#also I am running on no sleep rn I’m sorry for the typos but these two won’t leave my brain

[paperlignes]

Been floating around all day thinking about nandermo kissing. Drove for 6 hours didn’t remember anything just day dreamed about nandermo kissing. The idea of them kissing, it does things to me.

[paradox-oflife]

tagged by @lememecollector

Get to know me uncomfortably well tag: long post warning

1. What is your middle name? It’s Chinese lmao but if you can read it -> 語寧

2. When is your birthday? December 5th

3. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius :3

4. What is your favorite color? Red

5. What’s your lucky number? 12 or 7. These numbers just seem to pop up in my life a lot.

6. Do you have any pets? A very old, old golden retriever. I mean, he’s still healthy, he’s just reaaaal old.

7. Where are you from? Born in Northern California, lived in New Zealand for a chunk of my childhood, but I moved back in like elementary school

8. How tall are you?  153 cm, 5′0 feet tall that's right im a midget square up

9. What shoe size are you? 8.5 or maybe 9 depending on shoe brand

10. How many pairs of shoes do you own? like 4. sneakers, flip flops, semi-formal, and formal shoes

11. What was your last dream about? I have the most vivid and bizarre dreams. Last night, I had a dream about me eating at a restaurant with me friends. And I looked up to the night sky and I could see like, the universe in all its colors and glory. It was beautiful. Also there was something about cocaine??

12. What talents do you have? uuuuh I can play a couple of instruments. piano/cello/ukulele/bass

13. Are you psychic in anyway? define psychic. otherwise not really.

14. Favorite song? Read My Mind by the Killers. Or All These Things That I’ve Done by the Killers.

15. Favorite album? It’s so hard to choose. Top 3 in no particular order: Continuum by John Mayer, Sawdust by the Killers, Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski

16. Favorite movie? Spirited Away. Or maybe Kiki’s Delivery Service. Or Akira.

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who just vibes with me yknow. I can just talk for hours with them.

18. Do you want children? Mm. Not in the near future I guess. If I do, I’d have 2. Because it’s always great to have a sibling.

19. Do you want a church wedding? Yeah. But I don’t like having a really big wedding. I like being low-key.

20. Are you religious? Yeah. I was born and raised Christian. Non denominational, but I guess the closest would be Oneness Pentecostalism? Anyways religion is one of the few things I actually take pretty seriously.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? One time, and it was for stitches. Dumb story.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No, I will literally get an anxiety attack if I hear police sirens when I'm in the car. I pray that I don't.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Nah. Would be cool but idk how i’d react.

24. Baths or showers? Showers, but if I’m feeling it, a bath would never hurt.

25. What color socks are you wearing? Not wearing socks rn B). (also why do Americans not go barefoot more often lol. Its considered normal in NZ)

26. Have you ever been famous? No. I guess it’d be cool to be semi-famous. Like those small youtubers with a thousand subscribers. But I could never handle the pressure.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Noooo hell no

28. What type of music do you like? Alternative/indie rock

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? LMAO no, and never will. It looks so uncomfortable when you get out. Like... what if there’s bacteria in the water or something.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two to three

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Honestly I have a hard time falling asleep so im always too tired to really remember

32. How big is your house? My parents house. Pretty decent sized. Average two story American house. Well, im only here until the pandemic is over bc college lol

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cereal or bread.

34. Have you ever fired a gun? The only gun I've ever fired was a nerf gun

35. Have you ever tried archery? No. Never really had a chance.

36. Favorite clean word? Mm... I use chur a lot irl. Then I found out its nz slang and no one actually knows what it means in the states lmao.

37. Favorite curse word? Ah... I don't actually swear that much. Maybe like shit? idk

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? like 18 hours. sorry but I am one hell of a sleeper

39. Do you have any scars? one. very small, hardly noticeable on my cheek.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Well it wouldn’t really be secret if I knew about it right?? lol. I’ve had three. Two were boys in elementary school, and one was a girl in 10th grade. It was awkward bc im straight but. yeah.

41. Are you a good liar? Im a pretty down to earth person. So I don't lie a lot. But id say im alright.

42. Are you a good judge of character? For the most part, yeah.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I can do the southern USA accent, like the cowboy movies lol. The surfer accent, “duuuude”, like the turtle from Nemo. Im pretty bad at the Scottish accent. I can do a received pronunciation British accent, which is the standard accent you hear on tv. I can do Australian pretty well. And of course, my original accent, the kiwi accent. The standard one and the Maori one.

