’s never ending and seemingly constant stressors.

Later, when Jimmy sees the Cod Council for what has to be the hundredth time that much, they tell him he is still not worthy. As they do nearly almost every day, either because Jimmy begs and grovels or they are reminding him of the mysterious task he needs to fulfill to get his Codfather’s head back.

He’d rebuilt the nether portal, hadn't started a conflict over it breaking, and returned his empire's easy access to valuable items for potions and the like. And that still wasn’t enough, on top of everything else he had done, they still said Jimmy was not worthy

And the cod was starting to think he never truly would be.

[liviasdrusillas]

as promised, here are my thoughts on the first two eps of domina under the cut! Spoilers ahead!

episode I

- the missing livia storyline was interesting but felt a bit...unnecessary?

- super super sad to see that antigone won’t be returning this season, i loved her character and i loved her relationship with livia but i’m happy to see that tycho will be sticking around!

- in other unnecessary things, i’m not keen on gemina’s character and i really hope she doesn’t get in the way of drusus’ and antonia’s relationship because i would be disappointed to see a love triangle detract from a marriage that was allegedly extremely happy and faithful

- i kinda feel bad for marcella and i’m not particularly keen on what was done with her character

- ADORE the costumes and the aesthetic, the set and costume department has nailed it once again!

- the writing for vipsania is......interesting.......

episode 2

- again, what is the point of gemina.......

- l have issues with the way they portray livia’s relationships with her sons, especially drusus but hoping that’ll be fixed in future eps

- i love the new casting for tiberius and i love how well they portray his relationship with drusus

- i love both antonias and i think they make such a welcome addition to the season!

- antonia minor already has a special place in my heart and the writing for her relationship with drusus is very promising so i loved the little glimpses of them we got!

- loved seeing more of julia and i hope that she’ll get more screentime in future eps

- it’s really only a matter of time before livia finds out about gemina and of course the consequences of that are fairly predictable

- the introduction of the vestal virgins was super interesting and i love alexandra moen

verdict: out of the two, the second episode is definitely much stronger. this show is at its best when it focuses on the julio-claudian family dynamic as a whole and gives screentime to more than one member of the family. there are so many intersecting storylines (julia, agrippa, octavia, antonia & drusus, etc) and it’ll be a shame if the writers don’t give those storylines their spotlight throughout the season. while i understand the need for random plot twists (gemina, livia getting lost, etc), i hope the show doesn’t forego focusing on historical material, of which there is so much to work with, for the sake of drama! i think the season will get much stronger as it goes along as the first episode and much of the second was reminding the audience of last seasons events and also setting the stage for the succession bids that are to come

i’m expecting that in ep4 or ep5, we’ll have the storyline of julia’s two sons being seen as successors, etc

i also would not be surprised if iullus doesn’t survive this season :/

[mobiused]

hi mobi! since im not good at following fandom dynamics, do you know if there is any particular reason orbits are hating on re:verse? (at least on twitter it was suffering a backlash). I mean i did saw most people saying that hyeju was there obviously against her will bc she hates ageyo and all and some people even said that we should make effort to eliminate her for "her own good". now im kinda worried abt this bc hyeju is really competitive and if this happen i think she gonna be disappointed and kinda mad lol, also if she really dont wanna be there she would do like hyunjin and self sabotage so.. i just wanted to know your general opinion abt all of this bc you seem to have a different view abt this than most of the people and i think thats interesting what you said abt hyeju trying to be more silly etc. also sometimes i get kind of unconfortable with those kind of orbits who seem to not know the difference between hyeju real personality (that is actually strong) and the idol persona that bbc gave to her and the get to patronize and infantilaze her(not in the good sense lol)

The answer is Twitter orbits are stupid and operate on a mob mentality. If one person with a large following says "Hyeju is participating in this against her will and if they debut itll tear loona apart 😡😡" then everyone will unquestioningly believe it. I think people are scared of the notion that heehye would leave loona over it, but did the G-idle members leave their group for KDA? No, right? There's literally no downsides to them competing, and only positive things like exposure, more music, and keeping the girls busy which is something the girls say they like to do - especially if we consider that 2019, the year they basically did nothing, took the hardest toll on them mentally by far. I know Hyeju will be talking this seriously (there's 12 members to choose from and she's the one, alongside Heejin, who is participating) so Orbits should too.

I'm honestly so tired of Orbits who are only capable of seeing the people they allegedly care about as one dimensional caricatures with no aptitude for personal growth. She's been an idol for almost 5 years now, of course she's changed - and frankly it'd be sad if she hadn't.

[definitelynotdamiano]

Hi! I don't want to re-start the R&l debate but there is a new episode of Apple music with Zane Lowe and Matt Bellamy and they talk about Må dropping r&l (around min 44, if you're interested)

It's so sad to see Zane's opinion on the band in this because he actually said good things about the band before and now he super disagrees with all this and looks kinda disappointed? Also Matt saying that you need to stick to your fans over promotion, yup

If you don't want the start of a new debate in your asks, don't post this. It's totally fine. I get it. I just thought that you might be interested in seeing this

Hi <3

Thanks for telling me about it, it was interesting to listen to their opinions (I posted this part of the episode here).

I loved Zane's interview with them (one of my favourite Må interviews I've seen), he actually knew what he was talking about, and it was about music, and I actually enjoyed it. So yeah, it's sad, but not surprising that he's disappointed.

I think it's interesting what Matt said about their contract, and that this decision (dumb and short-sighted, may I add) maybe wasn't theirs to make. He mentioned 360 deals that some artists are getting and it's what maybe, allegedly, who knows, sonydontcomehere they got. It's not a news that bands/artists who become successful very quickly are often given shit deals and have very little control over anything (yes, even though their manager is their friend), and that could be the case with them too.

As much as I don't like this whole thing, I'm trying to focus just on this: it's a stupid decision in the long run, doesn't matter who made it.

Before anyone comes after me, please remember that I'm just a fan. I know nothing about the decisions that are made, about how much control the band has, about music industry in general. I've just been a fan of some popular artists and saw how shitty their contracts were.

[cin-sarad]

I got the book yesterday afternoon, and finished it 5 am this morning. It was a pretty good/easy read. I had wanted to write down my thoughts about the story when I finished it, but it was 5 am.

**major spoiler alert**

(also English is not my native language but I’ll do my best to be intelligible.)

For a long time I had been reluctant to read any of the new “canon” of Obi-Wan’s padawan years, because I had grew up with the Jedi Apprentice series, which is fundamental to my understanding of Obi-Wan’s character. The arcs with Bandomeer, Melida/Daan, Xanatos/Bruck, and Zan Arbor were pretty much ingrained in my brain. Personally, it is still a little unsettling to read stories that contradict the JA storyline, but I suspect that, with the help of some mental gymnastics, I might manage to meld the old and new stories into a semi-coherent head canon.

While the apprenticeship described by the Padawan is more TCW compliant, there are quite a few things in the book that are consistent with the JA series:

Obi-Wan as a teenager struggled with self-doubt, despite excelling at saber work and a lot of his studies.

A major part of it was due to Qui-Gon’s mannerism as a teacher (more on this later).

And part of it was likely because (allegedly) Master Yoda had been the one to push them together. Obi-Wan was never chosen.

Obi-Wan, even as a teen, was always, always ready to give his life in order to save others (*unhappy Cody and Anakin noises*).

The new characters as Obi-Wan’s fellow padawan (in particular, Bolla) were quite interesting. I was a little disappointed at the lack of Quinlan, but Siri has made it into this story with a less annoying (sorry) personality (I wonder if she is still a Tachi and if Adi is still her master). The author made it sound like they have different initiate friends than padawan friends, which is an intriguing concept (like going to different elementary schools and middle schools).

And I can’t help but find Padawan Kenobi extremely… cute, for the lack of a better word. In the beginning of the story, he was essentially a very polite ball of anxiety. His interactions with Aces (Aces! He nicknamed his droid Aces!) and the younglings on Lenahra were so endearing it melted my heart. His interaction with animals, plants, and the planet gave me warm, fuzzy Ghibli vibes. Obi-Wan’s realization that the core reason for his struggles were that he cared deeply about everyone and everything, and him making a mental list of useful skills to learn once he’s back in the Temple (and evidently he did learn them), made me smile because they were just so in character of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The part that everyone is talking about - the implication that Obi-Wan might be biromantic and asexual, or at least questioning - I don’t find all that surprising. At least in my head canon, Obi-Wan has always been somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum (though I do love a good ship story, and there are A LOT of those in the fandom), and I consider him more of a pan, in the sense that gender matters little to his attractions, than a bi. But it’s nice to have my head canon more or less confirmed. Also Anakin kinda gave him away in RotS.

The book has also done quite a bit of foreshadowing:

Dooku’s statement that Qui-Gon would’ve joined him if he’d been alive, and Obi-Wan’s conviction that no, actually, he wouldn’t, all made more sense now (the author had also wrote it in a way that suggests that Dooku and Obi-Wan were destined to not meet until AotC, which is interesting).

Upon meeting the inhabitants on the mysterious planet, the first thing Obi-Wan said was hello there and the first thing Obi-Wan did afterwards was losing his lightsaber.

It’s quite clear that Obi-Wan already had a propensity for negotiating (even when the opponents were trying to kill him) and inappropriate comments in life/death situations. As well as his future skill in animal bonding and mind influence. Obi-Wan was also already masterful in finding faults in himself and finding ways to self-recriminate (*frowning in Cody*).

The rumination about the Jedi Council (“they were old” lmao), and the disbelief that Obi-Wan could possibly have an apprentice “worse” than him… Oh he had no idea…

Obi-Wan giving himself to the Force instead of trying to use it reminds me of Dooku’s observation of him in the Force in RotS - a vessel of the Force, a window where light shines through. The part where Obi-Wan let go, is also reminiscent of him letting go in the midst of his fight with Vader on Mustafar, allowing the Force to dictate his actions.

Obi-Wan’s decision to dedicate his life to following the Force regardless of his status as a Jedi, his desire to help everyone in the galaxy, and his love of the Jedi, the Temple, and Coruscant… I didn’t know it’s possible for me to feel even sadder about his fate...

(Speaking of which, I was also curious about the ominous financier who had wanted to harvest the Power to use against the Jedi - was he Darth Plagueis?)

Okay. On the topic of Qui-Gon Jinn (apologies in advance for the long rant ahead). I severely disapprove of his attitudes and decisions in the JA series, but I didn’t hate him as a character, because we were made aware the underlying psychological trauma contributing to his flaws. Though it does not exonerate his mistreatment of the one child dependent on and looking up to him, I at least understand him to be emotionally compromised. The Qui-Gonna Jinn in Padawan, however, even though it was later attributed to Obi-wan’s misunderstanding, seemed just inherently (and frustratingly) inscrutable, without any good reasons beyond his personality and teaching style. There were indeed some good moments (and Obi-Wan was apparently secure enough to find him annoying (lmao), unlike the JA Obi-Wan), but there were also points at which I wanted to tell him to please just talk to your kid. I do get the let-the-child-work-out-their-own-issues method and even some of its potential benefits, but at least provide them with the assurance that they will have a place by you even if they do not succeed for the moment? So much of Obi-Wan’s anxiety and insecurity (and the resulting downward spiral that blocked him from the Force in the first place) were simply because he’d felt misplaced due to his perceived failure to connect with his Master - are they really necessary to teach Obi-Wan to trust the Force? After all, the two years of temple-bound meditation administered by Qui-Gon had done Obi-Wan no good, and he would’ve been stuck still if not for this self-imposed rebellious mission. It just seemed like lazy teaching. Also, had he no concern for the kid’s safety? I kept thinking that it was entirely feasible for Qui-Gon to track Obi-Wan to the planet; he’d told him which trial to follow and it would only take a trip to the Archive to find out. It seemed like Qui-Gon trust the Force so much that if Obi-Wan ended up dead, it would be the Will of the Force and therefore fine with him. And to think that, when faced with certain death, the two thoughts on Obi-Wan’s mind were 1) hoping his last act would help his friends, and 2) hoping Qui-Gon wouldn’t feel guilty about his death after he’d found out… I guess Qui-Gon did canonically enter a nine-year-old Anakin in pod race, so there is no way around his disregard for the safety of his charges. I don’t know if I like this version of Qui-Gon any better than the one from the JA series.

And a (major) part of it was because I severely dislike tardy people.

On the bright side, I like this version of Dex and Obi-Wan first meeting much more - a friend from a shared adventure and not just a friend of his master’s. I don’t remember if Dex’s former occupation as a weapon dealer was canon, so I was a little confused by him identifying as a miner in the book (though he was responsible for handling the mining bombs). I hope to read more of Obi-Wan’s adventures involving Dex because I really enjoyed his character.

The part of the story where Obi-Wan reflected on the power the Jedi were given, which necessitated the structure and rules they were bound by, I thought was really good. I know many people dislike the Jedi for their rigidity, specifically the no attachment rule, but there were practical and historical reasons for their implementations, namely to make sure the Jedi use responsibly the power they were given instead of wielding their privileges freely. No attachment simply means no attachment above duty, it does not equate forbiddance of love and compassion. And if one chooses something else over duty, they are free to leave and welcome to visit, just as what Qui-Gon had said about Dooku (which is another part of the story I really liked). It’s only when someone (*ahem*) secretly keeps a marriage vow on top of the Jedi vow that it becomes a problem. The downfall of the Jedi, in my humble opinion, had much more to do with its ties to a corrupt senate, than any one of its restrictions.

Overall, I liked the book. It’s well-paced and insightful in places. I think the most prominent and lasting impression I will have of the story is OBI-WAN INTERACTING WITH DROIDS AND YOUNGLINGS AND ANIMALS AND PLANTS AND A WHOLE PLANET OMG HE SO CUTE!!!

(sorry life is just really stressful rn.)

[musclesandhammering]

Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

[tomatograter]

Do you think Dirk saying that he doesn't like to label himself as gay means he has internalized homophobia? Or does he really just don't like to put labels on himself? I've seen ppl saying it's homophobia but there's ppl in real life that don't feel comfortable with labels so I'm a bit confused honestly, cus we are talking about Dirk and he's... Dirk after all

Easy answer: Dirk is Gay.

Prolonged answer: I think it's kinda weird how some fandom discussion around "Dirk dodging the label in One pesterlog" has largely spiraled way outside of its original context to be talked about in a vacuum, especially when that context is crucial to understanding what is actually being said, AKA — it belongs to a deeply awkward conversation between Dirk and Roxy. One of Many they are implied to have had about the subject of Roxy's sustained, unwelcome, and oft drunken advances towards Dirk (& his splinters).

I'm going to reproduce it plus another bit of text down below, for the sake of comparison.

(To prevent the trickster text from looking like absolute shit, I have altered the background. Read the original here, if you're nasty: https://www.homestuck.com/story/5754 )

Now that we've been reacquainted with how and where that sentiment is expressed, let's try to break down what Dirk is doing here.

He is not receptive to Roxy's early advances, and spends most of the 'intro' for this conversation (not pictured) ignoring when Roxy flirts with him, until she gets upset at how 'boring' he is being right now.

Dirk is the one compelled to apologize.

He proceeds to shut the scenario down as an unwanted probability, eliciting further guilt-babbling from Roxy over how Dirk never wants to play along with the perfect traditional family fantasy, until she finally blows up and says it's because he's gay.

"I mean, yeah, that's what I thought."

Dirk, rather than saying I Am Not Gay, since he looooooves changing a conversational subject, claims that "Gay" is not entirely historically appropriate for this situation, given the non-negligible passage of time and the wildly dystopic circumstances* they find themselves in.

Dirk reassures Roxy he does still care about her.

Dirk is absolutely terrified of a similarly inclined (and intoxicated) Roxy up close. This is the most exclamations he's ever used.

Now, *These circumstances? The loss of 99% of the human race, including their society, customs, culture, and prejudices. (ALLEGEDLY.) It's important to remember that from Dirk and Roxy's side of the timetable, troll culture has been pushed as "the norm" for actual fucking centuries. HIC tried to recreate the caste system by artificially coloring human blood, leading to the death of billions. Faygo came out of the water tap, not water. Troll slang was incorporated into the English language. Humans ceased to organically reproduce. They were actively Discouraged from reproducing, since that's not something HIC could have total genetic control over; rendering traditional marriage and the concept of the nuclear family pointless.

You could also argue that same-gender relationships are not uncommon in Alternia, making "gay" altogether unnecessary by proxy, and that's true! But my point is this one: any union (or at least our society's holy concept of it) between straightie humans would be by definition undesirable under HIC's rule, too. She is the church, the president and the governing body. The population is only as good as they are assets for her to do whatever she wants with, including mass murder.

But wait! While that tracks… Roxy clearly still holds onto very 'conservative' definitions of romance for most of Homestuck. We see this multiple times. Dirk, as proved in conversations with Jake, uses 'gay' as an ironic pejorative. Suddenly it's not Historically Inaccurate anymore, Jake's interests are just gay.

Does this mean the context above is basically worthless, since they don't seem to have internalized it? No.

What must be kept in mind is this: Dirk and Roxy's only "active" link to de facto humanity is our society as it was in the early 2010's. Those glimpses they get by talking with jane and jake. They have all that dystopic context, yes, but the reality that seems the most "unfucked" to them for a grand majority of their lives are the halcyon years before the Condesce's rise to power: back when weed was illegal, BlogSpot was popular, movies sucked, MTV was still a hip channel, and gay generally meant something real bad. The wave of homophobia as a punchline or fear mongering tactic was at THE HEIGHTS. Marriage equality was a hot debate topic. Those were the dayz.

Dirk is keenly aware of the taboo implication the word "Gay" as a self-denomination carries. He's no dummy. But he's rarely direct with his intentions either. He's slippery as a bar of soap. (He's never "straight about his feelings", if you prefer.) And for a guy that cares so much about his reputation and maintaining a curated sense of utter coolness, he wants to avoid outing himself as any sort of weirdo no matter the cost.

