#also Asmodeus in this game is shit and needs to fly away

[blacksheepoftheclass]

The only demons I like in WHB are them . They are just so fucking adorable.

[astaroth1357]

Demons in the Dark 

What if they have glow-in-the-dark eyes?

Contents: No warnings aside vague mentions of imminent danger. And bugs and snakes.

~♡♡♡~

Lucifer

Seeing Lucifer in a dark room is incredibly unsettling. You know those horror movies where the protagonist sees a pair of demonic eyes from shadows? You've found the inspiration.

His eyes burn with the color and intensity of molten glass and they that just loom ominously in the darkness, usually well above people's heads!

Lucifer knows exactly how haunting his eyes can look, which is why he prefers to sneak up on Mammon when it's dark and he's up to no good… 

The mental image of Lucifer's crimson eyes have long since burned their way into the secondborn's nightmares...

He tries his best not to scare MC with them, but it's undeniably unnerving to see disks of pure hellfire roaming around the kitchen looking for a glass of water…

Mammon

His eyes glow just the prettiest shade of gold you'll ever see. Think of a mound of ancient coins glinting away under a treasure hunter's torchlight.

Mammon knows full well how attention grabbing his eyes are, which is part of why he always wears sunglasses when out stealing. People can't see'em glow if they're all tinted up behind his frames!!

He's also pretty proud that his eyes don't give people nightmares like Lucifer's, but since they glow like little sundrops when he's out, moths fly into his face… a lot…

He is far too embarrassed to admit to MC that he also wears his sunglasses outside for bug protection, so he makes up some shit about it being part of "Devildom-style" they just wouldn't understand.

Sometimes, the MC swears that if they look close, his pupils look like Grimm signs. But has to be a trick of the light… Right?

Leviathan 

Levi's eyes glow a citrine orange but weirdly, his pupils actually slit instead of dilate in the dark.

Though he will never admit it, but he actually has pretty bad night vision in his normal form. (Which isn't that surprising given all of screens he stares at.)

It's a little comical watching Levi stumble around in the dark if he needs to go grab something. The MC can just follow his eyes as he smacks into a lot of walls…

His demon form can kind of make up for it, but only so much. If things get too dark, Levi can change into it so he can see his surroundings with the help of UV light.

"Snake Vision" makes the dark more manageable, but it's not very good for gaming at all so he rarely thinks to use it. Everybody knows that past a certain brightness in the room, don't expect Levi to be of much help.

Satan

Magically enchanted his eyes to look exactly like a green-eyed cat's in the dark. I'm dead serious.

Imagine just going about your business then two grown man-sized feline eyes pop out from behind a corner. They even have nocturnal eyeshine so feels like you're being hunted!

Sometimes he can't help himself and he'll sneak up on people with his eyes closed so he can open them over their shoulders or peeking around corners.

He has given the whole House about as many heart attacks as Lucifer has pulling those shenanigans, I swear…

Belphie is the only one generally unaffected and he always gets a big laugh from when Satan scares the others. The youngest boys just be like that, unfortunately...

Asmodeus 

His eyes look like a kaleidoscope in low light. Every slight tilt of his head makes them reflect a whole new wave of fractals and colors.

Asmo is just as aware as Mammon that his eyes are gorgeous, but unlike Mammon he wouldn't DARE cover them up!! Sunglasses are for sunny days, which they don't ever get down in Hell.

Asmo's eyes are integral to his charm spells, so he takes extra care to be sure that they are as healthy and bright as they can be! He won't even accept eyebags.

Seeing Asmo's eyes in the dark kind of like seeing a trippy optical illusion just... staring at you. It's less unnerving than the others but it's equally hard to ignore.

To this day, he brags that it was his eyes that caught Solomon's attention when they first met. (Solomon actually wanted to pluck them out to use as potion ingredients, but he'll let that stay a secret.)

Beelzebub

Beel's eyes are probably the most normal of all of the family unless you look at them suuuper closely.

In his normal form, his eyes will just glow a nice shade of purple with nothing fancy happening. But in his demon form, they get that glassy, compounded film akin to insects with his iris still trapped and moving around under the surface.

Thankfully, they do not bulge out of his skull. They even give him the ability to see and track objects in fast motion, which does wonders for his reaction time.

... Somewhat unfortunately, though, his line of sight is more narrow than an inscets so it can look like he's trying to look everywhere all at once to compensate. His eyes will constantly dart around the room as if he is trying to follow the flight pattern of a coked out fly.

At least he mostly only uses this during fights or sporting events where they really come in handy. Honestly, if there's anything more jarring than red eyes, it's stumbling across bug-eyes that they can practically see right through you.

Belphegor 

Belphie's eyes glow purple, but they don't shine nearly as brightly as his brothers'. In fact, they have a steady, calming pulse when stared at which is very unnerving.

Total darkness is really when Belphie gives off his best "sleep paralysis demon" vibes. His eyes are really relaxing to look at, but only in the same way that the little light on an angler fish would be enticing to its prey. It's a trap, don't fall for it.

Belphie CAN put people to sleep this way, but he hates doing it because it means he has to somehow not blink for ages. He really has to be motivated to want to see someone zonked out.

For a couple centuries, Mammon would send Belphie to talk to Lucifer if he was working too late in order to (compassionately) knock their brother out so he could get some rest.

Lucifer's since gotten wise to this trick, but sometimes if he's really been going too long he will forget until he wakes up on the nearest couch post Belphie "convincing" him to take a nap.

[obeymeluv]

Isnt devildom liquor weaker than human world liquor? Mc had beat Asmo in a drinking contest. How do you think it they'd act, completely hammered in the human world. I think harder liquor means stupider drunks.

Spoiler alert to the in-game MC’s “heritage” reveal. You know, the descendent/reincarnation thing. If you know, you know.

Below: Thoughts on Devildom liquor + the specific incident Nonnie is talking about with Asmo in game + THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE ASK. My bad, haha.