44. Do you have a strong accent? Eh. Not really. Sounds pretty American if I’m speaking slowly. But when I’m relaxed or talking fast, people tell me I sound kind of British. So I guess I have some weird combo of nz/american

45. What is your favorite accent? Australian is my favorite in general. But I love listening to thick Scottish accents. They’re so funny idk why

46. What is your personality type? INFP-T

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? A dress for wedding

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yup.

49. Favorite book? Aw man there’s so many. Fahrenheit 451 is always fun to reread

50. Left or right handed? Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? um YES

52. Favorite food? my dad’s fried rice hits the spot like no other. I also like green onion pancakes

53. Favorite foreign food? The three colored egg thing idk what its called in English?

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Probably more on the messy side, but I try!

55. Most used phrased? thick kiwi accent: “Oh, chur bro!” or “chur cuzzy!”

56. Most used word? Honestly it’s probably something like dude or bro

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Maybe 20-30 min on an average day

58. Do you have much of an ego? I try not to, id like to say im pretty humble when it comes to things. maybe too much.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck, but when im bored I CRONCH

60. Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes, usually if its im trying to remind myself of something

61. Do you sing to yourself? In the car usually, but its soft humming most of the time.

62. Are you a good singer? I mean, the most I can do is be on pitch. Nothing ordinary. I whistle like 24/7 in public tho

63. Biggest fear? Externally, probably needles. Internally? My friends are only pretending to like me

64. Are you a gossip? I don’t spread gossip but I listen to it sometimes. Actually, when it comes to the whole beauty community on youtube, I listen to a lot of it.

66. Can you dance? NOPE

67. Can you name all 50 states? Yup

68. Favorite school subject? For me it was orchestra and literature

69. Extrovert or introvert? according to the Myers briggs test im 78% introverted

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No and it makes me nervous

71. What makes you nervous? Everything. Anxiety :)

72. Are you scared of the dark? Nah. I live in a suburban area so nothing really happens, but if I’m out in a major city no thanks

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends how big. If it’s like a typo or something, I don't really care. If it’s something major then I’ll try to correct them

74. Are you ticklish? I used to be. But if you taser tickle me I will scream, or if you squeeze my thigh.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? No

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Eh ive been the leader of a club before. That’s it.

77. Have you ever drank underage? No!! Dont drink too much when you’re a minor it hurts ur brain :(

78. Have you ever done drugs? No

79. Who was your first real crush? lmao I had one in like 3rd grade but that was a long time ago.

80. How many piercings do you have? I got ear piercings when I was like 8 but I didn't do anything with them and the hole closed lol

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes

82. How fast can you type? Accurately? around 88 bpm. As fast as I can? more like 120.

83. How fast can you run? I was always more of a explosive runner. But I pretty much sucked at long distance runs. I think my best mile time was like 8:38??

84. What color is your hair? I believe its black/dark brown. can't be sure. im colorblind

85. What color are your eyes? Dark brown.

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 3

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Sorry I always post at night! I usually take the day to type and then release it at night. Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Warnings! pregnancy.

Part 1, Part 2

Word Count: 1.9k

For the past week, you’ve been trying to figure out ways of telling the vlog squad that you’re pregnant… Would it be easier just to tell everyone at one or do one/two people at a time? UGH WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT. You have to tell them asap because you’ll be able to know the gender in a month and you want them to be there. You decide to do something different for every couple of people in the squad but before you do, it’s time for your first ultrasound!

The last time you got this done, you were 9-10 weeks pregnant, so you were LATE finding out you were pregnant. You wanted to find the best doctor you can find and luckily, Kylie set you up with the same one she had. You brought Stass and Kylie to the appointment because they begged you. Doctor: *walks in* Hey y/n how are you feeling? Y/n: I don’t feel as sick anymore but I’ve been feeling really full lately. I didn’t think my stomach would pop out so early. I was thinking maybe it’s because I’m a small and short? Doctor: ‘maybe. Layback and let me take a look” she put the cold jelly on your stomach and starts looking around with the doppler. She finds the baby and you see it wiggling around. Kylie & Stass: “You’re giving us major baby fever rn.” The doctor turns on the heart monitor and you hear a strong heart beat. To you, it sounds normal, but to the doctor, she hears something else. She moves the doppler some more and she sees something. Doctor: “umm miss, how thorough was the ultrasound you had in the ER?” Y/n: “I don’t know, they had a lot of people and they did it a little quick? Why do you ask?” She moves the doppler to what she saw and you see another blob appear. Doctor: “if they would’ve been more thorough and taken time, they would’ve told you that you’re having twins. You, Kylie & Stass: “TWINS???!?!?!!!” Doctor: “Yes. It seemed to be that baby B was hiding behind baby A.” None of you had words. You were having twins… TWO KIDS. You felt like you were having the biggest fever dream of your life but you knew this was real. You already told your family you were pregnant but know you gotta tell them that you’re having TWO? Oh hell no. Doctor: “do you want picture?” Y/n: “uhhhh, sure?” You all walked out of the appointment speechless. Kylie: “well that happened.”