But that's not all. I think the gravity of just how much Dirk believes he *owes* Roxy simply for existing as the last human in the same timeframe as her is a severely underplayed aspect of Dirk's core character, together with how much he tries to avoid her sexual advances only to end up feeling like absolute shit over it, because — if they truly are the last people on god's blighted earth, isn't he being "selfish" and "irrational" about not feeling shit for Roxy, in the grand scale of things? Is Roxy not his only friend in tangible reality, even if he avoids the mere suggestion of visiting her? Even if she gets black-out drunk and tries to push him into indulging her, regardless of how many times he's already said no?

(Spend enough time here and you realize how it directly mirrors the jane/jake experience.)

Dirk cares a lot about each and every one of his friends.

He pointedly adapts his speech based on whichever one of them he's talking to in an effort to express that investment. May it be reassuring Jane, fooling around with Jake, or trying to prevent Roxy from falling into a total catatonic doom-spiral; he avoids telling them anything that would be too crushing to hear. That's not what he's trying to do here. Not to say that he isn't bitchy sometimes, but that’s far from the central thing he does. The Epilogues have retroactively led people to believe that Dirk abhors and despises every single person he's ever been close to before (god forbid) LIKING them, and I think buying too much into that assumption ignores the foundations of his canon text, as well as the central motivation behind 99% of his actions in the story. This is the guy that grew up on Friendship Is Magic, has a picture of rainbow dash shamefully glued to one wall and a rainbow poster of Jake's symbol stapled to another, and everything he does is a little cringe attempt to demonstrate his worth by showing how much he cares about people, even when he's punching his actual feelings down instead of up and saying them.

Which brings us back to the load-bearing part of this question: Admitting to Roxy that there is absolutely no fucking way he will ever agree to having her babbys because he is gay is precisely the opposite of what Dirk wants to say, if his intention isn't pulverizing her. So he doesn't. And his worry on this regard is such that it prevents Dirk from even telling Roxy that he does love her, in the platonic sense, as a friend and hell-earth survivor, because he knows that specificity is what that would disappoint her greatly. (He only ever confesses this to Jane, on the death slabs.)

But also I think this is a really funny visual of Dirk's relationship with the word gay, to put statements into perspective:

[smolbeandrabbles]

Grace, Too - Director Orson Krennic x Reader (Rogue One)

🎉🎉 !!Fic Number 200!! 🎉🎉

Hollllly crap we made it. We MADE it. And as he was fic number 100, 200 had to be Krennic. HAD to be.

@wltz-bby​ @mandy23b​ @happyskywhale​ @missunsympathetic​

Author’s Note:  Good god. Oh... This SONG has a lot to answer for. 

So, I was introduced to these ‘Courtly Love’ ideas, and I thought they sounded like a lot of fun, so I have a few requests based around these based on conversations. This was the first one I attempted and uh, yeah we ended up with this glorious wordcount.

Also, for my dear requestor and also dear friend @sagitariusrising​ Happy (Belated) Birthday! 😘💜💙 I hope this fic is everything you wanted!

Grace, Too - The Tragically Hip

Disclaimer: Premise/Idea not mine - although I did make some executive decision changes that I hope you still like / Rogue One characters not mine / some small Catalyst references.

Prompt: “A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved”

Premise: Orson Krennic has himself an obsession. You remind him too much of someone he once knew. Orson Krennic is dangerous. This much you know, but you are not about to heed your own warnings....

Words: 17,100

Warnings: Swearing / Possessiveness/Obsession/Yearning / Smut - like Sinday/Sunday smut. 

_____

He said, I'm fabulously rich C'mon, just let's go She kinda bit her lip Geez, I don't know I come from downtown Born ready for you Armed with will and determination And grace, too The secret rules of engagement Are hard to endorse When the appearance of conflict Meets the appearance of force But I can guarantee  There'll be no knock on the door I'm total pro here That's what I'm here for I come from downtown Born ready for you Armed with skill and its frustration And grace, too

---

He had to admit Eadu was not his favourite planet in the galaxy. Susceptible to many a storm, Krennic had never known it not to be pouring whenever he arrived. He probably wouldn’t even have thought about travelling over at all, were his old friend Galen Erso not stationed there. True, it was an integral facility to the Death Star, but Krennic didn’t need to be here to survey operations, just receive the odd mail or two with updates. Krennic would much rather be at the heart of the weapon his was engineering; it was his project and his baby. But, he wouldn’t miss the opportunity to see Galen, and this was fairly important. He grimaced as he looked out at the rain again, hopefully this wouldn’t take too long either… *** You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to the constant rainy patterns of weather here. No-one had ever really given you the uniform for it – having said that, how often did you really spend outside these days? A lot of your time was spent in labs pouring over facts and figures and complicated algorithms. You spent almost as much time in the labs as Galen did, which was certainly personal choice rather than because you were forced into long hours. You had two specialities: lasers and gem stones; you’d heard about the development of synthetic Kyber crystals and Galen’s work before, but you’d never beheld a real one until coming here. With the amount of effort you were putting in, you were starting to become a technical expert. (Also a little disappointed to say the least when you found out that synthetic Kyber hadn’t really worked as expected.) Still, when you and Galen weren’t working on your pet energy project – allegedly what this had been for in the first place, until the real reason for Kyber research came to the fore – you were working on the Death Star. Which was some glorified super laser, that needed Kyber to work and… well, precision focus, as any good laser should have. Kyber wasn’t only going to be used as a power source, but also to make sure that this laser had range and trajectory… and didn’t waver off that. Besides, looking at the design, although it would collectively become one laser, it started at multiple points across the span of the dish. If just one of those was wrong, would the laser even fire at all? So standing outside on the landing platform, having been summoned out here because apparently the Director of the whole project would be arriving, in the cold and wet was not your ideal start to the day. Especially as you’d been standing here for what felt like close to an hour. Where the heck was this guy? You’d heard a lot about Orson Krennic before now; not all of it was great, some of it was hearsay, but there was a lot of information you found interesting to say the least. He’d been working on this project (with or without Galen) for most of his adult life, so it didn’t surprise you that he’d be coming all the way out here for an update. You had only ever had the pleasure of being copied on emails to Krennic and the way he responded sometimes was downright scary. You were glad you’d never had to give him bad news… but with your project being what it was, it wouldn’t be long before you did have to face the wrath of his block capitals. Finally the sound of a cruiser cut through the air, by the distinctive sound it was a Delta-class T-3c. Yeah, you had a slight passion for ships too. You all stood to attention on the platform, fighting off the shivers from the wind chill, squinting for visibility through the sheet rain and trying not to get blown over either. When the door to the shuttle opened Galen stepped forward, to welcome your visitor. He was possibly around Galen’s age, and held a confidence and self-importance about him as he strode forward down the ramp. But he had grace, too. You were almost taken aback by the way Krennic smiled as he shook Galen’s hand firmly, conversation fairly urgent. You couldn’t even lip read them from here, but body language was easy to interpret and it didn’t take long for Krennic to have your boss on the back foot. But it wasn’t panic, only surprise. Galen beckoned the Director towards the facility but Krennic shook his head. This visit was clearly only to be brief; you weren’t about to have your first interaction with him after all; he wasn’t about to view your work, inspect it closely and criticize it. Maybe you were glad of that. The conversation wasn’t as fleeting as you thought, a lot of back and forth that had the rest of you shooting each other looks and wondering how much longer you had to stand to attention in the freezing weather. Eventually Galen gestured to all of you – you supposed he was saying ‘if you can’t come in, or stay very long, at least meet my team.’ Krennic seemed to consider this for a time, his eyes sweeping the line and freezing on you. Your breath caught for a moment – maybe it was just your imagination, but his gaze was certainly lingering on you, and those bright blue eyes of his were nothing short of captivating. You didn’t think you’d seen a blue like it anywhere in the galaxy. It felt like hours but it could only have been seconds before he turned back to Galen, they exchanged a few words briefly once more before Galen nodded and they shook hands again. Oh, he really was just going to leave? The Director walked brisky back towards his shuttle before turning and calling back something else that he’d clearly forgotten. Galen yelled something in response and Krennic half smiled, before his eyes flicked over Galen’s shoulder and returned to you. Yes. You were right, he was certainly focused on you. There was a rumble of thunder overhead and the lightning cracked across the sky. You had never minded the lightning; you found the colours and patterns fascinating. But those blue eyes were immediately illumined by the bright white flashes and you found yourself swallowing hard, you couldn’t place the look on his face but you weren’t sure it was so appropriate. That image was sure to haunt you. Krennic turned back, slower this time, and you found that you’d been holding your breath for quite some time.

Suddenly you didn’t think that you would mind receiving an email in block capitals from him at all. *** Galen was probably the least subtle he could possibly be when he was trying to be subtle. He’d been tiptoeing around something with you for a couple of days and it really was starting to annoy you. You slammed your stylus down on the table with a frustrated sigh and turned to him. “Galen, please, whatever it is… just tell me. You’re making me nervous!” He blinked a few times, taken aback by your tone – as if he hadn’t been making it very obvious. “I- I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.” You laughed, “Now I certainly will! What’s going on?” “…It’s not my idea, but it is my decision.” “What is?” You suddenly became scared yourself, “Are you firing me-!?” Galen’s eyes widened and he held his hands up, “What? NO, no… quite the opposite. I am…” He paused and thought to rephrase his question, “They need a crystallographer on the Death Star. A good one. Someone who can keep up with the team here. One who knows what she’s talking about.” You blinked a few times, before you understood, “You’re… sending me to the Death Star?” “Yes. B- but only if you want to go!” Wouldn’t that place you directly under Krennic’s authority? Why was it suddenly an exciting prospect? “I would be honoured. This is- your decision?” “They asked me for recommendations and there was only ever one choice.” That had you beaming, “Thank you for the opportunity, Galen.” “Well, I know you won’t let the facility down. And you’re always welcome back.” You chewed your lip thoughtfully for a second, and couldn’t help but ask: “What is he really like?” “Who?” “The Director.” Galen didn’t really answer the question, although a smile twitched on his face, “We met in the Futures Program. I’ve known him a very long time… I can’t say he’s ever changed.” “So he’s an adult teenage boy?” Maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but Galen laughed. “Well, he has qualities that you’d be forgiven for thinking he was one.” “Huh.” You nodded, “I’ll keep that in mind.” “But he is brilliant, of that there is no doubt. The Death Star project may have been going a long time, but I doubt anyone else could have completed it the way he has. Sharp. Intelligent. You’ll like him, I think.” You wondered if you already did. “Well, we’ll see if I’m begging to come back any time soon-!” He chuckled gently, “Well, I certainly hope not.” It didn’t take you very long to pack up, you were practically living out of boxes as it was. And you weren’t sure if you were nervous about having to move or not. You supposed you were in two minds; you’d actually get to see and be on the Death Star while you worked – sure the plans were one thing but, once you got a feel for the actual structure, maybe you could even be a little more experimental… The advantage of being on Eadu was you could hide away in a lab and make the 10,000 mistakes to get to the one (usually accidental) breakthrough. You were the only one judging yourself here, it was quiet; out there, and under Krennic, all eyes would be on what you were doing. You’d maybe be given the leeway of 2 or 3 mistakes but none more than that. And everything would be urgent. Needed yesterday! It was a good thing that you could work under pressure. Leaving was hard, and as you hugged Galen goodbye you couldn’t help but feel a pain in your heart: “I wish it didn’t mean leaving.” “You deserve it.” “Maybe. I hope I get to come back, eventually.” “We’ll certainly welcome you with open arms!” “Take care of yourself, Galen.” “And you – if he gives you any trouble, come straight to me.” You nearly grimaced, “Noted, but I really hope it doesn’t come to that!” *** The cruiser that picked you up wasn’t his, and you were glad the journey wasn’t as long as you expected, so you didn’t have too much time to overthink what was happening to you. In fact as the Death Star loomed into view your mouth was agape – you weren’t sure you expected the sheer size of it: easy to look at some numbers on a datapad but, when it was in front of you, you thought you might have bitten off a little more than you could chew. You were equally pleased and disappointed that Krennic was neither there to pick you up or greet you on the station – mostly because you didn’t seem to be able to find any appropriate words to say. The bustle of engineers, technicians and general command staff told you you were a million miles from your lab on Eadu, and you found yourself unable to communicate in anything other than one word awe filled sentences. Thankfully the Officer who greeted you seemed to understand, and as she walked you to your lab (everyone was obviously eager for you to start!) she chuckled warmly, “Don’t worry, I was exactly the same when I arrived here. It’s a lot. You’ll get used to it – and from what I understand you’ll be a very welcome addition to our team.” “Thanks,” You swallowed hard, “yes, I understand there’s an expectation on me here.” “Well, the Director only wants the best of the best.” She keyed you into the lab and then handed you your pass, “If you’re here it’s because you are the best. And he wants you.” You tried hard not to think about that in any way other than for your work, but it was hard. Ever since that look he’d given you as he left, those vivid blue eyes filled your dreams – including those that you’d rather Krennic kept out of. As she continued talking, she snapped you back to reality: “Anyway, I will leave you to get settled in here, all your things will be sent to your quarters. I’ll have someone sent up with all the details and your datapad.” She grinned at the door before she turned to head out, “Welcome to the Death Star!” *** You spent your time unpacking all your laboratory kit - some of this work you’d only trust to go right with your own gear that much was certain - before you started examining the lab closely. Everything was, as expected, state of the art, they had every machine it was possible to get in order to aid you on your quest to get these vectors just right. If the work wasn’t quite so serious this was almost a wonderland for you. As you continued to stare around the lab, making mental notes of exactly which you would need and would be the most useful for your work, the lab doors slid open again to another visitor. You turned to explain yourself away as the new girl but immediately froze. Standing opposite you, also seemingly glued to the spot and an unreadable look on his face, was none other than Director Krennic. You weren’t sure you expected to see him so soon, and you were still thoroughly unprepared for it. He recovered better than you. “I was told my new hire had arrived. You-” He paused for a minute, head tipped, before a small smile appeared on his face, “You’re from the Eadu facility!” After all, Krennic hadn’t asked only Galen for help in recruiting – you just had the best credentials. But he certainly recognised you from that platform. “Yes, Sir, Galen sent me – he said you were looking for a good crystallographer.” “Yes. And you’re here, welcome. It’s good to finally meet you in person.” “The honour is mine, Director, I look forward to working with you.” You swallowed hard, “Believe me, it is me that is honoured… uhm?” “Oh, Y/N, Sir.” Then you blushed forgetting yourself, “Ah! Officer L/N!” That smile became a gentle smirk, “Would it be so awful for me to refer to you by your first name?” “…I’m sorry, I… It’s how we do things on Eadu, I… realise that I am not there anymore Sir, forgive me.” You could feel yourself getting hotter. “You need not be forgiven, Y/N. I’m happy to do things your way.” Krennic placed a datapad on the table in front of him, “It’s all set up correctly, I made sure of that myself. I have to make sure my researcher is well equipped on the first day of her job, after all.” On top of it he lay another access card, “You’ll need that for your room, your ID will allow you access to almost as many files as me, I figured you’ll need them.” Krennic’s blue eyes fell back on you, “Anything you can’t access you come directly to me, and anything else you need, the same. I will make sure it reaches you promptly.” “Yes, Sir.” You nodded through his explanation, “Thank you.” Krennic nodded back, looking around the room, “Tell me, how do you like the lab?” “It’s certainly state of the art. There’s probably not another one like it across the galaxy. There’s a lot I would like to explore with these devices once I’m finished with my work for the Battle Station. Time permitting.” Krennic shrugged, “Do what you will with the time that you have free. I expect you’ll work hard.” “Yes, Sir.” “Good.” He winked stepping back from you, “I will leave you to get settled, and may I welcome you to the Death Star! I’m very excited to see what you can do for us!” And by that smirk on his face, yes, you could bet… Krennic hurried back to his office cursing himself. Yes, he wanted the best – and he had absolutely no doubt that he would get it with you. He’d read every CV in great detail; obviously he’d paid more attention to those from Galen, considering the weaponry was coming from that lab, but Galen had neglected to mention that you were with him on Eadu in his note for you. You were Galen’s first choice, and Orson Krennic was not about to go against his friend’s advice. It was just your look. Not just physically, but that look on your face – he couldn’t shake it.  Now he could bet that your personality would be similar just to curse him… He didn’t fall in love often, not hard. Orson could fall in and out of ‘love’ with people very quickly – always liked to keep a string of bed mates, if he didn’t fall in love, and didn’t necessarily care, then he wouldn’t get hurt. And he hardly needed to put in much effort, a little bit of flirting and an expensive drink was all he usually needed. Besides, now Krennic had this rank bar and a reputation, so he probably needed even less: sometimes people were trying to pick him up – he couldn’t say he wasn’t flattered. On the occasions he did though – it usually had the proficiency to mess him up. You reminded him very much of a girl he’d known in the Futures Program – back when he was young and reckless. Okay, Krennic could back track on that sentence, young. That, first love, fast heartbeat, can’t stop staring, ‘only thing in the world that matters’ kind of feeling. The kind of love that at that age would make him naïvely think it’d be forever – where their ambitions would meld together and everything would just work out. Even if they had no idea how. Krennic would stand by it as a real love, a feeling he had chased since he lost her. He’d fallen that hard again since – sure – but never in the same way. Orson didn’t think you could ever get a ‘first love’ feeling back. And he certainly didn’t want to ever feel like he did when it ended again. But you, and your face, and your body, and that look you gave him – all Krennic could see in you was her. Turning to his datapad for a second he had half a mind to see who your parents were, then stopped short of himself. ‘Don’t be stupid, Orson, she’s too old for that!’ – even if marginally. It made him curious about you though, what if your personality was the same? What if all of these factors culminated in him… feeling like that about you. He almost cursed at himself. ‘Don’t be stupid, she works for you, and you’ll shake it. It’s just the shock, it’s two or three glimpses of her face – you’ll be able to pick out all the differences in no time. Then you won’t think about what you loved and lost… or yearn for it back.’ Krennic scoffed at the very idea of him yearning, but brought you up on his datapad anyway. A smirk started to spread its way across his face as he lingered on your photograph. Well, he certainly wasn’t averse to one of you getting messed up in the process of this partnership…

***

 Krennic was right, one of you was going to get messed up by this; and it seemed more obvious now that person was going to be him. He wanted your personality to be different to hers, then he could form some distinction - and for the most part you had differences, you were your own woman. The problem was Krennic let himself get obsessed over the similarities, those small details that wouldn’t have mattered to anyone else. And if he was honest those parts of you that were nothing like her just messed him up even more, because he liked those too. He liked you for you. It worried him.