My thoughts on Devildom liquor at that point in the game:

The MC is not as affected because they are human/angel. Maybe the angel part fortifies MC and makes it harder for them to get drunk?

Maybe the HUMAN side of MC is what makes it harder for them to get drunk on Devildom liquor? Like...everything in the Devildom is made primarily for demons so maybe there are ingredients in there that specifically affect those with demon blood. Maybe humans don’t have the biology to be inebriated by those ingredients?

I am a little fuzzy on that point in the game but did Asmo pre-game? Like, a lot? Did we ever find out? I could see him being so emotionally distraught that his lovely MC is leaving that he just wants to be sloshed. Maybe he assumed MC beat him in a drinking contest because he forgot how much he already drank?

Maybe Solomon gave MC a heads up that Asmo was down for drinking and gave them a pre-game potion of their own to ward off the affects.

End hypothesis: Maybe Devildom liquor IS strong (for demons) but that potency just can’t translate in human bodies so the bros (Lucifer especially) don’t want MC drinking it because they’re not sure what it will do. They just ASSUME it will do to MC what it does to them.

Other thoughts: Because demons sprinkled little secrets to the humans over the course of history, gave them trinkets and magic and things, I’d like to think they gave humans the idea or process of alcohol-making but are TOTALLY not prepared for the end result. All the flavors, types, etc. 

As far as I understand it (at the point I’m at in the game), travel between the Devildom and human world was widely discouraged until Diavolo could make a program that united the three realms and improved the overall image. So basically everyone has been separated for thousands of years.

What if demons are equally bad at holding human world liquor? I could just see a drunk Asmo being like, “What is this? Sangria? This isn’t what I told them to call it.” as he’s trying to drink and (speed) walk away from Beel, who wants the fruit out of the pitcher.

I could just see them all getting TOTALLY wasted on human world stuff just because they thought “Ahh, we taught them this 5,000 years ago! Of COURSE we can handle it! We invented it!” (spoiler alert: they cannot). Like, I’d like to think their biology works against them here. They heal quicker and probably get over stomach aches and things quicker, so they probably metabolize alcohol quicker to restore bodily equilibrium so they probably get flash-drunk off of just about anything with a decent alcohol content. 

HOW THEY WOULD ACT (AKA: the real question)

The facts: 

They’re all going to be like drunk kittens, big bassy purrs and wanting to cuddle you or scent you. 

They’ll basically curl up in a pile together; you occasionally have to move body parts (so no one suffocates). 

Do a head count every now and then, give them some crackers/carbs when needed, and put water all around them like a summoning circle because when one of them wakes up, all of them will and they’ll act like big babies

Put a bucket near Lucifer and Asmo, they’re sympathy pukers.

Levi and Belphie need total sensory deprivation when they wake up. You may only breach the darkness to bring them things to settle their stomach and anything to kill the headache

Just give Beel bread and anything like Gatorade/Pedialite. He’ll help you with the others after three loaves or so.

Asmo will be especially pitiful and demand you take care of the others first. Once they’re decently able to take care of themselves he’s near teary-eyed, demanding tummy rubs and tell him he’s still pretty even though he feels awful. Please get him a sheet mask.

Mammon’s not functional enough to help with anything major but he’s standing the next day so he rubs that in everyone’s face. He’s the one shuffling around with a half-eaten sandwich, looking for any comfort item (heating pack, cold wrap for his head). He will demon screech at you if you touch any of the lights in the house.

As Mammon comes to, he demands dim lights and acts like a grumpy mom. He’s making porridge and they better shut up and eat it. Says it’s for him but there’s a suspicious amount of bowls nearby.

Satan just swears he’ll never drink again (like always). Dutifully waits for porridge. Spends most of his time letting cold water run over his head. Can’t spend too much time hunched over because he gets nauseous. Baby him a little. Find a way to let his head float in a bit of water where he can lay down and he’s as quiet as a mouse. 

Who can drink the most? (Best to worst - my opinions only)

1) Beel (body mass helps), 2) Mammon (party king), 3) Asmodeus (huuuge history with mixed drinks. Boy is READY), 4) Lucifer, 5) Satan (neck and neck with Lucifer - casual drinker only. Even wine is rare for him), 6) Leviathan, 7) Belphie (usually sleeping instead of drinking). 

Lucifer:

We’ve seen little gags about how ‘Lucifer got drunk and unplugged the router’ so this guy’s either going to be super cuddly, a hot mess, or both

You know the people who fluff their hair, comb it back, undo a tie or some buttons and just get comfy as they drink? That’s Lucifer.

He’ll smile a bit more, laugh a bit more, and there will be some color to his cheeks

He’s not sloppy, just cozy. 

Drunk Lucifer is not overly loud but he is honest. He won’t throw himself into groups or pester all the brothers, but he’s up for some accidentally-heartwarming one-on-one

When he’s drunk he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and let you play with his hair

Will not win any drinking games. Is actually a lightweight compared to his brothers (see best > worst drinker, above).

Mammon:

GO BIG OR GO HOME! MAMMON’S HERE TO PLAY FOR BIG MONEY! (AKA: bragging rights that he can handle more than his brothers)

He and Asmo are quick to get the drinks flowing because they want to try shots of everything. 

He and Asmo are pretty good at matching brothers to drinks and tasting subtle notes, things like that

Show Mammon beer pong once and it’s done. He’s betting the brothers he can whoop them and is somehow able to pull off ping pong ball math to get Lucifer shit-faced real quick (might do it even faster if Belphie or Satan slip him some money)

The type to be like “Bet you I can hit that cup right there--third row, second from the left.” and can do it flawlessly. You have to give him head pats or $5, that’s the rules.

He’ll be one of the bros you have to chase around and make put his clothes back on. Boy will try to strip and strut

Will definitely hoard his favorite bottle (picked it on smell) and spend a majority of the time trying to drink it and avoid the bros. (”YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SHARE IF YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!”)

Leviathan

Not the best drinker. Not a frequent drinker at all.