*A few days later*

I took you a couple of days to process that you’re eating for 3. You wanted to do something simple cause you didnt wanna stress yourself out anymore than you already are.

David, Jason & Josh:

(Remember when Erin pranked David and Josh that she was pregnant but it was really an ovarian cyst? It’s gonna be set up like that.)

You asked them to come with you and film in your tesla so you can film a car mukbang. You had the pregnancy test with the old ultrasound picture with only one baby in the glove compartment and you had the one that shows the twins in your pocket. Y/n: *filming a mukbang* “Hey guys! I have David, Josh and Jason here with me, say hi.”  All three of them: “Hi!!!” Y/n: “Since I had no other ideas this week, my last resort was this. So have fun watching us stuff our faces with food.” You drove to Chick-Fil-A, in n out and jack in the box. Once you got everything, You parked in a parking lot, but before you start, you asked David to get you some “napkins” that were in your glove compartment and you saw his eyes go wide. David: “Shut the fuck up.” Jason and Josh are in the backseat all confused and David shows them. Jason: “No you’re not.” You’re just sitting there all nervous/ laughing and all you can say is “yes I am.” David is crying cause he loves babies, Jason & Josh are congratulating you. David: “Who’s the dad?” Y/n: “He’s not in the picture.” They all look at you with sad eyes. Jason: “we’ll be here to help with everything at anytime.” Your hormonal ass is getting the best of you and you try to hold back the tears. Y/n: “oh! One more thing. That was the first ultrasound from 3-4 weeks ago, this one was from a couple of days ago” They all see the two blobs. All three boys: “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOU’RE HAVING TWINS?.” David: “Can I plan the gender reveal party?? Y/N: “Sorry, Kylie already called dibs.” David: “You told Kylie before us? Wow that’s cold.” Y/n: “Oh shut up. She was my only friend my age that has a baby. I had to get advice.” David: “ To make it up to me, If one of them is a boy, can you please name it David Jr.” Y/n: “Yes…. for 250k.” Jason: “Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him… cause it would probably be sponsored by seatgeek.” David: *looks to the camera* “You heard it yourself people. If she has a boy, she’ll name it David Jr. for 250k. “ Y/n: “Damn now I’m kinda scared”

NEXT DAY, Corinna & Mariah:

Okay so that went well, I gonna do a 2 truths, 1 lie with Corinna & Mariah. They’re gonna be playing on the same team, so it’s 2 against 1, well 2 against 3 lol. After about 3 rounds, it was a tie (I lied on other ones so we can tie.) Y/N: “Okay so my first one is that I broke my leg when I was 15, 2. I hate Corinna’s dog and 3. I’m pregnant. Mariah: “Oh what the fuck….. Ummm.” Corinna: “Wait, you hate Carl?!” Y/n: “Just answer the question.” Mariah & Corinna: “The lie has to be that you’re pregnant.” Y/n: “the lie is that I hate Carl.” It took them a minute to understand what I said. Mariah: ‘YOU’RE FUCKING PREGNANT.” Corinna: “OH MY GOD NO WAAAY.” Y/n: “Oh and one more thing! “Shows them the twin ultrasound.” Mariah & Corinna: ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING.” Corinna: “Are they Jeff’s?” Y/n: “Is it that obvious?” Mariah: “Kind of. The boys haven’t noticed because they’re idiots.”