You busied yourself with your work and tried to keep out of everyone’s way. You very much hoped it might be ‘out of sight out of mind’; but knew with the importance of the project you wouldn’t have that luxury. That had you experimenting until the early hours of the morning sometimes - and you always sent Krennic an update email last thing before you went to bed. Just so he never had to come looking himself: you’d heard all about him, but now you were here you’d witnessed it yourself. And Krennic screaming at people in corridors was not something you were that ready for. You did not want that wrath coming down on you, so you tried to keep one step ahead of the man that knew this station inside and out. What amazed you was, as you placed your datapad down for the evening and settled into your sheets, more often than not you’d receive a ‘ping’ to let you know of incoming mail. You’d ignored it for a while but - being too curious - investigated, only to find Krennic had sent you a thank you note. ‘What the heck is he still up working for!?’ Well, this became a regular occurrence, and tonight was no different - only now you waited to see if he’d reply and you smiled as it came in. ‘Why can’t everyone do this?  Do you know how well this Station would run!? Thank you. As ever. - K.’ You hovered over the reply button, as you had nearly all week. Every single time the knot in your stomach made you panic and you bailed out. Not tonight. ‘You are welcome, Director. Just doing my job. It’s getting late, you should probably get some rest.’ As he had, you signed off with your initial. It took him all of 5 seconds to reply, ‘I could say the same.  Goodnight, Y/N. – K.’ ‘Goodnight, Director. Sleep well.’ You grimaced as the message flew off to the other side of the Death Star, was that a step too far? Oh well. Couldn’t take it back now!

Eventually your reports got shorter, not for lack of trying, but progress was slow. And you always tried to make ‘nothing really happened today’ last for as many pages as possible. But you realised quickly that Director Krennic was smart enough to read between the lines; he never asked for more than you gave him, but as he started asking you for progress updates, rather than waiting until you sent them, you knew he wasn’t far off the point where you might start receiving those dreaded block capital emails.

It wasn’t like what you’d done up until now wasn’t hard; it was. It was just now you were at a snagging point and you really didn’t want to have to redo what you’d already done to get past it. It also wasn’t something you could easily bypass. And you couldn’t ignore it. If you got this wrong that laser didn’t work - and it’d all come back on you. This calculation was going to take time you didn’t have - NOBODY had - and the pressure was starting to get you frustrated.

You didn’t actually receive a block capital email, but an impromptu visit to your lab. And the colour must have immediately drained from your face - to counteract the way your heart decided to beat like a kick drum - because Krennic raised his hands in almost apology. “Thought it might be quicker to ask you rather than you to write up a report.” “Well you already know it’s not going well.” “I know woolly language when I see it. You don’t need to use filler with me. If you’re stuck just say so.” “Forgive me, Sir, but I don’t exactly want to get yelled at, and there’s a lot at stake here.” You cursed yourself internally for being so comfortable with talking to him like this. But decided that it might be best to speak your mind. “Why would I yell at you?” You gave him a pointed look that Krennic understood, but he didn’t think you quite understood the question. Why would he yell at you? Instead he cleared his throat, “I understand… Why don’t you, walk me through it?” “Can you help?” It wasn’t meant to come out so disbelieving, and you thought you’d put your foot in it about 10 times during this conversation already - but Krennic just shrugged. “I’ll see if I can assist. Maybe I’ll have a perspective you’re not thinking of.” You took a breath, “Okay...” “Okay.” He gave a firm nod, and sat at one of the lab tables, “What exactly are you trying to achieve that you cannot?” You took a deep breath, “Think of holding a laser pointer,” you collected one, and as a demonstration you pointed it at the blank wall and clicked it on; “Even with a steady hand, or two hands, there’s movement.” The dot wasn’t wiggling much but Krennic nodded along, “Well, this station is just a massive destructive laser pointer, with 8 different lasers all coming together… so in fact there’s 9 laser pointers in total. Even a millimetre out can be the difference between this laser working, or catching on something we don’t want it to and blowing up Imperial Forces, or - god forbid - the entire station…!” You walked over to a little holder you’d rigged up, placing the pen upon it and stepping back: “Crudely speaking when focusing a laser through Kyber it should keep the laser's trajectory steady with pinpoint accuracy, whilst also maintaining the power and range of the laser. It’s a multipoint system, if even one of those points is off, the whole thing fails. And what better to take the power of a laser created by Kyber than…” “Kyber.” You smiled enthusiastically, “Exactly!” Krennic looked back at the dot on the wall, “So what’s your snag?” You turned the datapad to face him, “This.” He raised an eyebrow immediately, “That’s… a lot of numbers.” “Yes. And every time I calculate it, it’s an error. And it needs to balance because it’s got to work between-” “Nine lasers.” You said in unison. “Correct.” You smiled, liking that he was getting it. “I don’t expect Kyber not to be able to take the force, it’s the making sure we’re hitting it all just right. To check how much the crystals might refract the energy. To make sure there’s not a power surge… I just can’t get the power balance right to get the trajectory… not to do something ridiculously wild.” “Or make the whole station virtually useless.” “Yes. And the thing is that the number is nearly always the same. You know, like… I’m point-5 out, and yet I can’t figure out where that is coming from. Freakin’ crystals, and Kyber is notoriously the worst!” You placed your hands on your hips, “I’ll get it. I just need time.” He nodded, “You have time believe me.” Krennic stood, “I believe I should leave you to it.” “But the completion of the-” “Let me worry about that. You worry about getting my vectors right. You have time.” That he could promise you. Krennic didn’t want you to panic, he thought that would throw this project into even more disarray. He needed you with a level head and at your best mindset. He thought he knew how to do just that. You flushed, “Thank you, Director.” “Don’t mention it, Y/N.” He paused as he got to the door, turning back to you those blue eyes caught yours and you nearly jumped at the dark flicker across them. “I look forward to reading your report, tonight.” The way his voice lowered like that, how that smooth tone he usually kept laced with a growl had you struggling to breathe as he left, and you had to undo your uniform and catch your breath. ‘Geez, what was that!?’ Did you have a thing for your senior commander? A real thing!? Sure those damn eyes were always haunting your dreams, and he was nearly always your daily closing thought (but he put himself there, didn’t he!) but… this was more than that, this was a physical reaction - and you were sure he was eliciting an emotional one from you, too. “God dammit, Y/N,” you breathed, looking back to the door and wishing he’d come walking back through it, “could you have a worse idea-!?” *** He had to be honest he wasn’t sure why he had no semblance of control around you; it should have been easy to control. Krennic spent his life trying to control his emotions… okay, maybe not very well but he did. You had him smiling all over the place. He far outstayed his welcome in the lab whenever he found reason to go down there; and Krennic certainly found plenty of reason. Usually if he visited anyone at their work station he was either none too pleased with them, or he wanted their report - and quickly! - before he swept himself off to another meeting or urgent matter around the station. He liked the sound of your voice explaining things to him; and how every question he asked was met with not just an answer, but a good answer. Instead of a string of ‘I don’t know, sir’s. Nothing Krennic asked of you ever seemed like trouble either; then again he supposed you wouldn’t really want to refuse the Director of the Death Star what he wanted. It was obvious you wanted to remain here, and you were trying to do your very best to figure out all these algorithms alone.

Krennic sent you an assistant and even got you on calls with people in similar fields. The assistant stayed with you a little, until it got a little too complicated even for them and you dismissed them with thanks - you’d got a step closer, that’s all you could ask for. Eventually though, you had to reach out to Galen - and Krennic wanted to sit in on these calls. You wondered if it was because he thought the two of you would spend the majority of it dragging him - you rather thought you might be giving him a string of compliments with half the chance to do so. And the three of you started to break your work down to basics. Krennic’s new perspective aided more than you really wanted to admit to him, but he had this attitude that made you think he wanted to be useful here - and it made you more than a little suspicious. Maybe he really was spying on you both…

Krennic wasn’t sure if he wasn’t forcing the relationship to grow beyond appropriate parameters, all discussions did still revolve around work after all, but was happy that you were forthcoming. Spending more time with you meant he could analyse you more - and whilst you still very much reminded him of his ex-lover, you were becoming your own person. The person who filled his thoughts. You were almost his every waking moment. When in your lab together, even when Krennic was listening to every word, he was watching your body - the way you moved was fluid as you eagerly explained something and demonstrated. But meticulous and calculating when you were working on a screen - absolutely none of your energy was wasted that could have been used to think on the problem. And yet even every small movement you made was significant. Usually to cross through or correct a calculation. Change your vector arrows around a little. Krennic liked watching you do this too, because when it was all correct you gave this small satisfied smile, and even though it was to yourself, it was very endearing - it was one thing he always looked forward to seeing.

Tonight, as ever, Krennic was agonising over waiting for your report. No matter how exhausted he might be when he finally retired to his quarters for the evening, he always knew your end of day email would come through and Krennic forced himself to stay awake for it. Mostly so he could read too much into the string of ‘flirty’ emails that followed it, but he couldn’t have been the only one who read that energy. After all, sometimes he gratuitously flirted back, and you still kept responding. As soon as he heard that ping he rushed across the room to read it. You reporting was always concise even though you managed not to leave a single detail out - and now he knew more about your work, it was easier to understand and for him to scan through. Krennic would be more thorough tomorrow. ‘Thorough as ever, Ms. L/N. – K.’ ‘I like to make sure you don’t need to ask questions.’ ‘Where’s the fun in that? – K.’ ‘It helps me sleep better.’ ‘Me not ask questions about your reporting? – K.’ ‘Goodnight Director. Please get some sleep!’ He remembered the first time that he’d read that goodnight from you, how he’d stared at those words for a long time - heart stilled. It didn’t help him sleep at all, far from it. In fact nothing about you seemed to help anything - except Krennic thinking on you.

You were impressive - dare he say that you had more skill in your particular area than maybe even Galen did. That, added to the weight of his constant Futures Program reminder, kept you at the forefront of his mind constantly. Krennic found it very hard to concentrate on his own work; and his thoughts wandered, particularly in meetings he found to be less than stimulating. He’d poured over your CV and your previous published research time and again. Read all your imperial records and anything Intelligence could get hold of on you. Krennic knew almost everything there was to know, and yet he wanted to hear it all from you. And you seemed less than forthcoming with information that was personal. That almost worried him - maybe you weren’t looking for anything other than a professional relationship with him. Krennic wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to keep it that way; eventually he’d have to make some kind of move - he couldn’t let you go without you knowing. He wasn’t about to let you be the (other) one that got away. Not both of you. Time ticked on this evening, and he lay in his sheets wide awake. Work was making him drowsy; and he’d been up and down trying to work himself to sleep, but every time he put his datapad down and switched off the lights he was alert again. Krennic glanced at the clock and groaned, watching the minutes race towards his alarm. Unsurprisingly it was thoughts of you that were keeping him awake. Usually you were on his mind at night; you were certainly the last one before he turned the light off, but usually he could drift to sleep perfectly fine. Not tonight. Krennic placed his hands palm down on his stomach, inhaling and exhaling slowly: wasn’t that how you did it? Deep, slow, calming breaths. That evidently made things worse, and his breathing patterns this time brought with them fairly vivid images that occasionally he’d seen in dreams. Certainly none of them were very professional - and all of them were about you. ‘Stars-! Orson, stop it!’ But he couldn’t, and his mind wanted to play tricks on him, trying to make him imagine what it would feel like to touch your bare skin, to hear you moan quietly, the way you might say his name in elation. He growled to himself as heat gathered a little lower than his hands were. He moved them, breaths already short and sharp and not at all where he’d intended to be at… “This is a bad idea.” Orson groaned softly and bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut bringing all those images back; did he really have any better ones? *** It wasn’t a lie to state you were getting closer. At least to the point where Krennic started to make jokes in meetings that were clearly meant for you only. And when you looked up to him unsure if it was appropriate to laugh and he’d almost dare you to, you knew they certainly were. He’d always ask for a score out of 10 in his emails to you now. And it was refreshing for you to find a similar relationship to the one you had with Galen here… well, maybe you shouldn’t have been surprised. They were good friends after all, and there had to be a reason for that. Krennic also made a habit of being wherever you were. And you weren’t sure that was so endearing. You understood why he would want to be around your lab - maybe not as often as he was, but then… perhaps you knew the reason for that too, you just didn’t want to hope on it - but not why he’d turn up in corridors he had no business being in. Or would end up in the cafeteria at the exact moment you walked in. He even ended up in staff briefings he’d specifically asked someone else to take either so he could sit or stand near you. You couldn’t help but find some of this behaviour odd: was Krennic stalking you? Was he looking out for you? Was he protecting you? You couldn’t imagine it was just coincidence - and part of you hoped it wasn’t. You just couldn’t really tell his intentions. That’s what scared you the most.

By now you’d heard the coffee room chat about Krennic - seemed he had a bit of a lady’s man reputation. Pretty smooth at getting you into bed, but would love you and leave you just as fast, and on-to-the-next-one. Were you simply the next one? Because as much as by now you wanted to be, you certainly didn’t want to be one on a list… love you was okay… but leave you? You weren’t the type of woman who would put yourself in that position. For him would you?

It made you a little more cautious around him, and suddenly that made your relationship slip. Because you didn’t know if you should be flirting with him or joking with him as much as you were. This pull back from you didn’t faze Krennic too much, just made him try a little harder. For you it then became obvious what he wanted. And you had to do your damndest to control yourself. You both did.

You were using every ounce of your Imperial training to try to ignore your feelings, to make sure your face stayed level and revealed nothing. You always tried to keep your eyes on his face; instead of the wandering they wanted to do - even when he wasn’t directly talking to you. That didn’t mean that when he was walking away from you, or simply keeping busy in your lab, you weren’t discreetly checking him out. You had to wonder what he looked like out of that uniform, considering he looked so gorgeous in it. You were inexplicably drawn to him, but you weren’t sure if it was his power you were attracted to: the rank bar on that uniform told everyone exactly who was boss and he walked like he owned every corridor in this place. He didn’t even need to exert his influence in meetings, everyone knew he was the most important man in the room. When Krennic had something to say everyone listened, even when he said it quietly. You’d never known someone to command that kind of attention, and considering that reputation you were not the only officer - of any gender - who fawned over him. You were just the best at hiding it. That charisma he exuded really was something to behold; he was just far too confident. Maybe a little conceited in it too, but you were sure you’d be powerless to it. The Director probably had the ability to walk up to you and say “Come to bed with me” and you’d go on that alone, you knew if he was so inclined, he could just say it like that. It was probably in your favour that Krennic liked to be a little more suave. Krennic seemed like one for class and grace. Or was it that you really were attracted to him, that you had some kind of undeniable chemistry. That you would almost count him a friend. That you just liked being in Krennic’s aura and talking to him about work… you’d even started to open up to him about personal stuff, where you’d grown up, your family… how exactly you’d ended up a crystallographer who was working here on laser vectors. And most importantly how much you loved storms, planetary or solar - this seemed like something you had to let him know. Just a silly little fact, perhaps, but to you it really meant something. It was little moments like that, when he laughed at your stories, that you thought this really might be mutual attraction, rather than someone Krennic just wanted to get in bed.

Yet, you had an effect on him also and he tried to hide it as well as you did. You caught it, only because you knew the look of someone trying to contain themselves. You saw it in the mirror or polished surfaces of this battle station all the time. Krennic quite often clenched his jaw around you, he had this habit of staring at you like he was staring through you; and sometimes he would just stare forward if you were next to him. That almost annoyed you, because you wanted to be able to look into those crystal blue orbs just once... But if Krennic was watching you, then it was an altogether different story, and if he ever caught you catching him, that look in his eyes didn’t disappear; it was hungry, and although it stirred something within you that you had to fight even harder to control, it scared you a little too - and in the back of your mind it lit a spark that became a raging fire. And you had to know, would he act on that look too? You made a vow, before you’d finished your work, before you’d left this battle station - you would find out.

Today hadn’t been so bad by all accounts; the test you’d set up you would have to leave overnight, so you got out of the lab on time. Maybe you’d even get an early night tonight. Maybe you’d persuade the Director to one of his own with your report email; you thought he probably needed it. A frown pulled its way across your face as you arrived at your quarters with the door open, and you poked your head around it, gasping to find other officers moving things around, and carrying what appeared to be boxes of your stuff. You hadn’t authorised this! “What’s going on!?!” You blurted, a little angrier than you’d meant, “What are you doing!?” Then you froze for a second; had you read something wrong? You knew something was up with him… but maybe you were supposed to have acted on it by now? Maybe your work was taking too long - was he pissed at you? Did Krennic want you off the station!? You looked to the most senior officer, “Am I being thrown off the project?!” “No.” At least you could breathe then, “We’re simply moving your quarters.” “Moving my quarters?” You couldn’t help but be confused: had you missed that email? It seemed a little too important to just be sprung upon you. “On whose orders!? I haven’t signed off on this!” “Director Krennic’s.” That shut you up almost immediately. ‘Oh well shit, what’s he moving me for!?’ You swallowed hard, not even caring if it was visible. “Well, in that case you better show me where I’m moving to…”

Once you got there - and they assured you that your key card would still work - you realised that you hadn’t just moved to any old room. Krennic had moved you to a commander's quarters, and it was plush to say the least. You had so much more room in here. The bay window stretched at least half the room and you couldn’t help your small smile; ‘he remembered’. Your little stories of staying up huddled in a window frame to watch storms in nearby, or passing, solar systems and planets. You shook your head slowly to yourself and picked up your datapad again, figuring out where exactly you were on the ship - further from the labs, which was a minor inconvenience. It seemed that at least there was an elevator close by that you could use to get to the right floor and then it’d be a straight walk. What interested you though was, looking at the schematic, you appeared to be just two corridors away from Krennic’s own room. That was not coincidence. “Son of a-” suddenly you found yourself laughing. Why? So he could walk past your room every day? So he had you closer? And looking at the rooms around, probably as close as he could get: you were surrounded by his senior command team.