His envy makes him drink because as he starts to go on a tangent about how ‘it’s not fair! Everyone’s having a good time!’ when he realizes it’s as easy as picking up a drink. Like...he can join in too.

Levi won’t grab himself an alcoholic drink because he’s a nervous over-thinker. Asmo or Mammon will just hand him a cup like the resident Liquor Fairy and he trusts their judgement

The first one to let his demon form out just because the liquor is a little warm in his belly and he feels like he’s flying? Also comfortable?

The excited drunk who goes on animated, slurred rants

The loud laugher

He’s honestly so adorably animated that anyone who knew him would be surprised? He seems far from a shut in

Trade off: he can’t hold his liquor well

Boy probably trips on his own tail or thinks something snagged his ankle to bring him down when, in fact, he just fell down

Sways when he sits

When he’s done, he just wants a nice comfy lap to lay in and maybe play with his hair. 

Like Lucifer, liquor will make him confess all his feelings. 

Watch out for the tail. It will be all over you when he starts to lose the ability to wrap it around himself.

Satan:

It’s a toss-up as to whether he gets drunk before Lucifer or vice versa. I’d like to think his tolerance is slightly higher since he might run in the same circles as Asmo, but he is a part of Lucifer so I’m sure it balances out

He’s a drink snob and this is what hurts him the most. He goes to fancy tastings and random things he’s invited to, but this is a drop in the bucket

He’s never gone hardcore before because he’s afraid he’ll be prone to anger

He’s not. He’s actually a lot like Levi. He just wants to smile and laugh and have fun.

The one who knows a lot of random/interesting stuff and has unexpectedly awesome party tricks

He and Asmo act as instigators and somehow con everyone else into getting drunk. It’s mostly because he wants blackmail material, but he enjoys the mind games

He’s the one you’re going to have to carry BUT he’s super chill when he’s having a good time. You want him to wear a lampshade? Okay, but only if you call him Enlightened One (get it?)

Makes bad jokes. Lucifer definitely laughs

The one that randomly dances with someone at the party. But it’s a fancy dance or slow dance, not something crazy

Will try to prove he’s not as drunk as he is by reading or reciting something and just breaks down into snorts and giggles

Cat Mode: Activated. He wants to be all over you. Hug him and play with his hair, please.

Asmo:

Asmo isn’t really different from his usual self.

He’s a little social butterfly, making his rounds and checking on people

He’s the silent, sneaky drunk. No one notices he’s drunk until his face starts getting red and his eyes get glassy

The quiet cuddler. Just progressively gets closer to you until he’s resting his head on your shoulder, hugging you from the side and asking you to give him his drink.

Would be the happiest person on the planet if you literally just held his drink up to his lips and let him drink it when he wanted to. You just love him so much?! You’re so thoughtful?! He wants to cry

Guilty party #2 for ‘chase him around and make him put his clothes back on’

Next in line for ‘Liquor makes me tell the truth and my darkest secrets’.

Will try any activity at the party and will dance at least once with everybody

If he gets in a fight, that’s because someone doesn’t respect what he put on the party playlist. He knows good music, okay?!

Has a personal goal to steal one drink from everyone, drink it before they realize, and hand them back the empty cup as he slips away. Something about it just amuses him.

Wants to leave lipstick/lip gloss kisses on people. Thinks they’re the cutest accessory!

The one who loses something at the party and makes everyone look for it the next day

The one who’s passed out in a random spot and no one has the heart to move them but everyone checks on them to make sure they’re safe. When everyone’s turned in for the night, he is safely moved like the precious baby he is.

Beel:

The one who takes the longest to get drunk. You don’t know if it’s because of his build or how much he ate to offset the alcohol

Unofficial baby sitter of the group. Pays special attention to everyone but Belphie, Asmo, and Levi in particular.

Not super loud. Just vibes and enjoys time with his family.

He’ll participate in the party activities because he does have that competitive streak but he’s not as invested in it as Mammon. If he wins at least once he’s proved his point and is on to something else

Surprsingly, #3 to ‘you might have to chase him and make him put his clothes on’. Drunk Beel is convinced he’ll get over the alcohol faster with less clothes because of temperature regulation and something that doesn’t really make sense because he’s slurring

Will drink more if Belphie is nearby or if he can hold onto Belphie. Taking care of Belphie and knowing he’s okay (in a tactile way) makes him a little more carefree. 

Doesn’t really confess like the other bros but he’s the one no one can really hear talking because his purr takes over everything. His purrs are so loud and deep! Big boy is truly happy

Drunk Beel is affectionate as ever and this is where you learn that demons can express affection by licking people. Most of the bros end up with a Simba-style mohawk. It’s just one lick but Beel’s got a long tongue and it fucks with hair real good.

Will jump in for a song or two if karaoke is a thing at the party. A really good singer but wouldn’t do it unless he had a decent amount of alcohol in him.

He’s the type to trip over stuff trying to help clean up. If he falls down he says he’s just ‘taking a break’ and will ‘help in a minute’. Might not get up again.

Once Beel lays down, Belphie, Satan, and Levi drunk crawl/stumble/slither over to him for warmth. This is how the cuddle pile starts.

When he lays down, if you get anywhere near him, he’s begging you to lay down with him. Wants to whisper little compliments and lovely things. A big sap. Handsy but will definitely know when to lay off and will listen if you get uncomfortable. 

Belphie:

Honestly, doesn’t really drink. He’s more interested in the nap.

His biggest motivation is to get the others drunk so everyone’s quiet and he can sleep. Definitely wants Lucifer blackmail.

He’ll have a few things but he prefers a lot of something mild versus a mix or a few shots of something super potent

Will try the funnel drink challenge.

The third enticer. He wants to work everyone up (Lucifer especially) and get the booze going.

Borrows off of Beel’s body mass and ability to handle alcohol here and there, but it all catches up with him eventually

The type to have really diluted drinks because he’s already sleepy by nature and doesn’t want to faceplant with a shot glass.

Will slow dance with Asmo. When Asmo starts to struggle with his weight as Belphie gets cozy and sleepy, Beel steps in and you just see the twins purring and warbling to each other as Beel just scoops him up and lets him sit on his hip like a toddler.