NEXT DAY: Kristen, Scotty, Todd, Zane, Heath & Matt:

(I made this a big collab cause I was running out of ways to tell people)

So for this reveal, I asked the six of them to send in their silly baby/kid pictures so we can react to them. The last pic will be of the twin ultrasound. Y/n: *filming* “Hey guys! I’m here with Kristen, Scotty, Todd, Zane, Heath & Matt, say hi.” All 6 of them: “Hi!!!” Y/n: “This week, we’ll be reacting to our childhood photos and maybe roast them.” All of the pictures were so 90s. Kristen with the classic ruffled poofy dresses, Matt looking like a nerdy kid, Zane holding Hidaya when she was born, 7 year old Scotty singing into a hair brush…. And then the final picture, my twin ultrasound. Everybody was so confused. Zane: “Did someone eat their twin in the womb? cause aint none of us a twin.” And then someone finally noticed. Matt: “Y/n why is your name at the corner of that ultrasound?” Kristen: “NO YOU’RE NOT.” Heath: “OOOO BITCH SHE GONNA HAVE 2 LITTLE COFFEE BEANS.” Scotty and Todd are just speechless. You’re wondering if Todd knew about you and Jeff because he’s his best friend…

You pulled aside Kristen and told her Everything. The only people you can trust with who the dad is are the girls. Kristen: “Are you gonna tell him?” Y/n: “No… He doesn’t treat me right. If he’s never treated me right, how is he gonna treat these babies?”

Todd & Jeff on a hike:

Todd: “Hey, did you hear that Y/n is pregnant?” Jeff: “whoa no I didn’t. Who told you that?” Todd: “y/n did. She revealed it in a collab she was doing with others. She’s having twins.” Jeff: “Jesus Christ, twins? That’s gonna be terrible.” Todd: “She must’ve forgot to tell you. Maybe pregnancy brain really is a thing.” Jeff’s thoughts: “I knew that bitch was sleeping with other people. There’s no way those babies are mine. She had no right trying to get mad at me cause I’d ghost her. Thank god I’m with Natalie. She’s like no one I’ve ever dated before.”

Hanging out with Kylie & Stass:

I told all of the vlog squad. Stass: “Did you tell Jeff?” Y/n: “No, but Olivia told me that Todd told him. I think Jeff is too dumb to connect the dots. He won’t figure it out.” Kylie: “Are you sure you don’t want to tell him? You’re having twins and one baby is already a lot but two? You need the help. You know what, I can hire nannies for you.” Y/n: “What? No, you don’t have to do that. I don’t wanna spend your money.” Kylie: “It’s not like I’m running out. You do remember that I’m a billionaire, right?” Stass & Y/n: “How could we forget lol.”

David, Jason & Josh POV

David: “It sucks that y/n is gonna be a single mom. It’s gonna be a lot; 2 babies and she’s in her last year of college. I hope she’ll be okay.” Jason: “She’ll be fine. She has all of us to look out for her.” Josh: “I have my own kid to watch, so I’ll probably not be as much help.” David: “She has been one of the best friends I’ve ever had. We met on vine in 2015, we met up here in LA and then the rest was history. She was really there for me when Liza and I broke up. She was my shoulder to cry on. Honestly, I’d do anything for her.” Jason: “Do you have a thing for y/n?” David stayed silent. Josh: “I’m not sure if it’d be the right time to try to win her over. She has a lot going on.” David: “It’s getting pretty late, y’all should be heading home. Jason: “Yeah. I have to pick up Charlie and Wyatt early tomorrow. Josh: “The wife doesn’t like that I stay out late, goodnight.”

David thinking to himself:

I’ve had a thing for y/n for a while now but I don’t know. It’s obvious that she had a thing with Jeff. Because of those 2 fights they had in my backyard, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jeff was the father. I was mad at how Jeff spoke about her. She not like that at all! I mean, it’s not wrong if she were but no one should ever talk to a women like that. I’ll help her as much as possible; I’m not opposed if anything were to spark between us along the way…

Back to Y/n, Kylie & Stass:

Kylie: “When’s your next appointment?” Y/n: “2-3 weeks, why?” Kylie: “Cause by that time, WE CAN FIND OUT THE GENDER OF THE BABIES!” Stass: “She’s obviously gonna go all out. Did you see Stormi’s first birthday? I swear it looked bigger than a sweet 16.” Y/n: “Oh boy… or girl…”

------------------------

We get to find out the genders in the next chapter!! She’ll be like 16 weeks by then… I’m excited! I’ve already decided what both are gonna be… There’s gonna be some surprises! Oh and David has a thing for y/n? Ooooo girl the Tea is HOT. I also just realized the date of the video I picked when y/n and Jeff diddled (yes I said diddled).... The date on the video says 7/20…. That means the twins are due 4/20……. I swear I didn’t plan that lmao.

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @1-800-juniper @iminlovewithenchilidadas @ilsolee