You moved through the room, and started to notice little details that he’d had placed here; books by your favourite authors, or researchers… your favourite music. Maybe you’d told him far too much about yourself. But it was the fact he retained the information that had you impressed. He’d even left you a box, tied with ribbon in your bathroom, and when you pulled at it you found it was filled with very expensive toiletries, that you knew he wouldn’t have been able to come by easily, in all your favourite scents. Nothing is coincidence at all… is it Krennic? Was he trying to woo you - was this all part of a game plan; you could only conclude yes. And by the way your heart was currently beating in your chest, you had to say it was working.

Moving back into the main room and sitting back on the bed with your datapad, ready to send your report for the evening, you’d failed to notice the letter lying on top of your sheets. You pulled your finger across the top of the envelope and unfolded the card carefully: ‘Dear Y/N, Welcome to your new quarters. I believe someone of your talent is worthy of somewhere a little nicer. You will find me just down the hall if you need anything, and please do not hesitate. I hope you enjoy your stay here. And, should there be a storm, that you enjoy the view. Director Orson C. Krennic Head - Imperial Weapons Division’ The card also seemed to be scented, which you had to raise an eyebrow at; ‘who uses scented note cards?! What’s that all about!?’ You put it down to having more money than sense and placed the card on your bedside table, before getting back to what was really important.

As expected, even when it was a little earlier in the evening, Orson Krennic responded to your email almost immediately. ‘Earlier than usual? You really are efficient, Y/N. – K.’ ‘Thought I would get an early night in Director… in my new quarters. You should to.’ - You weren’t meant to imply together, but you also didn’t care if that’s how he read it. ‘Any thoughts? – K.’ ‘They are very nice, thank you. Although in future a little more notification would help!’ ‘Noted. And as you are closer, you can deliver your reports in person now – K.’ You raised an eyebrow, why would that make any sense? ‘When I can send it over email?’ Why... would you? Even when closer the time it’d take you to walk to his quarters, give him the document and walk back, would still be far longer than an email. ‘Consider it. – K.’ ‘I will!’ You weren’t sure you would, but that was what he wanted to hear. And of course you’d play to that whim. ‘Good. Goodnight, Y/N – K.’ ‘Goodnight Orson.’ You stared at the email after you’d sent it and almost screamed. What were you doing-!?! Why were you addressing a senior officer by his first name!? What was he bringing you to? You placed your head in your hands and took a deep breath. ‘Okay, it’s one slip and you can say you were tired and apologise profusely later…’

You threw your tablet on your table too and snuggled back under your new plush sheets. The bed was cozy and soft and suddenly you couldn’t be happier that Krennic had arranged for this. You closed your eyes; it was this time of the evening you liked to try and ground yourself. It was clear that both of you wanted each other to some degree, but you were the one that had to be sure about this and the most careful. You had more to lose here; Krennic had the ability to kick you off the project, not just out of his bed… if you ever got in it. But by now you were pretty sure you would end up in it. It was more a matter of when. He was powerful, you’d covered that. But Krennic was also dangerous, that much was also obvious… dangerous in terrible and delicious ways. So perhaps, as well as everything else, you were drawn to that danger. You wondered suddenly which side of him would show up more when it was just the two of you alone… in conditions more intimate. Would that power completely consume you; did you have any chance at all? You weren’t sure you wanted any at just the opportunity to be pinned under his body. To run your hands over his skin. To answer all the questions you had, and see if all those water cooler rumours were true… (You hoped to God some of them were.)

You were close to drifting off when your eyes suddenly snapped open. Krennic was your favourite pre-sleep thought, and your subconscious tonight brought you a revelation. That note card was not scented. You scrambled around for it and held it close to your face, inhaling. That was what Krennic smelled like - you should know because you’d always thought he smelt pretty good, it was a fairly subtle scent when on his skin - here it was a little stronger, which is why it had taken you so long to pick up on it.

That damn man had sprayed his note to you with his cologne. *** You decided that Krennic knew far too much about you. On the morning after your move you opened your door to head back to the labs, so you could check on the results of your testing, and Krennic was two steps from your door. You were startled by his sudden presence but he offered nothing but a small smile and a casual, “Right on time, Ms. L/N.” “Uh- I- Director.” You wouldn’t exactly say you greeted him as he felt in step with your walk towards the elevator. “How do you think your testing went?” “Well…” You took a deep breath, instantly regretting it as that cologne seemed to surround you completely. Now your senses were looking for it. Your stomach knotted and you felt the immediate urge to press your thighs together and groan. Dammit. “Well?” Krennic pressed, eying you when you didn’t answer. You hoped your face wasn’t flushing even though you felt hot. “It’s a make or break test. I certainly hope it’s worked.” You could hear that strained edge to your voice, you knew for certain Krennic would have picked up on it. As you turned into the elevator you immediately reached for your button, the Director was two steps ahead of you and your hands brushed. You withdrew yours immediately, and knew you must have been red by now. “S-Sorry.” “No, my apologies, I just wanted to help.” You stared at the floor of the elevator for a good few minutes, holding your fingertips in your other hand. Why did it tingle like that? You didn’t actually ever think you’d physically touched him before, had you? Even when you’d been so close previously in the lab. But it’s not even like it was his skin. In fact, for someone with such a reputation, Krennic had very little skin on display at all. Did he ever not wear gloves? Not that you could recall. ‘Stop-! Y/N! You sound so repressed! You’ve seen naked men before.’ Your eyes flicked back to Krennic, staring at the ceiling, and you swallowed hard. Sure, but you hadn’t seen him naked. The rest of the ride was conducted in silence, because you didn’t trust yourself not to blurt out anything you shouldn’t, but as you left Krennic took a step to stop the doors from closing. “What, not even a goodbye?” You paused in the corridor and turned back to him, unable to stop yourself from smiling that he actually wanted that from you. “Goodbye Director, have a good day.” “Not likely, but work permitting. Good day, Y/N.” and as the doors slid closed on him you caught his wink, and could swear he was smirking.

You stood outside your little lab for a long time before you entered. You admitted to yourself you were delaying the inevitable but you needed to. After all, if this was a complete failure then you might as well throw out almost a years’ worth of work. Well, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but at least all the months you’d been up here on the battle station. You’d need a good stiff drink and to cry in bed for a couple of days at the very least. Oh, and you’d probably be fired, reputation in ruins… You keyed yourself in and flicked on the lights. What you had done was rigged up a few small versions of the Death Star and set each of them to different vectors. The pieces of Kyber you were using were tiny, but they would still work in principle with your laser pens.

You stared at the points on the wall in turn. One had disappeared completely, which was all but useless to you. It didn’t mean that the calculation wasn’t steady: it could have just meant that the trajectory was way off. Either way, you could discount that as a failure. And the next one; giving a similar waver to when you’d shown Krennic what ‘steady hands’ really meant. Although minimal, you’d already explained why you couldn’t stand for it. That left the last two. And the results looked fairly similar even though your vectors were different for both. You had to call the result unexpected: perhaps there were two ways to do this. You looked back to your little models and then to the points, waving your hand in front of the lasers. And then you smiled, and that small smile became a grin, became a laugh of triumph. Although both were near perfect, the third one had a far stronger beam of light. There was your power. The second most important part of the project. The station had to do what it was built for when the laser reached its target, after all. “We have a winner.” You whispered to yourself walking back to your table. Now you had to report these findings and scale them up to full size. Working in other contingency factors - after all that laser would not be travelling through clean air in a lab and hitting a solid smooth wall. That would be fun.   Still, you couldn’t wait on his report to tell him the good news. ‘Report spoilers: It works!’ There was a long pause between emails, and you could picture Krennic sitting at his desk, relief flooding him, smug little smirk on his face that this was finally going to get done - the finish line seemed in sight now. You hoped you’d made his day. When the email came back you couldn’t help but read into it a little more than you probably should have, and yet you also thought he wanted you to: ‘This sounds like a cause for celebration... – K.’

You did not in fact bring the report to him by hand, and neither did he ask it of you, but from that day forward you were called into his office daily briefings. And suddenly you got to realise just what your research meant to the people working on this station, because the first day you walked in, expecting to see just him, the room was full of his top engineers and each and every single one of them was applauding you. “Now the real work begins.” Krennic was leaning against his desk, arms folded, with eyes only for you. “Welcome, Y/N, to the team that will build your concept. From physical engineering to coding. I will assist in overseeing you, but the team are now at your disposal. From now, until test day.” Your eyes couldn’t help but light up, even though you knew you should have probably been professional about this. “Thank you, Director.” You beamed, “I look forward to working with all of you. Let's make this vision a reality, for the Empire!”

Suddenly this was better than anything you’d had with Krennic before - you almost had non-stop contact with him, from walking out of your door in the morning, to retiring for the evening. And you were happy to find that he provided both the perfect intellectual and humorous stimulant. You also noted how many crew members now looked at you with nothing but jealousy. Despite the fact nothing had happened between you yet. The way he regarded you was now even more open. Every look that followed every little flirtatious comment or innuendo was extremely pointed. Sometimes his eyes would even darken. It scared you enough to have you shy away from him; but also had you scared at how much you desired him. You just wanted him to touch you, just the smallest taste. To be honest you didn’t care what he did, as long as he did something. Krennic could bend you over his desk in front of your entire engineering team for all you cared anymore.

Speaking of your engineering team, you’d never seen a group of people work harder or more efficiently, and seeing them turn all your data and tiny models into tangible pieces for the Death Star was wonderful. You gasped to see the sheer size of the Kyber they had harvested to give your vectors pinpoint accuracy. “I have never… seen Kyber like that!” And the way Krennic got all smug again, “Only the best for you. Of course.” “You flatter me, Sir.” And that little knowing nod he gave you back. Once everything started to go into place, and you got word that Galen was almost finished with the laser itself (you received many an email from him about how proud he was and so many others from your friends back on Eadu that you almost cried, thanking them again and again for their participation in even the smallest part of your research), that the dish was currently in the process of being assembled outside and you couldn’t believe you were doing this. You couldn’t believe you were about to be a part of history. Your name was going to be right up there. Never even in your wildest dreams... As you could take a little more time over your reports these days, and there was far less for you to really comment on, you did start to present Krennic with physical copies. Usually just before you headed off for the evening you would drop them off on his desk with a small smile, and he would drag them towards him. “Glad to see you are taking my advice.” “Well, as you seemed fairly adamant I did it, I thought I had better start, Director.” “They do make for good bedtime reading.” “I’ll bet…” Only for the last week you’d started spraying them with your perfume, very subtly at first, but steadily the scent became stronger, and oh, he had noticed. When the doors closed behind you this evening he held the report to his nose and inhaled, groaning as heat coursed through his body. Krennic couldn’t take it any longer, he knew exactly what you were doing. Both of you were dancing around it, and now neither of you were being very subtle, either. But this was the final straw - because he wanted this scent all over him. What it would feel like to pin you beneath him, have your body against his as you whined and called his name, what it would feel like to finally be inside you… He’d certainly thought on it in quieter moments of the evening enough… *** Tonight your report was late. Not for no good reason; you had a lot of data to review. Galen kept sending you updated laser figures to get you as close as possible with your final vectors. Oh, you had no doubt that the Kyber could take it. You’d given a wide berth for the perimeters; but still, you wanted to check and triple check. On your head be it if you didn’t and everything went wrong. Still you wanted to stop by Krennic’s office to let him know why it would be late, as you always seemed to bring it to him around this time these days.

Krennic looked up as you walked in, without even knocking, but he hardly cared about that. His eyes narrowed at the lack of papers in your arms. “Where is my report?” Your face scrunched a little, “If you’d let me get a word out Director, I would tell you. I have a lot of data back from Galen that I want to check and double check before I send it over to you. I want to give you as accurate data and results as possible. So it’ll probably be late, or later than it has been these past few weeks.” Krennic tilted his head, eyebrow raised “Late?” He didn’t sound very appreciative. “Only about as ‘late’ as used to be normal.” He rose from his chair, and those blue eyes locked on yours, “Late-late bedtime reading? This from a woman who says I should be going to bed earlier.” “This once!” You protested as he rounded his desk. “You think that’s good enough?” You didn’t understand why he’d be mad at you, and Krennic didn’t sound mad… but the words he was using… “Well I didn’t think you’d mind.” “Oh, believe me, I mind.” “I-” You were about to tell him you were sorry - although really you had nothing to be sorry for - but he didn’t stop beside you. Instead Krennic stood behind you, a little too close for your liking.

You froze immediately as his voice lowered to a whisper, reaching out to brush a lock of hair behind your ear. The scrape of leather against your skin made you shiver, and you only wished it was his fingertips. You bit back your moan. “I am alone in my quarters after 2200 hours, it sounds like I’ll have data to review with you: that’s an order.” You swallowed unsure of the kind of response he wanted, “Yes, Sir.” slipped out of your mouth and he seemed satisfied. “Good girl. I want it on paper, as you’ve been doing recently.” ��Yes, Sir.” “Well then…” He stepped away from you and you realised that you’d barely breathed for the past few minutes, “You best get to it, hadn’t you?” “Yes, Sir.” What was wrong with you!? Was that all you could say!? When you turned around he’d already moved away, crossing the room. “Good. Now go. And don’t make me wait, Y/N.” Krennic glanced over his shoulder at you, blue eyes burning, “As I’m sure you know by now, I am not a patient man.” *** You had to admit the pressure was on now. Because you did really want to present him with a decent report. (Just in case he wasn’t messing with you and he would be pissed if you didn’t turn up at 2200 with the correct figures.) And you sat back in the lab speed typing your way to the end whilst also trying to be as careful about Galen’s calculations as possible. You were right of course, his new figures still worked perfectly within your own. You looked at the clock, 2130. And the Director had told you not to be late. You printed the report and rushed back to your quarters; your heart was beating on overdrive. Was this about to be the encounter you’d always imagined? The throbbing ache between your thighs you’d also been trying (and failing) to ignore since he’d brushed his fingers to your skin earlier certainly hoped so. You barely had time for a quick shower to freshen up, but you took it anyway before changing and spraying yourself with that same perfume you’d been dousing your reports in, and hoping you wouldn’t run into anyone in the two corridors that you would have to traverse.

You checked yourself in the mirror as you gathered the hard copy of the report and your datapad for back up. You looked flushed, but still pretty at least. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself for your walk - you had a feeling you were about to end up being even more so… You paused suddenly and turned to the window; the colour of space had suddenly caught your eye. Purples and blues fogged in front of you, instead of the usual endless rolling black flecked with stars. It shimmered every so often and you recognised it instantly. ‘An Ion storm is coming…’ you breathed. You hadn’t noticed because your lab had no windows, but you were overjoyed that you hadn’t missed it. You allowed yourself to marvel it for a few seconds more before you realised you were about to make yourself late. Padding down the corridors you were pleased to see that there was no-one on route and you reached his room at exactly 2159. You waited for that minute to tick over, and at 2200, you knocked.

“Enter.” Krennic’s voice called you, with a sultry edge to it. And you bit your lip gently. At the sound of his voice his door slid open, and beckoned you inside. *** If you thought your room was spacious and had a generous window, this one was something else. Krennic’s quarters had a window that swept almost the entire far end of the room, and your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to those vibrant purples and blues again. The lighting was fairly dimmed but you recognised it as ambiance; Krennic was setting a mood here. That feeling stirred once more in the pit of your stomach and you swallowed hard, the room had all the amenities, and you wondered why the hell he even wanted an office as well as this. Probably because he didn’t want everyone in his room, you guessed, but he had a desk and everything here. You scanned across the room to the bed; at least king sized, the sheets looked comfortable and luxurious. Why didn’t that surprise you either.

Footsteps approached from your left and Krennic swept around the corner from whatever had been keeping him occupied. He halted, immediately tipping his head to survey your body - instinctively you pulled the papers up to your chest and hugged them close. “I-I believe you asked me here to take you through a data review, Sir. And I made sure to print them all.” He hadn’t even traced his way up to your face yet and that smile became a grin, became a smirk. Krennic stepped forward - bless you for actually printing the damn report. He held his hand out, “Indeed I did.” You offered up the paperwork and he walked back to his desk, beckoning you to follow him. He could already smell the perfume on the documents, biting back a low moan. He had no intention of reading them tonight. In fact you hadn’t even sprayed the documents with your perfume, but there was so much of it on you that when you’d held them close it couldn’t help but transfer across. Krennic set them, and your datapad, down on his desk and turned back to you, now a little further into the room. Your hair was down to natural length and framed your face delicately. There were no shoes on your feet either. But your dress… oh… Ending just appropriately long enough to cover everything, the silk slip dress - in your favourite colour, Krennic remembered - plunged pretty low, thin straps looped over your shoulders and, he couldn’t see yet, but it had a low back too. At least you were dressed appropriately for where your evening was going to go. Krennic swallowed, aware of his own arousal as he made his way slowly back over to you, again, instead of stopping in front of you he rounded your body. Where he was close the cape brushed against your bare skin and you had to bite your lip hard not to whimper. Why was just the feel of it so sexy? Was it really the thought of being covered in it and nothing else? Would he wear it if you asked him to…? No, maybe not for your first time together… you didn’t think he’d want you making too many demands of him.