Another one who wants to slither into your lap and take all your attention.

The type to do random shit like boop your nose and giggle about it.

The one who doesn’t want anyone else to touch you. If he’s laying on you then the others need to leave you alone. It’s not hard to understand!

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play Ticket To Ride

Guess who just had a family game night and decided this would be a good idea? Meeeeee!

Last Minute Road/Track Buyer (Lucifer)

This smug son of a bitch doesn’t even complete his trip cards. He just amasses a massive deck of cards and then buys all of the five and six roads, effectively messing up everyone’s strategies.

Luci would have a good poker face if it weren’t for how giddy he gets when he sees the hope drain from his opponents faces as he takes the coveted fifteen point six road.

His main colour is black because he’s an emo bitch.

Lucifer can and Lucifer will take that two road you need to connect your trains, thus ruining everyone’s lives.

He basks in the chaos and rage like a god before Beel tells him that he’s eaten all the game night chips.

He’ll win sometimes, but his lack of trip cards will often be his downfall. Lucifer is just here to fuck everyone over.

FUCK YOU! DON’T YOU DARE TAKE THAT CARD- (Mammon)

Mammon’s greedy little heart sank when he heard that Monopoly had been passed over for family game night, but he caught onto the rules of Ticket to Ride very quickly.

Being the gambler he is, Mammon’s poker face is completely god-tier… except when he has all the cards needed to make his road or someone else takes the cards he needs.

Levi is often the main culprit and fights have started over this.

He argues with the rules a lot if he thinks they’re stupid, this gives Satan a migraine.

Mammon doesn’t save his cards, the moment he has all the ones he needs, he’s buying his road, which is good at the beginning, but often leads to him ending up with no cards by the end.

He is SO insufferable when he wins, please beat him so we don’t have to hear him gloat like an asshole.

Rule-Whore (Leviathan)

“That’s against the rules!” “You can’t have more than three wild cards in the draw pile!” “You need to take three trip cards!”

…so annoying…

Levi is such a rule whore he’ll try and take the instructions from Satan, which will usually result in Levi getting socked in the jaw.

He mains blue because obviously.

Levi tends to plan out his route ahead of time, but he makes it too obvious and his roads end up getting sniped, thus rendering all the cards he had amassed completely useless.

He gets super iffy about his trains being in perfect formation both on and off the board.

Beat his ass for being annoying.

Ha! I’ve Planned for This- Aw Fuck…(Satan)

You fool, you stupid human, Satan had planned out his route ten years before the first turn even happened!

All he has to do now is- DID LUCIFER JUST SNIPE HIS FUCKING ROAD?!

…he’s cool, he’s calm. He can work around this. Satan just has to get the cards he needs- SON OF A BITCH MAMMON WHY’D YOU TAKE BOTH THE ORANGES?!

Worried about your asshole fellow players not giving you your points? Fret not, Satan has everyone’s points memorized and will adjust accordingly. He’s winning this fair and square.

Satan manages to win pretty frequently solely because he picks up so many trip cards and completes a good chunk of them.

Satan mains green because I said so.

Annoying Spectator (Asmodeus)

For the love of God Asmo, you aren’t even playing! Shut up and go away!

He leans over people’s shoulders and criticizes their choices like the world’s most annoying guardian angel… or demon.

“Pick up red.” “Asmo, piss off.” “I’m just trying to help, Belphie! Look, Mammon’s gone and taken your road!” “I DIDN’T EVEN NEED THAT ONE!”

When Asmo does play, he doesn’t play well at all, he just has the worst luck with cards and has the worst poker face.

If someone just took a card that Asmo needed, they are going to get glared at from across the table.

Almost never wins, but when he does, he’s INSUFFERABLE.

“It’s so nice to have the family together :)” (Beel)

Sweet man is just happy everyone’s together, he’s also happy about the multiple party size bags of chips that are on the table.

Beel builds his roads from point A to point B, no fancy skipping or strategies. This often serves him quite well because he can just shift where he’s going on the fly.

Though, he does get confused on where some of the locations are, he’ll end up accidentally cheating and looking at people’s cards when he leans over to see the whole board to try and find out where TF he’s going.

He tries to complete every trip card he has, and he mostly succeeds at that, buuuuut he never thinks to pick up more, which is his downfall.

He mains red, because Duh.

Overall, Beel’s a surprisingly formidable opponent, his resting bitch face serves him well.

“*Snrk* H-huh? What the fuck… what’d I knock over? Where am I? Whose turn is it?” (Belphie)

This little shit- THIS LITTLE BASTARD FUCKS EVERYTHING UP. He falls asleep and when anyone wakes him up for his turn, he “accidentally” knocks everyone’s trains off the board.

He’s doing terribly. Don’t help him.

Belphie loses motivation the moment someone ruins his carefully formulated plan, and making a new one’s too much work so… *snore*

He takes what he can get with the trip cards, he’ll complete the smaller ones and kind of eyeball the big ones and make it up as he goes along if everything goes to shit.

If Belphie gets bored, he’ll purposefully break the rules just to piss of Levi and Satan. He’s a little goblin…

Belphie wins when he puts the work in… which is never.

…Wait what? (Diavolo)

Diavolo is literally the worst at this game at first. He’s picking up two wild cards when he’s not supposed to, he’s buying roads when it’s not his turn, he somehow messed up the points, ugh…

He gets really confused about the rules, he’ll often interrupt people mid-turn to ask a question that spirals into a long explanation.

But when he finally understands the game… May the demon king have mercy on your souls…

He goes from zero to hero and crushes everyone without fail.

It doesn’t matter if he had shitty luck in the beginning because he’s come back to completely ruin your entire route.

Oh, Solomon needed that road? Too bad. It belongs to Diavolo now. Give him his fucking points.

Peace between the realms can wait, he’s got noobs to pwn.

The Wise Mentor (Barbatos)

Barbatos can see the future, he’s cheating by default.