“I checked the weather for today and it looks like there will be a good ion lightning storm in the area. We can’t exactly move out of its way so… I thought you might like to observe…” “You remember a lot of things about me, Director… this one I might just have to thank you for.” Even as he disappeared behind you again you kept your eyes front on space, although you couldn’t help but be curious if he was going to touch your hair again. It hadn’t escaped your notice that he was finally gloveless. I really AM like a repressed maiden! He halted, and somehow it felt like he was even closer than before; was Krennic’s breath on the back of your neck just your imagination? You shivered involuntarily and even if you couldn’t see him, you could picture that smirk. His voice was at a husky whisper, already threatening to drive you wild. You didn’t dare press your thighs together, despite your desperation. “This dress is certainly not regulation uniform, and as per the rules, that would mean it needs to be removed.” You didn’t even get the chance to wonder if Krennic was going to do it himself as his large hands rested on your shoulders for a moment. You couldn’t help but tense; it seemed like such a foreign concept, his bare skin touching yours. You wondered if his hands would be calloused with all the work he did. He certainly didn’t mind getting dirty. But he was an architect at heart, and his hands seemed pretty smooth, assured, and warm… he was so warm… Krennic caressed his fingertips over you and you really couldn’t have helped that small whine even if you’d have tried. You were still picturing that delicious little smirk in your head, and you wanted to kiss it off. Patience… At this rate you’ll be getting to do more than that... His fingers slid under the straps, pulling them off your shoulders agonisingly slow, but Krennic didn’t attempt to help the fabric down your body, instead he just let it fall. It pooled around your feet and you swallowed hard again, hearing the slight chuckle in his voice before he tsked you. “You didn’t think to wear anything underneath?” “Well I thought about it, but-” You gasped as his hand grasped your waist, sliding down to your hip, his other brushing your hair back to expose your neck. Krennic’s first kiss wasn’t even tentative; but it was teasing and you shook under his touch. He smirked into your neck as he continued to kiss a trail. You bit back a groan, closing your eyes to the sensation of his lips on your skin, sighing for certain as his tongue ran over you. Had you told him this too? Or did he really know far too much… Finally having him kiss you after all this time was something that you almost found indescribable, and the heat between your thighs made you press them together as discreetly as possible - he’d get there you were sure of it, but that ache demanded attention. Krennic inhaled - and somehow that perfume smelled even better on your skin. He growled, grazing his teeth over your jugular, pulling your body back into his. “Oh… Y/N… you smell so good.” You gasped again as this time his arms locked around your waist to hold you in place; so close that his cape once again brushed your skin, you simply lay your hands over his. His still clothed body pressed up against yours felt simply divine and you knew Krennic was about to drive you insane, on purpose. As those kisses to your neck became a little hotter - and you started to imagine all the marks about to be left on your body - you couldn’t resist tipping your head back to sigh his name. You couldn’t be sure which he wanted to hear, but surely he would tell you if it was his first name. Maybe he didn’t want his lovers to call him that… you remembered your promise not to become just one on a list, but you didn’t want to think too hard on that right now. Much more enjoy the moment. You leant your body weight back against him, suddenly feeling tiny in his large hands. He smirked into your skin again, pulling back, one hand coming back up to turn your face to his.

“My, my… You’re already so flushed and… responsive.” That little smirk was so gorgeous you had second thoughts about kissing it off. You were already aware of how heavy you were breathing. Krennic bit his lip and somehow that made him sexier, “Have you thought about this?” You nodded, hardly seeing the point of lying. “A lot?” You knew the blush on your cheeks was only getting deeper as you nodded again. Krennic chuckled, “At least I’m not the only one…” He held you in place by your chin, “Whatever your fantasies are, you can tell me. But I can promise I’ll be better.” He studied your face intently, “Would you like me to kiss you, Y/N?” You wondered if that was a stupid question, eyes flicking to his lips and back to that intense stare he was giving you, “Y-Yes.” Surprisingly his kiss wasn’t as rough as they had been to your neck, but he showed no mercy when deepening it, and his tongue wasn’t about to let yours assert any dominance. You could taste hints of alcohol and caffeine, and something sweet - although you could hardly remember what they were serving in the canteen now. When Krennic finally released your lips to let you breathe, you were panting even harder - how was it possible to feel that power even in his kisses; you were going to be completely at his mercy all night and right now it was a delightful prospect. The wealth of experience he had meant he could surely show you a thing or two. The next graze of his lips to yours was fleeting, and he drew from you a whine. By his smile exactly what Krennic wanted. His hands wandered as he pressed a kiss into your shoulder, down the run of the pulse in your neck and over your clavicles to your breasts. Keeping those steely blue eyes on yours you were hardly able to look away as his fingertips brushed over your sensitive nipples. Even your attempts to stifle your groans didn’t work and you closed your eyes to his touch as he circled his fingertips around one. “You are so fucking beautiful…” He nudged your head gently with his own to expose your neck to him once more, “And you sound fucking beautiful too…” “K-Krennic…” You mumbled his name again, once again fixating on his fingertips as he moved them across to your other breast, repeating the same teasing circular motion before he kneaded you. You thought you’d read somewhere that you could orgasm just from this - and right now you’d believe it; feeling that sticky sweetness on your inner thighs. At this rate you weren’t going to last until Krennic touched you there. “Maybe we’ll have to make this your regulation uniform.” His voice was husky, “I’m sure I could have that rule changed just for you.” You shuddered again as he pinched your nipple between his fingers playfully, “Would you like that?” “O-Only f-or you.” You might as well go for it; he might as well know exactly how you felt. “Ahhhh!” Krennic vocalised like he’d just figured it all out, “Should I just keep you here? Or in my office? I hold a great many meetings there, though… I’m not sure I would like them all staring at you in your uniform.” He growled into the next kiss he placed to your skin, “I get jealous too, you know?” Well you did now.

Krennic straightened himself to full height, still supporting your weight his hands travelled down your body agonizingly slow; almost as if he was committing every inch of you to his memory. You already knew he liked details - and he was an architect; so it was Krennic’s business to know detail. Just how much could he remember about a lover? How much of you were you prepared for him to discover about you. His fingertips traces over your ribs, down and across your bellybutton and just below your stomach when he paused and his eyes left you. For a moment you’d quite forgotten that you were in the middle of an ion storm, and you wondered what exactly had dragged his attention away from you. The illumination of his face in the first strike of lightning made you gasp. And all you could think of was those eyes in the rainstorm on Eadu. The first time you’d ever seen him, an image that still haunted you. That was no doubt responsible for you now being naked in his arms like this. You turned to the window to watch the lightning for a moment too, flashing across the purples, blues and pinks of the cloud. “Isn’t it beautiful.” You breathed gently, and you heard him chuckle, “I don’t think you’ve looked in a mirror.” This time he pressed his kiss to your temple, and it was almost sweet. But now Krennic had you distracted by the storm - so his fingers traced lower and before you knew it he was pressing down gently on your clit. Your body gave a lurch into his and he growled again. Moving his fingers into your folds, you moaned head tipped back onto his shoulder, “Krennic…” “I knew you wanted me, Y/N, but like this?” His fingers moved through your wetness, teasing your entrance for a moment, and making you shudder, moaning his name again. “I can see that desire in your eyes wasn’t lying…” Krennic was smirking again as he watched you react to his fingertips, dragging them back towards your clit, “How many times have you been this wet around me, hmm? How many times have you thought of me doing this? Do you touch yourself and think about me? Is that what you do?” “Y-Yes-” Your thoughts were hardly coherent at this point, and as soon as his fingers touched your clit again, in teasing circles, you cried out; “Oh, Krennic, please!” “What else do you do to yourself when you think about me, hm?” He put a little more pressure on your clit as he rubbed it, “What do you think about? Me touching you like this? Or me fucking you? What set you off, hmmm? All that water-cooler chat? Believe me I know what they say... How would you like me to do it, Y/N? Do you want me to try to be gentle, or do you want it rough?” As if you really cared; your body shuddered again and you attempted to help the friction by closing your thighs once more, ache becoming a throb. “Uh uh.” His foot jammed between yours and forced your legs to widen for him, “I don’t like cheaters, Y/N.” You moaned once more as those little circles got faster and rougher, “Please, please! Krennic I’m begging you…” You whined, and your voice shook as you could feel that pleasure building, he couldn’t stop now. You wouldn’t let him, “Do whatever you want to me… just fuck me.” He nipped the top of your ear this time, “The pleasure will be all mine.” This time as the lightning flashed it illuminated your body, and Krennic was right, your dips and curves were flawless, you looked ready for him, you felt ready for him… like you were made for this very moment. Krennic moved his fingertips faster - and this time he pushed his body into yours. Your gasp at his grind into you was for one obvious reason; you could feel how hard he was getting. Oh, fuck... Your body shuddered once more and you mewled, positive that you were even wetter now. He knew it too, by that chuckle. “Oh? You want me don’t you? I know you know how wet you are… You want me so fucking bad…” That husky whisper was driving you crazy and you knew Krennic wasn’t going to let up on it, “You feel so hot, so fuckable… Oh, Y/N, I can’t wait to be inside you, but you’ll have to wait for that.” This time your groan was a little strangled, “That’s it, be a good girl… cum for me.”

If it wasn’t what he was doing to you it was his voice alone that sent that shot of pleasure right through you, burning head to toe with no mercy. You cried out again, but this time it was his first name you used - and you hoped he didn’t care. Panting as you felt the sweat begin to gather on your skin. Your legs shook a little but he held you strong. “Good girl.” He removed his fingertips from your clit, once again pressing a kiss to your neck, “But, you know as well as I that this is hardly over…” You rested your body against his chest for a minute, and he carded his fingers through your hair; it was almost soothing as Krennic twisted it between his fingers, “How about we use the bed now, hmm?”

“…Y…Yes…” You could only hazily agree, would he actually fuck you now? You were throbbing again - sure he’d said he wanted to be inside you, but did he know how much you needed him inside you? “Go on,” Krennic pushed you forward with his hand to the small of your back, you stumbled a little but didn’t fall and he observed your walk, the curves of your ass - the lingering of your arousal on your thighs. “Hands down.” He followed you across the floor - he was aware of how uncomfortable he felt, with heat in just the right places, and the way his pulse was running just to look at you. But he had to take this slow. The goal wasn’t just to bed you, it was to erase every other man from your memory too, so that he was your one and only waking thought.

You had to admit your confusion, but placed your hands out on the sheets in front of you to support your body, Krennic made you keep your feet on the floor and for a second you wondered if this was how he was going to do it. It seemed like a waste of a good bed, but your brain was hardly running your feelings here and that throb between your legs was so desperate for something that you didn’t care how you got it. Instead of hearing him shed clothing, or even just undo his zipper, Krennic’s fingers ran your spine. He really was about to commit every inch of you to memory, you weren’t kidding, before he traced them over your ass. You were half expecting him to slap you, but that didn’t happen either. In fact his fingers went right back to your wetness, and you shivered again; Krennic’s movements this time were less teasing as he pushed his fingers into you; you cried out - he didn’t even bother with one at a time. But at least there was something dulling that ache for a second; although you knew what your body really craved. The storm illuminated everything in the room, and far more regularly than before, as his fingers pumped in and out of you. The hums he was making were satisfied, and part of you wished you could see what they looked like crossing his face. In fact the thought that you might not get to see his face almost disappointed you. But you realised something else, the colours the storm were throwing everywhere, the very sound of it - with how much you enjoyed them anyway - and Krennic here with you, was only serving to turn you on even more. And he noticed. “Oh?” This sounded almost curious, “So lightning makes you even more wet, or is that just me?” You swallowed hard, against the feeling of his fingers stretching you, you were desperate for him to get naked now. “To… be honest, no-one has ever fucked me in a lightning storm.” “Huh. Maybe they should have tried, I figure they’re missing out.” You whined again, “Krennic please… please… I can’t take much more of this… fuck, I… I need you.”

You weren’t sure if Krennic did it because he was listening to your plea, or if he was simply just ready to do it himself, but the next thing you knew he’d removed his fingers from you and flipped your body so you were now on your back, on the bed. And as your eyes locked with his you realised exactly what you would have been missing out on. Although serious, those eyes were so incredibly dark and lust rimmed, and hungry for your body, that you thought you might come undone again right then and there. He placed his thumb delicately against your lips for a second, tracing them, before smirking again, “Open your mouth.” You blinked, but finding no reason not to do what he asked, your lips parted, tongue grazing his fingertip. Krennic immediately smirked, “That’s a good girl.” Before he slid the two fingers that had just been inside you, into your mouth. You moaned gently at the sensation. “I bet you taste so good, don’t you?” You could feel yourself blushing again, unsure exactly how to respond to that besides another muffled moan. He withdrew them, eyes narrowed even though he was smiling.

“And you do exactly what I say…” Krennic drew himself back to height, dragging his eyes down your body and as he did so he reached up to his shoulders, undoing the fastenings for his cape. Oh, you were going to get to watch Krennic undress? You moved to help him, but his eyes raised back to your face - and this time the bright white flash made those eyes of crystal blue let you know that he wanted you to stay absolutely still. “You look ready for me darling. Are you?” You nodded, hoping that the look on your face was as pleading as you thought it was. “Born ready for me…” Krennic’s voice this time sent chills through you with how commanding it was, “Mine.” You watched the cape fall to the floor and wished again for that silky texture to brush against your skin, perhaps you would ask him again later. He undid his tunic and shrugged himself out of it; Krennic wasn’t exactly bothering to put on a show for you - but it still felt like one, running his hands through his hair with a breath out before he undid his shirt. Slower now, button by button as he looked into your eyes, that little teasing smile on his face only made your lips part. This man was so gorgeous. And you were here, in his quarters, in his bed. You out of the many hundreds of women on this Battle Station - and all of them beautiful - Director Orson Krennic wanted you. He threw his shirt behind him too, before settling his hands on his waistband. You studied him for just long enough, he was built more toned than chiselled, and his arms and chest were particularly defined; there was a scar on his left-hand side, just above his heart, and you wondered what the story was with that. Maybe in a quieter moment you would ask, but that was not a story for right now. You traced back to where his fingers were waiting for you to take him all in and this time you bit your lip, you’d already felt him against you but you still weren’t sure you were adequately prepared… Undoing his zip with as much tease as his buttons Krennic let his pants and boxers fall at the same time. Your eyes widened, and you swallowed hard ‘Oh, holy shit...’ Your heartbeat picked up pace and you felt yourself clench greedily just at the sight of him. You bit your lip a little harder and raised your eyes back up Krennic’s body to his face, “I want to let you know - although it sounds like you do know - that every single one of those rumours is SO fucking true.” He smirked, “I might have started one or two of them myself.” You almost laughed, “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” He gave a shrug, “Well darling, don’t we all want to project the best version of ourselves?” Krennic joined you on the bed, settling himself between your thighs again, pulling your legs around him, “Now I’m going to prove the rest of them true, whilst also letting you in on some things you don’t know.”

You had every right to moan as loud as you did as he pushed into you, feeling completely filled right away. Definitely true - part of you felt you might be smirking very broadly into your coffee in the mornings from now on. Instead of covering your body Krennic stayed in that kneeling position with your legs crossed behind him, hands gripping your thighs and nails digging into your skin. You almost wanted his nails to leave marks, for there to be bruises that lingered for more than just a few days where he gripped you - just to prove it had really happened. If this is a dream please don’t ever let me wake up. He growled as you adjusted to each other, voice husky once more, “You’re so tight.” Your sigh came out a little choked with your breathing as - at first - he moved slow, hands gilding softly over your skin as he lay his palms flat. But he still had enough pressure on you; Krennic was still in control. Right now, being in control was the last thing you were thinking of.

Those slow movements of his were a facade, but they had you already moaning - body tingling as you got used to the feelings of Krennic being inside you. You wondered if you should be trying to be quiet? How many other senior officers had rooms around Krennic’s that could potentially hear this - did Krennic even care? What if they knew it was you though? You weren’t necessarily sure you wanted the reputation that might come with being Krennic’s bed mate, even if it really was only going to be tonight. As if he knew what you were thinking Krennic pushed into you a little harder, causing you to cry out a little louder than before - no point in holding back. “Let me hear you, Y/N. Let me hear those delicious little moans of yours. You can be as loud as you want here, I won’t tell anyone…” He smirked, “You might as well let yourself - because this is going to be the best orgasm of your life, or it’s going to be nothing. I don’t do half measures.” That seemed like an odd form of encouragement, but hot enough to get you mewling again. And he didn’t slow his pace. Instead Krennic dug his nails back into your skin, thrusting into you harder and rougher. You arched your back up, pushing your hips into his to take him deeper and deeper. Usually you weren’t so loud during sex, but with your eyes closed to the ecstasy of it all, each thrust received a moan that steadily grew louder and louder until you were pleading him: “Oh, Krennic… Oh please, more… Harder, Sir, please… please don’t stop…” This was clearly only urging him on as he found another notch in his pace. You might be one for thinking this was the best sex you’d ever had as you opened your eyes to focus on him once more; Krennic’s skin was starting to get that dewy look as sweat started to build, leaving his hair to look a darker shade of grey. And that lightning… oh, that lightning. Watching that storm behind him made the pleasure even more intense. The backdrop was stunning to an already flawless view - what more could you possibly ask for?

His sex was deliciously rough, and it was all you could do to watch his body, the way his muscles moved with each thrust, the tension running from his shoulders, down his arms, through his fingers and the little indents from his nails you could see in your skin. You almost wanted those fingers back inside you again too. Krennic growled as that thought led to you clenching around him: “What are you thinking about?” You looked to his face, obviously you were already flushed, but if it were possible to turn a deeper shade of red you were now. “...Please…” You voice wavered and you realised where this was all heading, “Please Krennic harder… Please I want to- I want to- let me cum for you.” That smirk was just plain dirty, and as he placed one hand under you to raise your hips a little more his next thrust found your sweet spot. You cried out even louder - hit with a shot of pleasure more intense than any you thought you’d ever felt. “Fuck-! Director-! Please!” He chuckled, “I have a first name, Y/N, you can use it.” Did he want you to use it? Did he ask everyone he took to bed to use it? You gasped again as white-hot heat shot through you head to toe and your legs locked around him, pulling him even deeper as you tipped your head back. And he knew as well as you did: “That’s a good girl, that’s my good girl.” Krennic continued to thrust into you until you had to squeeze your eyes shut, head tipped back you very nearly screamed his first name as your body shook and you came undone.

 Your short, sharp pants didn’t really have any time to become afterglow, or some slow paced ‘love making’ for him to ride into his own high. Oh no, Krennic wasn’t finished with you yet - and although he lingered at a slower pace for a little - you could feel yourself building up again, heightened by the climax you had just felt. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes and you got the feeling that Krennic was not about to be termed a selfish lover. But a possessive one; your body was his, and he wasn’t finished with you yet. You cried out as he took that pace up again, you could feel him getting harder inside you, every little twitch as he continued those rough thrusts. “You ready for more?” You nodded weakly, moaning again, this would be the third time in one evening. Even if these two were in quick succession. “Yes what?” The commanding tone in his voice and the way he squeezed your thighs a little harder made you shake again, “Yes, Orson. Please… please, baby… I- I’m ready.” As you said his name this time Krennic pushed his body forward so that his hands rested above your shoulders, catching your lips in a harsh kiss. Your hands immediately shot to his arms, over those toned shoulders, and your fingers tangled in his hair. This time his kisses swallowed your moans, and the higher in pitch they got the more he knew you were ready to let go again. With him all over you like this, the scent of that cologne filled your senses. Krennic thrusted into you one last time and let you cry out into his shoulder. He could probably go a little longer - but he’d build you up to that in due time, he couldn’t ruin you on your first time with him. As you clenched around him, just as greedily as before, Krennic growled - hot breath in your ear as your own ecstasy became his. And now you were his too.

He let you continue to embrace him as you both panted, moving his own hands to gently caress your sides, your stomach and your thighs. Although the only sound was your breathing, and you could barely think of anything else, hands carding through his hair and watching those beautiful blue eyes focus on nothing in particular. Until the lighting strike flashed closer to you than before, causing him to look out the window. You followed his line of sight. “It really is gorgeous…” You weren’t sure if that muse was supposed to come out of Krennic’s mouth, but it made you smile. “Mhm… And I need to have sex in storms more often.” He chuckled, turning back to you and kissing your neck, softly, “Well, you know who to call.” Krennic pulled out of you gently, smirking again to see yours and his arousal lingering on your inner thighs. His. Before he lay next to you, eyes still on the storm.

You wondered what the best thing to do now was, as your high unwound. Ironically you didn’t think your body had been this relaxed in a while either. Should you leave? Should you make the decision to leave him before he kicked you out himself? You wondered if that was the polite thing to do. You didn’t know if Krennic was the type to really sleep with someone. When he would be at his most vulnerable. You weren’t sure he would want to show that side of himself to anyone. You decided you would show willing, and would let him know that you would leave if that’s what Krennic wanted - you weren’t about to outstay your welcome. Instead, Krennic did the unexpected and, finally settling down in the sheets, he pulled you into his arms, showering you with delicate kisses and touches. Aftercare... You snuggled into his body, sighing in sleepy content and closed your eyes as he pulled the sheets further around you. Did you dare believe this was happening - No, and yet it was. You were really here, in the Director’s arms. And he wanted you to stay. Krennic pressed a kiss to your forehead, and you could already feel yourself drifting off in his arms: “We’ll review your report in the morning.” *** When you awoke, the lights in his room were up to their brightest day setting. Krennic’s free hand was wandering over your thighs absentmindedly as he lay on his back, your datapad in his other. You tried to concentrate on that small smile on his face, those blue eyes of his, just how good he looked comfortable and relaxed, and out of uniform. You hadn’t noticed the collection of freckles across his chest in the dark of the storm last night either. Suddenly you wanted this moment to last forever, no matter now impossible. This coupled with the travel of his hands, even at this time in the morning, was making you sigh blissfully.

Krennic’s eyes flicked from what he was reviewing to your face as he turned his head slowly. “This report is good. Perfect, even. The ion storm messed with some systems last night, that can’t be helped. But we should all be back online to work later. I agree with your data, consider it reviewed.” Your head tipped curiously. “Systems are down? So…” You bit your lip wickedly, “We don’t have to leave?” Krennic placed your datapad on his bedside table and rolled over, hand moving to between your thighs, he could read that mischievous little smirk of yours perfectly. “Not until much later if I have anything to say about it.” You blinked once slowly, opting to voice your single concern now, before anything got out of hand, it was a whisper that seemed so out of place. But maybe that made it the perfect time. “I don’t want to be just a one-time thing.” Krennic’s eyebrows knitted for a second, before he smiled gently, other hand moving to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb before he tangled his fingers in your hair, bringing you back to his lips. “Trust me, that was never a consideration.”

---

Thank you SO much for reading, oh my gosh I’m slightly emotional over this one. I NEVER thought it’d be this long. And it’s 200. Like... there’s 200 of these things!? 

I didn’t think I would get past one. And it’s ALL because of you guys! 

Thank you for all your love and support - I know I keep saying it but I truly mean it. It means the world to me. 💙💜

[ichika27]

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun s2 ep21

Last episode for this season!

It’s strange we’re only getting 21. It feels like an awkward number to end on since many other anime that goes on for 20+ episodes have at least 24-26. Oh well, s3 has been announced so it’s all good I guess.

It's still the Apocalypse (the last day of it) and Iruma is trying to finish all of his homework which seem to be going well. He had a lot to do due to homework being doubled.

Why was homework doubled? It's the consequence of a past action...

It was due to the bet from back at the Walter Park arc! They remembered about it (I kinda forgot about it, honestly, since so many things happened since then).

Grandpa Sullivan is the one to choose the winners and decided it was all of them making them all both the winners and losers of the bet. With this, both the prize and punishments applied - they were treated to an expensive meal but they also have to deal with a ton of homework. Kalego-sensei is pissed he had to pay for everyone’s food but was very happy to tell them that they will be suffering for the rest of the apocalypse.

Iruma worked hard and got through all the homework though.

This Apocalypse Iruma had: gone on vacation with his friends, went on a sleepover at a friend's house, and went on a date... so naturally, this time around he's spending time with family!

He and Grandpa are gonna go buy school supplies. I kinda missed when me and my family did that back in the day. I always found shopping for school supplies fun.

Due to the season's earlier events, Iruma has gotten pretty popular it seems so Grandpa gives him anti-recognition glasses for a disguise. Ain’t the boy cute? I dunno why but with anime characters, glasses actually either add or subtract from how good or bad their appearance is.

Haha this reminds me, there’s this anime called “Castle Town Dandelion” and the MC is a girl who hates standing out and in one episode, her sister gave her glasses that could allegedly do the same thing Iruma’s glasses here could. It doesn’t work like that and everyone just acted as if it does to make her feel better. Akane needed this version lol.

They're headed to Magical Street to go shopping! A new area has been introduced to both us and Iruma.

This is apparently where shops, parks and also teacher's dorms are located. I’m wondering why the teacher’s dorms are here when back in the episodes where Iruma joined the student council, it seems he and the student council members were staying over at school. Why isn’t the dorm for faculty members at school, too then? Weird.

Iruma's Grandpa is pretty popular, too. People crowded around him as soon as they saw him but doesn't recognize Iruma due to the glasses. Makes me wonder why Grandpa didn't wear ones himself lol.

Grandpa Sullivan isn’t just popular as he’s well-liked, too.

First, clothes shopping! Iruma tried on a coat as they need some for the upcoming winter. Grandpa decides these were good and takes an entire rack. Damn they're rich lol. He tells Iruma to just wear a different one everyday.

They're buying accessories next and Opera suggest that Iruma buy a collar for his familiar which is Kalego-sensei lol. Iruma knew it would not end well if he actually did that and declines. Opera is disappointed by this... they really want to mess with Kalego, huh?

I think it’s funny but I also pity Kalego-sensei. Having to deal with his senpai’s antics long after graduating. The nightmare of many former students.

Next they're buying books! God this makes me miss going to book fairs.

Grandpa tells the staff at the desk what books he wanted and each one he lists off automatically flies down next to him (pretty cool). Grandpa explains that Iruma would need a lot of books to learn more spells. They talked about the spell Fractal (which Iruma used to princess carry Ameri last episode) and Grandpa tells him that with enough practice, Iruma could also use it to be able to fly. Grandpa takes this chance to show-off to Iruma by using it to take down a shoplifter. Everyone in the store is amazed but Iruma's praise is the one Grandpa cares about the most.

They continue shopping for stuff. This was funny cause the way Grandpa said the lollipop's name reminded me of how Doraemon introduces the items from his pocket. Also, does this mean that lollipop has no expiration date?

The day ends with the two having a talk (Opera went and got the carriage). Iruma says he had a lot of fun at school which made his Grandpa happy knowing Iruma has gotten used to living here. Grandpa tells him that the new semester would be even more eventful than this one and showed him a poster of what I assume would be the festivals the other fans have been mentioning.

In the middle of their talk, Iruma suddenly asks Grandpa about how to become a Demon King (likely cause he overheard some people wondering aloud why Sullivan, a powerful demon, didn't want to take the job despite being qualified for it).

Grandpa is surprised and speechless for a moment but then becomes happy and says if Iruma is asking cause he wanted to be Demon King then Grandpa will support him. Iruma explains he’s just curious.

Flashback! It seems Grandpa used to work for the former Demon King, Delkiller.

Too bad his face is covered. I’m curious to know what he looked like when he was younger.

Oooh... we finally see him - the infamous Delkiller that's been talked about for a long time. His face isn't completely properly shown for now, I guess but he’s shown to be pretty huge. He seems lazy but he also takes pride in the Demon World he's created. The flashback ends here though.

His hair color reminds me somewhat of Evil Cycle! Iruma’s hair color...

We get a bit of lore info from Grandpa about Demon Kings.

Grandpa explains about the 13 Crowns - representatives of the Demon World who help govern it - and that to become a Demon King, one must possess the trust of every single one since they'd be the one to rule the Demon World.

He also explains the role and power of the Demon King - their word is law and they are the Demon World itself. Demons will do as they commanded. The Demon World is a reflection of whoever ruled it and right now, the Demon World is a fun place because Delkiller-sama was a fun person.

Grandpa explains that with all these in mind, he doesn't know if he'd even get the role someday if he wanted it or if he ever did, if he'd be worthy of it. It’s such a big thing after all.

If he did become the Demon King though, he says he'd do this: make the Demon World "Iruma"-themed lol. Seriously though, he says he'd support Iruma if he'd become the Demon King and would like to see what kind of world Iruma would create.

These statements are very ironic considering who would end up being future Demon King haha.

While Iruma said he didn’t want to become Demon King, he did end up thinking about it. What if he did become the Demon King?

Hmm... for someone who isn’t interested, he looked like he was thinking deeply about it.

They get back home and later that night, Iruma checked the stuff Granpa bought him.

Iruma finally gets a hold of the Demon King Prophecy! We've heard about the prophecy before but Iruma probably hasn't yet until now. After listing the stuff about the future king, there’s a shot of Iruma’s hand with his ring haha. Upon reading this, Iruma thought more about it: What kind of world would it become if he were to become the Demon King?

You’re not the only one wondering Iruma. I’m sure the rest of the fandom is wondering that, too.

The new semester begins! The entire Abnormal class is told that they now have to attain Dalet (4) rank before their second year begins as it's the minimum they'd need to graduate - failure results in them losing the Royal One classroom!

--

Not gonna lie, the shopping part of the episode reminded me of the scenes at the beginning of the firsts Harry Potter movies with them shopping at Diagon Alley. It’s fun and I got to see more of the Demon World. I wonder if they’d show us other places in the Demon World in the next season.

Grandpa happily doting on Iruma made me think that maybe it’d have been better for him if he had gotten to adopt Iruma as a child. Iruma is already a teenager and so their time they could spend together wouldn’t be as long or as often since Iruma had friends and busy with school. On the other hand, Iruma gained a lot of experiences in his crappy life before getting here and it did help him become the person he is. I guess the problem here is that he’s human and he probably ages faster than everyone else. :P

Like I mentioned before, it feels weird we only got 21 episodes this time. I was hoping there’d be another arc before the end of the season. There’s already a season 3 announcement and for next year, I think, so its all good. It might feel like a long time but I thought the same back when season 1 ended and now the finale for season 2 had just aired. Time flies fast.

I just wanna point out that in the last scene at the classroom when they were being told about the rank raising they gotta do, Agares is shown with his eyes visible. I’m glad they never put that mask back to cover his face cause he looks good haha. Glad they kept this detail.

Well, thank you for reading this and the other posts, too if you did. I guess we’d have to wait for season 3 now. I’m glad this show is popular enough to gain another season so fast. :)

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

I'm gonna say something mean... I hate half of the cast of T7S. Obvs D*nny takes the gold, but WV is an asshole creep that groomed girls way younger than him in the industry. LP allegedly used her connections with Scientology to help cover up DM's crimes. AK I think's misguided more than anything, but him defending Ellen Degeneres was a big 'oof'.

The only ones I kinda respect are Mila, Topher and the adults and even then I'm wary. I personally try to stay away of any new content by the others and if they come back for the spinoff I'll probably do the same. Awesome characters, really crappy people.

I feel the same way about everyone but Ashton. I like him, and I've liked him way before I started watching T70S. He spent millions and millions of dollars to create an organization to help victims of sex trafficking, and he's known for doing a lot of charity, I admire that a lot. The whole Ellen thing was bad, but I can understand him a little. I mean, he probably never saw the nasty side of her that other people have seen, and he was just defending a friend. I'm not saying he was right (he wasn't), but I don't think that's something people should cancel him for.

But I'm also very wary about stanning irl people. I like AK, but I'm not a AK stan. He, just like any other famous person, is a person that I do not know in real life, so I don't know what's he really like, and I probably will never know.

I was so disappointed when the news about DM came out that I promised myself I would never create expectations for any other famous person ever again, and I haven't.

I honestly couldn't care less about the cast now, I'm not interested in them, I'm interested on the show and the characters and that's all.

T70S is a big part of my life, the show has helped me through many difficult times, and I refuse to let the actors ruin that for me.

[bigskydreaming]

Anon who sent that ask about someone else - it might take me awhile to respond because there’s kinda an indepth answer to that.....like its not a long convoluted thing, honestly, its just something that’s a matter of saying it right so it comes out the way I mean it, y’know? But for the record, not everyone I reblog from is a mutual, sometimes I’m just seeing what other people are posting, and there’s a difference between people I interact with and people I let myself get close to. I’m kinda a stubborn fuck, lol, which means after a literal lifetime of isolating myself and making sure me and ‘my issues’ were only taking up as much space as others were willing to allot me, like, I just fucking got exhausted by that and decided awhile back that no. Fuck no, I’m not doing that anymore, because I shouldn’t HAVE to. I put a lot of effort into making sure I make room for problems people speak up about that I previously didn’t notice or wasn’t aware of, and so I think its only fair that people do the same in return for me when and where it becomes an issue. That’s how society is SUPPOSED to work, I believe. No, everybody doesn’t have to agree on everything, but when its a matter of just CARING how things we prioritize and make room for affect others around us and squeeze them into smaller and smaller spaces......eventually, it comes down to being either put up or shut up time.

And I know where I stand on those things, and since I’m also a big believer in personal accountability, like.....I’m just not someone who’s willing to make it easier for others to determine the same, like, at my expense. Not anymore. So....bottom line is, I don’t limit my interactions with others based on figuring out where they stand on stuff and building myself a fortress that boxes them out and has a sign out that says keep out if you don’t like xyz.

Instead, I do exactly what proponents of “Don’t like, don’t read” CLAIM they do.

I set out my blanket on this big fucking giant lawn that’s all tumblr really is, a communal space where anyone can set up shop and anyone can see what anyone else is doing over in their space and there really AREN’T ‘walls’ no matter how much we pretend there are.....and since there’s not really a finite amount of space, I take up as much space as I need to, over here in my personal bit of it, and I use it however the fuck I please. Just like everyone else.

And then I leave it up to other people to figure out for themselves how much they want to come into my space, or near my space, or how much distance they want to put between themselves and my space.....but I make damn clear that everyone knows: this is MY space, this is what *I* believe in and stand for and I will talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about, WHEN I want to talk about it, at the volume I want to talk about it. And anyone that doesn’t work for has pleeeeeeeenty of other space they can put between themselves and me so they 100% do not have to hear anything I’m saying, let alone interact with it.

And thing is....they absolutely can do whatever they want in their spaces too. They can talk about ME if they want to, and whatever it is that I’m saying - that’s their right! And if I see them or hear them talking about me I can share what I think about THAT, in a totally counter-productive never-ending spiral that yeah, we sometimes get sucked into.

Just like.....I accept that people CAN ship what they want to ship and write what they want to write and do all of that in their various spaces.....but when those spaces butt up next to mine or when they share space with somewhere that’s supposedly a communal space that all like-minded fans are welcome in....yup, I CAN say what I feel and think about those even just EXISTING. And then they can say and feel whatever they want about THAT and down the line it goes, lol.