When he sort of… turns off his powers, people still think he’s cheating because he’s just that good at guessing where people need to go and crushing their hopes and dreams.

Except for Luke. Barbatos is teaching him how to be as brutal a player as he is. He will not crush Luke.

As good a player as Barbatos is, one bad trip card will crush his entire strategy. This may be the one time you hear him swear.

It’s a very quiet “son of a bitch..”

Cheater. Asshole. Fight instigator. (Solomon)

Okay who the fuck invited this guy?

Better question, who the fuck let him be in charge of the cards?

Solomon cheats and lies about it, all with a smile on his face. Think you caught him? No you didn’t.

He peeks at cards before he grabs them, gives people the worst possible ones for what they’re doing, AND he gets potato chip grease all over the cards!

When he’s no my allowed to cheat, Solomon’s only half decent at the game overall. Luck is usually on his side, but sometimes luck isn’t enough.

0/10 kick his shifty ass out.

“No, stop,” *Pulls out popcorn* “Don’t fight, oh no.” (Simeon)

Fucking Simeon… he sits back and watches the fight even though he knows he can stop it.

When he’s playing the actual game, he’s pretty average, but when he gets on a roll, oh boy…

He doesn’t snipe roads on purpose, but he’s gotta get where he’s going. Sorry not sorry, may the good lord bless your loser ass.

Sexy shoulder-man’s poker face isn’t anything special, it’s 5/7 overall.

Simeon’s fatal flaw is that he picks up cards only when he needs them, he doesn’t plan ahead, so it’s super easy to swipe the cards he needs before his turn.

He is nice enough to move everyone’s points for them^.^ so he’s better than the rest of those dirty sinners.

“NO PLEASE I NEED THAT ROAD-” (Luke)

So you know how everyone is an awful person? This is proven whenever the gang plays Ticket to Ride with Luke.

Luke demands/begs that no one takes the roads he needs and almost no one listens.

It’s heartbreaking to watch please give the little angel a hug.

But listen, listen, after a bit, Luke gets scary good at the game and very close to winning. His little victory dance is so fucking cute 10/10.

But oh my… it appears that Luke has one tiny road he needs to connect his trains… it would be a shame if Lucifer just… took that.

Luke gets petty, he just puts his hand over the spot and refuses to move it. This goes on for like five minutes until Levi brings up that it’s not even Lucifer’s turn.

Gasp! Hope! It’s Solomon’s turn- HE TOOK THE FUCKING ROAD.

…betrayal.

Luke’s moving out. He can’t go back to Purgatory Hall. He’s going to become the little Victorian street urchin he was destined to become. He is packing his little rucksack and fleeing from this household.

————

I love family game nights… all of you should get together with your family and your squad and break out some board games. Just not Monopoly. Anything but Monopoly…

[oh-boy-me]

How would the brothers, diavolo and Solomon. (I'm so sorry if that's too much you don't have to do all of them I'm just curious) react with MC who is super clumsy and is always getting hurt on accident? Thank you so much. ❤️❤️

More characters will take a little bit longer to get out, but no character count is too many!  I hope you like this ^^

Lucifer:

It is Lucifer’s job to make sure they survive this year, and MC keeps tripping and falling which is NOT how one survives.  If he hadn’t caught them on Monday, they would have fallen down the stairs.  If he hadn’t caught them on Tuesday, they would have run face first into a door!  It’s only Wednesday and Lucifer can’t get any sleep, thinking that every creak in the floorboards is MC on their way to some unknown danger.

One of Diavolo’s prized exchange students poking their eye out on the dining room table is a big no no, so he essentially gives MC an ultimatum.  Either they be more careful, or he will baby-proof the entire House of Lamentation.

If they drop and break things often he may just bar them from ever entering his study.

With all that said, he cares more about MC’s condition than his house’s condition, so he always makes sure they’re ok before lecturing them on paying attention to their surroundings.

Mammon:

The first three days of MC’s time in the Devildom?  Couldn’t care less; a sinkhole could swallow them up in front of him and it wouldn’t be any lost sleep on his part.  What was a bruised elbow?

The other 362 days?  You’d think HE was the one that got hurt with how he gets over it.  The whole House of Lamentation knows when MC has gone and done something clumsy, because Mammon’s “oh shit!” rings clearly through the hallways.

Asks if they’re ok for far longer than is necessary.  If he doesn’t believe them when they insist they’re fine, he quizzes them on how many fingers he’s holding up.  Even if it was a papercut.

He’s shit at patching someone up, but he still insists on doing it himself.

Ironically, for panicking the most he does the least to prevent MC from hurting themself.

Over time he’ll probably learn to mellow out and recognize when MC is actually hurt and when they’re just bumped.  Probably.

Leviathan:

lmao n00b

Leviathan’s first instinct is to laugh, which he feels super bad about, but ROFLMAO this normie can’t even walk straight IRL without tripping and falling.

After that he does make sure they’re ok, and that they don’t need any ice or bandages or anything.  If they aren’t ok, he panics a bit and gets another brother to help them out, most likely Lucifer or Asmo.  Over time, he may be able to handle it himself, but for now that was real human blood okay?!  He wasn’t ready for that, he felt faint.

Honestly he’s probably the chillest demon about it; he’s clumsy himself, especially when he gets distracted.

Eventually he gets so used to their lack of coordination that when they leave his room he calls out the objects on his floor for them to avoid, finishing off with “door!”  He doesn’t have to look up from his game to do this.

Satan:

Satan tries to warn MC when they’re about to bump into something, but he always seems to be a bit too late.

He went on WebMD once and now he’s convinced that every single time MC hits their head they have a concussion.  He also read that they’re not uncommon and not deadly (for the most part) so he also doesn’t really… do anything about it?  He just kind of sits in silent anxiety.

Whenever he invites MC out, he does his best to stay alert so he can avert any disasters.  Books falling off shelves?  MC falling off book ladders?  Satan’s there to catch them.  Cooking together?  Why don’t they let him handle the cutting?