(Its kinda hilarious to me how sometimes my little rants about fic result in people spitefully posting stuff that’s exactly what I was talking about and making sure to let me know if its in reaction to me being so damn annoying and loud. Its like....lol, adorable how you just flat out refuse to get that I’m only REACTING to what you put out there in the first place, so putting out MORE of the same to ‘spite’ me is never going to make me talk about it LESS. You fucking dumbasses.)

But you see what I’m saying right? Like.....it just doesn’t work for me anymore, to do what I did pretty much since I was ten years old, and continually retreat AWAY from the spaces taken up by EVERYONE else who refused to consider my needs or comfort or what I was asking in order to just....exist alongside them.

And that’s all ANYONE who says similar stuff to me in regards to ANY content is really saying, at the end of the day:

We all have as much right to exist in these allegedly COMMUNAL spaces as anyone else, and its fucked up that so many people think it should always be on us and only us to back away and tuck ourselves into little corners that don’t intrude on anyone else, when nobody else is remotely considerate of doing the same for us. 

Especially not when the only REAL basis for people insisting that there’s nothing wrong with anything they do or say is because there’s MORE of them doing it and saying it than there are people protesting. Its like, lololol does the term tyranny of the majority not mean anything to anyone? Whether or not there’s MORE people doing something than saying hey could you not, has fuck all to do with whether or not people have a right or case for saying....hey could you not.

So....bottom line is, I just don’t fucking do it anymore. Not when I’ve done it most of my life and at the end of the day, the truth is I shouldn’t HAVE to, and should NEVER have had to....because I have as much right to be here as anyone.

So the way I go about it is, I just....set up shop in my little corner of the internet, and I mostly stay here and just say what I want to say and do what I want to do loudly and clearly, so there’s really no fucking confusion about what it is I’m saying or doing and its on everyone else who comes close to determine whether or not they WANT to be here or not. And if they do? If they’re interested in what I have to say about one subject? Then they can damn well listen through what I have to say on another subject, or they can leave and come back later to see if I’ve changed the channel since then. But they don’t get to insist on what programming I put out there, and fuck them for trying to influence that if they do.

And so when it comes to other fans in this fandom....I mostly let them come to me, y’know? I don’t really....go out there seeking out other fans to interact with, I’m just kinda....here, and if what I’m saying is of interest and we end up interacting, that’s cool. And I don’t really mind too much if they’re doing something entirely different elsewhere, cuz this is the part where I’m a petty, stubborn fuck comes into play, lol.....cuz if they want to interact with me regularly, well, whenever these subjects come up, they’re gonna hear what I have to say, and that’s on them and their own damn feelings to sort out. And if it makes them feel guilty or self-conscious, that’s that personal accountability thing - figure out for their own damn selves how to reconcile those things. I’ll still be here when they’re done.

But like I said at the top, that doesn’t mean like.....there’s a difference between interacting and getting close to, and trust me, I do get far more selective about the latter, just because....anyone I’m close to? I care about their comfort and peace of mind just as much as I expect them to prioritize mine. And so I’m damn selective about making sure I even CAN honestly commit to prioritizing the stuff they put out there as being most important to them, every bit as much as whether or not they might do the same for me.....and so y’know, it all kinda sorts itself out on its own, y’know? I’m not in a rush there, and so stuff like we’re talking about doesn’t really tend to fall through the cracks by that point, if that makes sense.

And sometimes the stuff we prioritize and care most about changes, and that changes how much even good friends occupy each other’s spaces and interact, and what I’m saying is....its a process, and not a short one or one that can be sorted out with minimal thought, and the people who think its easy to straddle certain lines or have their cake and eat it too or just never prioritize someone else’s fun over their own, like....they tend to figure out in the long run that this very rarely ever results in anything more than a surface level commitment to THEM anymore than it results in a commitment of any real depth FROM them.

Idk, did all that make sense? I’m not on my meds right now so kinda why I wasn’t intending to respond to this in full right now except oh look at that, I ended up anyway, WHEN WILL I STOP THIS, lmfao.

Anyway. So yeah. That. Hope that answered your question, anon? And sorry if it doesn’t work for you or is disappointing for you or feels like a cop-out. Its just....honestly what I’ve figured out works best for me in the long run, and we all ultimately have to figure out for ourselves what that is for each of us as individuals.....and sometimes that’s just not compatible, and that’s....kinda okay too.

[co-mixed]

TROS: Where would Rey-Kylo relationship be in a year? Pt.1

Possible super minor spoilers for TROS

When we’ve heard about the time jump in TROS, the main question we asked was not the “where a certain character ends up”, but “what would follow TLJ immediately, and where would it lead in said year”. And the answer, well… let’s take a look, because we’ve held on to these ideas for two years, and it’s as good time as any to bring it up.

Let’s take Rey, as she was last seen in TLJ.

First and foremost, we know that she’s developed a crush. Now may not be obvious to everyone, but it’s also like putting 2 and 2 together.

We could go back, and review the first encounter, the interrogation, or even the fight. All of them do drop hints, but then there’s one particular TLJ exchange:

“— You’re a monster.

— Yes I am.”

And it brilliantly displays the origins of her crush. Because she stops to think, and that means her defensive reaction to shoot or fight him on sight takes a break. And mind you, she is still very much 19, in SW it’s like our 16, which is the best age for first crushes. There is a physical reaction to this, which is touched upon later for those who didn’t take the first hint (yes, it’s exactly what you think it is). There’s a cognitive reaction too, it just arrives a little later. It was really well described by Rian Johnson, when he said that he intentionally used the most uncomfortable situations. It works, because the resulting chemistry is undeniable.

Yet the last time we see her is not when she’s closing the Falcon door on him, that’s just Rey being upset and hurt, but it’s when she is on the Falcon, probably playing the whole thing over in her head. So we know they aren’t done, even if we don’t take the Force Bond into account. Next few natural steps for Rey would be to soak in those thoughts. She’s spent most of her life alone, on Jakku, and she is probably used to thinking rather than talking. Until the next Force Bond that is.

Now to Kylo/Ben.

This one is a bit more difficult, because for that we have to go all the way back to TFA. Let’s start with the fact that he has not heard that much about her. If we don’t take the novelization into account (let’s base it solely on the movie here), it appears that his initial reaction is fear. He feels threatened by someone with equal potential. And during their first encounter (we usually call it the first date), it’s safe to assume that his reaction is more physical. After that it progresses into the “let’s get to know each other” dimension. We probably can also attribute his interest in her to the dynamics that he’s picked up from Han and Leia. Not the best one, but that’s the only proper relationship model he’s seen. Rey also attacks him right away, and shows zero interest. It plays out a bit like middle school, but since both characters are fairly inexperienced, it does work. When she calls the the saber, that’s when she’s got him. No kidding, because it was either written in there, or just portrayed well enough, but it shows.

TLJ takes his interest further, to the point of belonging. And there is a reason we use this particular word for him, not her. He knows plenty about the Force, so from a mystical point of view “Why is the Force connecting us?” would be more than enough, but also Johnson is not that simple kinda writer (ok maybe some shade here). Ben feels it first, and while Rey is acting in search of that feeling, and  because of her teenage crush, he is already sold on the idea of ruling the galaxy together. It’s his attachment to her as much as the fact that she talked to him, and was willing to understand him, and maybe accept him. Yeah pretty harsh.

Then Crait, and it’s not really about the two of them. It’s like a fight when you say things you don’t mean, it’s also very human. And what follows is them both being deeply hurt.

Again, ‘till the next Force Bond.

The only line in the middle of it all, that we get is “She really cared about him, and he disappointed her”. But it wasn’t him who disappointed her really, because seems like she was disappointed because he didn’t offer her exactly what she wanted. Rey is not much around during “Resistance Reborn”, or the road to TROS. And we really don’t know what’s going on with her, just that she has some issues with the Force. But the thing that we can’t ignore here is that If she has problems, so is he. If that happens, maybe one or both of them are subconsciously trying to severe the bond, and it can only be Rey. This is what buys you some time, but not really a year. As soon as she focuses and attunes to the Force, the Bond will be back (because come on, it’s the Force). This will take a month at best and there is another factor to count in. She has a few triggers:

— The books, because they represent the Force, the very thing that connects her and him.

— The saber, because not only the two of them broke it in half, but this is the very saber that he used to kill Snoke and save her.

— Leia, because that mighty Skywalker blood. The more time she spends with Leia, the better they get to know each other, the more chances there are that they will discuss Ben. And Rey is a girl, and what are we best at? Correct, thinking. So she would remember and analyze, do it over and over again and eventually, she will start missing him, and mentally write down all the unanswered questions that she has for him.

So the first Force Bond they get, they will have questions for each other.

His would be exactly the same line we hear in TROS “I offered you my hand, why didn’t you take it?”

Hers would be “Why didn’t you stop firing on the fleet?” But that wouldn’t stop there, she would go on ranting, because she will get emotional. “Your mother was on one of those ships”, and that would strike a chord.

And we know that the only possible reaction here is Ben choking a bit, and his thought would be exactly the same as in TROS, he can’t go back to her. He knows it, but in this case he is not ready to say it out loud. He would need time to think, and the bond would probably fade for now. What do they do?

She made him think, she would understand it, and she would find ways to manipulate. This is kind of a power shift, and as strange as it feels, it makes sense.

As for Ben, that would eat him away. All while Kylo Ren is supposed to carry out his responsibilities, that amongst adding a cool title to his name, include both military duties, and politics (in the sense of dictatorship). Do we think Kylo is a great politician? No we don’t, it’s been said again and again, that his reactions are mostly physical. So he would need someone to deal with the boring parts, let’s assume he has someone who’s scared of him enough.

Then there is Hux, who not in a million years will go from praising the First Order to hating Kylo. No, we see it clearly at the end of TLJ, that he still wants to seize the leadership, and correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t he concoct a plan? Add to that the fact, that he knows the structure of the fleet, the supply management, intelligence etc. He’s been around it all, and basically does for the First Order what Leia does for the Resistance. Kylo’s been in it for how long? Considering that he’d spent his days as Snoke’s apprentice or running around with the Knights of Ren, he’s not exactly a pro. And yes, his mother is a leader and a politician, but he was training as a Jedi. Not the same thing whatsoever.

So what do we have: Kylo is distracted enough, so that Hux has a little space to pretend to be loyal. And don’t forget for a second that Hux knows about “the Girl”, who allegedly murdered Snoke. He would watch Ben closely.

Let’s also mention our favorite band the Knights of Ren. We didn’t get to learn much about them, except for the comic book, but let’s assume that we do know some things. They follow a certain concept, they do Kylo’s bidding,  and you can call the ghouls, because it seems like they praise chaos for the sake of… well… chaos. They can’t be stronger than Ben, and there is no point in them feeling him being pulled to the Light, besides that’s something he struggles with either way. Explaining why they weren’t around for TLJ is a bit tricky, but what if they were searching for Jedi/Sith artifacts? We do know from the animated show, that Kylo dispatches a lot of mission to retrieve items. Now that’s perfect for them.

Got a little sidetracked here, trying to explain how Ben’s surroundings work and affect his daily routine.

Rey is endangering any mission she’s on, because “The Girl murdered Snoke”, and the girl needs her training too. The books, after all. And she would spend more time alone, because at this point she’d have this big secret, that she can’t share with anyone but perhaps Leia. And Rey can avoid this for as long as she can, but Leia, again, is a politician. She probably reads faces well enough to read between the lines. So they both know what’s going on (like how Rey even managed to get in the same room with Ben for him to ask her to join him (Resistance Reborn). Also, and this is pretty important, Leia knows that Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader, she knows that Ben is the only one who likely did this, which brings us to the point that she definitely knows that this is when and why Ben offered Rey his hand. So yeah Leia knows pretty much the whole thing. But we leave it at that, because Leia won’t push, and Rey won’t cave asap.

Now back to Reylo.

The next Force Bond catches them both alone, and as this happens between them, they do move on from the previous chat. We know well that Ben’s trigger is Leia, so he is already on the right track.

If we imagine that she has some of her textbooks in her hands (since the Bond itself is progressing), and he would notice them, that could spark a conversation. She is trying to learn something new, fix the lightsaber, etc. Then it’s fair to assume, that they will have a few of those educational chats along the way (this idea is even more compelling because of “you need a teacher” thing), but guess what… the tension doesn’t go away, so eventually it does take over. We can argue war or opposing sides, but we’ve already established a conflict within the First Order. In other words, if Hux is smart enough, pretty soon Kylo would be out of a job. Besides, combined effect of Leia, Rey and Ben himself is definitely enough to land him in the middle. Not on the Light side, but right in the middle. Also logical to assume that Rey, driven by attachments, is right there with him. Now we can go ahead and skip forward, but the situation will resolve itself within a few months. It won’t even take a year.

Come to think of it, the Force connects them at least 5 times a week. That’s around 260 times a year, or a lot. We don’t have to follow this exact math, the Bond is allowed to be random, and it progresses to a point where they could if not teleport, at least be in the same space, wherever that is. This means that very likely, within a year they would be a thing, they would have talked everything over, and probably come to an understanding regarding Resistance/First Order thing. But it’s the middle of it all, where you insert a political conflict. We’ll get to this later, because let’s face it, this post is already way too long.

[bapyess1r]

Amphetamine

WARNINGS: you already know lol

Chapter 2

Talia’s POV

I was awakened by the sound of live music being played in the distance. I winced a bit as I looked over the clock. 9:30 AM. ‘Are they practicing already?’ I thought with a groan as I sat up. I scratched an itchy spot under my messy bun and stood to crack the bones in my back. Stretching my arms, I made my way to the bathroom. I almost startled myself as I noticed my swollen eyes and dried drool in the corner of my mouth. I had to fix it. I briefly adjusted my nose ring before ridding myself of the large tee shirt and began my shower. I took a deep breath as I stepped into the hot water, basking in the pleasantness of the morning sun coming through the windows. I could hear some solos being played from the shower and began to imagine Sam with his guitar in hand. I grinned, actually excited for the night ahead. Then I remembered him pointing a pistol at me and pouted a bit. I couldn’t just forget about that. What started off to be a great morning suddenly turned dull from the thought. I changed into a black AC/DC crop top (cut off purely because I was bored), white cargo pants fitted to every curve, and beat up black converse, the laces wrapped around my ankles. I combed my hair and put on a fair amount of makeup, thick black wings lining my eyes and lashes not too long. ‘Don’t wanna fly away and shit…’ I thought with a brief guffaw. I left the bathroom, drying my hair a bit more with my towel as my Godmother left from the kids room carrying her baby boy. The youngest of her three.

“Good morning, night owl! I was afraid you weren’t gonna wake up in time, you were up and out so late.” She laughed.

“I know! I’m sorry! I hung out with the band for a while after practice- hey baby!” I was distracted by their youngest daughter, Ava, who walked up to me with open arms in hopes to be picked up. Of course I did. She wrapped her arms around me as I sat her up on my hip, continuing the conversation as I followed my Godmother to the kitchen. “And that Sam guy came back so there’s that….”

“Oh yeah?” She smoothed a blonde strand of hair behind her ears as she put JJ in his baby booster seat.

“Yeah. I spooked him on accident but he was really nice about it.” I told her, skipping over the part about the gun as the baby gave me a big juicy gummy smile as he laughed joyfully. ‘Oh to be that carefree again…’ I thought with a smile as I turned on Disney jr for the kids and started on breakfast.

“Oh so you’ve met him already?” She began to grab bowls and spoons for the kids before walking to the kitchen, passing me as I made way to the stove.

“Yeah. He’s kinda cute for an old guy.” I smirked.

“He is good lookin’, right?” She whispered to me with a girlish grin, hoping her husband hadn’t heard. It was adorable. “Are you gonna play with the band tonight?”

“Well I was but he wants to play with just them tonight since it’s been a while. I’m gonna play next weekend.” I prepared to make bacon and eggs as she poured cereal on the booster seat tray and in the bowls for her daughters.

“Well that’s very nice of you, Talia.” She sounded proud of me. But I was honestly just being courteous.

“I wanna go see Sam!” The oldest of the three, Mariah said, waving her spoon in the air as she smiled at her mother.

“You’ll get to see him tonight when they play tonight, sweetie! You guys wanna go hear some music before bedtime tonight?” And with that, the girls cheered. “James gets off early today so you won’t have to worry about watching the kids tonight.” She said to me.

“Thank you! Because I had not a clue about how I was gonna watch the three of them and prepare for the block party.”

“Did you need me to ask your Godfather to stop somewhere and grab anything?”

“I may need some ice. Possibly some lighting fluid for the grill. Marcel is gonna grill what I prepare. And then Louie and Jules were gonna go purchase the alcoholic beverages…” I wiggles my eyebrows thinking of how absolutely trashed I planned on being tonight. And my friend from New York was supposed to come down and visit as well. Remembering that- “SHIT- I mean….dang…” I switched up my language, remembering I was in the company of children. “I forgot I have to pick up Anna from the airport! I’m gonna have to pick her up.”

“Do you need the car seats for the kids? I can set them out for you when you get ready to go.” She asked as I scooped up all of what I cooked into a plate with a piece of toast.

“That would be great! Now… I’m gonna take my breakfast to my spot on the docks and consume a bit of Can- Do- Nicotine.”

“Ok. I can take care of them til you’re done but then I gotta go to hospital.”

“Will do!” I hollered, grabbing my cigarettes and lighter on the way out the door.

As I exited into the driveway, I could hear the band practicing behind closed doors. I bobbed my head to what I thought might’ve been Orange Crush by R.E.M. It sounded almost exact. I sat down with my legs hanging off the ledge of the docks and lit my cigarette, ready to relax and consume breakfast. But then they stopped playing. “Booooo!” I said to myself in disappointment. I wanted to catch Sam singing; guess I missed it. I took a healthy drag and it wasn’t too long before he found himself outside with me.

“Y’know I definitely recall finding this smoke spot a long time ago.” He said and I turned with a large grin. He was decked out in a tight white v neck and a bold palm leaf printed Hawaiian shirt, his eyes hidden behind black shades. He smiled at me as a cigarette dangled from his mouth as he tried to light it against the winds.

“Finders keepers. And you were here to be fair.” I said before scooping the eggs and bacon onto my toast and holding it like a taco, taking a massive bite out of it. With an amused chuckle, he sat down and joined me. “Nice duds.” I gestured to his outfit of choice for the day with a slight look of judgement.

“What- you don’t like this?!”

“I didn’t say all that… It’s just an interesting look.” I giggled, diverting my eyes to the calm morning sea.

“You don’t like it.”

“I…. think there’s better Hawaiian shirts out there. Ones that don’t give off narc vibes.”

“Now I look like a cop?!”

“The shades and the conceal pistol doesn’t help your case either.”

“Wooooooow…..” he said in disbelief causing me to deliver the ugliest laugh. “Speaking of…. I just wanna apologize again for how I reacted to you last night. It was a long night and I’m still a bit jet legged.”

“Where’d you come from?”

“Peru.”

“Oooo what’s in Peru?”

“The Lost Treasure of Lima…” he waved a hand across the horizon of the sea for dramatic effect. Shit, it worked on me. I ooo’d in the background and allowed him to tell me about it. “Captain William Thompson was supposed to be in charge of transporting all of Lima’s riches to Mexíco as they were about to be on the edge of a revolt. He couldn’t resist the temptation of all that money and turned pirate.”

“How did I know this was gonna be about pirates?”

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good pirate story.” He smirked before continuing. “Basically, he and his crew were caught by the Spanish, they made a deal that they’d take them to where they ‘allegedly’ buried the treasure, got them as far as Cocos Island which was pretty close to Costa Rica, then split up to divvy the treasure. They managed to escape the jungle and were never seen again. The Spanish still never found the treasure.”

“And you did?” I asked, extremely impressed.

“I did not. Unfortunately.” he replied sourly, taking a drag of his cigarette. “We were close though…”

“What stopped you?” I asked, letting the nicotine fill my lungs. He sighed and began fidgeting with his lighter again.

“Would you believe me if I said we weren’t allowed to hunt there?”

“I see…” I definitely didn’t believe him. He didn’t seem like the type to just stop when he was so close. I began to finish the last few bites of breakfast and lit a second cigarette.

“What are your plans for the day? Seeing as you’re not playing tonight.” He said with a sneaky smirk.

“Go ahead and rub it in.” I joked. “I am preparing a few foods for Marcel to grill after your set.”

“A woman after my own heart!” he dramatically placed a hand on his chest and began fanning himself. I felt comfortable enough to punch him in the arm playfully. “Whatcha cookin’?”

“Devilled eggs, potato salad, chicken salad, kebabs, I have some chicken I managed to marinate before bed last night, burgers, and corn on the cob. And I have YET to start on a good chunk of these things AND I’m watching the kids until my Godfather gets off work. I also have to pick up my best friend from the airport. She’s visiting this weekend.” Just thinking about all of it, I got stressed out all over again.

“Well you do have a lot on your plate. Who’s your Godfather?”

“James Edwards.”

“You’re James’s kid?! Shit. I’m in big trouble.”

“How so?” I asked with a curious smile. He readied his mouth to answer but I could tell he made the decision to change the subject.

“Listen, I’m done rehearsing for the day. I can come over and help with the kids while you cook and run n’ grab your friend.” he offered. I looked at him with so much hope.

“Oh my god would you really?”

“Yeah! I love those kids! I kinda missed 'em since I’ve been gone.”

“So you’re close with my Godfamily then.”

“James and Barbs are good pals of mine. They never mentioned you to me not once.”

“I just moved here a month ago. I guess right before you left-” Just then I was interrupted by my Godmother’s call. “That’s my cue.” I began gathering my plate and ashed out my cigarette, he did the same.

“I’ll come with.” He smiled. For some reason, my stomach lurched and I became really nervous about it. If we were going to work together on the band, I was going to have to get used to it. He hopped up from his spot and offered a hand to me. With ease he pulled me up and grabbed the plate out of my hand to trash it for me as I walked towards the gate. Still, he beat me to it and opened the gate for me, gesturing to the entrance all corny-like. “Ladies first.” he said rather smoothly. I took an exhausted deep breath and brushed by him quickly, not allowing him to see my burning red face. “Howdy, Barbs!” He greeted my Godmother as she rushed to her car but stopped to hug him briefly and hand me JJ. “Hey, slugger.” He poked the baby in his little pudgy tummy and I smiled.

“Hey Sam! I heard you got in last night! We missed ya around here. Been too quiet.” she said opening the door to get in her silver accord.

“I’ll take the compliment.” he chuckled heartily. “So just a heads up, I’m gonna help Talia with the kids while she cooks and runs her errands.”

“That’s sweet- are you sure? I know you just got home.”

“Nah, I’m well rested and ready to get this show on the road. It’s no problem, really.”

With that she sighed. “Well the kids will be happy to see you, that’s for sure.” she quickly checked her watch before turning her attention to me. “Now, I gotta go. They’ve eaten breakfast. Just let ‘em play for a while, give them lunch, put them down for a nap. They should be good to go until James gets home.”

“Got it.” I nodded before she winked at me and smiled at Sam as he closed the car door for her. Sending her off with two heavy pats to the hood of the car.

He followed me into the cool air conditioned house and with a sigh he took off his bold hawaiin shirt and wiped the sweat off his face with it before hanging it on the back of one of the bar stools. As soon as the kids saw him they screamed their heads off swarming him. “AYE! There’s the little princesses!” He shouted, scooping them both up into his big arms. A man with kids was easily one of the most attractive things on the planet and he was really doing it for me. My thoughts were interrupted by a sharp tug on my hair. JJ had grabbed a fistful and tried to eat it.

“Lord, child….” I grunted as I tried to pry my hair out of his strong little baby hands. JJ just giggled at my struggle. “I love you, but you’re a pain!” I said kissing his forehead.

“Are you gonna stay to play, Sammy?” Mariah asked him, sweetly.

“I sure am, sweetheart.” he winked at her and she hugged his neck tighter.

‘Christ, that adorable!’ I thought as I walked over to him to give him JJ.

“Alright kiddies, while I’m doing a bit of cooking, you guys are gonna hang out with ‘Sammy’.” I said, emphasizing his little nickname to tease causing him to dart his eyes my way. I winked at him and backed away into the kitchen. “Have fuuunnn….” I sang as I stalked off. And with the kids outta the way I began to prepare for tonight's shindig. Just when I was getting started, I got a text on my phone from my best friend Anna.

Anna: I’m in the air, should be there in a few hours!

Me: get off the phone! Ur in a fucking aircraft!

Anna: well fine! Be that way bish! <3

Me: see you in a bit! Lol

[marshmallowgoop]

Kill la Kill Books!

Got a small haul of Kill la Kill books the other day!

SUSHIO CLUB LOVE LOVE KLKL has been a glaring omission from my collection, so when I saw a listing of the book for 3,600 yen—which usually goes for 10,000+ these days—I bought it right away.

And I figured I might as well pick up a few more things while I was at it, right? To make the shipping more cost effective?

That’s definitely the only reason.

But anyway, my growing mass of Kill la Kill books and magazines has now reached 36 items.

And I’ve talked about some of this merch before; you can find my post about the Febri volume 21 issue here, my post about Fractal 10 here, my post about the Talking About Composite books, The Complete Script Book, and The Art of KLK Vol. 3 here (and I have a whole tag for the script book, #klk-script-book), and I yammer on about the nine Blu-ray key art collection and artboard books here. I also have several essays discussing the official manga adaptation: 

Kill la Kill Manga Chapter 7

Kill la Kill Manga Volume 3, Chapters 8-17: Thoughts and Impressions

Kill la Kill Manga Volume 3: Translation Notes, Anime Differences

Kill la Kill Manga Volume 3: Worth it?

Manga Differences

And now, I wanna briefly (lol) yap about the six new additions to my collection.

Because I have a lot of love in my heart for this ridiculous, ridiculous anime.

SUSHIO CLUB LOVE LOVE KLKL

So, I got this book for cheap because it was allegedly in poor shape and “not suitable for collection.”

(My reaction to “not suitable for collection” is always, “It’s suitable for my garbage collection! I’ll give your ‘ugly’ copies a loving home!”)

But, like? There are a couple of dents and folded corners, but the condition is really not bad at all. The art is completely intact and beautiful.

Sushio—who is the character designer for Kill la Kill—has shared much of this book on his Twitter, and I would definitely recommend fans of the series to scroll through his photos and have a look. There’s such a cute, sweet charm to Sushio’s work, and along with the polished, colored pages from LOVE LOVE that he shares online, he also shares sketches of his own fanart for the series, too.

(Okay, maybe this isn’t exactly the best demonstration of Sushio’s absolutely precious artwork, but. It’s one of my favorites from the book. Ryuko resorting to such wild extremes to be with Senketsu again is just. My heart. Kill la Kill is actually adorable.)

In any case, I don’t think any of the content in LOVE LOVE was new to me, but there’s just really something about having the book in my hands. I know there’s such a strong desire for digital media these days, but call me old-fashioned—there’s nothing quite like holding this art and really seeing every stroke and line in person.

Being able to physically flip through the pages also makes me notice things I didn’t before. For instance, I found myself charmed by the little detail of Barazo, Mako’s father, loving and adoring Sukuyo, Mako’s mother.

I mean, aw? It’s stuff like this that really makes me wish Kill la Kill were a kids’ show (as Sushio himself seemed to want!) Barazo is so much more likeable when there aren’t any signs of his less-than-pleasant behavior and he’s a loving, supportive husband and father.

Seriously!

Another thing I notice from having the book now is the order in which the pages are organized. Like, I couldn’t help but be amused about how Ryuko gets her own page here...

(Smiling for her Starketsu in the sky, right? Just like he asks her to in “Till I Die”?)

...and then the next pages have Satsuki beside Nonon and Mako (and Mataro) beside Ira...

...which strikes me as a bit funny because this isn’t exactly how Sushio organized his Tweets of these images. There, Satsuki was next to Ryuko, Nonon was next to no one, Mako and Mataro were next to Ira, and Uzu was next to Houka:

So, in LOVE LOVE, is Sushio deliberately trying to say something with the changed placement? Especially when it comes to the direction of the ladies’ eyes? 

Yeah???

I kid, I kid.

(But really, it looks much better to give Ryuko her own page and not have Nonon standing next to nobody.)

Also, one of the first things that popped out to me about LOVE LOVE is how Senketsu’s pages are right next to Ryuko’s pages. As they should be.

They belong together, okay?!

And speaking of Senketsu and Ryuko, I remember a comment years back that said you could probably find pics of your OTP with matching expressions in this book.

But, uh. Just compare Senketsu posing to Ryuko posing...

They’re kind of different types of people, lol.

But hey, they do both make cute sneezy faces.

As a final note about my copy of LOVE LOVE, I will say that my only disappointment is that I received the version with print errors. As such, this page of Nui...

...was accidentally printed twice, and I miss out on this page of Nui as a result:

There are also some minor goofs, like Mako’s arm getting cut off by the background here:

But considering I got this beautiful thing for only 3,600 yen, I really can’t complain!

Now I just need Sushiotan 2 to complete my Sushio Kill la Kill doujin collection....

Takepro

This charming little volume is a collection of animator fanart for the show (and other shows). The book includes a short profile for each featured artist, and their big Kill la Kill pieces are—like all titles in Kill la Kill—named after classic Japanese pop songs. You can read and see more about Takepro here.

It’s hard to pick favorites from this doujin because there is so much adorable and wonderful artwork, but I especially love Naoki Takeda’s “ここに幸あり,” or “Here is My Happiness,” named after the song by Yoshitsu Ootsu.

The picture features Ryuko, Mako, and Satsuki sitting together, all having a good time, and there’s just something so sweet about seeing happy Satsuki.

I also found an English translation of the song’s lyrics, courtesy of beast-senior 810:

The storm breaks and the rain falls Thorny as the women's path might be I would still keep on living with you And my happiness is here in the blue sky 

I could not tell anybody of my scars A bird of love that resided in my chest If only I wander about crying and evading A sorrowful night wind will blow through the streets 

I call out your name from the bottom of my heart Who will be awaiting me at the end of the echoes? Snuggle up to you and cheerfully look up to your face And my happiness is here in the white clouds 

Aw. This song is so Satsuki.

And speaking of Satsuki, I can’t get over how cute she and Ryuko look on the cover of this book. Like??

Aw! 

I also am quite fond of a small piece by Syuichi Iseki, which is in a super-deformed style and features Satsuki comforting Nonon after her uniform is destroyed during the Naturals Election. Nonon cries, and Satsuki pats her head. In the background, Ira looks distressed at the display, Houka seems to be deciphering it, and Mako smiles. It’s really, really cute.

Yoshie Endo’s “僕笑っちゃいます,” or “I’m Laughing,” named for the song by Shingo Kazami, is also real cute. It depicts Mataro holding up Guts, who licks his face. It’s another one of those, “I-so-wish-Kill-la-Kill-were-a-kids’-show” kinda pieces....

Hiroyuki Imaishi’s Doujin

Admittedly, I don’t actually know the title of this one, but it’s a very small doujin by Kill la Kill director Hiroyuki Imaishi. There isn’t too much Kill la Kill content, but there are two pages of Ryuko and Satsuki in their respective Kamui, accompanied by some text.

I thought the text might be something about the show, but it seems like it’s actually about Imaishi’s experience working on the show. And... it’s rather sad? He talks about how he’s able to accomplish more now, but he also has to consider a lot more as well, and he doesn’t have the time and energy that he used to. It’s a lot about aging and growing old.

At least, I think that’s what’s being communicated. Here’s a transcription, though:

なんだろう。

初会社役員とか。

昔よりやれることは増えたが考えなきゃいけないことも増えて時間と体力は足りなくなっていく。

年相応とも言える。

だけどいつまでも大人気なく生きていきたいものだ。

One last interesting thing about this doujin is the material it’s made from; it’s different than any other book in my collection. I’m not an artist, so forgive me if I sound totally ignorant here, but the paper reminds me watercolor paper. It definitely took me by surprise!

SL Sketch 3

SL Sketch 3 is a small fan doujin by Buzin. You can find most of the art in this book on their Tumblr!

Sketch 3 is a really fun collection of sketches, and I especially love the cover. I’m so desperate for art where Senketsu is acknowledged as an actual person that I’m just all heart eyes over Ryuko smiling at him here.

March 2014 Newtype

Okay, so this one’s really a magazine, not a book, but wow. I was taken aback by what’s inside!

I’ll definitely have to look at this issue in more depth because there are a bunch of Kill la Kill goodies in here that I didn’t even expect. And I don’t think most of it has been translated at all!

I also realized that I’ve been mixing up my Newtypes and will have to fix my resources page. But on the bright side, there is so much to love about this issue.

Like, the Elite Four Light Novel got reprinted in the Kamui Bansho, but it’s way better here because it has pictures!

I also love how Nonon, out of all the Elite Four, is the only one who stands beside Satsuki in these illustrations.

And I don’t even know what this is (VR or something with Ami Koshimizu, Ryuko’s VA?), but it’s cute and got me smiling:

And Ryo Akizuki, the mangaka for the official Kill la Kill manga, made a small comic about his experience working on the project. I like the little title panel with Ryuko, Senketsu, and Mako a lot:

Plus, there’s a shiny ad for the manga’s second volume, too:

One of the things that most caught my interest, though, is an article about the second opening song for Kill la Kill, GARNiDELiA’s “ambiguous”:

I got so curious about this bit because I’ve heard varying, conflicting information regarding the meaning behind the song’s lyrics. On the one hand, I’ve heard that half of the song is from Ryuko to Senketsu, and the other half is from Satsuki to Ryuko. On the other hand, I’ve heard that the whole song is from Satsuki to Ryuko. But I’ve never found any concrete sources for either of these claims!

So, I was hoping the Newtype article would help, but it’ll take a lot more digging into. Still, briefly looking over the page, I did find this bit: 

そんな私の思いと歌詞が一致しました。 『キルラキル』でいう流子ちゃんと神衣・鮮血の関係に近いかもしれませんね。 

Roughly, it says, “As such, my thoughts about the song agreed with its lyrics. You might say it’s like the relationship between Ryuko and Kamui Senketsu in Kill la Kill.”

I’m not totally sure about the context here—and I admittedly don’t even know the author’s involvement in the making of "ambiguous”—but this article might explain where the Ryuko-and-Senketsu reading of the song came from. It’s definitely something I’d like to delve into more.

Because I really love the Ryuko-and-Senketsu reading of the song, okay, and I’d love some actually official backup for it!

Finally, another favorite part of the Newtype is simply all the art. Takafumi Hori’s spread is particularly great:

(You can find a cleaner image here.)

Just... dang. I wish I got a little poster of this instead of the ones actually included in the Newtype! The artwork is just stunning.

And one of the cutest things about the Newtype is all the fanart from its readers! I particularly love the little Valentine’s Day special; there’s an illustration of Ryuko giving Senketsu chocolate, and there’s also a Ryumako piece, too!

Kill la Kill Storyboard Ep. 01

Finally, one of my favorites from this haul is the Kill la Kill Storyboard Ep. 01. The book was included as a shop bonus for the original Japanese Blu-ray/DVD release, though I was able to win it by itself in an auction. I do think I overpaid a bit, but gosh, it’s a lovely addition to my collection. It’s just really neat to see the production process of an anime in action. I wish there were storyboard books for every episode in the show!

Hiroyuki Imaishi’s storyboards are also just super amusing. Here is a small sampling of some of my faves (because there is so much gold in here, my goodness):

And that’s all for now!

...I guess this really wasn’t so brief at all, huh?

Shocker.