With practice, he gets very good at catching them right before they trip.  He always, always makes the “falling for me” joke.  Unless they were about to go down the stairs.  Then he yells at them.  Don’t scare him like that, goodness.

Asmodeus:

Asmodeus doesn’t really mind how clumsy MC can be--he thinks their lack of coordination is endearing.

However, that doesn’t mean that precautions can’t be taken!  If MC includes makeup in their daily routine, they are now banned from doing it themselves.  What if they drop the bottle and waste its contents?  This is absolutely just an excuse to play makeup artist, and he’ll only try to deny it once.

Bumping into things gives humans bruises REALLY fast, which is NOT the look we are going for, thank you very much.  Whenever MC runs into something, he laments the eventual discolored spot in what may as well be a eulogy for their skin with how dramatic he gets.

If MC actually got considerably hurt, though, the drama would fly out the window.  Asmo would get them properly patched up right away, without a single word coming out of his mouth.

Later on he will dramatically complain that they nearly died on him, though.

Beelzebub:

Beelzebub is an interesting case, because while he does get concerned about them when they get hurt, he also can tell that it’s nothing major.  As an athlete, he knows how to identify signs of an actual serious injury.

His answer to basically every injury is ice, so his precautions mainly consist of making sure the freezer's ice machine is stocked and working.

He has a very bad habit of poking the spot that got hurt, and his “sorry” afterwards is enough to break even the stoniest of hearts.  He’s very afraid that he’s more dangerous to them than the kitchen counter ever could be, so MC will have to reassure him that his soft poke didn’t shatter their arm.

Beel recommends that MC does some core exercises with him, since a strong core is good for coordination.  He also reminds them to not multitask too much and get some sleep.  Essentially he’s the only one here with actual solutions.

Belphegor:

Belphie outwardly complains about how clumsy they are and how inconvenient it is, while internally worried sick about whether or not they’re alright.

For some reason he doesn’t even hide his worry when MC bumps into something.  MC hurt themself with a sharp object?  Be more careful next time, stupid.  MC trips and sprains their ankle?  Geez, if they hadn’t been going so fast, this wouldn’t have happened.  MC bumps into a dresser?  Oh shit are they ok???

He’s also frustrated about the fact that they’re most likely getting hurt when he’s not there, since he’s so often asleep, and so many of his hangout ideas equate to taking naps.  Like hell is he trusting his brothers to keep MC from banging into every hard surface.

If they roll out of bed, the thud may give him a heart attack right then and there.

This may be one of the few things that he has more anxiety than Beel over.

Diavolo:

The first time they trip, Diavolo nearly has someone call an ambulance, even though demons are very capable of tripping as well.  MC is human, though, and his gauge of human fragility is essentially just a guess at that point.

Well, it turns out that humans literally Do Not Care™ about most injuries, which is first of all a huge relief and second of all SO fascinating??  They’re made of glass when compared to a demon, but they get back on their feet as fast as possible.  You go, you funky humans.

At the same time, Diavolo has a hard time practicing what he preaches; while he celebrates this newfound discovery that his exchange program brought about, he still freaks out whenever MC says “ow.”

When it does happen, he kind of just freezes up so it’s not like he was being of much help even if a stubbed toe could kill a human.

Lucifer threatened to baby-proof the House of Lamentation, but Diavolo really might go through with baby-proofing the student council room.  At least he doesn’t try to involve the hospital anymore.

Solomon:

Solomon is a human too, so he knows that MC is just a klutz and not in much real danger.

He knows that anything MC is holding is in more danger than MC themself most of the time, and he knows that all MC really needs to get back on their feet is a quick “you good down there?” and a hand to help them up.

That said, he’s very protective of his own stuff while MC is around.  If something actually does happen to it it’s no hard feelings, but until then he does his best to keep them far away from anything breakable or dangerous.

And of course if it was more than a bump, as a fellow human he’s got that covered too.

Like Asmo, at the end of the day he thinks it’s kind of cute.

He’s not really sure why the others so often volunteer MC to carry his dishes out of the kitchen when he cooks?  They know MC has a high chance of dropping things.  It’s almost like they don’t want to eat what he makes, but that couldn’t be true, right?

Masterlist

[elai-okonma]

Chapter 12: Now That You Have Me; What Game Do You Wanna Play Next?

IT’S BEEN SO LONG! I’ve been busy with school, but I didn’t forget about all my lovelies! @obeymekookie here is the newest chapter, hun <3

Warnings: torture, sexual scenarios, etc. 

Word count: 1,574

Devildom

  “Satan, we’re so happy to see you! But…we need to tell you something.”

Satan looks between his brothers, and then over to Diavolo. He could tell by the stern look on his face, that it was serious. He proceeds with caution:

  “Ok....”

Lucifer steps up to his brother and proceeds to tell him what they witnessed, and what it could possibly mean for the Devildom. 

  “I know you don’t have experience with war and I’m fully prepared to teach you what there is to know about it, but we still don’t know if there is a war or if it will involve us, yet.” 

  Satan ponders his brother’s words. He was born after the Celestial War, so obviously he wasn’t involved in that, but he has read about it and many other human wars. He couldn’t really believe what he was hearing, MC had just passed away only a month ago, and now there might be another Celestial War?? It was just a little too much.  

  “I was born from war...So I would rather not get involved, but if it comes down to it I will fight alongside my brothers. And you, Lord Diavolo.”

  Now it was time to formulate a plan. You couldn’t be too careful when strategizing for war and Diavolo knew that the sooner they were all prepared, the better. 

  “We need to get back to the Devildom, I still have matters to attend to, and I need to prepare a plan for the rest of the citizens.”

  The Demon Lord makes haste and quickly leaves, with Barbatos right behind him. With Lucifer and the rest of the brothers still at MC’s house, they take a moment of silence for her before also returning back. It hurt too much to linger there, and they didn’t know how Satan had been doing it. 

___________________________________

Celestial Realm

 “ ...when I’m done with you, you’ll have forgotten all about my Fallen brothers.”

  As soon as Gabriel finishes those words, he smashes his lips into yours. It's a hard kiss filled with hate, but you knew that pushing the Archangel to this point wasn’t going to get you a passionate kiss. He snakes his tongue out across your lips, and you open up, deepening the kiss. I wonder what Mammon would think about me kissing an Angel?? The thought mixed with the excitement of it all made you giggle. Something you should not have done.

  Gabriel grabs you by your hair and breaks the kiss, “what’s so funny, MC??”

  “I was just wondering how I got to this point.” you lie, not telling him you were really thinking about your Demons.

  “You’re lying.” 

  He says it in such a low tone that you were sure if you were human you wouldn’t have heard it. In fact, you were completely sure that the only reason you did hear it was because you were an Angel. There was no way that human ears could have registered that low of a voice. And it turned you on.

  A mewl escapes your throat as you look the Archangel in his eyes. His face lights up at the sound, as he moves one hand up your shirt. You throw your head back as his cold hand makes its way up your hot skin, the contrasting temperatures sending goosebumps up your body. He takes notice of this and forces you into another kiss. 

  If it weren’t for the nails in your palms, you would’ve gripped the chains to try to ground yourself. How hasn’t he poked himself on my crown of thorns yet?? With the way he was making out with you, it was almost impossible not to. Unless he is. Too many questions kept popping in and out of your head, but were quickly being replaced with lewd thoughts. 

  His hand moves from your torso to your back, the other hand still wrapped in your hair. He pulls your body in close, so you’re flush against him, and you can feel just how hard he is for you. It makes you want to wrap your legs around his hips, but your ankles were still shackled to the ground. 

    You let out another whine as you try to clench your legs together. You feel a sudden burst of air, Gabriel letting his Angel form appear. You do the same, and Gabriel takes his hand out of your hair to touch your wings. 

  The gasp that leaves you is one of pure ecstasy, you didn’t know what it was like to have wings before you became an Angel, so you didn’t know what it felt like to have them touched in such a sensual way. I wonder what it would feel like if he touched my halo. You moan into Gabriel's mouth and he moans back into yours, but all of his touching and kissing was starting to border on over stimulation, your arousal beginning to drip down your thighs. 

  “Gabriel, please…”

  It was all you had to say before you felt his hand leave the small of your back and move its way down in between your legs. 

  As soon as his fingers touch you, you jolt, wings shuttering a little. 

  “You’re filthy, MC. Getting so wet even though you were being tortured. You need to be cleansed of your filth.”

  “Shut up, Gabriel.” you say in between moans. 

  “Oh, that mouth of yours. What shall we do about that??”

  For the first time since you got to this room, you felt your restraints loosen, as you drop to your knees. You wince at your knees hitting the ground that hard, but there was no time to gather any thoughts as Gabriel presses his dick to your lips. You gladly take him into your mouth. You hear his breath hitch, as you massage your tongue up the underside of his shaft. 

  “Fuck, MC…”

  Looking up to the Archangel, you see him watching you with those chrome eyes, a domineering smile on his face. Wrong type of smile to have, Gabriel. As soon as he closes his eyes and tilts his head back your eyes darken. As you pull your mouth off of him with a pop, you grab the nail sticking out of your hand with your teeth, and pull it out, in one swift motion. As you turn your head to do the other hand, his eyes shoot open.

   Your eyes never leave his face as you turn your hands to grab the chains attached to your metal cuffs. You see the look of panic in his eyes and makes you let out a small growl. 

  Whipping the heavy chains at him you manage to wrap up both his wrists, yanking him into a headbutt. As he reels backwards you flap your wings, hoping to break the chains still keeping you connected to the floor. When that doesn’t work, you harden your wings in the last hopes that dropping back down on them will be enough to break them, and to your surprise, it does! 

  With your feet free, you fly over to Gabriel, who is now bloody from getting headbutted with your crown, and pin him down to the ground. Wings flapping wildly behind him, he tries to wipe the blood from his eyes. 

  As you stay seated on top of him, you let out a seductive laugh, causing the Archangel to freeze beneath you when he hears it. 

  “Aww, are you scared, Gabriel?? What happened to all that shit you were talking?? You let your guard down, which was your first mistake. Your second mistake was letting me down from my confinement. And your third mistake-” you lean down to his ear and whisper- “was thinking that I was going to be submissive to you.”

  Chrome eyes go wide as all those words leave your mouth and you love how vulnerable he looks at that moment. You continue:

  “I’m going to absolutely destroy you, Gabriel. I can’t wait to hear what kind of sounds you can make.”

_________________________________________________

Devildom 

  Upon the brothers return to the house of Lamentation, they sit down in Lucifer’s study to start formulating a plan. Solomon had stayed behind to do some research on battle tactics. He informs the brothers of what he thought would be the best way to go about a war with the Celestial realm. Satan listens intently, as do the other brothers. 

  “-Of course these are all just hypothetical, Asmo have you heard back from Simeon yet??”

   “No word from him, he hasn’t even read my texts yet.”

  Lucifer huffs and runs his hand through his hair as he says: “we don’t have time for this. We can’t afford to wait around all day and night, we need to know what’s going on now.”

  “Well, what do you want me to do, Lucifer?? I can’t make Simeon text back…” Asmodeus quips.

  “It was foolish to count on others to get answers. Especially Simeon, if there really were a war happening, he wouldn’t be on our side anyway. Did you all forget that he’s an Angel?? His loyalties aren’t with us, Lord Diavolo, or with the Devildom.”

  The eldest brother takes a wavered breath, and his brothers look at him concerned. 

  “What are you thinking, Lucifer??” asks Satan. 

  Luci’s brows furrow as he starts, “There’s only one way we’re going to get a definitive answer…” He crosses his arms and looks around the room, reading everyone’s facial expressions, “...I’m going to ask Father, myself.” 

[sakurai09]

SPN13x13

You know exactly what this rant is about.

So for those of you who have watched the episode, welcome. For those who haven’t...welcome too. Because I am not about to tell you what to do.But I do advise, its going to be a screaming rant of literally the last...30 seconds of the entire episode.

Because the episode itself was very Lucifer-centric, let’s talk about the Devil himself first.

Poor little Lucifer who is losing all of his grace and is acting more and more human. I’m kinda glad they did that, but at the same time, he is still Lucifer, so its nice to see him being all ‘kill all the angels’ to steal their grace.

Poor cupid though.. because fuck you, that first moment with the girl skating -- who couldn’t skate -- and the baker with the massive wedding cake. I mean seriously...it was so cliche it was adorable.

You can’t change a person so quickly, especially someone like the devil. He still has an end game.

However, he has now seen that there are no more angels around, and I think that morally, that is troubling him. Selfish though his wishes are, he is seeing what is happening after his dear old dad had jumped ship.

Heaven is in shambles, hell is too.

And now he wants to help...in his own way. And I think, morally, or immorally, he is wanting his home back to the former glory it was. To up his HP/MP and level up overall, and to finally go back home and rule like he’s always wanted to.

Most likely its because he has seen just how powerful Earth 2 Michael is, and just wants to juice himself up to he can take down the dude. And have an army of angels at his side to take down the rest of the bad guys in Earth 2.

So all in all, nice dude. You’ve not changed, and I like that.

Next, Sister Jo, aka Anael.

For a scant moment, I was confused with Anna and Anael, I thought they were the same person, however, I was sorely mistaken.

I personally liked her character, she was a really good twist. Not all angels who see the devil are scared of him. And not all angels are GOOD. After all, Lucifer was an angel who loved too much (or whatever) and fell. It’s only right that there are others who are like him.

She will die, obviously. But its nice to see her have an end game of her own. She wants to be somebody, and she’s found the best place to be. By the side of a powerful king, worshiped by other angels. Rather than being what she was.

She’s not like normal angels, she’s a businesswoman.

So yes, she is a very interesting character, and I’m glad I like her for more than just ‘Dude it’s Daneel Ackles!’ which I was worried about.

Also, props for making it a weird, sickly odd whole...Lucifer/Anael...thing, rather than forcing the (IRL) married couple together. They did that with Sam/Ruby, and they’re doing it here too.

Very nice and affective -- however, did anyone else have a ‘ew’ shudder feeling when that whole grace sucking thing happened?

However, Dean and Anael have yet to properly meet. So that could go either way.

To me, Asmodeus is literally a character for Sam and Dean to have something to kill for this season. Though as integral to the plot as he is, he isn’t as much of a threat when you think about what is coming.

His shape shifting this is too much bad-guy trope for me to really consider him as anything but a lying, deceitful trickster (and no, do not slump that word with Asmodeus...eew). But then again...he did bring something to the table, so I’m not going to dispute his reasoning.

Donny is back, and yes, he is now in a trance...like didn’t that happen before? Urgh, Donatello, seriously man. And its good to see the Demon Tablet back again. Now that we have the book and the tablet, I see a future of them needing to destroy either or both of them for the betterment of the future.

I also see a showdown between Angel’s and Demon’s in tablet form...I mean can you imagine. It’d be like top trumps...

Good or bad, I dunno, we’ll have to see.

It was nice to see Cas back with the brothers, and though we didn’t get much of the three together, I sense there will be something there to happen. However, as this was a ‘no-homo’ episode, what with the neck slicing and the over erotic sense of taking someones grace -- which I have seen it is not supposed to be a sensuous thing. But whatever...

You’d think they’d veer away from that normality. But then again, there has to be a reason why Anael is actually letting him do it, other than for her future gain. Girl’s gotta get some current gain through he venture she’s setting out for herself.

Anyway, as it was a ‘no-homo’ episode, there was the little scant destiel-centered looks here and there, what with Dean being all ‘shit, i thought I was talking to Cas all this time, I can’t tell the different between him and a shapeshifter, what a shitty boyfriend (cough) am I?’.

Sam was spot on with his questions, he knows those two idiots need to get their heads out of their asses and actually talk. But right now is not the time, so let me ask about my mother, you know, the whole reason we did the whole ‘going to the alternate universe and losing Kaia’ etc.

Poor Winchesters, its just one thing after another for you dudes.

Now, the the piece de resistance. 

Seeing an archangel blade was rather exciting, however I expected it to be a little different to a normal angel blade. They just twisted the blade and painted it gold. However...I want one.

Also, when Ketch -- who...I’m not going to mention him because I haven’t ever liked him, from the whole ‘slept with Mary’ thing. So no. -- knew the history and the lore, its interesting to know that they were not going with the whole ‘Asmodeous is now powerful enough to wield the archangel blade --yadda yadda’ and actually do the impossible.

They brought my darling, favourite character out of the entire fucking show back.

Gabriel.

My little trickster is back. And has been locked up in hell for centuries (and maybe heaven too).

I absolutely loved how they had sewed his mouth shut (ala Deadpool in Wolverine style) because that tells me he was either most definitely screaming his way out, or negotiating his way out. He was known to have a silver tongue, and he was the messenger. Most definitely his voice had power, as did his words.

So yes, though I loath to think of Gabriel in pain for so long, it is so nice to see some kind of torture and a valid REASON for him not being able to...snap his fingers, or fly off and be all ‘yes bitch, I am back!’.

Poor baby needs some candy...(maybe Sam can...pour some on himself and offer it to Gabriel...ahem...)

Metatron had him first in heaven, or maybe he’s been in hell this whole time. Who knows, hopefully we’ll find out.

BIG EXPLANATION HOW ASMODEUS IS ABLE TO SHAPE SHIFT.

You asshole, you’ve been taking Gabriel’s powers? I now hate the ever living shit out of you, and I hope you die a painful and horrible death. And I hope its by Sam! (because dude, you KNOW I’m a SABRIEL fan through and through)

So yes, though the episode itself was a little eh...the big fat cliffhanger has gripped me tight by the collars and shook me into wanting the next episode to happen NOW.